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Lamest and Most Useless Superheroes Ever

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Discussion' started by Captain Jigglypuff, Aug 3, 2019.

  1. Captain Jigglypuff

    Captain Jigglypuff Leader of Jigglypuff Army Staff Member

    There are plenty of superheroes out there with some being the best and possibly the greatest fictional characters ever created and then there are the ones that are so bad that whenever anyone mentions their names, you say, “Who?” So which superhero do you think are the lamest or most useless of then all if the world needed to be saved? Here is my list.

    Bibleman- I’ll give the creators credit for wanting to create a superhero that teaches kids good morals as a good idea but Bibleman isn’t the best superhero. He literally has no actual superpowers other than quoting the Bible and his villains and their “evil” schemes are so lame that an a morbidly obese mall cop on a Segway could take them out. You have Madam Glitz who’s only crime was wanting to be famous, a Joker rip off that just tells people to lie, an offensive stereotypical Jewish lady that just spread gossip probably no more offense than what you see in the tabloids at check out counters, and a guy that tried to turn kids into atheists. How exactly are these “villains” being evil since no actual crimes are being committed here? There’s no danger at all and even Plastic Man wouldn’t bother stopping these bad guys. Forget the nuclear missile that North Korea launched that will destroy New York City and kill millions of innocent people. The real threat is some senior citizen that is making kids to become lazy with a laser. And to think that Willie Aames had two hit TV shows before this mess....

    Arm Fall Off Boy- The Name gives the superpower here. How exactly is ripping off your own arm to use as a weapon a useful and non-traumatizing power for those who see it happen?

    Gin Genie- Probably wouldn’t be so useless if the source of her powers didn’t require her to constantly be drunk.

    Doorman- All he can do is turn into a door and levitate. Nothing else.
     
    NovaBrunswick likes this.
  2. WishIhadaManafi5

    WishIhadaManafi5 Still miss you, Lorne. Staff Member

    This reminds me of Whose Line and their superheroes game!

     
    NovaBrunswick likes this.
  3. NovaBrunswick

    NovaBrunswick Canada Connoisseur

    Marvel or DC (one of the two, can't remember which one) had an actual superhero called Asbestos Lady. Her 'superpower' was that she could start fires and not get burned by them, because of asbestos' fireproof properties. However, just as asbestos in real life was eventually found to be causing cancer and was subsequently banned, Asbestos Lady's superpower eventually caused her to develop cancer.

    There was an (unlicensed?) Nintendo game back in the (S)NES days called Captain Bible. Sort of like Captain America, I guess, but instead of a shield, he carries - you guessed it - a Bible. He also goes around 'defeating' villains by quoting them Bible verses. I saw it on YouTube (I think it was Brutalmoose or someone like that?)
     
    wolf jani likes this.

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