Legends of the Past

[chosen_one386]

Okay, this is the sequel to The Beginning of the War. If you HAVE NOT read The Beginning of the War, DO NOT bother reading this until you have. That's all I need to explain, except there are a few characters in here taken from the 8th movie. Other then that, enjoy the next fic of the Great War! ^_^!

Prologue

The sun set on an emerald green valley, its red rays spreading ominously across the vast land. Two armies of Pokemon faced each other, angry and bloodthirsty. Neither attacked. They wouldn't until dawn the next day. They came early to intimidate each other.

A blue and black dog-like Pokemon watched them from a cliff at the valley's edge. He stood on his back legs and had a sort of legendary aura about him. Legendary aura or not, he still didn't like the murdurous looks on the Pokemon armies' faces. He decided to contact his friend and companion and tell him of the battle that was about to be waged.

Far off in the palace of Aquapolis (where Ever Grande is today), a tall young man with black hair looked out over the waters of Hoenn. He was tired of staring at the waters of Kanto, so here he was when his friend contacted him. A voice rang out in his head.

"Aaron, there's trouble in the valley! Two armies of Pokemon are prepared to attack at dawn!" it said.

Aaron sighed. The Great War was getting worse. The war between Groudon and Kyogre had turned the world upside down. Aaron couldn't even remember a peaceful time in his life; the War had started decades ago.

"Ok Rukario, I'll be right there!" he said and closed his eyes, focusing his energy on the valley near the palace. When he opened them, he was standing by Rukario on the ledge overlooking the two great armies.

"So, this war isn't between just the land and the sea is it?" Aaron asked Rukario. He nodded, waryly watching the Pokemon down below. Suddenly, something caught Rukario's eye as he scaned the ledges beside them.

That something was on the ledge nearest them and that something was the most beautiful girl that Aaron had seen (once Rukario had gotten him to look). She had golden blond hair that streamed out through the night wind. She wore a simple, flowing white dress and a cross shape pendent.

Aaron gasped and wondered who this young woman was. He blinked, and she was gone...

“It’s dawn!” Rukario exclaimed as the sun started to rise over the valley. With a roar, the two armies crashed together violently. Trying to forget the girl, he said to Rukario, “Come on! We have to get to the middle of the fight!”

Aaron and Rukario pushed through the fighting Pokemon to the center, protected by a shield from Rukario. When they got to the middle of the fray, which took a while considering the mass amount of warring Pokemon, Aaron held up a staff with a glowing bluish-white orb at the top.

“There’s too many of them! You don’t have enough power of stop them!” Rukario cried out in dismay.

Suddenly, the girl they had seen before appeared in a flash of light. She reached out and took the staff Aaron was holding with one hand, a determined look in her eyes.

“What are you doing? A normal Aquapolian can’t control the Orb, it will destroy you!” Aaron yelled.

“Trust me,” She said. The Orb began to glow and a blinding light flashed in front of Aaron’s eyes, spreading across the valley. When he looked up again, both armies were gone.

He turned to the girl, amazed. “Who are you?” He asked.

She smiled, “I’m Kristal.”

“I’m Aaron,” Aaron replied.

The girl smiled and started to walk away, humming. Suddenly, she began to sing. Aaron gasped. She sounded like an angel. As the words of the song floated over him, he stood amazed. He had never heard a song like this before.



We’re walking through the air,
Floating in the fire,
Floating in the air…

We’re walking in the air,
We’re floating in the midnight sky,
The people down below are sleeping as we flow.
We’re holding very tight,
And riding in the midnight blue,
I’m finding I can fly so high above with you.

All across the world,
The villages go by like dreams,
The rivers and the hills, the forests and the streams.

Children gaze, welcome now,
Taken by surprise,
Nobody down below believes their eyes,
We’re surfing through the air,
We’re swimming through the frozen sky,
We’re drifting over ice and mountains floating by.

Suddenly, swooping low, over an ocean deep,
Rising up three mighty monsters from their sleep.

We’re walking in the air,
We’re dancing in the midnight sky,
And everyone who sees us greets us as we fly…



“Marina, are you looking at that memory again?”

Marina turned to see her brother standing nearby, her blond hair swaying as she whirled around. Her black eyes contrasted sharply with her hair as she glared at her brother, turning off the screen she was watching.

“You know Kirio, it may just help us with our mission,” she replied.

Kirio ran his hands through his jet-black hair. His black eyes didn’t contrast as much as Marina’s did. Instead, they were darker and he wore glasses.

Marina sighed, “Kirio, you know you can take those off. It’s not like the Chosen One has seen you before.”

“But she has… though she doesn’t know it… Anyway, how is that memory going to help us?”

“It will help in many ways Kirio…” Kirio turned around to see a man with light blond hair, a black cloak wrapped around him, accenting his eyes, which were pure black.

“Master Greevil!” Marina stood up.

“Now, listen. The full moon is coming up and the half-year anniversary of the Great War is at hand. If you succeed, my powers over the powers of land, sea, and sky will grow,” Greevil said.

Kirio nodded, turning to Marina. “Let’s go get ready.”

After they left, Greevil smirked as he watched the screen that Marina had been watching. He had placed all of the Chosen One’s lost memories there to keep up with them.

“She doesn’t know it yet, but this song us a key to unlocking her power…” Greevil turned to the storm raging outside and listened to the song wafting through the air. He smirked as he watched Shadow Lugia fly by the window, circling around Kyogre and Groudon outside. His plan was working perfectly.





Bet no one can name the song I put in here! Yes, it is a real song! Guess!

 

[Leon Phelps]

You call your last fic a sucess but you hardly got any real reviews...

I hate to sound rude but "Earth to chosen_one386! This isn't a chapter!" I noticed this in your other fic how you spit out millions of these to make it appear as if you actually have a lot of real chapters. I've read Dr.Suess books with longer chapters than this.

This was your chapter:
Lucario looks at pokemon.
Lucario and Aaron talk.
Lucario says, "ZOMG!"
Aaron gasp.

You ruin your potential and momentum when you don't make the chapters of decent length. There isn't much to review really. At least it isn't full of grammatical errors.

edit: You've been here long enough to know double posting is wrong.

 

[Nightmare the Scyther]

I'd say that's more of a prologue, but as stated by Leon, there were no grammatical errors spotted. How about editing this so it says "Prologue", and make the next one chapter one? From what I know, this is kind of short for a prologue, but it's closer to the actual thing than it is to a chapter.

 

[TIMO]

heh heh... i like it... short and sweet...

 

[Yami Ryu]

This was your chapter:
Lucario looks at pokemon.
Lucario and Aaron talk.
Lucario says, "ZOMG!"
Aaron gasp.

Leon summed this up pretty well in four lines.

And I'm just wondering, is this even what the two armies of pokemon were fighting over? Land and sea? Cause if not you could warn this is AU- but hell it's already AU as I can see a mary sue OC from far off.

You skimped in description and already I fear for later chapters- as your last excuse for poor description was first person, and because you didn't want to fix the loopholes and etc, I gave up. I hope you don't leave gaping holes here either :/

Anyways getting back to the point- you poorly described Lucario, and if I didn't know what he looked like already I would be visualising something like a houndoom, or arcanine colored blue and black- randomly. I could visualise Aaron a bit better as well- Aaron is a human. Not hard to visualise what you are. Hell you went into his description and- assuming the blonde beauty mary sue is Kris. :/

And as Leon said- double posting/bumping is against the rules. Instead of doing that you could have taken this, put it into note/word, edited it, tweaked it, made it a better length, put more effort into it, instead of leaving it as something more like a short prologue that has the feeling you wrote it up in the reply box.

:/

 

[Simon Togetic]

I like how you've made it much longer. But still, you failed to say what kinds of Pokemon were one each side in the battle and how they attacked, which frankly disappointed me.

And STILL no-one's told me what on earth AU is, or a 'Mary Sue' OC...

 

[chosen_one386]

Hey! It’s time for the pre-chapter news! Not much news today, but Dustox is the Pokemon of the week. Anyway, I rewrote the prologue, so read it before you read chapter 1. Enjoy! ^_^!



Chapter 1

“Come on Pikachu! We’re going to be late!” I said, sprinting fast down the grassy plain.

“You’re the one who slept late, you know!” Pikachu yelled.

We were running toward the stadium in Ever Grande for the Grand Conference. If we hurried, we could make it in time to sign up.

Entering the stadium, we found two lines in the lobby; one for trainers and one for coordinators. I went to stand in the trainer line, gasping for breath.

“Hey! I’m not surprised to see you here!”

I turned to see the coordinator line had stretched back right beside the trainer line. I smiled at a guy with green hair, green eyes, and who was wearing a black shirt and a purple jacket and pants. He ran his hand through his messy green hair and flipped it in one short motion.

“Hey Drew! I’m not surprised to see you here either!” I said.

“I saw May a few minutes ago,” Drew said.

“Oh yeah! We’re supposed to be meeting in the Pokemon Center.”

“Well, good luck!”

“Good luck to you, too!”

I had gotten to the front of the line. A Nurse Joy was registering the trainers.

“Hi! Can I have your name please?” She asked me.

“Kris Reeves.”

“Age?”

“14”

“Hometown?”
“Pallet Town, Kanto.”

“Okay, can I see your trainer ID please?”

I handed her my Pokedex and she checked my qualifications. She nodded. “You have eight league wins, so you’re good to go!” The qualification was four wins, so I took Pikachu and headed to the Pokemon Center nearby.

When I got there, the whole Legendary Team was congregated. A boy with messy black hair, on which a red and black hat sat, turned to me and smiled. “Hey Kris! Finally, we can start the meeting!”

Everyone crowded around the table and I turned to a boy with dark blue hair and glasses. “Okay, Max, give us the information in the Grand Conference!”

“Okay! The trainers and coordinators will be divided up in the beginning. In the preliminaries, trainers will have to win three one-on-one battles to continue. Coordinators will have to win an appeal round to continue.”

“After that, trainers will undergo three three-on-three battles to get to the finals. Coordinators will go through three one-on-one contest battles to get to the finals.”

“In the finals, trainers will go through three six-on-six rounds. The trainer who wins in the end goes on to the master round. In the coordinator finals, three double contest battles will the held. The winning coordinator will go on to the master round.”

“In the master round, the top trainer and coordinator face off. The first match is a three-on-three contest round. The second is a three-on-three battle round. The last is an Aquapolian battle. The trainer or coordinator who wins two or more of these rounds will win the tournament,” Max said.

“You guys got that?” I asked.

Everyone nodded.

“Wow… Are you like a team or something?” I turned around to face a girl, about thirteen, with brown hair. She wore a red spaghetti strap tank top, blue jean capris, and tennis shoes. She had on sunglasses, but took them off when she spoke, revealing her brown eyes.

“Oh, yes! This is the Legendary Team!” I said.

“Really? My name’s Rachel. I’m from Pallet Town.”

“My name’s Kris! I’m from Pallet Town, too! Why haven’t we met before?” I asked.

“Well, I moved to Pallet Town from New York right before I left on my journey. I left about a year after you did. I’m a dark-type and I travel alone.”

A Scyther walked up beside her. “Well, I travel with my Pokemon of course.” The Scyther greeted Pikachu curtly and walked away.

“Sorry, she’s a bit moody…” Rachel said.

“Moody is not the word…” Pikachu muttered.

I glared at her, then spotted a boy with short black hair beside Rachel. He looked familiar…

“Hey Hector! Long time, no see!” I said.

“Hey Kris!” He said.

“You two know each other?” Rachel asked, curious.

“Yeah, we met back in New York back when the war started,” Hector said. “Well, I’ve got to go feed my Pokemon, bye!”

After he walked away, Rachel turned to me, her eyes in a dreamy state. “Hector’s my boyfriend. Isn’t he sweet?”

I nodded. “Well, I’ll see you in the tournament!” I said.

“Good luck!” Rachel replied, putting her sunglasses back on and walking away. Her Scyther was waiting nearby, looking sort of cranky. When she saw Rachel, though, she brightened up.

I turned to the others and said, “Okay guys! Let’s show Southern Japan how much our training has paid off!”

They cheered and we headed to the stadium. Ash and I went to the trainer seating, while May and Sarah walked to the coordinator section.

I sat down and discovered Rachel in the seat next to me. We smiled at each other and turned toward the arena.

Two women, who looked very much alike, stood in the middle of the stadium. One wore a pink dress and white high heels while the other wore a blue sports tank top, blue shorts, white boots and a visor. They both had tan, curly hair. I recognized the one in the dress as Vivian and the other as Lillian. They were both contest announcers and were probably hired to announce the different trainer and coordinator matches.

“Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the first ever Grand Conference! The only tournament that combines both contest battling and regular battling!” Vivian announced. “I will be your announcer for contest battles!”

“And I will announce regular battles!” Lillian said. “First up are the trainer preliminaries! Our first match is between Bridget from Mossdeep City and Kris, our very own vice-champion, from Pallet Town!”

I exited the trainer stands and walked onto my side of the battlefield. On the opposite side stood a girl about my age with brown hair, wearing a black tank top, green skirt, and black boots.

“This will be a one-on-one battle! Now, trainers, send out your Pokemon!” Lillian said.

“Go, Dragonite!” Bridget yelled, releasing a large orange dragon-like Pokemon. The Dragonite had small blue wings but his sky attacks were powerful.

“Go, Delcatty!” I yelled, releasing my prim cat Pokemon. Delcatty had pretty tan and purple fur and was always calm during battle.

“Dragonite, Twister!” Bridget yelled. Dragonite started to flap his wings, causing a whirling twister to roar towards Delcatty.

“Delcatty, Blizzard!” I yelled. Delcatty opened her mouth and blew a raging Blizzard attack at the twister, knocking it back at Dragonite, who dodged it.

“Dragonite, Dragonbreath!” Bridget shouted. He shot a wave of dragon energy at Delcatty, who countered with another Blizzard.

“Delcatty, Thunderbolt!” I yelled. Delcatty stood back and fired a bolt of thunder at Dragonite, who became paralyzed once he was hit.

I smiled; we had Dragonite right where we wanted him. “Delcatty, finish him off with Blizzard!” Delcatty released another Blizzard on Dragonite, knocking him out.

“And Dragonite is unable to battle! Kris and Delcatty win!” Lillian said.

I cheered and hugged Delcatty, who pushed me away and grunted, “Don’t touch the fur!”

I laughed and recalled her to her Poke Ball.

I watched as Ash and his Pikachu defeated a Kingdra. I couldn’t focus on the match, though. I wondered what was missing in this tournament or what was missing at all. I sighed. It was Maxie.

Maxie was a very powerful fire-type who used to be the leader of Team Magma. He had been a good friend of my dad and uncle’s and used to care for me a lot.

Then, he left when I was two. Afterward, I lost my memory and when he showed up ten years later, we struck a fierce hatred for each other. He had tried many times to kill me to get me out of his way while he was trying to control Groudon, the power of the land. I soon found out about our past, but it wasn’t until the Great War started that I found out he was being controlled by the power of the land. He then became my mentor, teaching me my powers and becoming like a father to me.

Three months beforehand, the legendary Pokemon called him to spend time alone in the Cave of Origin, studying the legends and my powers. I hadn’t seen him since. I missed him since he was the only one who kept me sane when I was trying to control my powers.

Suddenly, Rachel nudged me with her elbow. “Kris! Your second preliminary match is about to start!”

I gasped. “Thanks for telling me!” I said as I headed onto the battlefield. On the other side was a girl with long brown hair wearing a short black and red dress.

“The next preliminary match is between Alice from Sootopolis City, Hoenn and Kris from Pallet Town, Kanto! Let the match begin!” Lillian said.

“Go, Clefable!” Alice yelled, releasing her pink fairy-like Pokemon.

“Go, Jolteon!” I released my yellow lightning Pokemon. I had caught him as an Eevee before the Great War began. “Double Kick!” I yelled.

Jolteon charged toward Clefable, delivering a fierce kicking attack to the normal-type.

“Clefable, Flamethrower!” Alice yelled. Clefable shot a Flamethrower at Jolteon, who narrowly dodged.

“Bite!” I yelled as he went in and bit Clefable on the ear, hard. She screamed, trying to shake the electric-type off.

“Now, Thunder!” I yelled. Jolteon let go of Clefable and hit her with a powerful Thunder attack, knocking her out.

“And Kris wins her second round of her preliminary matches!” Lillian announced.

I watched as Ash battled a trainer from Goldenrod with a Togetic and as Rachel battled a trainer from Mauville with a Plusle. Finally, I had my third and last preliminary match.

When I walked onto the field, I was up against a guy with shocking white hair wearing a green shirt and shorts.
“Here is the first match of the last round of the preliminaries! Kris from Pallet Town, Kanto against Sam from Lilycove City, Hoenn! Let the match begin!” Lillian said.

“Go, Claydol!” Sam said, releasing a ground/psychic clay doll Pokemon.

“Go, Mighyena!” I yelled, releasing a dark dog-like Pokemon. He was actually Maxie’s, but he had been training with me while Maxie was gone.

“Claydol, Ice Beam!” Sam yelled. One of Claydol’s floating arms began to glow as it fired an ice attack at Mightyena. Mightyena dodged swiftly and barreled toward Claydol.

“Claydol, Hyper Beam!” Sam yelled. Claydol’s other arm glowed with energy as it fired a Hyper Beam at the dark-type, who dodged again.

“Mightyena, Hyper Beam!” I yelled as Mightyena flew toward Claydol. Firing a Hyper Beam at Claydol, he knocked the powerful psychic-type out.

“And Kris from Pallet Town, Kanto continues to the main round!” Ash yelled. The Legendary Team, plus Rachel and Hector, was sitting around a table at a restaurant near the stadium.

I laughed. “What about Ash from Pallet Town, Kanto?” I asked.

“And Rachel from Pallet Town, Kanto?” Rachel laughed.

“Well, we all know Pallet Town is home to the best trainers in the world!” Ash said.

“Don’t forget about the little people who are coordinators while you’re at the top, Ash!” May said.

“Oh come on! You, Sarah, and Drew were awesome!” I said, giving her a high-five.

“Thanks!” She laughed.

After supper, we walked back to the hotel that we were staying in. Ash and I stayed behind.

“Good luck, Ash…” I said.

“Good luck to you, too.” Ash said, turning to me. “Want to do something tonight? Just you and me?” Ash asked.

I blushed and looked at the ground. Was he asking me out? “Sure!” I said.

We walked to a large park nearby, silently holding hands. Suddenly, Ash discovered an ice cream stand.

“Want some?” He asked me.

“Yes,” I replied.

We both got cookie dough ice cream (our favorite kind) and sat on a bench nearby, looking up at the moon. In a few days, it would be a full moon, but tonight it was perfect.

Ash looked at me with determination in his eyes. It startled me, because he usually wasn’t so serious.

“Kris, I need to tell you something,” he said.

“What?” I asked, holding my breath.

“I love you…”

I suddenly felt like my head was spinning. What had he just said? Then, I realized and gasped. I couldn’t believe it!

“Ash… I love you, too!” I said.

Suddenly, something popped into my head. I loved Ash, but something was holding me back.

We blushed and looked away from each other for a few minutes. I still felt dizzy from…what? Love? Tiredness? Both? I glanced at my watch. It was nearly midnight!

“I think we better head back to the hotel,” I said.

“Yeah, you’re right.” We stood up and headed back to our hotel, holding hands. Before I went into the room where all of us girls were staying, I leaned forward and kissed Ash lightly on the lips. We smiled and both blushed. “Good night,” he said, walking down the hall.

When I opened the door to our room, I noticed everybody was up, talking. May was the first to notice me. She stopped talking and stared at me as the others followed suit.

“What?” I asked.

“Where were you?” May asked, smiling.

“Out…”

“With who?” Rachel asked.

“Ash…”

Everyone held their breath. “And?” Misty asked.

The next hour was filled with them trying to get information about Ash and me out of me. I didn’t tell them a thing, and climbed into my bed, smiling mysteriously. They groaned, bursting with curiosity, but soon were all asleep.

The next day, I sat in the trainer stands between Ash and Rachel again. Ash and I didn’t say a word about the night before, silently agreeing to wait until the Grand Conference was over before we would do anything.

“Our first match in the main trainer round will be between Colie from Azalea Town, Jhoto and Kris from Pallet Town, Kanto!” Lillian announced.

I walked onto the field, ready for action. Across from me, a girl with jet-black hair wearing a black tank top and jean shorts stood.

“Go, Scizor!” She yelled, releasing her first Pokemon. The bug/steel-type stood tall and menacing on the grassy field.

“Go, Blaziken!” I yelled. Releasing my fire/fighting-type. As soon as he was released, Blaziken got into a fighting stance.

“Begin the match!” Lillian yelled.

“Scizor, Metal Claw!” Colie yelled. Scizor’s giant claw began to glow as he flew toward Blaziken.

“Blaziken, Blaze Kick!” Blaziken swung a searing hot kick at Scizor, knocking him back. The bug/steel-type was weakened significantly, but it still had enough energy to attack.

“Scizor, Hyper Beam!” Colie yelled. Scizor’s claws began to glow with energy again as he shot a beam of light at Blaziken. He jumped into the air to avoid the Hyper Beam, then thundered down to deliver a devastating Blaze Kick to Scizor, who crashed to the ground, knocked out.

“Scizor is unable to battle! Blaziken wins!” Lilian announced. “What will be Colie’s second Pokemon?”

“Go, Omastar!” She yelled, releasing the prehistoric water/rock-type. “Bubblebeam!” Omastar shot a beam of bubbles at Blaziken, who dodged.

“Blaziken, Sky Uppercut!” I yelled. Blaziken’s hand glowed with fighting energy as he barreled toward Omastar.

“Omastar, Hydro Pump!” Colie yelled. Omastar shot a wave of water at Blaziken. His Sky Uppercut cut through the water, but before he could hit him, Omastar increased the power of the wave and it slammed into Blaziken, sending him flying across the field and knocking him out.

“Blaziken is unable to battle! Omastar wins!” Lillian announced.

“Swampert, go!” I yelled, releasing my water/ground-type. “Mud Shot!” Swampert flung balls of mud at Omastar.

“Omastar, Protect!” Colie yelled. A glowing barrier appeared between the attack and him, shielding him from getting hit.

“Swampert, Take Down!” I yelled. Swampert barreled toward Omastar and slammed into the protect defense, shattering it.

“Now, Earthquake!” I yelled. Swampert slammed his fist into the ground, sending seismic waves at Omastar. Without his Protect defense, he was knocked out.

“Omastar is unable to battle! Swampert wins!” Lillian announced.

“Go, Meganium!” Colie yelled, releasing the grass Jhoto starter’s final evolved form. “Vine Whip!” Meganium shot two vines at Swampert, ensnaring him. He was lifted off of his feet as the grass-type threw him through the air.

“Swampert, Take Down!” I yelled when he landed safely on the ground. He flew toward Meganium.

“Razor Leaf!” Colie yelled. A stream of Razor Leaves flew toward Swampert.

“Swampert, Mud Shot!” I yelled. Swampert shot a round of mud balls at the razor sharp leaves, blowing them back. The attack also hit Meganium, but didn’t hurt her much.

“Now, Solarbeam!” Colie yelled. The flower around Meganium’s neck started to glow. My mind raced as I thought of an attack to counter it. Suddenly, Meganium released a blast of energy at Swampert, knocking him out.

“Swampert is unable to battle! Meganium wins!” Lillian announced.

“Go, Altaria!” I yelled, releasing my blue and white songbird Pokemon. “Dragonbreath!” Altaria shot a wave of dragon energy at the grass-type, hitting her head on. She recovered from the attack quickly though.

“Meganium, Vine Whip!” Colie yelled. Meganium threw her vines at Altaria, but the flying/dragon-type dodged it and began to glow.

“Altaria, Sky Attack!” I yelled. Altaria shone with a bright light as it barreled toward Meganium. She slammed into the grass-type, knocking her out.

“Meganium is unable to battle! Altaria wins! The victory goes to Kris from Pallet Town, Kanto!” Lillian announced.

“Yes!” I cheered as Altaria flew down beside me. I smiled, silently wishing Maxie was there to see all of the action.

 

[Yami Ryu]

The girl smiled and started to walk away, humming. Suddenly, she began to sing. Aaron gasped. She sounded like an angel. As the words of the song floated over him, he stood amazed. He had never heard a song like this before.

Sorry but to me this just screams mary sue. And no she doesn't have to be utterly all perfect to be counted/considered a mary sue :/

“Claydol, Ice Beam!” Sam yelled. One of Claydol’s floating arms began to glow as it fired an ice attack at Mightyena. Mightyena dodged swiftly and barreled toward Claydol.

“Claydol, Hyper Beam!” Sam yelled. Claydol’s other arm glowed with energy as it fired a Hyper Beam at the dark-type, who dodged again.

“Mightyena, Hyper Beam!” I yelled as Mightyena flew toward Claydol. Firing a Hyper Beam at Claydol, he knocked the powerful psychic-type out.

And still your battles are poor- even for first person this is poor. I mean what does Ice Beam and Hyper Beam look like? And considering Claydol's defences, and no stab from Mightyena, I doubt a Claydol would go down in one hit from Hyperbeam, it's a bit like Snorlax. A Tank. Sometimes it's good to keep battles realistic .. and less Gameboy style descriptionlesstic.

“Delcatty, Blizzard!” I yelled. Delcatty opened her mouth and blew a raging Blizzard attack at the twister, knocking it back at Dragonite, who dodged it.

So basically Delcatty barfed out a blizzard attack. You know just because a pokemon can learn it gamewise, doesn't mean there's real support to back it up- especially with description like that. I mean how would Delcatty summon the energy to form water, chill it to ice, and spew it as a blizzard attack? For like Surf, for real purposes, I believe Blizard and such things need weather/etc help to be pulled off by pokemon not of that element :/

And to go for something realistic also- Swampert could have used earthquake just before Meganium unleashed Solarbeam- as the disruption could have caused Meganium to lose its focus, lose the energy and well, lose. :/ that's why your battles suck mostly, you don't use imagination, you use pokebots and very tacky battling with little description and emotion during them. And you'll go OH THIS IS THE BEST I CAN DO WITH FIRST PERSON.

Well tough, either get better or have someone else write out your battle scenes for you, as they are not a shining part of your fic. :/

Your characters are still bland, and awfully so- this is not helped by the fact you're using first person. This is not helped by the fact you ignored attempts to aid you to get better, or basically hide behind a screen of 'this is the best I can do' :/ if I did that I wouldn't have gotten anywhere with my writing, or spriting, or gaming.

 

[chosen_one386]

Kris IS NOT a mary sue! Wouldn't you expect an angel to have a voice like an angel?! I would! Again, why do you think Kris is a mary sue? I mean, there is no one like her in the world and would a mary sue be a 16,000 year old angel who has a dark past, is being trained by her former arch-enemy, and whose powers get so out of wack sometimes, she gets deathly sick? In other words, KRIS IS NOT A MARY SUE! End of discussion... -_-

Now, in the battle between Mightyena and Claydol, don't you remember back in The Beginning of the War, when the same Mightyena took out four of May and Brock's Pokemon with one Hyper Beam? And yes, if it was hit from a point blank range with a Hyper Beam from a Mightyena whose attack is incredibly high, it would have a chance of getting knocked out in one hit.

I took my discription of Delcatty's Blizzard from the anime. I remember how May's Skitty used Blizzard and how, in the filler episode when Skitty learned Blizzard, the Delcatty used it.

Meganium is a grass-type, so ground attacks don't work very well against it. It's defense was high, seeing as the Mud Shot attack from Swampert didn;t hurt it much. True, an Earthquake could have made it lose its balance, but some grass types can absorb sunlight faster and fire a Solarbeam faster then others. Kris may not have had enough time to react to Meganium's Solarbeam, causing Swampert to be knocked out before she could counter the attack.

I actually do use imagination, but for the most part, I'm having trouble coming up with Pokemon and attacks for each battle. I have the Pokemon down for the last three six-on-six battles, so they will be the best detailed, but frankly, it's hard to come up with an unique moveset and team of Pokemon for this. I'd be glad if someone could send me a list of six more Pokemon and movesets since I need some strong ones for the last two battles of this round. That would help me a lot and help me focus on the details of the battle.

As for my characters are bland and I haven't taken any advice, I have. I just can't please you Yami, so I see I see I'm just going to have to work on this fic my way, working on characters, battles, and description my way,too. I'm sorry I'm not as an accomplished artist as you are, but I may be one day. As for now, I'm working on this fic to write it the way I like it. I may not put a lot of description in it and the battles may not be the best, but I'm going to do my best. And, well, if you don't like that, then TOUGH. I've got a lot of things I have to deal with right now that are frankly more importent then dealing with you and I'm sure you have more importent things to do than dealing with me... so there.

Chapter 2 up soon. I desperately need a therapist... -_-

 

[Simon Togetic]

You made dear sweet Togetic miss out on a battle scene? How could you?!

As for the battle scenes you DID include:

Delcatty vs. Dragonite - Hax city. All three Blizzards hit, while Thunderbolt got the paralysis. The chance of this happening in the game is 3.43%. If I was a judge in that battle, I would suspect something fishy.

Clefable vs. Jolteon - Flanmethrower and Thunder are supposed to be quite impresive to see, so at least TRY to describe what they looked like, like you did in the previous battle scene. Here's my description of Thunder: Jolteon released Clefable's ear from its jaws, then shot lightning into the sky. A mighty column of lightning then crashed down from the heavens, coursing through Clefable, who quickly fainted from the sheer power of the shock. On a more personal note I wished Clefable would be able to do a bit more than use Flamethrower and be Jolteon's punchbag.

Claydol vs. Mightyena - No comment.

6 vs. 6 battle - Much better, much more description there.

Another note: If the final round is an Aquapolian battle, that must mean that humans can't compete, right?

As for a team with moveset, who is it for and what kind of team do you want it to be?

 

[chosen_one386]

Sorry Simon! But, I am training a Togetic on my current team on Emerald!

Delcatty vs. Dragonite: Well, seeing as a Blizzard attack could be a wider range than in the games, it might have a better chance of hitting an opponent. As for the Thunderbolt, yeah, I admit it was just luck.

Clefable vs. Jolteon: I admit, I had NO inspiration for moves for Clefable...

6-vs-6 battle... Um, I haven't done one yet... It will be in the next chapter, which will be posted sometime this week.

No humans live in Southern Japan, so none are competing. Humans have shied away from Pokemon over the years, as I said in the Beginning of the War, humans were just starting to catch Pokemon.

I've already got my movesets, so don't worry about sending me any! I finally had inspiration!

Chapter 2 up sometime this week!

 

[Simon Togetic]

I admit, I had NO inspiration for moves for Clefable...

...

...

...

If it was a Magneton or Eeveelution, maybe. But Clefable?! You take the Pokemon with (arguably) the biggest movepool in the game and say you had no inspiration for moves?! Don't take this personally: I just find it VERY ironic.

If you want some inspiration, bear in mind that there are 8 or 9 standard Clefable movesets: Belly Drum, Cosmic Power staller, Calm Mind, Choice Band and Counter being among them... plus there's the less common ones like sunnybeamer and psuedopasser, or alternatively there are the home made movesets like Return/Wish/Ice Beam/Flamethrower... So next time you're stuck for Clefable movesets, read this. XD

 

[chosen_one386]

Thanks Simon! I really didn't know about Clefable's movepool and strategies much. Well, thank you for the reference, since I'm training a Clefairy, too.

 

[chosen_one386]

It’s been a while since I last posted since I’ve started school. It’s the third week and I’m getting into the groove, so you won’t have to wait as long next time. In the news… The Pokemon of the week is… Tyranitar! Here’s Chapter 2! Enjoy! ^_^!



Chapter 2

“Wake up!” Jirachi nudged a man with bright red hair who was bent over a book of Aquapolian writing. He wore a plain black shirt and pants, which made him nearly invisible in the dark temple.

Jirachi nudged the man again, hoping he was alive. He was silent and Jirachi sighed. Maybe keeping him in the Cave of Origin for three months was a bad idea. Maybe they had accidentally killed him!

“Wake up!” Jirachi snatched the book from his hands and slammed it over his head. He woke with a start, nearly having a heart attack.

“What the…” He rose to his feet in a flash and snatched the book from Jirachi.

“Sorry Maxie. I thought you were dead…” Jirachi said.

Maxie rolled his eyes. He had learned months before that the legendary Pokemon acted just like the Pokemon he was used to being around. Many people believed the legendaries were noble and calm all of the time, but Maxie knew better. Sometimes, they were cheerful, over excited, or extremely cranky. He had learned the hard way no to approach one of them when they were cranky. One day, he had approached Suicune with a question and nearly had his head blown off with a Hydro Pump from the legendary of wind. Later, Raikou, Suicune’s brother, told Maxie she had been having a hard time being chased by rare Pokemon collectors, especially one crazy one from Jhoto.

Jirachi led him along the dark chamber. The only light came from the Aquapolian writing on the wall lighting up as they passed by. After a few minutes, they entered a huge chamber where three orbs sat on the podiums on each side of the chamber. On the right, the Red Orb sat under a picture of Groudon. On the left, the Blue Orb glowed under a picture of Kyogre. In the very back of the chamber, a white orb sat underneath a picture of Lugia and an angel. Maxie knew instantly this was the Crystal Orb; the most powerful object of the legendaries which belonged to the Chosen One.

Jirachi floated to the middle of the chamber and levitated there, looking ticked. “Where are they?” He asked.

“Who?” Maxie asked.

Suddenly, a burst of green light appeared beside Jirachi. Celebi, the legendary Pokemon of time travel, appeared.

“Where’s Mew?” Jirachi asked.

“He’s out somewhere, doing something stupid I suppose,” Celebi said, rolling his eyes.

Maxie had observed that Jirachi, Celebi, and Mew, also known as the little legendaries, were the unofficial leaders of the legendaries. Jirachi sighed and turned to him.

“For the past three months, you have been studying the Chosen One’s powers and the legends of the Cave of Origin. We think you are ready to go and start teaching the Chosen One. So, you may leave the Cave of Origin now,” Jirachi said.

“Thank you,” Maxie said. Jirachi led him to the entrance of the Cave of Origin.

“Good luck!” Jirachi said, flying back inside.

Maxie stood at the entrance for a while, wondering what he should do next. He had a feeling something important was going on, but after three months in seclusion, his mind was blank when it came to deciding what to do when he could leave.

He decided to go to the Hall of Fame first. As soon as he left the entrance of the Cave of Origin, a blast exploded in front of him, kicking up a small cloud of dust.

When the dust cleared, Maxie spotted a guy with jet-black hair and black eyes with glasses in front of him. Maxie frowned. He just got out of the Cave of Origin and he already had to deal with the Cipher. This guy was surrounded by a Shadow aura, telling him that he was an admin. He was surprised he could sense Shadow energy; usually only the Chosen One could do that. Maybe spending all of that time with the legendaries affected him somehow.

The guy smirked. “Aren’t you the Chosen One’s mentor?”

“Yes…” Maxie frowned. “How…”

The guy motioned to the book in Maxie’s hand. “The book of the Chosen One. It belongs to her mentor.”

“What do you want?” Maxie asked.

“Just that book.” The admin shot a beam of dark energy at him, and he dodged. The admin was too fast and slammed into him with a dark punch. Maxie groaned. It had been a while since he had used his powers to fight. He hoped he would be strong enough to fight off the Cipher.

Praying there were no more Cipher agents around, Maxie swung a blazing hot fire punch at the admin, slamming into him. He was surprised at how much stronger his powers were. Maybe spending so much time around the legendaries had paid off.

Still, this admin was pretty strong. He once again shot a beam of dark energy at Maxie, who countered it with a flamethrower. The fire attack destroyed the dark beam and nearly hit the admin. He was too fast and Maxie knew he would have to find a way to stop him in his tracks.

Before he could react, another blast of dark energy slammed into him. He was sent flying into the side of the entrance. The admin stepped forward to fire another attack. Maxie was low on energy and could barely move, much less counter or dodge another blast.

Suddenly, an orb of energy slammed into the admin, knocking him off of his feet. A Pokemon that looked similar to a dog landed on the ground beside Maxie. His eyes were ringed with black fur, causing him to look like a bandit. He stood on his hind legs and muscles bulged underneath his black and blue fur. A legendary aura surrounded him, but Maxie had never seen him before.

The admin frowned and Maxie knew he knew he wouldn’t be able to attack him now. He would be overpowered. The admin disappeared in a blast of dark energy.

“Thanks,” Maxie said to the strange Pokemon.

“No problem! Stupid Cipher…” He muttered.

A burst of light appeared beside the Pokemon. A pink kitten-like Pokemon levitated over the other Pokemon. His long tail swung through the air excitedly. He giggled and the other Pokemon groaned.

“Mew!” Will you leave me alone?!” He said.

“No! I like hanging out with you!”

“Um…” Maxie knew who Mew was, but this other Pokemon confused him.

“Oh, allow me to introduce myself! I am…” The Pokemon struck a fighting pose and Mew giggled. “Rukario! The legendary Pokemon of energy waves!”

“And I am Mew! The legendary Pokemon of mirages!” Mew giggled.

“He knows who you are, idiot!” Rukario said.

“So, I just wanted to introduce myself, too! It’s fun!”

Rukario groaned. “Whatever. Hey! Are you the Chosen One’s mentor?” He asked Maxie, motioning to the book.

“Yes. I’m Maxie,” he said. “I haven’t seen you around the Cave of Origin before.”

“Yeah, I don’t spend much time around here. I’ve been searching for something…” Rukario got a faraway look in his eyes. “Actually someone… Well, on to Ever Grande!” He started to walk in the direction of the city.

“Wait…” Maxie suddenly remembered what the important event was that he had forgotten. “It’s March, isn’t it?”

“Yeah…” Rukario said slowly. Then, he turned to Mew and muttered, “I don’t know about this one… You think he could teach the Chosen One?”

Maxie rolled his eyes and followed Rukario. “If I hurry, maybe I can get there in time to see the Grand Conference.”

“You’re going to the Grand Conference?” Rukario asked.

“Yes.”

“Then let’s go!” He said, running toward Ever Grande with Mew flying behind him. Maxie wondered who Rukario was looking for before following after the legendary Pokemon.



I tapped my foot and sighed. My next opponent was late for our match. If she didn’t get on the field soon, the match would be forfeited to me. I hated winning that way. I showed no skill at all.

Finally, a girl with blond hair trailing down her back bounced onto the field. Yes, she literally bounced, her brown eyes shining. She wore a white shirt and pants.

I groaned. She was obviously one of those really hyper trainers. They were always happy, no matter what happened during a battle and they annoyed me greatly.

“Finally, we’re able to start this match! This is the second of the main round! Our trainers are Kris from Pallet Town, Kanto and Carmie, from Rustboro City, Hoenn! Now, trainers, send out your Pokemon!” Lillian announced.

“Go, Swellow!” Carmie yelled, releasing a blue swallow-like Pokemon. He had a white chest with a v-shaped red striped down the center.

“Go, Espeon!” I released my psychic cat-like Pokemon. She had big ears, purple fur, a tail that was split at the end, and a red jewel in the middle of her forehead. I had caught her during the first Shadow conspiracy.

“Swellow, Quick Attack!” Carmie yelled. Swellow flew toward Espeon at top speed.

“Espeon, Confusion!” I yelled. The psychic energy from the Confusion shielded Espeon from Swellow’s attack. Then, she surrounded him with psychic energy and slammed him into the ground. This caused the shield around Espeon to disappear for just long enough to let Swellow slam into her with an Aerial Ace.

“Swellow, Return attack!” Carmie yelled. Swellow doubled back, ready to slam into Espeon.

“Espeon, Return attack, now!” I yelled. Espeon and Swellow slammed into each other, sending them both flying. Espeon landed on her feet. She had done more damage to Swellow than he did to her. Carmie smiled when she realized this and I knew she was up to something.

“Swellow, Endeavor!” She yelled. Swellow glowed slightly as he flew toward Espeon. I yelled at her to protect herself with another Confusion attack. Swellow slammed into the attack again and again, but he had no success in destroying the barrier. He was knocked back once again by the Confusion attack. The split second the psychic barrier disappeared, Swellow’s Endeavor hit Espeon. Both Pokemon were now exhausted. I knew another Confusion barrier would fail due to Espeon’s low energy.

“Espeon, Psychic!” I yelled. A wave of psychic energy flew toward Swellow, slamming into him and knocking him out.

“Swellow is unable to battle! Espeon wins!” Lillian announced.

“Go, Golbat!” Carmie yelled. She released a blue and purple bat-like Pokemon. He bared his sharp fangs at Espeon, but she wasn’t disturbed.

“Golbat, Bite!” Carmie ordered. Golbat flew at Espeon, his fangs bared and sharp. Our Confusion defense was gone and Espeon was exhausted. She barely dodged him as Golbat sped past. Golbat doubled back and slammed into Espeon, knocking her out.

“Espeon is unable to battle! Golbat wins!” Lillian said.

“Go, Blastoise!” I yelled, releasing a large blue turtle-like Pokemon. He had two cannons at the top of his shell which delivered powerful water attacks.

“Golbat, Poison Fang!” Carmie yelled. Once again, Golbat bared his fangs as he sped toward Blastiose. This time, I could see poison dripping from the tip of each fang.

“Blastoise, Skull Bash!” I yelled. Blastoise slammed into Golbat hard with his skull. Golbat flew through the air, but gained control of his flight before he could slam into the wall of the stadium.

“Golbat, Confuse Ray!” Carmie yelled. A ray of energy slammed into Blastoise, who immediately became confused.

“Now, Air Cutter!” Carmie yelled. My mind raced as Golbat shot waves of wind at Blastoise, who was spinning with confusion. Then, I got an idea.

“Blastoise, use Hydro Pump in the air!” I yelled. Blastoise shot a wave of water straight up in the air. It came back down in a downdraft. The water snapped Blastoise out of his confusion and destroyed the Air Cutter. “Now, use Hydro Cannon!” I yelled. An extremely powerful wave of water slammed into Golbat, knocking him out cold.

“Golbat is unable to battle! Blastoise wins!” Lillian announced.

“Go, Murkrow!” Carmie yelled. A black crow-like Pokemon appeared on the battlefield. “Now, Taunt!” Murkrow shook his tail at Blastoise, taunting him and ticking him off. Before I could stop him, he lunged forward with a Skull Bash attack.

“Now, Confuse Ray!” Once again, an energy wave slammed right into Blastoise, confusing him. “Faint Attack!” Murkrow disappeared for a second and reappeared to slam into Blastoise, knocking it out.

“Blastoise is unable to battle! Murkrow wins!” Lillian said.

“Go, Pikachu!” I yelled. Pikachu ran onto the field, ready for action. “Now, Quick Attack!” Pikachu raced toward Murkrow at top speed.

“Murkrow, Night Shade!” Carmie yelled. A wave of ghost energy slammed into Pikachu head on. Obviously, Murkrow was pretty well trained since the attack dealt Pikachu a lot of damage.

“Pikachu, Thunderbolt!” I yelled. Pikachu shot a bolt of electricity at Murkrow.

“Murkrow, Faint Attack!” Carmie yelled. Murkrow disappeared, dodging the Thunderbolt.

“Pikachu, now!” I yelled. Pikachu and I had come up with a strategy using her ability, which paralyzes opponents on contact. Usually, that ability kicks in at any time. We had come up with a way for her to control it freely. Murkrow slammed into Pikachu hard. He flew backwards, paralyzed. Taking advantage of him being unable to move, Pikachu slammed into him with an Iron Tail attack, knocking him out.

“Murkrow is unable to battle! Pikachu wins! Kris from Pallet Town, Kanto wins this match!” Lillian announced.

“That was awesome!” Carmie yelled, excited. Recalling her Murkrow, she ran over to me and shook my hand. “It was such an honor to battle you!” She said.

“Um… Thanks?” I said, confused.

She bounced out of the stadium, confusing me to no end.

“That girl has issues…” Pikachu said, shaking her head. “Major issues…”

“Pikachu!” I groaned. I’ve tried a muzzle and a Poke ball, but sometimes she had to say the first thing that comes to mind. Sometimes, it’s just downright embarrassing!

I watched Ash and his Grovyle defeat a Luvdisc at the end of his second match. Rachel and her Scyther were unstoppable; defeating a Whiscash with one Hyper Beam. Meanwhile, May had finished off a contest battle with her Bulbasaur against a Milotic while Drew and his Flygon defeated a Raichu. Sarah, who had the least experience of the three coordinators, was doing well. Her Venusaur was a force to be reckoned with.

Finally, I had my last match of the main round. When I walked onto the field, I faced a boy with messy brown hair and brown eyes with glasses. He was wearing a gray t-shirt with the words “Pokemon Academy” on it with gray shorts. I rolled my eyes. Great… Another genius…

“The last match of the main round will be between Kris, from Pallet Town, Kanto, and Jonathan, from Ever Grande! Now, let the match begin!” Lillian announced.

“Go, Linoone!” Jonathan yelled, releasing a light brown ferret-like Pokemon. He had dark brown stripes down his back and very bright blue eyes.

“Go, Delcatty!” I yelled, once again releasing my normal cat-like Pokemon.

“Linoone, Dig!” Jonathan yelled. Linoone quickly burrowed underground. Delcatty sat on the field, nonchalant. Linnone burst out of the ground behind her and slammed into a Safeguard defense.

“Delcatty, Thunderbolt!” I yelled. Delcatty shot a bolt of thunder at Linoone, who once again dodged the attack by digging underground.

“Slash!” Jonathan yelled. This time, Linoone appeared right in front of Delcatty and slashed her across the face with his sharp claws. She doubled back, shaking her head. When she looked up again, her eyes blazed with anger. She hit Linoone head on with a Blizzard, which sent him flying.

“Linoone, Dig!” Jonathan yelled. Once again, Linoone dug underground, but this time when he burst to the surface again, he was hit hard with a Solorbeam from Delcatty which knocked him out.

“Linoone is unable to battle! Delcatty wins!” Lillian announced.

“Go, Torkoal!” Jonathan yelled, releasing a turtle-like Pokemon. He was red with a coal black shell. When he appeared, he spouted smoke out of his nostrils and the top of his shell.

“Delcatty, Thunderbolt!” I yelled. Delcatty shot a bolt of thunder at Torkoal.

“Torkoal, Flamethrower!” Jonathan yelled. Torkoal shot a Flamethrower at Delcatty, destroying the Thunderbolt and hitting her head on. She doubled back a bit, flinching from a burn inflicted by the fire attack.

“Now, Sludge Bomb!” Jonathan ordered. Torkoal shot balls of toxic sludge at Delcatty.

“Delcatty, Thunderbolt!” I yelled. The Thunderbolt was a bit weaker than usual due to her burn, but Delcatty was able to destroy the Sludge Bomb attack.

“Torkoal, Overheat!” Jonathan yelled. Torkoal shot a strong beam of fire at Delcatty, hitting her head on and knocking her out.

“Delcatty is unable to battle! Torkoal wins!” Lillian announced.

“So, Swampert!” I yelled, releasing my main water/ground-type. “Muddy Water!” Swampert shot a wave of water at Torkoal.

“Torkoal, Iron Defense!” Jonathan yelled. Torkoal retreated into his shell as the wave of muddy water slammed into him. He flew through the air and landed on his back. As he struggled to right himself, I yelled, “Swampert, Earthquake!”

Swampert smashed his fist into the ground, sending seismic waves through the field. They slammed into Torkoal, knocking him out.

“Torkoal is unable to battle! Swampert wins!” Lillian said.

“Go, Weezing!” Jonathan yelled, releasing a round purple Pokemon with two heads. He levitated above the stadium and I knew ground attacks wouldn’t work in this match.

“Swampert, Take Down!” I yelled. Swampert barreled toward Weezing and slammed into him, knocking him back.

“Weezing, Sludge Bomb!” Jonathan said. Weezing shot balls of sludge at Swampert, hitting it head on. Swampert doubled back and flinched from being poisoned.

I frowned. We had to knock out Weezing before the poison activated. Then, I decided since I had a fresh Pokemon left, I could use it and save Swampert the pain of having to battle with poison.

“Swampert, return!” I recalled him and yelled, “Go, Espeon!” I released my main psychic-type to fight Weezing. “Now, Psybeam!” A beam of psychic energy slammed into Weezing, confusing him. As he swayed through the air, dazed, I yelled, “Finish him off with Psychic!” A wave of energy flew through the air, slamming into Weezing and knocking him out.

“Weezing is unable to battle! Espeon wins! Kris, from Pallet Town, Kanto will go on to the finals!” Lillian announced.

Jonathan cursed and stomped out of the stadium. I shook my head.

“Sore loser!” Pikachu yelled. I groaned. I couldn’t take her anywhere, could I?

I watched as Ash and his Corphish defeated a tough Wobbuffet for their last match. Rachel and her Scyther once again pulled off a stunning victory against a Roselia. May’s last contest match of the round was a close one, but her Combusken won out against a Masquerain. Drew and his Flygon defeated another Flygon while Sarah and her Venusaur defeated an Absol.

I exited the stadium after Sarah’s match and started to walk to the restaurant where the Legendary Team was going to meet. A guy about a year older than me with jet-black hair walked up to me. He wore glasses, bit I could tell his eyes were black as night. I shivered. Something about him sent my Shadow radar off.

“Hey, are you Kris Reeves?” He asked me.

“Yes, why?”

“I’m Kirio. I’ll be your opponent in the first match of the finals.”

“Really? Well, good luck!” I said, unnerved by the sense of Shadow energy coming off of him. I walked away quickly, leaving him behind.

I ran to the restaurant, thinking about Kirio. I had sensed so much Shadow energy on him, I had convinced myself he must have been a Cipher admin. But, I had never seen him before.

I quickly forgot about him when I sat down at our table. Ash was laughing about one of his challengers who had used an electric attack on his Phanpy during their match.

“How in the world did he ever win those four leagues?” He asked.

“He must have never faced a ground-type before!” I said, laughing.

I suddenly remembered Kirio and sighed. I couldn’t escape from reality here. The Great War was still going on and after the Grand Conference, it was back to my rigorous training schedule I had been on since the start of the war.

The next day, I faced Kirio on the battlefield. He didn’t have the demeanor of an admin. He looked laid back and he smiled when I walked onto the field. If course, it could have been a trick, so I kept my guard up.

“For our first match of the finals, we have Kris, from Pallet Town, Kanto, against Kirio, from Orre Island, Orange Archipelago. This will be a six-on-six match! Now, send out your Pokemon!” Lillian announced.

“Go, Mightyena!” Kirio yelled, releasing the gray and black dark dog-like Pokemon. He looked strong, but after facing Maxie’s Mightyena for so long, this one looked smaller and weaker. That was my first impression, but I was dead wrong.

“Go, Blastoise!” I yelled, releasing my main water-type.

“Mightyena, Shadow Ball!” Kirio yelled. Mightyena shot a ball of dark energy at Blastoise.

“Blastoise, Hydro Pump!” I yelled. Blastoise shot a wave of water at the dark-type, but the ghost attack deflected the water and slammed into Blastoise. I groaned. It had done considerable damage to him. I had to think of a way to deflect that Shadow Ball attack.

“Blastoise, Hydro Cannon!” I yelled. An even stronger wave of water flew toward Mightyena.

“Mightyena, Hyper Beam!” Kirio yelled. Mightyena shot a beam of energy at Blastoise, destroying the Hydro Cannon and slamming into Blastoise, who bent over in pain. Then, I got an idea.

“Blastoise, Skull Bash!” I yelled. Blastoise rushed toward Mightyena, his head down and ready to slam into him. I knew Blastoise’s defenses were raised when he used Skull Bash.

“Mightyena, Shadow Ball!” Kirio yelled. Mightyena shot a powerful ball of energy a Blastoise.

“Will my plan work?” I wondered as the attack flew toward Blastoise.

 

[Leon Phelps]

Yay, I'm back from my one month hiatus. w00t.

((Don't take my criticism personally but do pay attention to it))

First chapter: I don't want to over-quote you, but you didn't handle any of those battle scenes well. I felt like I was being bombarded with badly described attacks. I think that you would have been better off with one or two battles. I know this was a tournament thing but you could have stretched it out over multiple chapters and had the plot develop along side it or in between scenes. With this, you would have ended up with your readers being entertained with an interesting battle scene because most of your effort was spent in that area. Quality over quantity m'dear.

You did this story in the first person and Kris still has next-to-no personality. She was in a tournament, which obviously took quite a bit of effort to get qualify for, so what in the world was she THINKING? What was she feeling? Your story lacks emotion and depth. I don't care if she's an "angel". She still lived among humans and humans have special traits that make them human and seperate them from Pokemon. Right now, I smell a Mary-Sue.

Chapter 2: Time to over-quote...

The admin shot a beam of dark energy at him, and he dodged. The admin was too fast and slammed into him with a dark punch.

Dark punch? Was he wearing a glove? You need to expand your vocabulary. This is what's holding you back. You recycle the same, tiny, four letter words.

A Pokemon that looked similar to a dog

C'mon. That was just cheesy. I know that you wanted to keep us in suspense but that wasn't handled properly. There are quite a few 'dog' based Pokemon so try describing their fur, color, notable traits, etc.. or try another way of dramatizing.

A pink kitten-like Pokemon

-__- You're killin' me. I personally think that trying to describe Pokemon by saying they look like a [insert random animal here] isn't the right way to go. The Pokemon world doesn't have all of the same creatures our world does so try finding another way to describe, or expand your vocabulary.

A wave of psychic energy flew toward Swellow

Gameboy style. w00t.

This is partially my fault for being late with this review. All you did was repeat your past mistakes by ignoring Yami Ryu. Maybe you need to hear the same thing twice. You have potential but please don't ruin it. Don't give up because I have a feeling that you will surprise me next time. Right?

 

[Nightmare the Scyther]

Okay, I just arrived from vacation like a day and a half ago, so we were really busy, and I just read everything right now. About the "not listening to Yami Ryu" problem, maybe it's just that the way she states her comments that scares chosen and automatically shut out Yami's comments from her mind right after posting a reply. I may not be a psychiatrist (if that's how its spelled...) but I know that if I was writing a story, and someone pointed out my mistakes in a manner like Yami Ryu, I would get scared or angry easily. Of course, that could just be me...And please don't think I'm "sucking up" again. I admit, before I barely said anything but now, I'll start to say more and more.

I won't even bother copying and pasting all the tiny grammar mistakes, but I'll say what's really needed. Leon is right, though. The legnth is really good now, but the description is still pretty much like before. You're doing better than you were in The Quest for Legends, but you still need to describe things more. I'll give a few examples (not in any particular order). And I'm not quoting anything because someone might make me get off the computer soon.

On Blastoise's part, you said he looked like a "blue turtle-like Pokemon". Now, when judjing description, I pretend I know nothing at all about Pokemon besides the fact that it exists. I cleared the image in my head of Blastoise and, upon reading your description, imagined a catapult turle-like creature. It's a four legged green turtle from Yu-gi-oh. It has a dark brown shell with rugged edges and a huge shiny black catapult sticks out of the exact center of it's shell. It's skin looked dry and wrinkled, as does any other turtle's. Of course, I haven't seen a Catapult Turtle in a while, so I'm going by what I remember. Sure, the descriptions don't have to be that long, but see how my description gives you a pretty good image of what it looks like?

On Mew's part, you described him as a "pink cat-like Pokemon". I imagined a little kitten sitting down on the ground swishing it's tail about. It had hot-pink/magenta colored fur, and the tip of it's tail was light pink. It's eyes were a golden-brown color, and it's belly was lighter than the body, but darker than the tail tip. Honestly, that's what came to my head.

On Torkoal's part, you forgot to mention the red hexagon-shaped markings that go around his shell, with a little space in between each one. And you forgot to mention that they glowed when he used Overheat. According to the show, something on the Pokemon (or the Pokemon's whole body) glows first, and then a while later, it shoots a beam of bright yellow and red orange fire out of it's mouth.

The admin and Maxie battle was also described with about the same quality as everything else. You can say something like "The admin's fist glowed a fiery black, as he attempted to punch Maxie. Maxie moved his head to the right a little, but his left cheek was a bit bruised, and it felt like it was just set on fire." Add some excitement. Imagine you're there. Imagine you're the person you're describing. When describing a Pokemon battle, imagine yourself as the trainer itself, and when the trainer gives his/her Pokemon a command, pretend you're the Pokemon and do something like "The Pidgeot reacted to the command before his trainer finished, and, glowing pink, charged forward at an extremely high speed in a Return attack." Or you could say "The trainer looked at his flipped-over Wartortle in horror - his vulnerable belly was exposed. The Salamence dashed down at his opponent with amazing velocity. He was flying so fast, it seemed as if he disappeared. "Wartortle, noooo!" The trainer screamed as his Wartortle attemped to stand up. Wartortle had to act fast, so she shot a Hydro Pump in the air right when Salamence appeared in front of her, hitting the huge scarlet and teal dragon in the left wing, knocking him off balance. He slammed into a wall, while Wartortle slammed her tail into the ground and flipped up onto her hind legs again. Salamence was exhausted, but so was she."

I also would have liked if you described Ash's tournament battles and May's and Drew's contest battles and, earlier of course, their appeals. Stretching out your chapters and adding more detail like Leon said would be a good idea.

Of course, those are just examples and my opinions, but...meh...

 

[Simon Togetic]

Much stronger battle scenes here. Except I really don't like it when people use Safeguard as a Protect attack: that is NOT the way Safeguard works and the anime should respect that. Same goes for Confusion. Finally, Overheat, as you've seen in Colosseum and XD, is not a beam of fire, like in the anime, but a firey charging attack.

As for the 'dark punch' yes that was a bit weak. Put it in capitals if that's the name of the attack, if not describe the punch and/or give the attack name. Also if Maxie's powers were growing, shouldn't he have wiped the floor with that Cipher... as opposed to the deus ex machina 'a legendary Pokemon appears and saves the day'. There are times for deus ex machina stuff liek that, but that wasn't one of them.

Finally I like how you're leaving it a cliffhanger as to whether Kirio is good or bad...

 

[chosen_one386]

Hey guys!

Sorry, it’s been nearly a month since I posted the last chapter! I finished typing it a month ago, but it was deleted and school got in the way. Plus, I got a new computer a few days ago, so I’m now trying to figure out how to work it! Okay, here’s chapter 3!



Chapter 3

The Shadow Ball slammed into Blastoise, but he pushed it back, continuing to rush at Mightyena. He slammed into the dark-type head on, causing him to fly across the stadium and crash into a wall, knocked out.

“Mightyena is unable to battle! Blastoise wins!” Lillian announced.

Kirio recalled his Mightyena and stood there, deep in thought. “Go, Shiftry!” He yelled. A dark/grass-type appeared on the field in front of Blastoise. I frowned with concentration, knowing that a well-aimed grass attack from Shiftry could take Blastoise down. He was really weak after being hit with two Shadow Ball attacks and a Hyper Beam.

“Blastoise, Skull Bash!” I yelled. Blastoise rushed toward Shiftry, but before he could hit him, Shiftry disappeared.

“Faint Attack!” Kirio yelled. Shiftry reappeared again and slammed into Blastoise. His energy was so low, I knew his ability would kick in if we used it to our advantage.

“Blastoise, Hydro Cannon!” I yelled. A wave of water slammed into Shiftry. Blastoise had done considerable damage to him, but his grass nature protected him from being knocked out.

“Shiftry, Bullet Seed!” Kirio yelled. Shiftry shot a Bullet Seed attack at Blastoise, hitting him head on and knocking him out.

“Blastoise is unable to battle! Shiftry wins!” Lillian announced.

“Go, Blaziken!” I yelled, releasing my fire/fighting-type. “Blaze Kick!” I yelled. Blaziken swung a blazing hot kick at Shiftry, who once again disappeared.

Appearing behind Blaziken, Shiftry was about to slam into him when he swung back with a Blaze Kick, knocking him out.

“Shiftry is unable to battle! Blaziken wins!” Lillian announced.

“Go, Crawdaunt!” Kirio yelled, releasing a dark/water lobster-like Pokemon. He had huge claws and glared at Blaziken when he was released.

“Blaziken, Sky Uppercut!” I yelled. Blaziken swung his claws at Crawdaunt, who grabbed his arm and slammed into him with a Crabhammer.

Blaziken was caught off guard and stood back from Crawdaunt. I groaned. Blaziken was mostly a close-combat fighter. He didn’t know any long-range attacks.

“Blaziken, Sky Uppercut!” I yelled. Once again, Blaziken rushed toward Crawdaunt. This time, when Crawdaunt grabbed his arm, Blaziken slammed into him with a Blaze Kick.

Crawdaunt was knocked back a bit. “Crawdaunt, Water Pulse!” Kirio yelled. Crawdaunt shot a Water Pulse at Blaziken, who jumped into the air to dodge the attack. Crawdaunt redirected the attack, hitting him in mid-air. Blaziken crashed to the ground, knocked out.

“Blaziken is unable to battle! Crawdaunt wins!” Lillian said.

“Go, Delcatty!” I yelled, releasing my normal cat-like Pokemon. “Use Thunderbolt!” Delcatty shot a bolt of thunder at Crawdaunt.

“Crawdaunt, Protect!” Kirio yelled. A barrier appeared in front of Crawdaunt, shielding him from the powerful electric attack.

“Delcatty, Solarbeam!” I yelled. The tip of her tail started to glow as she gathered solar energy.

“Crawdaunt, Crabhammer!” Kirio yelled. Crawdaunt slammed into Delcatty hard, knocking her back. She continued to charge the Solarbeam and fired it at Crawdaunt. The attack slammed into Crawdaunt’s Protect defense, stopping it in its tracks.

“Crawdaunt, Water Pulse!” Kirio yelled. Crawdaunt shot a ball of water energy from one of his claws. Delcatty was prepared, though. She hit the attack and Crawdaunt with a Thunderbolt.

“Give it another Thunderbolt, Delcatty!” I yelled.

“Crawdaunt, use Water Pulse, now!” Kirio ordered. Both attacks hit their targets, knocking both Pokemon out.

“Both Pokemon are unable to battle!” This match ends in a tie!” Lillian announced.

We were given a five minute break. I sat on a bench on the field, thinking through my next three Pokemon. Kirio had been using dark-types up until then. I didn’t have any bug-types and my only fighting-type was out, so I’d have to attack other weaknesses. I decided to see what Pokemon he used and attack with a weakness other than for its dark nature. Of course, he could be using different types, so I told myself to keep my strategy varied.

“Break time’s over trainers!” Lillian announced.

I snapped out of the state of deep thought I was in and walked over to my side of the field. Kirio was still standing on his side. He must have stayed there the whole time. He had a thoughtful look on his face and nearly jumped when Lillian announced the break over.

“Both trainers have three Pokemon left! Now, let the match continue!” Lillian said.

“Go, Cacturne!” Kirio yelled. The Pokemon that appeared looked like a combination of a scarecrow and a cactus. He was green with needles covering his arms and legs. His dark eyes unnerved me a bit, but I pulled myself together and chose my next Pokemon.

“Go, Altaria!” I yelled. We had the type advantage and defenses against grass attacks, but I knew Kirio would probably have a strategy against flying-types.

“Cacturne, Sandstorm!” Kirio yelled. Cacturne started to spin around in place, causing the dirt on the field to kick up into a raging sandstorm. The sandstorm surrounded both Pokemon and I lost sight of Altaria.

I looked across the field at Kirio and realized he wouldn’t be able to see Cacturne either, so we were both at a disadvantage. The only thing was that Cacturne was a desert dweller and could see through a raging sandstorm while Altaria could not.

“Altaria, climb out of the storm!” I yelled. Altaria flew straight up and I finally spotted her as she flew above the raging sand. I still couldn’t see Cacturne, but maybe we could stop the sandstorm.

“Altaria, use Sky Attack and spin down into the middle of the storm!” I yelled. Altaria dove into the sandstorm and spun around as she started to glow. The power of the Sky Attack started to push back the sand and finally, the sandstorm subsided.

“Cacturne, Shadow Ball!” Kirio yelled. Before Altaria could stop herself from spinning around, the ghost attack slammed into her. Luckily for us, the attack stopped her head from spinning and Altaria righted herself in mid-air.

“Altaria, Sky Attack!” I yelled. Altaria flew toward Cacturne at top speed, but before she could slam into him, he blocked the attack with a Needle Arm. As she flew backward, she unleashed a wave of dragon energy at Cacturne, knocking him out.

“Cacturne is unable to battle! Altaria wins!” Lillian announced.

“Go, Houndoom!” Kirio yelled. A menacing black canine Pokemon appeared. His snout was red and he had horns on the side of his head. Gray stripes ran down his back and paws and his tail ended in an arrow shape.

“Houndoom, Faint Attack!” Kirio yelled. Houndoom disappeared into thin air. My eyes searched the stadium as Altaria got ready for Houndoom’s attack. Suddenly, Houndoom reappeared once again, slamming into Altaria. She was ready for him, though, and as he attacked her, she slammed into him with a Take Down. Houndoom fell to the ground, landing on his feet before he could crash into the rocky stadium.

“Houndoom, Shadow Ball!” Kirio yelled. A ball of ghost energy flew toward Altaria, who countered with a Dragonbreath. As the two attacks collided, I gritted my teeth, hoping Altaria’s dragon attack would be enough to stop such a powerful ghost attack.

The Shadow Ball overcame Altaria’s attack and slammed into her. I watched in horror as she crashed into the ground, knocked out.

“Altaria is unable to battle! Houndoom wins!” Lillian announced.

I thought for a bit about my next Pokemon. It would have to be able to take a hit or two from both physical and special attacks. Plus, I needed a Pokemon with a type advantage over Houndoom.

“Go, Swampert!” I yelled. Swampert appeared on the field before Houndoom, who growled at the large water/ground-type.

“Swampert, Take Down!” I yelled. Swampert barreled toward Houndoom, but at the last second, he disappeared. A few seconds later, he reappeared and slammed into Swampert with a Shadow Ball attack.

“Swampert, Muddy Water!” I yelled. A wave of water slammed into Houndoom before he could disappear again. I knew we would have to be fast with our attacks. Houndoom was fast and his Faint Attack was trouble for us.

“Swampert, Mud Shot!” I yelled. Swampert shot balls of mud at Houndoom, who countered with a Shadow Ball attack. The ghost attack was once again too powerful to stop and Swampert narrowly dodged it as it flew past him and slammed into a rock.

“Houndoom, Faint Attack!” Kirio yelled. Houndoom once again disappeared. This time, though, when he reappeared to slam into Swampert, he collided with a Take Down from the water/ground-type. Both Pokemon were sent flying and crashed into the ground, knocked out.

“Both Pokemon are unable to battle! Both trainers are down to their last Pokemon!” Lillian said.

“Go, Umbreon!” Kirio said. A black feline-like Pokemon appeared. She had blood red eyes and her tail, ears, and feet were ringed with bright bands that glowed yellow and purple. A ring dotted her forehead as well. I thought for a minute. Umbreon were pretty fast, so how about an equally fast Pokemon to counter one?

“Go, Pikachu!” I yelled. Pikachu ran onto the field and stood across from Umbreon, The two glared at each other, sizing up their opponents.

“Pikachu, Double Team!” I yelled. A group of Pikachu suddenly surrounded Umbreon, who sat in the middle of the ring, cool as ice.

“Umbreon, Hidden Power!” Kirio yelled. Rings of energy surrounded Umbreon as she got ready to attack. With a shriek, she released a beam of energy that slammed into the ring of Pikachu, causing them all to disappear. Before Kirio or Umbreon could react, Pikachu slammed into her with an Iron Tail.

Umbreon was knocked back a few feet, but she gained her footing and raced toward Pikachu. This time, when she tried to hit her with an Iron Tail, Umbreon bit down hard on her tail. Pikachu shrieked and the whole stadium went silent.

I froze and prayed that Pikachu wouldn’t lose her temper this time. My prayers were in vain, though. Pikachu stood rigid on the field. Umbreon let go of her tail and backed away slowly, unnerved by Pikachu’s reaction. Kirio, poor Kirio, didn’t know what was going on. He stood there, frightened and anxious while he watched to see what Pikachu would do.

Pikachu slowly turned around to face Umbreon, rage in her eyes. With a blood curling shriek, she released electric energy into the air and a mighty bolt of thunder slammed into Umbreon. She swayed a bit and collapsed, knocked out.

“And…uh, Umbreon is unable to battle! Pikachu wins! The winner of this match is Kris, from Pallet Town, Kanto!” Lillian said, quite surprised by how the end of the match was carried out.

Kirio walked onto the field to check Umbreon to see if she was alright. I walked into the field and glared at Pikachu, who looked up at me sheepishly.

“She bit my tail,” she said, like that was enough explanation for her actions.

I groaned and shook my head. I walked over to Kirio, who had just recalled his Umbreon.

“Is your Umbreon okay?” I asked him.

He smiled. “She’s okay, she just needs some rest. Your Pikachu is…powerful.”

“That isn’t the word I would use to describe her,” I said, glaring at her.

“Well, that was a great battle! Good luck in your next match!” Kirio said, leaving the battlefield.

I was still confused. Kirio was too nice to be an admin. Maybe my Shadow radar was going out of whack.

As I walked off of the field, Vivian took Lillian’s place on the sidelines.

“Next up is the first finals battle for coordinators! The two coordinators for this are May, from Petalburg, Hoenn, and Marina, form Orre Island, Orange Archipelego! This will be a double battle!” She said.

A girl with long blond hair walked into the field across from May. She had black eyes just like Kirio and I shivered. My Shadow radar was going off again. Was she somehow related to Kirio?

“Go, Arcanine and Raichu!” Marina yelled. A large canine Pokemon with red fur appeared. His red fur was speckled with black and tan streaks and seemed to flow with the wind blowing through the stadium.

The other Pokemon that appeared looked similar to a Pikachu, except she was bigger and had orange fur, big brown ears, and a long black tail with a lighting bolt at the end.

“Go, Squirtle and Combusken!” May yelled. The first Pokemon to appear was a small turtle-like Pokemon. He stood on his hind legs and had blue skin and a curly blue tail. His tan shell was smooth and looked like it had been polished.

The second Pokemon to appear was similar to a chicken. Instead of wings, he had arms with hands and sharp claws. His head and upper body was yellow and the lower part of his body was red. Three red feathers stuck up straight on his head.

“Arcanine, Extremespeed!” Marina yelled. Before May could react, Arcanine slammed into Combusken, knocking him back a few steps. Before Arcanine could attack him again, Squirtle hit him with a Water Gun, knocking him away from the fire/fighting-type. Raichu in turn slammed into Squirtle with a Thunderpunch, sending him flying.

“Combusken, Sky Uppercut!” May yelled. Combusken swung at Raichu with a powerful fighting attack, but the electric-type blocked with an Iron Tail. Meanwhile, Squirtle had landed on his back and couldn’t get up. Before Arcanine could attack him, Combusken helped Squirtle to his feet and slammed into Arcanine.

“Raichu, Thunder!” Marina yelled. The air around Raichu started to crackle as a bolt of thunder flew toward Combusken and Squirtle. Thinking fast, they combined their Fire Spin and Water Gun attacks to deflect the electric attack. Instead of hitting May’s Pokemon, the bolt slammed into Raichu and Arcanine with such force, Arcanine was knocked out. Once again, Combusken and Squirtle combined their attacks and took out Raichu, ending the match.

“Arcanine and Raichu are unable to battle! Combusken and Squirtle win! The winner of this match is May, from Petalburg City, Hoenn!” Vivian announced.

Marina recalled her Pokemon and walked over to May. “That was a great battle! Good luck with the rest of your final matches!” She walked off of the field and I wandered why I was getting readings from her and Kirio. They seemed too nice to be part of the Cipher. What was going on?



“Well, we certainly know she’s got power…” Kirio said. He and Marina had met up back at the stadium’s Pokemon center after Marina’s match. “We’ll watch the rest of the tournament, but we won’t strike until the night of the grand match.”

“Which reminds me, I need to get a dress for the dance…” Marina said. Kirio looked at her quizzically. “Remember, there is a dance after the grand match for the participants in the tournament.”

“Good. That will keep the Chosen One busy enough that she won’t even know what we’re doing there,” Kirio said.

“Whatever. Let’s go see her next match,” Marina said, hurrying out the door with her brother following behind.



Rachel, Ash, and I met up before out next finals match to find out our next opponents. A scoreboard was posted in the Pokemon center, telling us our next opponents. I found my name and looked over at Rachel. We smiled at each other.

“Guess it’s you against me this time,” she said.

“Right, let’s do this,” I said.

“Good luck!” She laughed.

“Thanks! Good luck to you, too!”

A few minutes later, I was on the stadium field facing Rachel, who had put her sunglasses back on. I had to admit, I was a bit nervous facing her after watching her battles in the past few rounds. She was really good, and I mean REALLY good.

“Our next match in the finals will be between Kris, from Pallet Town, Kanto, and Rachel, who is also from Pallet Town, Kanto!” Lillian announced.

Taking off her sunglasses, Rachel threw a Poke ball into the air. “Go, Rhydon!” She yelled. The large ground/rock-type roared after appearing on the field. I thought through my first choice.

“Go, Swampert!” I yelled. My water/ground-type appeared and roared back at Rhydon.

“Rhydon, Rock Blast!” Rachel yelled. A shower of rocks flew at Swampert, who hit the attack with a Mud Shot, causing an explosion of dust and dirt. Through the cloud, I saw seismic waves rushing through the ground. I yelled to Swampert to stop them with an Earthquake. The two waves slammed into each other and cancelled each other out.

“Rhydon, Brick Break!” Rachel ordered. Rhydon’s fist started to glow as he thundered toward Swampert. He countered with a Muddy Water attack, but as the attack flew toward Rhydon, the horn on his head started to spin, pushing the water back. The Megahorn attack also slammed into Swampert, knocking him back.

“Swampert, Mud Shot!” I yelled. Rhydon countered with a Rock Blast, but as he fired the attack, a wave of water slammed into him, knocking him out.

“Rhydon is unable to battle! Swampert wins!” Lillian announced.

“Go, Lapras!” Rachel yelled, releasing the water/ice-type. Even though she was out of water, she looked like she could do some damage even where she was. “Psychic!” Swampert was lifted into the air and I yelled out to him to break free. Before he could do anything, an Ice Beam slammed into him.

He fell to the ground and struggled to his feet. Lapras shot a Hydro Pump at him and he countered with a Muddy Water attack. The two attacks collided, but Lapras’s was stronger and pushed Swampert’s attack back at him. The water slammed into him and knocked him out.

“Swampert is unable to battle! Lapras wins!” Lillian announced.

I groaned. Lapras was too fast to dodge much at all. I would have to use a speedy Pokemon. “Jolteon, go!” I yelled, releasing my electric-type. “Thunder, now!” A bolt of thunder flew toward Lapras, who countered with a Shock Wave. The two electric attacks collided and exploded.

Through the cloud of dust, I spotted Jolteon speeding toward Lapras. She didn’t see him until he slammed into her with a Shock Wave. Before she could react, a bolt of thunder slammed into her. She fell to the ground, knocked out.

“Lapras is unable to battle! Jolteon wins!” Lillian announced.

“Go, Arcanine!” Rachel yelled. The large fire-type appeared on the field and growled at Jolteon, who growled back. “Arcanine, Extremespeed!” She yelled. Before I could react, he slammed into Jolteon, knocking him into the air.

“Jolteon, Bite!” I yelled. Jolteon landed on the ground and flew toward Arcanine. He countered with an Iron Tail, which Jolteon bit. Unlike Pikachu, Arcanine totally freaked out. Leaping around the stadium, he tried to shake Jolteon off. Jolteon held one tight and hit him with a Thunder, letting go of him at the same time.

“Arcanine, Fire Blast!” Rachel yelled. Arcanine shot a fiery wave at Jolteon, who countered with a Thunder, which destroyed the fire attack. It also caused another explosion, which kicked up a large cloud of dust. When it cleared, I noticed Arcanine had vanished! He didn’t stay gone for long, though. The ground underneath Jolteon nearly exploded as Arcanine burst to the surface. Jolteon flew through the air and slammed into the stadium wall, knocked out.

“Jolteon is unable to battle! Arcanine wins!” Lillian announced.

“Go, Blastoise!” I yelled. My main water-type appeared before Arcanine. “Now, Hydro Pump!” I yelled. A wave of water flew at Arcanine, who dodged by once again digging underground. Blastoise got ready to attack at any sight of Arcanine. He burst to the surface a few seconds later and prepared to slam into Blastoise with an Extremespeed attack.

“Blastoise, Skull Bash!” I yelled. The two Pokemon slammed into each other with such force, they knocked each other out.

“Both Pokemon are unable to battle! It’s a tie! Now, for a five-minute break!” Lillian announced.

I met Rachel on the sidelines and smiled, “You’re really good! But, I can’t help but notice you use mostly Kanto Pokemon!”

“Sure do! I like to stick to my home region as much as I can! Besides, aren’t Kanto Pokemon the best?” Rachel asked.

“Sure are!” Pikachu laughed.

“Okay trainers! The break is over!” Lillian announced. “Now, send out your fourth Pokemon!”

“Go, Pidgeot!” Rachel yelled, releasing the normal/flying-type. She flew above the stadium and looked down at me, waiting for my choice.

“Go, Altaria!” I said, releasing my main dragon/flying-type. She flew up to face Pidgeot. “Now, Dragonbreath!” I yelled. Altaria released a wave of energy at Pidgeot. Suddenly, Altaria was surrounded by a whole flock of Pidgeot! She started to hit each one with a Dragonbreath, but as she tried to find the real one, the real Pidgeot slammed into her with an Aerial Ace.

“Now, Toxic!” Rachel yelled. A wave of extremely poisonous air flew through the air toward Altaria. Thinking fast, I told her to blow it back. The air slammed into Pidgeot, poisoning her. As she struggled to stay in the air, Altaria slammed into her with a Sky Attack, knocking her out.

“Pidgeot is unable to battle! Altaria wins!” Lillian announced.

“Go, Thyplosion!” Rachel yelled. The fire-type appeared on the field. Something about him, though, was strange. Then, I noticed the fur on his back was red instead of blue! He was a shiny Pokemon!

“Altaria, Sky Attack!” I yelled. Altaria dove toward Thyplosion, her whole body glowing. Instead of slamming into him, she slammed into a Protect defense. The fire-type spun around and delivered a devastating Mega Kick to Altaria, knocking her out.

“Altaria is unable to battle! Thyplosion wins!” Lillian announced. “What will be Kris’s next Pokemon?”

Yes, I thought, What WILL be my next Pokemon?

 

[Nightmare the Scyther]

Well, this chapter was...GREAT! A nice and lengthy chapter! I knew you'd be getting better over time! I only spotted two tiny mistakes, and I'm sure people could use their common sense to figure out what you really meant...

I groaned. Lapras was too fast to dodge much at all.

I think you mean "too slow".

“Altaria is unable to battle! Thyplosion wins!”

I think it's spelled Typhlosion.

Other than those tiny things, this chapter was great! You're thinking up battle strategies more, and you're descriptions are getting better! We have different writing styles, you and I...I describe too much...because when I write, I imagine I'm writing it for people that are pretty much new to Pokemon...there's nothing wrong with writing for a crowd that should know a lot already...

 

[chosen_one386]

Well, I actually meant Lapras's attacks were too fast to dodge, but you get the idea.

Oh, and I've never been able to spell Typhlosion... Thanks...

Thank you for your support! Chapter 4 up as soon as possible!