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Inverse Thinking (Horrible title only i existance b/c need to title this thread)

Act

Let's Go Rangers!
Inverse Thinking

NaNoWriMo 07. Woohoo.

This story does not yet have a title. I resent having to give it one.

For anyone who sees the correlation between this and Reflect, my fanfic work, its because I figured that approaching NaNo with a format (and characters templates) that I had confidence in would make me enjoy the process more, and consequently the story, and as such I'll write more faster. So yeah. (I noticed the weird typo 'more faster...' but the real question is, did you?)

But the stories themselves are completely different. So do enjoy, and I implore you to leave comments, positive and negative.

Contents

prologue

I. .prewriting
II. .prerequisites
III. .preemption

story

1 (link)
2 (link)
Alex's third letter (coming soon)

-----

.prewriting



False.

You see, more often than not a single word is infinitely more powerful than the harangues of description most would use in its place. It invokes a single, easily deciphered emotion as opposed to a jumble of feelings that leave little wake as they pass by. What does it matter, dear reader, if he was tall and handsome? If he was neither? Why say this in the most grandiose of prose possible? Writing is for communication.

For those who persist in caring despite my objections, he was not tall, nor particularly good-looking (and possibly to some not good-looking at all). But is this superficial point, in the end, what attracts one person to another? Is this what, particularly in the blindness that is a written account, creates a bond between one being and another?

I think not. This said, I give you that word and leave you to meditate on it: what exactly makes someone so? Naturally it is not the only trait he held, but it is quite central to the background of this tale, your prologue.

The other one, though, merits the word, ‘there.’ It is an adjective, demonstrative for those who are that particular, and that it was he was. He was somewhere, floating in a sea of insecurity, masked by a face of pugnaciousness. He found he was most himself wherever he was not, and wherever he was he disliked. This, as you could well imagine, makes for a very unsettling state of mind. As such, he tended to go through bouts of both wanderlust and inertia.

Some may believe in it, but your narrator does not give much credence to the idea of finding oneself, and neither did he. It almost seems like a cop-out, really. Where you are, from whence you come… it is all part of identity. This is why, it is believed, most who journey for identity end up going home. So, my most treasured patron, why not just stay home?

It is all irrelevant in the end I suppose. All that is important is that you meditate on what they are, because what someone is very much shapes their stories. Run through your mind all the possibilities, and look closely for inconsistencies. For now, your story begins.

----

Comment :D:D:D
 
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duncan

Well-Known Member
Very nice. Yeah, I'm not so sure about the title, but the rest was very good.

False.

You see, more often than not a single word is infinitely more powerful than the harangues of description most would use in its place. It invokes a single, easily deciphered emotion as opposed to a jumble of feelings that leave little wake as they pass by. What does it matter, dear reader, if he was tall and handsome? If he was neither? Why say this in the most grandiose of prose possible? Writing is for communication.

Very nicely put. Not a whole lot I can suggest there.

For those who persists in caring despite my objections, he was not tall, nor particularly good-looking (and possibly to some not good-looking at all). But is this superficial point, in the end, what attracts one person to another? Is this what, particularly in the blindness that is a written account, creates a bond between one being and another?

This is the only problem I noticed. The first sentence was a little confusing. Just fix your tenses there and you should be good.

Besides that I like it. It flows very nicely and is a nice attention grabber for the beginning of a story. Good luck!
 

Act

Let's Go Rangers!
New post. Do comment.

A little filler-ish, but at least amusing, I hope.

---

.prerequisites


Alas, I lie. Before the story in all of its splendor (or lack thereof) does begin, there are important things to know.

It was November, I suppose, when Riley Novak remembers running. He remembers staring at the ground, because the wind in his face stung his eyes. He could feel each movement as his little feet pedaled themselves, one in front of the other, over and over. He was not particularly sure why he enjoyed this so much. In that moment, his heart was burning, his calves were screaming, and he closed his eyes tight and just ran.

And he lost.

And this was how Riley Novak came into the acquaintance of Alex Soren, in that late fall of seventh grade. He would not ever really, truly be sure how he lost his comfortable lead in that race. In my always humble opinion, closing one’s eyes during the most important leg of any sporting event is not exactly a way to secure victory, but Riley was sure this was not what ultimately caused his demise. It was bound to happen sometime, he insisted, and he was probably right. Natural runners are tall and lean, which Riley was not and which Alex was.

Riley was, however, fiercely hypercompetitive (and still is, although that is irrelevant). As such, a lost race was unacceptable, and he decided to learn from his opponent. Like this, the boys began running together, something that continued into high school. Somewhere along the line they became friends, and not all too long after, the best of friends.

Riley found it odd, really. Alex never seemed to really enjoy running. In fact, he was outspoken to Riley about blatantly disliking it. Yet he did it so often and so well, that it seemed he must love it. He was always metaphorically running as well (pondering this made Riley feel most intelligent, because as everyone knows, metaphors mean depth and skill and untouchable writing ability). He never seemed settled; his mind always seemed to be wandering. There were so few relationships he could hold down, whether they be coworkers or friends or women, simply because he seemed to enjoy running.

There were days when Alex would just not show up at school. Then, when driving became a possibility, he would disappear for days at a time (usually weekends, as he was a diligent student; he felt education would ultimately provide an escape). Not that this was abnormal; students often cut classes—and entire days—it just seemed to Riley something out of character for Alex. He found his good friend to be extremely strange. In an odd way, he found this ethereal quality admirable. And plus, there were an almost infinite amount of times at which Alex was the knowledgeable, rational one and Riley the overzealous.

This is not to say that Riley didn’t have his own quirks. He was small in stature and in voice, but extremely dry and, especially as they got older, almost cynical. Not that this was all bad or anything-- Alex appreciated his view of the world; it was nice to have someone around who was in fact thinking about how doing something ignorant could affect their futures. It was just that Alex found it odd that someone so young could spend his time thinking about the world from the perspective of someone so much older. Riley almost seemed afraid of enjoying himself. Alex found his good friend to be extremely strange. In an odd way, he found this grounded quality admirable. And plus, there were an almost infinite amount of times at which Riley was the optimistic, Romantic one and Alex the jaded.

Though we do gravitate toward those who are the inverse of us, we also require common ground, and no two people are exactly the same anyway. Meaningless personality differences aside, their interests were almost identical. At the forefront of this, as they matured, was their mutual love for the oft-abused English language. This love and drive followed them through their schooling. They liked having each other as editors, mostly because it meant there was always someone who had an obligation to beta-read for them and proof their work before handing it in to the professor or, eventually, the publisher.

But now they are in college.

In their third year, Alex became exasperated with not getting into his room. That is, he was always being locked out by his roommate, whose girlfriend ever-so-conveniently lived across the hall.

“God forbid they go make a mess of her room,” he would complain to his friend, “So she’s always in ours. And whenever they’re doing their thing they freaking lock the door and I sit in the hallway for a while and then I end up here and you get mad and I get mad and nothing good comes of it.” Usually mellow and unexcitable, he would slam his fist on the table. No work got done when he did not have access to his things, to say the least. “Promise me,” he said, “you will never let me have a girlfriend like that.”

So they opted for an apartment: two beds, one bath, always quiet, always open.

Everything was quaint and silent (except for when Riley would play video games), sufficiently isolated (until they invited people over), and perfectly suited (except for, they found, the tiny kitchen).

Although Alex had never really held a job, Riley worked from the time they entered college right up until his last day of graduate school. They were odd jobs, “stupid things like waiting,” but provided enough of a cushion.

It bothered Riley that Alex did not work before a publisher picked him up, especially after they had graduated and he essentially spent his time doing nothing, but he also would later reflect that working gave him an excuse to not write. “As long as I was still getting tips at Steak & Ale, I think life didn’t have to start yet,” he told me once, “so I put off doing things that I should have been… like brainstorming and stuff. That’s why Alex got picked up first, I think. He always insisted it was purposeful, but I don’t know. Maybe it was all due to me being a louse in my own way.”

Regardless, when Alex got his first paycheck, Riley put his own wheels in motion. And that is where we stand in the timeline of our story.

---

Please review.
 
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duncan

Well-Known Member
Hmm. This is a bit different than how I thought it would go (don't ask me how I thought it would go). This was fine, but you might want to consider shortening it. So much information about characters at one time can be a bit of a putoff.

Instead, try to insert this information over a longer period of time. For a beginning of a story, it needs to have something to catch someone's attention. Lots of info about characters that we don't know doesn't quite do it.

This is not to say that Riley didn’t have his own quirks. He was small in stature and in voice, but extremely dry and, especially as they got older, almost cynical. Not that this was all bad or anything-- Alex appreciated his view of the world; it was nice to have someone around who was in fact thinking about how doing something ignorant could affect their futures. It was just that Alex found it odd and almost that someone so young could spend his time thinking about the world from the perspective of someone so much older. Riley almost seemed afraid of enjoying himself. Alex found his good friend to be extremely strange. In an odd way, he found this grounded quality admirable. And plus, there were an almost infinite amount of times at which Riley was the optimistic, Romantic one and Alex the jaded.

This should probably be spaced out, but besides that its fine. Just consider paring down some of it and you should be good.
 

Act

Let's Go Rangers!
This was fine, but you might want to consider shortening it. So much information about characters at one time can be a bit of a putoff.

Shortening it? It was only like 1100 words. It killed me a little inside to actually post it.

And regardless, I'm of the party that no information should be given unless it's of significance. This wasn't just an infodump for my pleasure.

That said, it was a little annoying to write and I imagine not the most fun to read, but not to no avail.

Instead, try to insert this information over a longer period of time. For a beginning of a story, it needs to have something to catch someone's attention. Lots of info about characters that we don't know doesn't quite do it.

I understand the concept of character development, and that this may not be the most thrilling way to start (honestly, that's why I included the tiny first part).

But like I said, I do think it was nessesary (holy crap, I don't know how to spell that word) given the direction I'm planning to take. Pay attention; there is stuff there that is critical to understanding the interaction and choices of the characters. IMO, anyway.

Though, in the same breath, I do have sort of a knack for moving very slowly in my plots. In the past it hasn't bitten me much, so I like to think I'll get away with it for just a little longer.

This should probably be spaced out, but besides that its fine. Just consider paring down some of it and you should be good.

Ehh, I tried splitting up that paragraph (and the adjacent one, which was about the same lengh), but I couldn't really find a place to do it that I wouldn't have to cover up with unnecesary segue-ing. It's all one main idea, and I thought it would be choppy to split it up... even if, relatively, it's a monster.


But like I said... just because there's no real action doesn't mean nothing important is happening.

Though, my 'tedious to write = tedious to read' theory does seem to be panning out again.

EDIT: The more I ponder whether or not I'm extremely defensive and n00by, the more I understand that it must have been a little boring to read (imagine, including proofs, I've had to read it like 7 times... very carefully each time, too), but I do also stand by my assertion that it was necessary.

Now that's I have in effect repeated the exact same two phrases five times within a single post, I leave. /EDIT.
 
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I tried to review earlier, but SPPf went kuhsplaht.

Anyway, for some reason, I find this really accesible and easy for me to read. It's not filled with those nasty, huge, unneccesary words that require me looking in the dictionary to figure out what you're trying to say. It's also interesting, because for some reason, I really dig 'info dumps.' It gives a whole lot more insight into the personalitly of the charecters than describing the chemical compounds of whatever synthetic material their shoes are made out of.

This reminds me of Kurt Vonnegut for some reason, especially your not so subtle shot at writing.

Anyway, I hope you keep working on this, and I hope to see more soon.

*swears that he will start writing something come Thanksgiving Break*
 

Sike Saner

Peace to the Mountain
Holy frell, do I ever like the style you're using. Seriously, it's readable as heck. ^^

Also, I thought you did a nice job of introducing Alex and Riley.

Highlights:

For now, your story begins.

I thought that line was a great note on which to end that first part. ^^

He was always metaphorically running as well (pondering this made Riley feel most intelligent, because as everyone knows, metaphors mean depth and skill and untouchable writing ability).

That got a laugh out of me. XD


So, yeah. This is looking pretty darn good so far. ^^


It gives a whole lot more insight into the personalitly of the charecters than describing the chemical compounds of whatever synthetic material their shoes are made out of.

...If anyone ever literally does that, I so want to see it. XD
 
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Act

Let's Go Rangers!
I like this chapter better.

----

.preemption



Fast forward now to our present, though it is in the past. The two sat at the table, Alex occasionally scribbling something down, Riley turning pages in a book he wasn't really reading.

Riley leaned forward, stretching his short arms across the table as far as they'd go. He turned the page of the book that was more than two feet away from his eyes. His eyes darted around in boredom, and when he realized Alex was not planning to acknowledge him he sighed heavily. He sat back in his seat, defeated. He stared at the book for a few seconds, his eyes unmoving. Then he turned the page again.

"I dislike purple prose."

Alex looked up, startled by the noise. He stared for a second, disoriented. Then: "It's really that bad?"

Riley ignored the question. "You know, whenever I'm reading something I don't like, my brain sort of shuts off... so technically I'm reading it but really none of it is registering." He closed the book, put it down on the table, and motioned toward it. "I've read 103 pages of the damned thing. I have no idea what has actually happened in any of it."

Alex smiled, knowingly. "Maybe it's like a reverse psychology thing." He looked down at his notes again. "This is exactly what you should not do when you write a book. So read it just to see how you'll be torturing people if you actually decide to."

Riley laughed. "You know what my aspiration is? To write the most mediocre thing I have ever written in my entire life, and to have it become ridiculously popular and have people worshipping it."

Alex looked up again, eyebrows furrowed. "Are you kidding? That would drive me crazy. It'd be like living hell. People saying, 'Tell us, why are you such a genius?' And me screaming in frustration, 'I'm not! This is horrible! Why are you people reading this?! I am so much better than this!'"

"But think about how awesome you'd look when your second book came out. They'd be like... Holy hell. This man is a genius, and he improves exponentially from book to book. Or something." Riley stuck his thumbs in between the pages of the book again, preparing to open it as the conversation drew to a close.

"Ends or means, I guess." Alex put his head down again, and began scribbling some more.

Imagine my hitting the fast forward button, now. Meagan walks in, wispy yet confident enough to enter without knocking. Though, maybe it was not confidence but familiarity; the door was never locked, and rarely were either of the boys within earshot of the door.

She sat down at the table and stared at the two for a time, waiting to be noticed. She tapped her foot, twiddled her fingers, and crinkled her nose.

Riley intentionally ignored her, but perhaps Alex was just spacey. That was how Meagan saw it anyway: Alex was The Boyfriend and could do no wrong. Riley was The Jealous Best Friend and could only hate her.

The book steadily got worse, and the noise of the girl only more annoying. Reading a book you dislike and having your concentration broken do not go well together. Riley put the book down to yell at Meagan, and he would never pick it up again. Later, he would tell me he wished he had finished it, if only out of spite. One day, someone asked him to explain why exactly he disliked it so much, and having not finished it (and having hardly registered what he did read), he could not muster a satisfactory reason. "It was horribly written" did not suffice. It usually is inadequate when the second party is not a writer.

Riley glared at her, exasperated, but did not dare say anything. She stuck her tongue out at him, and he quickly shifted his gaze back into the pages of his book.

Finally, Alex closed his notebook and looked up, seemingly dazed. His eyes focused, and he said, "Hey, Meg. What's up?"

She smiled. "Noth-ing!"

The tone was so unbearably sweet, Alex raised his eyebrows. This couldn't be for nothing. "What do you want?"

Meagan was never one to miss an opportunity. She quickly set about rattling off her to-do list, transferring her every chore or possible responsibility on to someone else.

Meagan was not stupid. Really, I insist. She had simply never been called upon to be smart. She had been raised such that nothing was her fault: not a bad grade, not a car crash. And when you are taught to blame someone else, there is not very much motivation to go above and beyond the call of duty, to overextend, or to learn. So she did not. And had she, chances are this might just not have happened.

Or maybe it would have. One can never tell with these types of situations. If an obvious strike was somehow called a ball, and on the next pitch the batter homers, would the home run have happened anyway?

Alex did not seem to mind this incessant nagging. Or, if he did he did not show it. Riley minded, but opted to say nothing. It was his way, really: saying nothing. Regardless, Alex wrote down the laundry list in his journal, next to the various plot ideas, critical thoughts, and ideas about running. This made Meagan happy; she felt, for some reason, victorious in that she and her needs were just as important as his work.

She gazed in triumph at Riley, eyebrows raised, as Alex stood up to get his jacket. Riley refused to make eye contact with her. He felt that this might justify her obnoxiousness, or something to that degree. Maybe he was just intimidated by her. There’s something about those confident girls that commands respect, even when none is due.

What happened next sent a spiral of events into motion. The entire premise of our story is based on this one fact, this one seemingly mundane action. Because at this point in time, Alex waved to his friend and his girlfriend, pulled his jacket over his shoulder, and walked out the door.

And he didn’t come back.

---

Review, yo.
 
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duncan

Well-Known Member
Ah, good. I liked this a lot. A few nitpicks like always, though.

Riley laughed. "You know what my aspiration is? To write the most mediocre thing I have ever written in my entire life, and to have it become ridiculously popular and have people worshipping it."

Alex looked up again, eyebrows furrowed. "Are you kidding? That would drive me crazy. It'd be like living hell. People saying, 'Tell us, why are you such a genius?' And me screaming in frustration, 'I'm not! This is horrible! Why are you people reading this?! I am so much better than this!'"

"But think about how awesome you'd look when your second book came out. They'd be like... Holy hell. This man is a genius, and he improves exponentially from book to book. Or something." Riley stuck his thumbs in between the pages of the book again, preparing to open it as the conversation drew to a close.

Heh. This made me laugh. I've said those exact words (okay, maybe not exactly, but close) before, so that really made it funny.

Meagan walks in, wispy yet confident enough to enter without knocking.

I liked this, but what does she look like? I didn't see any sort of description of her at all.

Reading a book you dislike and having your concentration broken do not go well together.

I know the feeling. XD

What happened next sent a spiral of events into motion. The entire premise of our story is based on this one fact, this one seemingly mundane action. Because at this point in time, Alex waved to his friend and his girlfriend, pulled his jacket over his shoulder, and walked out the door (leaving it ajar, I might add).

And he didn’t come back. This, now, is where our story begins.

Nice ending!

You know, I'm quite liking this right now. I don't have a lot to pick on, so I'll go ahead and leave it at that. Good job!
 

FlamingRuby

The magic of Pokemon
Okay, one review, coming up!

Description: I like the little commentary about everything. Is this an outside narrator, by chance?
Characters: I also love how well Riley and Alex interact! Also, Riley made me think of the Riley that gives you the Riolu in D/P
Plot: Not much here yet, but I'm hoping things will pick up here shortly.

Rating: ;025; ;025; ;025; ;172;

I'm holding off on giving you a Raichu until the plot develops...I will be returning to see what happens. Based on what I see here, we have a Raichu-caliber story in the making.
 

Act

Let's Go Rangers!
duncan said:
You know, I'm quite liking this right now. I don't have a lot to pick on, so I'll go ahead and leave it at that. Good job!

Thanks very much for the comments, duncan :) I do appreciate it.

Flaming Ruby said:
I like the little commentary about everything. Is this an outside narrator, by chance?

I haven't exactly figured out who the narrator is quite yet, to be honest. I'm a horrible author, I know.

Flaming Ruby said:
Plot: Not much here yet, but I'm hoping things will pick up here shortly.

Yeah, my big, huge, giant shortcoming is that I do tend to move painfully slowly... but for one of the first times ever, I actually *have* a plot, so woohoo for me, I guess.

Flaming Ruby said:
I'm holding off on giving you a Raichu until the plot develops...I will be returning to see what happens. Based on what I see here, we have a Raichu-caliber story in the making.

Thank you very much for the quick response, and if I find time I'll do my best to reciprocate.

Thanks again, all. :)
 
You know, the similiarities in your style to the one Kurt Vonnegut used in Breakfast of the Champions. I know I already said that, but this chapter reminded me even more of it than the last did.

Again, strong writing throughout, and the charecters are becoming more and more interesting. The ending kinda bugged me a little though. Stuff like "What happened next sent a spiral of events into motion" is really cliched, and it just leads into a sort of cliff hanger that doesn't really add much to the story. Also saying that "This, now, is where our story begins" is also sort of silly, and makes the whole thing more wordy than it needs to be. Just saying that he walks out the door, and never comes back would have a lot more impact than going for the "EVENT TORNADO!" bit.

... Even so, I am looking forward to it. :p
 

Act

Let's Go Rangers!
Muchas gracias.

The ending kinda bugged me a little though.

I agree D: I didn't like it as much as when I conceptualized it.

and makes the whole thing more wordy than it needs to be.

I agree. I'm going to take that out.

Part of the verboseness I blame on nanowrimo. I'm like 47000 words behind at this point.

But thanks, as always. I'm sort of embarassed to say I've never read Vonnegut. DX But I probably should.
 
'It was just that Alex found it odd and almost that someone so young could spend his time thinking about the world from the perspective of someone so much older.' This sentence seems like it has a mistake somewhere. I think it's missing a word after 'almost'. Or there's something wrong around that section. I just can't seem to figure out exactly what it is. And at the end of the same paragraph has 'Romantic' capitalized. I don't know if you did that intentionally or not.

I liked the famous crappy book discussion. I've thought similar ideas regarding other things.

Ah, short chapters. A nice break for the long chaptered fics I've been reading lately. I've read all of them so far in less than half an hour. ^_^

Anyways, I enjoyed this. It seems both similar and different to many fics I've read, both in good ways. I will definitely be continuing with this. Just a note though: I subscribe to threads so don't worry about adding me to your PM list if you gave one. ^_^

BTW, this title you seem to be not very fond of I personally think it fits rather well. ^_^
 

Act

Let's Go Rangers!
Mondo TR said:
'It was just that Alex found it odd and almost that someone so young could spend his time thinking about the world from the perspective of someone so much older.' This sentence seems like it has a mistake somewhere. I think it's missing a word after 'almost'. Or there's something wrong around that section. I just can't seem to figure out exactly what it is. And at the end of the same paragraph has 'Romantic' capitalized. I don't know if you did that intentionally or not.

Eek, thanks for pointing that out. I have no idea what was supposed to go after 'almost,' so I might as well get rid of it. And Romantic is supposed to be captalized, as it refers to the literary and thought movement and not the... I dunno, romance.

Thanks very much for the review. I do appreciate it.

(And of couse, now that the title's grown on me, I can't edit that long sentence complaining out of it >.>)
 
I thought you might have capitalized Romance for that reason. I figured I'd point it out incase you hadn't meant it to be capitalized.

Also, you could PM a fics mod asking them to fix the title. I did that with Aura. Might take a few days or so but I'm sure they won't mind too much.
 

Praxiteles

Friendly POKéMON.
The writing is a mirror of the writer's personality, indeed. The main point of interest to me here was that the style of writing, and the thoughts you employ in various points along the way, are very removed from the usual. One example, of course, is how far the story and its various inhabitants go to shun purple prose ( :p ), and the singular order of the storyline is entertaining to read, as well. While I felt the informational dump was perhaps a bit... like to the manner of informational dumps... I found it a good insight into the lives of the main characters. While it doesn't seemingly introduce Riley and Alex in the gradual, thorough manner of showing-rather-than-telling, it suits the style you employ, where the actual 'showing' is kept to strategic minimums.

Following the tendency of readers to have opinions about the storyline contrary to the writers, I shall say I like the title (unless, in some later turn of plot, it turns out to be less likable), the dramatic endings to the chapters do not seems ineffectual and overused to me, and the tendency of not knowing certain portions of you own story are some of the most enjoyable experiences to me. I haven't figured out the premises for the title, but I'm certain I'm merely feeling thick today.

Ayways, short review, but to the point, I hope. *vanishes in a flash of low-quality conjurer's tricks*
 

Act

Let's Go Rangers!
@ PS: Like I've said... my big crime is that I tend to move painfull slowly. But, unlike usual, I actually have a direction in which I'm slowly moving.

That aside... the narrtor... the best part of the first-person-omniscient style is that it's just flat-out fun to write. It allows you a lot more room. And it's sort of a coy way of writing first person narrative, which, IMO, is usually a turn-off.

Though, that said, it's key to keep in mind that character's opinions are not always my own, and the narration, because the narrator is a 'character' can be very biased.

Thanks much for the review. I appreciate it muchly.
 
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