Yes!!! Sooooo much this. My first holidays as an adult were sad, and almost jarring, like, oh no, will these never be fun again? Were they really for children? And I think a part of it is the adult-adults in my life were all so tired. This last year I really started taking things into my own hands and made plans for my family, and we all had a blast! Yeah, yeah, planning sometimes sucks, but it was so worth it.
THANK YOU. I say it so often that people need to make things happen if they aren't happy, and more often than not it's met with a defeated attitude or conviction that things just suck as an adult. I'm sure that some people do have it really rough and it's hard to do much but I'm so tired of the general public's idea that being an adult is horrible and can't be fun. Bills suck, work sucks, and the world can suck a lot of the time, but gdi if I'm not going to have a good time when I have the chance. I had off from work for almost two full weeks for the holidays and you know when it was most sucky and boring? When I didn't make an effort to do things that I thought would be fun.
Related to that, sometimes I get in my head too much when I'm spending time with my boyfriend. I'll start to go down the path of "we aren't having enough fun" or aren't doing enough or need to go out and find new things to do. But then I stop, and I tell myself that it's only as fun as I make it. And I kick those thoughts out and enjoy myself. It's taken a long time to work through habits/thought processes like that but I'm finally at a place where positive self-talk and motivation are really helping. I want to leave this here for anyone who struggles with similar things, because it can work out and you can change how you think about things. I'll admit that from November 2018 - October 2019 I was on Zoloft, and that really helped me tackle my negative though processes and self-talk, but with conscious practice and repeated attempts it eventually got to where I am now, and I'm very happy with that.
In other news... I am excited for the new semester. I really am. I'm taking a bunch of fun classes. But I am already dreading the chore of introducing my pronouns, making sure my pronouns are used, dealing with the inevitability that they will be forgotten or ignored, and just... ugh. It's a chore at this point. I get why the pronoun shift is hard for people who were in my life before I came out, but I don't get why it's so difficult for new people. I'm so tired, y'all.
Keep sticking to it and don't let other people get you down too much! I can't imagine how difficult or frustrating it can be to put up with, but I think it's one of those things that you just have to admit is difficult for a lot of people for whatever reason - be it socialization, bigotry, or anything else. I hope that people get it the first time around and that you don't have to deal with too many misgenderings, but if you ever need to vent just go ahead! And feel free to PM me if you ever need to vent in private at all haha
In new year fashion, does anyone have any goals or resolutions for the year?
How are you doing? Thanks for the warm wishes! I've been doing great lately. Met a fantastic guy who I mesh with and have been really enjoying my time with. There's no pressure or drama or unrealistic expectations and it's all I could hope for for my fellows gays <33
