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Journey of 1000 miles. Chapter One up.

  • Thread starter Raichu_Trainer_Chris
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R

Raichu_Trainer_Chris

Guest
Journey of 1000 miles. Chapter Four up.

OK Im giving this fanfic writing another try. I actually paid attention in English, so I should have most of it down. Rated PG at first for mild violence, but PG-13 later on because things start to get messy, for lack of a better word. In addition to that there will be nudity, and extreme violence towards the end of this particular volumn. Once I'm finished with this, and get mild-great reviews then I will create, a sequel, and hopefully a prequel.
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Chapter One: The beginning



A wise man once said that the journey of one thousand miles begins with one step.

At the time his philosophies weren't greatly understood, but as time passed.

People began to grasp what his words meant.

What he meant was that the victory layed not in the destination, but the journey.

Also as we travel down that path, we should take time to acknowledge, and understand the wondurous world we inhabit while we can.

For as another wise man put it:

One should have insight into this world of dreams that passes in the twinkling of an eye.




The morning sky seared beautiful shades of pink, purple, and blue as the early morning sun greeted the planet. The ocean below gently lapped the sandy beach along the coastline, various early morning tidal Pokemon emerged form thier tide pools to feed. A red Krabby was strafing along when it was picked up by a sea-going Pidgeotto, these birds weren't native to the shore, but apparently this one had developed a taste for crab.


Hidden by the lush forest growth a large building loomed in the shadows, its tinted sliding glass doors made seeing inside impossible. A figure entered the compound stealthily.Chris heaved a sigh, and brushed his short, black hair once again to ensure his waves stayed intact before putting his hood back up. He stood over six foot which when coupled with his long arms, legs, and his lanky frame made him tower above the other cadets. He also was one of about four upper-classmen entering these exams so he would have a place in Team Rockets ranks, so this made him somewhat surrounded by an air of apprehension, sweat dripped down his milk chocolaty skin in pools.

Even though he was sure he would pass preliminary round he was still nervous, and walked down the hall in silence. His baggy, blue sweat pants made a swishing sound as he quickly walked down the silvery halls which were lined with lights, and camera's whose lenses seemed to him as an all-seeing eye. Raichu broke the silence of walking down the halls of Team Rockets Oceanic Training Facility.


“Raichu-rai, Raichu.”


“Chu…” Raichu sighed, and hopped a little, signifying to Chris that it at least wanted to be carried for this.


“You know, Sparky,” Chris said as he picked up Raichu, “You’re lucky that you can at least get away with asking for that."
Chris placed the brown, and yellow mouse on his shoulders: its wiry tail hanging down his back, and continued walking down the hall, until he accidently bumped into a higher ranking officer.


"I'm sorry ma'am!" Chris said as he quickly stood at attention, his black sunglasses nearly coming off.


The woman was quite attractive dressed in a white top with a red "R" that showed her midsection, as well as a white mini-skirt with white stockings. She looked him raven streams he could see her piercing blue eyes. He noticed her nametag read Juliet as she bent over to pick up the Manila folder she had dropped all the while staring at him until she continued walking down the silvery halls. Chris continued with Raichu on his shoulder, the lightning bolt on the end of its tail waving to-and-fro all the while as he walked. At the end of the hall was the battle room, where the qualifications would be held.


"It was nothing spectacular." He thought to himself.


The room was hardwood with a red, and white pokeball in the middle, with bleachers on both sides of the room, and a board on the wall that vaguely resembled a scoreboard. The beige floor glistened like ground newly stained with the morning dew as the cadets filed in.



Juliet turned into the operations room, where two other Rocket members lounged in two of the chairs. Both were dressed in white uniforms similar to hers, except the woman’s was black around the midsection instead of bare, and Andrew's white shirt was open. Melanie slid the enveloped file across the conference table towards Andrew as she pushed a long strand of her red hair out of the way.


“That’s really our assignment? Not much there, just a short bio on Charlie Evans—which we already knew back and front—and photos of him and that blue-haired boy he’s with. Lack of information and all.”


“Blue-haired girl,” Juliet said absentmindedly.


“Eh?” Andrew questioned.


“That’s a girl.” Melanie quickly retrieved the envelope, opened it, and looked at the picture.


“You’re not serious.”


“I am. Intel is still working on her identity, their search bots are down, remember, but we have confirmed she is indeed a girl.” Juliet smirked.


“Hard to believe,” Melanie said.


“Yeah,” replied Juliet, staring off into space, “How hard can it be to identify a guy that looks like that, is roughly 6’ 0” or so based on how he measures to you, and has red hair. Can't be many people like him.”


"So whats the next course of action?" Melanie wanted to know.


“Another mission to go after Charlie most likely.” Andrew said after a short pause as he leaned back in his chair. “Those are fun. We’ve lost like, what was it, four agents so far to him? He’s good at giving agents over to the various Jennies, you know.”


“We’re not looking at grabbing his relics this time,” Juliet said. “Giovanni’s had too much trouble with him so far that his entering the Neo League and possibly finding out about Project Virgil is too much of a risk. So, hospitalize him.” He said, flinging his short black hair for dramamtic effect.


“And the other, uh, girl?” Melanie asked.


“Oh, her too. Yeah, hospital.” Melanie nodded her head, and got up to leave the room, as she exited she heard sounds coming from down the hall.


"Must be the qualification round for cadets, couldn't hurt to check it out." She told herself. She entered the hall hoping she was just in time to see an impressive fight.

~~~~~~~~~~~


It was now Chris's turn to battle, he nervously stepped up to see a brunette boy of about eighteen with calm black eyes who came up to Chris's shoulder. Chris shifted his sunglasses nervously, whatever happened he could not take them off. The referee was an officer named Domino who sat on a heightened chair, running her fingers through her curly hair that fell in buttery curls around her ears in the same attire Juliet had worn.


Chris's anxiety almost boiled over, but on the surface he had managed to appear calm, and composed; not an easy feat. He stared down his opponent from behind the sunglasses hoping to somehow read his face, and get a glimpse of what he was planning. He had read texts on how your enemies basic expression can reveal exactly what they are planning, and that if you are focused enoughed you would be able to discern them...


"You may begin!" Domino called out.


Chase sent out Charizard as a starter. The beam of light took the shape of a winged dinosaur before fading away revealing its red color. The dragon let out a monstrous roar, and spread its wings as the fire on its tail began to burn even more brightly. Looking at the beast, Chris remembered it was part flying, so it would fall to a strong rock attack, or a full-on physical move.


"Hm, I if I remember correctly, that Charizard suffered an injury in its neck, so I'll exploit that." Chris said as he ran his fingers along the small, red, and white spheres at his side.



"Bagon, its time!" He cried as he released his dragon Pokemon. The tiny blue dragon raised up further on its muscular hind legs revealing its orange belly, its short, stubby arms ending in cutely clawed hands that scratched at its snout.



“Charizard, Flamethrower!” Chase shouted, taking the offensive. The fire dragon spewed a gout of flame at the Bagon, but the baby dragon was faster and dodged it.



"Dragon Claw!" He ordered. Bagon lept into the air, and delivered a staggering claw attack that sent Charizard reeling, but it did not fall. Charizard flew into the air to try to escape, but was brought down by a well placed deluge of water attack, seeing as Bagon had resided in an aquatic habitat most of its life, so it would make sense Chris would try to tap into that experience.



The huge dinosaur glared at the baby dragon with anger blazing in its eyes. Charizard managed to get to its feet in time to dodge a second Dragon Claw.


"Charizard, Metal Claw!" Chase ordered. The huge dragon raised its sharp clawed hand, and brought it down swiftly on the baby dragon. Bagon's breathing was ragged, but it was still alive.



"You did your best, rest now." Chris said as he recalled his baby dragon. Next Chris led out his strongest Pokemon, none other than Sparky the Raichu.



"Alright Sparky, its weak so just use twenty-five percent of your power for a Spark attack!" Chris commanded.



Raichu nodded, and launched a yellow bolt of lightning at Charizard, which struck it in the neck. The dragon fell down hard, breathing heavily, and didn’t move. Chase recalled it and threw out another pokéball.



“Nidoking, your turn!" The Nidoking stood over six feet tall, and its back was covered in long, sharp spikes, not unlike the one on top of its head that resembled a unicorn horn. Chris eyed the spiny purple creature with derision, watching as its enormous tail waved to, and fro like some immense serpent.



"Nidoking, Earthquake!" Chase yelled.



“Jump it and use your hidden power!” Chris shouted, as Raichu had to struggle to maintain his balance in the ensuing tremor. None-the-less it did as it was commanded to, however, and Nidoking was frozen in a block of ice.



"This is the one attack I couldn't control." Chris said to himself. It burned him up to believe an attack with such a simple name had eluded him for so long.



Enough Games. Chris thought. "Finish this!" The mouse nodded, and responded by launching a fierce Mega Punch in the direction of the already very weak Nidoking, it still didn't fall.



"What sort of beast is this?" Chris asked himself, but commanded Raichu to charge itself with electricity, then tackle the Nidoking, resulting in the enormous beast crashing to the ground.



Chris brushed his extremely short hair a little.“Give up, yet?.” His opponent glared.



“Yeah right. Kingler your turn!” The pokeball revealed a large crab Pokemon that was colored similar to its pre-evolved, but the similarities ended there. On the left it had a normal sized pincer, something you'd expect, but on the right it had an enormous pincher about ten times the size of the left. Chris knew Raichu didn't need him to tell him how to win this fight, so he crossed his arms, and let Raichu run around Kingler, dodging its attack all the while tiring it out.



"Kingler, Bubblebeam!" Without even giving time for the command to leave its trainers mouth, the huge crab let off a stream of colorful bubbles that struck Raichu head-on, though only serving as to anger it.



"Enough! Kingler, Crabhammer!" Chase was quite angry at him being made sport of. Kingler threw its claw at Raichu with all its might, but the mouse deftly dodged the attack without much effort on his part, Kingler attempted a second Crabhammer, but this time it wasn't as fast.



"Kingler, whats wrong? Chase was puzzled. "Attack, quit dragging along."



Chris snickered."Chase, you should know when Kingler swings its big claw around, it gets tired far more easily. This match is mine!"



“Sparky, just use Thunderbolt and end this.”



Raichu deftly jumped aside from the huge claw and launched a yellow bolt of lightning at Kingler, which struck it in the face. The crab fell down hard, and didn’t move. Chase recalled it sorrowfully.



"You may now stop." Domino said, running her fingers through her curly hair that fell in buttery curls around her ears.



"Chris you have completed the qualification round for entering the graduation exams, you may step down."



Now he breathed again, elated that he'd made it, and also happy that he had recieved credits for not losing more than a single Pokemon. Melanie was somewhat impressed as she turned to walk away, she had a job to do.


Chris now silent again began walking off toward his room where he would be for the next hour, or so training, studying, and meditating. The exams would not be easy, and if wanted to make an impression, he would have to be at his best, and since they would all be going against one another he couldn't help wondering just what could potentially happen.



Before he left the room, he shot a glance over in the direction of Melina, a super sexy latina of about seventeen, who stood about five foot eight, a rescpetable hieght. Her maple eyes perfectly complimented her olive skin, he was thinking. She was the top student of the class, and guaranteed a spot as an administrator over thier affairs in Goldenrod, should she graduate from the academy. Chris was about to stalk off before he heard her voice.


"Chris, that was a pretty good match." She congratulated


"Thanks, I guess." He returned a bit shyly.


"You're welcome, but I have one question?"


"Sure, ask away."


"Why is it everytime I see you, you're wearin those sunglasses?" She inquired.


"Not to be rude." Chris went silent for a moment before he could answer her question.


"It's a long story, maybe one day I'll tell you." He said somewhat somberly.


"Hm, I think I will take you up on that, later." And with that she walked back over to her clique that she always was with.


Chris smiled to himself, and finally exited the room toward his quarters, he had training to do.


--------------------------
Well we are off to a good start, with Chris now being able to take the exams that would allow him a spot on Team Rocket. Sorry for the lack of action, but trust me as things go along, and as the plot advances you will see fierce battle, see some friends becoming enemies, and vice-versa. Sorry about the uber Raichu, but its my favorite Pokemon, and I don't like it fainting so early in the story.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

katiekitten

The Compromise
It's ok, but it needs a bit of work...

The good point I have here is that it has good dialogue. You just need to build on it, this is looking kinda scripty. One word can fix that all. Description. Explain to us what the surroundings lok like, go in more detail about what clothes they are wearing, what the pokemon look like. It really fills up your fic, makes it longer and, if written in an enticing way, can get you fans through out a whole story. Take the beginning for example. Where is Chris? In the middle of the ocean? In hawai wearing a hoola skirt? Describe. Let me have a go...

Chris sighed, running his fingers through his already tossled hair that fell in silvery curls around his ears. He shifted from one foot to the other nervously, sweat beading up on his coal black skin. He was just over six feet tall, a mighty height that, accompanied with his long legs and arms, made him seem like a burnt scare crow...

Now, from that you can tell his hair color, that he is black, his height, and that he was nervous. How old is he? What color is his hair? (I guessed) That is the type of thing we need to see.

Another point, numbers and metric systems. Always remember that Serebii has a mixed group of people from all over the world and some of us are confused by the speech marks and apostrophies that replace feet and inches. Write them out, and numbers. It is neater, and people prefer it, trust me. So instead of 6' 2" it becomes six feet and two inches.

Ok, on to the pokemon battle. I don't want to sound harsh, but since when does a Raichu know fire punch and surf? Please don't use the excuse: Its a Surfing Raichu! Because I go by the games, and guess what? No surfing Pikachu's. The battle ended to quickly for my liking, his Riachu seemed slightly uber. A charizard would have been trained to level 30+ and would not be so easily defeated. Same goes for the Nidoking. Think it over next time, if you need help, feel free to ask me.

In most of it, good spelling and grammer, but at the end there is a weird "uo". I'll quote it below...

"Hm, I think I will take you uo on that, later."

Maybe you should proof read it again, because I am seeing a few more mistakes... Oh, one last thing. It seems at the moment that your character is verging on a gary-stu. He's a little perfect. Easily fixed, though.

This was ok, but it could use some work. Focus on some of the points I pointed out, Description in particular, and you'll be well on your way top becoming a better writer! :)
 

Psychic

Really and truly
I've only started reading this, and my eyes already hurt.
You should know right off the bat how we structure paragraphs here. Every time you start a new paragraph, skip TWO LINES. You can't indent lines, making it hard to see where a paragraph begins and ends. If you want to signify a change in scenery or something that takes place at another time, skip two/three lines. (Note that a new paragraph is created EVERY TIME SOMEONE SPEAKS.)
Numbers should not be written out as 1, 2, 7, 13, etc.; they must be written out as words. One, two, seven, thirteen all the way to ninety-nine, I believe.

Oh, and ALL of this should have been written on Microsoft Word (or a similar program). I believe you only wrote half on the program, the other half in the reply box. That is bad. You don't want to have any mistakes in your fics.



Now, your description. There isn't much. In fanfiction, we try to describe everything. This includes scenery, objects, humans and yes, Pokémon.
I didn't see you describe any of these things. We don't know where this story is taking place any of the time. You SAY it's some kind of Team Rocket HQ, but you don't describe any of it, so how do we know if what it loks like? Maybe the floor is all grassy and covered in daisies, the walls are stained glass windows and there are huge holes in the red and yellow striped roof!

The human characters. Here and there you said one person had blue eyes, some kid had brown hair and so on, but what about their skin? How tall/short they are ? How thin/large they are? (Oh, and NEVER GIVE AN EXACT HEIGHT AND WEIGHT.) The color of their skin? And clothing. My Lord, don't get me started. Look, NEVER, EVER COMPARE SOMETHING, ANYTHING, TO A CHARACTER NOT MADE BY YOU. Meaning that you say that the uniforms are ''similar to those of Cassidy and Butch''. Well, you have to pretend we don't know who they are. I myself don't. I don't watch the Animé, so I have never seen the clothing of these two individuals. Do they wear an army shirt with clown pants and ugg boots? WE DON'T KNOW IF YOU DON'T TELL US. I've seen Mewtwo Returns, so I saw that Rocket members wore a black shirt with a red R on it, black pants, a black hat that covers their eyes, white gloves and white boots. If that's what these characters are wearing, why didn't you just say so?

Pokémon. In fanfics, we describe what they look like. The writer has to pretend the readers don't know about Pokémon, and have never seen a Charizard or Raichu.
I'll give you an example of what you did, and how you can spice it up. Basically, you wrote like this:
Phil told his Weepinbell to use Sleep Powder on a wild Nidoran.
So right away we ask: Who is Phil and what does he look like? What is a Weepinbell? What is a Nidoran? What is Sleep Powder and what is it like when Weepinbell uses it?
Well, if you add description, it will look more like this:
A young man with a dark blue mohawk upon his otherwise clean shaven head fiddled with the material of his green, camouflage shirt. He eyed the spiky blue creature in front of him with disdain. It appeared to be nibbling on one of its large ears, which it held between its two tiny paws, with long little teeth, causing the whiskers on its cheeks to bounce up and down. The Female Nidoran's back was covered in spikes, not unlike the one that sat atop its head.

"Aren't you a nasty little bugger?" Phil asked it, sneering, as he reached for a round, red and white sphere on his black belt. He ran his hand along the cold, smooth surface for a moment before he plucked the Pokéball off his belt.

"Go, Weepinbell!" he cried, throwing the ball onto the grassy ground. There was a flash of red light, which took the form of what resembled a bell. This seemed to catch the Poison Point Pokémon's attention, she stopped chewing her ear and her head snapped to face the odd being that was materializing front of her. The light faded to reveal that the creature had a yellow body, the bottom of which being a light red almost like a lip. Two leaves grew out of the sides of the Weepinbell, the same color as a few spots on the yellow body, under a little brown stem and over two dim eyes.

"Bell, Weepin-bell!" It cried, waving its twin leaves around threateningly.

"All right, put it to sleep with a Sleep Powder!" Phil barked. At this, Weepinbell fell onto his back, showing the Nidoran his underside, which was hollow. This appeared to spark her interest even more, so she took a cautious step towards Weepinbell. At this, he released a cloud of blue powder from his hollow underside, right in the Nidoran's face! She recoiled in horror, scratching at her face with tiny claws, as if trying to make the powder go away. Soon, however, her paws fell to her sides and her eyes started drooping. She looked as if she would Headbutt Weepinbell for a moment, but she collapsed onto the ground, snoring gently.
See? I could have easily said that as: Phil told his Weepinbell to use Sleep Powder on a wild Nidoran. but the way I did it, you were able to visualise the scene in your head! You know what a Weepinbell and Nidoran is, you know who Phil is and what he looks like and you know what it looks like when Weepinbell uses Sleep Powder.


Your characters are bland and don't have much of a personality, and the Pokémon range on being PokéBots (lifeless robots that have no brain, no soul and are perfectly obedant). And I think Chris might end up a Gary-Stu and Melina is pretty much a Mary-Sue, seeing as she has a perfect body and is so smart.
And then you introduce Domino. I may know who she is, but what about people who never saw Mewtwo Returns? How should they know who she is?! Describe her! Describe EVERY character! It doesn't matter if it's a fic about Ash and Pikachu! DESCRIBE ALL THE PEOPLE AND ALL THE POKEMON!


Not much of a plot yet, but I'm sure Melina will fall in love with Chris or vice-versa, while Chris goes and does well with whatever he does and becomes a top Rocket agent. I don't much like where this fic is going.



Go back and read Advise for Aspiring Authors and check out some of the popular five-star fics by the better, more popular authors around here before you continue.

~Psychic
 
R

Raichu_Trainer_Chris

Guest
Chapter Two

Jacey trudged through the streets of Vermillion, which was becoming very annoying because no matter which way she seemed to turn, the sun was glaring in her eyes. She decided about three seconds after just out and covering them that that wasn’t the brightest decision she ever made.

She blew a few strands of her, chestnut hair out of her face, so she could see where she was going. Her sunglasses concealing her hazel eyes. She walked along, Vermilion wasn't exactly a busy city, but since it was a port city things weren't boring most of the time. An old man had built a business with his own two hands, a business that turned out quite well. She could see why the city got its name, as she walked along the coast, at the angle she stood the sea appeared green.

“Oh, sorry,” said the guy she bumped into. “Wasn’t looking where I was going.”


“No,” Jacey said quickly as she walked on, “my fault.”


A hand on her shoulder stopping her, she looked at the guy who stopped her. He had short, blondish-white hair, although clearly not from age, since he looked only seventeen. Despite his young appearance, his green eyes seemed to convey a constant sense of weariness, and the sun made his light skin look that much paler, and he stood above her by a few inches about, and she was about five foot six.

“You’re that girl who let the Space Center know what it had really brought back, aren’t you?” The strange man asked.



“Yeah, so?” She asked.



“I’ve actually heard a lot about you,” the guy said offhandedly. “Pokémon Master and all. You’re from Olivine City, right?”



“Yeah…” Sam didn’t know where this was going and she wasn’t too anxious to find out.”



“You heading back there any time soon?” He asked. His tight-fitting blue jeans seemed a little faded in the sunlight.



“Why?”



“It’d just sound odd,” the guy said. “But could you just please answer the question?”



“Yes, I was just going back there, so why?”



“Well,” said the guy, “it’s kind of strange to actually say it, but it’s just that I wanted to meet your brother.”




A sweatdrop roughly the size of a baseball appeared on Jacey’s head. “You don’t say.”



“Well I was just wondering if you’d take me along so I could, you know?” The guy seemed pretty nonchalant and he didn’t seem like he was up to anything.



“Who are you?”



“Oh, yeah, guess you kinda want to know. The name’s Ryan, as in the Water trainer who took fourth last League.”



“Oh you’re Ryan,” Sam said. “I’d read about you, saw your name in the rankings. Always imagined you looking a bit different.”He shrugged.


“Uh, yeah, well… oh how about I just go about paying for our boat tickets eh?”



Taking that opportunity to excuse himself, Ryan quickly got himself lost in the line. Jacey, who was very intelligent about most things but clueless as to the subtleties of people, just stood there dumbstruck.



“Man, girl,” She told herself, “you just seem to meet all the weird people in this world.”



Jacey eventually found him again, his black shirt allowed her to see him on the sunny amidst all the light colors. He had indeed paid for both their boat tickets on the S.S. Aqua, which would make the trip to Olivine in about a week.



As they boarded the ship, Jacey was awestruck by the sheer beauty of the vessel, the deck was made of a fine hardwood that shined like amber when the sun struck it. The deck was full of passengers eager to begin thier trip, and as she loked around her she began to notice other things as well, like the pool, the dance hall, and that the dining room was furninshed with tapestries she had never seen before, the floor was also an expensive kind of wood, Cedar maybe.



Throughout the trip, Ryan, through the normal conversation and general overall friendliness, kept on bombarding her with questions about her brother, and not even questions that made much sense for a normal person to be asking. They were all questions about what he was like, or what things he liked, or how he acted towards his Pokémon.

“Or,” Jacey thought to herself in disgust upon going through another of those conversations, “Ryan should be asking how Vega takes weird people who ask way too many questions.”


She glanced at her watch. 11:47 AM, and the date, which she’d since lost all mental track of, seemed to be the date for the noontime arrival in Olivine. Give it a few more hours so she could take Ryan to meet Vega, then a few minutes for Vega to get rid of Ryan, and then she’d never have to see that weirdo again.



“The S.S. Aqua has arrived in Olivine City,” the voice over the PA announced. “All passengers should be prepared to depart in ten minutes.”



Ryan hoisted his small backpack up over his shoulder and stood up at the table they’d been eating lunch at. “Well then, I’d say we should be going.”



Jacey stood up. “Yes, let’s.”



She called Alex on her cell phone and let him know they were about to arrive. Walking off the ship with Ryan they were greeted in about five minutes by her mother. Olivine was more bustling than she remembered it, the streets were far more crowded than before, and an extremely tall building was erected in the distance.



“Oh great,” Her mom said with much enthusiasm. “Jacey, you’ve actually brought someone I haven't met before and isn’t out to get you.”



Her mother bore a striking resemblance to her in the sense that she had the same eye color, but was somewhat taller.
“Have you met Vega before?” Jacey asked, as Ryan walked over and petted Azumarril, who was being carried by her mom.
“Somewhat,” He said. “Last Pokémon League. Said he had some stuff to do, but I agreed to go through the Neo-Hoenn League with him when he was done, so we could qualify for the World Cup.”



Jacey looked from Ryan to Azumarril, then to Ryan again, at a loss for words. The mouse with her mom had blue, and white bubble patterns on its stomach, as well as a wiry tail that ended in a blue ball, that seemed dispoportionate to its three foot body. Its long blue ears drooped over its face. He tried to stifle a chuckle, but trying to wound up with it being a single amused snort instead.


“Guess I should have said earlier, eh? That’s why I was asking you so many questions, to see if Vega had changed any, and to fill in some stuff I didn’t know about him. Think about it, though, would you have believed me if I’d told you?”



“No,” Jacey said after a minute of thinking. “Wait, you said Neo-Hoenn League?”



“Yeah,” Ryan said. “Lot of two-on-two trainer battles, so you need two people. Plus it’s really tough, so finding someone willing to go is really hard too. Remember, I asked you but you said we weren’t anywhere near good enough?”



“Wait, before,” Ryan said to Jacey, “You said I wasn’t out to get you. Who was?”



“Oh,” Jacey's mom said. “Just someone she, and Vega once knew who turned out to be a Team Rocket member. He tried to kill me. He was in prison before, or at least I thought he was; he’s out now, but I’m pretty sure he isn’t trying to kill me again.”



Ryan smirked in amusement.



“Don’t worry. I won’t let anything happen to ya.”




“Oh all right,” Jacey said in indignation, storming off. “If Vega wants to spend a year with this...freak, then tell him to be my guest. Call me when you’re done and I’ll never have to hear from or about him again.”



Both of them watched as Jacey stormed off toward the city, leaving them both somewhat dumbfounded.




“Listen to me,” Ryanl said after a short pause, putting his hand on Jacey’s mom's shoulder. “I really don’t think any worse of you just because your daughter hates me. I actually don’t care how badly she thinks of me.”



“Yeah, well,” She replied, “it’s mostly that I feel kinda bad because getting shouted at that badly must’ve hurt.”Ryan shrugged.



“I’m used to that, I guess. People keep on thinking I’m creepy just because I look different than most people, you know, pale skin and grey hair and all. Don’t feel bad for me, really.”



Azumarril, who was sitting on the ground, turned to face Ryan. “Azumarril-mar, Azumarril, Azumarril, mar-mar, Azumarril.”
Ryan blinked.



"Oh, basicly Azumarril says don't worry about." She said comfortingly, Ryan smiled weakly.



"By the way, is Vega at home?" He asked with a gleam in his eye.



"I'm sorry he hasn't been home in 3 weeks, saying something about the Neo-Hoenn League, or something." She told him, her yellow sundress blowing in the slight breeze. Ryan looked crestfallen at hearing this, and thanked her before walking off toward Olivine trying to decide what he would do next.


~~~~~~~~


Jacey trudged toward the local Pokemon Market for supplies, having just purchased a new outfit. The wind picked up causing her hair to billow into her face making her somewhat uncomfortable. The day was uncerimoniuosly humid, but thankfully her skin-tight jeans could breathe, or she would be in trouble, the breeze also provided some relief.



She eyed the red, and white Pokeballs on her belt counting them to make sure they were all there. She really didn't trust that guy, despite what he said his intentions were. Since recently she had been the target of a few notorious factions known as Teams Aqua, Magma, and Rocket. Apparently they all needed someone like her for different reasons, Team Rocket was undertaking in advanced genetic research, and required someone who possesed knowledge about the genome. Teams Aqua, and Magma meerly needed her as a map reader to locate the two super-ledgendary Pokemon they feverishly pursued.



Jacey doubted the exsistance of the ledgendary Pokemon, and dismissed anyone who believed in them as 'white coats', or people who belonged in an assylum of some kind. She had no desire at all to work for either faction, and had told them so many times. Although Team Magma had atempted to kidnap her, and force her to work for them under threat of death, but she'd managed to escape, and hide out.


Thats were being the Pokemon League Champion worked against her, she was always on T.V. constantly giving interveiws, or 'inspiring' some young trainer to give it his all, and never give up. it got annoying, and repetitive quite quickly. Luckily being the Pokemon League Champion does have its perks, having ultra-strong Pokemon was one of them. She also got paid to just do the interviews, and crush the dreams of anyone who challenged her, how much easier could it get?



On the other hand.. Being at the top of the food chain made everyone hungry for a piece of you, and she already had her eye on some upcoming trainers who had the potential to oust her. Her older brother...Vega was one of those trainers, but Vega was different in the sense that he knew very well he could probably demolish her in battle, but he never did. It was as if he disliked the limelight that came with the title, it was to a point were he would rather take a dive than be famous. Men could somethimes be very complex individuals, the freak she just left was no exception.



Although the benefits outwieghed the consequences, she was willing to deal with them.



"Hm, a sale on Hyper Potions eh?" She said to no one in particular.


<Talking to yourself again?> A somewhat metallic voice said.



"Psi, shut up. You're lucky I let you stay outside your Pokeball."



An object materilized on front of her seemingly wearing brown body armor. Its face seemed as if it was set in a scowl as a long moustache extended from its 'nose'. The Pokemon held two silver spoons in its three-fingered hands as it stood taller than her by a few inches, its catlike ears made it seem much taller.


<You're just mad because I'm more smarter than you.> It said with a smirk.



"Really? Because the correct grammar would be: You are just angry because I am smarter than you."



The Alakazam stood silent, and just teleported away.



"Psi get back here, I thought Alakazams were supposed to be smart."



In truth it was Alakazam who had devised the strategy that had enabled her to defeat the opponent in the final round of last year's Pokemon League Tournament, luckily she didn't have to fight the Elite Four; that would be for this years challengers. Thankfully she only had to show up, and defeat the challenger to recieve one-hundred, and fifty million yen to pay her yearlong expenses, now that was something to look forward to. Though the next tournament wasn't for another seventeen months.



<Here I stole some items for you.>



"You what!" She exclaimed.



She could tell, it was going to be a long day. She hoped beating the Johto League would be as fun as it was in Indigo.
---------------------------
Well today was boring, but don't worry we wont see these guys again for a while, so don't get attached too soon. There is good news, very soon you will get a glimpse of Team Rockets darker side. Which should prove interesting.
 
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katiekitten

The Compromise
Maybe you could try reading what we put before posting another chapter. Like Psychic and I said, this needs a lot of work. I would advise you to revise both chapters. Soon.
 

Psychic

Really and truly
Gee, it looks like you didn't listen to a word we said. >.<

WE'RE NOT POSTING FOR OURSELVES: WE ARE POSTING FOR YOU. WE ARE TRYING TO HELP YOU. YOU AREN'T SO GOOD AT WRITING, AND YOU'LL NEVER GET ANY BETTER UNTIL YOU LISTEN TO YOUR REVIEWERS!
Most writers here would DIE for a review as long as mine or katiekitten's! You should appreciate it! It took me half an hour to type all that up! I don't like to think that I wasted half an hour just so you could ignore what I said!

Is it SO BLOODY HARD just to read what we wrote?! Is it?! If I could read a fic as bad and poorly spaced as yours, you can sure as Hell read something that will HELP YOU get BETTER.


Why are you posting your fics here? What's the point in having people reply if you won't read what they said?! We aren't here to insult and bash you and your work! We're here to help! But if you don't want my help, then fine; I don't mind flaming the Hell out of you.
Now, either listen to your reviewers, or LEAVE.

~Psychic
 
R

Raichu_Trainer_Chris

Guest
i did read it, and I did correct a few points. I know I dont right well, and Im trying to correct the story as best as I can. Can you PM exactly what you think the problem is.
 
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R

Raichu_Trainer_Chris

Guest
Journey of 1000 miles. Chapter 3 up. (1&2 being revised)

Chapter 3: The regrets of a man yearning for knowledge.


It's a common saying that it is better to close your mouth, and appear ignorant.


Than to open it, and remove all doubt.



Knowledge my friends is a curse, a curse of the utmost inconvenience.


Bearing this curse will inhibit you fro enjoying any facet of your insignificant existence.


And trying to understand the meaning of your existence will make you all the more empty.


Knowledge burdens a man, as stones burden an ***.


In our quest for power, and knowledge we gain insight into just how insignificant we really are..





Rocket Scientist Sebastian Thompson regarded the painting with a certain awe and reverence. “La Guerre de les Dieux”, it was called. The war of the gods. The painting depicted the three legendary birds over a pastoral, medieval-style town, destroying property with their elemental attacks. Villagers were frozen in the middle of mortal terror, knowing what was about to happen but forever doomed to live it out. He stroked his short, brown beard thoughtfully as he continued to gave at the picture. Where to rest the eye?


Thompson had a hard time deciding. Should he fix his gaze on on the blue bird;Articuno, blowing a freezing gust over the crop fields, freezing farm Pokémon solid and turning a hot midsummer’s day into a freezing winter? Should he rather fix his gaze on yellow thunderbird;Zapdos, burning houses with bolts of lightning? The property was being destroyed and the villagers fleeing, only to meet up with Moltres. Moltres, the phoenix, was forever frozen in the act of chasing down those poor villagers and burning them. It fatal beauty was striking, the red, and yellow flames that engulfed its body were a beauty to beheld. Thompson couldn’t help shuddering as he looked at the painting. It was large, filling the entire wall, and it gave him a feeling of mortality that he’d wondered where it had gone. Innocent lives ruined and destroyed by beings beyond their comprehension.



In a way, Thompson saw the painting as an allegory of his work with Team Rocket, specifically Project Hyper Dimension Neo-Genesis. This did not sit well in his stomach, either. While the scientists were a basically unethical lot, doing any job so long as they got paid, it was with a certain disgusted amazement that they watched the first, and thankfully also the first successful, test subjects of Shadow Berseker react well to post-modification treatment. The cost had been astronomical; to affect only a small handful—roughly six or seven hundred Pokémon of all types and breeds—cost millions. Sebastian would have to include this in his formal write-up, he was deep in thought scratching his short, brown hair thoughtfully.



The room had been cleaned up from the procedures taking place in the previous week. The operation room was back to a sterile perfection that Sebastian found comforting. A general doctor and scientist, albeit unethical in both trades, he was amazed with the work of the men and women under him.




“You’ve done well,” Sebastian said to thin air, he himself unsure of who he was addressing, “and you deserve the rewards of your labour.”



“How flattering,” came a medium-pitch female voice from the doorway. “I haven’t even done anything yet and I’m already getting praise.” Sebastian jumped perhaps three feet in the air with surprise.



The woman in the Executive’s formal uniform extended a hand.



“Hello, Executive Thompson.”


Sebastian regarded Ashley. In her late twenties, Ashley had slightly round features although there was a certain unsettling hardness to her face. Somewhat shorter than he was, Ashley displayed an… unusual; Sebastian guessed would be the word, presence. Her piercing, black eyes made her somewhat intimidating as they met his brown eyes. The white, and grey bodysuit with a shiny red "R" on the back, accentuated the bountiful curves of her body.




“Or not,” Ashley said, retracting her arm.



“Why are you here?” Sebastian asked.



“Making some sweeps of all secret Rocket bases,” She replied, pacing around the room. “Nice lab you’ve got here. You actually do things in this room, or is it just for show?”



Yes, Sebastian told himself, the rumours about Ashley being especially obnoxious were true. He decided that now would be the time for all good men to shut up. She proceeded to pace around the room, examining things and making more offhand comments. Eventually—after too long, thought Sebastian—he said “good work” and left. Ashley brushed her dirty-blonde bangs out of her eyes and took her PDA out of her pocket.


Tapping a few things with the stylus, making it look like she was working as she walked, her mind was focused entirely on what Stephen had told her. Aqua having such information… it seemed unreal. She’d put on his usual obnoxious face when dealing with Stephen, but the bulk of him was unsettled. Counter-Intelligence was good, and they’d have caught any electronic bugs or malicious computer viruses. The leak could have been many things, but Ashleys’s gut shouted “mole.”



Ashley glanced around to get her bearings straight. She was in the east wing of the base, near the Pokémon holding cells. The actual location meant little to her, and in fact she thought he was lucky to have wandered into one of the least trafficked ends of the base. It was a bit dark for her tastes, but out of sight out of mind like she always said. She opened the door to the cell observation room and sat down in a black, rolling chair.



It was evening, so nobody else was there. She looked straight off into space, doing what most would probably call daydreaming or slacking. In fact, she was deep in thought, working out methods of detecting any moles and applying logic to determine the best possible means of finding him or her. Or, Ashley prayed wasn’t the case, them. The amount of information gathered wasn’t possible for any one person to know; it was simply that much, even Giovanni wouldn’t know it all.



This meant that the mole was in the technology division somewhere, probably somebody with a high level of clearance or somebody with good hacking expertise. Ashley turned towards the small, black computer at the desk, the steels legs screeched aginst the floor slightly. Normally meant for monitoring cells, it had access to the entire Rocket network… once she finished hacking said access in. She pulled up the list of every Rocket with listed hacking expertise. The monitor flickered a little as the list filled up the screen, and name-after-name popped up.



This wouldn’t give her an accurate list of suspects, but it did give him a starting point.Ashley frowned as she was suddenly kicked from the server. It wasn’t the Rocket server’s own doing either. Hacking back in, Ashley found it was a quickly programmed bot.



Interesting, she thought. He hacked past it and found the name of the person who programmed it. Immediately after trying to go further, the computer outright crashed. A hard boot did nothing. His computer was flat ko'ed. Ashley smiled and picked up his cell phone.



“Get me a full report on Agent Akira Yuromasa,” Ashley said. “And keep a record of all future actions he takes, no matter how minute.” Ashley waited for confirmation and then closed the cell phone.



“I am invincible,” she said to herself, copying a movie character she liked.


~~~~~~~~


Sebastian took a left, down a darkly lit wing of the Rocket base, but even without the lights the silver floor still shined since it had been polished not long ago. The white sign had a black arrow labeled:Laboratory, and pointed left his booted making thump sounds as he walked. Sebastian continued down the hall toward the Shadow lab, he looked around to first make sure no one was around, and proceeded to reach inside his white labcoat to retrieve his card key, and swiped it through the scanner. It made a loud BING sound as the door slid open revealing a dimly lit room with rows of clear, glass tanks filled with an eerie green liquid.



Many of these Pokemon had been stolen from various trainers, utilizing the capabilities of thier Snag machine, and although Thompson didn't really agree with the idea of stealing Pokemon from thier masters, he still followed orders. Mostly because thats what he was being paid to do, and there was no time for ethics to get involved, money was paramount.



He walked up to one of the larger tanks, and could faintly make out the shape of a large Gyarados with hundreds of wires attached to it, monitoring its vital signs. The tank was labeled XD024, Project Darkrage.<ShadowBerseker> Sebastian regarded this with derision as he walked up, and down the aisle, inspecting several other tanks as well, he walked over through a sliding door that led to room that contained their latest creation, an exact clone of the super-ledgendary Pokemon Lugia, its silvery wings were folded up next to it, witht the black spikes on its back, laying flat. The large tail trailed beneath it as it floated in the green liquid..



Thompson typed some things on the electronic keyboard, its transparent surface color-coded for different functions. He pulled up the stats for a few of the Neo-Genesis Shadow Pokemon products. It took a few minutes to hack past the firewalls, and the protection software, but he got in finally.


"So this is the fruit of my research?" He asked himself.


The genetic division had long since spear-headed this endeavor since the incident of the CIPHER organization stealing their lab notes before. That dispicable Ein had stolen valuable files, and passed off the Shadow Pokemon plan as his own, thereby gaining CIPHER famous notoriety, but thansk to a defected Team Snatch member CIPHER was brought to its knees about ten years ago.


Since then Team Rocket had undergone massive reconstruction since that incident. Giovanni had made sure a mistake like that would never occur again at any given moment. Thompson was still getting flak from some of his superiors about it being his fault, why couldn't they forget about? The Elites were nothing but a hassle, a bunch of street punks trying to flex thier non-existant muscles.


Thompson scrolled down the page, and noticed a tab hidden against the backdrop, he clicked it, and an arrow followed by a long list took up the page. He typed a bit more before blowing the page up so he could clearly see the Pokemon stats, and rank.

XD001~Lugia, the first in a long line of new Shadow Pokemon.
Gender:Male
Estimated Level:75
--Statistics--
Resistance to Purification:*****
Speed:****
Psychic Abilty:*****
Offensive capabilty:****
Defensive capabilties:******

He studied the page for a moment before continuing.


XD002~Tyrannitar, The previous Tyrannitar was purified through rather strange means, so aother was made.
Gender:Female
Estimated Level:60
--Statistics--
Offense:*****
Defense:****
Provacabilty:*****
Speed:***
Resistance to Purification:*****

The list continued for some time, now Thompson typed in the words: Alternate Shadow processes. A large page thick with characters appeared on screen detailing the different Shadow Creation methods.

Shadow Berserker: 127 known successful experiments procured.
Shadow Attributes: 87 known successful experiments procured.
Shadow Coupling:100 known successful experiments procured.


The scientist looked in horror, and admiration as the list grew in size. Thompson was so immersed in his work he did not even noticed someone had been watching him through the laboratory's security camera....

~~~~~~~


Giovanni’s eyebrows rose. “He what?”

Andrew looked sideways at Giovanni, still standing with his right side to the man. “He broke into one of our labs, and released all of our successful Neo-Genesis<>Project Shadow test subjects, almost all four hundred and thirty two of them.”
Giovanni growled. This level of incompetence he’d expect from fools and incompetents, not from an Executive. No, he decided, not incompetence. Impudence.


Andrew stood unmoving in his uniform issued only to the Elites. His white shirt stood out mostly because of the shining silver "R" that replaced the red on. His pants matched the shirt with the exception of the jagged blue lines along the sides, and the gun pouch on the leg.


“What do you want me to do with them?”


Giovanni layed back in his hospital bad, and closed his eyes, as his large forehead rose, and fell as he breathed, trying to keep his anger under control. He stopped for a minute his prominent nostrils flaring. He opened his eyes again, and propped his bed up a little bit more.


“Nothing,” Giovanni said, his voice surprisingly light. “We have the data and should be able to recreate the results given enough time. All we’ve lost is time, nothing more, and I am a patient man.”


“What’s going to happen to Thompson?” Andrew inquired rather unconcerned. He brushed one of his dirty-blonde bangs out of his face.


Giovanni smiled. “It all depends on what he does from here on in. If he stays loyal, nothing. If this sort of insubordinate behaviour becomes a pattern, we terminate him. And not his employment if you know what I mean.”



Andrew nodded curtly. Giovanni was a ruthless man, one who would tolerate little but accepted much. These orders were what set him apart from most of the Executives and normal operatives.



“That is enough, you are dismissed,” Giovanni said, waving Andrew out.



Andrew was pensive as he exited the room. He heard little from the other Elites, owing to the fact that he was still only a newbie, to use blunt terms. However, there was indeed rumour that the Executives were about to lose a lot of their power to the Elites for the very reason that he was merely musing about—namely, their softness.



Juliet, Thompson, and their like weren’t true Rockets. They were political weasels, pretenders, thought Andrew. All of their work was dedicated to projects that were irrelevant. Genetic engineering, indeed. Although Mewtwo officially never happened, Andrew knew the consequences that creating that trio of psychic cats had wrought. To repeat these mistakes was to call disaster from the very devil himself.



Stephen and his like were somewhat better off, since they dealt with the external threats to Team Rocket, namely Aqua and Magma. Team Snatch and the CIPHER organization were defeated long ago, but Aqua and Magma were still at large. Stephen’s work represented, to Andrew, the defence of what Team Rocket really was. He continued thinking these thoughts as he walked down the brightly lit halls, staring at his reflection as he went, his blue eyes stared back at him.



And Melanie… Executive Melanie was a pretender, a clown in an Executive’s uniform who had not the skills or dedication to Team Rocket for continued employment. He wasn’t quite sure how, but she had especially gotten under his skin. By now the silvery halls had turned blue to signify he was close to the control room. He really didn't like how low the ceiling was, it was only about seven to eight feet high, not really spacious.



Giovanni picked up his phone right after Andrew left the room.



“Executive Ashley,” he said, “you might wish to put a close tab on Silver Elite Andrew. I am starting to, ah, regret promoting him.”


“Idealistic son of a…” She started to ask, but remembering whom she was talking to and therefore cutting his sentence short. “Idealistic to the extreme is he?” Giovanni chuckled.



“No need to censor yourself like that. In truth, I agree with you. He is far too idealistic, and could easily become a liability.”



“So keep watch on him and if he shows signs of going too far, snap down? Seems pretty clichéd, but what the hell. Sounds fun.”



Giovanni put down the receiver and couldn’t help but laugh. she had a sense of humour, and he liked that. If he didn’t know Ashley long before she became an Executive, he too would be one of the many people who saw her only as a clown or a joker. However, he knew better than to trust someone at face value.



While running Team Rocket had its rewards, Giovanni thought, it also had its seemingly inescapable pitfalls, such as making sure its higher-level operatives stayed in line. The right side of his chest stung, maybe that Spike Cannon had hurt him more than he realized. Phantom pains, the doctors had told him, and nothing to worry about. Giovanni didn’t care if it was phantom or real pain so long as it wasn’t life threatening. It was merely an irritation, was all. Like idealists were..



By now he had realized that the Team Aqua surprise attack had done more damage than he had first realized. The attitudes of all the officers were changing, the grunts were inventing novel ideas to which they sought to put into action. An air of apprehension ahd since permeated through the ranks, and Thompson's actions seemed to justify this.


A loud beep rang through the air snapping Giovanni back to reality. He fumbled around his bed before realizing that the cellular phone was under his pillow, hurriedly he grabbed the small phone, and pushed the talk switch.


"Yes, Giovanni speaking." he said in a harsh voice.


<Sir, we have found something in the eastern section of the Ruins of Alph!" a raspy voice returned.


<It was found by James, sir.>


Usually competent Rocket agents were referred to on a first name basis only if they had accomplishments worthy of being praised, usually Elites, and Executives, James on the other hand was the polar opposite.


"That blundering fool managed to not screw something up eh?" An air of surprise surrounded him.


<We stumbled upon it about two this morning sir, because somehow James stumbled on a secret passage that led s to it.>


"To what?"


<The scroll sir.>


"You mean-"


<Yes sir, one of the missing pages.> Giovanni's ears perked up at hearing this.


It seemed that maybe his dream of absolute world conquest was not as afar off as it had at first seemed.



"So, you recovered on of the missing one hundred pages?"


<Yes sir.>


"Well Buson, return with your squad, and take your pay. I'm sending on a two week vacation all expenses paid."


<Sir?>


"Don't worry, you've earned this, I'm a hard man yes, but I reward work well done. You're going to the XiniX Islands, formerly the SeVII islands."


<I am aware of that sir.>


"Well RTB immedaitly, and pack your things, you deserve a vacation for your efforts."


<Th-thank you sir.>


"Don't thank me, thank yourself for a job well done." With that Giovanni hung up. He layed back on his bed once more, the crispy, white sheets were now wrinkled beyond hope almost.


A creamy beige cat slinked its way into the room, a red jewel on its forehead sparkled in the light, its three whiskers twitched as it sniffed around for food. Persian lithely sprung onto the bed, its paws making no noise whatsoever. Taking its place on Giovanni's feet it proceeded to lick its long tail before falling asleep.


Staring at the classy cat gave him an idea, he picked up the phone once again, and dialed a number. A female voice answered...


----------
End
----------

So it was that the greatest warrior of his era was no more.~Romance of The Three Kingdoms, entitling the death of Lu Bu.
It's safe to say Thompson won't be here for much longer, and also that we'll be seeing some Shadow Pokemon. Anyway be sure to leave critiques, and comments. Peace Out, Crips up.
 
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P

PokePaul

Guest
Hi.

I didn't read this before you obviously re-drafted it based on the comments you got, so I can't accurately say how much it has improved from that but I'd say you've done a decent job :)

You've re-formatted it all since too, I presume, so that's good. There's nothing worse than reading a huge block of text.

As for the actual story, it's pretty interesting, although it sometimes runs the risk of being a bit generic. By that I mean, when people write stories about Team Rocket etc. they tend to get a bit swamped with describing the inner-workings of the organisation and it can become a bit dull to read. Also you've introduced us to a lot of characters within relatively few chapters, I'd suggest you stagger that a bit from now on. It's difficult enough to warm to a new character at the start of a story anyway without the plot switching to somebody else so soon.

What I did like was how your characters talk. I noticed somebody brought up your story's dialogue as a criticism, but it doesn't seem particularly 'script-y' to me so I guess this is another thing you've fixed. Nonetheless, for me personally I think the dialogue is one of the best features of this story. Aside from a few instances in the first chapter, it never seemed awkward or forced and the conversations flowed v smoothly. This tends to be quite difficult for some people to achieve so good job.

Overall I'd say you've done a good effort with this. You've definitely got a basic skill for writing and from how much you've done so far I guess you enjoy it, so I'd encourage you to continue this. Aside from the few criticisms people have brought up, you just need to keep writing. There's room for improvement (as is the case with anybody) and there are a few things you need to polish and practice (also, I did spot a few typo's. If you're not already doing so I'd really recommend writing your work out in Word and giving it a thorough proof-read before you submit it. It just looks better and saves people criticising you for something you can see for yourself.)

Anyway, I liked this story and think it shows promise. Don't give up. I don't normally do the whole feedback thing, which is selfish of me, but I felt the need to given Psychic's unfair attack. I hope she hasn't put you off.

Paul.

** MESSAGE FOR PSYCHIC **

You say "we aren't here to insult you and bash you and your work" - so why, I'm desperate to know, did you?

While you're obviously a seasoned writer yourself and, yes, your comments were extremely in-depth and useful I don't think that's any excuse for your later post. In fact I think you owe this guy an apology.

There wasn't any need to be quite so vicious in what you said - look at how katiekitten addressed the same opinion, simple and fairly. You should also look at how this writer responded to you (far too politely in my opinion, hence this rant of mine) and maybe learn something from that. If you read something that you think is so abysmal then forget it.

If you DO decide to comment on it then do so to help the person who wrote it, NOT to stroke your own ego. Yes you spent "half an hour" writing your reply but that was your decision and he isn't contracted to pay any attention to it at all if he wants. So basically if they do or don't decide to follow all your advice then maybe just walk away rather than throwing a tantrum. Or take a look at the persons profile. This guy is extremely new and this seems to be his first story - so think a bit first before jumping down his throat. People should be encouraged, not scared away.

Capitalising your sentences and using exclamatory rhetoric is pretty childish anyway, and not called for, so I'm not even going to bother with you on that.

What you said really really irked me, as I'm sure you can tell. It read like somebody who is so unbelievably full of themselves they think they can speak however they want to people who maybe aren't quite as skilled. But for all you know they could be much younger, or just not as experienced, in which case you're not proving anything by ripping them to shreds.

I'd really suggest you humble yourself a lot before you critique another persons work, because there's a lot to be said for just a little humility. Quite frankly if you talk to everybody in such a patronising, disinterested way I wouldn't be surprised if nobody follows your suggestions. Pride comes before a fall and I promise you, one day you'll mouth off to the wrong person and they will cut you down to size so quick it'll leave you reeling. But I'd imagine you only dare speak to people like that online so ....

One more thing - don't ever go into the teaching profession.

And one more thing - saying that you're flaming and admitting that you're being insulting and nasty doesn't make it right. Nor does it make it legitimate or excusable.
 
R

Raichu_Trainer_Chris

Guest
Chapter 4: A new day, a new challenge!




"If water derives lucidity from stillness, how much more the faculties of the mind!

The mind of the sage, being in repose, becomes the mirror of the universe, the speculum of all creation. "


~Chuang Tzu




It was a calm morning, as he walked outside the sliding glass doors to take in the lush scenery, green palm leaves glistening with dew, and the white sand along the beaches riddled with various morning Pokemon, coupled with the calm blue ocean, and beautiful sunrise signified a new day.


Behind him the silver training base loomed, casting a large shadow, its blue roof reflecting sunlight making it look like a giant light bulb. Raichu at his side was nibbling on its yellow lightning-bolt shaped tail for some reason, maybe trying to get something off it, he didn't know, but he knew he should utilize this time to do some training. Chris took two red, and white spheres off his belt, and released the Pokemon within.


"Umbreon, and Eevee come on out." Chris said as he released two of his Pokemon. The first was an Eevee, it shook its plush brown fur, ruffling its petit, cream-coloured mane a little bit. It seemed to be an odd cross between a dog, and a cat. The second was Umbreon, an evolved form of Eevee, but Umbreon stood about three feet, and its body was black as night, riddled with golden circles on its head,ears, flanks, tail, and front legs.


The small blades of green grass crumpled under the wieght of the Pokemon standing on them, as the others swayed in the morning breeze. Eevee tackled Umbreon to the ground, which came as a surprise to Chris. Umbreon had the size and speed advantages.He was watching the two wrestle at each other from the park bench as part of Eevee’s training. It handled itself pretty well, all things considered. At the very least, it had appeared to have gotten over the trauma of its sister’s death. Poor thing, it of all the Eevees was hit the hardest, and earlier had refused Chris’s water stone.


“Hey watch out for…” Chris started to say to it, but Umbreon flipping Eevee off of it was faster than his warning.



“Too late.”



It was an odd thing, seeing two Pokémon battle without orders, but Chris knew that the less he walked his Pokemon through a fight, the more they would get overall. They were already learning, as it was dodging more and more of Umbreon’s attacks and was hitting more and more often, he could tell they weren't completely serious because Umbreon's rings on its body weren't glowing.


Then things started to get interesting. Whether Eevee had intended for things to work out that way or not, Chris didn’t know. However, with its back to the sun, it forced Umbreon to face it and therefore have much reduced visibility. It was an advantage Chris himself didn’t think of until Eevee had already utilized it. Umbreon was caught off guard by the sun’s glare, but scored a lucky kick with its right back leg, sending Eevee rolling towards Chris, knocked out.



“Nice kick, Umbreon,” Chris said. “And Eevee, you did really well yourself.”



Raichu cheered them both as well, its lightning bolt bouncing up, and down as its yellow patches on its cheeks began discharging electricity. Umbreon said something to Raichu to which it responded by clapping. Now Chris decided to try two of his different Pokemon, as he recalled Eevee, he released Bagon, and Bayleef from their respective pokeballs.



The little, blue dragon appeared first, and yawned opening its cavernous mouth revealing rows of little, white teeth its red tongue rolling out. Bayleef bore a strong resemblance to Chikorita, except its leaf was much larger, and its neck was surrounded by what seemed to be rolled up flowers.



He watched as the two Pokemon exchanged blows for a few minutes, until it was clear they were even. The tiny dragon attempted to bite Bayleef on its leg, but it was repelled by a flurry of leaves. Undettered, Bagon tried another approach, it lowered it blue head revealing a bony formation that resembled cornrows of white hair.



"Hmm, its going to headbutt it." Chris thought to himself. It had been 6 months since he'd recieved Bagon as a prize for participating in a tournament in the faraway Orre region. He remembered the details of the battle as if they'd happened yesterday.


--Flashback--
It was the final round of the Pyrite Colloseum challenge, and it was a beautiful day. The sky was clear blue with white, fluffy clouds in the distance being gently blown in his direction. Sand was also blowing into his eyes thanks to the breeze, but his trademark sunglasses shielded his eyes from the elements.


The arena was quite modest, it resembled the arena' of ancient Rome, only it looked somewhat new. About several hundred people were packed into the arena for the final match, to watch the tournament favorite, a mysterious fellow by the name of Charlie Evans,

“It’s six on one,” the trainer, Charlie Evans had stated. “two each of your Pokémon versus one of mine.You can have up to four Pokemon out at once, it doesn't matter how many belong to whom.”

Chris scoffed. “Your funeral.” His partner Terry didn’t know what Pokémon Charlie was going to use, so he went for a balanced yet somewhat defensively oriented team of Wartortle, Kadabra, and Flareon. Chris decided on a similarly oriented team, consisting of Raichu, Umbreon, and Chikorita.


Terry's white shirt, and tie combo stood out against Chris, who wore a blue, and red Jersey that read "Hard Knocks". His head was covered in cornrows that ended at the back of his neck. Stark contrast to Terry's clean cut look, his face was red with blood, as were his ears, to Chris this seemed funny seeing as if he blushed you wouldn't see it.

This spiky,red-haired man was mysterious, he had an air of invicibility around him, as if God himself couldn't touch him. His blue jacket shielded his white shirt from the blowing sand, but his loose blue jeans had no such luck. He seemed to stand above both of them, so it was somewhat intimdating.


As was his Arcanine, its fur was streaked with black stripes the fell against a fire pattern. Its yellow mane blew majesticly in the wind as it barked exitedly.


The battle began quickly. Terry led with Flareon, Eevee' s fire type evolution, Flareon's mane was golden yellow, with a firey, red body that caused the very air around it to shimmer like water, ad followed up with Wartortle, its white fluffy tail shook as it yawned, and scratched its blue head with its pointed claws. Chris opted for his Raichu as the starter, and Chikorita to back it up.


“Arcanine, flamethrower!” Charlie shouted suddenly the second the match started. A thick stream of fire was spewed at both of them.


Most of Chris and Terry’s Pokémon were caught off-guard, and Chikorita staggered, and fell from the flames, although the rest jumped out of the way in time. Chris was already down one, and had to make up for it with Umbreon.



“Flareon, Quick Attack!” Terry shouted, just as Chris shouted for all of his Pokémon to attack at the same time. he attacks all hit, but apparently had no effect.



“Fire Blast!” Charlie called, and Arcanine spewed gout of flames at Wartortle, knocking the turtle flat to the ground, ko'ed instantantly.



Terrys eyes widened as he recalled Wartortle.
“What sort of monster…?” The Pokemon was a thing of beauty as it effortlessly took down Pokemon after Pokemon.


“Kadabra, try and Disable it!” he shouted as he sent it out. Kadabra closed its eyes, and the red star on its forehead began shining enveloping its yellow body in an eerie blue aura. Though made a valiant effort to psychically stop the giant dog, but Arcanine was faster and took the psi Pokemon down to the ground almost instantly, its spoon sent flying, and its pointed ears dropping.


“Umbreon, distract it with A Confuse Ray! Sparky, Thunderbolt!” Chris shouted, taking the opportunity to attack. Without Charlie’s order, Arcanine used Extremespeed on Raichu, knocking the mouse out of the fight. Two attacks still hit Arcanine.
“Extremespeed again,” said Charlie, “this time to Umbreon.” Arcanine leapt instantly towards Umbreon, who took the hit and went down.



“Flareon, attack it with Swift!” Terry shouted frantically. We need the confusion to hold, Chris thought to himself. His Pokémon were all out of the fight. It was insane. Arcanine was hit with the the star-shaped rays, but only turned and bit at Flareon, causing it to flinch up, and hold off it assualt.



“What sort of Pokémon is that?!” Terry demanded.



“An Arcanine,” Charlie responded, confused. “Firestorm, and end this please.” Arcanine closed its eyes and began meditating.




“No Arcanine can do this!” Chris fumed.



Charlie sighed. Arcanine opened its mouth and shot an incredible amount of flames at the remaining Eeveelution. Flareon looked like it was going to weather the hit, but staggered under the enormous heat of the flames now enveloping the entire room. All three trainers were most uncomfortable, finally Flareon fell.


This man, Charlie Evans had defeated six Pokemon at once with only one, such prowess was inconcievable.!

--End Flashback--


Chris breathed a sigh, and leaned up against a palm tree gently swaying in the wind. Bagon was holding its own against Bayleef, and it hadn't even evolved yet, maybe its was because of its adamant personality. The dragon would never give up, no matter how high the odds were stacked against it, He'd seen it go toe-to-toe with an Ursaring in the wild once, and it did quite well.


The fact was that he had an exceptional memory, he even remembered when he was an apprentice to Lt. Surge when he was 10. The man was an ex-Rocket Elite, splitting with the Rockets at roughly the same time Koga--Whom he had also had the fortune to train with-- as Sabrina did.


"Alright you two, break it up." He said calmly.


Bagon immediately broke off its assault on Bayleef, and squatted down; Bayleef did the same. Riffling through the pouch on his pants leg he pulled out his capsule case, pressed the button on top, and a case popped out. The case was full of various Pokeblocks that served different purposes, his former ninja sensei Koga had taught him how to concoct powerful medicines using this Pokemon candy, and also taught him how each block varies in its uses depending on what ingredients were used.



Raichu looked on as Chris pulled out one of the small blocks. It was a perfect blue cube no bigger than throwing dice. That one served as candy as well as medicine to wake up a Pokemon that fell to a sleep attack, it also worked on humans sometimes, depending on the amount of ingredients.



"Hm, Gold Pokeblocks can heal a Pokemon's wounds somewhat, in addition to temporarily boosting its battle capabilities." He thought to himself. That block he concocted himself, and was quite proud, but he'd never found a use for it seeing as it was to powerful to waste. The rest of the Pokeblocks had low feel ratings, and thus weren't suitable to be used, so he discarded them, but reconsidered because he'd need them for the exams that would take place in a few days.



By now it was noon, and the beaches were becoming full of various Pokemon from the dense forest, and the tide pools. Chris decided it was time to go visit the hall, and find out the details of the Jonin exams. He recalled Bagon, and Bayleef, placed Raichu on his shoulders, and started towards the base when he noticed a boat in the distance, he paid no attention, and entered the sliding doors into the blue-tiled lobby.



"The Graduation exams will take place on Silver Rock Island, its an isolated island somewhere in the Whirl Island Archipeligo." A tall light colored man in the standard white unform explained. Chris looked to his left, and caught a glimpse of Melina, her auburn hair tied into a pontail, and to his right stood Devan, the cadet who vied for first place with Melina, he was shorter than he was, but he was quite skilled.



"You all will start with two star-shaped badges, and you must fight other cadets across the island," He continued holding up a small golden five-pointed star for everyone to see. Chris marveled at the craftsmanship it took to create one of those perfect smooth-textured stars.



"The first ten cadets who get ten badges, and reach the building on the other end of the island will graduate, the rest will not. To win badges you must wager with the cadets you fight, remember you must wager the same number of badges. Also foul play is condoned. but try to get by with skill unless you get desperate."


The star chips were being passed out as the man finished, and turned to walk away, but must've forgot to say something because he rapidly turned back to the microphone.



"Oh, and if you complete the exam within a certain period of time you will graduate with honors. Good Luck." Chris saw a few cadets perk up at this, and he turned to leave, but suddenlythe doors shut tight, and gas seeped into the room. The cadets tried desperately to escape the noxious fumes wisping from the walls, Chris looked just in time to see Raichu plop onto the floor from his shoulders. The last thing he remembered was seeing the officers put on a mask, and he slipped into darkness..


The all consuming darkness....
------------------------
Well, it seems that the exams are just starting, and to kick off this wonderful event I am now accepting applications for trainers you would like added into the story:) Now to give you a word of warning, if you dislike juggernaut-type trainers for the most part then I suggest you not read most of 4, as there will be arse kicking galore, and we see the return of a trainer we haven't seen since Chapter One.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

katiekitten

The Compromise
This is an improvement! Still a few errors, but I can tell that you tried. Onto the review...

“Raichu-rai, Raichu.”

“Chu…” Raichu sighed, and hopped a little, signifying to Chris that it at least wanted to be carried for this.

You didn't really need to start a new line here. Just combine the two pieces of dialogue, and you'll be fine. :)

...yellow mouse on his shoulders:its wiry tail hanging down his back...

Good bit of description here, you just need a space after the colon. :)

The woman who was quite attractive dressed in a white top with a red "R"...

You don't really need the who in this sentence, it doesn't sound right. Just delete it and it will be fine.

She looked him up, and down through her raven black hair, but even through the forest of hair he could see her piercing blue eyes.

You repeated hair a bit much, just substitue it with something else. If you get really stuck, go to dictionary.com and go to the thesaurus section. :)

She entered the hallhoping she was just in time to see an impressive fight.

Just need a space between hall and hoping.

Chris's shoulder.Chris shifted his sunglasses nervously, whatever happened he could not take them off. The referee was an officer named Domino who sat on a hieghtened chair, running her fingers through her curly hair that fell in buttery curls around her ears in the same attire Juliet had worn.

Three little mistakes in this paragraph. You accidentaly forgot a space after a full stop, spelt heightened wrong, (e then i. annoying but true) and repeated curls a little much. Like I said before, substitute it with something else. :)

Unfortunately, you missed a few spots whilst you were correcting your earlier mistakes. You still have some feet and inches signs, and still some numbers are in digit form. Be sure to read through it again, you don't want to miss any. :)

Also, the fight is still a little unbelievable. A Riachu being able to defeat a Nidoking and Charizard without getting harmed? Work on it a little. Let the Raichu faint, he should have more Pokemon. Let us get introduced to them. Besides, hidden power attunes itself to the surroundings, that is how you can roughly estimate what move you will get. In a grassy area, a grass move. Rocky, rock ectra... In a school? Probably a normal. Not an ice, for that you are looking at metronome. :)

Well, I'm sorry to say that I don't have time to run through the other chapters tonight, it is getting late and I need to get ready for bed. But don't worry, I'll be back. For better or for worse. ;)
 
R

Raichu_Trainer_Chris

Guest
katiekitten said:
This is an improvement! Still a few errors, but I can tell that you tried. Onto the review...



You didn't really need to start a new line here. Just combine the two pieces of dialogue, and you'll be fine. :)



Good bit of description here, you just need a space after the colon. :)



You don't really need the who in this sentence, it doesn't sound right. Just delete it and it will be fine.



You repeated hair a bit much, just substitue it with something else. If you get really stuck, go to dictionary.com and go to the thesaurus section. :)



Just need a space between hall and hoping.



Three little mistakes in this paragraph. You accidentaly forgot a space after a full stop, spelt heightened wrong, (e then i. annoying but true) and repeated curls a little much. Like I said before, substitute it with something else. :)

Unfortunately, you missed a few spots whilst you were correcting your earlier mistakes. You still have some feet and inches signs, and still some numbers are in digit form. Be sure to read through it again, you don't want to miss any. :)

Also, the fight is still a little unbelievable. A Riachu being able to defeat a Nidoking and Charizard without getting harmed? Work on it a little. Let the Raichu faint, he should have more Pokemon. Let us get introduced to them. Besides, hidden power attunes itself to the surroundings, that is how you can roughly estimate what move you will get. In a grassy area, a grass move. Rocky, rock ectra... In a school? Probably a normal. Not an ice, for that you are looking at metronome. :)

Well, I'm sorry to say that I don't have time to run through the other chapters tonight, it is getting late and I need to get ready for bed. But don't worry, I'll be back. For better or for worse. ;)


Thanks for the critique, and btw its Secret Power that attunes itself to the natural surroundings. I was trying something by combining Hidden Power, and Secret Power into just "use your hidden power." So like Secret Power it models itself after its surroundings, but HP gives it more range, so on a beach it can use water, and sand based attacks.
That makes up for the lack of Surf because the Raichu is mostly modeled after my Netbattle Raichu in that sense.
 
R

Raichu_Trainer_Chris

Guest
Chapter 5: A test worthy of a future ninja.


The war in the shadows is about to begin.


Steel yourselves against the oncoming challenges.



And remember.


Do not fear the dark....


Fear what it hides....



Hearing the gentle lapping of the water on the beach, as well as the high-pitched chirping of the songbirds Chris groggily woke up from his forced sleep. His biege timberland boots were a bit wet from the water, as were his blue sweat pants. The bright sunlight shown brightly on him as he slowly, and weakly stood up to get a look at his surroundings, an itch bugged him, reaching down to scratch it he noticed for the first time he was wearing his cell phone.


He ran his finges along the smooth, sun-warmed surface for a moment before opening it to look at the time, the brown, and yellow mouse lay next to him, it hadn't awaken yet, the golden earring he'd had pierced a while back blew gently in the wind.


"Hm, its only three-thirty in the afternoon?" He asked aloud to no one in particular as he placed his phone back on its clip. There were a few grains of white sand on the back of his blue, and white sweat jacket, so he removed it, and attempted to remove them, it went successfully, and his jacket was sand free.



Looking around him he noticed the shiny, blue ocean riddled with corals reefs of assorted blues, and reds mixing with an abundance of oceanic wildlife, he looked closer to see a school of Tentacool trying to escape a Sharpedo, their red crystals glowing with fear as their clear bodies camoflauged with the surrounding ocean.



Looking overhead he saw a murder of crows flying above him seemingly toching the fluffy, white clouds that stood out against the blue sky. He checked his pockets to make sure his star chips still remained, and breathed a sigh of relief, removing one to study it he had to squint from the suns glare despite his sunglasses, he put his hood up to try, and deflect more of the suns light, but to no avail.



"You, Chris!" A sharp voice called. Chris whirled, trying to find who had called him. The source being a somewhat short, red-haired boy with piercing eyes of about eighteen, or so Madison, was it? His skin was about the same shade as the sand from his angle.



"Hm?" He replied, trying to decide whether or not he really felt like battling at this point, but had to get to the other building regardless of how much he really didn't want to fight.



"I really want to ask you something." Madison stated.



"Shoot."



"Well, I've seen you fight, and I'm pretty sure that I can't beat you, so I want to ask a favor."



Chris eyed the man surreptiously trying to decide if this was some sort of ploy to get him to lower his guard, this was a Team Rocket graduation exam after all, and from what he'd heard, and seen they weren't exactly known for playing by the rules.



"So..whats the favor?" He asked cautiously, not really sure if he would like the reply he got.



"Well, I want this match to be off the record, so we don't lose our chips if thats ok with you that is."



Chris listened to him, and pondered the idea for a moment until he heard rustling in the back of him near the edge of the forest. Though he knew very well it was a trap he continued to listen to Madison.


"So what do you say?" The man seemed adamant on getting his answer.




Chris was about to obliger, when he dropped to the ground, and aimed a sweep kick at one of the assailants behind him. He came crashing to the ground with a thud, Chris assumed a stance, and noticed Raichu was right there beside him raring to fight.



"So, you want to fight too Sparky?" Chris asked rhetorically. He was surrounded by three cadets who were undoubtedly working together in their efforts to get the star chips. Looking around him he decided it would be best if he just simply beat them into the ground, and take their chips.


"Get 'em boys!" Madison said smugly, obviously he was the leader of this little operation.



The entire group closed in around him slowly as he stood his ground.he first boy charged; only to be met with a flat palm in the face, he held his nose, but a small stream of blood managed to slip through. The next one aimed a punch at his face, which was deflected skillfully with an upraised arm, and promptly countered with a lotus kick to the midsection. Madison stood in disbelief at the spectacle as Chris knelt down to remove the three star chips from each boy.



"Haha, this is great, I've got eight already, and I'm none the wiser for it." Chris stated enthusiasticly, laughing all the while as Madison continued staring in awe at him.



"Well, I guess you're next." Chris said cracking his knuckles. Madison reached for one of his pokeballs, but was met by a jab in his stomach, and doubled over. Standing over him with his foot on top of his back, he bent down to take his two star chips.




"Hm, ten chips already. This will be a cinch." He said. As he turned to walk away, he heard the familiar sound of a pokeball opening. He turned around to see a Staryu sitting in front of him.



"Hmph, you're not taking my chips without a fight, you hear me Chris!" Madison yellled. The star-shaped Pokemon's entire body glowed with intermittent shades of white, and blue. Chris reconized the move as Cosmic Power, with a laugh he reached down to his belt for one of his pokeballs. Finding them, he fingered the cold, smooth surfaces looking for the correct one.



"Bayleef, its that time. Do some damage." He said releasing his grass Pokemon. Bayleef twirled its leaf as a warm-up, and puffed up the herbs on its neck letting, the sun warm them.



"Staryu, Swift now!" The star-shaped Pokemon's ruby began glowing a bright shade of crimson, and fired several star-shaped rays at the herb Pokemon. Bayleef instinctively dodged the attack, though the attack still connected, it managed to dodge the worst of it. With a wave of its broad leaf countered with Razor Leaf , letting out a vicious storm of emerald colored leaves, deadly sharp. The sharpness didn't really affect the Staryu’s tough, outer body, but the plants sucked the energy out of him on contact. It was hit with about half the huge storm, and managed to evade the rest.




"Tackle it to the ground!" Chris yelled.



Bayleef obeyed, and charged at the weakened Pokemon, and tackled it to the ground with a thud. Madison woefully recalled his Pokemon, and sent out a Graveller. The four arms protruding from its gray, gravel-covered body gave it reasonable reach.




"Rollout!" Madison commanded it.



The huge rock tucked in its four arms, and curled itself into a ball, and proceeded to roll at high speed right towards Bayleef. The herb Pokemon meerly sidestepped, and allowed the rock Pokemon to roll into the ocean where it quickly sank to the depths.



"Noo! Graveller.." Madison sank to his knees. "Now I have to go find him, take the chips I was beaten fairly even amidst my cheating.." Chris didn't pay much attention to him, and proceeded to grab the black, and orange Ultra Ball from his belt, and pressed the button in the middle to see it enlarge to about the size of a grapefruit.



"Bayleef, come back to your ball." He said calmly, and proceeded to enter the plush, green jungle on his left. He left the beach with Raichu at his heels, his boots crunching the bountiful undergrowth as he walked along. The humidity of the jungle, coupled with the sheer climate of the island made Chris' feet beg for him to rest.



He obliged by sitting on the nearest rock. Reaching down to his right leg he found the pocket on his kneecap, and he proceeded to rip apart the velcro to find his capsule case. Nosing around inside he was looking for the on labeled CS3x5, finding it he removed it, and eyed it for a moment. The silver casing cast a reflection of the tree behind him. pressing the red button on top, he threw it like a grenade to watch it explode in a cloud of smoke revealing a small closet.


"Raichu, what are you looking at?" He said as he exchanged his Timberland boots for a pair of white Air Force Ones. The mouses' hasty personality prompted it to not like sitting still for any given period of time other than its own. Deciding for his own good Chris also removed his hooded sweatshirt, and instead chose a white, and blue throwback jersey that read 'The Greatest', pressing the button on the side of the closet it resumed its capsule form, and he placed it back in the case. It was then an object dropped from the case, and stuck in the ground.



Chris bent over to discover it was his kunai knife from his training days in the academy, when he was training to fill one of the open positions on the ninja unit, led by Jounin Koga Yamagato. The open circle at the end of the three inch hilt revealed it, looking over the blade he discovered some inscriptions that read: If you hold to your dream, and stick to you path. You will realize true power.


"Hmph, master Koga always was insightful." He said to himself as he placed the knife in his pouch for quick access, and proceeded through the forest, waxy, green palm leaves reflecting yellow sunlight as he went. Raichu began to get excited as it to sensed the approach of a fight, it began discharging low-voltage electricity to calm itself down as to not upset the surrounding Pokemon.



Perhaps it was about five-o-clock, but he really didn't care as long as he reached his destination, so he could graduate with honors. The funny thing was that since he was applying for a spot in the ninja unit once he graduated, it would not be easy getting in, he had to make a good impression.


~~~~~~~~~~


The wind blew slowly as Chelsea walked through the Pine Forest, aptly named because of its many tall, sticky pine trees accompanied by the random weeping willow adjacent to your clear, blue pond here, and there. The Weeping Willows were indeed a thing to behold mostly because of the hundreds of drooping leaves almost all clinging to one branch, at which Jacey couldn't help marvel.

"Man, this place is beautiful!" She exclaimed. For once she did not have to wear her sunglasses which hid her lovely hazel-colored eyes. Brushing her blonde hair from her shoulder she continued on, cockle-burrs sticking to her black top, and it was a pain to remove them. Her midriff black top rested atop an almost skin-tight white undershirt; which seemed to be the style nowadays, her tight black pants gave her legs just enough breathing room as to not be overheated. She was enjoying herself immensely until she heard something behind her.



A medium sized, black and grey furred pokemon had snuck up behind her. The wolf like pokemon was around three and a half feet high at the head, and around a foot longer with the bristle like coal colored tail swishing back and forth slightly, as if the owner was joyed to have happened upon this unlucky victim. Twin dusky grey ears pricked up while the blood red eyes narrowed as a light growl started to rumble the pokemon's chest.



Thick, coarse black fur sprang up fron the back of the pokemon's neck, all the way down it's back to the base of the tail, and hung over it's sides almost like a fur coat some human would wear, and unlike the grey fur covering most of the rest of it's body, this fur gave it protection from attacks to it's back and neck. The three clawed paws were socked in black fur, like it's back, and the grey chest continued to vibrate slightly as the rumbled growl from the Mightyena got louder.



"Nice doggy, here you want something to eat." Chelsea stammered. The Mightyena continued to advance, drool dripping from its mouth in pools as it advanced on its quarry. Immediatly coming to her senses Chelsea broke into a run in the direction opposite of her predator, but to her dismay it was pursuing her, she let out a bloodcurlding scream that would've chilled even the strongest man to the bone.



The worst came when she tripped over a fallen limb, it was as if it had been planted there just to ensure her demise, she couldn't imagine why this Mightyena would want to attack her, but upon closer inspection she noticed it was foaming at the mouth, and its eyes were glazed over.


"Somebody anybody help me!!" She screamed desperately as the Pokemon continued to advance, she covered her face preparing for the inevitable pain that would come as the Mightyena ripped her bowels apart, and sadisticly devoured her flesh as she sat there dying. She envisioned herself laying on the ground in a pool of her own blood watching in horror as the rapid dog ripped open her stomach pulled the intestines out, and ripped them apart with gratuitous blood spilling all over. Chelsea prepared for her demise as the mutt lept into the air, only to dissolve into a cloud of fur, and blood as well as organs.



"Huh? What?" Chelsea questioned as she looked around seeing the Mightyena in two pieces beside her.


"You're welcome." A cold voice said. Looking around she saw the owner, a man of about nineteen with startling blue eyes, as well as pinkish-white hair trimmed into a bowl cut. The large halberd he held had a sharply curved tip from which dripped with blood that proceeded to pooled under it. The weapon from what she could make out was about five feet in length, and about one foot wide, barring the places were iron had been cut out making half circle formations probably used for grabbing onto, and hold quarry.




"Tha-Thank You!" She stammered staring at this fine specimen of a man. He stood a foot taller than his weapon, which made him look quite grand, his long, baggy sweat pants ended in brown bootes which were covered in a mix of blood, and brown muck; His jacket on the other hand was quite clean, despite being of a dark purple color. Looking at his belt she noticed 5 pokeballs at his side.




"Hmph, you should be more careful." He said coldly as he resheathed his halberd on his back. "Someone won't always be around to save you, come on Absol." Chelsea looked above him at an overhanging limb to see a shaggy, white furred Pokemon perched like a panther. Its dog-like rested atop its head next to a long, curved on its right. Its red eyes sparkled like fire beneath a few strands of white fur hanging near its face; its tail seemed nothing more than a sword.



"Ab..sol." The Pokemon said in a deep voice as it lept from the branch following its trainer as he left. She started to call out to him, but a cloud of sand kicked up, and he was gone..


~~~~~~~~~~


It was getting dark, and in the distance Chris could just make out a hidden building out on an island resting in the middle of the cove, approaching it he prepared for battle.. Slowly making his way down to the hidden alcove, trying his hardest not to slip, and fall whiich may result in a serious injury. Raichu on the hand was managing with the limber movement that seemed to come naturally to the mouse, it made him jealous somewhat.



A loud rumbling caused him to turn around quickly; A rock slide!! Chris grabbed Raichu, and hopped out of the the way of the boulders beering down on him, just barely dodging them. After the rock slides ceased he took a moment to look around, and take in his surroundings. The gentle lapping of waves on sand was replaced by violent breakers crashing onto rocks, in the dim light it was hard to see, but the faint glow Raichu gave off allowed him to see slightly.



"Hm, Sparky you think I should take off my sunglasses don't you?" Chris asked. Thinking back he remembered his sensei telling him to never remove the glasses because of the sheer power his curse had imbued him with, overall he really didn't know what the big deal was, the only thing he could do was see in the dark, so what was so bad about it?



"I guess you're right, Koga told me never to take them off unless I really need to." He stated. "In fact, Im going to put in these contacts just so I look somewhat normal." Removing his sunglasses, and looking at his reflection cast by the dark ocean allowed him to see his white eyes. 'The Dragon's White Eyes' Legend called them, they were supposedly a curse that gave its user untold power, but put them through untold trauma. This so-called curse had been forced upon him by no fault of his own, and he had never seen it so-called power, the only thing that those eyes had given him was despair.



"Sparky," He said as he squatted down, and sat on the rocky ground sitting a few feet above the ocean.



"You are the closet thing I've had to a friend ever since my mom, and dad were murdered." He said. Tears pooling at the corner of his eyes, the mouse tilted, and looked up at its trainer very confused at this. Chris flashed back to when he was ten, and still living in the Orange Islands, it had all started when he'd found that accursed tome..



--Flashback--
"Chris!" A light, cheery voice called out, literally floating on the wind. Chris ran down the street as fast as a ten year old could, that call meant dinner time; his favorite time of the day, his hazel eyes sparkled as he neared his house, black cornrows bouncing up, and down against his neck. The happy voices of dark-skinned children playing hopscotch, and basketball as metallic blue, and white police cars raced down the gray asphalt toward the glassy buildings of the downtown metro area hip-hop music playing in the background.

"Chris, time for dinner!" The voice called again as he neared the red-brick apartment complex he called home. A few older boys, and girls were crowding the stairs, so he had to scrunch himself against the cold, black stair railing to get through. It wasn't the Holiday Inn, but it was home to him, yellow wallpaper peeled off the walls in strips, and the beige, wooden stair weren't exactly sturdy, but held none-the-less as he ran up the stairs to his room.


"Mom, whats for dinner?" He asked empahtically.

"Tonite is fried chicken, and mashed potatoes, with orange jelo for dessert, go get your grandfather, he's out in the shed out back. Chris ran down the stairs towards the backdoor, age had dulled its vibrant yellow color to a sickly pale whitsh-yellow. He pushed open the door to see it was empty, and stead saw a strange book book..


The binding were covered with what looked like sand and gold dust on the edges, ink characters, tearing and rips here and there.

The cover was leather, bound with ties serving as joints for the cover’s opening. A symbol was stamped on it, five circles intertwined with each other, with what looked like a pokeball in the middle. A different symbol each with a respective character in the center.

The large book seemed to be very old, Chris looked at the titled it read: 'The Book of Five Rings'. The innermost circle contained a purple eye with a symbol directly in the center, the eye creepd him out as it seemed to follow him everywhere he moved. There was a warning that read: Caution to whomsoever should lay eyes on the accursed tome.

"One thousand year's of eternal darkness, and despair shall engulf the reader, but out of this misfortune shall come infathomable power."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean.?" Chris was not deterred by the warning, and proceeded to try, and undo the eather bindings that held the book shut. Each tethered was untied with the usual amount of caution displayed by you average ten year-old, and the book was flug open. Immediately the other rings began glowing, but the Water symbol blowed the brightest for some unknown reason.

"Gaah!!" Chris screamed as light swirled around him, entering different parts of his body; his eyes mostly, the sensation he felt could be likened to taking a knife composed entirely of fire, stabbing it into his eyes, twisting it around, then puring vinegar on it then he felt nothing...

Shrouded in darkness Chris heard a calm, almost celestial voice beckoning.

"LET THE TWO,GLITTERING STONES SHINE. ONE IS RED, ONE IS BLUE ,CONNECT THE PAST. TWO FRIENDS SHARING
POWER. OPEN A WINDOW TO A NEW WORLD THAT GLOWS. THE NEXT WORLD WAITS FOR YOU."

Chris jerked awake to see himself lying in a hospital bed staring at the gray tiled cieling, wires were placed in various places some he didn't appreciate. The air smelled of sterilization, and the white covers hurt his eyes. He looked around, and saw his mother, and older brother standing there looking at him.

"Mom I'm fine! I thought I was dead!" He exclaimed. His mother took a look at him then proceeded to bury her face in his brother's shoulder, her flowing auburn hair shaking with each sob.

"Whats wrong?" He look around confused. His brother skin was a few shades lighter than his, the flourescent lighting made it shine like black-strap molasses. The doctor approached him with a mirror.

"Brace yourself son." Was all the docttor said. The silver nametag read: Dr.Hachet, the doctor pulled a small mirror from the right pocket on his white labcoat, which Chris promptly snatched away. Looking in the mirror he saw to his horror that his irises, and his pupils were white.
--End Flashback--




Chris decided it was best if they rested, no use in taking on a few trainers if your're dogged-tired right? It wasn't to cold so he didn't feel the need for a blanket, the heat from Raichu was all they needed as both the young man, and the mouse drifted off to sleep.

"WRAAR!" A roar sounded afar off, and a giant flying dragon passed over high in the sky.

----------
End
----------
 
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Raichu_Trainer_Chris

Guest
Hey folks, no replies? Not a review, or even a random comment gauging me on how well I'm doing? Oh well, Chapter 4 is coming up, and I'm finishing up Chapter 5. Im considering lengthining the chapters, any thought?

Oh well preview: Chapter 4:Happy birthday! Weapon X is born.

“We decided to allow it a full maturation, so the better part of a year for it to reach full adulthood. It will be able to fight, although at a reduced rate, in about four months.” Juliet hissed to herself. She reminded herself that progress was progress, and that Virgil was at least alive.

“We’ll have to move it,” Melanie piped up, worming her way through the crowd. “The military knows about that thing. It’s not safe here. I say we move the entire base, torch everything that was here. No evidence.” A murmur worked through the crowd. Juliet abruptly raised her right hand in a silencing motion.
 
R

Raichu_Trainer_Chris

Guest
Chapter Six:Happy Birthday! Weapon X is born!



The sound of falling rocks hitting the deep sea below him, abruptly awoke Chris from his slumber. Numerous birds circled in the blue sky far above him spying for food no doubt. Sparky had since awakened as well, perhaps startled by the sudden noise, or maybe its natural clock had awoken it, the mouse turned to get its trainer. Although by now he was standing with his arms across his chest listlessly staring at the ocean.

"Sparky, it really is peaceful, and serene here dont you think?" He asked his Pokemon pal. The mouse nodded it head in agreement, then pointed its paw towards the island.

"In due time boy, remember everything has its place." He explain calmly. Thinking back to what he'd found out about that strange book.


--------------------------------------------------------
No one knows when, or where the Book of Five Rings was created, but some believe it was a great swordsman, samurai if you will who created the first of these great tomes in 407 B.C. The newest evidence suggested that the Books were written during a one hundred year period of strife between the three regions, known as The Warring States, sometime around 1247 A.D. The city of Mahogany in Johto hosted the book, and used it to train samurai, and thier Pokemon for battle. Mahogany was tragically burned down in 1250 A.D.

The Books, However, managed to survive. They were first found in a place called the Alpha Ruins also in Johto, one in a chamber depicting the legendary phoenix, Ho-oh. The other in a secret passage who's entrace wasn't revealed until the night of a full moon. A famous archeologist found it, and passed it down his family line for centuries, until a rich museum curator managed to rend it from their grasp through some rather unscrupuluos means, mind you.

The Book of Five Rings stayed in a musty old case in the Ancient Artifacts exhibit in the Lilycove Museum of Art for two centuries. Then dissappeared once again when a theft occured at the museum, seperating the texts.

Almost three hundred-fifty years later a man by the name of Braxton Woodard happened upon the tome which had been residing in his basement, Braxton proceeded to read the tome.

The next week, after the finding the ancient book, Braxton died of mysterious causes, and the book was taken to an art museum in Lilycove which featured feudal era artifacts, so it was that the book of moon was recovered, yet the book of life wasn't. Once the display closed, the book was shipped off to Mahogany, but it never made it to its destination..

Prodigy Lance Evans departed from his home in Blackthorn to Indigo Plateau to become the Champion and earn the right to travel to other continents and hopefully find the book. The other prodigy of the Dragon Clan, Clair, stayed behind and took up role of Blackthorn's Gym Leader so that she could guard the cave. Legend states that the Book(s) allow(s) the user to access powers he/ she would never have experienced in his/her lifetime.

The Book of Five Rings is made up of two volumns, each of which contains several parts, and then smaller parts, chapters if you will. They are, in this order….

Tome One:Book of Moon(A black cresent moon symbol is presented on the back of the book.)


Book of Earth:
The reader learns how you may manipulate the very sands of the planet to your will. Teaches disipline is paramount, by extensively studying this, how do you say, chapter? You become immovable as the mountains you can level.


Book of Water:
Enlightens reader on how you can master use of your chi, and effectively strengthen the techniques taught within the rest of the tome.

Book of Fire:
Teaches how one can master use of their inner strength, and work to become as fierce, and destructive as fire itself.


Book of Nature:
A ninja's passage, teaches you to be as silent as the bush, or forest in you pursuits. Also allows you to be enlightened on how to harness the very powers of nature for your own protection.

Book of Wind:
"Become swift as the wind," just as the passage entitles, the reader studies on how one can learn the move with the acuity, and ease of the wind, stopping for nothing. This chapter was belived to have been written by the leader of a famous calvary, detailing on how he taught his troops, and horses to ride faster than the wind.

The second tome is much mor complicated than the first as it is written in a much older language than than the first.

Tome two:Book of Life.(The front sports five rings intertwined with each other, each with a different symbol. The back has a golden circle surrounded by extravagant triangles.)

Book of Taiyou:
Book of Lightning:
Book of Void:
Book of Purity:
Book of Mailce:

No information is known about the book of Life at this point in time. Legend has it that this book allows the reader to meddle with the very fabric of existance.


~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chris immediately snapped out of his trance, and called for Sparky to get on his shoulder.

"Lets go boy, were passing this test. Not only will I graduate, but I'll make d*mn sure I get that spot as an ANBU!" Chris said this with so much determination it made him feel much braver than he actually was, Sparky even got itself pumped up. Chris climbed down the perilous face slowly, all the while hearing the lapping of he waves against the jagged, gray rocks below him. Above him various sea birds were causing a rucus as out of nowhere, a large Fearow swopped in, and made a feast off of them, he paid no attention to this as he continued his descent.

Nearing the breakers he decided it was best if he swam the rest of the way. Using a jitsu to cut down an overhanging tree, he used it as a canoe to ride to the building in the distance. Checking to make sure he still had his Pokemon he was satisfied, and looked forward to earning his certificate of graduation.


By now the currents had pulled him close enough to the island to jump off on the rocky beach without much risk of drowning. Before him stood the building that would make way for all his dreams to come true.


~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Thus, Virgil is officially born,” Sebastian said over his shoulder to Juliet. ”Cute little bugger ain’t he?”
Juliet looked at the baby genetic experiment. It was anything but cute. Its body was skeletally thin, enveloped in a slight, wispy shroud. Its limbs were similarly thin, and its “arms” consisted of four long, relatively thin white tentacles that looked like leather whips had been embedded into the creature’s shoulder sockets. It legs were a few inches in length with two stubby mounds of flesh serving as feet. The creature itself was only about a foot long. It head was shaped like a banana with a mouth at one end. She could just make out two clear fangs less than a few millimeters long. Its tail was about half a foot long, and riddled with bony extrusions ending in a scythe-like shape. Its white skin allowed her to almost clealy see its inner organs.


“Yes, such a cute face that only a mother could love,” Juliet said dryly. “So, we should be glad that Virgil isn’t designed to be winning beauty contests.”


“Its powers are all intact,” Sebastian reminded her. "Aside from being able to transform that is. It won't learn that until it matures."
The entire lab remembered, having gathered around the tank for Virgil’s hatching, the creature slashing apart the thin membrane serving as an “egg” and the fit the creature had thrown as it adjusted to being alive.


“How long will it take to mature?” Juliet asked.


“We decided to allow it a full maturation, so the better part of a year for it to reach full adulthood. It will be able to fight, although at a reduced rate, in about four months.” Juliet hissed to herself. She reminded herself that progress was progress, and that Virgil was at least alive.


“We’ll have to move it,” Melanie piped up, worming her way through the crowd. “The military knows about that thing. It’s not safe here. I say we move the entire base, torch everything that was here. No evidence.” A murmur worked through the crowd. Juliet abruptly raised her right hand in a silencing motion.


“Not here. Melanie, you’re the only combat-trained operative I have left, so your word does indeed have weight. Talk to me later about it, in private, though.”


“Yes, ma’am.” Virgil sneezed, a high-pitched, hissing noise that drew attention to itself.


“Uh, ma’am,” a junior scientist asked. “If you don’t mind… Juliet became self-conscious of the document in her hand.


“Right, sorry, I somehow let Virgil’s birthday get interrupted. The winners of the birthday pool are…”
She opened up the folded papers in her hand and skimmed down to the list of people who had betted on that particular day for Virgil to be born.


“Jones, Cheng, Wong, and myself,” Juliet read aloud, the actual spoken list being redundant because the winners already knew who they were. Sebastian stood half up so he could read the paper, so he could confirm for himself that Juliet was being truthful about her own name being in there. It was indeed the truth. Sebastian sat down again, muttering.


“Quite a sum in there, even divided by four,” Cheng thought aloud. Juliet rechecked the sheet.


“Four million, seventy thousand and twenty yen. Yeah, about a million each.” Half of the crowd clapped listlessly, having wanted to win, themselves. Juliet waved most of the officers out.


“Okay, show’s over, business to attend to.” As the crowd dispersed, Juliet leaned over Sebastian’s shoulder and watched Tribo move about in its habitat. She’d just watch it a few moments longer before attending to business.


Giovanni by profession couldn’t show any outward emotion upon hearing—face to face, no less—from Executive Juliet that Virgil had been successfully hatched from its egg with no ill effects and was indeed living a mostly normal infancy. He wasn’t sure if Juliet’s comment on “clawing”, which she likened to human teething, was serious or in jest.


“You’ve done well, Juliet,” Giovanni said. “You remind me of my predecessor in that regard. Succeeding through massive failures, I mean.”
Juliet nodded “hai”, remaining standing at attention. The subject of the woman known to most Rockets simply as Madam Boss—the head of Team Rocket before Giovanni—was never touched on even by the Executives, let alone Giovanni himself.


“Your idea to destroy the known lab and move Virgil to a secure location has merit,” Giovanni continued, glancing at the computer monitor on his desk. “Elites Andrew, Simon, Vashti, and Bie Long have been assigned to assist in maintaining secrecy along with Executive Simon's primary security group.”


Juliet whistled in awe. “Sorry, sir,” she said, realizing her error.


Giovanni waved his hand in dismissal. “I understand your surprise. Virgil remains Team Rocket’s foremost priority project, akin to its predecessor Mewtwo. All Rocket resources must be ready to give their aid in any way they can.”


“I understand, sir. However, with all due respect, I only passed on that idea. It came from my combat specialist, Agent Melanie.”


“The thought never crossed your mind?”


“No, sir. Sorry, sir.” Giovanni arced an eyebrow and hmmed, saying nothing further on the subject. The silence held on for an awkward amount of time.


“Is that all, sir?” Juliet asked at last.


“Not quite,” Giovanni replied as an afterthought. “The Beta Site has been chosen. Development is underway.” Giovanni opened a drawer in his desk and fingered through numerous folders. He took one out and slid it across his desk to Juliet.


“Full details are enclosed in this document. Destroy it after memorizing it and speak of it to no one. Dismissed.”


Juliet picked up the document, saluted, and walked out of the office. She resisted the temptation to open the folder as she left the Rocket headquarters and was transported back to her normal base. The sight of Elite Andrew as she headed inside was mildly unsettling. Juliet, oddly, thought no further about him. She got to her office and opened the folder. It was immediately clear that Giovanni hadn’t checked the contents of the folder or, if he had, had left the yellow sheet of paper on top of several documents intact.


“Translation of the long-winded documents,” Juliet read the yellow paper to herself.


“Beta Site’s off in the scenic Orange Islands on an otherwise abandoned island near where Lugia appeared a couple of years ago. It’s built like a bomb shelter, fully stocked, so supplies don’t need to be shipped in besides what we have already. Virgil’s gonna live there for the next few months until the little rascal can fight, then it’s going to work for Team Rocket, and you know the rest. No need to thank me. Signed, Toshiro, Techno-Babble Translator of Team Rocket.”


Juliet chuckled. She flipped through the small stack of papers, which said in five pages what Yamato had said in one-half.
Memorizing the details, Juliet turned off the fire alarm and took a cigarette lighter from her desk and put it to its unintended purpose—she burned the folder and all papers inside. The smoke stunk horribly, and there were no windows to open to clear the air. She set the air ventilation on high, which made a loud noise, and left the room, coughing.


~~~~~~~~

Virgil jumped blindingly fast towards the door to the room in which it was being held. The Deoxyslike, artificial Pokémon struck the door with its two long claws but failed to penetrate the metal.


“Virgil,” Juliet said firmly. “Calm down.” Virgil stopped attacking the door at once and simply stood there, facing Juliet.


“Good,” Juliet told the small genetic experiment. Andrew relaxed his arm, which had reflexively reached for the tranquilizer gun on his belt. “How do you do that?” He asked her, amazed.


“No idea,” Juliet said, slowly crouching down to pick up Virgil.“Wow, it’s light.”


“That’s a fighting machine, you shouldn’t be babying it.” Andrew growled.


“It is a baby,” Juliet stated matter-of-factly. “It’s already demonstrating some signs of mental instability when left alone too long. I highly doubt the scientists’ explanation that it’s genetic.”Andrew raised his eyebrows as if to challenge Juliet.


“So what do you think it is?”


“It’s lonely.”


Andrew scoffed. “It’s a fighting machine!”


“It’s also a Pokémon,” Juliet said, remaining calm. “I’m determined to make sure it grows up just fine.”
Andrew shook his head as he walked past Juliet and opened the door.


“It couldn’t have been lonely with the two of us in the room. Just think you’re lucky that I’m going to put this down as ‘reinforcing loyalty.’”


“I will,” Juliet said, thinking, “I won’t” instead.


“Now then,” Juliet said to Virgil, still holding the infant Pokémon like it was a human baby, “let’s just forget he was ever here.”


Andrew took a deep, calming breath as he closed the door. His entire experience at Beta Site had been to him a personal hell. He had little respect for Juliet, both professionally and personally, and being unable to pull rank on her as an Elite frustrated him.


“She’s too attached,” Ryan muttered, walking down the hall. He stopped after realising he was being followed. He recognised the sound of the footsteps.


“Bei Long?” Andrew hazarded a guess, not looking over his shoulder.


“Temper, temper,”He said, not looking at Ryan as he walked by the fresh promotion. “The trick to handling the Executives is to realise they’re just businessmen. We’re the real members of Team Rocket.” Bei Long dressed in the same uniform as he, the only difference between them was hieght, and skin color. Long was of Chinese origin, while he was a native of Ireland.


Andrew watched as Bei Long strode off without saying another word. He had a point, Andrew realised. The man couldn’t have been speaking from a conjectural standpoint, either—along with his partner Vashti, Bei Long was the highest-ranking Elite in Team Rocket.

Vashti noticed Bei Long entering the room, she simply didn’t respond.


“So you told him a ludicrous story about the Elites being the only real Rockets?” Vashti asked, sipping her tea.


“Yeah, I told him,” He replied. He took a seat opposite Vashti and looked at the counter of the staff room. “You know, someone forgot to put on a fresh pot of coffee.”


“Not my problem,” Vashti shrugged it off and sipped her tea. “I don’t drink it.” Bei Long grumbled as he stood up and started a fresh pot.


“He bought it?” Vashti asked after a moment had passed.


“Yeah, he bought it,” Bei Long said, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. He looked over at the coffee pot impatiently. “Think he’ll try something stupid?”


“Undoubtedly,” Vashti said.


“You know, don’t you think this is a bit, er, treacherous?”


“How so?” Vashti sipped her tea again, and then paused before continuing. “I didn’t even think about it until I met him. However, I am convinced that despite his exceptional skill, he would not function well as an Elite. I do not aim for his permanent removal, simply his demotion. He remains an asset to Team Rocket.” She pursed her lips to take another sip, her blonde hair swayed gently. Her white, and grey bodysuit had the same silver "R" that the other Elites shared, as well as the additional pouch on the leg to carry her pistol.


Bei Long adjusted his black sunglasses. “Stop talkin’ all fancy. I know he is, all right? It just seems, well, underhanded.” Vashti set her empty teacup down on the table.


“More so than what we normally do as Rocket operatives?” Her boots making a click noise as she walked over to the couch to lounge.


“You’ve got me there,” Bei Long admitted. “But it’s to one of our own.”


Vashti leaned back on the couch. “It’s in his best interests.”


“Yeah, yeah, just put on a fresh pot next time, okay?”



---------
End
---------

So we have a cross between Deoxys, and the Xenomorph from the "Alien" movies. Now the plot thickens.
 
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Raichu_Trainer_Chris

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Chapter 6 Preview: Vega Asakura, master trainer!

Stategy is the craft of the warrior. Commanders must enact the craft, and troopers should know this Way. There is no warrior in the world today who really understands the Way of strategy.

It is said the warrior's is the twofold Way of pen and sword, and he should have a taste for both Ways. Even if a man has no natural ability he can be a warrior by sticking assiduously to both divisions of the Way. Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death. Although not only warriors but priests, women, peasants and lowlier folk have been known to die readily in the cause of duty or out of shame, this is a different thing. The warrior is different in that studying the Way of strategy is based on overcoming men. By victory gained in crossing swords with individuals, or enjoining battle with large numbers, we can attain power and fame for ourselves or for our lord. This is the virtue of strategy.

~Miyamota Musashi. Book of Five Rings.
-Book of Earth.
 
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Raichu_Trainer_Chris

Guest
Will someone post a comment? I have no idea if I'm doing pretty god, or if I'm doing horrible, so please someone.
 
R

Raichu_Trainer_Chris

Guest
Chapter 6: Enter Vega Asakura, world class trainer! Chris finally graduates!




Stategy is the craft of the warrior. Commanders must enact the craft, and troopers should know this Way.

There is no warrior in the world today who really understands the Way of strategy.

It is said the warrior's is the twofold Way of pen and sword, and he should have a taste for both Ways.

Even if a man has no natural ability he can be a warrior by sticking assiduously to both divisions of the Way.

Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.


Although not only warriors but priests, women, peasants and lowlier folk have been known to die readily in the cause of duty or out of shame, this is a different thing.


The warrior is different in that studying the Way of strategy is based on overcoming men.


By victory gained in crossing swords as well as wits with individuals, or enjoining battle with large numbers, we can attain power and fame for ourselves or for our lord. This is the virtue of strategy.

~Miyamota Musashi. Book of Five Rings.
-Book of Earth.



~~~~~~~~~~








Realgam Tower was an impressive structure, its trademark colloseum stood about one hundred feet in the sky, balancing on a wide reinforced concrete beam which equalled a small football field in width. The cream colored exterior reflected the sunlight enabling it to been seen miles away. The interior was all the more spacious, multiple lifts, and elevators were designed to ensure that everyone could manuveur the structure with ease.


Surrounded by several steel beams the ground a huge lobby housed the registration desk, as well as the Pokemon Center-trainers who hadn't had much luck in scaling the tower often found themselves here.- Vega wasn't one of those trainers. The second floor was accessed by a system of elevators designed to carry extremely heavy loads, to the capacity of several kilograms.


Resembling an enormous dance hall the the room was expansive, gold plated and with a large, sand pit of a floor. The polished gold marble glared at them, the giant pillars with winged gargoyles grinning down at them sinisterly. There were torches burning in brackets around the room, reminiscent of a dungeon a gold dungeon. Trainers who had ascended to this level were awaiting thier opportunity to advance further to hopefully gain the prize offered by the head, and maybe secure a job as well.


Four chambers encompassed the second floor of Realgam tower, belief was that they housed trainers staying overnight after of course the trainers paid an extra fee, after all that was how Realgam made its money. The second floor also housed a dining room which right now was quite drab, but after a large victory the place would spring to life with extravagant decorations, exotic dancers, and not to mention the fiest foods money could buy.


At the very top of the tower stood its pride, and joy-The Colloseum! The brick layout surrounding the arena was checkered blue, and pink clashing somewhat. The arena itself at maximum capacity could house more than five hundred thousand paying spectators, all of whom would be roaring with anticipation in the events to come. The marble stairs that encompassed the stadium were snow white from hours of scrubbing from the automated janitors, and cushions on the seat made them suitable for drawn-out matches.



The familiar battle rectangle was drawn on the solid marble in the center of the arena. On the side opposite him, stood Venus, standing in the trainer’s box. She had a sneer on her lips and a pokeball in her hand, her sun colored hair flowing in the breeze. The large 2D red, and white circle was drawn in the middle of the rectangle much like a basketball court.



A Team Snatch grunt was standing to the side of the arena, waiting with two flags, one blue, the other white, in her white gloved hands. There was a scoreboard above her, and it was black, waiting to be turned on. Vega walked towards the empty trainer’s box and yawned, sitting down on the ground lazily, his halberd flailing slightly.Venus snarled out across the sand at him, she ran her hands over her blue sundress for good luck, not that it would help much.


Nascour sat cross-legged on his "throne" high above the other competitors with a sneer on his face, his long, white blowing in the wind as well. A ragged, red cape hung from his back showing his skill as a trainer, while a large C emblem with a stormy background on the front signalled his status as the head of the organization. His pasty white face would suck the life from almost anything, a very impatient man, but even he liked how this trainer was stacking up against his admins.


Thus far Vega had been fighting his way up this vast tower, trying to see exactly what rare Pokemon CIPHER was giving away. It had better be worth his while, or this whole trip would have been for naught.


"Vega Asakura has successfully defeated Dakim Rajuraii in six on six elimination style combat. Next up is Venus O'Day defending her positon against the challnger!"

He had picked off the underlings without much trouble, and these so-called administrators hadn't given him much of a challenge either, his Pokemon hadn't even broken a sweat, why he wanted to challenge this organization he wasn't sure, but hey battle experience wasn't a bad thing was it?

"You uncultured rube! I shall teach you manners!" Venus taunted, her blue eyes sparkling with anticipation. Not something Vega enjoyed. The grunt raised her referee flags in the air to signal the start of the match. Venus threw the red, and white sphere though the air, and released a strange cat Pokemon, its small, purple mane contrasting against its cream colored body fur made it resemble a petit lion. It also carried a tuft of fur on its tail that matched it mane, purring slightly as it licked its dainty paws, and looked up at Vega with shining eyes.

"Delcatty crush him!"

"Hm how fitting, a pathetic Pokemon for a pathetic trainer. I should've figured as much." Vega sighed as he slowly sootd up, and plucked a Pokeball from his belt as well.

"Flygon! Show her what true strength looks like!" He ordered, his icy blue eyes piercing Delcatty's.

The dragon Pokemon's body stood out against the marble floor with various shades of green. It flapped its wings a few times causing the air around them to be colored a blurry red, and green for a moment. Flygon's body was streamlined, and ended in a long tail with three leaflike appendages at the end.

"Delcatty, Quick Attack!" The trainer ordered. The cat Pokemon lunged, faster than most human eyes could follow, but it appeared to Vega as fat people running a marathon.

"Flygon, Sandstorm." The order was given calmly. The dragon began emitting a thick cloud of sand, and thanks to the wind it began scattering faster than normal. Flygon turned the billowing sand particles into a large twister, Vega's sweat pants billowed behind him. Delcatty held off on the charge, its vision blurred to the point it could no longer see its opponent.

"Now follow up with Quick Attack."

The green dragon used its own version of the Quick Attack, and blended in with the blowing sands as it vanished then reappeared to place a well directed attack. Delcatty staggered from the ambush, and was then sent flying with a quick swipe of Flygon's tail as the dragon dissappeared back into the sand.

Nascour watched the battle intently this trainer was beginning to exceed his own expectations, perhaps this was the sort of trainer he had been searching for. He allowed his mind to wander frm the battle as her Milotic went down in defeat. Evice had left him with a tough job, for in Orre people were less reluctant to help out with the Shadow Pokemon Plan.

Team Rocket had took up the project again with renewed fervor at the discovery of something spectacular, so CIPHER had their support now. He knew Eldes was having more luck than he was, and why that was the case was anyones guess. The Neo-Shadow Pokemon plan was in full swing, and as he watched this fight his scientists were creating new types of Shadow Pokemon by the minute.

The sound of Venus's Meganium crashing to the ground snapped him back to reality, Vega's Flygon had single-handedly defeated half of Venus's team, and he wasn't stopping there.


"Sh*T! I'm losing!" Venus cursed aloud. The spectators were stunned at having seen Venus flustered for the first time. Ein himself was suprised at how well this newcomer was faring, he wasn't even putting forth much effort. Clearly this trainer was something out of the ordinary.


Vega kept his cool, and continued fighting his downhill battle, never before in his life had he been more dissappointed than he was at this point in time. Ever since his loss to Gary Oak in the Neo League Finals, he'd vowed to become the most powerful trainer in the world, even Giovanni Buron trembled at the mention of his name. Then why was he so empty? Why was it that no one could present a decent challenge? Was it perhaps that he'd trained to such an extent as to which normal trainers couldn't attain, or did have something to do with his secret power?


"Ampharos! Zap Cannon!" Her command rang out. The yellow sheep Pokemon surrounded itself in a orb of electricty, and released it in a large beam, but thanks to his quick thinking Flygon dodged it through the use of yet another Quick Attack.


"Finish this, Hyper Beam!" Vega was now sick of this fight, the dragon closed its eyes, and when it opened them they were shining a holographic medley of sparkly oranges, and yellows. Flygon fired the multi-colored beam from its mouth which conneced with the opponent causing a large explosion, smoke consumed the arena causing anyone within a thirty yard radius to be robbed of thier sight. When the dust settled the electric sheep Pokemon lay on the ground unconscious, Venus sorrowfully recalled it.


"Hm, looks like your admins get more incompetent as I progress, and to think you make yourself out to be an invincible organization. Bah what a miserable specter..."


Vega's speech was interrupted by the sound of Nascour's hand clapping.


"Young man, it is clear that you are quite skilled, but as you will soon see. It takes more than skill to beat me!" Nascour procured a few Pokeballs from seemingly nowhere, and tossed them out on the field.


"Hmph, talk is cheap. Lets go!" Vega returned as he recalled Flygon, and took two more balls from his belt.


Nascour scowled, and revealed his Pokemon. One a large, blue, four-legged metal spider with red eyes, and a large "X" separating them. The other an enormous blue, and white walrus with a furry, white mane, and majestic, white tusks.


"Walrein, and Metagross huh? Honestly I expected more from you Nascour, after all-being the head of an evil organization must be hard."


Vega's Pokeballs opened to reveal a hellhound with a red and black body, and two long curved horns. Its snout pointed upwards, as it leaned back to release a loud howl.


"First up is my Houndoom, and next is my Absol."


Absol's long "C" shaped blade on its head made slashing sounds as it ripped the air around it. This battle was going to end far faster than anticipated....


Nascour's Gardevoir trembled, and fell before the team of Absol, and Houndoom, its master stood dumbfounded that he'd been beaten by this child. The mere prospect of it was enough to make any man retch.


"Well, what was that prize you were handing out?" Vega asked jeeringly.


Nascour looked at him degradingly before he ordered several grunts to attack him. For the moment he stood there taking in the scene before leaping into action. Vega swug his enormous halberd as if it were light as a feather -an amazing feat considering the blade was about five feet long, and one foot thick-;after a few minutes the bodies of the grunts Nascour had sent to attack him lay strewn across the bloodied arena.


"Well, you're a *******, and thats for sure." He said with the air of a man who'd suddenly become bored. He calmly resheathed his weapon before asking. He didn't mind taking the lives of those who opposed him, Jacey didn't like that much about him. She always tried to change him, but nothing she did was really effective.


"Is there anyone else you'd like to relieve of duty?"


Nascour meerly scowled at him, disbelieving that someone with that sort of power, and prowess could exist.


"For a warrior you truly are oblivious of your surroundings."


Vega looked around to see he had been surrounded by CIPHER grunts armed with AK-47s, their silver barrels reflecting what little sunlight that shown through. He gripped the two foot hilt of his halberd, and prepared to swing, but suddenly a huge object that seemed to be spinning on its side in mid-air sped toward his assailants knocking them about, maiming a few. A dark figure did a double front flip in the air before landing beside him, and catching her weapon.


"Vega, you seem off your game today" A woman of about twenty yelled. A form fitting white tube top that ended at her midriff covered her chest, dark fishnets covering her stomach below that. Fishnets came out from the top of the tube tope and covered her neck and arms to her fingertips. She wore baggy black pants with many silver zippers on them. The large boomerang hung on a strap around her shoulder.


"Hmph, Its about time you showed up, I was beginning to get bored."


"Hah, don't worry I'm here." She smirked as she brushed back her blonde bangs before putting the rest of her hair into a ponytail her green eyes sparkling.


"Amara you are such a glory fiend!" Another voice rang out, this one somewhat annoyed. She dropped in front of another grunt, and slashed him, leaving deep, bloody gashes with her long nails.


"Lets see if you enjoy my poison talons." She laughed a ringing laugh. The grunt doubled over, and began faoming at the mouth. Cari pulled out a black nine millimeter, and put on the silencer before placing it in the holster on her leg. Her blue, and white bodysuit made her appear sleeker, and more curvier than Amara. Her inch long nails which were green with blue swirls were now stained with red blood.


"This is fun, much better than prison."


"I thought you would say that. Now I'm glad I busted you out."


"Hm, does this mean we owe you something in exchange for freeing us? Amara said slowly looking him up, and down.


Vega laughed. "No nothing like that, I just want you to be my traveling companions. Nothing more."


"I hope you're gonna hook us up with some Pokemon because our were put down."


"It'll all be taken care of- this time through legal means. Thats why we're here after all."


"You mean, the prize Pokemon will belong to us!" Cari, and Amara said together.


"Thats exactly what I mean."


The two women looked at him appreciatively.


"Don't start thankin me, and getting all emotional, or I'll kill you myself." He said gripping his halberd. The two women in turned laughed, and walked towards him seductively.


"Don't worry, I'm sure me, and Cari can find a more pleasurable way of thanking you." She stressed the word 'pleasurable'.


Vega shrugged. "Thats something I can look forward to."


Turning back to Nascour he pointed his weapon towards him threateningly as his two Pokemon got into attack position without being commanded. Cari, and Amara in turn did the same.


"All right, I've played your pathetic game, and won. Now give me my prize!"


The leader of CIPHER sighed angrily before turning to a box behind him. Opening it he revealed rows upon rows of Pokeballs, he tossed to of them to the women before stalking off quietly.


"Hm, hey medusa-guy what-" Cari started. When she turned Nascour had dissappeared, along with the box of Pokeballs.


"Oh, well lets see whats inside." Vega said.

The two women tossed their strangely colored Pokeballs on the ground, and out came two small Pokemon. One snakelike, and blue with a small ball were its mouth would be, and the other olive colored with what resembled black tear drops under its eyes, a large horn protruded from its head as well as a frilly formation on its backside. Both Pokemon had burning, hateful looks in their eyes...


~~~~~~~~~~~~



The building loomed over him casting a long, black shadow. Chris had made it this far in the exams, and all he had to do was step through the door, and complete the first step to realize his dream. Fate was knocking at his door, and he opened it. The enormous rusted metal door creaked as he strained to push it open the stale, musty air hit him like a punch in the face, he winced at the sight of some bugs helping a Pidgeotto complete the decomposition process.


The dank hall was a bit dark, so Raichu light it up slightly, but not enough to see a lot. He could hear Zubat flying in the distance, the rapid fluttering of their wings remiscient of hummingbirds.


"Umbreon, light the way a bit more." He said as he released the velvety black Eeveelution, it commenced to licking it velvety black tail as if Chris hadn't said anything.


"What are you waiting for?"


"Oh, sorry, you want Eevee don't you?"


Umbreon nodded, opened, and closed its wide, crimson eyes a bit before, its rings pulsed slighty as they radiated yellow light. Chris obliged by releasing its companion from the Pokeball, its cream colored mane swaying gently. It shook its delicate maw, trying to rid itself of the pungent taste of the stale air. The two Pokemon nuzzled for a moment while Chris, and Sparky looked on.


"Ok lets go."


The three Pokemon nodded, and walked down the hall. The trip was somewhat uneventful, barring the Golbat attacks that had to be fended off by various electric attacks from Raichu. Umbreon also helped by utilising a Mean Look that scared most of the Zubats away, Eevee disposed of the bolder ones through various means. Winged, blue bodies flew rapidly trying to escape his Pokemon's attacks. Chris rummaged through his pocket to find a smoke ball, he called his Pokemon next to him, and threw the ball down as a larger than normal Golbat was bearing down on him. The bat was met with nothing for as the smoke cleared it revealed that nothing but thin air replaced the spot where its attackers had once been.



"Whew, that was close!" He commented as he continued down the hall followed by by his trusty companions.



He had walked for what seemed like hours before he saw a bright light at the end of the hall, and he ran toward it, his Pokemon easily kept up with his pace. By the time he'd reached the light he realized several cadets had already made it before him, and Devon, and Melina were among them. The room was newly furninshed compared to the hall he'd just come from-a welcome adjustment-, the walls were newly painted white with a large scoreboard in the middle, and lights hung from the ceiling though they were somewhat dim, the floor was still hard, and bumpy though.



"So I didn't think you'd make it Christie." Devon said.


Chris glared at him. "Its Chris, and I'm warning you don't f*uck around with me."


Melina laughed amidst the numerous 'Oohs' from the others. One cadet walked up to his friend, and pretended to b*tchslap him before pointing to Devon.


"Why you little b*tch, I'll kill you." He said reaching for Chris.


"Hey! Hey! Break it up you two!" Someone stepped in. "Devon you know damn well Chris would kick your ***."


There was a long silence in which Chris could once again here the Zubats in ths distance, Sparky sat on the ground between Umbreon, and Eevee who did likewise. A loudspeaker broke the silence.


"Welcome, and congratualations to the ten trainers who made it here." The man nodded toward them. "Since all of you made it in record time we have a deal for you."


The cadets waiting anxiously for the supposed proposal.


"There will be a series of battles in which only five cadets will graduate with honors, and their names will be engraved on the plaque outside the school."


The cadets seemed to agree with this idea, and awaited their parings. About three minutes later the scoreboard came to life as it lit up, showing the brackets for the impromptu tournament. The first match was Melina versus Jason. The battle was over in seconds as Melina's Golem stomped all over Jason's fire, flying, and bug Pokemon, had more than three been allowed he might've won with his Seadra.


Match two had two hispanics squaring off. The one by the name of Richardo pulled off a last minute win using his Primeape's Rage attack much to the audiences surprise. The third match went uneventfully as Carla annihalated Brad with her Haunter, Shadow Punch turned out to be a very usefull move. Match number four resulted in a stalemate in which the winner had to be chosen by coin toss, the call was heads, and the coin flipped several times in the air before landing on tails. The loser was quite angry, and stormed out of the hall in a rage.


"My turn next I guess." Chris said as he cracked his knuckles, and looked over at Devon who seemed equally ready.


Stepping to the opposite side of the hall Chris took his place, and prepared for battle. His opponent glared at him his brown hair swaying gently. Devon flashed a peace-sign at Melina who blushed.


"Here are the rules, no wide-scale destructive attacks like Earthquake, or weather attacks which includes the electric move Thunder, for those of you lucky, or skilled enough to know it. Hyper Beam, and Rock Slide are prohibited as well. You begin anytime."


Devon led off with his favorite starter-his Drowzee, the brown, and yellow tapir-like Pokemon pointed its clawed finger at Chris before letting out a strange laugh.


"Thats an ugly little *******." Chris said. He knew from his training in the battle simulators that Drowzee's were stronger against elemental moves, than physical ones. Fingering the smooth spheres at his side he opted for Umbreon who immediately lept into action.


Devon immediatly began the assault. "Drowzee, Hypnosis!"


The tapir began moving his hands up, and down in an entracing motion trying to render Umbreon helpless, the Eeveelution began swaying side-to-side as it began to fall victim to the attack.


"Block the sleep waves with your Confuse Ray!" He ordered.


Umbreon shook off the dizziness, and formed wispy yellow energies around it attempting to disorient it long enough to hopefully defeat it. Unforetunately before Umbreon could get the attack to connect, Drowzee attacked with a Mega Punch attack that sent the Eeveelution reeling. The yellow energy faded as Umbreon shook its head to rid itself of the stars it saw.


"Try a Faint Attack!"


"Poison Gas attack!"


Drowzee was quicker, and inhaled sharply through its short, stumby trunk before releasing a noxious purple gas that filled the hall. The rest of the cadets coughed as did Chris, Devon seemed accustomed to the gas, and resisted it. Umbreon despite the gas managed to fade into the background of the room, and hide in the shadows its rings glowed a bright yellow as it lept to attack the Pokemon pinning it to the ground.


"Bite it on the neck, do not let it get up!" Chris was starting to use more brutal tactics than he liked using, but he was determined to win at all costs.


Umbreon objected to the command, but did as it was told, and locked its jaw onto the tapirs neck refusing to let go. Drowzee struggled to break free, but to no avail. It slowly lost consciousness as Umbreon kept it lock on the Pokemon. Devon angrily recalled Drowzee as Chris awaited his next choice.


"Poliwhirl, Doubleslap!" The blue tadpole Pokemon possesed a large black spiral in the center of tis white belly. The Tadpole lept to slap Umbreon with its large gloved hands.


"Now, Mega Punch!"


A white gloved fist struck Umbreon in the face sending it flying back.


"Follow up with a Water Gun!"


Before Umbreon could get back on its knees it was struck by a pressurized stream of water that felled it in a final hit. The Eeveelution lay in a small pool of water with swirls in its eyes.

"Damn you! Bayleef you're up next!"


The herb Pokemon wafted away the smell of the poison gas with a flick of its enormous leaf. The rolled up leaves on its neck resembled a chocker of sorts.


"Poliwhirl, Doubleslap!"


Was the command given, but the tadpole stood there seemingly in another world.


"I said attack Poliwhirl!"


The Pokemon continued to stand there just swaying.


"Devon, the entire Chikorita line can produce different fragrances that change the moods of whomever should smell them. Poliwhirl's fighting spirit has been dulled by the aroma I taught Bayleef to produce"


Devon scowled deeply before commanding Poliwhirl to attack once more, this time a Mega Punch. The tadpole snapped alert, and weakly ran towards Bayleef delivering a half-assed blow.


"Razor Leaf now!"


With a flick of its leaf Bayleef released a stream of sharp, emerald colored leaf that cut up the tadpole severly. Poliwhirl staggered, and tried to catch itself.


"Body Slam it!"


Bayleef shot two green vines from its neck, and bound Poliwhirl. The tadpole struggled with all its might, but it failed in freeing itself. The herb Pokemon hoisted it about eight feet off the ground before slamming it down on the ground, then running towards it, and leaping into the air bringing down all its weight on the tadpole.


"Poliwhirls' done for." Chris stated, quite proud of his Pokemon.


"Ok now its serious, Vulpix!" Chase tossed out his third Pokemon expecting a type advantage, but Chris had other plans.


A tiny red fox Pokemon appeared from the ball, it licked its six tails indiviualy before turning to stare at its opponent. Bayleef danced a little jingle before ramping up the output of its fragrance.


"Will-of-the-Wisp, then follow up with a Flamethrower!"


Vulpix's tails each began glowing then released a tiny flaming orb, the orbs flew at Bayleef in a line, but the herb Pokemon managed to dodge the attack. Thats what Devon wanted at the last second Vulpix released a large stream of fire that was certain to knockout Bayleef, but at the last second...


"Put up a Light Screen!!" Chris yelled.


Bayleef nodded, and stared towards the oncoming flames. Taking a deep breath it closed its eyes, and projected a large blue shield in front of itself. The fire attack cracked the barrier a little, but it did not get through, Bayleef was safe!


"What the-"


"Devon let me take you to school, and here's lesson one never underestimate your oppenents! Bayleef throw Vulpix into the air with your vines!


The herb Pokemon once again shot two more green vines from its neck, and tossed Vulpix into the air.


"Lesson two, exploit you opponents weakness! Follow up with a Razor Leaf!"


Bayleef waved its leaf, and released a larger flurry of leaves at the still airborne Vulpix. The fox yelped in pain as its fur was painfully sliced, and blood began to run.


"Finally lesson three, don't ever mess with me! Body Slam it now!!"


Bayleef shot its vines at Vulpix once again, and bound it tightly. Using all its strength it brought down the fox with a crash, then ran as fast as its legs wold carry it, and jumped higher than it jumped before, and crashed down on the fox. This was the first anyone ever saw of Chris's new combo, and they would see it many more times in days to come.


The foxs breathing was ragged, and it appeared to be bleeding profusely, so TR paramedics were called in tot ake care of the situation. Chris stood there, and released the rest of his POkemon from their prisons.


"I've finally graduated guys, from here on out the sky's the limit.!"


He almost hit himself for being so corny, but his Pokemon crowded in to hug him, they too realized what this meant. The dream he had held onto for so long was within his grasp..


He exited the hall with his Pokemon beside him. A hydrofoil stood near the dock that had been previouslly hidden be the jagged rocks. He could've very well died that day, and still been happy that fact creeped him out somewhat. Recalling his Pokemon he picked up Sparky, and placed him on his shoulder, and proceeded to enter the boat which began sailing into the horizon. Were his future lay...


------
End
------

Well the exams are finally over, and not a minute to soon! Now I can actually have fun writting this thing.
 
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R

Raichu_Trainer_Chris

Guest
OK if your even reading this post, then you must be somewhat interested in my fic.. Anyway I regret to say that I've been grounded off the comp for a while, and won't be able to post the next chapter for some time, so it'll at least give me time to further plan out exactly what the plot is going to be.

BTW you'll be seeing more of Vega,and his sister as the story progresses.
 
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