Hi all.
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You're chapters are pretty short. Try to extend them longer, I mean if a reader wants read something worth his or her time and wants to review it, there should be a considerate amount of text to review from. I'm going to try and re read this If possible so I can understand what's going on because I am sort of confused
Because of the says there needs to be a comma before the end quotation, not a period.
That was extremely short. Nothing happened except Black waking up. You could have just made this the beginning and wrote a much longer chapter. It read very choppy. Nothing flowed well. When there was any description it didn't, well, describe anything. You could grab yourself a beta and ask them to look over the chapter beforehand and they'll let you know what might need to be fixed. It's sort of like a review before the reviews.
I feel like this is all happening TOO fast. I mean, you should slow down a lil bit. It is just major plot event after major plot event. Do not get me wrong, I love this fanfic. It really sucks you in! But I would love to see some more "boring" chapters, that focus on a certain aspect of a character or Pokemon. Keep up the great work!
Awesome tons of reviews! Yeah I definitely need to make the chapters longer. This one was short because I posted it and then saw the review from last chapter. :/ Next one will longer- I swear! XD I will see if I can add in those errors too. Thanks for the help and thanks for reading!
Just noticed this. What do you mean by, "boring"? I want every chapter really awesome so that it sucks people in! You shouldn't single a chapter out to plot progression, character detail, or battle scenes. Why not have all three!? I know that I am being somewhat hypocritical, as Black is still a bit of a mystery in back story to the readers, but I do this on purpose for a plot event I've planned and obviously will not reveal.
Just noticed this. What do you mean by, "boring"? I want every chapter really awesome so that it sucks people in! You shouldn't single a chapter out to plot progression, character detail, or battle scenes. Why not have all three!? I know that I am being somewhat hypocritical, as Black is still a bit of a mystery in back story to the readers, but I do this on purpose for a plot event I've planned and obviously will not reveal.
By boring I think he means filler. Filler chapters are always apart of a story and sort of gives the reader a break from all the seriousness of the plot.
^ Yea I agree with Shadow Lucario. Sometimes it's good to give the readers a little side track from main plot and allow them to read few non impacting chapters. As long as you have established likeable characters and a good descriptive writing style than I don't think it will matter whether it's a filler or not because your readers will be so entwined with your story that they'll love everything.
Ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh Okay. Well, Black obviously isn't in a condition to battle so I'll make this chapter a filler.
Thanks you guys
EDIT:
Thanks tons. Here's a less eventful chapter- I couldn't help myself from starting something at the end but mostly... somewhat normal. Might start a poll on *Spoiler Spoiler*
What hatches from Black's new Pokemon Egg.
Well, here's chapter 18 for you with a pun for the title. Have fun with it. ~Chapter
Chapter 18: In the Shadow of a Willow Tree
I awakened with a startle, slowly grasping memories of what happened last time I awoke. Again, my back began to arch in pain, but I eased down slowly and let myself lay in bed. The muted news channel told me that it’s 2:00 a.m. I tried to return to sleep. My parents would’ve said that I need the rest.
I try turning onto my right side slowly. I didn’t feel any damage, so I turn completely. I began to fall into slumber, but I was awoken by something in the room.
“Huh?” I spoke faintly. “Wh-Who’s there?” I stuttered.
I saw a glint of white light. I figured it was the glass on the wall, but it had begun to shift. I realized I’m not alone.
“Say something!” I try to whisper. The small light rises.
“Hush. I’m not here to hurt you.” He said. I pulled away from that side of the bed.
He turned on the light in the corner. He was a tall man with very short brown hair. Kind of like mine… He wore two circular glasses, which must’ve been reflecting the light from the moon. He wore a white lab coat- maybe he was a doctor here.
“Do not worry, Black. I was actually waiting for you to wake up.”
“How do you know my name!?” I replied, but not loud enough for anyone else to hear through the walls.
“Please, don’t worry, Black! It says so on your Patient’s Shirt that the hospital gave you! Now please, let me explain.” He retorted. I lowered my guard.
“Yeah… Okay. Well?” I said.
“I believe Professor Juniper told you of the Demetry region? Well, there are new Pokemon there native to the region! But even better, another region has been discovered! They have not yet developed a name, but they have discovered a Water, Fire, and Grass type that they have decided to be the starter Pokemon! Exciting, yes!” He said.
I listened with amazement, though still somewhat spooked by his shiny glasses. They make him look… Well, I don’t know.
“Yeah…” I said.
“There’s a problem though… I’d like you to help me with this problem.” He said.
“Well, I am really badly injured, and apparently a wound on my arm opened up again when I passed out, so… I’m not really in that condition.” I replied.
“Of course, of course, of course, of course, of coooooouuuuurse… Not now! But soon…” he responded. When he finishes, his eyes are again blocked by the shine of his glasses.
“And, uhhh, your name?” I ask.
“Oh, of course, I’ve been rude. Asking favors without even giving a name! Tsk tsk… Anywho, my name is Professor Willow, and I am the declared professor of the Demetry region! Fabulous, isn’t it!?” He said.
“...”
“…”
“Well, yeah, I guess… Sure. Congrats”. I finally replied.
“Thank you. Now, my full name is Kane Willow, but you can call me Willow. Any other questions?” he said.
I think on it for a moment. Maybe:
How did you get in here? Or Why am I the chosen one for your favor? Or maybe even How the hell did you become a professor!?!?
I choose a basic response of, “No, not really.”
“Stupendous. Now, I am trusting you with this egg from the Demetry region. It will hatch into-” he started. I cut him off.
“Actually Prof- er… Willow… I would enjoy to find out on my own if it’s not absolutely necessary to know.” I said.
“Oh… Well… Just, be very careful with it!” He replied. “You’ve already taken one from me… And they said I could only take one…” He continued with a mumble.
“Huh? What did you say? What did I take from you?” I responded.
“Nothing.” He said flatly. Again I see the glint in his glasses. ”We’ll meet again.” He continued.
Leaving the room, he slamed the door shut. I stared at the door, hoping it may never open again. But thinking this made me shutter. I didn’t want to stay there. I didn’t want to be involved in all of this. With Eva, the one who gave me the wound on my arm. Or Wrath, who kidnapped my bestfriend, White, or Willow who-
Something told me to stop this train of thought and rewind. Let’s see…
White!! I need to save White! Oh no… Oh nooooooooo! What have they done with him!?
Just thinking about this made me cry. I slumped back down against my pillow and weep. I couldn’t believe I forgot about my best friend! All of the memories with White, flowing through my mind.
I sobbed for a few minutes before falling to sleep again. The news told me it’s 6:00 a.m…. Wait.
That meant that I’d been awake for four hours!
I fall against my pillow, and almost immediately fall to sleep.
I awoke calmly. For once.
I can see Professor Juniper in the hall through the glass. She sees me stirring and walks in.
“Morning Black! I see you’re recovering well.” She said in her normal, peppy attitude.
“Yeah, hey. So, do you know anyone named Kane Willow? New Professor of the Demetry region?” I asked.
She thinks for a moment. “Well, I know him, but I wasn’t aware that he was the new professor of the new region! I’ll have to congratulate him some time.”
I take a moment to (in my thoughts) sigh in relief that he is in fact a professor of some kind.
“Why do you ask?” She questions.
“Oh, well, he was here in my room last night and-“ she cuts me off.
“What?” She said in shock.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Black…” she starts.
“Yeah?”
“…”
Silence from her end.
She starts again.
“No one has been in this room since you were last awake with your parents.”
~
Thanks for reading and check in again sometime for an RnR or a new chapter. Thanks!
I LOVED this chapter!!! Very mysterious, leaving people wondering "WTF JUST HAPPENED?!?!?!?!" I think the egg is gunna be a Fennekin, or some Gen 6 Pokemon! Overall, great chapter. Keep it up!
Thanks a ton- Means a lot XD I feel like I did well with this chapter but IDK if it was too eventful. Next chapter things speeden a bit again, but not really. Black begins to investigate and the end of the chapter will be the pace pick-up.
Are we going to see the trio again? Because I don't really like stories where a character that seems important just vanishes after that small time unless the character has a reason for leaving...
Also, when is the chapter coming out? Can't wait for it!
Sorry my computer monitor is down so it might be a week or so. I planned on getting one this weekend but IDRK right now. If you'd like a reappearance from the trio than that'd be cool. BTW, do you want to be on the PM list? First time you posted here so I dodn't even realize u were a fan.
Anyways, like I said earlier, I cant write a chapter right now because my laptop doesnt have word and even its internet connection terrible so :/ I'll try for within the week See ya then!
EDIT: New chapter. Nothing too crazy, like you readers out there wished for. XD Here's some plain old plot progression for all of you.
***
Chapter 19: Iron Heart
I had another dream.
I was sitting alone in my hospital room when that same man came in. But no one was there; only a pair of glasses sitting on the table. But then, the man materialized in front of me. He took out a Pokeball silently. Hesitantly, I jumped out of my bed and ran for the door. The door turned to stone, and wouldn't budge.
I could hear the man’s footsteps behind me. My arm wound opened again, and blood was on the floor without him having to use a weapon. He presses the button on the Pokeball, lighting the room with a dim red aura. I couldn't make out the Pokemon, but I saw that it was bright. So bright, it blocked out my vision, but, it was otherworldly.
My sight reduces to nothing, being entirely blinded by the white light.
For some reason, I awoke calmly.
Two nurses were working on the machines next to my bed as I began to stir. They noticed that I was up and called for a doctor. A woman came in.
“Hello Black. You've nearly fully recovered, but you’re allowed to leave the hospital today. We’re giving you a meal before you go. It’ll be in the room soon. Anyhow, you’ll be able to leave in the afternoon.”
“Well, thank you very much. I've had a pretty rough few days recently.”
“I can only imagine,” She responded. She pulls something out of her lab coat pocket. “Here. Your friend White gave this to the receptionist in the front and said that this was for you.”
Impossible. Now I’m really wrapped up in some weird conspiracy. White was kidnapped! I wouldn’t believe that he’s already back without my help! Or, I mean, then again, maybe the police got involved… After all, I’m no cop…
I opened the envelope. Inside was three dollars - three dollars that White owed me for coffee at the Pokemon center.
“No… Impossible.” I mumbled to myself. The nurse to my right looked at me, and gave me a strange look. I ignored her.
The door opened, and another nurse came in with a tray of plain looking cereal, dyed different colors to look fun, some bacon (which actually looked quite nice), and a small cup of water.
“Thank you,” I said as she placed it on my bed. I move the tray onto my lap.
“Not a problem,” she said, “I hope you feel well soon.” I picked up a piece of bacon, and took a large bite out of it. Putting it down, I noticed that the cereal had no spoon. I sighed, and put it towards the corner of the red tray. I took a gulp of water and, without realizing it, drank the whole glass in a single sip. I finished the bacon and waited a while for the nurses to tell me I could go.
It was two o’ clock. The nurses took the IV out of my arm, and disconnected me from the machines. I only had a few wires on my arms, and some heart detector thing on my left wrist. My parents were there to hand me some clothes from my drawer. The shirt was plain white, and the pants were dark jeans. I also took a sweatshirt that I had at the end of my hospital bed, that was dark green.
My parents checked me out as I waited impatiently in the car. I was really famished.
But then there’s a knock on the passenger side door, and a note was slipped in through the cracked (slightly open, not broken) window. I picked it up.
Black
Meet me outside of Drayden’s gym, tomorrow night. Important news for our little plan. I’ll see you then. ~Kane
Damn. This guy was my problem. I would meet him anyway, but that’s only because he knew where White was.
We pulled into our one-car driveway. As always, I almost tripped on the crack in the pale-grey cement. I walked inside, and into my room.
“How’s it feel to be back in your own bed, sweetie?” I hear my mom call out.
“Great!” I respond. I roll on my side and feel my night table for my cell phone. I found it, and slid it to the side to message White.
“Where are you? If you don’t respond with the code, then I won’t believe it’s you.” It read.
Our code was something to say/do if we’re ever feeling weird or in danger. We said, ”I think that’s a new Pokemon!” or something along the lines of that. But when we couldn't communicate that way, per say, through text message, we just had to say-
My cell vibrated. It read, “Bananas”. It was him. I looked up in shock. I grabbed my Pokeballs from my Kitchen, which my dad or mom must’ve left there, and said I was headed for White’s house.
When I arrived, I knocked on the door.
White’s mother answered, with puffy eyes. “Yes? Oh, hello Black. Are you feeling quite all right?”
“Yes Mrs. Vision. I was wondering if White was here.”
“No, he isn't. I was actually just thinking about him…” She managed to speak, another sob coming out in between sentences.
“Oh, okay. Well, I ah…” I responded, thinking about the three dollars, and the text message.
“Uh, nothing. I just wondering if he was here.” I said.
“Oh… Well, no he’s not here right now…”
“Okay. Well, um, just tell me if he shows up. Thanks.” I replied, turning around to go. I heard the door shut.
At my house, dinner was already ready.
“Black, do you want any Mushroom Stew!?” My mom asked.
“Ugh, no!” I replied. She knows that I hate mushrooms.
“Hahaha! I know, I know… Here, I made you some pasta.” She said, portioning some onto a plate in front of my seat at the dining table.
“Great!” I said. I sat down and enjoyed the well-cooked pasta thoroughly.
After dinner, it was about six o’ clock. “Black, why don’t you get into your pajamas?” My dad said.
I went to my room and went to my dresser to take out my clothes. I laid them out on the bed. When I turned and looked at my bed, I noticed something on my window sill.
I inched forwards, hoping that this was not what I thought it was.
But of course it was.
A pair of circular glasses, glinting in the faded moon’s light.
So, not much is going on and because of that, I don't have much to comment on. To break this chapter down, it was, in a nutshell, character says this. This happened. Then we went here. I do enjoy the cliffhanger at the end though. Leaves a little thought as to exactly who that man really is. Your grammar has been improving and there have been less and less mistakes lately. The one thing I see you struggling most with is commas though. Just remember that before addressing someone and in speech when the quotation is followed by a verb such as shouted, said, or the like, you need a comma. Other than that there isn't many mistakes besides trying to type too fast. Hope your monitor gets fixed soon. Until then.
Is not every chapter, every fic, every story? All this is saying is that things happened. That's like saying, "How are you?" And then a response of, "I am me." Like, this happened, we went here, etc., is just things happening.
So, not much is going on and because of that, I don't have much to comment on. To break this chapter down, it was, in a nutshell, character says this. This happened. Then we went here. I do enjoy the cliffhanger at the end though. Leaves a little thought as to exactly who that man really is. Your grammar has been improving and there have been less and less mistakes lately. The one thing I see you struggling most with is commas though. Just remember that before addressing someone and in speech when the quotation is followed by a verb such as shouted, said, or the like, you need a comma. Other than that there isn't many mistakes besides trying to type too fast. Hope your monitor gets fixed soon. Until then.
Thanks Shadow! Actually, I don't have Word on my laptop so I was able to the screen is fixed now and I can do my art at my art shop again and I can continue the fic.
Thanks for catching the errors.
Finally- Part 2 and chapter 20!! I'd like to thank the readers who are still going along with my fic- It means a lot and I'm glad to see that I have fans! The poll at the top will be updated to Part 2 characters, though Black and White will remain. Because Black is a main character, Wrath also got a vote, so he will make a return in the fiction. So, here it is- CHAPTER 20!
Part 2~ Chapter 20: Team of Four
I couldn’t fall asleep. I fitfully tossed and turned; put on a blanket and then threw it off. I couldn’t help but staring at the glasses.
When I finally woke up, the glasses were still there, untouched. I immediately threw on clothes, and grabbed my Pokeballs. I’m not waiting any longer.
I ran around the corner of Drayden’s gym, but came to an abrupt stop when I saw Greed, Lust, White, and Kane sitting there. They seemed sorta… Peaceful.
“What, the……” I said.
“Black!” White said, jumping up from his chair.
“Hey! What- Where- What happened!?” I replied curiously. “And, what’s he doing here?”
“We have, ah, mutual goals, so to speak.” Greed said.
“Oh, please, we all know that you’re just in it for the reward.” Lust said.
“Well, I guess so… I think that that’s what I meant by, ‘mutual goals’”.
“You!” I said to Kane.
“Me.” He replied. “ I thought you’d come early, so I brought some friends. You’re lucky that Wrath didn’t put up much of a fight.”
“…” I was speechless. “What!?”
“Wrath is gone. He’s a part of Team Plasma, but he left when he heard that the Iron Heart team is here,” said White.
“Iron Heart?”
“It’s the division of Team Rocket that I’m in,” explained Kane,” It’s a small but skilled and powerful division. You, White, Greed, Lust, and Pride are our newest members.”
“Huh? But I thought that Pride was captured by Wrath? And, since when am I joining this thing!?” I retorted.
“Well, unless you’d rather be a prisoner, of Team Rocket, then you’d better join.”
“I’ve had that threat before, and I must say, escaping wasn’t too hard,” I said, thinking about Team Plasma and Eva.
“Fine. Then say goodbye to White. Forever.” He said.
I thought on it for a moment. “Fine. So, what’s the plan?”
“Finally! Let’s get started,” said Greed. We all leaned in to listen.
“Hmm… That’s interesting. Who are these, ‘Sozin,’ and, ‘Maya,’ people you mentioned.” I said after listening to the full plan.
“They’ll be your teammates, along with a boy named, ‘Chrom’. Team Rocket is extremely organized- The Team is divided in several ways, with the most major division being each region. There is a Team Rocket infiltration in Unova, Hoenn, Johto, and Demetri. Then, each region has five divisions. Each division has its own members. We’re the Iron Heart Faction. Each faction has members that specialize in different fields- All of us are field workers; going on missions because we’re smart and good with Pokemon. Of course, there is no division in Kanto because we don’t want to be disbanded by another powerful fool… Him and his Pokemon single-handedly destroyed us back in Kanto, and still watches over his home-region,” Kane replied.
“…Woah… That’s seriously awesome. What’s that man’s name that disbanded Team Rocket?”
“Red.” Kane said grimly.
I knew that name- I used to aspire to be just like him, but suddenly I hated him. I felt like I could just… Just, obliterate him. “Huh.” I said, plainly.
“Wait, Black and I are in different groups? Can’t I join him?” White asked.
“No,” said Kane, “I don’t want to waste any of your skills by grouping too many of you together. Greed, you’ll be joining my group. Lust, you’ll be with White.” He explained.
“Okay, so, what’s our first mission?” I asked.
“Finding the maps.” Kane said.
“Maps to where?” said Lust.
“To where the key is. Don’t you remember? I explained this in the plan.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t mention what the key unlocked.” White retorted.
“It’s not necessary. Look, there are a few maps scattered around Unova, and the Iron Heart Faction already has twenty-five of them. We’re missing one, and we can fins where it is by going to the Artahk Ruins. They’re in Challenger Cave. Not a large ruins, but it is very important. Black, your group, and your group alone, will be venturing into that cave.”
“Uh, yeah, okay. When?” I asked.
“Now,” said Kane.
“Now!?” I asked.
“Now! Go!” he replied. I said goodbye to Greed, Lust, and White, and head off in the direction of Challenger Cave.
I finally reached the entrance of the cave, when someone said, “Hey. You must be Black.”
I turned in a 360 degree circle, but so nobody.
“Sorry. Here, now can you see me?” the voice said again. As if an invisible curtain were pulled away, a buy appeared in front of me. He had black hair that hung near his ears, and deep, blue eyes. His skin was somewhat pale, but his face was littered with freckles. “Name’s Sozin. This is my Kecleon.” He explains.
He holds the invisible item in front of him, and a chameleon appears. I scan it with my Pokedex.
“Cool! Wait, where are the others? I thought that we had a group of four?” I said.
“We do. Maya and Chrom are inside. I’m standing here, watching for any trainers that want to go in. You can go on inside. Be careful, though. Chrom and Maya have powerful Pokemon, and will fight whatever they see. Chrom has two powerful Steel types, while Maya uses Psychic.” Sozin said.
“Wait, we have to use only one type of Pokemon?” I asked.
“No, no, but some people do this for the benefits that Iron Heart offers. I use a mixed team. Think on what you want to use. But, you don’t have to think about this now. Go ahead in.” he said.
He seemed nice enough. I went inside.
It was pitch black. I couldn’t see anything. I heard bugs and noises all around me, creating a rhythm and beat. I took one step, and their melody collapsed at my misplaced note. Everything became as silent as everything was dark.
I'm going to be stopping the team review. If you need a review of whose on Black's and other main character's teams, then you may not be paying enough attention. But, anyway, I WILL be having a raffle. An OU Team on PS for the grand prize winner, based off of the PKMN and Characters of this Fan-Fiction! Second place will win an RU Team, and 3rd will win an NU Team. PM or VM me to enter!
Really short chapter. Not much happened. Just learning that Black has to find a map for some reason. Not too much description went into the chapter. The most description was used for Sozin. The mistakes were minor and more than likely the result of typing too fast. Hopefully the next chapter will be longer and more descriptive. Until next time.
Thanks Shadow! God, it's been almost a moth since this fic has been posted on! DX DX I'll make sure to post a new Chapter soon and to put in those edits.
After a long break, I finally return to finish up this fic, and then write the three one-shots that follow it.
Chapter 21: With Friends Like These
A few steps in, I heard a loud thud, followed by a splash that sounded like someone falling down. “Whose there!?” I said. Spinning around, I saw no one there, but a silhouette of a humanoid.
Now I was terrified.
I continued to walk, starting to see a dim light at the end of the tunnel. A small candle was lit from a broken chandelier, missing all candles but the one lit.
And then I heard another splash.
I turn, but this time a woman had a knife to my throat.
“Leave. Now.”
Her face, and for that matter, our surroundings, were barely visible. Suddenly, I remember that I’m working with Team Rocket. Does that mean that people think poorly of me? I had poor thoughts of this organization when I first heard of it, especially after my encounter with…
I suddenly recognize her face.
“I see that you’ve recovered.” I said.
“I said to leave… And I have friends to help me if you plan on anything otherwise.” She said.
A boy with blue-gray hair and a girl with short brown hair emerged from behind her, an Escavalier and an Alakazam follow them.
Chrom and Maya! I thought to myself.
“Traitors! You were supposed to help me in here! And now you’re working with her… With… With Eva!” I said to them, disregarding the knife to my throat.
“Has the thought ever occurred to you,” Maya said, “that Kane is the traitor? We’ve always been with Team Plasma, and, for your information, the same thing happening to you is happening to Sozin outside.”
Damn. There’s no hope now, and I still haven’t made any progress to saving White, Greed, or Lust.
“Get out, or we’ll take you with us.” Eva said.
“Aren’t we supposed to just kill him? My Escavalier is itching for it…” Chrom said.
A lump forms in my throat. I can’t believe I trusted Kane so blindly! I thought to myself.
Another splash behind me. And another. And another one. I thought they may be footsteps.
Then a gunshot. Blood sprays the walls, and I feel myself collapse. Everything is black around me, but I hear somebody screaming.
Then, my pupils adjust to the darkness. I’m not the one who was shot. Eva was shot, and still gripping my shirt, fell to the ground, and I went with her.
And, she’s not the one screaming. Maya must have been screaming because…
I take her hand off of me, and pocket her knife. I feel her wrist.
She’s dead.
I take out a Pokeball.
“Charmander, light the way.” I said. Charmander appears in front of me, holding his tail in between his hands to keep it away from the puddles. This worked out for both of us, because it lit up the room more.
Maya was still screaming. Or, maybe she wasn’t. I began to think that my ears were ringing from the gunshot, and that I still couldn’t hear anything. I saw Chrom moving his mouth, and Escavalier approached me, his blade-arm wound up, as if preparing to strike, but Charmander is in the way. Apparently a Steel/Bug Pokemon didn’t want to fight a Fire Pokemon. I can’t blame him.
Chrom made an angry face, and I faintly hear his commands. As he takes out a Pokeball- probably to return Escavalier- Maya spits something to Alakazam. He closed his eyes, and Charmander was in the air. Charmander was now hurdling towards me, fiery tail first.
“Agh!” I shouted. I hear myself say it. Now the ringing was a whisper. I felt myself panic. What option did I have!?
I instinctively took out a Pokeball. “Come on out!” I said, and Darumaka appeared. He hit into Charmander, and they both feel to the ground. Charmander scurried to stand, spewing Ember attacks to help his tail survive.
“Hmph. Resourceful,” Maya said, “Maybe you would be a good addition to the team. But we could never trust you. So, Alakazam, finish them.”
Alakazam closed his eyes and held his spoons out in front of him. He gained a blue glow, and Charmander’s tail was drowned in the water. I feel awful, even though I’m not being hurt. Charmander’s jaw is stretched so wide, and the sound coming from it is louder than anything I’ve ever heard in my entire life.
Then, the entire tunnel lit up with a bright, white light, and Charmander’s yelling stopped.
CHARMANDERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!
The white light faded, and everything was dark again.
A dark, red flame now lit the tunnel. Standing before me was Charmeleon, the evolution of Charmander.
“Oh… Oh, ah! Charmeleon!” I said. I already know my new favorite move.
“Use Metal Claw!” I yelled. Charman- or, um, Charmeleon’s eyes lost its pupils, and turned red. He shook his head at me. I guess he wasn’t going to use Metal Claw.
Blue and orange smoke was steaming off of him, and he shouted at Alakazam. Both Maya and Alakazam seem intimidated now. I would be too.
Charmeleon jumped like a Blazekin, and launches himself off of the tunnel’s ceiling, straight at Alakazam. He swiped, and kicked, and bit, and smacked, and shot fire at Alakazam until he wasn’t steaming, and his eyes reverted to their normal looking pupil and iris.
I stood in awe, as did Chrom and Maya. Alakazam was, clearly, knocked out and lying on the ground.
It’s just like Drayden said. If I train and love my Pokemon enough, it can do anything it wants to do. And Charmeleon just learned Revenge.
---
Sorry it took so long to write, but I'm glad I am finally coming back to this fic. And, yes I know, a crazy chapter. RnR please! ~Chapter
