It's not harshness, Steelwing, it's genuine concern. Unless you respond like the respectable human being I hope you are, no one will show respect either. To be given respect, one must respect others in turn. And have a good command of the English language with grammar, capitalization and punctuation. We all await your next chapter with bated breath, and we sincerely hope your budding career as a writer is not cut short due to your childish stubborness. It would be such a shame to see such a promising young talent wasted due to his extemporaneous judgementalism. Accept positive criticism for what it is, and the critics will accept you.
Lee kept on running none stop along the path. He eventually felt like he was out in the open enough to stop and look back. There was nothing there just a few people walking past along with some cars passing by on the road. Lee was still confused as to what went on in that tunnel. He didn’t know what to do with himself at the moment; his brain was too baffled to think about what he should do. He eventually reached home in half the time it would of if he was running normally. He had no idea that he could run so fast. He stopped running as he reached the brown gate at the front of his house. He walked up the stone path with bright green grass on either side of it. He reached his front door and immediately put his key in the lock. Finally he was safe at home.
The following morning he woke up shattered, and as usual had to thump the top of his alarm clock to shut it up. He slumped down stairs where he found his mum pouring his cereal out.
“Hi Hun, just thought I’d make breakfast this morning” said lee’s mum
“Oh…ok” lee replied
“There you go” lee’s mum said as she put lee’s cereal on the table in front of him.
“Thanks mum” lee mumbled
Lee couldn’t stop thinking about yesterday; he thought it was a dream when he woke up. Lee soon got ready for school and slowly walked out of the door. As he closed the door behind him he noticed Michael at the end of the path.
“Hi” said Michael, what’s up?”
“Erm nothing” lee said pleased to see that Michael was ok.
“Oh yeh, how come you weren’t at the cabins yesterday?”
“Oh I… lee paused for thought wondering whether or not to tell Michael about what happened under the tunnel yesterday, “I couldn’t”.
“Why?” Michael asked
“I had a doctor’s appointment”
“Oh ok” Michael said although you could tell he was disappointed.
They soon reached school and made their way to form.
“Well see you later” Michael shouted as they parted to go to their lessons.
“C ya” lee shouted back.
Lee was in his lesson and was still thinking about yesterday, he was so curious as to how that ‘master Yin’ knew his dad, one thing was for sure lee wasn’t going to forget about this.
The school day went by slowly and lee was glad to get out when it ended, he wanted to get home to try and think about the offer master Yin gave him yesterday. He wondered if they were actual ninjas and if they were serious about him joining. He remembered how those ninjas cam down from the tunnel roof out of no where. That was surely proof that they were for real.
As lee was walking home he happened to pass the green cabins and the tunnel. He looked at the arch-like roof; he could just about see inside it. He tried not to stare too long as he was afraid that they’d come out and get him, or even worse his body might be tempted to go inside!
Lee dropped his school bag and fell on his comfy water bed, lee loved to lie down on this bed even if he wasn’t tired, he just found it relaxing.
It was getting late and for some reason Lee wasn’t getting tired. He tossed and turned in his bed but no matter what he just couldn’t get to sleep. He decided to go down stairs for a little snack but then he felt something inside him, something that wanted him to go up into the attic. He decided to go with his feelings, he thought that it might tire him out a bit even if he was just going up to the attic.
Lee hadn’t been in the attic much; in fact he couldn’t remember the last time he was in there. Anyway lee grabbed a torch and then pulled a rope making some dusty old stairs shoot out from the trap door. He walked up the stairs and each one creaked as he stepped on it. Lee popped his head up so he could just see in; he then turned on his torch and slowly started to make his way into the actual attic. He got in and started to look around flashing his torch around to make things clearer. As he turned around he saw a rusty old box lying there in the open like it wanted to be found. Lee approached the box slowly and cautiously, with all that was going on in these past few days he didn’t know what to expect. He opened the box and there was a black leather case covered with dust, he then opened the case hesitantly and it revealed what looked to be a samurai sword!
“Wow!” said lee, “I wonder who it belongs too?”
The sword was silver with strange markings on it the handle it was perfectly shaped and the blade looked sharp.
Lee then paused for though and then…
“No…it couldn’t be, could it?”
“If my dad really was a ninja then that means that master Yin really did know my dad and that they actually want me to become a
“What are you doing up here?” said a voice from behind Lee
“Hey! He he, I was just erm I was erm”
It was Lee’s mum.
“What have you got there?” she said curiously
“Uhh…nothing, nothing” lee replied
Lee’s mum sighed, “Well just hurry up and get to bed its 2 in the morning”
“Ok mum” Lee replied, “Few, that was a close one!”
Lee put the sword back in its case and then took it into his room. He hid it under his bed and then went to sleep with a lot more on his mind…