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Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Polls' started by Gelatino95, Feb 15, 2012.

  1. Gelatino95

    Gelatino95 Not a tool

    I don't see a jokes thread for a couple pages. We definitely need one.

    Let's start with a science joke: What three elements are cats made of?

    [spoil]Iron, Lithium, and Neon


    Another one:

    Two guys walk into a bar. One of them orders H2O. The other guy says, "I think I'll have some H2O too."

    He died.
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2012
  2. Mister_SGG

    Mister_SGG Well-Known Member

    Oh, oh, me first

  3. Eternalserenity

    Eternalserenity Wanderer

    A man walks into a bar, and he says, "OW!"
  4. Moneyy

    Moneyy INACTIVE

    Cations (yes I know it's not necessarily an element)

    Please don't start the penis talk again.
  5. *IZ*

    *IZ* Well-Known Member

    For some reason this was funnier than the OP's jokes.
  6. Eternalserenity

    Eternalserenity Wanderer

    A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest looks at the rabbi and says, "Hey, did you hear the one about us?"
  7. Tyranitarquake

    Tyranitarquake HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAX!!!

    I don't get it.

    A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of water. The bartender gets a gun out and shoots at the ceiling. The guy says thank you and walks out. Yeah yeah.. There should be a riddles thread.
  8. Grey Wind

    Grey Wind Only rescues maidens

    What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?


    Probably not the best joke, but it cracks me up every time.
  9. Gelatino95

    Gelatino95 Not a tool

    Anti-jokes are incredibly boring.

    If it's not an element, then it's not the answer. Did you check the spoiler?

    The second guy says "H2O too" which sounds like H2O2, which is hydrogen peroxide.

    Because for some reason people think it's funny to hate on Gelatino. Which is kind of true.
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2012
  10. Mister_SGG

    Mister_SGG Well-Known Member

    Now for a real joke.

    Two guys are hosting a barbecue, and they start preparing the meat. One of them is cutting up some ribs, and he separates two sections. He says, "This is the male part, this is the female part." To which the other guy replies, "What's the difference?" The other guy says, "The male part has a bone."
  11. RivalsByNature

    RivalsByNature Lalala Not Listening

    Does a funny pickup line count as a joke?

    Hey, I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.

    Yeah, I can't think of anything better.
  12. Mister_SGG

    Mister_SGG Well-Known Member

    hehee that's a good one. Well not really but it made me chuckle.
  13. Tyranitarquake

    Tyranitarquake HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAX!!!

    This is the only joke on the page that made me giggle. I have no idea why.

    They've changed the pronounciation of Uranus. It's pronounced Ura-nus now instead of Your Anus. That's what TV told me.

    There was a joke about that too:

    Guy 1: You know Uranus is pronounced Ura-nus now?

    Guy 2: Really? Why?

    Guy 1: I never got to the bottom of it.
  14. Kacho

    Kacho You are next.

    The crab, right?

    to OP:
    *insert comment about how you can google a whole bunch of chemistry jokes*
    I have actually seen that one already, heh.
    you welcome ;)
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2012
  15. ShadeShadow

    ShadeShadow (>^.^)>(;_;)<(^.^<)

    2 blondes walked into a bar. you think one of them wouldve seen it.

    A pirate walks into a bar. the bartender asks, whats with the steering wheel in your pants? the pirate says, AAAARRRRGG its driving me nuts!!!

    ... yeah theyre bad...
  16. abrar14

    abrar14 Statter Master

    This thread is a joke

    Lol jk
  17. Primal Crusader V

    Primal Crusader V Watch some MANime

    Here's one my dad taught me when I was at least 6 years old

    What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean?
    Nothing, they just waved

    Here's one that my dad taught me when I was 11 years old

    Two truck drivers are on a High way. One truck driver is delivering a stock of Mexican food and the other is delivering Chinese Food. Suddenly, the Mexican truck swerves towards the Chinese truck, then both of them crash. The Mexican truck ended up leaking this strange, yellow substance that the chinese driver found intersting. He then dips his hand into it and says:

    "Wow, is this a new recipe?"

    The mexican driver responds, "No, it's Nacho Cheese!"
    The Chinese driver looked sad, then replied, "You selfish pig. It's a free country!"
  18. Moneyy

    Moneyy INACTIVE

    Yeah, I did. I was just trying to make a lame attempt at an alternate answer to that joke.

    Best joke so far.
  19. Gelatino95

    Gelatino95 Not a tool

    This one is probably the best I've seen so far. Actually made me laugh.

    Those weren't from Google, they were from Chemistry Cat. I like my image macros.
  20. disposable_heroes

    disposable_heroes <- Best PKMN Ever

    How many theoretical physicists does it take to change a light bulb?

    Two: one to hold it in place, and the other to rotate the universe.

    What do you call a joke involving cobalt, radon, and yttrium?

    Last edited: Feb 16, 2012

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