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Lull

Breezy

Well-Known Member
Amigash, an Air Dragon! =D Thanks for reviewing! Responses in the spoiler!
SO, after saying I'd read it... after saving the first eight chapters for later perusal... it still took me close to a year to get around to reading this. Wow... I suck.
Haha. No worries. I'm glad you decided to give it a chance. =)

As writing a review for each chapter would seem a little over the top, I think I'll go about this the old fashioned way:

GRAMMAR

Well, here was your most lackluster area, although that was mostly due to slight typos here and there. Despite this, they did nothing to interrupt the flow of this piece of art.

Rank: A-
Always good. I think it is time I should go back and re-read this story for typos/funky syntax.

PLOT

Unique is an understatement. This is only so different from HLBMA, but you lost next to nothing in the telling of a totally new tale. The scene may be focused on the Eastern Sinnoh side, but you make it so refreshing to read. The universe of the fic just seems to expand slowly,and each end brings as many questions as it solves.

A+
It's interesting you mention that. I like to think of this story as what I wanted HLBMA to look like had I had the space (or the attention span). I used the same logic/reasoning/formula/whatever that I used for HLBMA to expand some game aspect, but this time my concern was that the plot would be too slow because we are only focusing on one area and one major plot, while my concern with HLBMA would be that things would be too fast or there were would be too many sub-plots being juggled around. Either way, glad it's working ... or at least refreshing. =P

DESCRIPTION

For the win. No, for the ULTIMATE WIN. Whether it's Lucas's feelings of being overused to the extent of depression, or Lane's wild dream scenes, Lull pulls this to a new level and perfects it beautifully. I could go on, but there's been enough over-the-top praise going on here.

A*
Thank you. =) Glad both are working wonderfully.

CAST

You take characterization really seriously, don't you? And even beyond that, you manage to keep everyone in a character that's not only unique, but so realistic one would expect to see a Darkrai in their closet every evening. You either watched a lot of TV growing up, or have a serious calling to performing arts: you pulled off each member of Lane's family, Julie and Francis (even when they didn't appear that often) epically.
A bit of both. XP Even though I am getting older, I still try to keep an active imagination (it saddens me that people often lose their imagination the older they get), so I think that helps a bit. Or I'm nuts. One of the two.

Dawn and Lucas deserve another round of applause. I love how Lucas handles his business: cool as you please, rational and professionally. He may be lacking a bit in the acceptance of being wrong area, but that makes him all the more enjoyable to read. Dawn's being a polar opposite makes for quite the dynamic, both in their close moments (End of Chapter Thirteen = D'Awwwwwww!) and in their friction-filled ones.
I know I've probably said this a hundred times to other people, but Lucas and Dawn are such fun characters to write for the exact reason you stated. I know they're complete opposites, but the more I wrote them together with these personalities, the more I saw this really awkward, but cute, chemistry between them. Plus it makes for fun fights, too. =P

You can't say their Pokemon are left out, and the way you bring each one out is awesome. Piplup the Tiny Pervert, Honchkrow the rebel, Grotle/Torterra the reliable sloth, and Riolu/Lucario the loyal all carve a niche for themselves whenever they appear. I have a lot to learn.
Definitely a different approach compared to HLBMA, no? =P You should seem a bit more of them next chapter.

Cynthia and Rowan also show how the world seems to believe you can handle all the world's problems and hold your head high regardless of how little help they offered. I fully support Lucas in his approach to Cynthia. I only hope it doesn't spread too far and settle too thick. But there seems to be hope... ;)

A*
Oh, definitely, though I tried to portray Rowan as a bit more sympathetic. As for Cynthia and Lucas getting along ... Dunno, haven't planned that far yet. XP Lucas is forced to contact Rowan pretty frequently considering he is his apprentice while he doesn't have to be with Cynthia (his problem with her is more that he was left to do things alone even though she was aware of what was going on rather than having to do said world's problems). But yeah, there's definitely pain.

Cyrus is another figure I group together with Cynthia and Rowan. He had more of a direct influence on Lucas' current state. You'll definitely see more of him next chapter. *giddy*

LENGTH

Not the tomes that keep me motivated, but you never really relied on that. You've always favoured the "quality over quantity" motif, and boy, you make it an almost-universal truth.

A

OVERALL

Wow. I've said all that needs to be said in the post title. Seriously, this is top notch, Bree. Top. Notch.

;120;;120;;120;;120; and a half ;120;

Keep at it. I'm so gonna be following this more avidly! Although expect future review to be a lot shorter... :p

Happy new year! L@er!
Yeah, it was why I was a bit surprised (pleasantly, of course) to see your name here since I always pegged you as a lover of epic journey quests. Though I am grateful x 100 that you are here. =) Thanks for reading and reviewing once again! Glad you enjoyed it!
 

Breezy

Well-Known Member
Hi Breezy, I've read up until Chapter Nine, I'll review and take a break...

First of all, I was most interested in this story because I once made a small comic entailing the Darkrai event.
Hey, moonlightning. =) Glad you decided to give this story a shot. Hope it didn't induce too many headaches. Lulz. Did you ever finish/still working on that comic?

The Positive:

Your characters are great, I'm in awe of them. They seem very lifelike and multi-dimensional. Especially Dawn and Lucas. Their interactions were superb, I really enjoyed them.

Lane's obsession with Lance was very entertaining. I could imagine him very clearly with a cape on, jumping around his room calling Pokemon attacks, that made me chuckle. The dreams are surprisingly tame, maybe in the later chapters he will begin the nightmare I always assumed the victim of Darkrai's wrath would be in.
Glad you enjoyed the characters. I was going to do more with the Lane/Lance sub-plot line, actually, but I decided, hey, killing Lane's hero by a mad gabite with a gun sounds tons better. Lol.

Oh, and the dream sequences were drastically different, too.

Explanation/history time!

The original idea, at least when it came to Lane's dreams, was along the Lane/Squish/Julie dream sequence, except that was going to be the all the dream sequences. The three of them would make some epic journey through some unnamed land (it was something along the line of Dreamscape -- my very, very first title for this story, before it went to Incubus, then Lull), trying to figure out some mystery.

What mystery, I had no idea. My basic plotline was that there was a princess of Dreamscape who got kidnapped (who would be symbolized as cresselia ... yeah, it's getting rather lame now, isn't it?), and the three were going after her kidnapper (three guesses to who he symbolizes) and something something. It was incredibly lame, incredibly predictable, and incredibly unrealistic (because while I know there are long dreams, I don't think a person would dream the same dream for days at a time. But then again, this is darkrai we're talking about). I think why I wanted to do something like this for the dreams was because it would be one set location that I could drastically make more "nightmarish" (if you re-read that dream sequence, it starts out rather cheery) and the sort of dream/setting/world darkrai would send his victims too.

I also had a lot of fun writing different dream sequences that were more symbolic to Lane's life (compared to darkrai/cresselia, though they are symbolized quite a lot in the dreams), so that is why I trashed my original idea. Though I did spend quite a bit of time on that specific dream sequence for personal reasons. Original idea and all. =P

In response to the dreams being surprisingly tame, I agree. We still have a bit to go, so who knows what could happen. ;P Though I think tame is subjective, at least between the reader and Lane. What also made me trash my original Lane plot-line was the reliance of darker imagery/setting and crazy stuff that people would expect from darkrai. While, sure, that is scary in one sense, I definitely would expect darkrai to tap further into the psychological state of his victims and toy around with their desires/fears. Lance being killed is definitely one. The later dreams (not sure how far you are now lol) are starting to chip away at Lane's thoughts and will steadily get worse. So while they may not be horrific to the readers, it may be horrific to Lane.

But I will try to crank it up a notch because, despite my rantings, I do agree with you and the dreams being tame. XP

I also like the amount of dislike for rope in this story.
Rope is a serious problem in today's society. We must suppress it! *shakes fist*

Your writing style seems nice and fluid, it is easy to be pulled into the problems of your characters. The dreams were strange (as dreams should be), are they symbolic? Or just random adventures and ideas Lane is having?
Most of the dreams are.

Trains are the biggest one. Julie is another. The woman who turned into a dragonite can be symbolized to a certain creature (well, besides dragonite). Squish is one. Lance being killed is one. I will definitely say that all the dreams are/can be related to something in Lane's life, except you may not know it yet as the real life information may not have been released yet ... if that makes sense. To confuse you even further, some parts of the dreams are symbolic of what we, the audience, dream, or our capability of control in our dreams. Lane's inability to imagine blood at first is one, which is in reference to our ability to control certain aspects of our dream if necessary, like us seeing ourselves get killed or something.

With that said, if you do just read them as random dreams, that's fine, too. My goal with the dream scenes was that if you wanted to, you could try to analyze them, but if you don't, they'd still be fun scenes to read.

The Negative:

Now, I wouldn't want to waste your time with lots of 'teh omgz, ur storyz sooo awzm <3 1000/10!!! :)' so I'll try to include the things I didn't like so much.

I kind of think I know what is going to happen. I suppose it is a problem when writing about an in-game event. I hope you change things around. It makes me want to read your story less, because I'm pretty sure I'm right. Does that make sense to you?
Game canon expansion is pretty much my thanggg, so I have some experience in taking what a reader may already know and twisting something slightly where what they expected isn't, well, exactly what they expected. Or, at the very least, different enough. That being said, I don't plan on breaking the original plot line (Lane falls into some spell, player character runs off to Fullmoon, comes back, and yay awake!). That's why I created the sub plots with Lucas/Dawn and Eldritch/Alyson (who we will see in chapter fourteen) because those are original plot points. I'm extremely excited about the end, actually, because I think what I have in store isn't what anyone was expecting. *giddy* Actually, next chapter (chapter fourteen) is something, I think, no one expected, though there is definite foreshadowing in chapter thirteen.

Also I find it hard to imagine your setting. I, personally, am more description oriented and would love to know what Canalave City and the Harbour Inn look, smell feel and taste like. I admit, you do this well in some places, although I find it lacking in others.
I agree, kind of, but that might be because I'm not a description-orientated person. =P I think it's my reasoning of "I could describe something for pages and pages in order to accurately reflect the setting in my head, but no matter what, I know that each individual reader is going to imagine something different," (which is, arguably, why I also seem to spend more time describing the actions of the characters and their interaction with their environment) though I know that isn't an excuse to skimp out on setting. I will try to incorporate it more into the story whenever I go around to edit this story without just info dropping it.

Overall:

You have so far (I'm up to Chapter Nine) captured the emotions and trials in the Darkrai scenario backed up by your great, believable characters.

Good job, is there a PM list or something? I'll try to catch up (my eyes are tired from reading The Quest For The Legends in two days), if I forget a PM when the next chapter comes out would be appreciated.

Cheers.
I don't have a PM list per se, but I'll drop you a PM anyway. If anyone else wants to be PMed when the next chapter comes out, drop me a Visitor Message.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! =)
 
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jirachiman876

The King of Kirby
Hey there Breezeh! So due to annoying circumstances of me going back to college and a evil problems down here, it took me a little more than one day to read it. Luckily I think I got about 2/3 read in this sitting so I can probably get a good review on that stuff.
Anyway, still noticed an insane amount of typos. If you want I can help you before you post the chapter and get rid of them. But if you don't totally understandable.
I'm enjoying the DawnxLucas going on. It's very sweet. I like the contrast of Dawn's thoughts about the island to Lucas' thoughts. It made it fun to read. Also the Lane Dream was fun too. I think that was Cynthia sitting next to him. And to have her cheating? What!
Also the little text in the beginning of the chapters are getting a lot more interesting now. I don't know the significance of it, yet. But I assume in time it'll make more sense. I do like it a lot though.
Anyway, all i all a good chapter, the typos were really the only thing that made it hard to read, since it was hard to figure out what you were really trying to say since some words were left out and some made the sentence completely different.
jirachiman out ;385;
 

Breezy

Well-Known Member
Hey there Breezeh! So due to annoying circumstances of me going back to college and a evil problems down here, it took me a little more than one day to read it. Luckily I think I got about 2/3 read in this sitting so I can probably get a good review on that stuff.
Anyway, still noticed an insane amount of typos. If you want I can help you before you post the chapter and get rid of them. But if you don't totally understandable.
I love you for reviewing, jirachiman, really, but could you point some out now, or in future reviews? =\ Even if you can't point out all the errors due to time constraints or whatever, it would help if you could point out a few just so I can the gist of how bad it is.

I'm glad that you enjoyed this chapter. Some interesting speculation on your part. Thanks for the review!
 

Mallymkun

A lady who's sure
The dream sequences contain a lot of symbolism. I don't remember if I pointed that out before. Like Lance getting killed, for instance. I don't know why, but it struck me as the point where Lane's dreams changed from bizarrely awesome to nightmarish. I also liked how you foreshadowed a bunch of things in your earlier chapters. The Castform card and Squish (is Squish a castform?), the obsession with dragonite and Lance, Lucas's memory of Cyrus's goal and Darkrai...that's just a few. Anyways, I'm glad to see Lucas and Dawn becoming better friends. Even withing chapters, there's appearances of things that foreshadow later events in the chapter. Honchkrow appearing in the latest chapter and Cresselia the significant bird flying across the moon is connected (I think). Or maybe I've been overthinking Lull. ._.

Anyways, keep up the good work Breezy!
 

Breezy

Well-Known Member
The dream sequences contain a lot of symbolism. I don't remember if I pointed that out before. Like Lance getting killed, for instance. I don't know why, but it struck me as the point where Lane's dreams changed from bizarrely awesome to nightmarish. I also liked how you foreshadowed a bunch of things in your earlier chapters. The Castform card and Squish (is Squish a castform?), the obsession with dragonite and Lance, Lucas's memory of Cyrus's goal and Darkrai...that's just a few. Anyways, I'm glad to see Lucas and Dawn becoming better friends. Even withing chapters, there's appearances of things that foreshadow later events in the chapter. Honchkrow appearing in the latest chapter and Cresselia the significant bird flying across the moon is connected (I think). Or maybe I've been overthinking Lull. ._.

Anyways, keep up the good work Breezy!
Squish is a castform-like thing. =P

No comment on the Honchkrow->Cresselia significance (if there is any), though I am glad you seemed to take suspicion with something flying across the moon. Thanks for reviewing!
 

Breezy

Well-Known Member
Hi! This chapter really needs warning, hopefully without me blurting out what’s up ahead. The Lucas/Dawn scene in this chapter is … Let’s just say I took full advantage of the PG-14 rating, specifically the sexual material/innuendo part. It’s nothing super detail and doesn’t go too far, but I know that stuff can make people uncomfortable, if not giggly with awkwardness. I promise it’ll make sense once you get over that initial … bump (you’ll know it when you see it, trust), especially if you hit puberty.

AND AFTER THAT, wear a helmet, ahoy! It's definitely the “violent imagery” part of the rating. Likewise, it's nothing too detailed but it can be upsetting. That or I'm really sensitive. Something. There is blood but nothing gory.

Oh, and it's more cuss happy than usual. Blame Eldritch. And Lucas.

Thanks for reading!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~​

Fight or flee. When your life and the lives of others are on the line, your brain–or is it your gut?–gives you little time to process the situation before presenting these two options. In retrospect, the people who flee tell us they were able to weigh out the pros and cons before deciding to run. For example, some state that they are trained in first aid. Surely if they stayed, they could have gotten seriously injured, and what good will they be then? Others know when a fight is futile; I don't blame them for that. When you ask why the people who fight, well, fight, the most common answer is something like, “It felt like the right thing to do.” People call them heroes. Or maybe they're morons. Lucky morons. Lucky, heroic morons.

I don't say this to insult others, the fleers or the fighters. What you do is up to you. I say it to sympathize with those who left me alone to fight when they knew I desperately needed help. I understand why now, but I'm still angry. I know I'll forgive them one day – I have to. It just might not be soon.

...

Behavior: Careful but quick to action when under threat. Often pries into dangerous or unwanted territory but with good intention. At times, forgetful. Smarter than she appears.

~ ~ ~
Chapter Fourteen
~ ~ ~

He wasn't expecting her to still be awake, let alone awake and still dressed in her daytime clothes, sitting on the couch. Her legs were crossed at the knee, her right foot shaking, her sandal making a “THWACK THWACK” noise when it hit the back of her foot. The television wasn't on, and the only light on was the hanging lamp above the kitchen table. She wasn't distracted by the mundane right now; her sole focus was on her husband.

Alyson leaned back into the leather couch, raising her eyebrows for a second. She poked her tongue against the side of her cheek, her mouth partially opened. “Where were you?” she asked, forehead wrinkling.

“The pub,” he muttered, stamping his shoes on the welcome rug outside before entering the quiet house. He closed the door behind him and locked it. “I needed a drink. It's only thirty minutes past one.”

“Where were you this afternoon?” she specified, uncrossing her legs, pressing her thighs together tightly. She wrapped her fingers around her thighs and squeezed.

“I took Lucas and Dawn to Fullmoon.” He shook off his coat and hung it around his arm. “You know the darkrai myth? They think – actually, I think it's only the girl. But, uh, they think that darkrai may have something to do with Lane's condition. Cresselia is darkrai's counterpart, and it is rumored she lives on that island, so ...”

She gave him a look of disbelief.

“Well, c'mon,” he muttered. “ At least it's a trail. I'm wary about it, too, but at least it's something.”

“It's not that,” she replied after a sharp exhale.

Eldritch strode across the room to sit in the armchair next to the couch, sitting at an angle so he could look into Alyson's face. He placed his coat next to him. He didn't respond.

“You don't remember what we were suppose to do this afternoon?” she said after a few seconds of silence.

He opened his mouth, front teeth scraping against his bottom lip as he let out a deep sigh.

“My appointment,” she answered for him. “Remember now?”

Eldritch closed his eyes and gripped the arms of the chair, the leather crinkling underneath his grasp. A knot built up in his throat, and he tried to swallow it down, resulting in him producing a phlegm that he choked back down with a few coughs. He let out another deep breath. “I know.”

“You knew?”

He nodded, and she began to yell. What the heck, Dan? You knew this was important to me – it should be important to both of us, but nooooo, you were too busy trying to be young and an adventurer. Our kid is in the hospital, Dan, and no one knows why, and you just go off on some little adventure? I mean, for Arceus' sake, we're not twenty anymore. We have a family now. I ask you for one little thing, and you can't do it? I need your help sometimes; I need your support. I can't ...

Alyson's voice grew higher in frequency and speed, and the original point of the argument–him walking in late, him getting drunk instead of meeting her at the hospital, whatever the fuck it was–merged with her weekly bitchery that listed all of Eldritch's problems. It would be so easy–at least in her opinion–if he followed her solutions. Everything, essentially, was his fault. And she was always right. ALWAYS (apparently).

“What do you have to say for yourself?”

“I'm sorry. I guess.”

Alyson inhaled deeply, held it, and exhaled slowly. She looked down, a finger wrapping around a loose thread on her skirt. “That's it?” she murmured.

He leaned back in the armchair, hearing it groan under the pressure. “What else do you want me to say?”

Her eyes rolled to the side, staring at the empty kitchen rather than her husband. “I dunno,” she said, staring at the fruit basket that stood as the center piece of the kitchen table. “I figure what's the point? One of us always has a problem with another, and the other one says they'll try to work on it, but we always end up here, you stumbling in like a drunk or me freaking out on Lane.” She turned her head back toward her husband, not smiling but not angry either. “You don't get it, do you?”

Brown eyes flicked themselves up, staring at the ceiling fan that circulated air throughout the living room. “'I wish you were home more,'” he repeated. “'It's hard to be by myself. I miss you. I never see you anymore.'”

Her nose wrinkled. “You really don't get it. This isn't about you or me anymore.”

“Yes, I've heard that before, too.” He sighed. “'This is about our family–'”

“Stop. No.” Alyson held an arm up and closed her eyes. “Look. You're a great father. You love your son, and the kid loves you so much. But do you even know him?” She crossed her arms. “I get it. You have to go out and work – you don't know when you're going to be called or how long you're going to be out at sea. I appreciate all you have to sacrifice in order to provide for us. It's just ... You being gone, sometimes without him knowing, is hard enough. He's not stupid – he knows we've been fighting. That's just making things worse.”

Eldritch stared past Alyson's head and toward the hallway.

“I mean, he doesn't keep his door open because he's afraid of the dark, Eldritch. He's afraid that he might not hear you leaving. And when you are gone, he wants to know as soon as possible when you come through that front door. It kills me to see him like that.”

“I wasn't expecting to be here.” He couldn't look Aly in the eye. “Things happened too early, too fast. But I fucking try my best, Aly. I want to see him.”

“But not ... me.”

“Aly–”

“It's time one of us addressed the elephant in the room,” she murmured, running her fingers up and down the leather cushion. “We're both ... different. Well, we were always different, but those differences used to work together so well. We both want vastly different things now. We're both in different places.”

“Different,” he mocked.

“Great time to be a wise-ass,” she muttered.

“Sorry.”

“I am, too.” Alyson stood up and straightened out the wrinkles in her blouse, Eldritch's eyes following her. She put her hands on her hips. “You were always an adventurer, Eldritch, and nothing I can say or do will ever change that. It's why I love you and hate you at the same time.” At this, she bit her lip and gazed at her husband uncomfortably. “I don't think this is working out. Do you?”

He paused, still sitting in the chair, his throat dry. He knew what she meant with this vague statement, but he didn't want to agree. He didn't want to beg, or fight, or yell, or cry, or ... anything. “I ...” His voice was hoarse and almost cracked as he saw tears begin to build in Alyson's eyes.

“I ... I feel like you're leaving us behind. I feel like we're holding you back.” She wiped at her eyes, moistening her fingers. “That's how you feel ... isn't it?”

Tied down with wife and child ... Wasn't that the reason he became a sailor, to travel? To escape that? He knew that would bite him in the ass.

“He loves you so much, Dan. I just wish you were here more for him. And now that you're actually here for him, he's not even aware of it.” She shook, head bowed down. Tears streamed down her cheeks, making strands of brown hair stick to her face.

“Aly.” He stood up, but Alyson backed away, standing behind the couch. He wrung his hands together, legs shaking. “I love you. I really do.”

“I know you do. And I love you, too.” She looked up after sniffling loudly, her teary eyes strangely fierce and fiery. “But I really think we need to think about this. Like you said, things happened too fast, too early. I know this, and so do you. Life doesn't work out the way you hoped it would.” She walked toward the hallway and stood at its entrance, gripping the corner where the two walls met.

“By the way,” she added, not turning around. “I'm not pregnant.” She released the wall from her grip before heading down the hallway.

He stood there, staring down the empty corridor.

“... Oh.”

~ ~ ~​

The sound of a twig snapping in the forest awoke Lucas. His eyelids flicked open quickly, eyes straight up toward the night sky. His vision was hazy around the borders; it felt like he had just dropped to the ground after spinning in circles for a minute straight. He turned his head–god, why did his fucking head feel so heavy?–and glimpsed at Dawn. She was still curled up next to him, her mouth partially open as she breathed in and out softly. Her forehead was pressed up against his upper arm, one of her hands squashed under her head and the other pressed against her chest. Her legs were curled into her, her calves pressing against Lucas’ thigh.

He tried to remain still, part so he wouldn’t wake Dawn but mostly because he was sure something–someone–was out there, watching, waiting, and ready (to kill him, to bake pie, to knit sweaters, fill in your own verb-noun combination. Life is a list of Mad Libs). Pressing his entwined hands against his stomach, he listened intently. There, the crackling of a dying fire. Here comes the whistling sea breeze, sweeping through the trees. Hoot, went the watchful noctowl. More focus, Lucas. There’s the sea, rolling back and forth across the shore in a lulling motion. Push, and pull, and push, and pull ...

Sleep, dear child. Close those pretty blues, lovely child. Let Mother Nature and her tender breath cool your hot brow. Think of your past, those delicious memories. Think of your mother. Remember when the two of you used to bake cookies for your class when you were younger? Remember how you loved licking the spoon that stirred the batter? Ah, my child, I see it. I see you smuggling chocolate chips into your pockets only to realize they melted later that night. Let me taste them. Give me a little lick, a small bite. I need this. I need you. I am not asking for much, sweet boy. I have nothing against you, dear boy. I just want a taste.

It's not like I’m going to KILL you or anything.

Lucas inhaled sharply, his eyes opening again. Another snap – the sound of a twig breaking in half, followed by hurried footsteps. It was this, the sound of crunching foliage, the scattering of feet, that finally made Lucas pull his hands out of the warmth of his sleeping bag, grab his pokéball belt with his left hand, and roll over on top of Dawn to grab the bucket of water, throwing its contents onto the remnants of the fire. Smoke spiraled up lazily from the pit.

This awoke Dawn who snorted then let out a few coughs. “What are you doing?” she hissed once she composed herself as Lucas placed the bucket back on the ground. She tried to roll onto her back, but Lucas’ weight had pinned her down, his chest pressing against her arm. She managed to push her shoulders back, causing Lucas to lift himself up, his hands on both sides of her head. He pulled himself up onto his knees, the top half of the sleeping bag pressing against his lower back.

“I heard something earlier and it woke me up, I think,” he whispered. “Actually, I’m not sure. That could have been a dream. But I heard it again.” He curled his fingers, scraping dirt back into his palms. “You didn’t hear it?”

“No ...” she said slowly as she rolled onto her back, staring him straight in the face. She pulled her arms out of the sleeping bag and let them rest above her head, bent at the elbow with her palms skyward.

“I threw the water on the fire just in case it was attracting wild pokémon,” he explained as Dawn raised her right hand and lifted the brim of his beret. She ran her fingers softly down his cheek before wrapping them gently around the back of his neck. It sent shivers up his spine, whether it was from the cool touch or Dawn touching him period. She didn’t seem to notice his nervousness, lowering her eyes so that all Lucas could see was the top of her eyelids and her long eyelashes.

Dawn started to rub the back of Lucas’ neck in small, circular motions. “You look so tense,” she said, fingers gliding down toward his left shoulder and squeezing it. Her other hand trailed down the front of his shirt, feeling his chest through the thin material. “Stop worrying. Nothing’s out there. Relax.” Her gaze shifted upward to peer into his bewildered face.

He had to focus, but it was hard to do so. He was butter under Dawn’s fingertips, melting under the warmth of her touch, the intensity of her fiery gaze. Reality was in his left hand, the leather pokéball belt he was slowly losing his grip on the further Dawn massaged his shoulders. It was awkward–tenfold more than usual–with him hanging above her, elbows straight, knees to the side of her thighs, and her kind of just … lying there, eyes, bright blue, alight from the moon. Her hair was sprawled out across the pillow, messy, strands twisted and tangled together. He had the urge to stroke her hair and brush it off of her face; and he almost did so, releasing his belt from his grip, only to realize what he was doing. He thought quickly, playing it off like he had to scratch his nose.

Focus, he reminded himself, placing his hand back on the ground. For Arceus’ sake, focus. Something might be nearby, and he needed to listen, not be attracted by Dawn’s squirming body underneath him, the slight pout of her full lips, the power of her bright blues – FOCUS, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. If you don’t, you might die, and dying isn’t good. (And if you die, you can no longer play Mad Libs.)

A cold wind, carrying the scent of the salty ocean, swept across his back and entered the forest, rustling the foliage with a pleasant clattering noise. It was a relief, this cold wind, not because Lucas was feeling uncomfortably hot but because cold, as he learned, was Dawn’s weakness. He felt her hands start to weaken, her massage in slower rolls. For a few seconds, he thought he was in the clear as she pulled her hands away. She’s retreating, was his thought, retreating into the warmth of the sleeping bag. Yes. He was going to win.

... Wait, why is that a good thing again? Dawn is ... decent looking, no? Plus she was comforting, admittedly, and he liked massages. (The blunt translation: You idiot, there’s a hot chick underneath you that seemingly wants to do something. Are you five shades of stupid?)

Another noise sounded, this time from within the campsite. Something was unzipping – slowly, too, where it creaked and ticked. There, again: the sound of rustling, the movement of legs. There was another quick puff of wind, this time man-made. Dawn had thrown open the cover of the sleeping bag. His back was exposed to the wilderness, and it left him feeling – holyshitholyshitholyshit. Her leeeegs. Her legs wrapped around him, pulling him down roughly. His hips crashed into hers and hers immediately lurched up.

“Fuck ...” he breathed out.

She brought his face close by lacing her hands behind his head, crossing her legs at the knee. “Hi,” she said sweetly, her breath hot on his clammy skin, before kissing him. It was gentle at first, her bottom lip snug between his, but he wanted more, and apparently so did she, so it got hotter and heavier. He licked her lips, urging, begging her to part those sweet lips, and she complied, her tongue meeting his and battling for dominance. Her legs wrapped around him tighter – god, she was so fucking hot right now, and he could tell she was just relishing in the attention he was giving her. He rolled them over in a wild tangle of limbs and hair so that she was on top of him. His arms wrapped around her lower back. She pulled away and looked down at him, hair draping around the sides of her face.

“Say it,” she said, pulling off his hat to run her hands through his hair soothingly. She pressed her forehead against his, their lips brushing together. He felt his heart leap when she stared into him.

“No,” he replied, squirming, legs shaking.

“Say it,” she demanded again, gripping his hair tighter, which made him yelp. She loosened her grip a bit as she kissed him on the lips, then on the cheek, before sliding down to kiss him on the side of his neck. She stayed there, her head nuzzled in the crook of his neck, her forehead pressed against the side of his face. She flicked her tongue softly against the skin, once, twice, then there was a particularly sharp nibble–

“Daaa ...” he managed to choke out.

She lifted her head. “Say it,” she ordered, an eyebrow raised. “All of it.”

“No,” he argued. “I'm not ... I'm not weak.” He glared at the night sky, trying to avoid her gaze. “I'm not a little kid. You gotta do better than that.”

She continued to lick and nibble at his neck softly, his breath getting caught in his throat before releasing itself in a low grumble. “Say it,” she whispered into his ear seductively before gently biting his earlobe.

It took all of his willpower to stay calm, his body shaking. “No,” he breathed out heavily.

She brought her head up and glowered. Her eyes were blinding and blue.

You stubborn brat. SAY IT.

“I told you.” He grinned at something. Why he was feeling so goddamn smug all of a sudden, he didn't know. “Make me.”

The girl smirked back. “I'll make you freaking scream it.” She kissed him hard again, her legs wrapping around one of his, and grinding into his thigh, and he let out another audible groan through the kiss. Her tongue pushed its way through his lips and overtook him. Her hands released their grip from his hair and trailed down his chest, sending an icy hot sensation running through his veins and concentrating in a particular area below his waist. More unzipping sounded. She pulled away from the kiss, and he stared at her pleadingly as she brought her hand up, licked her fingertips, and brushed them against his lips before moving her hand back down, pushing back layers of denim, then cotton, then–

Another urgent cuss as her hot touch met something that was equally hot, his body lurching forward, and from his mouth he uttered:

“Daaarkrai.”

“What?” asked Barry as he swallowed his mouthful of apple. Juice dribbled down the sides of his mouth. He wiped at it with the back of his hand and proceeded to wipe his now wet hand against the front of his pants. Barry threw the remaining apple core into a nearby metal garbage can. He swung his legs forward, gripping the fence tightly in his hands, staring at his worn-down sneakers.

“Huh?” Lucas replied, scratching the side of his nose. “I didn't say anything.”

“I swear you did.”

“I didn't say anything,” he repeated.

“Right. Well, let's get on it then.” Barry hopped off the fence, feet sinking into the snow. He flung one end of his scarf around his shoulder. “Why did we stop here again?”

Was it a little pathetic to say that he missed Barry? The kid was impatient and got distracted easily, but that's the reasons why the two of them worked so well together. They balanced each other out. Lucas was calm and quiet; Barry was eccentric and loud. Even with these differences, Barry was the only kid that really got him. They had been best friends since they were in grade school, for crying out loud. They started their journey on the same day, pretty much. They were both trainers, bound together by that simple fact, but it was more than that. Barry was pretty much his brother. (He couldn't figure out who was the older one. Lucas appeared to be the more mature one, and he was born a few months before Barry, but Barry was the one that gave Lucas advice, whether intentionally or not.)

He used this to his advantage, Barry's ability to get distracted by nearly anything, in order to stop time for a little bit. Literally, all he said was, “Holy crap, it's snowing!” and it dived into some snow war. Later, they got hungry and decided to eat apples Lucas had produced from his bag. Admittedly, it probably wasn't the best time to stop and get distracted – shit was going at the lake, and Rowan demanded them to get there ASAP.

Life had been giving Lucas the short end of the stick lately. Actually, it was more of a give-and-take situation. For everything good that happened in his life–new gym badge, new pokémon, what have you–something bad happened. He tried to avoid it, sure, but someone would drag him back down. Hell, he was only dropping by Canalave for a gym battle – he wasn't expecting to run into Rowan and that one girl that hung around him all the time. And he definitely wasn't expecting there to be a big explosion that set off a new series of events.

But here they were, somewhere cold. Lucas had to constantly move his fingers to make sure they didn't freeze over. He looked up; it was snowing lightly, adding to the already thick blanket on the ground. A flake landed on his nose, and he stared at it, going cross-eyed.

“Um, hello?” Barry waved a hand impatiently in front of Lucas's face, snapping him out of his thoughts. “Let's gooo already!” He ran ahead, leaving footprints in the snow, leaving Lucas far behind. He continued to watch Barry as he ran through a grove of pine tree. Lucas shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and walked after him, following the trail of footprints.

A burst of flames came from the grove, and Barry and his infernape were sent skidding back, blasting up snow. Barry hit the fence posts hard, though Lucas could still see him moving, one of his hands rubbing the back of his head. The top of Infernape's head melted the snow surrounding them. The two of them stuck out against the white snow with Barry's white-and-orange striped shirt and Infernape's flames.

“Barry!” Lucas cried. “Are you okay?” He started to run over, one hand stretched out, but something locked around his legs and pulled him down. He fell onto his stomach, his arms spread out to his sides, and he felt them get locked down as well. He looked. Ropes had sprung from the ground and tied him down.

Where do you think you are going, child? You think you are in control here?

Lucas struggled against the bindings, but it was to no avail. All he could move was his head. “Barry!” he called out again before gritting his teeth. “I'm still here, Barry!”

He cannot hear you.

Barry let out a loud groan, running a hand through his blond locks, shaking out snow. He slowly got up, his pokémon following suit, and glared into the snowy thickets where a curvy woman with purple hair appeared.

“How silly,” she said, heading toward the shaking Barry, her hips swinging as she walked. A skunktank followed after her, growling, her tail partially hiding her eyes. “I have no idea why you're here, child, but I sure as hell will make you regret it! Skunktank!” She snapped her fingers, and the pokémon jumped ahead of her. “Flamethrower!”

Barry, despite his efforts, had fallen back into the snow, kneeling with one hand pressed against his chest. With one eye twitching, he managed to pant out a command: “Dodge and Blaze Kick!”

The skunktank, while running and kicking up snow in her wake, opened her mouth. A jet of bright orange flames streamlined toward Infernape, but Barry's pokémon quickly jumped into the air, dodging the fire. His right foot was ablaze in flames as he descended toward the ground and his opponent. Skunktank had stopped in her tracks and looked up to watch the infernape fall.

“Poison Jab!” was her trainer's command. Skunktank raised herself onto her hind legs, her two forelegs glowing in purple energy.

The two attacks collided, and although the kick was enough to scorch the skunktank's fur, the power behind her Poison Jab was enough to throw Infernape off and toward the side in a heavy heap. The pokémon rolled over a few times, snow caking around him, before stopping, unmoving, the flames on his head retreating into his body.

“Infernape!” Barry managed to choke out before coughing up blood and phlegm, spitting it onto the ground. The blood sunk into the snow, but the red was still quite visible. Barry had dropped onto all fours, his head bowed down.

He had to try again, still struggling against his bounds. “Barry! She's coming!” Lucas shouted, his throat vibrating. His hands were frostbitten; it felt like thousands of tiny needles were poking at his fingers, but he didn't care, fighting and squirming and grabbing the snow in his hands. “Let me go!”

You brought this on yourself. No one asked you to come here.

The woman had returned her skunktank and walked toward Barry, not before giving his fallen infernape a kick to his stomach. This made both Barry and Lucas yell loudly. She seemed to get a thrill from their reaction, so she kicked the pokémon again.

“Stop it!” Lucas shouted.

You do not seem to get it, do you?

“Barry!” he cried out again. The woman was closer, inches away from his fallen friend.

Everyone needs to survive. This is what I do to survive. It is how I was designed. People think I bear ill will. No. I am simply trying to live. Not everything is pretty. Sometimes you have to do ugly things in order to survive. Everything is layered. Things are not simply bad or good.

I thought you of all people would understand that.

“No ...” Lucas felt tears well up in his eyes as the woman pulled a handgun from behind her back. The white sky made the metal gun glint. It was almost blinding to look at.

Perhaps I was wrong.

She squeezed the trigger, and he squeezed his eyes shut. There was a loud bang, and he heard a flocks of starly fly from the pine trees, chirping in fear.

It all started with starly. I know this well.

Lucas refused to open his eyes even though tears were squeezing their way past his eyelids and dropping into the snow.

I can take this away. All you have to do is say it.

He opened his eyes. Through his tears saw the dead form of his friend and the shades of red deepening the white snow. From his mouth he uttered:

“Darkrai.”

“Hi!” said Lane with a smile.

“Lane?” Lucas asked, confusion in his eyes.

“Detective Lane,” Lane corrected, lowering the brim of his tan hat over his eyes. He smirked as he strode down the supermarket aisle, his long trench coat trailing behind him. Around his shoulders was a black cape tattered at the end. “We're detectives!” he shouted, throwing both of his arms in the air as he walked. “We're doing detective stuff! Remember? WE'RE DETECTIVES!”

Lucas jogged to catch up with him, pushing up the sleeves of his own trench coat that was two sizes too big for some reason. “Why did you have to yell it?” he asked.

“WHY NOT!” Lane spun in circles, his cape swirling around him, and let out a loud laugh. His hand almost knocked over a bottle of dishwasher soap, so he quickly stopped and grabbed the bottle before it fell to the floor. “You remember the mission?”

“Someone's stealing the floor cleanser in aisle nine,” Lucas replied, rubbing his chin. He cocked his own hat over his eyes and grinned. “But why?”

The two of them exited aisle eight, which was the dishwasher aisle apparently, and into the open space, standing next to a bunch of purple candles in boxes. The fluorescent lighting was dim; some bulbs were complete blacked out or cracked. Still, it gave enough light for Lucas to examine the dusty old market: the floors were stained with something red and sticky, and the shelves were close to bare (except for the heavily stocked dishwasher aisle, where there was so many brands of dishwasher soap that it took up two entire aisles). Lane and Lucas stepped forward and hid behind a few boxes of cereal as they peered down aisle nine. The only person down the aisle was an elderly woman standing near an empty cart. She was short, wearing tattered brown clothing. A hood covered her head, though straggly strands of brown hair poked out, like twigs.

“I think she's one of them,” Lane whispered. The elderly woman, with her wrinkly hands, grabbed a large bottle of Mr. Mime Floor Cleanser™, and placed it in her cart. She grabbed another bottle of Mr. Mime Floor Cleanser™ and stacked it on top. “C'mon!”

Lucas nodded. “Excuse me, miss,” he said as he took wide strides to walk down the aisle. Lane had to half run, half skip to keep up with him. The elderly woman looked up, her arms wrapped around a big bottle of Mr. Mime Floor Cleanser™. “Do you mind if I take that bottle? I need one, and you seem to have plenty.” He made a grab for the bottle, but the woman pulled away. She raised her hood a little, her pink eyes glaring at the two detectives.

“I know who you two are,” she said in a creaky voice, hands laced together in front of the bottle of the Mr. Mime Floor Cleanser™. Lucas noticed her nails, a pattern of pink, blue, and yellow. “And you both need to get out of here before it gets too late. Go home.”

“Give me the bottle,” he demanded. “Give me the bottle of Mr. Mime Floor Cleanser ... er, TM.” He made another swipe for it, but the old lady pulled away. She threw the bottle in the cart, turned around, and proceeded to bonk Lucas on the head with a closed fist.

“Stupid child. Don't say I didn't warn you,” she murmured as she wheeled the cart in the opposite direction. She turned the corner, leaving behind a dazed Lucas and a giggling Lane.

“She got you good,” Lane said with a wide grin.

“I think she's using the bottles to smuggle out–”

“Shh!” Lane warned, pointing up to a purple cup on the upper shelf. “I think we're being listened on.”

Lane was too short to reach the shelf where the cup was, so Lucas grabbed it, kneeling over a bit so Lane could hear, too. They both held their ears to the cup.

“There's two of them in the aisle this time,” they heard the elderly woman say. “The bigger, uglier one tried to take one of my bottles.”

Lane stifled his laughter as Lucas rolled his eyes to the side. He placed the cup back on the shelf.

“Come on. She couldn't have gotten far,” Lane said, brushing past Lucas. “We can catch up!”

I see you have met this child before. When you dream, you sometimes dream of people you have not met but only seen. He is interesting. His imagination is vivid and light. He is not tainted. He has not the experiences that you, dear boy, have had. I tried to sustain my need off of his darker energy–his fears, his worries–but he has none. What he dreads is nothing unusual for someone of his age. But my search continues; I will find something that will feed me.

“Lucas!” Lane was at the end of the aisle, waving at him. “This way!”

You are trying to save him. Is that correct?

Lane had turned the corner by the time Lucas had taken off behind him, sneakers squeaking on the linoleum. His trench coat swished behind him.

I am sorry.

Lucas turned the corner and felt his breath get caught in his throat.

I cannot allow that to happen.

“Cyrus,” he whispered, taking a few steps back as the older man advanced forward. Instinctively, Lucas reached for his belt, his hands roaming his side for his pokéballs. He couldn't find any. Alarmed, the boy took a few more steps backward before turning around fully and running for it. He turned his head. The Galactic leader, with his menacing stare, his furrowed brow, his mouth in a frown, ran – no, glided behind him.

He is MINE.

The walls of the supermarket somehow disappeared, and he was running up a steep incline, pebbles grinding beneath his feet before rolling down the hill. He almost tripped, his hand scraping the ground, but he quickly picked himself up, gasping for air. The land began to level out; the dirt path had turned itself into cobblestone. Tall, stone pillars surrounded him, though they weren't holding anything up. His foot kicked a rock, letting it skip across the cobblestone until it collided with a pillar.

The end: he had reached a cliff. Lucas turned around and backed into a pillar, pressing against it as if he would somehow sink into it. The wind had picked up, blowing wildly and loosening Lucas's scarf from around his neck. It twisted and turned in the air until it got stuck around another stone column. Cyrus had stopped gliding and was walking toward him slowly, hands behind his back. His eyes were shining in the daylight, a bright, icy blue.

“What do you want? You took everything from me already!” Lucas yelled above the whistling wind, gripping onto the pillar. “I'm as messed up as you!”

Cyrus said nothing, continuing to walk toward him. From behind his back he pulled out a red chain that glinted and glared in the sun; it was almost blinding to look at. When he approached Lucas, he swung the chain in front of his eyes.

Is this him?

Cyrus walked behind the pillar and grabbed Lucas's hands. Lucas heard something rattle and snap. He tried to pull his arms away but found that he couldn't. Cyrus had chained him to the pillar using the red chain he had sought to make for so long. Lucas turned his head; his pokémon were there, clinging onto his heavy torterra. Honchkrow was flapping his wings against the wind as his claws dug into the tree that sat on top of the beast's back. Magmortar had slammed his feet into the ground in order to keep himself from falling over in the heavy wind, though one of his claw cannons was pressed against Torterra's side. The flames on his shoulders and head danced wildly. And there was sweet baby Riolu grabbing onto Torterra's right foreleg, his eyes clenched shut. He was the smallest, of course, and the most apt to be blown away. Cyrus had noticed them.

This is he who causes you the most distress to you, correct?

“Get out of here!” Lucas's voice was hoarse; he had to swallow a few times to build up saliva.

Honchkrow was the first to leave, spreading his wings and allowing the wind to take hold of him. Magmortor was next. His claws transformed into cannons, and he blew a bright ball of orange energy into the ground, creating a hole and jumping into it. Torterra, the lazy daydreamer, refused to move, beady eyes staring into him. Riolu was still gripped tightly around his leg.

“Get out of here, Torterra!”

The torterra glared back.

“Forget me! Leave! That's an order!”

The torterra blinked rapidly a few times and lifted a heavy foot, making Riolu squeak and let go. The heavy beast slowly turned around and walked away, fading away into the dust.

I see you have nightmares about him.

Riolu fell flat on his rump, red eyes blinking back tears. He said his name a few times before wiping at his cheeks and scrambling onto his feet, dirtying his black paws. His ears peeled back. Riolu noticed Lucas's scarf tied around the pillar. He smiled, dashing over to it and pulling it free, wrapping it around his arms.

“Riolu,” he begged, pulling at the chain, but the chain held fast. “Forget me. Leave.”

But I am not sure that he is what you fear the most.

Riolu only grinned and held the scarf out. He began to totter toward him, walking on the balls of his feet. He stood at Lucas's shoes and held his arms out, trying to give back the article of clothing Lucas had worn throughout his journey.

“I ...” Lucas pulled at the chain again, still unable to free himself. Since Lucas didn't reach out toward him, Riolu wrapped the scarf around Lucas's right ankle and curled himself on top of his shoes, closing his eyes and sighing peacefully despite the situation. “Thank you, Riolu.”

Cyrus is what made you think about it, yes, but he is not the cause of it. I know what you are afraid of. You try so hard to hide it. That only makes it easier for me to find.

Something sharp bit at Lucas's ankle and stayed there, making him yelp. He looked down, and Riolu wasn't there; instead there was something gray and shapeless. The being turned his eyes–blue, wide, and cold–toward him and grinned. Blood oozed out between the castform's teeth, and Lucas felt himself being drained of energy. His back slowly slid down the pillar, and his vision was starting to get misty. The gray being released himself from Lucas's leg as the boy's bottom reached the ground. Lucas breathed heavily, taking in the heavy dust that coated the insides of his mouth.

You are afraid of losing them, the only beings in this world that stayed by your side no matter what. You are afraid of what you have been trying to seek out ever since you became champion.

You think you want to be alone.

The castform had transformed itself back into Riolu's shape, though his mouth was still bloody. He smirked.

“You're not scared, are you?” the riolu-castform being asked tauntingly.

No, child. That is not correct at all.

Lucas shook his head, panting. The blood from the being's bite had pooled around his leg and was slowly creeping toward him. It took most of his energy to raise his head and look toward the cloudy sky. The clouds were moving fast, like time was passing at a high speed.

You are AFRAID of being alone.

“I'm not scared,” Lucas said slowly. He coughed a few times; he saw specks of blood fly out with his saliva. He took in a few deep inhales of dusty air and exhaled once, loudly. Through his blurry vision, he saw Cyrus stand before him. He knelt to the ground so he could see eye-to-eye with the champion.

“I'm not fucking scared of you,” he repeated firmly. “YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THAT!”

You are going to regret that, you stupid child!

Cyrus' body contorted, twisted, and his mouth opened and peeled back until fire burst forth and a demon released itself, white wisps of smoke surrounding his shapeless body. It opened its mouth, revealing its jagged, sharp teeth before zooming in toward the restrained trainer.

~ ~ ~​

“Dream Eater!” she cried. “Again!”

Dawn's clefable fluttered her wings and raised both of her arms. Her eyes glowed a bright gold, and she brought her hands up. The energy traveled from her eyes to her hands and shot out, surrounding Lucas's head. It seemed to be working for a minute; the boy's distraught face started to relax and his limbs, pinned down by Dawn's hands and legs, stopped struggling against her hold. But then a black energy snapped back, crackling in the air and shooting back at the clefable, knocking her off her feet. Once more, the boy started to shake and murmur.

“Darkrai ...” he murmured through dry lips. “Darkraiii ... watching.”

“Myth! Are you okay?” Dawn looked up worriedly from Lucas's shaking state to her pink pokémon. The clefable hopped back onto her feet and nodded firmly. She exhaled deeply, blowing up the curl on her forehead.

“Piiiip!” Dawn's piplup chirped frantically as he tried his best to restrain Lucas's flailing feet.

Dawn turned her head. “Oh, Pip. Myth, help him, please.”

The clefable waddled over toward the penguin and pinned down Lucas's left foot with her hands as Pip used all of his weight to pin down the other foot. Dawn turned her attention back toward the boy beneath her, his arms pinned under her hands. His face went through a series of emotions, more than she had ever seen the boy expressed ever. Anger, happiness, sadness, confusion ...

“Lucas, wake up,” she begged, collapsing on top of him and sobbing into his shoulder. “Please ... Please just wake up ...”

Something above her cried out, but she couldn't make heads-or-tails of what it was nor did she really care at the moment to try and distinguish it. Still, Dawn had pulled herself together and raised her head, staring into the night past the trees. There was another battle cry (this time, she could make out a flourished “Liaaa!” at the end), and she saw something overhead.

It was, dare she say, beautiful ... whatever it was, with the crescent moon as its backdrop. At first, she thought it was mesprit because of the pink, blue, and yellow color scheme, but the thing was too big to be mesprit, and this was one weird place for mesprit to be anyway. No, this thing was almost swan-like with long, slender features that curved together to form wings and a long neck connected to a pointed head. She didn't know; she couldn't really tell from down there. It seemed to be glowing, but Dawn figured that was a trick of the moon's eerie lighting. Something pink glinted. She figured that was the being's eyes. They were staring straight at her before resting on Lucas's body.

And like that, it took off, not before exclaiming another, “Liaaa!” Feathers. Lots of long feathers spiraled down toward Dawn, their bright colors visible in the moonlight. For a moment, everything was still except for these dancing feathers as they descended toward the campsite. Dawn felt her breath get caught in her throat as she watched them fall ever-so-gracefully, some getting caught in the tops of trees and some flying out toward the sea. Some of them managed to settle into their cozy campsite; a couple even fell on top of the sleeping bag. Dawn reached out and caught one with her hand. She observed it, holding it by the shaft. These were the same types of feathers she had collected earlier.

“Cresselia?” she questioned.

Her query went unanswered; no more battle cries echoed themselves through the trees, and no more feathers spun dizzily toward her. She sat up, looking toward Lucas, one hand still clutching the feather. Lucas groaned, and his eyes flickered open lazily.

Now, if this was one of Dawn's romantic fantasies, Lucas would have said something much more romantic. Something along the lines of, “Dawn, my love! Why are there tears in your eyes? Don't cry for me!” And he would sit up, wrap his arms around her and press his forehead lovingly against hers. But no. What was the first thing he uttered?

“Why are you sitting on me?”

She groaned. Lucas lifted his head but flinched and settled back down on the pillow. Dawn quickly scrambled off of him as Myth and Pip jumped off his legs and ran toward his head. The boy looked up toward the sky through half-opened eyes. Dawn could tell he was ready to crash again. She pulled the cover of the sleeping bag over the tired boy's body and sat next to him, legs curled underneath her. She ran a hand soothingly through his hair.

“Sleep,” she whispered. The boy obeyed, closing his eyes. “I'm here. I'll take care of you. I promise.”
 
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Air Dragon

Ha, ha... not.
First post? Wow, that wasn't so hard...

Bad Eldritch! Bad Lucas! How dare you hurt innocent ears?! No cookie for you!

There. Scolded. Now, let's review...

To be honest, this chapter was a bit tough to follow after the Alyson-Eldritch encounter. (You can really tell how both feel about the prospect of a second child. You do the emotions thing so well.) We had Dawn turn the moves on Lucas, Barry get shot, Lane investigate missing detergent and Cyrus chasing Lucas up Spear Pillar all jumbled together so randomly I felt dizzy for a few minutes. The only part I was disappointed about was the first bit, although the ending made up for it. :)

Now you make me REALLY want to know what happened to Lucas and Barry. Darn it... :)

Sometimes I hate it when you do such a good job. ^_^

Gotta run now, Bree! L@er!
 

Fire Angel

Crazy Person
I've been a lurker on these forums for quite some time, closet-reading this fic and a few others, but something about reading this chapter really made me want to come out here and review. I'm new to this, but I'll give it a shot.

First, I must say that I really like this story. The characters are all diverse and interesting to read about, and I especially like Lucas and Dawn. There are some really interesting interactions between them, and Lucas's (?) overviews of everything at the beginning of the chapters are neat.

And I like how you've managed to take such a small in-game event and turn it into something with a lot of depth.

Now, for this chapter, what I really want to say is about Lucas's nightmares. When I reached the part with Jupiter shooting Barry, I sat and stared at the screen with my mouth hanging open. I cannot believe that happened. I wonder now: Was that just a weird Darkrai-induced nightmare, or did that really happen? Because if it did... O_O

After about the twenty minutes it's taken me to decide to register, to actually register and write this review, I'm still shaking. Still because of Barry being shot. I hope that was just a nightmare: I've always liked Barry.

So, good job with this story, and I'll be watching this!
 

jirachiman876

The King of Kirby
Of course the "sex" scene was a dream... It did seem pretty off. But it was all very well done. Loved the chapter again Breezeh. I really liked the dream sequence with Lucas. it was very interesting to see all the different scenes. He seems pretty messed up now, getting some looks at his past. If it's the past at all, and not some crazy nightmare. But ya, really enjoyed the nightmares here and the explanation as to why Lane didn't really have any nightmares as of yet if any are planned in the future.
I liked the scene with Eldritch and Alyson. I felt as if I was really in Eldritch's shoes. Seeing it all really crumble around me. I'll be sad if they do split. Though that may not happen because of Lane. But meh.
Anyway, great chapter overall. Loved it all.
jirachiman out ;385;
 

Breezy

Well-Known Member
Bad Eldritch! Bad Lucas! How dare you hurt innocent ears?! No cookie for you!

There. Scolded. Now, let's review...

To be honest, this chapter was a bit tough to follow after the Alyson-Eldritch encounter. (You can really tell how both feel about the prospect of a second child. You do the emotions thing so well.) We had Dawn turn the moves on Lucas, Barry get shot, Lane investigate missing detergent and Cyrus chasing Lucas up Spear Pillar all jumbled together so randomly I felt dizzy for a few minutes. The only part I was disappointed about was the first bit, although the ending made up for it. :)
Thanks for the comment on the Aly-Eldritch part. I was a bit worried that it would get too sappy or too dramatic. I think the original plan was a huge, huge fight but ... eh. This way kind of worked better. =P

The dream sections ... In a way, I did want them to be confusing and jumbled like that since dreams are kind of scattered and sometimes merge together. I did try to put in subtle "scene" breaks. One of them was whenever Lucas said "Darkrai", the dream would change. Darkrai's narrative was also suppose to slow down the speed of the dreams, but ... I dunno if that worked, haha. You did pretty much get what was going on. =P

The first bit ... Do you mean the "getting it on" scene? Apologies if that's the case. Lol. I'm glad you felt the ending redeemed it, though!

Now you make me REALLY want to know what happened to Lucas and Barry. Darn it... :)

Sometimes I hate it when you do such a good job. ^_^

Gotta run now, Bree! L@er!
Ah, Barry. He's an interesting character without really being a character. Something did definitely happened between Barry and Lucas though, I'll tell you that. =P

Thanks for the review, Air Dragon! =)



I've been a lurker on these forums for quite some time, closet-reading this fic and a few others, but something about reading this chapter really made me want to come out here and review. I'm new to this, but I'll give it a shot.
Well, welcome to the forums. =P And thanks for reading!

First, I must say that I really like this story. The characters are all diverse and interesting to read about, and I especially like Lucas and Dawn. There are some really interesting interactions between them, and Lucas's (?) overviews of everything at the beginning of the chapters are neat.

And I like how you've managed to take such a small in-game event and turn it into something with a lot of depth.
Yeah, I'm changing "Lucas'" to "Lucas's" in a bit. Lol.

I'm glad you're enjoying the story! Lucas and Dawn is a pairing I've never worked with before--at least with Lucas's type of personality in this story--so it makes writing about them all the more intriguing and tiring. The last chapter really did leave me exhausted. The overviews really worked out wonderfully; at first they were just fun little side notes that gave us a little more view into Lucas's world. But now they do have a purpose besides general rambling. It should be a fun reveal when I reach the end of the story.

It's a little crazy when I think about it. My original layout for this story didn't pass the seven chapter mark. I'm pretty glad I trashed it because I wouldn't have had the time to develop the characters and make you love/hate them as much as you do now. I definitely wasn't planning on the one-sided romance anyway. =P

Now, for this chapter, what I really want to say is about Lucas's nightmares. When I reached the part with Jupiter shooting Barry, I sat and stared at the screen with my mouth hanging open. I cannot believe that happened. I wonder now: Was that just a weird Darkrai-induced nightmare, or did that really happen? Because if it did... O_O

After about the twenty minutes it's taken me to decide to register, to actually register and write this review, I'm still shaking. Still because of Barry being shot. I hope that was just a nightmare: I've always liked Barry.

So, good job with this story, and I'll be watching this!
Yes, Barry is still alive in reality. =P If it helps, Lucas has mentioned Barry a few times before:

"Oh, I don't know his name. That blond kid you hung out with. He ran off after we let him keep that chimchar. You two screamed like sissies when a flock of starly attacked you. Remember?"

"Oh, Barry? And starly can be fierce in flocks, you know."

"Uh huh. But either way, what happened to him?"

Lucas shrugged. "I don't know. I lost track of him after ..." He trailed off.

Repress it, Lucas. It's over.

Dawn gazed at him worriedly and nudged him in the shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Lucas blinked a few times, nodded, and recapped his sweaty hair. "We just ... drifted apart I guess. Last I heard he was going to the Battle Frontier. I was going to head there, too."
Though admittedly, I can see how this dream might seem real -- Lucas often mentions Barry from the past instead of the present.

I will say it was a darkrai-induced dream. However, the darkrai in this story likes to pry around in the minds of his prey and create a nightmare for them based on things that they are somehow attached to. I think the only exception would be the Lady Caitlin/Darach dream since I did only write that dream for the lulz. =P


Up to you if you wanna analyze the Barry/Jupiter dream a bit more. Like I said earlier to AD, something did happen between the two friends. If you read some of Lucas's journal entries, you can kind of figure out what happened in a general sense. Barry is also mentioned when Lucas had/is having girl problems.


Thank you for the comments! =) And thanks for reading once again!





Of course the "sex" scene was a dream... It did seem pretty off. But it was all very well done. Loved the chapter again Breezeh. I really liked the dream sequence with Lucas. it was very interesting to see all the different scenes. He seems pretty messed up now, getting some looks at his past. If it's the past at all, and not some crazy nightmare. But ya, really enjoyed the nightmares here and the explanation as to why Lane didn't really have any nightmares as of yet if any are planned in the future.
Mm, it's a little of both, part past and part crazy nightmare. Darkrai in this story creates nightmares based off some part of his prey's pasts, though they're usually not straight copies of actual events. Like Lucas and Cyrus were both on top of Spear Pillar once and it did mess with Lucas's brain a bit, but I can definitely say that Cyrus didn't chain him up there using the Red Chain. =P

Glad you caught that bit about Lane not really having nightmares yet. Bahaha. At least not super intense ones like Lucas had.

I liked the scene with Eldritch and Alyson. I felt as if I was really in Eldritch's shoes. Seeing it all really crumble around me. I'll be sad if they do split. Though that may not happen because of Lane. But meh.
Anyway, great chapter overall. Loved it all.
jirachiman out ;385;
Glad you liked it. =) Still got a bit to develop with Eldritch and Aly, too. Rawr, I dunno how I'm going to fit all of this in a few more chapters without the chapters sounding like they're filler. I'll figure something out. =P

Thanks for reviewing!
 

Fire Angel

Crazy Person
But now they do have a purpose besides general rambling. It should be a fun reveal when I reach the end of the story.

Well, I'm interested to see what that's about.

Yes, Barry is still alive in reality. =P If it helps, Lucas has mentioned Barry a few times before:

Though admittedly, I can see how this dream might seem real -- Lucas often mentions Barry from the past instead of the present.

I tend not to take things at more than the obvious face value =P but the dreams seemed like something that would have more of a hidden meaning and not just state the obvious, which is why I asked about Barry. But I can see now that the nightmares are more symbolic and more about inner fears than something that actually happened to the person.

So now I can go back and try to analyze all of Lane's dreams, or just take them as wacky and outlandish nightmare sequences like I have been. Lucas is begging for more analysis now, anyway, so I need to take another look at him instead of just hating him for being a jerk to Dawn like I used to. XD

Speaking of Dawn, I wonder what her nightmares would be...
 

Breezy

Well-Known Member
I tend not to take things at more than the obvious face value =P but the dreams seemed like something that would have more of a hidden meaning and not just state the obvious, which is why I asked about Barry. But I can see now that the nightmares are more symbolic and more about inner fears than something that actually happened to the person.
It's a mix of the two, really. At the very least, the actual real life event, if the dream/nightmare is based off one, serves as a backdrop. The Cyrus nightmare took place at Spear Pillar, and the Barry nightmare took place around Snowpoint and Lake Acuity ... vaguely. I didn't mention it but you could assume that, I guess. =P Lucas's dreams are more symbolic, definitely.

In opposite of that, Lane's dreams seem more symbolic but are kind of based off real life events. You just gotta look into the narrative to figure out what that real life event was. I won't point them out in case you wanna try on your own. =P

Let me try to rephrase this because I just confused myself. Haha.

Lucas's dreams appear like actual events that happened to him, but they're actually symbolic for his fears/personality (though the actual event may serve as a backdrop). It's also why the first dream he had was the "getting it on" scene in the campsite with Dawn to kind of trick you into believing that it's real (inorite, I'm mean). My goal with Lucas's dream was for the readers to use what they know about Lucas to interpret his dreams (assuming they want to read into them).

Lane's dreams, because they're so random, seem more symbolic but they are somewhat based off of real life events, past or future. That isn't to say there isn't symbolic imagery, though. My goal with Lane's dreams was for the readers to use the dreams to figure out what's going on in Lane's life (again, assuming they want to read into them). For example, another popular symbol in Lane's dream is him getting his trainer's I.D. From that you could safely assume that Lane really wants to be a trainer. =P

The overall goal for both dreams was that you could read them and just be freaked out by the bizarreness and enjoy the random imagery. At the same time, if you wanted to go back and analyze them, there would be enough depth to them. I thought really hard about how to handle the dreams; I didn't want them to be overly convoluted because I knew the narrative is pretty hard to handle sometimes. Likewise, I didn't just want to slap together random scary imagery and have them mean nothing (okay, maybe a couple of them are like that =P). I also wanted a story where if you did want to read it again, there might be a new connection you haven't seen before.

Sigh, lol. I seriously put too much thought into this story. I think all of the layering is worth it. It's fun for me at least. XP

So now I can go back and try to analyze all of Lane's dreams, or just take them as wacky and outlandish nightmare sequences like I have been. Lucas is begging for more analysis now, anyway, so I need to take another look at him instead of just hating him for being a jerk to Dawn like I used to. XD
Yeah, pretty much all I said up there was said in your sentence here. XP

People's opinions of Dawn and Lucas are interesting. I know a few readers dislike Dawn for being so nosy around Lucas, and I know a few readers that dislike Lucas for being a jerk to Dawn. I think that's a good thing. =P I hope so anyway.

Speaking of Dawn, I wonder what her nightmares would be...
I think I was going to have her ramble about a dream or two in earlier chapters.

Hmm ...

Yeah, there was a scene where Eldritch was taking Lucas and Dawn to Fullmoon Island, and Dawn was trying to get Lucas to talk like always by talking about her dreams but I took it out since it was filler. Not so much nightmarish, though.

Interesting ... Now I'm thinking about it. =P You could probably make a guess if you use chapter twelve as your basis (the Dawn-heavy chapter) along with her fantasies about her and Lucas. I'll get back to you on this one haha.
 
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EonMaster One

saeculum harmonia
As always, your flair for the dramatic (not to mention the slightly bizarre) continues to impress.

I think I mentioned how much I like the way you write your characters, and as always, you've found a way to outdo yourself.

The scene between Aly and Eldritch was raw in a way that few writers really ever achieve. With a scene that's supposed to carry so much gravitas, it's really easy to step over the line to melodrama. But it was understated while not losing a fraction of the weight. I have to admit that, at first, when I was stacking up priorities of which characters I cared about (because readers do that, you know), Lane was at the top of the list, with Lucas and Dawn second and Aly and Eldritch somewhere near Professor Rowan. But a scene written this well has brought the fate of Aly and Eldritch and their relationship into the forefront of my mind, even moreso because they're Lane's parents. Lane could wake up, but there's a good chance that in one way or another his life may never be the same again. Never mind the psychological effects of being stuck in a dream world where the outlandish is perfectly normal. The ending of one's parents' marriage can have serious effects on a child, and now that it's been brought into play, readers that want good endings want the best ending possible for Aly and Eldritch for Lane's sake.

Congrats for making Lucas even harder to figure out. At the moment, I'm thinking that scene with Dawn was perhaps a taste of what Lucas would be like if he was normal - perhaps still a safety-conscious adventurer because that's his personality, but also a normal teenage boy with the appropriate hormones. ;)

And, as AD said, I really want to know what happened with Lucas and Barry now. Maybe Barry represents, in a way, Lucas' boyhood as a whole, and the fact that the whole business with Team Galactic mercilessly gunned it down in cold blood, even though Lucas himself survived.

And the scene with Lucas and Lane...was Lucas Looker and was Lane Lucas?

Crap balls. Brain cramp.

Awesome job. 5 Starmie out of 5...and waffles. I'm going to go massage my temples now.

*staggers out, leaving waffles behind*
 

Breezy

Well-Known Member
As always, your flair for the dramatic (not to mention the slightly bizarre) continues to impress.

I think I mentioned how much I like the way you write your characters, and as always, you've found a way to outdo yourself.
You know, this is surprising to me, too. I mean, I never like bragging about my characters or stories, but I feel like every chapter is somehow a little better than the last one. I'm only afraid that the next chapter is going to be lackluster or something. XP

The scene between Aly and Eldritch was raw in a way that few writers really ever achieve. With a scene that's supposed to carry so much gravitas, it's really easy to step over the line to melodrama. But it was understated while not losing a fraction of the weight.
Oh, goody. I'm glad it came off that way. I was worried about this scene and it was, surprisingly the hardest scene for me to write in this chapter (Lucas's dream scenes literally just flowed from my fingertips once I got the basic idea down). I think I said this earlier with another reviewer, but I definitely didn't want something melodramatic/blown-out-of-proportion but not something where the reader would be asking, "Um, why is she including this." I would take note of this scene for later; it'll be important. =P

[quote[I have to admit that, at first, when I was stacking up priorities of which characters I cared about (because readers do that, you know), Lane was at the top of the list, with Lucas and Dawn second and Aly and Eldritch somewhere near Professor Rowan. But a scene written this well has brought the fate of Aly and Eldritch and their relationship into the forefront of my mind, even moreso because they're Lane's parents. Lane could wake up, but there's a good chance that in one way or another his life may never be the same again. Never mind the psychological effects of being stuck in a dream world where the outlandish is perfectly normal. The ending of one's parents' marriage can have serious effects on a child, and now that it's been brought into play, readers that want good endings want the best ending possible for Aly and Eldritch for Lane's sake.[/quote]Lol, if I was reading this instead of writing it, I'd probably stack it that way too. Maybe even Lucas on top since I'm such a Lucas fanboy. XP Most of what you said will be seen later. I'm glad you took some interest in it.

Congrats for making Lucas even harder to figure out. At the moment, I'm thinking that scene with Dawn was perhaps a taste of what Lucas would be like if he was normal - perhaps still a safety-conscious adventurer because that's his personality, but also a normal teenage boy with the appropriate hormones. ;)
Really? I thought the dreams would help analyze him a bit more. XP Though I suppose once something about Lucas is answered, something new comes up that baffles you.

I did touch on what Lucas was like before all the Team Galactic stuff a bit in the last chapter, though it was kind vague. Like you said, he'd be safety-conscious, quiet, down-to-earth, and in some ways antisocial, like he doesn't know how to communicate his thoughts with others. In some ways, he's the antithesis of Barry, who is impatient and loud.

Speaking of Barry ...

And, as AD said, I really want to know what happened with Lucas and Barry now. Maybe Barry represents, in a way, Lucas' boyhood as a whole, and the fact that the whole business with Team Galactic mercilessly gunned it down in cold blood, even though Lucas himself survived.
Ooh, good analysis. =)

And the scene with Lucas and Lane...was Lucas Looker and was Lane Lucas?
I didn't mean that intentionally, but I guess you could make the connections. They're just detectives. The Lane-Lucas connection is interesting, though. You might possibly see more of that later if I decide to insert it.

Crap balls. Brain cramp.

Awesome job. 5 Starmie out of 5...and waffles. I'm going to go massage my temples now.

*staggers out, leaving waffles behind*
WAFFLES!!!~ I hope your brain doesn't hurt that badly. ;)

Thanks for the R&R!
 

Mallymkun

A lady who's sure
Flocks of long feathers spiraled down toward Dawn, their bright colors visible in the moonlight.

And that's the only problem I saw. I'm not sure if "flocks" is a good measure word for feathers. But oh well.

Dream analysis time (sort of)! I'm glad you made Lucas's dreams more complex than Lane's but not overly complex so it doesn't seem dreamlike anymore. But ugh, everything I wanted to say has already been said.

Like everyone else, I want to know what really happened to Barry. I'm sure he's not dead, but something must've serious must've happened if Lucas sees him dying in his dream (or it could just be something mean cooked up by darkrai). Barry has been mentioned in previous chapters, but they were vague and I simply cast him aside as "Lucas's fun-loving friend."

That scene with Lucas and Lane though. Was that the real Lane in darkrai dreamland or something else, like a symbol of how carefree and adventure-loving the old Lucas had been? Or maybe both?

The ending was awesome. Dawn really likes her myths, doesn't she? XD Anyhow, nice job as always with the writing! ♪
 

Breezy

Well-Known Member
And that's the only problem I saw. I'm not sure if "flocks" is a good measure word for feathers. But oh well.
Yeaaah. I think I was actually aware that I was typing "flocks" too and I liked the sound of it. Of course, this was at 3am. >_> Will change it to something better. =P Thanks for reminding me.

Dream analysis time (sort of)! I'm glad you made Lucas's dreams more complex than Lane's but not overly complex so it doesn't seem dreamlike anymore. But ugh, everything I wanted to say has already been said.
Well, if you need anything cleared up, just holler. ;P

Like everyone else, I want to know what really happened to Barry. I'm sure he's not dead, but something must've serious must've happened if Lucas sees him dying in his dream (or it could just be something mean cooked up by darkrai). Barry has been mentioned in previous chapters, but they were vague and I simply cast him aside as "Lucas's fun-loving friend."
I'll be honest; I wasn't planning on having Barry in this story at all. Then suddenly he became a reference here and there. Now he's possibly a major motif. Haha. The original idea that the thought of Barry would refer back to Team Galactic, but ... eh, I figure I could use Barry better.

As for something happened between the two boys ... Well, you'll see. =P It was something mean cooked up by darkrai, but there's a basis for it.

That scene with Lucas and Lane though. Was that the real Lane in darkrai dreamland or something else, like a symbol of how carefree and adventure-loving the old Lucas had been? Or maybe both?

The ending was awesome. Dawn really likes her myths, doesn't she? XD Anyhow, nice job as always with the writing! ♪
It wasn't real life Lane (who, as we know, is trapped in darkrai's dreamland) entering Lucas's dream. It was just Lucas dreaming of Lane. That idea did enter my mind, but I think that would be too fantastical (yes, really, that's where I drew the line, haha). He's more of a symbol, like you said, and kind of a taunt toward Lucas from darkrai. The whole "Look, you still can't free this kid and he's standing. right. next. to. you." Admittedly, it was also a plot device; having Lane in Lucas's dreams allowed me to explain why Lane's dreams aren't so nightmarish yet.

And yes, Dawn loves her myths. =P Thanks for reading and reviewing! =)
 

Trainer Robert

Well-Known Member
Phew, took me awhile, but manage to read all of the chapters. While I have to say, I'm not into most of the things, that are in these later chapters. But just couldn't help but to read on XD

I can defnitly understand. That Berry was like, the friend Lucas never had. Like him being the other half of Lucas, and probably what keeps him normal and up beat. But ever since Berry seperated, Lucas felt like he was alone in the world. Without Berry around, to him. It feel's lonely and quiet without his friend around.

Barry is the chain, which was tied up too in one of his dreams, that held him together through out the years. Keeping him company and give reason why he started out his journey.

Atleast, thats my theory : P

As for the Dawn and Lucas scene..Those are the ones, I'm not really into XD That and I was really lost at first @_@. I was about to say with my mouth open wide. "When did Dawn, get the courage?!" lol XD.

I enjoyed all of the chapters, though I don't have time to review, as I'm not really good at that sort of stuff. But I can't wait for the next chapter.
 

Mallymkun

A lady who's sure
It wasn't real life Lane (who, as we know, is trapped in darkrai's dreamland) entering Lucas's dream. It was just Lucas dreaming of Lane. That idea did enter my mind, but I think that would be too fantastical (yes, really, that's where I drew the line, haha). He's more of a symbol, like you said, and kind of a taunt toward Lucas from darkrai. The whole "Look, you still can't free this kid and he's standing. right. next. to. you." Admittedly, it was also a plot device; having Lane in Lucas's dreams allowed me to explain why Lane's dreams aren't so nightmarish yet.

And yes, Dawn loves her myths. =P Thanks for reading and reviewing! =)

Ah, okay. When I read that bit, I actually thought that the real Lane is in Lucas's dream. That would've trippy. But yeah, now that I think about it, that would've been too fantastical. I noticed that Darkrai doesn't create dreams out of nothing. It just takes what's already in the dreamer's mind and warps it. But why does having Lane in Lucas's dream make Lane's dreams less nightmarish?

Dawn loves myths, we all know that, but a Clefable named Myth? I can see why Lucas feels like ಠ_ಠ towards Dawn for most of the story and also why he also thinks she's humorous.
 

Breezy

Well-Known Member
I can defnitly understand. That Berry was like, the friend Lucas never had. Like him being the other half of Lucas, and probably what keeps him normal and up beat. But ever since Berry seperated, Lucas felt like he was alone in the world. Without Berry around, to him. It feel's lonely and quiet without his friend around.

Barry is the chain, which was tied up too in one of his dreams, that held him together through out the years. Keeping him company and give reason why he started out his journey.

Atleast, thats my theory : P
It's a good theory. =P Barry is one of Lucas's closest and most trusted friend -- I would go as far to say he was what kept Lucas steady. Having lost that bond--at the very least, a weakened bond--has taken its toll on Lucas.

In case anyone else is reading this, I did drop a clue about them drifting apart way back in chapter four when Dawn was asking what happened to Barry. You can draw your own conclusions, but there was also a more literal reason why the dream with Barry was tied to Team Galactic.

As for the Dawn and Lucas scene..Those are the ones, I'm not really into XD That and I was really lost at first @_@. I was about to say with my mouth open wide. "When did Dawn, get the courage?!" lol XD.

I enjoyed all of the chapters, though I don't have time to review, as I'm not really good at that sort of stuff. But I can't wait for the next chapter.
Lol, I'm glad you managed to get through that scene. XP I hope it didn't make you too uncomfortable, though you seemed to be amused by it. =P Thank you for reading; I'll try to get to your story as soon as I can!


Ah, okay. When I read that bit, I actually thought that the real Lane is in Lucas's dream. That would've trippy. But yeah, now that I think about it, that would've been too fantastical. I noticed that Darkrai doesn't create dreams out of nothing. It just takes what's already in the dreamer's mind and warps it. But why does having Lane in Lucas's dream make Lane's dreams less nightmarish?

Dawn loves myths, we all know that, but a Clefable named Myth? I can see why Lucas feels like ಠ_ಠ towards Dawn for most of the story and also why he also thinks she's humorous.
I'm not sure how to explain it without making my brain explode, ha. It's not that having Lane in Lucas's dreams makes Lane's dream less nightmarish. It's that having Lane in Lucas's dreams gave Darkrai a chance to subtly explain why Lane's dreams aren't as chaotic as Lucas's yet:

I see you have met this child before. When you dream, you sometimes dream of people you have not met but only seen. He is interesting. His imagination is vivid and light. He is not tainted. He has not the experiences that you, dear boy, have had. I tried to sustain my need off of his darker energy–his fears, his worries–but he has none. What he dreads is nothing unusual for someone of his age. But my search continues; I will find something that will feed me.
Darkrai is pretty much saying Lane is too carefree for Darkrai to create, and essentially eat, his nightmares. I mean, in ways they are scary for an eight year old in the pokemon world, like not getting your trainer's license, or your hero, in cartoon mode, getting killed, or almost getting run down by trains (well, okay, that one might be traumatic, lol, but Lane doesn't get why it is. I can point out the quote for this one too if you want) but it's nothing too intense or mind-twisting. They're just really ... bizarre. Besides the structure, Lucas's dreams, for example, made some more sense.

Kind of a two birds, one stone sort of thing. Darkrai is taunting Lucas by having Lane in his dreams and is explaining why (to the readers unknowingly ;P) Lane's dream aren't so wtfish like Lucas's. If I failed explained this again, just let me know and I'll try again.

Bahaha, I was wondering if someone was going to catch Myth's name. It'll be a joke in the next chapter. =P But besides a jab at Lucas, I thought Myth was a good name for a Clefable. Fable, myth. Hyuck, hyuck.

Your banner is adorable btw. <3
 
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