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Lethal Elegance (One-Shot)

Ryano Ra

Verdant Vitality
^^

Lethal Elegance was...not exactly what I expected it to be. The message didn't come out as clear as it should have, despite how long this short story is, and basically, I hope that not learning and figuring out what was going on doesn't detract from the entire concept and whatnot. Also, the war was not fleshed out, let alone, even described for various of reasons, the main one being that I plan to do so in Serpent of the Sky / Eyes of the Python, and so, please do not be expect. But, the whole idea revolves around the end, and hopefully, there will be people who can understand.

If you are confused about the message, you might want to check out one of my previous one-shots I wrote in the past (now in my signature), The Fairy-Tale Sea. That delivers the message in a more shorter length -- this is the same, but is also introducing the Jade Clovers and a mention of the Dagger Rockets (the new and improved Team Rocket -- they are not seen in this story, only mentioned. Do not get your hopes up) Also, for the individuals who read the Eyes of the Python preview, realize that yes, this is from it. However, I did not like how this was taking the approach of Eyes and I've already written a Prologue and four different chapters for Eyes, so I didn't want this beginning part to be completely thrown away.

Enjoy -- if there's anything wrong (especially when it comes to delivering the message of the entire fanfiction) please aware me as soon as you can.

Lethal Elegance
MOONLIGHT. Thunderclaps exploded and rumbled across the darkened heavens, snapping and clapping as they hungrily devoured the gentle breezes of the shivering wind. Malicious miasmas blanketed the deepened skyline of black, dark-cobalt, and slate gray, radiant and illuminated in their malevolent infinity. Lit up in a flickering, cold blaze of white fire, the full moon cradled itself high within the dying sky above. Motionless golden stars were scattered across the blackened field of sanctity, while the verdant blades of grass below swayed together and moved in harmony to the mountain’s symphony.

The atmospheric boundaries between souls and life were shielded by dusk, and would wait patiently for the horizon to reflect and mirror their true passion. The lively concerto suddenly subsided, leaving everything to be silenced and slumbering under moonlight.

A sweetened, seductive voice spoke out, breaking all tranquility and shattering the road to a peaceful night. It echoed through the air as bullets of shining blue rain started to fall down upon the mountainous vicinity. The emerging tempest coincided beautifully with the malignant tone of the words, filling in the hallow gaps and allowing the clarity to bloom.

The target is starting to flee. Move ahead with thunderous speed.

As the sudden command was swallowed by the sound of the downpour, loud thumps of foot against earth started to join the sonata. A sudden silhouette accelerated forward, speeding under the shades of the wild trees. It sped with sheer grace, glowing emerald as it launched an arm ahead and blasted through the thickness of the distance. Gleaming eyes were focused forward, glinting and vigilant as features blessed its appearance.

The Sceptile was indeed the enigma of adventures, quickening her pace before coming to a complete halt. She was growing irate and hungry, for her quarry had taken a huge step ahead of her once amazing, life-threatening pursuit. Contemplating under darkness, she slashed the wind with her right claw and released the only sound that the world would recognize as wrath.

She roared. It was a feral, vicious shriek that rolled and thundered from east to west, north to south. It carried on for what seemed with a dear eternity as the Sceptile listened to the rustles coming from the berry bushes to her left.

The target is escaping. Listen carefully to the heartbeats and the breathing.

Letting luminescent glows cast before her, the grass beast nodded silently and jumped into the high atmosphere. She allowed the chilled zephyrs to twist and twirl around her figure, carrying her into the heart of the jungle. Sceptile imperfectly landed on one of the tree’s thick branches, leaping from one to the next. She could sense that her prey was getting more and more exhausted as the seconds washed away forever. Sceptile could be heard from miles away, her figure shifting through the sleeping leaves and crackling undergrowth.

Releasing one last shrilly cry, she plummeted to ground like an emerald bullet, succeeding in her mission to find the monster that had needed to dance in his death. With the emerald pasture stretching for miles and miles, the open grassland only held two presences within its divine vicinity – the Sceptile and the wild Umbreon. Vision met vision, heartbeats banged in their bodies like loud drums, and their thoughts were spotlighted on each other.

The wild Umbreon was a skilled creature of blackness, melting into its affinity and reappearing at any given time selected. However, the Sceptile only needed to find him, for her trainer was only seconds away from continuing the fascinating assassination. Sceptile leapt into the air, shrieking and roaring as she started glowing and absorbing the moon’s light. Her eyes were wide open and crazed as a slim, dark figure spontaneously crossed overhead, elegant and mysterious.

It all seemed like a medieval fantasy, only with reality blended in to perfect the acts and make them seem realistic. The new otherworldly essence drifted in, allowing the white radiance to bless the woman and reveal her hiding details.

Paris had arrived.

Paris Shavada had barely saw the sunrise to adulthood, but it was a successful view that allowed her to leave the childhood days behind in her reminiscences. Landing on the grassy surface with a white, steel sheath resting behind her back, she stood up and faced the wild malicious fiend, smirking and grumbling. She moved forward, allowing her jade eyes to be revealed once swinging strands of black and dark-purple hair toward her backside. Her slender, considerably tall figure stood triumphantly as her Sceptile plunged to the verdant terrain that slept before her.

Instantly, the wild Umbreon sprinted forward towards the Sceptile, a bright light following her every zigzagging moment as she thrashed the jungle beast’s body. Paris fled the emerged battle scene, hiding herself well within the distance behind them. Wearing a goldenrod-silver belly shirt with a jade leather jacket, that ended towards her smooth stomach, along with black jeans and emerald heels, Paris was displaying to the entire world that she was apart of the Jade Clovers.

A small, clover-shaped tattoo was planted on her lower belly as green-transparent shades were then placed over her eyes. She was watching the skirmish from afar, wanting to communicate with her Sceptile through a different plain.

“Sceptile, counter with Solarbeam!”

Sceptile heard the words ring in her mind, and she immediately grabbed onto the Umbreon, swinging and tossing him away from her. Concentrating on her powers, the dinosaur-like beast sprung herself into the midair, the jagged divisions on her lower arm extending outward and enveloped in a radiant, frosty emerald gleam. The Umbreon started to escape from the brawl, but it was too late; Sceptile roared with all of her might, opening her mouth and allowing the hot, glass-golden beam of sunlight to spew out. Tunneling and spiraling down towards the jungle, the grass monster rapidly spun around and bulleted behind her assault, golden eyes watching the movement of the moonlight feline.

The Solarbeam attack traced the staggering, uneven paths the wild Umbreon was creating upon the grass, his momentum slightly increasing with each powered step upon the surface below. Angered, Sceptile suddenly started swinging at the scorching sunbeam with her glowing segments, slicing and dicing the ray and splitting it into a thundershower of gold light.

Roaring and screeching, Sceptile neared the wild Umbreon and slashed him, pushing him out of her range and sending him smashing into a nearby tropical tree. The darkness cat went screaming and whimpering in sheer agony, unable to avoid the steaming bullets of light that struck her skin with each passing second. Finally, the Umbreon managed to regain his loss of strength and stood dark-eyed and power-hungry in front of the dinosaur-like reptile. He started gathering the essences of the unkind, forming a ghastly, violet-colored sphere in the center of his open maw.

“Wait for the attack, then fight back with Dragonbreath!”

Sceptile took the command, impatiently waiting for the Umbreon’s Shadow Ball to be released. A few seconds withered away, and the electrical, expanded orb of wraithlike power had been formed and shot out towards the grass reptile. The sphere whistled and carved meandering paths under the heavens above, finally swooping around Sceptile before striking her from the back.

She staggered forward, brushing the assault off of her and immediately taking quick aim at the feline-like monster. A crackle of fire was heard in its sheer simplicity, breaking all of the noise and catching the Umbreon’s attention. Instantaneously, a rolling of tongue of draconic and teal flames erupted from Sceptile’s mouth, soaring across the field of pasture and blasting the feral Umbreon directly in his face. The moonlight cat was pushed within the far distance of the jungle, placing a malignant grin upon the reptile’s once blissful face.

“Sceptile, finish him off with a Leaf Blade!”

The monster’s sharp, bladed leaves that were connected to the back of her arms suddenly burst into a frosty emerald gleam. The ends outstretched themselves into the formation of jagged swords as she went after the wild Umbreon. The reptile weaved staggering paths around the green shrubbery and trees and wild-berry bushes, eyes focused upon his everlasting movements.

She roared, leaping forward and swiping the dark beast from the right side, ramming him into old bark nearby. Thorns were scattered upon the deceased trunk, and the backside of the wild Umbreon was stabbed and jabbed like a million daggers driven into his body. His hide split like old parchment, blood seeping through the trail to the outside world, thick and traveling in a fine, red river. The Umbreon screamed in agony, but it was only seconds later that his mouth was met by the deadly slash of Sceptile’s grass blades.

The swift reptile wasn’t a fan of agonizing assassinations, and preferred her enemies to drown in a silent, black infinity of fatality. It had been several weeks that her and Paris had been searching for this Umbreon, and now, he was taking his last breaths before his soul would be devoured by the Void.

Bloodstained and rotting, the fresh carcass was as motionless and feeble as a newborn fish jumping upon the top of a mountain without proper air and water. Paris arrived only a few minutes later, watching as her Sceptile was cleaning the entire scene. A sinister smile reflected the deep passion and wonderful view she was now witnessing as the grass monster rested by her very side. She closely examined the cadaver of the wild Umbreon and slightly flinched, terrified of whether she’d get to it first or if a Pokémon would beat her to the punch.

She moved ahead and towered over what used to be a precious, living beast, allowing her malicious shadow to waltz upon him. “Nice work, Sceptile. I bet his master will be crying out a symphony of whines and tears, but it doesn’t matter. We win, you gain power, I deliver the goods to the Master, he loses, and the Umbreon dies. All in all, time was not wasted, for when the sun comes up, we’ll continue our purpose and find the Persian of Exodius,” Paris announced, a spice of malevolence blossoming in the darkened, exotic tone of her voice.

Sceptile remained silent, eyes fixed on what used to be a wanderer under the moon. The female assassin watched as jade leaves showered over the scene, dappled sunlight streaming through the open gaps and playing across the vicinity’s field. Pathways of sparkles zoomed around, carving glittering paths throughout the tainted air as the sweet smell of berries and strawberries were instantly devoured by the stench of blood and a lifeless host.

Carefully, the swift reptile took a step forward and picked up the deceased Umbreon, noticing her trainer starting to leave at a considerably rapid pace. Working her legs in green blurs, she burst into a sprint and went after the lady, throwing the feeble body upon the flat surface on her tail’s center and quickening her momentum. Sceptile adored her trainer with a deep passion, feeling the malignant vibes of her emotions and thoughts towards modern people who were to think of themselves as better than the rest.

Sceptile realized that the main key as to why Paris Shavada sacrificed her precious adulthood was to protect those who believed that the world was only made for those who saw everything as unique and equal. Otherwise, she wanted to watch as the dying victims would dance in their river of blood, or roaring in the ocean of death, or perhaps witnessing the black light that comes before a sword is pierced and carved around their spine.

Paris came to a sudden halt, looking back and waiting for her Sceptile to catch up. Together, they strode out of the jungle, forwarding towards the gleaming radiance of light blue and jade. It was where her home was, where the Headquarters existed, and where the gift was to be given to her Master. It was the beautiful surrounding where the Jade Clover Mansion rested, housing the secret organization in their pinnacle of assassinations, training, and achievements.

Paris’s head of black and dark-purple hair cascaded down her backside, flapping against it as a gentle rising zephyr rushed past from behind. The light blue sky was a contrast against the green infinity below, mirroring what the heavens once sketched millenniums and eras ago. Ethereal essences and souls drifted within the jungle as their wraithlike bodies floated around before being hungrily swallowed by the shifting distance.

Most would have recognized the scenery as a lively dream, awakening before their eyes as they slept through the night. It was reality’s spices of ginger and cinnamon that intertwined the two forces of realistic measures and the plains of the supernatural.

Sceptile looked down behind her, eyeing upon the eternally sleeping carcass that rested peacefully upon her tail. Paris wanted to carry it over her left shoulder, but the reptile offered her help and the assassin refrained from doing such a thing. Paris would have been blissful for completing the mission, but the one that really counted was around the corner, and she didn’t have any time to waste. Slowing down her usually swift pace, she managed to notice how the pink petals were dancing in the light drafts before falling to the grass below.

A whistling concerto could be heard from miles away, collaborating with the thunderous drums and heavy stomps of foot against earth. She felt like an entirely new person to the world, missing out upon the wonders life could possibly bring, but was given a second chance.

Paris enjoyed her current lifestyle and the way time moved in her control, but sometimes, she wanted to just sit back and relax, just for one day. And although she was indeed seductive and divine, she dared to hold a steady relationship with modern men, excluding the ones within the Jade Clovers. They were the most independent, strongest, and intelligent gentlemen she had ever met before, and knew that one was going to be hers when she’d retire being a Clover.

Exploring through the flamboyant jungle of sacredness, Paris walked up and slightly laughed. She felt like a private detective, spying on one of her friends in the tropical rainforest. Sceptile followed her every action and concluded that she was developing romantic feelings, but all was washed away in an instant second when the angered calls from faraway echoed around. They were wild, primeval shrieks that could shatter glass or twist a sunshine, balmy day into a showering tempest. Paris and Sceptile knew that the time had come.

“Let’s go on and move out – he is arriving!” she ordered. The monster roared in response, sprinting forward and disappearing into the luminescent distance. Paris sinisterly grinned, running after her Sceptile in an orderly fashion and allowing herself to enter a whole new world.

The war was nearing – the shields were up, the swords were clashing, the assassins were dancing, and the felines were singing. The opportunity was approaching.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +​
The Jade Clover Palace was a majestic beauty, stretching from east to west and ending in the drifting red hazes in the vastness. It was a combination of Japanese and Australian architecture, bamboo roofing sweeping across the mansion’s sky-height level. Scintillating clovers were perfectly painted upon the outer walls while the intertwining of green and red blossomed and came into perfect view, splayed and sprayed around the plant shapes.

An otherworldly essence twisted and twirled around the edges of the palace, illuminating its fantastical splendor. A variety of poison-spitting snakes and pythons slithered upon the wet, glittering blades of grass before disappearing into the depth of the tropical rainforest. Above the arcane manor was the field of the heavens that split the world between the benevolent and the malevolent. Paris gradually sauntered ahead, returning her reptilian beast inside of her red and white spheroid.

Dragging a blood-soaked bag upon the moist pasture, the lady came to a complete halt as she was standing before the great golden doors that would lead her inside of the fortress. Her emerald eyes vigilantly shot from left to right, observing the disturbance in the sacred surrounding.

Knives dug into the tree-bark’s core, ripping and carving through as silver daggers of the night were scattered across the multicolored leaves that showered down towards earth. Other Jade Assassins joined her in the vicinity, readying themselves for what might make history in their assassination records. Some were sharpening their blades, while others were waltzing with practicing with one another. Shields were being placed on rooftops to hide the shooters; others were hiding upon branches, taking more of an aerial approach. Everything was a maelstrom of activity, but it was one distinct noise that captured all of Paris’s attention.

The pitching screams of anguish returned to the atmosphere, echoing through the skies and the wind as Paris glanced ahead of her, reaching for the steel knocking plate. She lightly slapped it against the doors, and when the sound was successfully heard by the existences inside, they shifted apart and granted her access. The roars were much larger at that point, and the female executive assassin knew that something had just gone corrupt. She immediately recognized the voice as her Master’s and forwarded, slamming the entrances shut behind her.

All of the collision of weapons, the sounds of triumphant cries, and the stir of movements were eventually deafened.

“Something must be wrong, and things just get so better when our Master gets angry and frustrated. One more time, and I’ll easily send him to Havigma by ripping his forehead apart with a deep passion. Modern people and their dependency on one another – it is so sickening, it makes me want to vomit blood and honey,” Paris muttered while entering the dangerous territory.

“Or perhaps you want to vomit blood and honey because of how dark you are, which makes me attracted to you even more, my lady. Master isn’t here, for it is I that was calling of the anger he had before he left. He seemed rather furious, despite the fact that at any particular second, the Dagger Rockets could be arriving,” spoke a masculine, smooth voice.

Paris’s body temporarily froze, taken back by the rich, velvety tone of the words, as they were being spoken and traveling through the air to be heard by all. The executive turned around, feeling a dark shadow creeping upon her backside and chilling her spine. It was none other than the distinct physique of Nalvez Valentine, combined with the skyscraping, towering figure of his Tyranitar.

Dark auburn and reddish-orange strands of hair ended at his neck, interweaving and entwining with one another. His caramel skin tone was blessed by sunlight, bringing out his round, frosty sea-green eyes among all of his other significant features. Muscles rippled from mostly every part of his frame; his upper body was slightly revealed, an unbuttoned green shirt flapping against his chest and abdominal midsection. Emerald boxers covered up his lower half under the bellybutton, rising up from his dark-blue jeans.

Just like Paris, a clover-shaped tattoo was drawn upon the lower half of his stomach, which indicated that he was also a member of the Jade Clovers. His great beast looked down at what the woman was carrying, and rushed over to retrieve the goods. Afterwards, with ferocious feet stomping thunderously upon the black marble floor, the Tyranitar quickened his pace and disappeared into the darkness ahead. Within a matter of seconds, not a single trace of his appearance was around, the stamping of foot against earth echoing and trampling behind his momentum.

Nalvez walked up to Paris and grinned, folding his arms while he examined her with his perfect vision. The lady felt a bit uneasy, feeling the man’s cold shadow dancing upon her. He then backed away, shaking his head with disdain.

“Paris, you have done excellently well. You excelled in the assassination and completed it rather silently and quickly, which was something that I hoped you’d do. Master Taedro wanted me to inform you that you now have a more complex and complicated assessment to complete while we are warring with the Dagger Rockets, and I must say that it is nothing that he would have put any of us against,” Nalvez reported.

Paris knew that something serious was about to happen in the near future, and she wanted to know whom she had to kill and why so soon. She bowed of her great compliment from the second executive of the Clovers, knowing she had proven herself worthy of more difficult and exciting missions. But, she wondered what exactly did Master entrust her to do while he was out surveying places they could take over.

“What assessment do you speak of? Has he decided who will be killed in the Royalty Chain? We’ve been discussing this for months now, but why the hell would I need to do that today? We are supposed to be preparing for the war to claim supremacy and eliminate their existence, so why leave the war?” Paris questioned.

“That is because he isn’t talking about the Royalty Chain. He is coming back within a few days, and expects to see one of the greatest beasts in our possession. One of the recent Clovers who left, in which I can’t remember whom, has informed him that Entei will be arriving to try to stop the war. As to how this legendary knows what is going on is a mystery, but that is the whole entire purpose of this wild battle – the Dagger Rockets know of Entei’s appearance and planned to capture him using their secret weapons,” Nalvez swiftly answered.

Before the lady could respond, the thickened silhouette of the Tyranitar returned, steadily accelerating toward the entrances. He slackened his pace greatly, coming to a complete halt next to his trainer. The olive monster shrieked, his voice waltzing through the raptors of malevolence and thinning as it reached the sweeping roof above. Paris suddenly looked behind her, noticing a large shadow coming into a flawless view. The bulky frame of her Nidoqueen tore through the whispering obscurity, moving ahead at a considerable velocity.

The poisonous jungle-beast roared, delighted to see her trainer. The female assassin’s once malicious feelings, filled with a spice of malignant mirth, was lightening up to a more angelic appearance. She seemed rather filled with happiness, like she had been drugged several times with dreamy ecstasy. Nalvez watched with nefarious glee, not feeling the need to break the love and bond between man and Pokémon. However, the anticipation of a grand skirmish was flowing through his blood, and knew that her skills needed to be tested at any time.

“Master also told me that I should assist you in any way possible, so I gathered information about Entei. That legendary is more like the Eye of the Storm – he will appear before anybody or anything can be done. Legendaries are intelligent, and will try to stop things before they commence in order to bring peace about, despite the fact that Entei’s the more malicious one of the Beasts. So, should we allow our Pokémon to roam the jungle to try and locate him?” he questioned with a taste of strong-hearted authority.

She felt the black fire flare her heart, and she faced him again while her Nidoqueen backed away. She was still stunned that a legendary would be involved in this fighting tempest.

“I’m not so sure. If they locate Entei, he will most likely attack them – he knows of our intentions and plans, trust me. We need to be more focused on the Dagger Rockets, for when they come, the legendary will be arriving shortly after. You and I can then assassinate from the jungle, luring some of the them away from the war and taking them down easily using your Kabutops and Tyranitar and my Nidoqueen and Sceptile,” Paris commanded.

The male executive bowed down, kneeling onto one knee and holding his hands in a prayer-like position. He then got up, kissing the formation and reaching for his gold sheath. “All ears are listening.”

“First and foremost, we need to be looking for the Rocket’s Arbok and Golduck. Knowing them, they will be wandering the jungle, and they are powerful when used in a group. If we can get the war starting in the jungle against their Pokémon, we can lure Entei in and make the capture without any of the Rockets knowing. We won’t be able to use any kind of Pokéballs, so we’ll need to seriously gang up on it and see what happens,” Paris began.

She knew that this was definitely going to be a bit uneasy, but loved the challenge of all of her assignments. “We have a lot to focus on – Entei, the Dagger Rockets, and protecting as many Clovers as we can. We cannot afford to lose as many as the dead Rockets, for we will weaken as a whole. I planned on locating the Persian of Exodius, one of the leaders of the Dagger Rockets, but it seems as when I carry a whole new assessment, I’m looking at this from a new perspective. Most definitely, he will use his Persian and if my Sceptile can find and kill her, then bringing Entei and luring him in will be a piece of cake. Like I’ve always said – water is thin, sand is smooth, fire is hot, and death is everything else. If all fails, then the assassination will be my request for forgiveness.”

“The oceans will laugh and the sky will rip apart in his dreams.
Falling, bleeding, dying, and drowning under sunlight’s beams.
The symphony of fatality will dance and play to heighten the zing.
Hear the shrieks of the cries, and hear the Persian sing.”​
Everything came to a sudden silence, like an eerie calm before the storm. A strange song could be heard from outside, thickened with a feline accent. It was a haunting symphony of notes that was able to manipulate the minds of humans, though it wasn’t being sung for that purpose. Curious about what had happened outside, Paris and Nalvez blasted the doors open and looked upon what was such a legacy event. There, attracting all of the attention of the assassins and knights, were a clan of Persian.

They crowded together and appeared like a graceful blur of creamy beige, moving in harmony that would have been portrayed as a hypnotic movement. The assassinators didn’t know whether to attack the feline tribe or send their Pokémon to do the work. Paris and Nalvez smirked, knowing that the war had begun once the felines scampered back into the darkness, returning to their respective owners.

The lady then realized that there was a huge silhouette standing atop of a mountain. She was temporarily staring in amazement and knew that the time had come for her to follow through with the plan. She grabbed one of her spheroids and released her Sceptile, managing to catch the attention of Nalvez.

“What the hell are you about to do?” he asked.

Firmly, her eyes narrowed down and glared directly at the male assassin, somehow sending chills up his spine. Never had he seen such a devilish woman. “Stay here and help the Jade Clovers with the war; I’m going directly after Entei. I know that despite all we have been planning, Master only told me to do this and that’s how it should be done. Farewell!”

And with those last single words, she directed for her Sceptile to move along into the vast jungle ahead. The reptilian beast nodded, leaping into a tree and disappearing within its forest-green vortex. Paris simply sprinted ahead, hearing the desperate call of Nalvez and a few other assassins to wait and help them first. Though, her heart was calling for her to enter the vicinity and take down what needed to be hers.

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The distinct smell of ash and fire swallowed the clean, cold air of the east, burning the atmosphere and scorching the smooth texture of the afternoon skyline. Dark smoke, sand, and soot stirred together and erupted in the far distance, choking the oxygen and leaving everything to follow the pathway to Death. Even so, it managed to somehow capture a nondescript beauty that would have fascinated all eyes witnessing the powerful event – a kind of divinity in which many will never see.

He is aware of the future, and remembers all of the past.

Nature was intertwined in the thickened course of a war; the skirmish was bending and twirling wildly, like a virus would when devouring souls filled with triumph and pride. The grass had been shades of brown and yellow, stiff and desperate for the cerulean water that would bring their once swaying bodies back to life. The symphony of cries, horror, and disbelief played itself so beautifully and lively – it reminded one particular individual of heaven’s requiem.

The fiery pathways of his rage lead to volcanoes.

Standing atop the end of a mountainous terrain was a strong-hearted woman that had once believed that everything would return to a heavenly balance. She stood there as tranquil and observant as ever; looking upon what Life was starting to become – a cataclysmic situation. Her jade eyes reminded people of a verdant meadow, while her dark-colored hair took the vision of the black, shadowy night. Her body was that of an assassin, glistening with its light-skinned complexion.

Paris rested her gaze in the clouded distance, watching very carefully. Her ears started to listen, sucking in every sound that emitted from each and every explosion. She heard something howling.

Blazing paws will forever scorch the earth.

Before she turned away to flee, the glimpse of a pink radiance caught her attention and drew her deeper into the midst of the eruption. Its essence brought to her the majesty of a Goddess, fighting with all of her unlimited strength. It slowly rose from the blackened obscurity, eyes drawn down in malicious confidence.

Never in her life had Paris seen the Mother of Creation so furious, holding an expression that was not rightfully hers. Just taking once solid look at the faerie made her want to join her in the battle, even if it meant sacrificing her life in order to protect her. She gritted her teeth in agitation and frustration, two difficult emotions that could toss any other and drive one into the world of hate and wrath.

His scorching strength can thrash any kingdom, any person.

Paris bucked her eyes wide open, realizing that the graceful faerie was holding a one of a kind, a weapon that was valuable and held the legends of a lifetime. There, firmly gripped in the small hands of Mew, was a bloodstained sword. The long, gold blade was dripping in fresh blood, while stains of the past wars were forever scarred upon its once reflecting surface. The ruffling handle had been through enough, burning the hands of unfortunate individuals that could not operate its true force. Paris was shocked and stunned, taking a few steps back.

What started of finding Entei lead to her stumbling on a more amazing beast. The legendary looked like a fallen angel that rose from the depths of the Void, a dark-hearted legend that was ready to reclaim everything she had lost. And now, floating with the gift that her God had given her, she began to float in the direction of Paris.

He has a true heart and a true gift, and nobody shall claim it.

Paris knew that something was terribly wrong, but she couldn’t describe exactly what was going on. The Dagger Rockets apparently reached Clover ground and the war had begun a long while ago, but there was something else going on in the large jungle. The faerie seemed weak and worn out, completely tired from battling for what could have been days and days.

She steadily went for one of the red and white spheroids that was attached to a black necklace around her neck, and tossed it in the air with the elegance of a Champion.

A white beam of light was released within, and as the orb floated back into the palm of Paris’s hand, a draconic monster burst from the brilliant gleam. The beastly frame of Salamence landed on the plain’s edge, looking deeply into the heart of the great mêlée. Paris felt a lot safer with her dragon by her side, for they were destined to be alongside one another, soaring toward the sunrise and roaring under the sunset. She had left Sceptile to roam the southern grounds of the tropical paradise, ordering her to fight against the many Golduck and Arbok that wandered the area.

However, she shared a more powerful connection with her Salamence. Destiny was their one and only blessing, and Fate placed them together like Yin and Yang. Calmly, the woman walked over toward Salamence and hopped on her back, just after allowing her to spread her sharp, scarlet wings.

“Ra’ir, rise into the air.” Her command was hard and firm, but the message was as comforting and soothing like it was clearly spoken.

Ra’ir obeyed her trainer’s orders and levitated herself off of the higher grounds, listening to the steady heartbeat of the war that never flinched to cease. Paris and her Salamence felt themselves entering a new boundary in life, but were solely focused on the Goddess forwarding. Ra’ir was indeed surprised that Mother dared to possess a weapon that could guard her life, as well as end it.

“Why must Mother hold an item that is dangerous?” Her question was not to be answered, but was to be critically considered. While never allowing her gaze to leave off of the pink faerie of the heavens, Paris looked down and heard a deepened, crazed roar.

It was piercing, though bleeding with a triumphant call that attracted her attention. The sky was a dusty gold, writhing and swirling while emerald light shined in the twisting vortex. The auburn lion escaped from the war’s tempest, waltzing his way toward the crags with the ferocity of a jungle beast. He then swiftly turned his head around and breathed out a spinning tornado of white and red fire, blending together and traveling in a straight path. The flamboyant combustion disappeared into the rash, adding flames into the storm and bringing about faded-scarlet glows.

He is the God of Dreams – he is Entei.

Paris found one factor strange, and that was not a single body was noticeable. By the time she took her stare off of the legendary beast, Mew had been right in front of her. She wanted to start crying; for Mew was hurt – scars were littered all over her body and the expression of pain now masked her face. Worried, she began to speak to the Goddess, knowing that something had gone wrong.

“My Goddess, what is wrong?” her voice was stumbling and frightened, but Mew understood what she inquired of her. She sighed, blinking her eyes twice and looking back at the growing catastrophe. She then focused back on the lady, looking straight into her eyes. She had found who Entei was after.

“Everything is wrong. The legendary Entei has been warring for days, and he is out to look for you. The God of Dreams he is – yes, what an almighty power to have – has opposed you with one single question. Think over it and tell me.”

There was indeed anger hiding in each and every one of her words, though Paris dared to bring it into the conversation. She paused for a second, fumbling with the response in her head. Paris collected her words and continued speaking. “What is the question, Mew?”

“The question is, do you want to take back your goal of capturing Entei or do you want to continue? I am not involved in your decision, but realize that anything can happen. You might capture Entei, you might not; you might assassinate him, you might not; you might be able to escape while you can, or it might be too late.”

Despite how much she wanted to please the Goddess, Paris was not intimidated whatsoever. She roamed the jungle for one reason and knew she could fulfill anything if she had her Pokémon by her side. Legendaries were not to be under the possession of any human being, but she did not care about the godly rule – it was meant to be broken eventually. “I’m sorry, but I choose to continue what I came here to do—”

Sky titled earth as Paris suddenly found herself falling toward the ground, no help. Everything was a sudden blur, a dark divinity that was bleeding with fatality and tainted hearts. She could not see anything except the Entei, noticing the auburn lion meeting her malicious gaze. She tried to scream, but her voice was as mute as a silent feline hunting for quarry. Salamence had somehow been returned back into the orb, and the Goddess disappeared. The maelstrom of flames and ash continued their burning symphony, and Paris was slammed onto the ground before watching a shadow waltz across her body.

She took one single moment to think before pulling out her gun—

(She doesn’t know what she has done, but plans to ride with her decision. She knew that the circumstances were about to change, and wondered of her future. It was too late to take back her answer, but not too late to defend herself and complete the assassination. The odds were going to be on her side, no matter the outcomes.)

—after watching the blazing paw of the legendary burn under the sunlight.
 
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Kiyohime

Well-Known Member
All hail Serpent Syra, the Dragon King of Description. *salaams*

My absolute favorite part was when the Sceptile leapt into the sky and landed on the branches as it tracked the Umbreon, and the ending was very excellent too. I notice you've gotten really good at one thing--introspection. The ending stopped on a fantastic note, with that small interlude of thought.

Bravo, old friend. Can't wait to see Serpent of the Sky. ^^
 

Ryano Ra

Verdant Vitality
Scrap said:
All hail Serpent Syra, the Dragon King of Description. *salaams*

My absolute favorite part was when the Sceptile leapt into the sky and landed on the branches as it tracked the Umbreon, and the ending was very excellent too. I notice you've gotten really good at one thing--introspection. The ending stopped on a fantastic note, with that small interlude of thought.

Bravo, old friend. Can't wait to see Serpent of the Sky. ^^
^^

Thank you very much for the review, Scrap -- it is definitely appreciated coming from a wonderful author like yourself. I really liked the ending, even though I thought I could have done justice to the last particular section with the conversation with Mew and Paris's decision. Also, there's actually one main reason why I ended the story in such a fashion as it did, because I didn't actually want to describe her dying. It was more like, "Letting the readers decide that for themselves." kind of thing.

Ooohh, and thank you for the compliment concerning the introspection. I want to excel in more than just description, and so, I'm writing these short story to explore different areas of writing and genres, seeing which others I can be comfortable with. Oh, and the beginning was by far my favorite part -- I absolutely love that Sceptile.
 

The Great Butler

Hush, keep it down
Brilliant, simply brilliant. (applauds)

This fic really is just about perfect. The description of the scenery is flawless---I felt as if I was right there watching. The story was solid, too. And of course, I love a Salamence appearance wherever I can get it.

(gives some Butler Empire cake)
 

Bay

YEAHHHHHHH
Hello Seperent Syra! I read the whole thing and I thought it is really good! Really loved the description! Anyways, here are some things I liked and some things that needs correction.

The monster’s sharp, bladed leaves that were connected to the back of her arms suddenly burst into a frosty emerald gleam. The ends outstretched themselves into the formation of jagged swords as she went after the wild Umbreon. The reptile weaved staggering paths around the green shrubbery and trees and wild-berry bushes, eyes focused upon his everlasting movements.
Liked the description of Leaf Blade.

She roared, leaping forward and swiping the dark beast from the right side, ramming him into old bark nearby. Thorns were scattered upon the deceased trunk, and the backside of the wild Umbreon was stabbed and jabbed like a million daggers driven into his body. His hide split like old parchment, blood seeping through the trail to the outside world, thick and traveling in a fine, red river. The Umbreon screamed in agony, but it was only seconds later that his mouth was met by the deadly slash of Sceptile’s grass blades.
Man, and I thought Pokemon cannot die by the attacks. You have proven me wrong!


Bloodstained and rotting, the fresh carcass was as motionless and feeble as a newborn fish jumping upon the top of a mountain without proper air and water. Paris arrived only a few minutes later, watching as her Sceptile was cleaning the entire scene. A sinister smile reflected the deep passion and wonderful view she was now witnessing as the grass monster rested by her very side. She closely examined the cadaver of the wild Umbreon and slightly flinched, terrified of whether she’d get to it first or if it a Pokémon would beat her to the punch.
I am confused with the if it a Pokemon part. Maybe you were suppose to say “or a Pokemon would beat her to the punch”?

Carefully, the swift reptile took a step forward and picked up the deceased Umbreon, noticing her trainer starting to leave at a considerably rapid pace. Working her legs in green blurs, she burst into a sprint and went after the lady, throwing the feeble body upon the flat surface on her tail’s center and quickening her momentum. Sceptile adored her trainer was a deep passion, feeling the malignant vibes of her emotions and thoughts towards modern people who were to think of themselves as better than the rest.
Believed you were saying “Sceptile adored her trainer with a deep passion”.

Exploring through the flamboyant jungle of sacredness, Paris walked up and slightly laughed. She felt like a private detective, spying on one of her friends in the tropical rainforest. Sceptile followed her every action and concluded that she was developing romantic feelings, but all was washed away in an instant second when the angered calls from faraway echoed around. They were wild, primeval shrieks that could shatter glass or twist a sunshine, balmy day into a showering tempest. Paris and Sceptile knew that the time had come.

Better hope that will not affect Sceptile too much!

The poisonous jungle-beast roared, delighted to see her trainer. The female assassin’s once malicious feelings, filled with a spice of malignant mirth, was lightening up to a more angelic appearance. She seemed rather filled with happiness, like she had been drugged several times with dreamy ecstasy. Nalvez watched with nefarious glee, not feeling the need to break the love and bond between man and Pokémon. However, the anticipation of a grand skirmish was flowing through his blood, and knew that her skills needed to be tested at any time.
Bounds between man and Pokemon always deserves a plus! (sorry about that).



Like I’ve always said – water is thin, sand is smooth, fire is hot, and death is everything else. If all fails, then the assassination will be my request for forgiveness.”

Really liked that saying. Very cool.

They crowded together and appeared like a graceful blur of creamy beige, moving in harmony that would have been portrayed as a hypnotic movement. The assassinators didn’t know whether to attack the feline tribe or send their Pokémon to do the work. Paris and Nalvez smirked, knowing that the war had begun once the felines scampered back into the darkness, returning to their respective owners.
Liked how you described the Persians here. So mysterious.



She steadily went for one of the red and white spheroids that was attached to a black necklace around her neck, and tossed it in the air with the elegance of a Champion.
Cool, a new way to store the pokeballs!

There was indeed anger hiding in each and every one of her words, though Paris dared to bring it into the conversation. She paused for a second, fumbling with the response in her head. Paris collected his words and continued speaking. “What is the question, Mew?”
When you said his, did you mean Enti? Or is it suppose to be her, referring to Mew or Paris? Sorry about that.

Well, that is my review. Good job indeed! Now, I never really got the chance to read “Rhapsody“. I really want to read that story as I love fantasy! I will try to read some of it tomorrow. Well, have a good day!
 
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Sike Saner

Peace to the Mountain
Very impressive. ^^ I have a special fondness for long one-shots, given the extra room they provide to expand upon and develop a setting, which is exactly what you've done here. Automatic happy points for spotlighting Sceptile, who over time has earned a place as my favorite evolved Hoenn starter. (Sorry de snorry, Blaziken and Swampert, but know that I do still love you guys. ^^) I liked the language, the setting, the characters, the action, pretty much everything. ^^

Assorted pwnages:

Lit up in a flickering, cold blaze of white fire, the full moon cradled itself high within the dying sky above.

Pretty. ^^

Motionless golden stars were scattered across the blackened field of sanctity, while the verdant blades of grass below swayed together and moved in harmony to the mountain’s symphony.

Lovely, plus it kinda rhymes. ^^ Cool.

a thundershower of gold light

^ Remarkably Cool Phrase #1

His hide split like old parchment, blood seeping through the trail to the outside world, thick and traveling in a fine, red river.

Fricking awesome! Ah, gore... <3

She moved ahead and towered over what used to be a precious, living beast, allowing her malicious shadow to waltz upon him.

YUMMEH. Y'know, it kinda reminds me of someone special. If someone were to replace the female pronouns with male ones, this sentence could fit Him like a glove. I know I tend to think of much of the lovely things people say as something that could describe Him, but this sentence...this one has that special someone written all over it. Oh, yes. ^^

Above the arcane manor was the field of the heavens that split the world between the benevolent and the malevolent.

Just wanted to mention how much I like the word "arcane". ^^

Like I’ve always said – water is thin, sand is smooth, fire is hot, and death is everything else.

o_o Well, that was cool.

heaven’s requiem

^ Remarkably Cool Phrase #2

The long, gold blade was dripping in fresh blood, while stains of the past wars were forever scarred upon its once reflecting surface.

Oh, that is just gorgeous.


And one last thing: Ra’ir. God, that is a cool name. *_*


I would definitely say that this is one of your best works to date. Hands down. ^^ *salutes and gives cookies*
 

Ryano Ra

Verdant Vitality
The Great Butler
The Great Butler said:
Brilliant, simply brilliant. (applauds)

This fic really is just about perfect. The description of the scenery is flawless---I felt as if I was right there watching. The story was solid, too. And of course, I love a Salamence appearance wherever I can get it.

(gives some Butler Empire cake)
Thank you so much for taking time out and reviewing this long short story, Great Butler; and thanks for the Butler Empire cake! *snatches it all and feeds it to himself and his Aggron* Actually, the whole Salamence part was a good one, even though I originally didn't plan to give her one of those -- they were cool only for the scene, in my own opinion. Still, her name (Ra'ir) is something that I really liked and so, look out for Ra'ir in one of my future fanfictions. Thanks so much!

Bay
Bay said:
Hello Seperent Syra! I read the whole thing and I thought it is really good! Really loved the description! Anyways, here are some things I liked and some things that needs correction.

The monster’s sharp, bladed leaves that were connected to the back of her arms suddenly burst into a frosty emerald gleam. The ends outstretched themselves into the formation of jagged swords as she went after the wild Umbreon. The reptile weaved staggering paths around the green shrubbery and trees and wild-berry bushes, eyes focused upon his everlasting movements.

Liked the description of Leaf Blade.

She roared, leaping forward and swiping the dark beast from the right side, ramming him into old bark nearby. Thorns were scattered upon the deceased trunk, and the backside of the wild Umbreon was stabbed and jabbed like a million daggers driven into his body. His hide split like old parchment, blood seeping through the trail to the outside world, thick and traveling in a fine, red river. The Umbreon screamed in agony, but it was only seconds later that his mouth was met by the deadly slash of Sceptile’s grass blades.

Man, and I thought Pokemon cannot die by the attacks. You have proven me wrong!

Bloodstained and rotting, the fresh carcass was as motionless and feeble as a newborn fish jumping upon the top of a mountain without proper air and water. Paris arrived only a few minutes later, watching as her Sceptile was cleaning the entire scene. A sinister smile reflected the deep passion and wonderful view she was now witnessing as the grass monster rested by her very side. She closely examined the cadaver of the wild Umbreon and slightly flinched, terrified of whether she’d get to it first or if it a Pokémon would beat her to the punch.

I am confused with the if it a Pokemon part. Maybe you were suppose to say “or a Pokemon would beat her to the punch”?

Carefully, the swift reptile took a step forward and picked up the deceased Umbreon, noticing her trainer starting to leave at a considerably rapid pace. Working her legs in green blurs, she burst into a sprint and went after the lady, throwing the feeble body upon the flat surface on her tail’s center and quickening her momentum. Sceptile adored her trainer was a deep passion, feeling the malignant vibes of her emotions and thoughts towards modern people who were to think of themselves as better than the rest.

Believed you were saying “Sceptile adored her trainer with a deep passion”.

Exploring through the flamboyant jungle of sacredness, Paris walked up and slightly laughed. She felt like a private detective, spying on one of her friends in the tropical rainforest. Sceptile followed her every action and concluded that she was developing romantic feelings, but all was washed away in an instant second when the angered calls from faraway echoed around. They were wild, primeval shrieks that could shatter glass or twist a sunshine, balmy day into a showering tempest. Paris and Sceptile knew that the time had come.

Better hope that will not affect Sceptile too much!

The poisonous jungle-beast roared, delighted to see her trainer. The female assassin’s once malicious feelings, filled with a spice of malignant mirth, was lightening up to a more angelic appearance. She seemed rather filled with happiness, like she had been drugged several times with dreamy ecstasy. Nalvez watched with nefarious glee, not feeling the need to break the love and bond between man and Pokémon. However, the anticipation of a grand skirmish was flowing through his blood, and knew that her skills needed to be tested at any time.

Bounds between man and Pokemon always deserves a plus! (sorry about that).

Like I’ve always said – water is thin, sand is smooth, fire is hot, and death is everything else. If all fails, then the assassination will be my request for forgiveness.”

Really liked that saying. Very cool.

They crowded together and appeared like a graceful blur of creamy beige, moving in harmony that would have been portrayed as a hypnotic movement. The assassinators didn’t know whether to attack the feline tribe or send their Pokémon to do the work. Paris and Nalvez smirked, knowing that the war had begun once the felines scampered back into the darkness, returning to their respective owners.

Liked how you described the Persians here. So mysterious.

She steadily went for one of the red and white spheroids that was attached to a black necklace around her neck, and tossed it in the air with the elegance of a Champion.

Cool, a new way to store the pokeballs!

There was indeed anger hiding in each and every one of her words, though Paris dared to bring it into the conversation. She paused for a second, fumbling with the response in her head. Paris collected his words and continued speaking. “What is the question, Mew?”

When you said his, did you mean Enti? Or is it suppose to be her, referring to Mew or Paris? Sorry about that.

Well, that is my review. Good job indeed! Now, I never really got the chance to read “Rhapsody“. I really want to read that story as I love fantasy! I will try to read some of it tomorrow. Well, have a good day!
O.O

Thank you so much for the fantastically-long and good review, Bay! I corrected all of the mistakes and I also liked how you quoted your favorite parts. My favorite still has to be the beginning with the leaping Sceptile and the wild Umbreon battle -- especially her leaping from branch to branch, like Scrap had mentioned in her awesome review. o.o As for Rhapsody...you can choose whether you want to read it or now, but I will warn you that mistakes still swarm in the later chapters that I've updated. So, yeah...^^;; Thanks again for the fantastic review, Bay -- very much appreciated!
 

Bay

YEAHHHHHHH
You welcome! Had not really done these kinds of in depth reviews in a while! Probably because right now I have some time in my hands. Yeah, I really liked the beginning part too! Forgot to mention it. Also, I forgot to also mention how I liked the ending too. Now that makes me wonder what really happens at the end.
 

scry

Aura Heroics
Wow. My first reflection on a piece of fiction. Far as grammatical errors, I couldn't really find any. I attribute that to a job well-done on your part and a fantastic review by Bay.

I would like to say that your description owned my soul....thoroughly. It didn't seem like blind words like alot of authors stream together and call description. It flowed, most beautifully I might add. It also seemed unique as well. A good kind of flashy, or perhaps trendy. Well, that's what comes to mind.

You also pulled off the violence most admirably. It wasn't just blind violence to me. The eloquence with which you portrayed the battle (and ensuing death) gave it a strangely twisted sense of taste and tact. I marvel at your ability to create such a contradictory feeling within me.

Side point, plus infinite bonus points for using Sceptile and using it in the best way I've read.
 

Ryano Ra

Verdant Vitality
Sway
Sway said:
Wow. My first reflection on a piece of fiction. Far as grammatical errors, I couldn't really find any. I attribute that to a job well-done on your part and a fantastic review by Bay.

I would like to say that your description owned my soul....thoroughly. It didn't seem like blind words like alot of authors stream together and call description. It flowed, most beautifully I might add. It also seemed unique as well. A good kind of flashy, or perhaps trendy. Well, that's what comes to mind.

You also pulled off the violence most admirably. It wasn't just blind violence to me. The eloquence with which you portrayed the battle (and ensuing death) gave it a strangely twisted sense of taste and tact. I marvel at your ability to create such a contradictory feeling within me.

Side point, plus infinite bonus points for using Sceptile and using it in the best way I've read.
*bows* Thank you very much for a wonderful review, Sway -- it is definitely most appreciated coming from a new reviewer. (Actually, and honestly, I am a bit surprised that a lot of people liked this -- you know, the funny thing is, it seems that my work in which I feel I could have done better on grabs more attention that work I'm actually satisfied with. Ironic, huh?) I'm very glad to hear so many positive reviews.

^^ It is wonderful to hear that you liked how I used Sceptile; as Sike said (which I'll be responding to her review very soon), Sceptile is my favorite Hoenn-evolved Pokemon between him, Blaziken, and Swampert (I really do not like Blaziken, in fact - Swampert is just plain awesome. Sceptile is godly). I found that Sceptile was the best choice for the killer AND the the surrounding used, which helped me write the entire scene a lot smoother. Also, I'm flattered to hear someone thinks of my details as unique -- that's just...wow. o.o;; *gives you Salamence-shaped cookies* Thanks again!

Sike Saner
Sike Saner said:
Very impressive. ^^ I have a special fondness for long one-shots, given the extra room they provide to expand upon and develop a setting, which is exactly what you've done here. Automatic happy points for spotlighting Sceptile, who over time has earned a place as my favorite evolved Hoenn starter. (Sorry de snorry, Blaziken and Swampert, but know that I do still love you guys. ^^) I liked the language, the setting, the characters, the action, pretty much everything. ^^

Assorted pwnages:

Lit up in a flickering, cold blaze of white fire, the full moon cradled itself high within the dying sky above.

Pretty. ^^


Motionless golden stars were scattered across the blackened field of sanctity, while the verdant blades of grass below swayed together and moved in harmony to the mountain’s symphony.

Lovely, plus it kinda rhymes. ^^ Cool.

a thundershower of gold light

^ Remarkably Cool Phrase #1

His hide split like old parchment, blood seeping through the trail to the outside world, thick and traveling in a fine, red river.

Fricking awesome! Ah, gore... <3

She moved ahead and towered over what used to be a precious, living beast, allowing her malicious shadow to waltz upon him.

YUMMEH. Y'know, it kinda reminds me of someone special. If someone were to replace the female pronouns with male ones, this sentence could fit Him like a glove. I know I tend to think of much of the lovely things people say as something that could describe Him, but this sentence...this one has that special someone written all over it. Oh, yes. ^^

Above the arcane manor was the field of the heavens that split the world between the benevolent and the malevolent.

Just wanted to mention how much I like the word "arcane". ^^

Like I’ve always said – water is thin, sand is smooth, fire is hot, and death is everything else.

o_o Well, that was cool.

heaven’s requiem

^ Remarkably Cool Phrase #2

The long, gold blade was dripping in fresh blood, while stains of the past wars were forever scarred upon its once reflecting surface.

Oh, that is just gorgeous.

And one last thing: Ra’ir. God, that is a cool name. *_*

I would definitely say that this is one of your best works to date. Hands down. ^^ *salutes and gives cookies*
SIKEYY!!! *combines the elemental rings* Silent Salamanders UNITE! *hisses wildly*

*_* Your reviews always blow me away, but this one was by far my favorite. So many of your quotes were parts I also loved, and I'm glad to share some of my favorites phrases with one of my most lovable reviewers around. I had an absolute joy writing this, partially because I was able to cover a lot more using a longer length than any of my past one-shot works (Eternity's Prison, Emerald Showers, Secrets, Shadow Beauty, The Fairy-Tale Sea, ect) and I especially love the beginning and the end. But, yes, my favorite quote has got to be "the thundershower of golden light" - so pretty indeed. *_*
 

Praxiteles

Friendly POKéMON.
And just when I thought literature couldn't get any more impressive, you come up with this.

I'm a bit disconcerted to see how far down this has sunk before I saw it, but what's important is tht I saw it, and had the pleasure of reading this. Now, on to actually getting to business.

I just completely love this you have here. In fact, there's absolutely nothing I can nitpick on. Even the abnormal dialog can be justified; it would be a bit overkill to say that a kingdom completely isolated from anything we can recognise would speak in the exact same dialog we do.

And then there's just the complete pwning-ness of the Pokémon you chose. There's no denying it: Mew looks awesome with a golden blade drenched in fresh blood, Entei is one of the most r0xing Johto legendaries ever, what with his owning offensive strength, and Salamence's speed and grace is simply unsurpassed. Incidentally, Salamence is my very favourite Pokémon; I just loved it when you added her on.

If someone asked me about my highlights for this one, I'd quote the entire thing, but if someone asked me about the bare minimum of a collection of some very finely picked quotes that I just absolutely love, they would be:

A sweetened, seductive voice spoke out, breaking all tranquility and shattering the road to a peaceful night. It echoed through the air as bullets of shining blue rain started to fall down upon the mountainous vicinity. The emerging tempest coincided beautifully with the malignant tone of the words, filling in the hallow gaps and allowing the clarity to bloom.

That just plain rocks your socks. I never thought description of sound could be so beautiful, but that's another example of how you masterfully set the scene.

As the sudden command was swallowed by the sound of the downpour, loud thumps of foot against earth started to join the sonata. A sudden silhouette accelerated forward, speeding under the shades of the wild trees. It sped with sheer grace, glowing emerald as it launched an arm ahead and blasted through the thickness of the distance. Gleaming eyes were focused forward, glinting and vigilant as features blessed its appearance.

And that's one of how you so abruptly, yet gracefully, break it. To say that this is more than professional, and that it flows along smoother than a piece of soap on an ice ring, would be an understatement.

Like I’ve always said – water is thin, sand is smooth, fire is hot, and death is everything else. If all fails, then the assassination will be my request for forgiveness.”

I just love that line. It's so completely filled with, well, lethal elegance!

Oh, and by the way, *hisses back* Flame Lizards 4ever!

*crickets*

Or... not...
 

Ryano Ra

Verdant Vitality
.:Pyroken Serafoculus:. said:
And just when I thought literature couldn't get any more impressive, you come up with this.

I'm a bit disconcerted to see how far down this has sunk before I saw it, but what's important is tht I saw it, and had the pleasure of reading this. Now, on to actually getting to business.

I just completely love this you have here. In fact, there's absolutely nothing I can nitpick on. Even the abnormal dialog can be justified; it would be a bit overkill to say that a kingdom completely isolated from anything we can recognise would speak in the exact same dialog we do.

And then there's just the complete pwning-ness of the Pokémon you chose. There's no denying it: Mew looks awesome with a golden blade drenched in fresh blood, Entei is one of the most r0xing Johto legendaries ever, what with his owning offensive strength, and Salamence's speed and grace is simply unsurpassed. Incidentally, Salamence is my very favourite Pokémon; I just loved it when you added her on.

If someone asked me about my highlights for this one, I'd quote the entire thing, but if someone asked me about the bare minimum of a collection of some very finely picked quotes that I just absolutely love, they would be:

A sweetened, seductive voice spoke out, breaking all tranquility and shattering the road to a peaceful night. It echoed through the air as bullets of shining blue rain started to fall down upon the mountainous vicinity. The emerging tempest coincided beautifully with the malignant tone of the words, filling in the hallow gaps and allowing the clarity to bloom.
That just plain rocks your socks. I never thought description of sound could be so beautiful, but that's another example of how you masterfully set the scene.

As the sudden command was swallowed by the sound of the downpour, loud thumps of foot against earth started to join the sonata. A sudden silhouette accelerated forward, speeding under the shades of the wild trees. It sped with sheer grace, glowing emerald as it launched an arm ahead and blasted through the thickness of the distance. Gleaming eyes were focused forward, glinting and vigilant as features blessed its appearance.
And that's one of how you so abruptly, yet gracefully, break it. To say that this is more than professional, and that it flows along smoother than a piece of soap on an ice ring, would be an understatement.

Like I’ve always said – water is thin, sand is smooth, fire is hot, and death is everything else. If all fails, then the assassination will be my request for forgiveness.”
I just love that line. It's so completely filled with, well, lethal elegance!

Oh, and by the way, *hisses back* Flame Lizards 4ever!

*crickets*

Or... not...
*hisses* Brother, my brother! *hisses wildly*

^^ Thank you for such the enlightening review, Pyroken (shall I call you that as your nickname?) ; I really appreciate it greatly. I really loved this one out of all the others you're written, probably because of how much you liked this story. My dialogue is actually a bit abnormal, but you have to remember that they constantly are open up to the outside world; they are assassins, and assassins travel around the world to kill (or regions, in this case. XD). But, I really liked the way Paris spoke -- she's such an awesome character and I can't wait to use her in my future fanfiction coming late in the Fall (Eyes of the Python -- I'm working on Serpent of the Sky first).

I thought that Mew would be the perfect choice for the bloodstained sword portion, for I imagined all of it in my head. I remember calling her the Goddess of War, for she has enough power to begin one (and she knows Transform! ^^) -- I'm very surprised, however, that this was pulling as many reviews as it did so far. o.o;; I thought that because of how long, it wouldn't recieve many responses, but I guess I was wrong. Maybe I should write more longer short stories more often. Oh, and thanks for the compliment concerning one of the highlights -- and just think, I'm trying to equip a more unique writing style when I write Adventure and Action stories. Thanks again!
 

SnoringFrog

Well-Known Member
He started gathering the essences of the unkind, forming a ghastly, violet-colored sphere in the center of his open maw.
A few seconds withered away, and the electrical, expanded orb of wraithlike power had been formed and shot out towards the grass reptile. The sphere whistled and carved meandering paths under the heavens above, finally swooping around Sceptile before striking her from the back.

I loved how you depicted Shadow Ball, even more so with it coming from an umbreon. A breathtakingly astounding description., Syra.

Umbreon was stabbed and jabbed like a million daggers driven into his body.

This sentence ust seems to be worded oddly. It seems as if something's missing, but I'm not sure what that somethign is. Maybe it's just me.

The wild Umbreon was a skilled creature of blackness,
I bet his master will be crying out a symphony of whines and tears, but it doesn’t matter.

First you said the Umbreon was wild, then you mentioned its master. Which one is it?

Beautiful writing. Another beautiful one-shot by you, amazing work. Having read both The Pink Sea and its revision, The Fairy-Tale Sea, helped with understanding it.
 

Ryano Ra

Verdant Vitality
SnoringFrog said:
He started gathering the essences of the unkind, forming a ghastly, violet-colored sphere in the center of his open maw.
A few seconds withered away, and the electrical, expanded orb of wraithlike power had been formed and shot out towards the grass reptile. The sphere whistled and carved meandering paths under the heavens above, finally swooping around Sceptile before striking her from the back.
I loved how you depicted Shadow Ball, even more so with it coming from an umbreon. A breathtakingly astounding description., Syra.
Umbreon was stabbed and jabbed like a million daggers driven into his body.
This sentence ust seems to be worded oddly. It seems as if something's missing, but I'm not sure what that somethign is. Maybe it's just me.
The wild Umbreon was a skilled creature of blackness,
I bet his master will be crying out a symphony of whines and tears, but it doesn’t matter.
First you said the Umbreon was wild, then you mentioned its master. Which one is it?

Beautiful writing. Another beautiful one-shot by you, amazing work. Having read both The Pink Sea and its revision, The Fairy-Tale Sea, helped with understanding it.
O.O Another wonderful review -- thank you so, so much for the wonderful comments, SnoringFrog. I really appreciate it and you are also starting to make me remember all of your past reviews you've given me with my short stories and Bloodstained Swords. I really thought that by reading The Pink Sea/The Fairy-Tale Sea, it would further the message in terms of legendaries and the "Rule of Legends", and if not, then I plan to do so in a future short story called "Avatars of the East", which revolves around a legendary hunter, Mew, and possibly Mewtwo that takes place in the eastern divisions of Galabonia. So, look forward to that one -- I plan to dig a bit deeper into thought, emotion, and introspection.

I also liked the way I described the Umbreon's Shadow Ball; Espeon, however, I usually depict hers differently, for I think a Shadow Ball used by a psychic-type must include some type of kinectic strength or psychicy powers. o.o; And for the next quote, something is missing, and I know exactly what it is, so I plan to fix that as soon as possible. Again, thanks for the review.
 

Timid Kyogre

Endangered Creature
Yay. Here for the review.

This was really good, Serpent Syra! What I liked most was the Sceptile and Umbreon thing, the description is just lovely! ^_^

Like I’ve always said – water is thin, sand is smooth, fire is hot, and death is everything else. If all fails, then the assassination will be my request for forgiveness.”

That just rocks big time o_O

And thank you for using Sceptile. I like Sceptile for some reason.

Good job, this was amazing! ^^

~Timid Kyogre
 

Ryano Ra

Verdant Vitality
Timid Kyogre said:
Yay. Here for the review.

This was really good, Serpent Syra! What I liked most was the Sceptile and Umbreon thing, the description is just lovely! ^_^

That just rocks big time o_O

And thank you for using Sceptile. I like Sceptile for some reason.

Good job, this was amazing! ^^

~Timid Kyogre
Timid Kyogre! *hugs* Thank you for the wonderful review - it is very, very appreciated coming from such a great author as yourself. I really liked how I opened up the story with the hunt for the wild Umbreon, and I thought that there wasn't any other choice to use except Sceptile, for she can deliver the job with perfection. As I said before, Sceptile is my favorite evolved Hoenn starter and one of three of my favorite grass-types (the others being Venusaur and Cradily).

Oh, and I am so glad to hear that everyone enjoyed that little sentence that has been quoted -- it actually took a bit of time for me to think about it, but then after a few revisions and extra thought, I finally realized that it was an interesting kind of thing for a person to say that. So, I made Paris say it. ^^
 

SnoringFrog

Well-Known Member
O.O Another wonderful review -- thank you so, so much for the wonderful comments, SnoringFrog. I really appreciate it and you are also starting to make me remember all of your past reviews you've given me with my short stories and Bloodstained Swords. I really thought that by reading The Pink Sea/The Fairy-Tale Sea, it would further the message in terms of legendaries and the "Rule of Legends", and if not, then I plan to do so in a future short story called "Avatars of the East", which revolves around a legendary hunter, Mew, and possibly Mewtwo that takes place in the eastern divisions of Galabonia. So, look forward to that one -- I plan to dig a bit deeper into thought, emotion, and introspection.

I also liked the way I described the Umbreon's Shadow Ball; Espeon, however, I usually depict hers differently, for I think a Shadow Ball used by a psychic-type must include some type of kinectic strength or psychicy powers. o.o; And for the next quote, something is missing, and I know exactly what it is, so I plan to fix that as soon as possible. Again, thanks for the review.

I remember Bloodstained Swords (Revision 2 was on the front page or so the day I found the fanfiction section, while I was still lurking.) It was one of the first 3 fics I ever read here. (Heart of the Magma [and it's sequel, Choice and Consequence] by puprle_drake, and something else by Aqua [I think that's his name now], were the others.) Then, I could hardly understand a lick of it, your description was way too much for me.

Ever since reading A Pink Sea, I've taken the "Rule of Legends" as fact, and tend to use it whenever my friends and I discuss them. It just made so much sense it's stuck in my mind.

BTW, I'm working on reviewing Rhapsody, but I want to post the entire review at once. I'm currently on chapter 8 or 9.
 

Ryano Ra

Verdant Vitality
SnoringFrog said:
I remember Bloodstained Swords (Revision 2 was on the front page or so the day I found the fanfiction section, while I was still lurking.) It was one of the first 3 fics I ever read here. (Heart of the Magma [and it's sequel, Choice and Consequence] by puprle_drake, and something else by Aqua [I think that's his name now], were the others.) Then, I could hardly understand a lick of it, your description was way too much for me.

Ever since reading A Pink Sea, I've taken the "Rule of Legends" as fact, and tend to use it whenever my friends and I discuss them. It just made so much sense it's stuck in my mind.

BTW, I'm working on reviewing Rhapsody, but I want to post the entire review at once. I'm currently on chapter 8 or 9.
*nods head and pops in* Yes, I do remember when you were a reviewer for my first official fanfiction, Bloodstained Swords. I do miss that story, but...*hushes*

I also liked the entire concept about the Rule of Legends, and again, I thank you for the wonderful review! ^_^
 
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