• Hi all. We have had reports of member's signatures being edited to include malicious content. You can rest assured this wasn't done by staff and we can find no indication that the forums themselves have been compromised.

    However, remember to keep your passwords secure. If you use similar logins on multiple sites, people and even bots may be able to access your account.

    We always recommend using unique passwords and enable two-factor authentication if possible. Make sure you are secure.
  • Be sure to join the discussion on our discord at: Discord.gg/serebii
  • If you're still waiting for the e-mail, be sure to check your junk/spam e-mail folders

Just That One Petite Parable From Paldea

Umbramatic

The Ghost Lord
It is time for the clash of titans, the most massive of meetings, the scene to end all scenes. Behold the almighty might of:

Just That One Petite Parable From Paldea

Geeta approached the door to Clavell's house. Striding over, she rang the doorbell with a decisive thrust of her finger. Clavell immediately answered.

"Your directions were... rather obtuse but I have arrived," said Geeta.

"Ah, Geeta, good to see you!" saiud Clavell. "You better be ready, for our Top Champion I've made a champion lunch!"

"Borrowing terms from the Galarians I see," Geeta said in her usual airy tone.

Clavell guided Geeta to her seat, then promptly went to his kitchen. However upon opening the door he foundd a ghastly surprise - smoke coming from his oven.

"Lordy! My Klawf claws - they're all burnt!"

Looking around in a panic, he spied something out the window - a sandwich shop. Clavell grinned mischievously.

"Now there's an idea... I could simply purchase a sandwich and claim it is my own handiwork! Brilliant, Clavell!"

He began climbing through said window, his old bones creaking to get through, when suddenly he heard a voice that made him freeze.

"Clavell? What are you doing?"

He whipped around best he could in his awkward position to see Geeta looking straight at him with her big, doe-y eyes.

"Geeta! I- I was just doing an exercise trend popular with the kids! Come on and try, it's fun!"

Geeta blinked, then turned to the smoldering oven. "That's an awful lot of smoke."

"Oh that's not smoke. It's just steam! Steam from the steamed clams we'e having."

"...What, perchance, is a clam? Is it like a Clampearl?"

"...I'll explain over lunch! You head right along back to your seat."

Geeta raised an eyebrow but did so. As soon as she was gone Clavell finally managed to burst through the window and run to the sandwich shop.

----------------

Geeta sat waiting in the dining room, wondering what was taking Clavell so long with his Clamperl. It was then Clavell entered carrying a large silver tray loaded to the brim with various sorts of sandwiches.

"Geeta! Prepare yourself for my tastebud-tingling sandwiches!"

Geeta raised an eyebrow. "I was assuming these were the... Steamed clam..perl? You told me about.``

"What? Oh, I meant to say steamed sams, it's another term for sandwiches!"`

"...You refer to sandwiches by the name "steamed sams"?"

Clavell gulped. "Er, yes, it's a local saying in some places in Paldea."

Geeta steepled her fingers. "Fascinating.... Which places?"

"Er... midwest Paldea mostly."

"Really? I've been to Cascarrafa on Kofu's gym inspections and have never heard such a thing."

Clavell started sweating. "What? No, it's a Porto Marinada turn of phrase."

"Interesting..."

Geeta kept her fingers steepled for a moment before picking up a sandwich and biting into it.

"These sandwiches remind me of the ones they have at Every Wich Way..."

Clavell blanched. "OF course not. This recipe has been passed down through my family for generations."

"An ancestral recipe for steamed sams."

"Yes."

"Odd. Nothing in these sandwiches appears to be steamed."

"Well, you see, there's the thing, I - oh, give me a second."

Clavell swiftly went to his kitchen, only to open the door and see the entire thing was on fire. He paused briefly before looping right back around to his dining room, the door swinging on its hinges.

"Well that was a productive meal! I'm stuffed You best be going now Geeta."

"Perhaps I sha-"

Geeta suddenly slood up and pointed, uncharacteristic shock on her face. "What Treasures Of Ruin-brought calamity is going on in there?"

Clavell paused, then looked to his burning kitchen, then back to Geeta. "Area Zero radiation."

"Outside Area Zero, independent of the Terastilization phenomenon, exclusively Fire Tera energy, localized entirely within your kitchen?!"

"Precisely!"

"...Fascinating. May I have a look?"

"I would rather you not."

Clavell quickly escorted Geeta outside. A voice yelled out from an upper window. "Clavell! The house is burning!"

"No Tyme, it's just Tera crystals," said Clavell.

"Well, you are a very strange man, Clavell, but... You sure steamed those sams!" Geeta said with a smile.

She headed off. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU CLAVELL!" saidTyme from above.

Clavell quickly realized that while he had conquered Geeta the fire wold be the least of his worries.

***

April Fools! (Please do not concrit this one seriously lmao.)
 
Top