ok i think ive improved and hope that this will be alot better!
i will now except critizm and a sorry for the trouble. well here it is:
“Wh….who is it?”
“That isn’t important right now, what is important is that you’re here”
“Why…why is that important?” lee said trying to make out as if he wasn’t afraid.
“It’s important because I’ve wanted to talk to you, I’ve wanted to talk to you for a very long time now…”
“Look I don’t want any trouble I just wanna find my friends and go, ok? I wanna go home watch TV and never see you again, ok!”
“There’s no point in running lee you can’t change the past…”
“Ok, now you’re really started to freak me out” lee said keeping a close eye on the dark figure.
“Let me finish lee, I have to tell you something, something about your father”
“M...m…my father” lee said confused, “how do you know my father?”
“Oh yes, I knew your father, I knew him very well. Infant we were best friends once, just like you and Michael”
Lee then remembered about Michael
“Michael! What have you done with him!
“Calm down lee he’s fine”
“Ok your really creepy, just tell me how you knew my father and then leave me alone!” lee said with a little bit more confidence.
“Ill tell you how I knew your father if you just trust me and listen”
“why should I trust you, I don’t know you, your scary and you’ve been following me all the way down here! How can I trust you?”
“Go with your feelings”
“Go with my feelings! What are you some sort of guru!”
“Close”
“Huh?” lee said again confused. None of this made any sense what so ever.
“Well lee there’s something you need to know, something very important, something about your father”
“Just to clear a few things up how did you know my father?”
“I don’t exactly know how to say this but, well, he was a ninja”
“Err ok, your sain”
“No, I know it sounds weird, but it’s true, in fact he was one of our best”
“Our best? Who’s our?”
“Well your dad worked for a secret organisation, you see he worked for the ninjas”
“No, no, no, no! My dad worked for a car company not some sort of freaky ninja club!”
“Were not freaky, our organisation is called the SNS, the secret ninja service”
“Ok”
“You see the thing I need to tell you is that, we want you to join our organisation”
“There you go again with your we thing”
“This is we”
The dark figure then clapped his hand and about 10 dark figures dropped from the roof of the tunnel, as they came out of no where.
“This is just a small amount of the ninjas in the SNS”
“Ok I’ve got a question, 1 why do you want me to join and 2 who are you?”
“my name is master yin, and I want you to join because you will have the same ninja power as your father had. We are hoping that
you will become a great advantage for our corporation”
“Why, why would you want a kid in your corporation?”
“Because there is a problem which we need you to solve, you are the only person we know who might just have the ability to save the
world, and they would never expect a child to be a ninja”
“hmm…erm” lee started to move closer, “err yeh I” lee made a run for it, up the tunnel, he didn’t dare look back as he just wanted to
get outside near people.
In the cave one of the ninjas said “should we retrieve him master?”
“No, he will return when he is ready…”
well thats all for now i hope you liked it a bit more
i should of come up with a better story line but im sure i can make it intersting because this is where the story should start to get better.