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Into My Woods ~PG-13~

Lady Myuu

Damsel mostly Stressed.
The first chapter is all ready written, and it being nearly 14 pages long troubles me and makes me fear I may scare away reviews.


Guys, if I was a real writing and doing this for a living. I would not bother posting my work here. But I don't get paid but I work just as hard. I am looking for a couple of people to beta the chapters... as I am horrible at catching things...


Place and time: This story would take place in a time like our western days (1860-1870’s perhaps) but in the pokemon world.
Genre: Fantasy/romance/some mystery

Chapters: Five

List:
Chapter one:Of Mareep and red hair
Chapter two: A bed in the blizzard
Chapter three: Secrets and trickery
Chapter four: A past most unpleasant
Chapter five: Through the woods
Epilogue: Goodbye and Hello


I Dedicate this story to Renegade. She is my muse for all my stories. With out her, this story would not exist, nor would my next story.
Her stories and her imagination is what keeps me writing.

I forever support her, she is my twin, my missing half and my online sister.

Myuu






Into My Woods

By Lady Myuu
Banner made by Scrap



Come into my woods, make yourself at home.
I mean no harm.
I want to be of aid.
I don't bite…
I don't…
I promise.



Prologue
Mother always says, start with a fairy tale...



Once upon a time, in a land so very old yet so very young compared to now, Back before the common pokeball or the common trainer, before cars and computers, before any sort of electronic.

There was a girl.

Now many expect to hear that she was a special girl, pretty and brave and was the best in her class. She could befriend any creature with a sweet whisper. But this is not so, for this girl was very common and ordinary. A farm girl she was, she lived on a small farm with her older brother and parents. She was good and did her chores and always did her best in school though it wasn't always enough.

She was often called foolish, as she was known to pick a fight with boys.

But when she was fourteen a terrible tragedy accrued, her father became ill with a terrible sickness that had been sweeping the sweet land of Johto. It soon took his life and with that the supporting key to the small farm. The girl's mother was devastated and was never very strong to begin with.

So the two children, fourteen and sixteen began to do there best to keep up with the farm and there school but soon found that they were failing and were unable to put bread on the table and keep the roof from leaking. So one painful day, the older son took up a sack kissed his mother and sister goodbye and headed off for the grand city of Goldenrod, to work there and send money back to his family…

That was two years ago, the older brother often sent letters for the first year and very little money if any at all for months until…his letters stopped and so did the money, as if he had vanished from the earth.

Now the girl was left to care for her farm her mother and school. She could not do it all so she had to abandon her education in hope she could lift up the farm back into its glory it once held.

But then another tragedy hit, the same sickness that had taken her father was now taking her mother. The poor woman was bed ridden and could barely speak. The doctor could do little but dull the pain as best he could.

The girl knelt down beside the woman; she clutched her mother's cold shaking hands.

"…Hannah, my little Hannah…" the mother whispered "Brave and true Hannah…" she sighed now as she clasped her cold hands tightly.

"You have grown into a fine young woman, you will make very good wife to a good man someday… if only your brother could see you… if only I could see him once more. See how handsome he must be for if you turned out so lovely he must be twice as handsome as he was the last time I saw him" her horse voice whispered as a weak smile played across her white face.

The girl now known as Hannah closed her eyes and nodded as she held back tears. She loved her mother dearly as she was the only family she had left, both of the men in her life had left her to fend for herself and her mother… now soon she would be alone too.

"I will find him ma, I will bring him home to you" Hannah replied gently as she kissed her mother's cheek. "You can count on me."




~*~
 
Last edited:

Xiang

Well-Known Member
It was good, but so sad....

Very original, too. The only mistake I really noticed was here:

Once upon a time, in a land so very old yet so very young compared to now, Back before the common pokeball or the common trainer, before cars and computers, before any sort of electronic.

There was a girl.

After electronic, shouldn't there be a comma?

Anyways, I liked it. So sad, and really, the prologue served its purpose well. I know who the protagonist is now, and what the problem is, how it happened, and something that can be helpful (or at least they thought it was) to solve it. Great job!

Ratiasu
 

IceKing

Sexorific!
But when she was of fourteen a terrible tragedy accrued,

Was of fourteen? That doesnt sound right

for if you trued out so lovely

Thats turned

Overall, this prologue wasn't the best of prologues but it definetely has me interested as to know what will happen in the story. Heh, farm girl in the big city... And PLEASE don't start with once upon a time, thats just really....third gradish... It was kind of corny but I have a vague knowledge of your writings and it should be done a little better. BTW, did you quit with that Zubat fic? That one had me interested too...
 

Lady Myuu

Damsel mostly Stressed.
... I started it with once upon a time cuz I was aiming at a fairy tale kind of begining o.o as I do love them.

*runs off to edit the typoes*

and believe me... this story is going nowhere where you THINK it is going XD

thanks for the reviews.


zubat... zubat... I had a zubat fic?
 

Lady Myuu

Damsel mostly Stressed.
I was told that it would be better not to cut the chapters up, so expect the next chapter sometime next week...

Chapter one: Of Mareep and red hair​



The brunet haired young woman, now age of sixteen and a half grumbled to herself as she glanced about the dark woods, it was as if it was night in the ilex forest, the trees so thick together that they blocked out any light. Though most of the trees were pine those that were not had golden or red leaves. None had really fallen yet and if they had it would make little difference as the tree were so thick and branches so many that still the sun would find it a maze to get through.

The girl's green eyes darted around her, her hair had been pulled back into a braid to keep it out of her face. Her clothing was a simple white blouse with a loose green travel skirt. It easily got caught on branches.

She had a small bag in one arm and a leash to a small animal in another. A shall was wrapped around her shoulders to keep the nipping chill away.

"Fluff, this was stupid." Hannah sighed as she looked down at the Mareep, as it was one of the few pokemon that was domesticated enough to travel with. As in the old fashion world of pokemon, it was not so easy to just capture a wild beast but it took time, breeding and training of a different kind. Most pokemon were kept as protection and pets and most that have been breed to be this way instead of those in the wild.

After all taming a wild gyarados with out a pokeball would be quite a challenge to many.

Hannah came from the small town of Azelea, and when they say small they mean 'population fifty' small. It was a freshly started town, Hannah's father moved there when it was just starting to get a schoolhouse slash church.

The young woman had lived there all her life, she had never dared gone near the ilex forest, which was far on the outskirts of town. It took a good three hours to get near the forest and to get past the woodcutters who seemed keen on not letting her enter.

Something about a dangerous creature looming within…

"… The only thing dangerous about this place is that it never ends" Hannah declared loudly sending a small group of hoothoot flying. As the owl pokemon do not know when day or night is and tend to be up all hours of the day.

As if the Mareep could understand its master the sheep pokemon gave a bah in response and its skittish eyes darted about unsure of this knew place. Its tail glowed brightly giving Hannah the light needed.

The farm girl could not recall how long she had been in the woods, as being unable to see the sun she was really unsure if it was night or day. But she was praying it was still day as she had been warned to get through before nightfall.

And so the woman traveled on, dragging the poor sheep pokemon along as it baahed in protest against this injustice life had brought upon it. She ignored the pokemon as she glanced about her again, as she had come to a fork in the paths and no sign showed where to go next.

"… I'm going to kill my brother" she growled as she looked about nervously as the sounds of the forest was getting to her, Fluff once again baahed in response to her seeming to believe that the death of her brother was a good idea.

Hannah after spinning in a circle with her finger pointed out scooped up her bag and untangled the leash around her. Now that she had used her 'map' to find the right path she headed down the little dirt trail ignoring the sinking feeling she was just going to get more lost. If that was possible that is.

The two beings continued there way down the unknown path in the unexplored forest of ilex in an unexplored land of Johto. Which was making Hannah feel very small and insecure and really, really hated her older brother right now, she was going to kick him for causing all this mess.

Hannah slowed her walk, her eyes falling onto something in her path, it looked like a small house at first but a second glance told her it wasn't, it was built up off the ground a little with beautifully sanded wood. It had a small shingled roof that made into a slope on both sides. Only three walls as the fourth was missing so that anyone may see inside, it held a small platform within which seemed to be there to put something on…

Stopping for a second the girl stared at it for a bit before looking down at the worried looking Fluff. The sheep pokemon baahed in fear and tugged on his leash but Hannah ignored it. Looking over at the unknown shrine again something glittered brightly from inside, seemed a small stream of sunlight had broken through the trees and now was aimed just right to hit whatever was inside the strange little building.

Hannah stared a moment before grinning and let out a small "Ooh shiny" before heading forward towards the shrine, Fluff whining and pulling the whole way in attempt to stop his master from going any closer.

Once reaching the shrine the girl looked inside of it and noticed a small plack in front of the platform. She blinked as she tried to read the words engraved into it, and slowly said allowed to her pokemon.

"In honor of the forest protector" she mumbled out before glancing down at the Mareep.

"Any idea that that could be?"

The sheep pokemon just continued to bah in protest against this cruel world that had brought him straight to the slaughter. Hannah just rolled her eyes before peering deeper within the shrine; she froze as she felt a cold chill wind blow past but shrugged it off as she looked down at her find.

A strange gold ball lay in a round engraving on the platform; she had never seen the likes of anything like this before. She noticed two letters on the ball, GS. She blinked and tilted her head a little her eyes staring at her strange find. She had never seen a pokeball, in fact they were not really invented yet, yes there were some strange ways to obtain while pokemon but not in anyway a farm girl could afford or really know of.

Hannah shook her head a little to get rid of the 'ooh' feeling she had before glancing about to make sure no one was watching her other then Fluff. Not that anyone else was in the woods or so she thought. Slowly she reached up and touched the cold metal of the ball. It chilled her fingers a little and she now attempted to grip it, to see if she could remove it.

"That is not a toy." Growled a voice "In fact touching it may upset him"

Hannah let out a loud eek as she backed away from the shrine and held Fluff's leash close to her the sheep pokemon now going berserk and trying to escape into the foliage. The woman looked around trying to spot where the voice came from, she didn't understand why she was so frightened… but she was. She wasn't expecting anyone to speak to her in the middle of the dark ilex woods. It was unknown territory mostly, few really venture through it.

Stepping around the shrine was a man. He had been leaning behind it the whole time and heard Hannah even speak to her pokemon. He looked around the age Hannah's brother would be, eighteen, but looked nothing like her brother. His hazel eyes watched Hannah like a farrow's deadly glare, the eyes held mostly grin with a twinge of yellow. His hair was the color of a burning fire and was thick covering his ears and sometimes fell over his eyes. He wore the basic trapper outfit, the animal hide outfit which was now a tan color, it went to a little ways above his knees and he wore slacks underneath that. A belt around his waist with a dagger hooked to the side.

Over his shoulder were a bow and a quiver full of arrows. Hannah hadn't seen a bow and arrows before in a long time as most men just used rifles to hunt with. She stumbled back a few more steps now as he looked inside the shrine as if to check on it.

"Little girls should not make a journey through these woods" he sighed "Haven't you heard the rumors?"

Hannah straightened out her dress before trying to stand as tall as she could, she didn't want to be seen as a little girl, she paused a second letting his question sink in before replying

"I'm not afraid of robbers" she told simply as she crossed her arms, still keeping a hold of the leash while he bag remained at her side. The man looked at her now; she could tell he was probably very experienced in these woods just by the look of him. Probably hadn't had a bath in months.

"What haunt these woods are no robbers" he snapped out as he stepped forward closer to the girl and caused Hannah to retreat a few more steps.

"… You mean that stupid rumor about a monster?" she gasped "That's not true, there is no pokemon that would do those crimes, only a crazy person would do..."

"… You're a foolish girl" he growled "What the beast does is far beyond what any man could." He paused now glancing about "You are running out of time."

Hannah tugged on her mareep's leash as she turned to head down a path "Then I should get going!" she called as she began to move away from the odd man.

"… You're going to take the long way?" he called after her as he placed his hands on his sides with an amused look in his eye. Hannah froze on the spot before she spun around quickly eyeing the young man closely.

"…long way?" she asked now and it seemed Fluff was ok with the long way as he was trying to pull the girl as far from the man as possible.

"That path weaves a nice long rounded way through these woods, a two day walk. Good for nature trails" he told as he motioned with his hand "Most of these paths are useless if you want to get through here before nightfall" he pauses looking up "Or before the first snow of winter"

Hannah stared at him a moment, she wasn't sure if she should believe him. But he looked experienced and well, he seemed to know more about these woods then any of those woodcutters or that old hag she had spoken to before entering.

"… So how do I get through here before nightfall?" she asked as she kicked Fluff a little, as he was now pulling on her skirt trying to get her to move.

"Follow me" he turned "These are my woods and only I know the fastest way through" he smirked looking over his shoulder. "Unless…you don't trust me?"



"Of course I don't, I just met you" Hannah grumbled as she pointed down at her pokemon "But if you try anything…"

"Your going to sick your pet on me?" he gave a short chuckle "Good, I like Mareep chops" he added as he began to walk away leaving the girl behind on the dirt trail.


Hannah sighed as she looked down at Fluff then back up towards the mysterious man who was vanishing from view. Then back down at Fluff, as the sheep seemed to be cranky and annoyed at how foolish his master was acting. She turned as if she was about to go down the dirt path and ignore the man's warnings but instead scooped up her small bag and turned around back towards where he had gone off path.

"Wait for me!" she called as she dashed after the trapper, she cursed her brother every time her dress caught on a branch. She saw that the man had slowed down to a stop to allow her and Fluff to catch up.

“Not many heed my warnings and follow, perhaps your not a foolish girl after all…” he turned now and began walking once more, though there was no true path he seemed to know this way so well that the branches and plants did not snare his clothing.

“… I have a name you know” Hannah grumbled, stopping shortly to get Fluff free from an attacking tree.

“Do you now?” he chuckled “And that would be?”

“Hannah, Hannah smith” She told now as she ignored Fluff bahing in annoyance now instead of anger at all the twigs getting stuck in his fur. The man didn’t look back at her as she said her name; he continued walking the unmarked trail.

“Adam. Just… Adam” he introduced himself.

“Ah, nice to meet you” Hannah mumbled now not really sure what else to say. She was beginning to feel awkward once more being around such a strange man.

Adam mumbled something but she didn’t quite catch it. The two then fell silent other then Fluff bahing regularly every couple seconds, which was getting on Hannah’s nerves.



And so the farm girl, the trapper and the Mareep journeyed deeper into the forest, the constantly night time likeness continued to cause Hannah to stumble and for her to get caught in the bushes or branches along the way. Her hair was a wreck she knew that and she probably had ticks in her hair. The time passed slowly with little conversation between her and Adam and for some reason Hannah found it nerving that he was so silent. She decided to try and break it.

“So… how long will it take to get the goldenrod?” she asked calmly as she made sure to try and walk exactly like Adam as he seemed to not be having any trouble with branches and twigs.

Adam didn’t respond right away, just looked up into the trees as he walked and when he did speak he did not answer her question.

“Hannah Smith, how long have you been in these woods? I tend to not keep track of time, it is hard when you have no sun to follow” he spoke calmly as well and placed his hand on a tree as he stopped.

Hannah thought a moment, nudging Fluff with her foot to let the sheep know it could stop walking, stupid creature. She glanced around now wondering really how long she had been in here.

“I got in here around noon… a few hours maybe…” she mumbled. She trained her eyes on Adam now as he continued looking up into the tree tops. Slowly his strange hazel eyes looked back at Hannah and she could see a slight of worry in them.

“We will not make it before sundown I believe” he said quickly and yet loudly causing Hannah to gasp a little. It was dark in here during the day; it must be pitch black at night. Adam sighed as he turned away in thought once more.

“Couldn’t we… travel at night?” Hannah asked carefully, as if she may upset the strange man. He didn’t respond right away before slowly turned his face back towards hers.

“You have heard the rumors but yet still wish to travel these woods at night? With the beast about that would be suicide. Have you not heard of the bodies that litter the edge of the forest? Men woman and children alike?” he asked her now, looking concerned and yet almost angry. His red eyebrows wrinkled and close together made him look like a sort of hoothoot.

Hannah looked as if she wanted to gag, seemed her mind was equipped with an over active imagination and it wasn’t being very helpful with the images of the slaughtered. She scratched her neck awkwardly at Adam’s words and felt as if she was being stared right through by those uneasy eyes. She was beginning to think following him was a big mistake.

“A-are you even sure… this creature… is really even a creature? Couldn’t it just be… some mad man?” she asked not sure if that would make the situation better or worse. But for some reason the idea of a beast, something that was probably faster and swifter then her or Adam in the woods sounded worse then some crazy man who lost his mind.

“No man could do what it does. No… nothing could do what it does” Adam closed his eyes and clinched his fists “Only I know the woods enough that I can pass through and live in them with ease. The beast respects my home and I respect his. He isn’t a stupid beast… just hungry.”

“You let him get away with killing people?” Hannah gasped stepping back in alarm. “Hasn’t anyone tried to stop it?”

“… If I could stop it I would. But I can not and I will not try. People have never showed me any kindness and I will not share any with them… well. The people of goldenrod have not.” He tried to give a comforting smile “If you remain with me you will be fine tell I can get you through to goldenrod in the morning… but be aware that once there I wont be able to protect you”

Hannah felt as if she had been threatened, but she shrugged it off and for some reason felt she could trust that he was not going to go off and feed her to the beast. She could almost since that he too feared the beast and was not about to help its thirst for flesh.

“But you didn’t answer my second question” she peeped up now and Adam raised an eyebrow at her. “Hasn’t anyone tried to stop it?” she asked now her hands behind her back and Fluff seeming to think that the leaf he had gotten off a bush was the greatest find in the world.

Adam sighed as he turned around “Let’s walk as we speak” he suggested as he continued the unmarked trail. Hannah took step behind him and once again had to begin to drag Fluff as he was still busy devouring a bush. After a few steps Adam began to speak once more.

“Many men have come to kill the beast, asking for my help in finding it. Sometimes they try to pay me, other times they try to force me. In the end I just point them where they may find it and go on with my business. If they force me… well it never works in there favor.” He sighed now his hands crossed. “Some come back alive with out any sign of the beast; others don’t come back at all. Its either you don’t find it and live or find it and die. Sometimes they threaten to burn the forest down. But it’s protected, you saw the temple right?” he asked now changing the subject somewhat. Hannah narrowed her eyes and nodded her head before realizing he could not see her head and answered him.

“Yes, it was to ‘a forest protector’” she replied simply not really sure what else to say. Before realizing she had no idea where they were going, they were not going to goldenrod now if they could not make it there before sunset… “Where are we going?” she asked now.

“Let me finish first before another question, girl. There is more to this then you think” he snapped out growing a little frustrated. Seemed he had a shorter temper then Hannah had thought. “Now the forest protector does not let his forest burn unjustly. Sure forest fires are natural and healthy but… destroying this whole forest would be disastrous.”

“You sure know a lot of the beast and the forest protector for being a simple trapper” Hannah commented now growing a tad suspicious of Adam. He just seemed wiser then his age to her.

“… I have been here a long time, Hannah Smith. I know things my father has taught me and I know things my mother taught me. I learned from life that nature and things beyond it are not to be messed with.” He glanced over his shoulder at her and Hannah knew it was time to change subjects.

“…well where are we-“

“To my home, I live in the center of the forest. I have boundaries set up that the beast knows to stay away from. He knows I keep the forest safe and so he allows me to stay. You will be safe there.” Pausing as a cold draft blew through the trees he sighed “I smell a frost coming”

Hannah sniffed the air, raised an eyebrow and thought simply ‘Weirdo.’



So once again the two fell silent, the walking continued for what felt like forever to Hannah and though it was all ready dark she could tell it was getting darker in the forest. She tugged Fluff along as the sheep began to whine once more about the situation he was in and how he was going to die. Of course Hannah couldn’t understand a word of the rather over emotional sheep.

Hannah paused for a second before getting back in step behind Adam, she had saw some light coming through the trees ahead and was amaze at any sun light making it through the trees at all. Adam was still silent as he headed for the light that twinkled through the forest and gave off a beautiful mystical look. The forest remained the same width though as they neared the burst of light and Hannah realized the forest didn’t thin out, it just stopped. Entering out into the open she saw that it was like a bald spot on a man’s head. A round circle where no trees grew, it was rounded and could probably fit a small house in the opening from the forest. Grass grew freely here and only little dirt patches here and there.

Hannah noticed a small hut; she probably couldn’t eve stand up inside of it. It was made from small logs from the forest and had a sloppy job of a shingled roof. No windows and no door, just a blanket hanging over the entrance. A small pipe came out from the roof showing that there must be a sort of kettle inside to burn a very, very small fire.

Beside the hut was what looked like a slanted wooden box, a second look showed that it was not a box at all but a cellar door that led into the underground where he probably store supplies for the winter.

The last thing that was a part of this odd place was that in front of the hut was a small circle of stones; it was charred inside showing a fire was often burnt there. A stack of firewood was beside the hut on the opposite side of where the cellar was. There were two logs that were beside the fire circle and then in the middle between those was a carved wooden stick that had been planted in the ground, it came up to about three feet before it had what looked like a perch for some animal.

Hannah glanced around and gave a dry look “So… this is where you live…” she said slowly before looking up into the dimming blue sky. She sighed a little, it was good to seethe sky again, she couldn’t see the sun as it was out of sight and the thick trees hid it from her view. She couldn’t really see anything at all unless she was higher up above the trees. But she did notice a few dark clouds here and there.

“This is my home” Adam said simply as he went over and grabbed some logs from the fire stack and began about to setting a fire. “You may sit if you wish. And don’t look so uneasy. I am no lustful man; I will cause you no harm. It has been while since I have had any kind guests. Don’t make me regret helping you.” As he said this Hannah had taken a seat on a log, she bent over and tied Fluff to the strange perch beside her and the sheep pokemon went about to eat the grass it could reach.

Hannah placed her bag at her side and then straightened her skirt, running a hand over her hair she withhold a grown as she pulled out twigs and leaves and knew her braid was probably coming out. She reached over and opened her bag and began to search through the little belongings she brought with her, an extra traveling dress, a Sunday dress, some food and a very small bag of money and then she finally found her hairbrush and taking that out she closed her bag.

She pulled the tie out of her braid and once undoing the hairstyle began to brush her brown locks. She didn’t notice that Adam watched this out of the corner of his eye as he worked on starting the fire, his red hair covering his watchful eyes and keeping him from being spotted by the girl. Fluff let out a bahing cry at Hannah. She continued brushing her hair with one hand Hannah reached over and pets the sheep pokemon’s head affectionately.

Now that the forest didn’t hide Fluff’s looks so much the Mareep was a soft yellow color in the thick wooly fur, the blue face and legs were a rich ocean blue while the black and yellow tail was just normal for a Mareep. Nothing was greatly special about him other then being one of the six sheep Hannah had owned and was the last she had for the others she was forced to sell.

She stopped petting Fluff and carefully begins to work on her hair again starting to put it back into the braid it was in earlier. She sighed a little as Fluff had taken her not giving him attention as an insult to him he now moved away to the other side of the perch and lay himself down in the grass. Hannah trained her eyes now on where the fire was as it had just sprung to life before her. It burned the leaves quickly and then moved onto the logs in which were placed there to feed it.

Adam was now setting up a pan and had filled it with some water, he placed it beside the fire close to it so that the water may warm but not turn to steam before he stood and walked towards the hut and opening the cellar he vanished from sight.



“Well Hannah, this is unnerving.” She whispered to herself now as she glanced around more. She felt that Adam was watching her every move and if she made one mistake she would be sent on her way. He didn’t seem like a bad person… just misunderstood and a loner. She almost felt jealous of him. He didn’t have to rely on anyone or have anyone rely on him. No one could leave him or die or vanish or abandon or whatever else that has happened to her in the past.


Hannah was a tad bitter at her brother and a tad lonely for her father and of course worried for her mother. She really was still a tad immature to be exploring the world at the age of sixteen after all. Age does not rely on maturity and maturity does not rely on age.

Just then a loud squawking sound was heard. Hannah let out a loud yelp and fell backwards off the log and onto the ground behind her. She grumbled a little as she blew her bangs out of her face and slowly rolled over onto her knees. “What was that…” she head a small tweet now and so the girl glanced up and froze a second and now realized what the perch was for.

Sitting upon it, wings folded neatly and twittering away was a flying raptor pokemon, its slender build and unique wing shape showed it was built to be fast and quick when capturing it’s pray. The head and back were covered in brown feathers while the chest and lower face were covered in an off white set of the same kind of feather. The wings were brown as well though the very tips of them held the off whiteness like the belly had. Around the eye was a black patch of feathers which directed the sunlight away from the eye when flying.

Five feathers sprouted from the birds head; they were all an off pink color and would fold up and down depending on the pokemon’s mood. The tail feathers were also this off pink color with a mixture off white color.

“A pidgeotto!” Hannah gasped as the bird pokemon let out a high pitch cry before lifting its wing and began to clean underneath it. Hannah stood slowly and eyed the bird pokemon; she had never been so close to one. It was beautiful and looked so wild and graceful. She didn’t even realize she had cupped a hand over her mouth in astonishment. While her other hand cupped her mouth, Hannah reached out with her free one and slowly moved it towards the bird. Wanting to see if she could pet it, but as she drew near to a wing the Pidgeotto’s eye glitter and with lighting fast speed it took a deep bite out of Hannah’s finger.

A second of silence followed before a loud screech came next as the farm girl jerked away and fell down once more now landing beside the startled Fluff.

“Ow! Ow! Ow! OOW!” she screamed out as she stuck her bleeding finger into her mouth. She didn’t notice that the flying raptor pokemon gave her a ‘serves you right’ look from the corner of its eye before returning to grooming its wing. Hannah continued to whine about the pained finger and Fluff joined her with his bahing. After a few more minutes she felt a hand grab her wrist which was the owner of the injured finger and jerked it out of her mouth.

“Sorry, Arrow bites strangers” Adam told as he bent down in front of Hannah and now looked at the bleeding finger. It was a bad bite, just bloody. He grabbed the pitcher of water he had used to feel the pan with and poured it over the wound before getting up and going into the hut before returning. He took a piece of cloth and wrapped it around the injured finger.

“Better?” he asked and Hannah gave him a thankful smile.

“Much.” She replied happily but it seemed Adam wasn’t paying attention anymore as he turned now and began to cut vegetables into what Hannah now guessed would be stew. The girl took her place on the log again and fell silent still a little upset at her injured finger. After a little bit and once the strew was cooking the trapper looked at her again.

“You may sleep in the hut. I will remain outdoors. Once it is morning I will rise you and we can be on our way to goldenrod.” He offered some stew now as he spoke. Hannah just nodded before noticing the nipping could around her and looked back at Adam.

“Thanks…” she said after taking the stew “But… it’s cold out here, you really going to sleep out here? You said so yourself that there is a strange beast around… I don’t think it would be fair of me to take your bed.”

Adam sighed a little and did not pour any stew for himself but sat on the opposite log and tossed a few jerky bits to Arrow.

“I have duties at night, I will not explain. But it is fine for you to sleep there and I will be fine. Don’t question my judgment, you’re the farm girl and I’m the trapper” he grumbled out seeming to be annoyed at all her questions.

“How did you know I was a farm girl?” Hannah asked surprised, if she wasn’t sure she mentioned it but still it unnerved her.

“You look like a farm girl, act like a farm girl. Smarter then one at least but yes you seem to be a farm girl in my book. Why are you going through these woods exactly?” he asked as he pulled out his dagger and began to carve a piece of wood.

“To find my stupid brother.” She grumbled “My Ma’s sick and she wants to see him again. He’s in goldenrod.”

Adam glanced up now still peeling the wood “Oh? And what is his name? Perhaps I have met him when I went there for supplies awhile back.”

Hannah took in a deep breath after she finished a bite of the rather untactful stew.
”Grant.” She answered simply now more interested in filling her hungry belly.

“Grant Smith?” Adam asked now seeming to be more interested in the conversation.

“One and the same… why?” a beam of hope shot into Hannah’s eyes. “You know him?”

After a few seconds of thought Adam shook his head, he looked down back to his simple work. “Nay, it just sounded familiar at first. But no I know no Grant.” He replied.

Hannah lowered her head in defeat and sipped some more of the stew, she had noticed though that Fluff and the pidgeotto known as Arrow seemed to be having a staring contest that was lasting far longer then expected.

After what seemed like hours but was probably a few minutes and the sunlight almost gone. Adam stood and dumped what was left of the water onto the fire after removing the stew. He stamped on the ambers and threw some dirt on it before grabbing the stew and started heading for the cellar. At this the bird pokemon Arrow let out a screech and took to the darkened sky and vanished from view. Feeling lonely now Hannah stood and untied her pokemon from the perch and smiled down at the silly little unstable emotionally sheep. “Well, maybe we should go to bed?” she offered Fluff, not wanting to leave him outside for scavenger pokemon to devour. As while he wasn’t really worth a hunt by great predators he was an easy living corpse to eat.

“Sleep well Hannah” Adam calls from across the opening in the forest before a short wave and then he vanishes into the very dark woods. Hannah could now feel eyes watching her from all around as the pokemon nightlife really hit on. The sounds of the hoothoot grew louder with shrills of oddish and some bug types. Hannah wanted to call for Adam to come back but he had all ready gone…

“Guess it’s just you and me, Fluff. Come on” she said taking her bag up into her other hand and began to head for the hut with the sheep pokemon behind her. She was just about to enter the hut when she felt a tug on the leash. Groaning at the thought of Fluff putting up a fight about getting into the hut she turned around with an evil glare ready to scold the Mareep.

But Hannah froze at the sight in front of her, she dropped her bag to the ground and clutched to the leash tightly as she gasped in horror. Before her crouched a very large and very wild white feline. She was built like a cougar and had eyes of fire. A red pearl on her forehead and ears bent back as she let out a loud hiss through her deadly teeth. In these teeth held the frail and weak neck of Fluff who was bahing weakly in pain and eyes wide with horror. Blood twinkled down from his throat.

Instinct kicked in and the sheep pokemon let off a very weak shock trying to get the Persian to release it from its deadly jaws. But the cat pokemon would not and clamped down harder until finally… a snap echoed about the forest and the sheep pokemon fell limp.

“NO!” Hannah cried, her farming girl instincts kicking in just as well as the mareep’s and she pulled on the leash of her dead pokemon. “He is MINE!” she cried as she grabbed her bag and tried to fling it at the Persian. It seemed to only anger the white cat as he now stepped forward towards Hannah. She let out a loud eek and backed away from the large cat pokemon in fear. “Go away!” she cried now. “Shoo! Or I’ll throw something at you!”

This seemed to just make the cat angrier but it paused, one ear picking up and listening before its eyes narrowed and a twinge of fear came, as its tail had puffed up much like tamed meowth do when frightened and with its kill still in its mouth the Persian ran off quickly into the bush.

Hannah let out whimper, she wasn’t sure just what happened but now… now she was truly alone. Taking her bag once more she crawled into the little hut. Her eyes stung with tears at the sight of seeing Fluff killed right before her and the young woman was feeling so lonely and lost as if everything she cared about was leaving her forever.

She found the hut smaller then she thought, with a single hay bed in one corner and a small pillow with some kind of furred blanket. In the other corner was a pitcher of water with a cup and next to that was a small burning kettle. It burned some coil and gave little warmth really, a bucket of coil beside it.

Hannah ignored this all as she just crawled onto the bed and collapsed onto it. Her eyes leaking tears now as the fatigue and emotionally draining day was starting to get to her. She pulled the furred blanket over her and even covered her head with it.

“I want to go home.” She whispered before closing her eyes and before she knew it, she had falling into an uneasy sleep.

~

As Hannah slept and dreamed of giant biting pidgeotto, zombie sheep and a red haired demon she felt someone poke her shoulder. She mumbled a little and rolled over a little facing the other way of where the poking was coming from.

“Hannah.” A small whisper spoke. “Hannah” it spoke once more still poking. Hannah finally opened her eyes and pulled down the covers looking red eyed and sleepy.

“… Adam?” she asked in surprise seeing as he had invaded her privacy so early in the morning. The red head boy had a look of concern on his face.

“You know how I said that I sensed a frost in the air?” he asked.

Hannah nodded.

“And you know that surrounding most of the forest is mountains?” he asked once more.

Hannah nodded. She didn’t understand where this was going at all.

”Then you know that there is a pass from the forest to goldenrod… a pass between two mountains that… once snowed in can’t be gotten through until it melts?”

This time Hannah shook her head in a no. Hannah now understood where this was going.

“…Well… were snowed in... were snowed into the forest.” Adam gulped now showing true sign of worry.

Hannah decided to go back to sleep no wand pretend she was dreaming.

End chapter.

Chapter two: A bed in the blizzard
 
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M

mindripper

Guest
Hey there, my main gripe would be some pretty obvious spelling mistakes and tense problems. Perhaps run it on Word to eliminate these errors?

Other than that, it was pretty good. Your prologue could have been better, and definitely could have been longer, but your first chapter was pretty good, albeit a little long, which might turn some people off. I was not too sure if the death of the Mareep was really needed, and I felt that it was not fleshed out as fully as it could and should have been.

There was some decent foreshadowing with the eccentric old fellow, and I fully expect that we will hear more on that topic, as well as that of Hannah's brother.

Wish you good luck for the next chapter!
 

Avenger Angel

Warrior of Heaven
Okay, here I am at your request. Hope this helps.

How much I liked the story: 7/10 – It’s good, it has lots of suspense and there were plenty of unexpected events that I didn’t expect to happen (like Fluff’s death for example). As for my own personal opinion, I’m honestly more into stories with a fantasy type of feel to them and have an interesting setting. Plus… don’t mind me, but I’m more into civilization settings rather than a sort of survival-type of setting. However, it doesn’t mean at all that it’s bad, that’s just me.

How much I liked your description: 8.5/10 – Great description on the characters, events, and surroundings. I easily got a good picture of what Adam looks like and what his home would look like in my imagination. Plus the way you described the events along the story really makes the story rich as opposed to making them seem robotic in a black and white world.

How much I liked your characters: 9/10 – Hannah definitely seems like a very stubborn and pessimistic character, while Adam has this aura of dubious feelings toward strangers, and has a little bit of arrogant air around him. Meanwhile, Fluff is a worrywart and very apprehensive toward new surroundings. Very valid personalities, each of them have their own character, there definitely aren’t any clones, and each character sticks to their personality without trailing off somewhere on a tangent.

How much I liked your plot and setting: 6.5/10 – Meh, don’t mind me saying so, but it does remind me of the old Ash-stuck-in-Viridian-Forest episodes of the first Pokémon series. I have seen a forest setting used tons of times, and while the implementation of it in this story is above average, it doesn’t really bring anything new to the field. As for the plot, I know it’s only the beginning of the story, but I’m hoping lots of interesting twists and turns are in store.

How much realism was in the story: 8.5/10 – It’s hard to judge this early on, but to me, it definitely seems real. Trust me, if something seriously was wildly off, I’d let you know, but as of now, everything seems in balance. Things happen for a reason and your characters don’t easily trust each other which is valid realism considering their personalities.

In closing…: – I did find a few spelling and grammar errors, maybe a run through Microsoft Word and a proofread would help clean those out for you. I’m interested to see how the story will turn out though. My main advice is to avoid making it the typical survivalist kind of story to keep it new and fresh.
 

Tale

Well-Known Member
Verry nice, Myuu. I love the title and the short piece of writing at the beginning, that is a sure way to draw people in.

Well, I am awed by its originality. Your style of writing is determined, its got a set plot and you know where you're going.

When Fluff was eaten, it certainly set the thriller aspect of the story and it was sotmach-wrenching to see that Hannah was snowed in - especially with that Adam character.

I've not much to say, at least, nothing that could compare to the detailed review above. I loved it all, so intruiging.

Carry on Myuu!
 

Lady Myuu

Damsel mostly Stressed.
big chapter aint it? Only three to go! if you enjoy my short stories (with long chapters) then let me know, I have a tredgedy story in the works that will be five chapters also.



Chapter two: A bed in the blizzard

To say Hannah was terrified would be in understatement, because she was more then that. She was trapped in a cold snow covered forest, seeming to be ripped of its life by a single fall of fluffy white blanket. She had no way to get out unless she went back the way she came; she had no way to go forward unless she became a diglett and dug her way out. This would be impossible.

She was trapped with some insane trapper (Hannah mentally kicked herself at that pun) who was never around when needed and that stupid pidgeotto seemed to want to eat her fingers every time it came around. This was not a good day for Hannah, this was not a good year, and actually this was not a good life so far.

She wondered if she could start over from day one.

The plain farm girl stood there, her boots were not made for snow and all ready they had soaked in all the white fluff as they could and now became better at holding water then keeping it out.

Hannah shivered wrapping her shawl around her tighter and realizing she really just needed a coat. But she had been foolish and forgotten it. Looking around the snow covered ground, Adam had all ready gotten a fire going. It cackled and cracked as the snow around it melted away from its heat. Deciding she should stop standing around like an idiot the girl moved over and sat on one of the logs. The farm girl gasped and jumped to her feet, she didn’t even think about the log being covered in snow and now had a rather cold rear.

Once dealing with the snow on the log she sat back down and shivered once more, she could see her breath in the air and by looking up the sky was still cloudy. It was not done snowing yet she guessed.

She glanced about herself, noticing that the pidgeotto had returned and seemed to have a successful kill of the rodent pokemon known as ratatta. Good riddance, Hannah had a disliking for mice. She rubbed her cold hands together and breathed on them, giving them short warmth that was quickly taken away by the cool wind.

Hannah’s ears caught a grunt and the farm girl looked up and blinked in surprise, she hadn’t noticed this as it had blended in with the snow very well. But a large creamy fur skin was stretched between two trees, tied to them from the legs of the once live pokemon. She paused a second realizing what it was.

A Persian pokemon...well the fur of one at least, seems Adam was a skilled hunter.

“… wow” she whispered, as the fur was very clean and seemed to be all ready drying from when it had been skinned. She looked around in wonder, trying to figure out how the skin had gotten there.

“I leave that up as a warning to the larger carnivores, only the beast may hunt these woods.” The chilled voice of the young man came; he had placed his hand on the farm girl’s shoulder and nearly startled her.

“Oooh” she gasped loudly and the warm air coming from her mouth flouted out and vanished upon impact with the cool icy air around. She did not see the amused smile dance across Adam’s face as he stood back now. He was dressed the same as yesterday though he had a brown furred coat and nice thick winter snow boots, no one can really tell the type of pokemon fur the coat was unless they knew types of fur.

“Yeah, need to let those pesky creatures know that mareep is not on the menu anymore.” He chuckled as he walked over to the skin and walked around beginning to work on the skin once more.

Hannah didn’t find that funny, she missed the sheep pokemon. While Fluff seemed rather willowing in self pity and worry he had been her companion for most of this journey, not that she had gotten very far. But she didn’t really blame the trapper boy, Adam, for Fluff’s death. She had so far planned several swats with a wooden spoon for her dear disappearing brother… when she found him.

So once more silence took the two and nothing could be heard accept for the scraping of the knife against the skin. Hannah could not see Adam’s face behind it and part of her was glad of that, while she didn’t feel afraid of him, he was just creepy. She glanced about her in the boredom now, wondering what she could do to aid the young man who was letting her stay here while the snow kept her away from the great city of goldenrod.

Just as she thought about returning to the hut Adam showed his young freckled face from behind the fur. “I’m about to go check the traps. Since it seems we are going to be stuck together tell the snow thaws some, I will show you how to check the traps and take whatever they catch. I can always use help with that.”

Hannah was startled by this, so he wasn’t just going to let her dwindle off his supplies for the winter, part of her dreaded the thought of having to deal with capturing and harming pokemon. But she was a farm girl, even if she was mainly for crops and wool from herd pokemon. She knew that death was needed for survival and that survival would only come with death.



She still didn’t like the idea.

But she stood up all the same, dusted herself off and gave a brave look before it faltered as she shivered. Hannah decided when she became rich she was NEVER going outside again. Then she realized she probably would never be rich.

“Are you just going to stand there all day, farm girl?” Adam laughed as he walked over picking up his bow and arrows once more. Hannah scowled as she slowly moved over and shivered again as she came up beside the trapper boy.

“Your going to catch a cold dressed like that you know.” The young man commented but didn’t seem to be joking around this time, seeming almost concerned. Or maybe it was the fact he didn’t want to lose his new little helper.

“… I was hoping to get to Goldenrod before the snow.” Hannah mumbled and scuffed at the ground. “I didn’t have the money for a new coat.”

“Or proper shoes?” he grumbled as he turned and headed for the side of the hut where the cellar was.

“… My ma is sick, my brother is gone. You really think I girl like me could hold up a farm AND buy nice things?” Hannah snapped out, she hated to admit that she couldn’t care for herself and the farm. But it was the truth and there was nothing she could do about it.

Adam vanished into the cellar with out a word; his red hair was the last thing the girl saw before he appeared again and tossed two furry what looked like giant socks at her.

“What are these?” Hannah gasped poking at it with a near by stick, as they looked almost alive and she was afraid they might decided to eat her fingers, as most creatures in these woods seemed to want.

“I made ‘em, old but they still work. Take off your boots and socks as I am sure they are soaked and just wear those. They keep the snow out and the feet warm.” He told and Hannah quickly obeyed, she sitting once more and slipping her soggy boots and socks off and sliding the strange wooly yet water tight skin on the inside boots on. She placed her boots and socks on the rocks near the fire, so they may dry.



“I don’t have a spare coat, so you’re just going to have to bare the cold.” Adam shrugged as the trapper turned and began to walk away. Hannah grumbled as she stood and dashed after the trapper before he was lost in the woods. She took close step beside him as the two began to walk silently. As it seemed Adam loved silence more then he did his tacky clothing choice.

Hannah had to admit he wasn’t a bad looking fellow, could use a hair cut, manners and a new fashion sense. And the whole living alone in creepy woods thing needed to go as well and perhaps he could make a nice gentleman.

The farm girl blinked realizing what she was thinking about and gave her mind a mental kick and telling it sharply to shut up about turning wild trapper boys into fashionable snobby rich men who wouldn’t give her the light of day.

On second guess she liked Adam more this way then a rich lad. He could be a little less creepy.

Hannah was going into a daze, and had not noticed that Adam had stopped walking until she walked straight into him. He stumbled a little forward while Hannah nearly fell over beside him. But Adam was swift and caught her by the arm and balanced her before letting go. A loud screeching cry filled the air and Hannah felt the hair’s on her neck stand on end, then realized that Adam’s hair was flouting a little. She looked around for the source of the unnatural occurrence and soon found it.

The cry was coming from a small yellow creature, small and weak looking, and its yellow cheeks fizzling with strange lightening power as the rodent pokemon gave what seemed to be a mouse version of a growl. Its lightening tail twitched and the wild creature tried to bolt only to slam into the cage walls. It was a simple trap, made of wood and coated in some kind of paint that prevented the pikachu from chewing through the bars as the taste would be unbearable and would numb its tongue.

Hannah felt pity for the cute small creature, as unlike ratattas and its evolved form, the yellow lightening rodent always tended to find a soft spot in most girls’ hearts. Piakchu was one of the only rodent pokemon Hannah could really stand to be around.

The farm girl hadn’t noticed the fact Adam had taken out his dagger or was approaching the poor mouse pokemon. But she did notice when the pokemon began to charge a thunder shock. Adam was swifter though, skilled in this kind of dealing with his game and all ready knew that the pokemon was too weak from the struggle all night to really harm him.

The pikachu released its fury and the shocks initiated spreading the heavenly fury out. Hannah let out a short scream that quickly ended about as soon as the attack. It fizzled and zapped but soon just died before it could do any damage to anyone. Seemed the special cage knew how to hold its victims.

“Pika…” the small rodent cried in fear as it’s black beady eyes grew wide as panic set in and the pikachu attempted another bolt only to be stopped once more by the bars. Adam was now upon the cage and with a swift stab at the right angle the rodent fell limp. Its side been cut clean through and the blood glazed the weapon and the fur.



Hannah whimpered and closed her eyes, her hands clasping over her face. She had seen cat pokemon kill, she has seen hunters shoot but she had never been so close to such a killing before. It was unnerving. Unnatural to her at first really, even though she knew it was needed for survival.

“It’s alright, I was quick enough, only felt pain for a second” Adam’s voice came in comfort as he held the kill up by the tail before adding it to a rope and slung the dead animal over his shoulder.

“I-I can’t kill.” Hannah whispered out, her eyes teary at the thought. She had just lost her dear Fluff, how did he expect her to do this?

“You don’t have too, just check the traps, and tell me which ones are worth a look. If one is empty then tell me and I’ll come reset it later. This is the first track on the trail, you can follow the trail just by following the marked trees.” He stepped closer to Hannah and held out his dagger, the brown haired farm girl looked up at him before slowly taking it.

“What is this for?” she asked his, her voice stuttering a little.

“Protection for you. All I need are these.” He shrugged his shoulder meaning his arrows and bow. Hannah bit her lower lip, wondering if she could really use this if she needed too.

“… When can we get to Goldenrod?” she asked, her eyes looking down at the blood still on the dagger.

“When the forest protector allows the snow to melt some,” Adam turned and began to walk away, “And only then.”

Hannah raised her hand after him, not wanting him to just leave her like this. Expecting her to figure this all out right now, but she couldn’t follow him now. She didn’t want him to get annoyed with her and toss her out on her own. This forest all ready seemed to have enough dangers, she didn’t want to be alone.

And so the inexperienced farm girl began to walk, her arms crossed and clutching the dagger with one hand. A small snow was all ready starting to fall, faint and barely noticeable. But snow was there. Hannah cursed it every time a snowflake flouted past her face, blaming it and her brother for all of this. How she loathed him so much, how she loathed snow so much. How she wished she could just destroy both by hitting them with a wooden spoon.

And so Hannah moved along, most of the traps she found were empty and she remembered the ones that had any, though while the traps could hold small mammal pokemon, seemed Oddish knew how to escape and most insect pokemon. They probably weren’t very tasty anyway. Hannah began numbering them so that she could easily explain which ones had something of use in them.

Though Hannah had recently come across a trap with an oddish and she had been greatly disturbed when an oddish gave her such a look that she felt death itself would be upon her if she stayed around the strange little weed. Hannah shivered remembering the look that pokemon had given her, almost like she had betrayed it to a fate worse then death. Seemed it could not escape the trap like the others seemed to have.



Then again she doubted they would really kill it, can anyone really eat oddish anyway? Wouldn’t that be like eating grass? Hannah shook this train of thought from her mind as she leaned against a marked tree. It was an old dead thing, looked like it was ready to be cut down soon. Hannah soon realized that almost every tree that had a mark was either dead, a stump or withering. She blinked pondering this as she leaned over to a more alive tree and began to poke at it with her dagger.

She was thinking of Adam, the Persian fur and just little random things as she continued to poke at the tree, carving a small ‘Kill brother’ into it as she thought about how much she really was angry with Grant, that stupid brother of hers. The snow had grown a tad thicker now and she was thinking of turning back, but now was too caught up in her carving to really move.

It was cold; moving in snow wasn’t very fun.

She sighed as she finished the last part of the word ‘brother’ before she felt a sharp clutch on her shoulder and the girl let out a loud long scream as she was jerked and jammed up against the dead marked tree. Her eyes fluttered a moment before focusing on the eyes glaring down at her like a bird of prey swooping down on its victim.

The yellow/green eyes glared as Hannah gasped, feeling cold metal against her neck. She whimpered now letting out a small “Adam?”

Indeed it was the trapper, his angry glare digging into the farm girl’s very soul. His grip around her arm was tight as he held the dagger; the very one Hannah had been using moments ago against the tree. He was holding it up against her small neck, nearly breaking the skin.

“… Don’t. Hurt. The. Trees.” He growled deeply, “They are not your normal tree. Harming those hurts far more then you can ever imagine!” he pulled back and let Hannah go. He stood there glaring down at her as she sunk down against the trunk tears streaking her face in fear and horror at the near death experience.

“I… I… didn’t know…” she whimpered, her body pushing against the dead trunk behind her so hard as if she wanted to be one with the tree. She looked at Adam with such fear that his eyes began to soften with regret.

He stepped forward and Hannah winced, turning her face away and tried to bite back a sob. He paused a second before bending down in front of her.

“Hannah…” Adam whispered in a small calming voice. The farm girl slowly looked at him, she was still very much afraid though. “It is ok…please stop crying. I won’t hurt you, I promised I wouldn’t.” he placed the dagger back into his belt and slowly took one of Hannah’s cold hands into his gloved ones. Her lip quivered as she looked at him, tears staining her eyes still.

“You… you scared me.” Was all the young farm girl could get out, as she had never been so frightened in her life. Not even when the Persian last night attempted to attack her.

“…There are things here, Hannah, old ancient things only I understand. I can explain some but it would take years to explain them all. Just… from now on just check the traps and do nothing more alright?” Adam whispered to her, pulling her up with him and clutching her hands tightly, trying to warm them.

Hannah nodded slowly, she shaking now but she wasn’t as afraid of him. She didn’t trust him again but… she wasn’t at the point of fear anymore. Maybe it was his voice or his eyes but something kept her from being fully afraid.

He let go of one hand, keeping a grip of the other as he realized he really did give her a bad scare and wanted to show he wasn’t so heartless. He turned and slowly began to lead her back to camp, the two silent once more as it seemed to be the best comfort either of them could offer.

For the farm girl no longer trusted and the trapper was beginning to fear.

But his fear was for something far different then Hannah could expect.

Hannah looked up at Adam and noticed… the side of his neck had a sharp cut to it and was bleeding rather strongly.

End part one

Part Two



Days began to pass, days much like the last, but with out the threatening and fear. Time passed slowly in a moment but quickly in a second. As though the days seemed long the weeks seemed quicker. Like waking up to find that the work load of a week was finished all too fast and yet moments before it seemed all to slow.

Time was silly like that sometimes or perhaps only because it was in this old forest?

A certain farm girl sat upon a certain log on the dusk of a day beside a warm glowing fire. She held an all too common stew with an all too common smile on her face as she spoke gently to a common trapper with a strange twist.

He sat there dealing with something she really didn’t know; perhaps he was carving something as he often did, Playing with a piece of wood with his dagger.

Hannah took another bite of stew, her eyes seeming to be unfocused on the trapper, on which she had learned many things about the forest. Like how it seemed to breath and speak about when one stood still. Or the fact that no matter what time of day it was, there was always something doing something, either the wind was blowing or a pokemon was gathering. How some trees were so old and ancient that they felt pain and thought, gain and loss. This forest was far more then any woodcutter could tell anyone.

In fact only Adam knew its secrets.



“Tell me Adam, I’ve told you so much about where I come from and where I am going… but you have never told me anything about you, Just about your woods.” Hannah spoke as she looked up from her stew finally.

The red head trapper seemed startled, while Hannah had gotten to know he was a joker at heart and seemed to enjoy just a little company, she knew very little about why he lived out here alone.

“Me? What would a farm girl want to know about a trapper?” He pointed out as he seemed far more interested in his carving of the abused stick.

“Oh lots of things, like where do you come from, what were your parents like, do you have any siblings. Were you bred a trapper or did you take it up later?” she listed her questions as she placed her soup down beside her, ignoring the fact that Arrow the pidgeotto had hopped down and now seemed to decide that the stew belonged to her.

Adam stuttered a moment, a first for him as he always seemed to know what to say, when he had something to say. “I was raised a trapper, yes. My father taught me… I come from… Goldenrod.” He paused not sure if he really wanted to answer the other questions then decided he did not and fell silent once more.

Hannah blinked a moment, realizing this was all he was going to tell her and eyed her friend a moment.

“Perhaps you can help me then, you know I’ve never been to the great city of goldenrod, I could use a guide.” The thought of leaving her new found friend wasn’t an easy one on her. Though it took her awhile to begin to trust him again she soon found that he just simply loved the forest more then anything.

If she respected the forest, he would respect her.

Adam quickly shook his head, “I won’t ever go there anymore. The place is a mess, Full of drunks and hookers and messy things. There is a reason why I am out here; the world is just not a place for someone like me.”

“…Someone like you? You are a good hearted man, Adam, strong and wise. Far wiser then your age it seems. My brother could use a little bit of wisdom.”

A small blush crossed Adam’s features as he sat there in silence before letting out a deep sigh. “I have my reasons, Hannah.”

“… Why can’t you tell me? Is it something dreadful? Your not some kind of thief or killer or something?” she giggled as a joke but the look Adam gave her startled her.

“… Your no-“

“NO!” Adam snapped out “I’m nothing like that, I just… get nervous around a lot of people. I say things or do something that can get me in a lot of trouble.”

Hannah gave a sigh of relief, she was afraid he really was some kind of criminal. She sat there in silence as well as Adam. He only ever spoke like he has been lately at dinner time. The only time he really is around. Hannah was still unsure of where he slept as it seemed he never wanted to go into the hut.

Snow still littered the ground and she wondered if he was some kind of fairy or elf, able to handle any weather. Of course Hannah didn’t believe that sort of thing. Well, mostly.

“Adam…” Hannah spoke out now, catching the attention of the trapper.

“Yes, farm girl?” he responded.

“…Thanks.” She mumbled now, looking down at her clutched hands.

As if he knew what she was saying thanks for, he smiled “No problem.” As he said this the young man stood and walked away, towards the side of the hut. He grabbed some more fire wood and soon returned dumping it into the fire and poked it some with a stick before he moved again and headed for the cellar.

“What are you doing?” Hannah called turning around as curiosity got the best of her.

“Getting something,” Adam replied simply and didn’t saw anything more as he vanished into his dark cellar. Hannah never went down there, she just felt like it was his place. He prepared the food down there; she guessed he probably even slept down there. The red headed boy soon returned and clutched something in his arms, it was wrapped in brown paper and Hannah gave a curious look at what it could be.

“Here.” She felt the package dropped onto his lap and she blinked in surprise looking up at the slightly red faced Adam. Hannah then looked down at the package and smiled a little, she had not received a present in so long. It felt good to be worthy of one once more.

“Well? Are you going to open it or not?” Adam poked out as he sat on the same log Hannah was sitting on. The farm girl looked at him, she could see wonder on his face, he wanted to see what she thought of whatever it was.

So slowly Hannah began to deal with the string that kept the wrapping together, and when she found it to hard to untie began to pull at it like a child on Christmas day. Tugging and ripping until she got that entire horrid restraining device known as wrapping away from the gift within. The farm girl gasped as her fingers danced across soft fuzzy surface. The white creamy fur of the thick and lovely coat, she long sleeves that seemed far longer then her arms would need. It would go down past her rear end for sure when she put it on and it had a hood, not just a hood but it was shaped like the skull of the Persian, much like a wolf pokemon skin, such as a mighteyna coat would look. The top of the mouth would hang over the forehead giving a look as if the beast was about to devour the person wearing it. And yet it was still very lovely and rich looking.

Adam for sure could catch a good price for this fine craftsman ship. Even the red pearl was still on the cat’s forehead.

“Oh… oh wow… wow, wow, and wow.” Hannah whispered as she continued to feel the silky fur. She couldn’t take her eyes away from this new gift at first, before she had to close them as they filled with tears. “Thank you… thank you very much… this is so beautiful.”

Adam shrugged, though his face about as red as his hair. “It was nothing, easy job… couldn’t let a farm girl freeze cause she couldn’t stand a little cold…” the trapper froze unable to continue teasing out of embarrassment as he now had that very farm girl clinging to him in a tight hug.

“I haven’t had a gift like this… since… my pa died” she whimpered out a little, trying to keep the tears back.

Adam’s eyes softened a little, he was growing attached to his new companion, she was a charming girl and for some reason could make him smile by just being the naïve thing she is. But he couldn’t grow attached; he couldn’t show that he liked company.

“…Now don’t go getting all teary eyed on me, lady. We only just met.” He joked, “A little soon for a hug isn’t it?”

Hannah pulled back looking slightly hurt at first before nodding, she knew that though she saw Adam was a soft of family she couldn’t let her emotions overrun her, she was a lady after all. And Ladies don’t go round hugging strange trapper boys.

But all the same Hannah hugged the coat against her as if she was hugging the boy.

“Thank you… thank you, thank you!” she chimed with great glee. Adam just gave a small smile before telling the overly happy farm girl to try it on.

Hannah jumped to her feet quickly and easily slipped the coat on, instantly she felt more warmth coming then going and she seemed to just melt inside the white furred blanket around her.

“Sleeves are a’ little long, stubby arms.” Adam said tugging on one of her sleeves and received a fake harsh look from the girl before she stuck out her tongue.

“I like it, its perfect. Mine!” she declared and turned away dashing for the hut. Adam laughed at her as she went inside and peeked out playfully.

“Time for bed it seems.” Adam spoke as he stood and stretched, “I have one miner chore to do before bed time anyway.”

Hannah awed a little, “Why can’t we just stay up the whole night and then sleep all day? Can’t you take one day off?”

Now it was Adam’s turn to give the harsh look and shook his head, “Nay, Hannah. You know very well how I work. I don’t take days off when work is to be done. It isn’t proper.”

“… You’re going to make a woman a very nice husband someday.” Hannah commented before vanishing inside the hut and living the stunned Adam to think over those words. The red head looked up into the clear sky, turning darker by the minute as the sun fades away.

“…Seems tomorrow will be a warm day.” He whispered, “I should end this lie while I still have the chance.”







The black sky grew lighter, turning into the dark blue then the soft colors of purple and pink, these gentle colors faded into red and orange and soon back into a soft baby blue which took the whole sky into one solid formation of the blue. The night time forest life began to dim, as the sun rose the trees could not hold out all the light, being mostly bare of there protective leaves.

The hoothoot fell silent and the oddish vanished back into there slumber, the creatures of day began to emerge with yawns and tired eyes, another long day of gathering in the cold bitter snow. Will they find any food? Will they be caught in a snare? Will they see tomorrow? Such is the life of a mere forest pokemon…

But for a farm girl, the day was simply lovely, she stood there, wearing the wooly boots she had been given oh so long ago and her new white Persian coat, though it seems she never took it off. She nuzzled deeper into it, half her face vanishing inside the fluff, her rosy cheeks and bright green eyes glancing about her.

“What a lovely morning” she chimed looking up at the blue sky, the clouds gone from sight and all she could see was the blue and the tips of mountain tops. So the farm girl went about doing her chores, well the chores she set up for herself as the only ones Adam had given her was checking the traps. She noticed the snow was more like mush and wasn’t as thick before but it really didn’t click with her anymore then that. Hannah took some of the firewood from the stack and placed it in the ash circle and went about starting it.

Adam usually showed up to get out something for breakfast, but so far no sign of him. Hannah ignored this though, she had some bead still left in the hut and it could tie her over tell lunch. She felt so much better in her new fur coat, it kept her very warm and made her feel safe, like she was protected by it. Or maybe it was the fact a boy had given it to her, she had never received a gift from a boy before, well not counting her family.

The minutes wore on into hours and it was near noon and still no sign of her trapper boy, Hannah was growing slightly worried but decided she needed to go check the snares and began to prepare herself for the trek through the specially marked paths. Hannah strapped the small dagger (another one Adam gave her) to her boot and was about to walk off down the path when a voice called to her.


”Your going the wrong way, farm girl.” Called the trapper to her, Hannah blinked and turned around looking at the red head with surprise. He was always wearing the same outfit, though she soon found out he owned several and he made most himself.

“Um, I always go this way to check the traps, Adam.” She called back as she turned around the rest of the way and rested her hands on her hips. “Where have you been anyway? Had me worried”

“These woods are my home Hannah, I don’t have to come back here everyday. I can survive awhile out there.” He replied. He stood there looking rather plain and simple, his face not showing any emotion other then contentment. Hannah noticed this, he usually looked amused or cocky or being a know it all.

“Well I know but you usually...” she trailed off twiddling her thumbs.

“Lets go.” He turned and began to walk away; the opposite way that Hannah was bout to go. She gave an alarmed look and dashed off after him.

“Where too?” she called out, as she began to catch up to the trapper boy.

Adam continued his walk as he answered, “Goldenrod.”

Hannah froze; she didn’t dare take another step. “It… it’s clear?” she asked alarmed. She had almost forgotten what would happen when it was clear, all this seemed like a dream. One of those adventures that most children dream about but never get to have… and it was almost over. Hannah thought about what to say now but she just remained planted there.

Adam glanced back at her, his green/yellow eyes watching her closely before he sighed. “I’m not really sure yet. But the snow has melted some, if we can get there before another storm hits or it gets colder, it should be clear. I think. It’s been awhile.” He told turning around a little more to look at the still Hannah. Finally the farm girl spoke, in a shaky whisper.

“I need to get my things…” and she turned around and made her way back to the hut. A few moments later the farm girl and the trapper boy were walking on one of the many marked trails. While Adam seemed to be content and said nothing, Hannah had mixed feelings. Part of her was glad to be moving on, this whole thing had been weird and frightening to her. But then again it was adventurous and like a fairy tale. She was living a life away from real worry, like the life she held before this one no longer mattered. She wasn’t obliged to find anyone or help anyone. Just live off the land and well… live.

But reality had come back, her worry for her sick mother soaked back into her thoughts and guilt set in too. She told herself if the path was clear, she would find her brother as quick as possible and drag him back by his ear. No more stalling… no more lying to herself.

This was not her life to live, this was Adam’s world. She was just a guest…

The farm girl pondered this, she wasn’t even really paying attention to where she was walking or how long it was taking, just heading the way she was supposed to and following after the trapper. The snowy ground was mushy and mud was underneath making her boots dirty, the trees were still a little icy but the crunching sound they made, made Hannah know they were thawing slowly. Maybe it was almost spring time, but then she surely has not been here that long right? No, it was just one of those warmer winter days.

Hannah looked up at Adam now, the silent young man walked strongly and a little faster then Hannah. She was thinking about her new friend she had found in him, how he had come across as a cocky yet secretive boy and now she thought of him as a wise and goofy lad who enjoyed the company of few and never many.

She paused a second but soon got back into step as she saw two large mountain cliffs growing closer together, it was like an open pass in which the two points touched each other and underneath was a long pass of rock walls on each side.

Now as the two approached this pass between forest and city Adam began to slow his step as he stared. Hannah blinked as she glanced up as well to see exactly what had caught his attention. Between the pass, where the path was leading too, was a large snowy wall. It was dripping and lower then it seemed to be but it still kept them from passing through. Hannah didn’t know how to react, she was just getting used to the idea of going back onto her journey for her brother and now she would have to wait tell this melted.

“Crud.” Whispered Adam, “DARNIT!” he declared now as he glared at the snowy wall as if it would melt if he stared hard enough. Hannah stood back a little, as it seemed Adam was very upset at this. Did he really want to get rid of her so fast? Just last night they were laughing and enjoying each other’s company. He had even made this fur coat for her… and this is how he really feels?

Poor Hannah was very confused as she stood there, her eyes watering up a little. It seemed no one wanted her around or left her, first her father died, then her brother left… her mother grows ill and now she knew found friend just wanted to get rid of her. Adam sighed as he looked back at Hannah and paused a second, seeming to be about to growl something before a look of worry crossed his face.

“Farm girl?” he asked turning towards her and tilting his head like a puppy. “Hannah? I’m sorry I can’t get you to goldenrod… don’t cry its going to be ok.” He comforted a little, looking unsure of how to handle this situation. Hannah bit her lip a little looking up at Adam with her teary gaze.

“You just want to get rid of me. Am I really that much of a nuisance to you, Trapper?” She snapped out. Her fists clinching in anger “You could have just told me you didn’t want me around. I could have gone back and stayed in the village by the forest.”

Adam looked confused; he didn’t understand why Hannah thought he was trying to get rid of her. He blinked realizing how he had been acting lately and snatched one of her hands into his, the one not holding her bag.

“Hannah. I am not trying to get rid of you because of anything you have done. You are a nice girl. I am trying to protect you. The beast and I might get along but… game grows scarce and I don’t want him to think you’re his next meal.” He told her as he clasped her hand tightly in his, “If the weather keeps up like this. Then the snow may be melted by tomorrow. Lets head back, we must get there before nightfall.”



Hannah nodded, sniffling a little before looking up at the trapper boy and gave him a quick hug before returning to his side. Adam stood stunned for a moment before slowly he began to walk with the farm girl beside him. He didn’t really understand what the hug was for, perhaps Hannah just wanted to feel safe once more with the boy and not so… betrayed. He felt bad that she had to feel that way, but then again it might be better for her if she didn’t grow attached to him. Mix feelings are the worse…

The farm girl was quiet as she walked beside Adam who had also fallen very quiet; Hannah looked up and noticed how quickly the clouds had rolled in. It seemed that Adam had jinxed them as the clouds hung low and the temperature was starting to drop. The forest grew quiet, not a life could be seen, and it was a bad sign that storm was brewing. Hannah heard Adam curse a little as he kept a close eye on the sky. He was beating himself up inside;

Leaving at lunch time to come all the way out to the edge of the forest was a foolish idea. As while one could easily make it out of the forest from the center of it by then they could not double back before nightfall when they left at half a day.

Hannah slowed a little, tired from all ready so much walking and now they had to make it all the way back before nightfall? Impossible, it was near sunset anyway, how did Adam expect her to make it all the way back that quick with out dying or worse? Eaten? The trapper noticed how Hannah had slowed and he reached back grabbing her arm. The girl blinked up at him but he didn’t look at her, just wrapped her arm around his.

And with a serious tone he spoke “We must hurry, farm girl.” His face held such seriousness and worry that Hannah did not protest, she could feel his whole arm shaking now, was he afraid? Was this brave boy who lived on his own really… afraid?

Hannah bit her lip a little, if he was afraid that gave good reason for her to be afraid. He lived here, he wouldn’t be afraid of his home unless it was truly something to fear right? The brown haired farm girl muffled a gasp as a cold icy drop hit the side of her face, looking up she noticed many white puffs falling from the sky and blowing in a strengthening wind. A small snow was starting to fall.

She heard Adam curse loudly and it was a word that no one should really say in front of a lady, which gave Hannah a cherry red blush. either from the word or the cold. Not only did the snow and wind begin to grow thicker and stronger but the sky darker and darker, the light being sucked away by the storm. Finally Adam stopped and looked up and his lips frowned his red eyebrows growing closer together as snow caught in his hair. The red headed trapper took Hannah’s arm from his and side as he held her hand and patted it with another.

“This is where we part.” He explained, “It is almost dark and I can not remain with you. The Beast would find us to easily then.” His concerned hazel eyes looking into Hannah’s causing her to almost glance away.

“… But what about you?” she asked now, worried that he was going to do something stupid. Something she would probably do if she was in his position. Why did everyone have to pull a Hannah move? She was supposed to be the one to do the foolish things…

Adam gave the best comforting smile he could, which turned more into a false wrinkled thing that really didn’t make a very good smile. “I’ll be fine, the beast shouldn’t harm me…” he glanced away toward the marked trees of the path. “Just follow the marked trees and you should find your way back within an hour or so.”

Hannah nodded slowly, giving another concerned look at Adam as she did not like the idea of splitting up just before dark. He sighed as it seemed she was not going to let go of him anytime soon. So he pulled her close and returned the huge she had given him earlier. While Hannah was stunned by the embrace he parted quickly and began to walk away leaving Hannah still for am moment. Then the farm girl began to move slowly before she went into a run, her fear tripled by the thought of being in the forest at night.

She ran… pulling her coat up around her and ignoring how her boots seemed to losing there waterproof ness and allowing some cold melted snow to enter. She stayed close to the trees, touching the ones with marks to make sure they were real. Her mind raced with regret and fear, worry and loneliness…

And a little bit of hope on the side.

The snow swirled about the woods, the bare trees creek and ache as there branches are tossed and turned. There sides getting frost bitten as the snow beat against them like a never ending waterfall of ice. The small form of the girl could barely be seen now as the snow had grown thicker as if trying to slow her, trying to cause her to fail.

Hannah shuffled her feet now, trying to inch them through the thickening snow on the ground, she had her head as low into the coat as she could bringing it up higher. Her green eyes searched each tree, looking for that mark that told her she was on the right path. That mark… she just saw it moments ago.



That mark… where was it?



“…Crud. Cruddy crud, crud.” She whimpered out now placing her hand on a bar tree, no mark. How could she get off the path so easily? The snow had confused her so much she had lost herself all ready. “… Adam?” she looked about, “Help?” what was there for her to do? She turned and started back, looking for another tree with a mark and hopefully could find the path once more.

The snow danced about her, tugging on her coat and her dress, pulling her hair free so it could dance about with the wind in a dangerous dance with an icy death. She now dragged her feet along, her eyes barely stayed open as it was so cold that it hurt. The snow beat against her face like ice sickles and the wind hurt her ears. The farm girl stepped and slipped sliding down a small grove and into a near by tree, Hannah was only able to give a short scream before the air had been knocked out of her. She whined a little, now that snow had invaded her clothing and was chilling her to the bone.

“Stupid Hannah… should have stayed with Adam.” She told herself over and over as she attempted to stand; she slipped once more and fell against the tree. A desperate voice in her head told her she had to keep moving, that staying still to long would be the worse thing for her to do. That if she didn’t get up now, she never would.

But another voice entered her mind, telling her how tired she was, how her body was so cold. How a nap would cure everything. Hannah wanted to get up, but she wanted to stay too, wanted to rest a bit. Perhaps just a short rest then gets moving again. Gather the strength she had… before the cold took it. Hannah closed her eyes, snowflakes sticking to her eye lashes and hair. She wrapped her arms around herself and gave a small “Adam?” once more, wanting something to come and tell her to get up.

“… Grant? … Mom?” she mumbled out, her mind slowly going fuzzy as the cold was just unbearable. Part of her body demanded her to stand but she ignored it, as the cold icy sleep began to seep over her slowly and soon Hannah was out.

Minutes began to pass; the blizzard spun and turned covering the body with an icy white blanket. The breathing grew shallow the heart slowly… the life fading. Two large arms came down and scooped the form up into a furry chest. Yellow eyes watched slowly as the girl turned in the arms and gripped some of the warmth, nuzzling into it like a blanket. The form turned and began to walk, large long steps with an inhuman grace to them.

“… Warm…” was all the farm girl could muster before all her strength was gone.



End Chapter.
 

IceKing

Sexorific!
Oh snap! Lady Myuu is a mod now! *is nervous* Here is my review to you, o great being of light and beauty! And here is my sacrifice *plops dead Mareep at your feet* Oh and it was Lady UMBRA with the Zubat fic

Chapter One:

ilex forest

Captilize

Though most of the trees were pine, those that were not had golden or red leaves. None had really fallen yet, and if they had, it would make little difference as the tree were so thick and branches so many that still the sun would find it a maze to get through.

Ok, I'm quitting right now with the grammar mistakes. Just be sure to check VERY carefully Lady Myuu dear! If you do want me to correct or beta, I will be more than happy to!

The farm girl could not recall how long she had been in the woods, as being unable to see the sun she was really unsure if it was night or day. But she was praying it was still day as she had been warned to get through before nightfall.


Perhaps this is why its called Into the Woods?

in fact they were not really invented yet,

What time period is this?

Hannah sniffed the air, raised an eyebrow and thought simply ‘Weirdo.’

I second that. You did Adam's charachter very well, he's even creeping me out!



Overall, pretty good chapter. I like the way you set the mode and your tone, feels very "dank" and a bit ominious. All this talk about the beast has got me wondering, I'm wondering if it has to do with the Celebi movie I never saw? All this beast talk is also a bit cliched as well, but I refuse to judge until I see it myself. I'm a bit unnerved by the fact this fic is only going to be 5 chapters long. It took me quite some time to read this, not nessecarily because of the length but more because of the pacing, which I felt was quite good. The major gripe is obviously the spelling and grammar mistakes, which there are quite a lot of. PLEASE PROOFREAD CAREFULLY! Or get a beta... The Ilex Forest was done very well, though its a lot more scarier than I ever imagined, I always expected it to be nice and peaceful. Poetic liscence I suppose. The Persian dragging off mareep was the best scene, though where was Adam in all that? And I would have expected a bigger reaction than a simple whimper. But I suppose their relationship wasn't all that great concidereing how this is pre-pokeball age. Adam was also a very mysterious and welldone charachter, defientely my favorite part of this new chapter. I was confused at the ending though, why exactly are the stuck?


Here is my review offering oh great Lady Myuu! I hope you like it...*backs away slowly*
Now...time to review chapter two XD

Chapter Two:

big chapter aint it? Only three to go! if you enjoy my short stories (with long chapters) then let me know, I have a tredgedy story in the works that will be five chapters also.

I have short stories going on as well! Though they don't have super long chapters, but WIQ does! Reading this fic is finally showing me how my readers must feel reading me XD


She was trapped with some insane trapper (Hannah mentally kicked herself at that pun) who was never around when needed and that stupid pidgeotto seemed to want to eat her fingers every time it came around.

XD I <3 this sentence

Hannah didn’t find that funny, she missed the sheep pokemon. While Fluff seemed rather willowing in self pity and worry he had been her companion for most of this journey, not that she had gotten very far.

Now I understand the Mareep's fear was foreshadowing of its death...

Hannah had to admit he wasn’t a bad looking fellow, could use a hair cut, manners and a new fashion sense. And the whole living alone in creepy woods thing needed to go as well and perhaps he could make a nice gentleman.
Shipping hint, perhaps?

“Pika…” the small rodent cried in fear as it’s black beady eyes grew wide as panic set in and the pikachu attempted another bolt only to be stopped once more by the bars. Adam was now upon the cage and with a swift stab at the right angle the rodent fell limp. Its side been cut clean through and the blood glazed the weapon and the fur.

A Pikachu...dying? YOU FREAKING ROCK!!! I LOVE YOU!!!

“Hannah…” Adam whispered in a small calming voice. The farm girl slowly looked at him, she was still very much afraid though. “It is ok…please stop crying. I won’t hurt you, I promised I wouldn’t.” he placed the dagger back into his belt and slowly took one of Hannah’s cold hands into his gloved ones. Her lip quivered as she looked at him, tears staining her eyes still.

Awwww

Hannah looked up at Adam and noticed… the side of his neck had a sharp cut to it and was bleeding rather strongly.

I love how you end on cliffhangers

Adam’s eyes softened a little, he was growing attached to his new companion, she was a charming girl and for some reason could make him smile by just being the naïve thing she is. But he couldn’t grow attached; he couldn’t show that he liked company.

*points* HES A BIG TEDDIURSA INSIDE!

The black sky grew lighter, turning into the dark blue then the soft colors of purple and pink, these gentle colors faded into red and orange and soon back into a soft baby blue which took the whole sky into one solid formation of the blue.

Too many colors at one time X_X



Overall, this was definetely without a doubt the best chapter yet. There arent as many grammar mistakes, the description is wonderful, the themes (mainly death for survival) are coming out, and the relationship between Hannah and Adam is strengthening. They are very cute together, therefore a declare their shipping: RedneckHuntershipping! Yeehaw! This was a rather long chapter, part one and two shoulda been there own individual chapters. Its nice seeing Adams nice side and the trapped pokemon scenes were definetely well done, especially the Pikachu one. I really wish Adam would go ahead and say who this damn beast is, and I was thankful when you had Hannah ask him what his history was like, yet he still remained ambigious. Hmm... The whole turning him into a proper gentlemen was a bit c0rny, but the coat and hug scenes were very cute, though Im surprised she wasn't disturbed at wearing the skin of a dead pokemon since she was freaked out to see the other pokemon dead. I still don't understand how exactly they are trapped in, couldn't they break the snow wall or go through the forest in the day? I immediately knew Adam was asking for toruble once he suggested Adam and Hannah split up, that girl can't survive on her own! Another thing, I kinda wish that she was a little less helpless because its getting a bit old... Will this beast get her? Im betting on Adam's death in the end and his last words being "F-f-farm g-girl I-i-i lo-ove...y...*dies*" Also, where are they getting their water from? Melted snow? I cant imagine living off of Pikachu XD POor them... Also, the blizzard scene was very nicely described

Overall: Great improvement! This chapter was definetely the best and I'll look into nominating this fic for something. I can hardly wait for future chapters! PEace out home dog!


EDIT: Review damn it! You guys dont want her getting mad, do you? Oh god...I'm so scared...*places two more dead Mareep at her fee.....WHOA I just realized I subconciously predicted the death of the Mareep at the beginning of the review! Im Psychic! Alright!!!!*
 
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Lady Myuu

Damsel mostly Stressed.
Quote by iceking
the relationship between Hannah and Adam is strengthening. They are very cute together, therefore a declare their shipping: RedneckHuntershipping!

LMAO... XD oh man you made me laugh sooo hard. Though I am amazed you didn't pick up on something (which either means I didn't describe it right OR it means I am THAT GOOD)

Hannah isn't helpless to say... its just she is out of her element, she's use to farm land and happy mareep going bah. Another thing is that while she was all ;; at the dying pokemon, wearing a fur coat is alot different (and its kinda like HA at the persian cuz thats what it gets for eating HER POKEMON >:O) Fluff's only role was to give light for Hannah then to die, but since thats pokebots I had to give him a personality. Of course when I did that I wanted to keep him cuz he was so cute <3

Now I kinda warped the pokemon world into my own thing here, if you read the beginning of the story it has some history such as what time they are in (Little house on the pairie time pretty much.) Now there are alot of hills and mountians I think in the pokemon world (thats why we have all those annoying blocking trees and walls in teh games nya)

Have you ever seen 'seven wives for my seven brothers?' I think thats what its called, something like that. When some girls were kidnapped they got them through a pass they caused an avalanch that blocked the path and would not leave tell spring. Its kinda like that, there is a pass between Ilex forest and Goldenrod and when it snows REALLY BAD it tends to get blocked off (an avalanch accured I guess... yeah thats it! *covers plot hole* NOTHING TO SEE HERE) and it wont go tell either spring melts it or it gets warm enough to melt. (If the weather is like anythig liek kansas, its gonna melt first probably XD we tend to have sunny warm days one day and then freezing below zero cloudy days the next)


Adam is a sweety deep down and all people have a drive to be with other people, its just natural for us to be with people (some may agree but there jsut ingoring human nature) so he is getting all yay people at Hannah and Hannah is all yay he ins't going to die from some random sickness or run off like her stupid brother!

:eek: now to like, uh, figure out whats suppose to go into the next chapter,I have the whole story from start to finish in my head, but cutting it up into even chunks for 15 pages chapters isn't easy >.<

thanks for the review.

edit: its amazing how people act when you get modded o_O scary.

beta... BETA? You would BETA ;; omg I love you.
 
Whoo! Excellent chapter. Despite numerous punctuation, grammar and even spelling errors, this remains in place as one of the best fics I've read. Although, I have to say that I side with Hannah's initial reaction - teh killing ain't really my thing. Meh. I'm notorious for not reading things that get gory. -_-

But anyway, you've got beautiful characterisation and that sort of 'outdated horror movie' atmosphere down so precisely. I must say, though, I would like to have seen a bit more of the pokemon side of things. For a pokemon fic, it's proving decidedly sparse in the area of actual pokemon, let alone pokemon characters. Will Hannah get another companion in place of Fluff (who in my mind is sorely missed)?

On the Adam/beast thing, but I my suspicious, but I could well be barking up the wrong tree. Speaking of trees... what was that whole 'don't hurt teh trees!!!1!!one!' thing about? Perhaps I missed some hints, but that confused me. Though I suspect it will all be explained later.

Another thing that struck me is that your chapter is huge. Absolutely huge. But I didn't lose interest in it - and for me that's saying something. My attention span, I fear, grows daily shorter and for you to keep it that long is clearly an indication of the presence of TALENT. That's right. TALENT. ^^ Awesome work.

Basically, you've got a thoroughly JUICY story here - complete with loveable and fantastically developed characters - but I would REALLY advise being careful as you write it. Commas in place of full stops, awkward sentences, really STRANGE punctuation and other grammatical peculiarities abound. Spellchecker should help - and now you've got Iceking beta-ing for you. That oughta clear up the irregularities. ^^ Great work, wonderful writing, etcetera. Oh, and congratulations on your mod-ship! Until next time, have fun!

Piney.
;204;;324;
 
C

Calcos the Destroyer

Guest
I Live!!

*falls out of wormhole* Graaaaaaahhhhh!!! .....Am I of the living? I am! Hooray! What to do... *reads* Damn! Convincing! Suspensful! Sublime! Elegant! ETC!!! *sucked back into wormhole* NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! *slurp*
 

Kiyohime

Well-Known Member
Oh, god, not the Mareep! The Mareeps! Augh. XD

Well, what can I say? I love the classic foreboding horror-movie type atmosphere you've created. Things gradually get worse and worse....Fluff dying, getting snowed in....then the really creepy things start to happen, like Adam. Then it all blows up to hell on a sugar-frosted flaming elevator. XD

However, I will have to echo everyone else here and point out that there's so many tiny, tiny errors scattered throughout the chapters. However, if Iceking's your beta now, that's great. ^^ I'm going to subscribe to this because I really want see where it's going. ^^;
 

Lady Myuu

Damsel mostly Stressed.
Sugar-frosted flaming elevator? o.o that is the most weirdest mental image I have ever had!

o.o thanks for the review! you got to it sooner then I expected. I love you now <3 *stalks*

Thanks to the reviews from the other guys too and um... that little spammy one... yes thanks o_O I think. *pokes the spammy one*

anyway. Chapter 3 is coming along veeeeeeeerrrrrryyyyyy sloooooowly. Its all ZOMG insperation *writes a paragraph* ZOMG INSPERATION DIEDED.

o_O It was suppose to be up by tomorrow or so I thought but now seems to be up sometime in the near future yes?
 

CHeSHiRe-CaT

A Curious Breed
Lady Myuu, you rock. ;-;

The Prologue made me cry. Literally. I dunno if it was your writing, or it coupled with The Legendary Hero theme from the Legend of Zelda, but whatever it is, I am saddened already XD Hannah's circumstances are horrible... You truly show us that this is not a perfect world, and that nothing lasts forever. In this prologue, you also interpreted the last testimony of a mother and her daughter into a loving, heart-felt, yet...dark, hoarse shadow that creeps into Chapter One, for the plot that unfolds: Hannah's search for her brother and to let him be seen by her mother once more.

Chapter one and two illustrated the beginning of Hannah's venture into the Ilex Forest, and the beginning of her worries. I really like Adam's nature, personality, virtues, and the way he lives inside the forest. He is a respectable young man, but you always have the feeling there's something wrong with him. Hannah changes him a bit; just being in her presence, as you described, was comforting.

Gah, bleeding Mareep and carnivorous kitty >3 Luff to it all. I'm just left a little perplexed at the ending of the last chapter. You made it seem as though something horrible had happened to Hannah, yet, something that she wanted. I nearly died of laughter at the part where she carved "Kill brother" on the tree , and then when I realized she shouldn't have been doing it, I crawped mah pants XD This is a lovely story, Lady Myuu. I'll prolly come back to read more ^_^
 

Kiyohime

Well-Known Member
That's exactly how I write. INSPIRATION....INSPIRATION DIES. ZOMG.

Though, did you have the entire plot planned out already? o.o
 

Lady Myuu

Damsel mostly Stressed.
actrually, yes while little details such as Adam's obession with the trees (zomg tree hugger!) and I forgot but there was smething else kinda worked themselves in.... the whole outline of the plot is all in here *taps head* and since I am horrible at writing notes and things I actrually roleplayed the whole story out with Renegade. She is kinda behind Hannah's personality while I had to adapt it a bit into the story.

I love how Ren's talent to make strong willed girls that aren't so strong willed as you first see :D then they get all strong again :eek: <3 Hannah

<< >> chapter three is like the filler chapter that kinda ties things in two and four togather but really is annoying cuz its more of well filler chapters are annoying! ;; I want me action babeh.

... so yeah.
 

Typhlogirl

keep battling on!
Well, I'm FINalLY here. Soz I took so long! ^_^;;

Anyway, I love what you have going here Lady Myuu. Your idea is very fresh and new, and adds an air of intrigue into your plot. Lovely.

I'm going to discuss everything in one. First, Hannah. An interesting character. It was rather shocking how in chapter one, her Mareep was killed so suddenly!! That was surprising, to say in the least. Ah well. Adam fixed that right up!! D: XD Oh, the thing with the Persian coat was cool. I want one now ;_; XD. Especially with the hood being the head. Yay. ^_^

Speaking of Adam, he is an intriguing character! He seems to add an air of mystery to the plot, which is very nice. A trapper eh? Cool. Did I mention I like how this is set in the old days? I honestly prefer this sort of thing to science fiction. Too hard to understand it all X_X. So that's another thing I like about this fic.

I thought Adam would go AWOL at Hannah when she was carving the tree. Scaaary. He seemed like the type of person who would do that. Oh, the Pidgeotto's cool. I like that particular evolutionary chain.

Hannah felt pity for the cute small creature, as unlike ratattas and its evolved form, the yellow lightening rodent always tended to find a soft spot in most girls’ hearts.

;_; So much Rattata hate...but Pikachu's cool. [/random] Ahem.

Did I mention I love how this is set in Johto, which, IMO, is the best of all three regions? And the ILEX FOREST! I love that place! Yay, Ilex Forest fic! Oh, on that point, 'Ilex' should be capitilized whenever it is mentioned. So should pokemon type names like 'Mareep' and 'Pikachu'.

On the subject of grammar, there are errors, but they are minor and can be overlooked I suppose. Chapter length is VERY LONG X_x but I suppose if there is only going to be five you may as well make them big! Hooray!

All in all, a very mysterious and enjoyable read that I am definately going to follow. Well done, you've hooked my interest!

Yours faithfully,

-;157;

P.S. Oh yes, filler chapters SUCK. I know how you feel SO MUCH. They are so hard to write! *rants and flames filler chapters*
 

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
Yeah I finally got around to reading/reviewing. Well, mostly reviewing as you know why Myuu XD

Anyways, as always, awesome chapters, characters, detail and description. I just love how you're adapting and flushing the fic out and especially where it differs from the RP.

Poor Hannah's fingers, so abused by Pidgeotto XD puts a new spin on finger food though *gets hit for bad joke*

I forget how long your chapters are though, as while I think mine are long, at 30 paragraphs, yours make mine cry in fear at being squashed XD though I gotta say, I <3 the first chapter the most. Mostly cause of Fluff. MAREEP FTW.

It's like Magikarp. It makes people instantly love the fic. Then maybe hate you for what you do with it XD
 
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