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Kingdom Hearts III: The New Age

pokefreak1990

the wicked witch
i've finally decided to post my story online after working out the kinks in it. i'll be updating every week unless something comes up. like i can't think of anything or i'm on trip. here's the prologue.

The Prologue
It all started with a boy and his friends Riku and Kairi. One day he and his friends decided to build a raft to get to other worlds but that night something happened. The Heartless came to Destiny Islands. And so Sora was sent to the world of Traverse Town and met Donald, Goofy, Leon, Aerith, Yuffie, Cid, and Merlin. He traveled the worlds with Donald and Goofy while trying to find his friends. But when he got back to Traverse Town he finally found Riku but there was something different about him. The trio then went to the desert city of Agrabah and found out the plot of Maleficent and her cohorts. They are kidnapping seven maidens from the worlds. But when the trio went to Neverland they found out the horrible truth. Riku was working for the villains and he had Kairi but there was something very wrong with her. They followed Riku to the ruins of Hollow Bastion. There they finally defeated Maleficent and rescued Kairi but Riku was possessed by Ansem, but Sora gave up his heart because Kairi’s was in his. After Kairi restored him Sora, Donald, and Goofy went to the End of the World to stop Ansem once and for all. When they defeated him they had to close Kingdom Hearts with Riku and the king inside. The worlds were restored but Sora, Donald, and Goofy didn’t go back home since their journey wasn’t over yet.
Later that night while sleeping on the road they had been traveling a mysterious man in black confronted Sora and led him to Castle Oblivion to find someone he cares about. But this came at a price. In order to go up the castle the trio had to lose their MEMORIES. While going up Sora kept remembering a girl. A girl named Namine. But she was being held captive by the organization that was ruling the castle. The first member they fought was Axel, number 8. Then they went and fought Larxene, number 12. When they had gone through all the worlds they had been to they encountered Vexen, number 4. He gave Sora a card from memories on the other side of his heart, the world of Twilight Town. But the plan of the organization wasn’t going well thanks to Vexen. So Marluxia, number 11, sent Axel to kill him. But after getting out of Twilight Town Sora, Donald, and Goofy had lost almost all of their memories. They had a fight with each other and went to the memory of his home, Destiny Islands. When he met Namine their he had a flash of a girl he knew but couldn’t remember her. He left the world and found Namine and asked her who that girl was. But he then had to fight Larxene again, but Donald and Goofy had come back to help him. They went to the top of the castle with Namine and fought Axel again, and fought Marluxia. He was a tough customer but the gang finally defeated him. And so Namine told Sora that to get his memories back he had to sleep and have her put the memories back. Meanwhile down in the basement Riku woke up to find himself in Castle Oblivion. He had to journey through the worlds also, with help from the king, and defeat Ansem. Along the way he fought Vexen, who made a clone of Riku to destroy him, and he fought Lexaeus, number 5, and when he finally went to Destiny Islands he encountered Zexion, number 6, and destroyed him. He left the world and met up with the king, who asked him to call him Mickey, and met DiZ. He went to Twilight Town and defeated his clone and met with Namine. She gave him a chose of either sleeping or go face Ansem one on one. He chose the former and defeated Ansem. He left the Castle after that.
It has been one year since Sora went to sleep to regain his memories. Roxas a resident of Twilight Town is having weird dreams lately. Dreams of a boy with a giant key. But weird things have been going on in Twilight Town. First some white creatures show up, things go missing, there are now seven wonders, a man named Axel seems to know him even though Roxas doesn’t, and there is a girl with white skin, blonde hair in the old mansion on the edge of town. Sora wakes up and finds that he is in Twilight Town. He, Donald, and Goofy are attacked by the white creatures at the train station. The king saves them and sends them to Yen Sid. Sora got new clothes and learned about the nobodies and the organization XIII. The group head to their first world. Hollow Bastion. They meet up with their friends their and meet Organization XIII. They travel to new and old worlds and see Pete, Maleficent and the Organization causing trouble. They go back to Hollow Bastion and get sent into the computer mainframe and meet with Tron, Sark, and the MCP. They find out info about the organization, Ansem who is really Xehanort, and DiZ who is really Ansem. But the world gets under attack and they have to defend it. They meet up with the king and meet Xemnas, the leader of the organization and the nobody of Xehanort. They travel to Twilight Town in order to find the entrance to the Organization’s stronghold. They finally get there and rescue Kairi and Riku from Xemnas. They find fight Xemnas and win and are send back to their homes.
It is now one year later and there is new evil afoot.

it might be little boring but this is a recap to show people who haven't played the game what happened.
next week Chapter 1: The New Journey,
 

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
the first chapter comes tomorrow folks. it'll take place in Destiny Islands.

;/ you still haven't read the rules have you. IE bump/spam post >.>

It's really hard to see anything in this big block of unparagraphed text. And this wasn't really a prologue. This was just a recap. Of what happened in Kingdom Hearts II. :/ instead of pulling a few twists or something, you just basically describe the game. No wait, you describe the first bit of the intro of the game. Nothing else- so what, you deny anything past what you have in the prologue happened? :/

So betting this story is a bad twisting/retelling oh KHII.
 

The Doctor

Absolute Beginner
Um, pretty much what Yami said above, but that you still have a lot of learning to do is a given. Double-posting = SPAM. Not bothering to paragraph so it burns the eyes = SPAM. And the explanation...well, that's what Wikipedia's there for, isn't it?

That's my two cents on the matter. Any explanations you come up with will probably get busted, like the last time when you had Riku die (?), even though he's a more accomplished swordsman than Sora. Nothing left to do, really.
 

pokefreak1990

the wicked witch
i rewrote it and i explained perfectly well at the end it was a recap for people who HAVEN'T PLAYED the game. and i'm haveing Riku and Kairi kidnapped instead of what you say 'killed' when they were knocked out. and for future reference i don't take kindly to flameing and bashing. and that last update was an update but i had to delay since i haven't been able to get on the computer you nimwits. so read and think before you type.
 

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
i don't take kindly to flameing and bashing. and that last update was an update but i had to delay since i haven't been able to get on the computer you nimwits.

Shhhh, you're starting to call the kettle black. Seriously. You can't take critism to get better? We pointed out good reasons and-

Recapping? I am Sorry but that was not a recapping, you left out alot of stuff. You should have had the prologue better than a skimpy preview of KHII.
 

pokefreak1990

the wicked witch
oh you'd rather have the whole game spoiled? i left stuff out because some worlds weren't important to the story like Atlantica, Halloween Town, The Land Of Dragons, and other worlds. i only addressed the important worlds storywise. and you guys wanted answers to your questions i gave you answers. and i'm not even in PG-13 mode yet. i only get there for serious flaming and bashing.
 

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
You do know we also criti'd about It Not Being Paragraphed. You just don't want to take help, and you just want to claim I or both Leon and I are flaming you. Grow. Up.

Because your summary of KH past games, is so bad, it would have, to be honest, turned me away from the games, if I didn't know they were better than how you very, very badly summarised them.
 

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
i'm not good with summeries alright. since when has that been a crime. and you have to see from my point of veiw because it LOOKS like flames. so don't blame me blame yourself for making it look like that.

So what, it's my fault you don't want to improve? I used to be horrible with prologues', then I got better. You need to Prologue more and summarise less. And it's My fault you're bad? It's My fault you take my crit as flames? MY bad that you're making exscuses to not get better?

.... wow you really are mature :/ meh I'm not replying again as that would be spam- and suggest you don't either unless you have a chapter. And hopefully not so horribly structured.
 
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