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Is it normal to not be interested in your family?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Discussion' started by Missingno.Fan, Dec 26, 2019.

  1. Missingno.Fan

    Missingno.Fan Well-Known Member

    It seems like the older I get, the less I care about my family. There is no bad blood between us, and I would never say I hate them, but it’s more like I just feel nothing. I especially feel this way towards my mom’s side of the family. I never have any desire to talk to any of these people. I know one issue I have is that all of my cousins are married and/or have kids, where I’m single, childless, and living with my parents. It makes me feel like I don’t fit in with any of them. Does anybody else feel this way?
    OwensJB likes this.
  2. Ubermuk

    Ubermuk Sticky & Sweet

    Well that explains it. You have a different life situation than your relatives so you have less in common with them. Also I think that people normally grow apart as they get older anyways.
    OwensJB likes this.
  3. Darato

    Darato (o,..,o)

    I grew up with my mom's side of the family, but a lot of them are super religious (Mormon) I scared the shit out of my aunt a few months ago by having a pink phone case and being male; so don't really spend any time with any of them.

    Spend time with some of the cousins on my dad's side who I saw once or twice a year when I was younger.

    Things change as people get older

    Last edited: Dec 27, 2019
    Ubermuk likes this.
  4. Zero1999

    Zero1999 Well-Known Member

    Kind of in the same boat with you, i don't hate my family but, ever since i was like 14 years old, i just wanted stay away from them, in some ways, i felt unconfortable for no reason and even to this day, i don't really like to talk to them much, i just wanted to do my stuff and be alone most of the time.

    I thought that perhaps, as the years went by, maybe it was a normal behavior for a teenager, but now as an adult, this feeling never went away.
    Missingno.Fan and Leonhart like this.
  5. KrissPola

    KrissPola Member

    really like to talk to them much
  6. Monox D. I-Fly

    Monox D. I-Fly Well-Known Member

    I have toxic parents, so I was also distant with them. Both my siblings also feel this, but my older sister is quite close with my father and my younger brother is quite close with my mother. TV Tropes even addresses this kind of situation as Middle Child Syndrome. It's only since my mother got a stroke attack last year that I start to feel close with my parents.
    Leonhart likes this.
  7. KingstonUponHulbury

    KingstonUponHulbury Well-Known Member

    Honestly? No, I don't think it is normal.

    Clearly, abusive, dangerous or otherwise unhealthy environments are one thing, and people who grow up in them have far fewer - if any - obligations to their parents. I hope we would all agree that such situations aren't 'normal', though they may be depressingly common.

    But assuming they're typical, loving parents who cared enough to raise you, a genuine apathy towards them is something I would be worried about and might even discuss with a professional. I'm well aware that my own father is someone I almost certainly would have nothing to do with in another life, but I've sometimes been surprised by how instinctual my care for him has been.

    I've found that a large part of 'adulting' is realising how others are emotionally dependent on you and working to fulfil those duties. The more independent and capable you become, the more others actually need your company and support, and I would feel selfish to deny that to the people in my life.
    Leonhart likes this.
  8. Vernikova

    Vernikova Champion

    When you have your own situations going on, and the less in common you have with people, it's natural to grow more distant from one another. If it wasn't for them being your family, I suspect that you would speak to them less often than you already do.

    As for me, I'm very distant with my family. For the epidemic, I've moved back in with my mother to watch over her more, but once it's over with then I'm just going to move back into my own apartment. If it wasn't for this, then I wouldn't have much contact with my family going on.
  9. Zora

    Zora Who dies first?

    I mean, I keep in contact with my immediate family, but don't interact with my extended family outside of family gatherings. My Mom's side of the family is basically all on Hawaii so rarely see them; my Dad's side all of my cousins are toddlers or ten years old than me--and like it's hard to make a meaningful connection from that. Like, they're all fine people.
    Leonhart likes this.
  10. I actively dislike my family and imo that's fine so sure lol
    Leonhart likes this.
  11. Auraninja

    Auraninja Try to understand.

    I lived in a toxic family relationship earlier, but I've gotten past that.

    On a somewhat separate note, I will occasionally talk to some of my cousins.

    I can be very diplomatic at its worst these days.
    Last edited: May 16, 2020
    OwensJB likes this.
  12. Ignition

    Ignition Free

    I don't see an issue. I find a lot of my family to be some of the worst people I've ever met and I don't even remember the last time we've spoken. I don't think you're obligated to like anyone
    OwensJB likes this.
  13. Satoshi & Touko

    Satoshi & Touko Glimwood Tangle is Literal Dreamland

    I guess not? I'm not interested in mine. In fact, I'm trying to think of anyway I can leave them and basically erase them from my life.
    OwensJB and keepitsimple like this.

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