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Kitos Tragoudi: The Heart of Kyogre [ONE-SHOT]

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by CHeSHiRe-CaT, Jan 2, 2007.

  1. CHeSHiRe-CaT

    CHeSHiRe-CaT A Curious Breed

    I wrote this for the Myths and Legends one-shot contest, but mostly for myself when I saw a commercial with some orcas on the television ^_^ I never really liked Kyogre prior to this, so I think this writing experience deepened a respect I have for it now.

    I had several musical inspirations, including "The Letter That Never Came" by Thomas Newman from the Lemony Snicket soundtrack, "My Heart Will Go On (piano)" by Steve Quinzi, and "Itsu mo Nando demo" by Youmi Kimura. I worked on this for about 6+ hours, so I got incredibly attached to the character(s). I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! I'ma eat some ramen now >>;;

    EDIT: One of the last lines is from Danny Boy xPPPP

    AND Vusyiu is pronounced (voo-see-EE-oo)

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------​

    The mountains looked so peaceful, even from a distance. They seemed to tower above my territory, glancing down at the depth of my work with a sort of majestic grace…yes, they rose to the ceiling of the sky, where the peaks disappeared in the misty blankets of cotton clouds. Snow was still present at the highest elevations. I blinked my wet, topaz eyes resignedly, feeling the ripples passing over my slick body as the oceans beneath my finned wings filled the whole of the earth below.

    A serene darkness hushed spring activity, but even the moon had no power over me. I halted the tides with my gentle will, and the water obeyed diligently. I never stopped the natural flow of the seas before, but…the time was imminent. I had a feeling that the others could sense it coming… I had known since the end of winter, but I never told Vusyiu. I didn’t…I don’t think I could ever tell him… But I had to find him. Maybe if the waters were calm, he’d think that something was happening, and he would come to me.

    Twisting my forked tails, I rose up to the surface, blasting an exhaled breath through the spout on my back. I was met by a rush of cold air from the southern winds…but they too, were quiet. Actually, the breeze comforted me…I felt as though it was consoling me, trying to cheer me up. I lifted my head to the tender, overcast skies, and nodded. A smile broke out upon my rimmed mouth…a weak, but soft smile.

    Thank you.

    After brushing against my blue fins, the winds picked up speed and began to flow back to the direction from which they came. I imagined that I watched the air spinning and flying elegantly back to shore, to sway the trees, and allow voices to be carried on its drift, to tell others how wonderful their lives were. It was a wonderful world…I imagined him there, by my side, leaping from the waters and taking flight, soaring through gravity’s grip and defying the boundaries set by the Earth. I had dreamed of it when I was young…those days were missing from my fading memory. But I didn’t care. At least I still remembered something.

    I was getting used to the temperature…I felt a dull, supple heat growing within me. It was only the beginning, and I realized this as I spread my fins, swimming slowly and lonely across the ocean. I knew that my end would bring new opportunities…a fresh start. I wondered what the others had planned… I smiled again. They probably didn’t plan on passing this life.

    I grew a little upset. A small tremble coursed down my spine, and I shivered. I wasn’t cold…but the tremble…it felt nice. Like a pat on the back. I moved my large head in the water, searching for the source as I felt another small quiver. Tingling comprehension overcame me as I chuckled once again, feeling another presence. The small quakes sent feelings I hadn’t recognized for some time rattling along my bones. They told me of something sorrowful…a sort of loss, and a longing for something. But I just nodded again.

    Please…don’t worry about me. It’s him.

    One last kinetic shake from beneath the deepest of underwater canyons sent a resentful, but validating tone. I closed my eyes, and from the bottom of my heart, asked for their forgiveness. Feuding was something we had done when we were strong, and powerful. We were still strong and powerful, but a bit weathered. We knew that what we had done a long time ago was chaotic and unreasonable…still, it shaped the Earth. It gave a home to Mew’s children, and we were content and prideful that we had done something magnificent by accident. It was a funny thought, and still, I could not find myself frowning, even at these times.

    And still, the fighting was wrong. Rivalry had dissipated…they could see that now. I wish we all could have seen it before this would have to happen, but nothing can change the past. What’s done is done, and what is to come is…left for a future generation.

    I sighed, breathing in the crisp air through my blowhole. I was just a little disappointed, but not incredibly… Well, I had no reason to be. I told Vusyiu he could go play near Sootopolis, but to be careful around the rocks there.

    Sootopolis…hmm…

    I turned my floating body slightly north. I saw the barricaded coral walls of the human city there, piercing the surface of the water and reaching out like a jawed, white crown. I remember that it was the first place I had ever seen. I remember the Cave of Origin, and my birth. I had earned my consciousness, and saw the marvelous stone womb that protected me. Vusyiu was raised there until he had become much bigger, and my, how he had grown! I suppose that’s what happens when you feed your children Gorebyss meat for a few months straight.

    Still nowhere in sight. Then a thought struck me that he might be underwater, searching for nocturnal friends to play with. Thinking how silly I was, I sucked in a deep breath through my spout, and pounced underneath the veil of shimmering bliss that was my domain. The smooth, cool texture of the sea slid past every part of me, gliding over and under my great span of fins, slithering through the flanks of my tail—but then again, I’d like to think that I was gliding. After all, this might have been the last time I would ever glide.

    With the pressure that was building in my head, I released a series of high-pitched notes that echoed through the density of the water, clicking with my throat. It was a song…a song that I learned when I was born. I thought I was always alone, but something came to me…it told me its name was Kitos Tragoudi. It lived inside of me, in my soul, waiting to be heard. I knew that the song had something to do with the archaic red marks embellished upon my polished skin. I remember that the first time I sang, my marks glowed.

    Now was no different, as my winged arms began to feel cozy and warm. Peering over to the marks with one eye, I saw the luminescent symbols lit up with the same red as I had seen before. The color was not sinister, nor was it angry. It was merely warm, and made my heart feel lighter as I continued to pitch the melody throughout the murky nadir.

    Goldeen, Mantine, and Remoraid charged by as they saw my massive body passing along their habitats, fleeing at my presence. They did not fear me, but they did not stand in my way, either. They recognized the song. They knew that I was calling my baby.

    Soon, I stopped swimming hurriedly through the water and floated for a moment, suspended as I ceased my cries. I felt tired…but then, I heard movement. It was not a quake, but another, slightly smaller creature.

    My chest lifted as I saw a pair of symbols light up in the distance. A shorter cry responded, and I felt joy course through my veins. With my last bit of strength, I dove upward, leaping to the outside world.

    In short matter of time, we both broke the surface at once, propelling our bodies gracefully through the quiet space. I believe we flew the highest we had ever flown, bending backward and somersaulting with poise in midair, then falling back down to where we belonged, crashing and sending waves to surge across the ocean, ripples colliding and creating tiny whirlpools all around us.

    We both laughed heartily. I eyed my calf, his features very prominent and youthful in the oblique moonlight…just like mine used to be.

    Mom, he said, getting ready to ramble on and on about something, which made me laugh again, Me and the Huntail were playing tag, and Shellder wanted to play, too. I let him ride on my back because they weren’t being so nice to him. Well anyway, while we were playing tag, I was “it,” and everyone kept swimming and hiding from me and Shellder. So I chased one of the Huntail into the coral reef that was encrusted with all kinds of stuff, and when we passed by it, it scraped Shellder reeeaaal bad, Mom.

    Oh? I expressed kindly. What happened to Shellder?

    Mom, you wouldn’t BELIEVE it! Vusyiu cried, bouncing on the water ecstatically, I thought Shellder got hurt really bad, but when I felt this HUGE weight pushing me down, I looked up and saw him! He transformed into a giant Clamperl thing, Mom! It was hella crazy!

    I believe that’s a Cloyster he evolved into, I said soothingly, watching him stare in awe at my (ha-ha) vast knowledge. Evolution is a wondrous and mysterious thing, Vusy. Many Pokémon change into greater, stronger creatures to overcome great obstacles, or to defend themselves properly. It’s the way of adaptation.

    Do we evolve, Mom?

    No, honey, we don’t, I answered honestly, and he sighed slightly in negativity. Listen, I have something important to tell you.

    Really? the young calf asked. I’m all ears.

    Not to make you feel guilty, dear, but…I’ve been looking for you for a bit. In the meantime, some friends and I…“talked.”

    About what, Mom?

    Calmly, I swam over to my son’s side, drifting alongside of him, showing a giant comparison in size. I flapped one of my fins over him, taking in a deep breath. His head loomed up at me, and I returned his gaze with my own, both identical, but both so very different.

    I didn’t want to tell you, Vusyiu, I really didn’t, I said, breaking eye contact and lowering my face toward my doppelganger reflected upon the mirror of the ocean. Your mother has been…tired lately.

    Mom…?

    His shaky tone almost broke my heart.

    Honey, I’m…

    I couldn’t finish. I looked at him…a sudden worry shining in his eyes. He didn’t want me to finish.

    Vusy, my family has lived in the sea for centuries. But you…you are my real family. You may not have realized it, but I am the one who keeps our part of the world in balance… I’m the Titan of the Sea, though that title is a bit too grand even for me.

    I chuckled, and he smiled thoughtfully. But I wasn’t done. I turned to him.

    You…you are a part of me, just like the ocean is a part of this world, I said, rubbing his dorsal fins with my wing. You have the same power as I do…you’ve just yet to realize how to control it.

    I couldn’t hide my feelings… He bowed his head, and I saw the salty trickling of tears streaming down from his eyes.

    Here now, I said, Please…please don’t cry. Darling, please—

    But I couldn’t stop him. He did not sob, or moan, but merely released a high-pitched whine, sniffing as the tears continued to flow.

    Vusyiu.

    At the sound of his name, he stopped immediately. He gazed into my eyes, with his own glazed with diamonds.

    Your mother is…very sick, I replied. Reality hit…I felt…a painful throbbing in my side.

    Wha…what d-d-d’you mean you’re s-sick? Vusy replied. I swallowed as I felt another sharp strike to my ribs.

    Honey…I’m dying…

    What? Mom, no…no…you’re not dying. You’re Kyogre! You…you can’t. You…you can’t die. No, you’re not dying.

    Please, listen to me, I muttered. Don’t dilute yourself; it will only make things worse.

    NO…NO! Y-you can’t DIE! I…NO! I can’t…live…without you—MOM! Mom!

    My head felt woozy…I…I sagged over, pushing a little bit of my weight onto him. Another sharp pain sent me jumping up, stopping myself from crushing my child. At this point, he broke into a fit of wails, shrieking and clicking wildly. It hurt me to see him like that…I couldn’t stop him. He cried and screamed, unable to accept the information…but…my concentration was slipping. I could hear my pulse, and my blood rushing through my body…

    You ca-a-a-an’t…go-o-o-o…no, you can’t…no…m…m-m-Mom? MOM.

    I…sunk to my…right side, slowly tilting into the water. Vusyiu…he…swam to me, and lifted me quickly back up before I sunk any further. My breathing was becoming shallower…

    Mom, he said, voice thick and trembling. Please…please don’t leave me here. Don’t leave me alone here. Please…please. Don’t kid around.

    It’s…no joke, Vusy, I said, confirming the worst as…a sweet smile crossed upon me. But…I won’t hurt anymore. I’ve been hurting since the beginning of the season…I didn’t think it was serious…but I thought about this. I thought about you…and you love me.

    With all of my heart…Mom.

    Listen to me, said I, leaning closer to him as my tail started to numb. I’m not leaving you alone. You…you have your friends.

    But they’re not YOU, Mom, he said, sobbing. No one…can replace you.

    You’re right, I replied, my own voice becoming hoarse. No one can replace me…but there are many who can help you, son.

    Vusyiu lowered his head again, but I pressed on him, capturing his attention once more.

    Don’t turn away. You are strong, I told him, stroking his back with every breath I took. You remember when we were talking about evolution?

    He nodded.

    We don’t evolve like many Pokémon do, I said, But we can grow stronger, just like them. Vusy, you have been evolving, mentally and physically in your own skin since you were born. We don’t battle, or fight…we don’t pit each other against one another for competition. Out here, we are peaceful, and content. The life we have is rid of complication, darkness, and sadness. We are sentries over all of this.

    I stared deep down into his core.

    You are a guardian, I told him. You are a leader…but you’re not in this alone. No one can replace me, but…you have…Them.

    To this, I lifted my head, and he followed the direction of my gaze…toward those snow-capped mountains, white with splendor…and the silvery clouds covering the sky. I received an acknowledgement from both, and nodded contently as I always have, floating downward to hug the water. Vusyiu came to my side, eyes watering and teary.

    Mom, you’re…you’re not going now, are you? he asked me.

    No…not yet… I have one thing left to say.

    I heard his throat swallow down the pain. He’s just like me…I knew…

    I’m all ears.

    Vusyiu, I called to him, crackling on his name. There are two other guardians watching over you. They…will see…that you help keep the world in balance. They were my friends once, and now they will…be yours. Listen to them, and…you can’t go wrong. I…have to go…

    Please, Mom! Please, wait—!

    Vusy…my…little Vusy…

    I could feel my weight seeping into the ocean…

    You…you are going to be the strongest Kyogre there ever was. You’re…not going to die. You will make the world a better place…you will. I promise…

    His voice tried to reach me, and his face was becoming rippled as I fell below the surface.

    Sing…sing Kitos Tragoudi…for me…please…

    I felt my last breath depart my lungs. I opened my mouth, and the water that I protected and guarded…flooded down my throat, pouring into my lungs, replacing the air that kept me alive. It would soon be over. It didn’t hurt…but the black was overcoming me…

    Until I saw the red.

    The glowing warmth touched me through the darkness…a woeful key had wound its way around the original melody, but it was strong and potent nonetheless, billowing from the tentacles of death like a beacon through a storm. It was beautiful…it was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. I could see my Vusyiu’s face before me, loving me for eternity. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Nothing was more beautiful than the love…he wouldn’t be alone. He’d carry on.

    I’ll…be waiting…until…you come to me…

    The sound became muffled…I drifted into the murky depths…losing all I left behind…losing myself to oblivion, and following in the steps of my destiny. I vanished from existence. It was over.

    I vanished from existence…

    ~*~​

    Above, the tide abruptly resumed its course, jolting the sea with life once more. With the rapid push of the waves, Vusyiu weeped and mourned, tears spilling into the ocean and falling below the to grave of his mother.

    I love you, Mom. I love you…with all of my heart, he called, his voice toughened. I know you can hear me…and…I love you. I’ll…take care of the sea. One way or another…

    Just when the young Kyogre thought he was alone in the world, he was suddenly graced with a presence…a wind. That night, a long, serpentine silhouette drifted from behind the moon. When it did, the clouds evaporated, revealing the starry night sky twinkling down on Vusyiu. The moon wavered as a reflection upon the spot where his mother had fallen beneath the waves. The young Kyogre glanced to the sky just in time to see the serpent dart across the heavens like a lightning bolt southwards, slinking into the shrouded mist to the top of a tall tower. And somewhere beyond space and time…the entire Earth seemed to freeze in movement. For the moment, all was still; even the plates beneath the crust and above the mantle held their positions under the weight of another great titan.

    The homage made Vusyiu smile once more…before a light Drizzle began, and true rain fell from the atmosphere through the clear sky, dappling and dripping into every pore in the ocean, feeding it and completing it.

    Somewhere far below, water Pokémon gathered around a collapsed creature, once divine and fruitful with life and energy, but now as cold as the polar waters. Together, they collected their most treasured valuables and pearls, encrusting the body of the whale in riches. However, no amount of worldly material could express the grief that had struck the ocean life. For when she had died, they had all lost a mother, who had given them a home and shelter…a place to feed, a place to play, a place to love. But as they lamented the great guardian, they felt a dappling and dripping from the surface.

    The tears of their new father.
     
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2007
  2. Kiyohime

    Kiyohime Well-Known Member

    It's very haunting, and beautiful. May I ask what the meaning is behind the title, and Kyogre's son's name? Kyogre has always been my favorite out of the trio, and you've portrayed her wonderfully. I loved the image of her sinking towards the ocean bottom as all its inhabitants gathered to cover her with their gifts.

    *applauds*
     
  3. CHeSHiRe-CaT

    CHeSHiRe-CaT A Curious Breed

    It wasn't too cheesy? Thank God. D:

    Vusyiu is actually a word I invented, when I wrote down the name of my town with the word "autumn," looked at it upside-down, and then wrote it how I saw it. However, Kitos Tragoudi means "Whale Song" in Greek. I really wrote this for myself, as you can see, but I wanted to share 'cause I'm like that xP I really adore Kyogre now, and aside from that, spending so much time on these characters, I sort welled up. Talk about vain, huh? xP
     
  4. Bay

    Bay YEAHHHHHHH

    Hehe, this is some beautiful work Ches. I really love the mother and son relationship. So sweet. ^^ And yes, I love the ending where the water Pokemon went to go give the fish the gifs. ^^

    However, there are a couple of parts where I think you could have elaborated a bit more.

    In that part you could have probably put the little Kyogre's facial expressions or have the mother narrated it a bit more. I don't know, I just felt this part on Vusyiu's emotions could have done better.

    Like the first quote, I think Vusy's emotions could have done better. Probably have the narrator put like the tone of her son's voice.

    Again, I quite enjoyed this work though there were a couple of places where it could have more emotional description. Well, good luck on the contest!
     
  5. LuciRuki

    LuciRuki Born This Way

    This is amazing, and I wouldn't change it at all. It it very sweet, showing the love between the mother and son.



    Anyways I do hope you win.
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2007
  6. Sike Saner

    Sike Saner Peace to the Mountain



    …Holy God.

    Any story during which I have to step out for a moment to cry is one that wins me over in the strongest sense. I love tragic pieces, and this is an outsanding example of one. God, it’s just gorgeous, everything about it. *_*

    And you’d better believe I like a name like Vusyiu, which also has possibly the coolest and most original name origin I’ve ever heard of. o.o

    Highlights:

    Awesome, powerful image. Orcas are just cool as hell; they really are. Especially when they do that. <3

    …Wow… ;-; That would be the moment that really struck me. One of the saddest moments I’ve read in a long time, and equally lovely.


    You’ve done a beautiful, wonderful thing here. I absolutely adored it. *bows to you*
     
  7. ~*Myuu the Ryuu*~

    ~*Myuu the Ryuu*~ The epitome of grace

    Considering that Kyogre's my favorite legendary I'd have to say this is pretty darn sad. It made me feel sympathetic towards her child, but then I saw hope for him, instead of having to live by his own. It's definetley the best one shot that deals with death and hope, and I salute you for this.
     
  8. azurill

    azurill Well-Known Member

    Great work,I reallyy enjoyed it.
    Um Kitos Tragoudi doesn't mean whale song, in fact I've never heard of the work Kitos.(Greek is my native language)
     
  9. CHeSHiRe-CaT

    CHeSHiRe-CaT A Curious Breed

    Guess my friend doesn't speak Greek :p Thanks, I appreciate that. It's still a slightly neat title anyway, though it's a corny mistranslation. xP So let's pretend it's made from a language that doesn't exist.
     
  10. BugLoverCody

    BugLoverCody Drowns in Cultness

    Kitos is a Greek word. It means big mammal fish... Kitos is actually used to describe whales so. It definetely is a Greek word. I am a native speaker.

    The right title would be: To Tragoudi tou Kitous though, in proper Greek, it means "the whale song".
    I really enjoyed what I read, Ihave not read it all yet. I have a concentration problem ATM :D

    I hope I was of help
    Cody
     
  11. Praxiteles

    Praxiteles Friendly POKéMON.

    It's... beautiful. Marvellous. Flawless. That's all I can say. Corny? Never. It's the most perfect translation of purity and unrestrained feeling I have ever see, and I can give you no greater compliment. Your unmatched intertwinement of reality and metaphor, simplicity and eloquence, joy and sorrow, has left me speechless.

    *gives a standing ovation*
     
  12. shadowlight

    shadowlight Fraught With Peril

    That is probably the best one-shot that I have ever read
    It was great
    It was described in a way that I could almost see it happening
    I liked the story. It was sad but really well written
     
  13. tipnottippy

    tipnottippy Back for the lulz

    I've always loved Kyogre because of the orca basis (orcas are my favorite animals), and I think you really captured the close mother-calf bond that exists among real orcas while also giving it that extra dimension of Pokemon sentiency. I'll be honest and say that I was getting outright misty-eyed at some parts such as the death of the mother Kyogre and her son's resolution to continue in her place.

    If I absolutely had to complain about something, it would be the following two lines:

    NO…NO! Y-you can’t DIE! I…NO! I can’t…live…without you—MOM! Mom!

    You ca-a-a-an’t…go-o-o-o…no, you can’t…no…m…m-m-Mom? MOM.

    I understand you were trying to portray the grief and confusion of the young Kyogre and the way he's crying out, but it seemed like you were trying just a little too hard in those lines with the drawn-out vowels. And "I can't live without you" has always struck me as one of those lines so overused by authors far below your caliber that it loses merit even when used by highly skilled authors.

    Aside from that, the fic struck me as incredibly beautiful and well-described--I would even say lyrical. Amazing work. Also, bonus points for mentioning the Cave of Origin and its importance to Kyogre and Groudon. I also have to thank you for giving me some ideas regarding one of my own fics-in-planning, which will involve the Cave of Origin and its associated legendaries (since my favorite character happens to be the Cave's Guardian).
     
  14. CHeSHiRe-CaT

    CHeSHiRe-CaT A Curious Breed

    Thank you, Pyroken. I listened to several songs for inspiration, such as "The Letter That Never Came" from Lemony Snicket to set the mood for the beginning, and a piano arrangement of "My Heart Will Go On" for Kyogre's death.

    Thank you for your honest and well-written review. I appreciate what you said, and I am...very touched that I could actually make someone's eyes well up. I absolutely adore orcas (I'm actually visiting Orcas Island in the San Juans this spring, and I could send you some pictures via PM from our whale-watching adventures :D), and I studied them as much as possible before I wrote this. I'd hate to dishonor such a marvelous creature.

    I partly agree with you on your opinion, but the side I was taking was realism. I stepped into Vusyiu's mind; he was young at the time, and if someone was dying before you, do you think that you would have time to come up with some excuse less desperate than that? Cliche, but it does make sense. I would never want to exaggerate my writing in the slightest, unless it was on purpose.

    As for the vowels, again, I'm inclined to be standing with each foot on either side of the line. XD The technique is supposedly a way of simulating sobbing, but I guess some people don't see that. xP
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2007
  15. Absol!

    Absol! Sea Ruby Trainer

    Ohhh. That was so, so beautiful and tragic and haunting and lovely. I never used to like Kyogre, but you have made me see it in a new light! < 3
     
  16. tipnottippy

    tipnottippy Back for the lulz

    Ohemgee, you saw orcas while whale watching? And you have *photos*? I am definitely taking you up on your PM offer.

    I figured as much. After I read it a couple of times and failed to come up with a better line myself, I realized it was the probably the best you could do for that scene and pegged my dislike of the line down to the fact that too many subpar writers have permanently biased me against it.

    Yeah, I still do that myself, except I limit it to repetition of consonants to indicated stuttering/stammering. I used to do it with vowels too, but someone pointed out that it seemed really tacky (like writing out "hahahahahahahaaa"), and I've been shy of the technique ever since. XD
     

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