PM next chapter (because i'll forget if i don't write it down)
X Kazemon
Guitar dude bill
Wandering Rhythmical Phoenix
^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^
I did have a parody here with the Elite Four or Kanto, Johto and Hoenn doing the plot of Shrek2 but i didn't finish it anywhere other than ff.net -_-
Hope this 'script' style is acceptable. Things like this are always funnier in script style and this is set out clear and whatnot... eh.
This has gonnen some good reviews on ff.net so apparently SOME pople find it funny (and sily XD).
Aaaand, don't read if you don't like stereotypes, k? People are just too sensitive.
Author: Yoru Ryu AKA Rainy Day
Rating: PG-13 for occasional language and innuendo
Disclaimer: Yoru owns nothing, so no legal action please. And some jokes here are the result of Nikki who has a great sense of humour XD
A/N: Just to add another humour fic to my collection, it may get silly. I like script style as it can make things even funnier and I don’t see why it isn’t welcomed most places. Let’s see if this goes anywhere…and thanks to Nikki for the flashback scenes--you rule girl.
Act:1
Scene: A low fat feel good bacteria
A Skarmory flies across the screen, we don’t actually know if this is the same Skarmory that the big bad boss man has, nobody explains it, all we know is you never see it again… Perhaps it got itself lodged in the Cliffside? And nobody will ever know nya!
AUNDIENCE: For God’s Sake!
The scene changes to five quintuplets walking round in circles - Lets just say their names are Bill, Phil, Gill, Dill and… Fredwardo and a very uncomfortable looking man.
BOOM!
GONZAP THE CONSTIPATED: Whoa, what was that? Come my Band of Merry Men!
Below grounds… though not under sea level – that’d just be stupid.
WES: I did it!
UMBREON: (Sarcastic) Huzzah…
WES: Now we just have to find that crazy arm thing…
UMBREON: (Sighs)
Completely ignoring the fact that Gonzap The Constipated and his band of Merry Men are on their way down Wes and his black dog thing wander around the room.
UMBREON: Hey, I found it!
WES: Espeon –
UMBREON: Umbreon
WES: - Umbreon, calm down or your gonna get me into trouble.
UMBREON: And breaking and entering isn’t going to get you in trouble?
GONZAP THE CONSTIPATED’S VOICE: WES!
WES: Now you’ve gone and done it.
UMBREON: Sure. Blame the non-human one.
Wes sees three different coloured snag machines in the center of the room.
UMBREON: Didn’t do a very good job about hiding them did they? (Looks around) Not even any guards.
WES: Preccccciouuussssss…
UMBREON: Um.
Wes closely examines the three machines of blue, red and pink. He picks up the red one.
WES: Does this make me look fat?
UMBREON: Of course not. It complements your eyes.
He takes the blue one.
WES: Hows ‘bout this?
UMBREON: Hmmmm… (Scratches chin) I always imagined you a spring shade.
WES: Right you are (Takes the pink one)
AUDIENCE: How stupidly obvious for a boy to take something pink in a humour story…
WES: Now to escape (Throws arm in the air) To the Batmobile, Robin!
Try again.
WES: To the Mystery Machine, Scoob!
Nope.
WES: To the Speedo… ah… I mean Speeder, Umbreon!
Much Better
BOOM!
Gonzap The Constipated runs out and grabs the back of Wes’s Speedo... er… Speeder.
WES: Eheheh, Onwards! (Throws the bike in reverse by accident and runs over Gonzap The Constipated) Eeps. Back to jail for me, hehehe.
The speeder continues its path backwards and through the hole in the building…
AUDIENCE: What hole?
YORU: Oh, did I not mention that part? Yeah, my bad.
… and towards another wall – this time with no hole.
YORU: Happy now?
AUNDIENCE: Hardly! We don’t even want to be here.
Espeon, seeing the cofuffle Wes’ got them into teleports them to the middle of the desert.
CHRISTIAN FUNDAMENTALISTS: We told you! That Espeon is Satan! This proves it! (Wave bibles about)
AUNDIENCE: ‘Cofuffle’?
YORU: it’s a word!
Outskirt stand.
WES: (Eating chips)
AMERICAN AUDIENCE: What the Hell are chips?
BRITISH AUDIENCE: Idiots.
AMERICAN AUDIENCE: Hah! By ‘chips’ they mean ‘French fries’
BRITISH AUDIENCE: Idiots.
Two strange men walk down the ramp of the old Locomotive restaurant, they seem slightly miss-shaped for they’re bending over like hunchbacks.
DUSTY’S VOICE: Thank you, come again!
FOLLY: (Holds hand to head) Oh, what atrocious service. I for one am never returning to this urine soaked Hellhole.
TRUDLY: I disagree. You could’ve called it a ‘Pee pee soaked heck hole’…
FOLLY: Well corrected my four-fingered friend.
TRUDLY: Terribly bad when that bloke tried to fondle me under the table.
FOLLY: The one with pink hair?
TRUDLY: The very same.
FOLLY: Well, I heard he…
WES: (Notices the moving bag in the boot of the van) Hmmmm…
Wes walks over to the moving bag while the two ‘gentlemen’ fervently discuss their terrible experience in the restaurant carriage.
ESPEON: Suspicious…
UMBREON: I concur.
WES: Hmmm…
BAG: (Wiggles) Help me, you moron!
WES: Hmmmm… (Opens bag)
BAG: I can see the light, and it burns!
WES: (Stuffs his chip carton in the bag) Hmmmmm…
BAG: Hey! Don’t throw your rubbish in here!
WES: (Ties the bag up again) Hmmmmm…
BAG: Nooooo!
The two strangers walk back to their van.
FOLLY: OI! (Hits Wes round the back of the head) Keep you filthy hands off of my bag sack!
They leave. Now, inside the locomotive.
Do the Locomotion~
Wes and his purple and black dogs walk over to the counter, the TV comes on.
NEWSREADER: Literally seconds after the ‘Hero’ of this game has made his escape our rag-tag team of news reporters have discovered this blown out building. (Points to a sign) Convenient eh?
SIGN: Team Snagem Headquarters – signed, Supreme Overlord Gonzap!
NEWSREADER: We have yet to determine what this building was used for, however we do suspect it to be smuggling X-rated footage of Prince Charles into the country (shudders)… back to you at the station, Jerry.
JERRY: Thank you, now we have just received some of the footage of Prince Charles. People of a nervous disorder, young children and pregnant women should look away… now.
A random woman in the carriage screams and chucks her teacup at the TV in horror.
DUSTY: HEY!
WOMAN: Sorry…
DUSTY: (Turns to Wes) How may I be of service to you Mr…?
WES: Gotta think of a line fast!
DUSTY: Excuse me?
WES: Wait, did I just say that out loud?
DUSTY: Um (gasps) you’re the ‘Hero’ of the game!
WES: AHHHHHHHH! (Runs out)
DUSTY: Thank you, come again.
The pink haired man who tried to fondle Trudly shuffles out after Wes.
ESPEON: What a shifty character.
WILLIE: I see you are a Pokemon trainer…
UMBREON: (Rolls eyes) What a line.
WES: A... what?
WILLIE: A Pokemon trainer.
WES: Oh, no. I don’t have any Pokemon.
Willie, Espeon and Umbreon stare at Wes a long moment.
WILLIE: What about them then? (Points to the Eons.)
WES: They’re mine? God, I thought they just followed me round ‘cause they had nothing better to do!
UMBREON: I have way better things to do than follow you around!
ESPEON: I don’t…
WILLIE: ANYway! How’d you get them on the motorbike?
WES: Oh, oh! I know that joke! Ahem, POKE ‘EM ON!
WILLIE: What?
WES: How’d you get two Pikachu in a car? Poke ‘em on!
WILLIE: (Ignores him) Would you like to battle?
WES: No, I don’t have any Pokemon! I’ve told you already.
Wes grabs up his belongings and stalks off to the speeder, Espeon and Umbreom follow and they all speed off.
WILLIE: Drat, another through the net.
The next town along Folly and Trudley are struggling under the weight of the mysterious bag.
WES: You do know the rubbish men come by on Wednesdays don’t you?
FOLLY: This ain’t a rubbish bag.
WES: Yeah it is. I put my rubbish in there so therefore it’s a rubbish bag.
TRUDLY: Look! Just shut up, how’re we supposed to do any struggling when you keep distracting us!?
ESPEON: (Uses psychic abilities to throw the bag in a Dumpster) Done and dusted.
BAG: Ow.
No need to get violent.
WES: (Looks around) Who said that?
I did.
WES: Who?
Me.
WES: Hm, I’m hearing things again, just like when that voice told me to kill all my friends, so I did an’ got sent to jail for life and then just like any justice system I’m free and killing friends again after only two months… eh... what were we talking about again?
ESPEON: Who’s is he talking to?
UMBREON: God knows.
FOLLY: Oh I cannot take this anymore! If anybody wants me I’ll be in the VIP lounge!
Folly and Trudly run off leaving their van and the rubbish bag.
BAG: For the last time I am not a rubbish bag!
Dash walks past and drops a sweet wrapper on the floor. Wes picks it up.
WES: Hey, moron! There’s a rubbish bag right there (Points.)
BAG: NOT A RUBBISH BAG!
DASH: Should a rubbish bag talk like that?
WES: It talks? (Spins around)
Everyone walks over to it and Wes picks up a pointy stick and pokes it.
WES: Pokey, pokey.
A muffled curse from the bag and a hand grabs the pokey stick through the material and shakes it about violently.
WES: Oh God it’s sucking me in!
ESPEON: Just let go of the stick, genius.
UMBREON: (Smacks Wes for insubordination)
YORU: See? I told you he was just an innocent victim.
AUDIENCE: Bloody sympathizer.
Wes opens the bag and Rui jumps out.
RUI: For the sake of my reputation as a medium I would first like to say I don’t stand for violence of any sort…
Rui smacks Wes.
RUI: And that I am not a rubbish character you can just run away from. No, no I follow you everywhere. There is no escape from my hauntingly big eyes that will follow you around the room, no. No escape at all! Muhahahaha! Think the Mona Lisa on Prozac...
It’s true. I always try to lose you in Agate but whenever I go into a house you suddenly appear… must be a time traveler. Tell me, are you Doctor Who?
RUI: Doctor who?
Exactly.
ESPEON: Does she have a Tardis?
UMBREON: I reckon she uses that rubbish bag.
RUI: I do not travel in time! My pet can though… have you met Celebi?
AUDIENCE: If she were an original character and had a Celebi people’d say she was a Mary-Sue now.
And that isn’t fair. Just because an original character has a Legendary doesn’t mean they’re all high and mighty!
RUI: Oh you’re just getting uppy ‘cause every character in ‘The Dragon Homeland’ has a Legendary Pokemon.
Well, yes… but most of the main characters aren’t original anyway…
RUI: Excuses, excuses…
Can we get back on track please?
RUI: So tell me, Wes. Why’d you join Team Snagem? (Mutters) Like I already don’t know.
WES: Well, a lot of people say I was an abused child or orphaned but I can’t remember which…
I think I’ll go for abused first… hit it, Wes!
WES: Yes, I was an abused child in the past…
ESPEON: I feel a flashback coming on.
UMBREON: Now look what you’ve done!
Ten years earlier…
WES’S MUM: (Screams at Wes)
WES’S DAD: (Smacks Wes over the head with a two-by-four)
BOTH: Hot damn, we’re awful.
KIDDIE WES: Pity me, pity meeeee!
Back to the present. And now we’ll try with orphaned.
WES: And then my parents where killed in an accident on the roads…
Eighteen years ago.
A road through the middle of nowhere. A cheese truck speeds along, a pale gray man with wild purple hair and glowing red eyes is at the wheel. Next to him sits a single passenger reading a roadmap.
NASCOUR: Gonzap, have you figured out that accursed map yet?
GONZAP: I’m trying, sir.
NASCOUR: You’ve been trying for 20 minutes. We’ll have missed our exit; let me see that map!
GONZAP: Shouldn’t you watch the road?
Nascour yanks the map away.
NASCOUR: Hmmmm…
Meanwhile, in a mini headed the opposite direction…
WES’S DAD: Wes’s mum, Wes’s been crying for a half hour now! Would you try to see what’s wrong with him?
WES’S MUM: (Looks behind the seat) Oh, dear, he’s got a terrible rash. I'll get the cream, oh, it's behind your seat, i can't reach it.
WES’S DAD: Here, I’ll try…
WES’S MUM: Shouldn’t you watch the road?
8.7 seconds later…
CRRRASSSH!
Nascour and Gonzap climb out of the crashed cheese truck.
NASCOUR: Oh, crap.
GONZAP: Erm, they look pretty dead to me.
NASCOUR: Well, just a little setback. We can still make the Cheddar convention on time. Go hitch a lift, peon.
GONZAP: Okay.
Gonzap flags down a passing car, gets in, and drives off.
NASCOUR: What the--? Gonzap, you idiot, I meant for both of us! Come back here! …Oh, bollocks. (Looks around) Great, no civilization for miles. Well, best start walking.
He wanders off.
In the present.
WES: And that’s it.
RUI: (Waits) That didn’t explain anything.
They leave to see the mayor.
AUDIENCE: Wait, what about the Mirror B --?
No, no, not much time, gotta skip as much as we can, we’re late, we’re late, we’re late!
AUDIENCE: Aww.
Anyway, enter mysterious figure.
NASCOUR: I’m so great!
AUDIENCE: Everyone bow to Master Nascour.
NASCOUR: Now, lets see… you must be… Miss Rui. Gonzap’s told me a lot about you. And your parents. Dentists, aren’t they? (Slits eyes) I hate dentists. (Turns to Wes) Sandy hair… vacant expression… you must be Wes.
WES: Man, does he know me or what? (Grins)
RUI: Why are you wearing a dress?
NASCOUR: It’s a gown, brat.
Rui touches Nascour’s chest.
NASCOUR: Not the paintwork!
RUI: Paint?
NASCOUR: Yes. To get this nice tight effect I simply paint on the top half of the outfit.
RUI: So that’s a skirt then?
NASCOUR: Actually they’re my pajamas. Evice and me just had a sleepover.
Say, how old are you?
NASCOUR: Well, I’ve been told I can play from anywhere from twenty to thirty but on a good day I’m told I can pass for late teens whereas a bad day…
Sorry I asked.
NASCOUR: (Looks down his nose at Wes) I like the looks of you… and not in the perverted way the players must think when I say this line in the game. I’ll see you later I’m sure.
WES: …
NASCOUR: Leader of Cipher, here’s my card. Come if you get lonely. (Smirks) No pressure.
He strides off to his hotel room slash love nest.
RUI: Well, that was unexpected.
ESPEON: I guess you humans all have low standards since your faces are pretty twisted in Pokemon Colosseum.
WES: Why do guys keep hitting on me…?
^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^
A/N: Tother chapters are better i believe, 'specially chapter three D:
Ah, well. Anything to say, say it no or forever hold your breath... until you want to say something eles, heh.
Either here comes the onslaught or nothing at all -_-
X Kazemon
Guitar dude bill
Wandering Rhythmical Phoenix
^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^
I did have a parody here with the Elite Four or Kanto, Johto and Hoenn doing the plot of Shrek2 but i didn't finish it anywhere other than ff.net -_-
Hope this 'script' style is acceptable. Things like this are always funnier in script style and this is set out clear and whatnot... eh.
This has gonnen some good reviews on ff.net so apparently SOME pople find it funny (and sily XD).
Aaaand, don't read if you don't like stereotypes, k? People are just too sensitive.
Author: Yoru Ryu AKA Rainy Day
Rating: PG-13 for occasional language and innuendo
Disclaimer: Yoru owns nothing, so no legal action please. And some jokes here are the result of Nikki who has a great sense of humour XD
A/N: Just to add another humour fic to my collection, it may get silly. I like script style as it can make things even funnier and I don’t see why it isn’t welcomed most places. Let’s see if this goes anywhere…and thanks to Nikki for the flashback scenes--you rule girl.
Pokemon Colosseum
(That's not a rubbish bag; it's Rui!)
(That's not a rubbish bag; it's Rui!)
Act:1
Scene: A low fat feel good bacteria
A Skarmory flies across the screen, we don’t actually know if this is the same Skarmory that the big bad boss man has, nobody explains it, all we know is you never see it again… Perhaps it got itself lodged in the Cliffside? And nobody will ever know nya!
AUNDIENCE: For God’s Sake!
The scene changes to five quintuplets walking round in circles - Lets just say their names are Bill, Phil, Gill, Dill and… Fredwardo and a very uncomfortable looking man.
BOOM!
GONZAP THE CONSTIPATED: Whoa, what was that? Come my Band of Merry Men!
Below grounds… though not under sea level – that’d just be stupid.
WES: I did it!
UMBREON: (Sarcastic) Huzzah…
WES: Now we just have to find that crazy arm thing…
UMBREON: (Sighs)
Completely ignoring the fact that Gonzap The Constipated and his band of Merry Men are on their way down Wes and his black dog thing wander around the room.
UMBREON: Hey, I found it!
WES: Espeon –
UMBREON: Umbreon
WES: - Umbreon, calm down or your gonna get me into trouble.
UMBREON: And breaking and entering isn’t going to get you in trouble?
GONZAP THE CONSTIPATED’S VOICE: WES!
WES: Now you’ve gone and done it.
UMBREON: Sure. Blame the non-human one.
Wes sees three different coloured snag machines in the center of the room.
UMBREON: Didn’t do a very good job about hiding them did they? (Looks around) Not even any guards.
WES: Preccccciouuussssss…
UMBREON: Um.
Wes closely examines the three machines of blue, red and pink. He picks up the red one.
WES: Does this make me look fat?
UMBREON: Of course not. It complements your eyes.
He takes the blue one.
WES: Hows ‘bout this?
UMBREON: Hmmmm… (Scratches chin) I always imagined you a spring shade.
WES: Right you are (Takes the pink one)
AUDIENCE: How stupidly obvious for a boy to take something pink in a humour story…
WES: Now to escape (Throws arm in the air) To the Batmobile, Robin!
Try again.
WES: To the Mystery Machine, Scoob!
Nope.
WES: To the Speedo… ah… I mean Speeder, Umbreon!
Much Better
BOOM!
Gonzap The Constipated runs out and grabs the back of Wes’s Speedo... er… Speeder.
WES: Eheheh, Onwards! (Throws the bike in reverse by accident and runs over Gonzap The Constipated) Eeps. Back to jail for me, hehehe.
The speeder continues its path backwards and through the hole in the building…
AUDIENCE: What hole?
YORU: Oh, did I not mention that part? Yeah, my bad.
… and towards another wall – this time with no hole.
YORU: Happy now?
AUNDIENCE: Hardly! We don’t even want to be here.
Espeon, seeing the cofuffle Wes’ got them into teleports them to the middle of the desert.
CHRISTIAN FUNDAMENTALISTS: We told you! That Espeon is Satan! This proves it! (Wave bibles about)
AUNDIENCE: ‘Cofuffle’?
YORU: it’s a word!
Outskirt stand.
WES: (Eating chips)
AMERICAN AUDIENCE: What the Hell are chips?
BRITISH AUDIENCE: Idiots.
AMERICAN AUDIENCE: Hah! By ‘chips’ they mean ‘French fries’
BRITISH AUDIENCE: Idiots.
Two strange men walk down the ramp of the old Locomotive restaurant, they seem slightly miss-shaped for they’re bending over like hunchbacks.
DUSTY’S VOICE: Thank you, come again!
FOLLY: (Holds hand to head) Oh, what atrocious service. I for one am never returning to this urine soaked Hellhole.
TRUDLY: I disagree. You could’ve called it a ‘Pee pee soaked heck hole’…
FOLLY: Well corrected my four-fingered friend.
TRUDLY: Terribly bad when that bloke tried to fondle me under the table.
FOLLY: The one with pink hair?
TRUDLY: The very same.
FOLLY: Well, I heard he…
WES: (Notices the moving bag in the boot of the van) Hmmmm…
Wes walks over to the moving bag while the two ‘gentlemen’ fervently discuss their terrible experience in the restaurant carriage.
ESPEON: Suspicious…
UMBREON: I concur.
WES: Hmmm…
BAG: (Wiggles) Help me, you moron!
WES: Hmmmm… (Opens bag)
BAG: I can see the light, and it burns!
WES: (Stuffs his chip carton in the bag) Hmmmmm…
BAG: Hey! Don’t throw your rubbish in here!
WES: (Ties the bag up again) Hmmmmm…
BAG: Nooooo!
The two strangers walk back to their van.
FOLLY: OI! (Hits Wes round the back of the head) Keep you filthy hands off of my bag sack!
They leave. Now, inside the locomotive.
Do the Locomotion~
Wes and his purple and black dogs walk over to the counter, the TV comes on.
NEWSREADER: Literally seconds after the ‘Hero’ of this game has made his escape our rag-tag team of news reporters have discovered this blown out building. (Points to a sign) Convenient eh?
SIGN: Team Snagem Headquarters – signed, Supreme Overlord Gonzap!
NEWSREADER: We have yet to determine what this building was used for, however we do suspect it to be smuggling X-rated footage of Prince Charles into the country (shudders)… back to you at the station, Jerry.
JERRY: Thank you, now we have just received some of the footage of Prince Charles. People of a nervous disorder, young children and pregnant women should look away… now.
A random woman in the carriage screams and chucks her teacup at the TV in horror.
DUSTY: HEY!
WOMAN: Sorry…
DUSTY: (Turns to Wes) How may I be of service to you Mr…?
WES: Gotta think of a line fast!
DUSTY: Excuse me?
WES: Wait, did I just say that out loud?
DUSTY: Um (gasps) you’re the ‘Hero’ of the game!
WES: AHHHHHHHH! (Runs out)
DUSTY: Thank you, come again.
The pink haired man who tried to fondle Trudly shuffles out after Wes.
ESPEON: What a shifty character.
WILLIE: I see you are a Pokemon trainer…
UMBREON: (Rolls eyes) What a line.
WES: A... what?
WILLIE: A Pokemon trainer.
WES: Oh, no. I don’t have any Pokemon.
Willie, Espeon and Umbreon stare at Wes a long moment.
WILLIE: What about them then? (Points to the Eons.)
WES: They’re mine? God, I thought they just followed me round ‘cause they had nothing better to do!
UMBREON: I have way better things to do than follow you around!
ESPEON: I don’t…
WILLIE: ANYway! How’d you get them on the motorbike?
WES: Oh, oh! I know that joke! Ahem, POKE ‘EM ON!
WILLIE: What?
WES: How’d you get two Pikachu in a car? Poke ‘em on!
WILLIE: (Ignores him) Would you like to battle?
WES: No, I don’t have any Pokemon! I’ve told you already.
Wes grabs up his belongings and stalks off to the speeder, Espeon and Umbreom follow and they all speed off.
WILLIE: Drat, another through the net.
The next town along Folly and Trudley are struggling under the weight of the mysterious bag.
WES: You do know the rubbish men come by on Wednesdays don’t you?
FOLLY: This ain’t a rubbish bag.
WES: Yeah it is. I put my rubbish in there so therefore it’s a rubbish bag.
TRUDLY: Look! Just shut up, how’re we supposed to do any struggling when you keep distracting us!?
ESPEON: (Uses psychic abilities to throw the bag in a Dumpster) Done and dusted.
BAG: Ow.
No need to get violent.
WES: (Looks around) Who said that?
I did.
WES: Who?
Me.
WES: Hm, I’m hearing things again, just like when that voice told me to kill all my friends, so I did an’ got sent to jail for life and then just like any justice system I’m free and killing friends again after only two months… eh... what were we talking about again?
ESPEON: Who’s is he talking to?
UMBREON: God knows.
FOLLY: Oh I cannot take this anymore! If anybody wants me I’ll be in the VIP lounge!
Folly and Trudly run off leaving their van and the rubbish bag.
BAG: For the last time I am not a rubbish bag!
Dash walks past and drops a sweet wrapper on the floor. Wes picks it up.
WES: Hey, moron! There’s a rubbish bag right there (Points.)
BAG: NOT A RUBBISH BAG!
DASH: Should a rubbish bag talk like that?
WES: It talks? (Spins around)
Everyone walks over to it and Wes picks up a pointy stick and pokes it.
WES: Pokey, pokey.
A muffled curse from the bag and a hand grabs the pokey stick through the material and shakes it about violently.
WES: Oh God it’s sucking me in!
ESPEON: Just let go of the stick, genius.
UMBREON: (Smacks Wes for insubordination)
YORU: See? I told you he was just an innocent victim.
AUDIENCE: Bloody sympathizer.
Wes opens the bag and Rui jumps out.
RUI: For the sake of my reputation as a medium I would first like to say I don’t stand for violence of any sort…
Rui smacks Wes.
RUI: And that I am not a rubbish character you can just run away from. No, no I follow you everywhere. There is no escape from my hauntingly big eyes that will follow you around the room, no. No escape at all! Muhahahaha! Think the Mona Lisa on Prozac...
It’s true. I always try to lose you in Agate but whenever I go into a house you suddenly appear… must be a time traveler. Tell me, are you Doctor Who?
RUI: Doctor who?
Exactly.
ESPEON: Does she have a Tardis?
UMBREON: I reckon she uses that rubbish bag.
RUI: I do not travel in time! My pet can though… have you met Celebi?
AUDIENCE: If she were an original character and had a Celebi people’d say she was a Mary-Sue now.
And that isn’t fair. Just because an original character has a Legendary doesn’t mean they’re all high and mighty!
RUI: Oh you’re just getting uppy ‘cause every character in ‘The Dragon Homeland’ has a Legendary Pokemon.
Well, yes… but most of the main characters aren’t original anyway…
RUI: Excuses, excuses…
Can we get back on track please?
RUI: So tell me, Wes. Why’d you join Team Snagem? (Mutters) Like I already don’t know.
WES: Well, a lot of people say I was an abused child or orphaned but I can’t remember which…
I think I’ll go for abused first… hit it, Wes!
WES: Yes, I was an abused child in the past…
ESPEON: I feel a flashback coming on.
UMBREON: Now look what you’ve done!
Ten years earlier…
WES’S MUM: (Screams at Wes)
WES’S DAD: (Smacks Wes over the head with a two-by-four)
BOTH: Hot damn, we’re awful.
KIDDIE WES: Pity me, pity meeeee!
Back to the present. And now we’ll try with orphaned.
WES: And then my parents where killed in an accident on the roads…
Eighteen years ago.
A road through the middle of nowhere. A cheese truck speeds along, a pale gray man with wild purple hair and glowing red eyes is at the wheel. Next to him sits a single passenger reading a roadmap.
NASCOUR: Gonzap, have you figured out that accursed map yet?
GONZAP: I’m trying, sir.
NASCOUR: You’ve been trying for 20 minutes. We’ll have missed our exit; let me see that map!
GONZAP: Shouldn’t you watch the road?
Nascour yanks the map away.
NASCOUR: Hmmmm…
Meanwhile, in a mini headed the opposite direction…
WES’S DAD: Wes’s mum, Wes’s been crying for a half hour now! Would you try to see what’s wrong with him?
WES’S MUM: (Looks behind the seat) Oh, dear, he’s got a terrible rash. I'll get the cream, oh, it's behind your seat, i can't reach it.
WES’S DAD: Here, I’ll try…
WES’S MUM: Shouldn’t you watch the road?
8.7 seconds later…
CRRRASSSH!
Nascour and Gonzap climb out of the crashed cheese truck.
NASCOUR: Oh, crap.
GONZAP: Erm, they look pretty dead to me.
NASCOUR: Well, just a little setback. We can still make the Cheddar convention on time. Go hitch a lift, peon.
GONZAP: Okay.
Gonzap flags down a passing car, gets in, and drives off.
NASCOUR: What the--? Gonzap, you idiot, I meant for both of us! Come back here! …Oh, bollocks. (Looks around) Great, no civilization for miles. Well, best start walking.
He wanders off.
In the present.
WES: And that’s it.
RUI: (Waits) That didn’t explain anything.
They leave to see the mayor.
AUDIENCE: Wait, what about the Mirror B --?
No, no, not much time, gotta skip as much as we can, we’re late, we’re late, we’re late!
AUDIENCE: Aww.
Anyway, enter mysterious figure.
NASCOUR: I’m so great!
AUDIENCE: Everyone bow to Master Nascour.
NASCOUR: Now, lets see… you must be… Miss Rui. Gonzap’s told me a lot about you. And your parents. Dentists, aren’t they? (Slits eyes) I hate dentists. (Turns to Wes) Sandy hair… vacant expression… you must be Wes.
WES: Man, does he know me or what? (Grins)
RUI: Why are you wearing a dress?
NASCOUR: It’s a gown, brat.
Rui touches Nascour’s chest.
NASCOUR: Not the paintwork!
RUI: Paint?
NASCOUR: Yes. To get this nice tight effect I simply paint on the top half of the outfit.
RUI: So that’s a skirt then?
NASCOUR: Actually they’re my pajamas. Evice and me just had a sleepover.
Say, how old are you?
NASCOUR: Well, I’ve been told I can play from anywhere from twenty to thirty but on a good day I’m told I can pass for late teens whereas a bad day…
Sorry I asked.
NASCOUR: (Looks down his nose at Wes) I like the looks of you… and not in the perverted way the players must think when I say this line in the game. I’ll see you later I’m sure.
WES: …
NASCOUR: Leader of Cipher, here’s my card. Come if you get lonely. (Smirks) No pressure.
He strides off to his hotel room slash love nest.
RUI: Well, that was unexpected.
ESPEON: I guess you humans all have low standards since your faces are pretty twisted in Pokemon Colosseum.
WES: Why do guys keep hitting on me…?
^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^
A/N: Tother chapters are better i believe, 'specially chapter three D:
Ah, well. Anything to say, say it no or forever hold your breath... until you want to say something eles, heh.
Either here comes the onslaught or nothing at all -_-
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.. which I painted gold and can throw like a holy hand grenade. *coughs* *did not steal that from monty python*