Starlight Aurate
Just a fallen star
Hey there! I'm not so new to the fanfic section, but I may be unfamiliar due to my amazing inactivity here. This is my second work that I've posted, and it's just a simple one-shot. I feel that things are wrong with it and need to be fixed, but I'm just not sure what needs fixing or how I can fix it. Please, if you'll post, give me some advice I can work with. So, I hope you enjoy! And if you don't, I'll do my penance for my sin.
The snow crunched underfoot as Eltheo walked over and picked up the corpse. There was some blood flowing into the white, puffed fur. Wrenching the arrow out of the delicate body of the little Buneary, Eltheo put the slender piece of wood back into his quiver and looked up.
Snowflakes were gently falling onto the ground from the afternoon sky, continuously layering it with more frozen water crystals. Eltheo was suppose to come outside and hunt for his family, for though it was already winter, the autumn hunting had proved rather unsuccessful, and the boy, who would be a man within less than a year, had to go hunt during the harsher weather of winter to feed those he lived with.
He sighed deeply, yet again feeling that small amount of hopelessness as his dream was dashed yet again. Stuffing the Pokémon into a bag, which he slung over a shoulder, he began to descend the mountain slope toward his home. The sweet scent of pines filled his nostrils as he walked under the cover, his chestnut-brown hair ruffling a little as a slight breeze blew in his face.
I know you're real, the boy thought sorrowfully. He knew, of course, as well as some other villagers, but not everybody believed it. Some villagers would feel rather lifted at the thought of hunting and bagging the beast, but others believed it to be only a legend. Nonsense, some had called it. Why would anyone believe that--Eltheo's recollections were interrupted, and his face blanched.
A flash of hooves, a branch of antlers! Eltheo had seen it, he knew, without a doubt, that the creature had passed not five meters from him! Spirits lifting, the boy promptly dropped the bag of dead creatures and sprinted the way it had passed. Ecstasy turned his frown into a grin, and as he sprinted through the forest, Eltheo tastefully pictured himself presenting the Pokémon to the other villagers. How their eyes would burn with jealousy, how their breath would catch with disbelief! Eltheo relished the thought of it.
The boy came to a stop as the trees cleared away, trying to make his breathing as soft as possible. His amber eyes were set on the Pokémon in the center of the clearing, drinking in the beast's appearance, and his gloved hands slowly reached for his bow.
The enormous, widespread antlers of the Mebukijika rocked as the great elk-like Pokémon strolled. Copious amounts of fluffed, cloud-white fur covered its chest, and the tail that wiggled at the end of its rear looked rather like cotton. The ebony-black hooves were hidden beneath the deep snow, but would show as the Pokémon lifted them clear off the layer on the ground. Eltheo could only think of this creature as magnificent, standing so tall and proud, looking so perfect. And yet, none of its characteristics compared with the one other that set it apart. What made this particular Mebukijika more significant than others was the fact that its fur, instead of being brown, as one would normally see in the winter, was white, like freshly-washed, unspoiled wool.
The lethal wood weapon now in his hands, Eltheo removed his right glove before he reached into his leather quiver for an arrow. He drew it out, and set it on the raised bow, pulling the string back until the Noctowl feathers were touching his cheek bone.
However, rather than loosing fire, he hesitated for a moment. He had been in such a hurry to kill the creature, but now he wasn't sure he absolutely wanted to. He would have loved to wear the Pokémon's coat as his own, and to have dined on its meat, but it seemed almost a shame to kill it. It was so beautiful, a creature of legend, and were legends not meant to be passed on down, to be seen with the eyes of others to keep them alive and fresh?
As Eltheo was pondering this, the Mebujikija noticed he was there. The Pokémon gracefully raised its great head, staring at the pale boy with large, benevolent eyes of liquid gold. Then, in a flurry of kicked-up snow, it was gone, and could be seen cantering through the trees far away.
Eltheo sprinted after it, thankful that there was no wind to slap his face and that snow wasn't falling very thickly. He dodged around the coniferous trees, trying to keep the Mebujikija in sight, but it was impossible after a few seconds as the Pokémon disappeared. This did not demoralize Eltheo, for the trail of hooves was clearly on the ground, showing the boy where the Pokémon had passed.
A stone, hidden beneath the thick blanket of snow on the ground, tripped Eltheo. He fell forward, but tried to break his fall by turning it into a roll. Perhaps this normally would've been a good idea, except that he wasn't aware of the sudden declining slope ahead of him. Tumbling down the hill, Eltheo reached the bottom and tried to get up, but had to kneel down due to his dizziness.
The boy wiped snow off his face, and looked around him. The trail of the Mebukijika had vanished, and Eltheo found himself in a valley, with cliffs sloping high above his head, every one completely white. The snow was falling more thickly now, and the boy pulled his fur coats around him more tightly as he, again, tried to stand. Succeeding in staying on his feet, Eltheo tried to grasp his surroundings. He had lost all sense of direction since following the white Mebukijika, and so he decided to head back into the forest.
After wondering through the woods for half-an-hour, Eltheo finally admitted that he did not know where to go. He was able to back-track his trail for a while, but it kept on growing fainter and fainter as snow continued to cover it. Eventually, he was no longer able to make out the path. The boy looked up at the sky, and all around him. Everything looked the same: White sky, white ground, white branches, white, white, white.... It seemed as if the world had become devoid of color. The only things that weren't colorless were the trees, with brown trunks and some visible needles, and his body.
Eltheo decided that the only thing he could do was to keep on walking; he was bound to find something familiar eventually. However, the longer he trotted on, the more tired and hungry he became. Often, he would lose his footing and fall down into the snow, and each time was harder to get up than the last. He dearly wished that he had never left behind his bag of game; his family would be so upset, and they would have to go with less food until the weather was okay for hunting again. He also wished he had his right glove back, as the uncovered hand was becoming numb from the cold, despite Eltheo slipping it inside his coat.
Once again, Eltheo left the woods, but when he came out onto cleared land, it didn't look familiar at all. The ground was rocky, and sloped downward into a valley before sloping upward in other parts. The boy buried his face in his coat as the wind, now very strong and blowing much snow, stung his face. It was as though somebody was taking icicles and jabbing them through his skin. Eltheo tried to walk back into the woods, but misplaced his foot and slid down the slope, landing in a heap in about half-a-meter of snow. The boy tried to stand, but his legs did not want to move, they would rather just curl up under the furs of his overcoat and rest. Shivering, Eltheo covered his head with hands, almost feeling as though he was going to cry. He was going to die, and he knew it. There was absolutely no way he would be able to regain his feet and walk back home; he was too tired and hungry. He shivered from the cold as he felt it numbing his body. Eltheo cursed violently as he lay there, cursing the Mebukijika and its legends that had made it so prized and wanted. It had been a magnificent creature, but sighting it was most certainly not worth dying for.
Closing his eyes, Eltheo thought of everybody he loved: his family, his friends, and everyone in his village. He wished there was some way he would be able to redeem himself for all the wrongs he had done them in the past, though it was becoming more difficult to remember what he had done. Allowing himself one last smile, Eltheo willed himself into his immolation as he gradually slipped into unconsciousness.
"I love you all..," he whispered these words gently, aware that they were his last, before his mind went blank.
The snowstorm felt nothing short of wonderful. Piercing, cold air and snowflakes pecking one as they flew was refreshing and exhilarating. To put it bluntly, it was perfect. His wings, thick with bright cerulean feathers, kept him warm, and any snowflakes that hit his eyes did not harm them. Flying through the mountains was nothing out of the norm for Articuno, yet it was an enjoyable pastime of which he was naturally suited for.
He saw something dark on the ground as he glided through the blizzard. Normally, he may have thought it to be a rock. But because he was flying low, he was able to make out that the figure was no stone; it had legs that were slightly apart, and was mostly covered in thick, chestnut-brown fur. This, in and of itself, was not unusual to happen, for many people and Pokémon died in the mountains. And yet, as though he felt it some sort of duty to examine the creature, Articuno tilted his wings and slowly flew down to the shape on the ground.
Close up, he was able to see that it was a human. The boy’s bangs, the same color as the coats he wore, fluttered before his unmoving eyelids. He had, apparently, not lain there for very long, for most of him was still visible above the snow. A faint trace of blood wafted around his body.
Articuno's piercing, crimson eyes stared at the human indifferently. The boy had killed mountain creatures, the bird knew. He had hunted and murdered the mountain's Pokémon in a season when they were most scarce, though this was not completely a bad thing. All creatures had to eat, and even Articuno would kill other Pokémon to fill his own stomach; it was the natural way of things. Feeling some empathy for the human, the enormous Pokémon grabbed the boy in his talons, and took off through the blizzard, leaving behind a hole in the snow blanket on the ground where the pair had once been.
Marya opened the door as soon as the snowstorm had calmed. She peered outside, concerned. Eltheo had not made it home yet, and the heavy blizzard had gone on for at least two hours. She had experienced first-hand the dangers being out in a snowstorm in the mountains, and realized how fortunate she was to still be alive. Worried that her son may have gotten lost out there, she was prepared to look for him, even though her chance of finding him was slim.
Upon pulling the door open, however, it became apparent that there was no need to go outside. Lying on the doorstep, with his hat and bow missing and face white, Eltheo lay. Whether he was asleep or unconscious, she knew not, but Marya made no hesitation in sweeping her son up in her arms and hustling inside with him.
The boy woke less than an hour later to find himself on the couch in the family room, with his mother holding a cup of heated soup. Ravenous, he had quickly devoured the mixture. After he had finished, he told his mother what had happened, from finding and catching the game to seeing and chasing the white Mebukijika up until he passed out. All while he told her this, he just tried to stare at anywhere but her, usually glancing guiltily at the floor or fidgeting with his pillow. Her face remained stony and expressionless, as though she was undecided on how she was to react to all this.
As to how he had wound up on the doorstep, he was every bit as surprised as his mother. He remembered passing out in the storm, and doubted he could have slept walked back home through it, especially when he had no idea where he had been.
When Eltheo finished telling the story, he slumped back on the couch and stared uncomfortably at his mother. Her expression had softened a little, and she took a seat down beside him. She was not as angry as Eltheo had anticipated; the lines on her face seemed a little more prominent at the prospect of less food, but she did allow herself a wan smile.
"I'm not as upset as I may have been, had I not been so concerned about you," she told her son. "I'm happy you're alive, and that really is what's most important right now. I don't totally blame you for getting lost."
"You don't?" Eltheo's eyes widened in slight disbelief as his mother wrapped her arms around him.
"No, I don't. Once, when I was a little older than you, I went on a hunting trip with my father. It was winter then, too, but it was fairly warm without as much snow as usual, and so my father thought it would be safe to try and hunt. Later on, we had gotten lost, and a strong snowstorm came. I felt certain that we were going to die, but then my father saw a giant bird, blue and shining in the sky. 'Follow the shining bird!' he shouted out. He had to shout, for it was impossible to hear each other otherwise. My father believed the bird to be good luck, and so we followed it. Eventually, we did get home after following it for around twenty minutes, but we had lost our bows, traps, and food in the snowstorm."
Marya sighed as she finished her monologue. She looked so weary and stressed that Eltheo's guilt formed a tight knot around his heart.
"I'm sorry I lost the food and chased after the Mebukijika. I should have known that I wouldn't have been able to bag something like that, anyway. I really am sorry, mom," Marya's son murmured sadly.
Marya just nodded her head a few times. "It's all right, Eltheo. We'll be more tightly pressed on food, but I think our family will be able to make it through until spring." She sighed again as she said, "I suppose it is partly my fault that you went after the white Mebukijika, and that I should have told you not to go after it when you saw it, or that it didn't exist. I didn't want to lie to you, but I had also doubted that you'd ever find it."
Eltheo’s dark eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You knew it existed?"
Giving out a small laugh, Eltheo's mother stood up as she replied, "Yes, I did. Going after it is the reason your grandfather and I got lost in the first place."
Lures of a Legend
The snow crunched underfoot as Eltheo walked over and picked up the corpse. There was some blood flowing into the white, puffed fur. Wrenching the arrow out of the delicate body of the little Buneary, Eltheo put the slender piece of wood back into his quiver and looked up.
Snowflakes were gently falling onto the ground from the afternoon sky, continuously layering it with more frozen water crystals. Eltheo was suppose to come outside and hunt for his family, for though it was already winter, the autumn hunting had proved rather unsuccessful, and the boy, who would be a man within less than a year, had to go hunt during the harsher weather of winter to feed those he lived with.
He sighed deeply, yet again feeling that small amount of hopelessness as his dream was dashed yet again. Stuffing the Pokémon into a bag, which he slung over a shoulder, he began to descend the mountain slope toward his home. The sweet scent of pines filled his nostrils as he walked under the cover, his chestnut-brown hair ruffling a little as a slight breeze blew in his face.
I know you're real, the boy thought sorrowfully. He knew, of course, as well as some other villagers, but not everybody believed it. Some villagers would feel rather lifted at the thought of hunting and bagging the beast, but others believed it to be only a legend. Nonsense, some had called it. Why would anyone believe that--Eltheo's recollections were interrupted, and his face blanched.
A flash of hooves, a branch of antlers! Eltheo had seen it, he knew, without a doubt, that the creature had passed not five meters from him! Spirits lifting, the boy promptly dropped the bag of dead creatures and sprinted the way it had passed. Ecstasy turned his frown into a grin, and as he sprinted through the forest, Eltheo tastefully pictured himself presenting the Pokémon to the other villagers. How their eyes would burn with jealousy, how their breath would catch with disbelief! Eltheo relished the thought of it.
The boy came to a stop as the trees cleared away, trying to make his breathing as soft as possible. His amber eyes were set on the Pokémon in the center of the clearing, drinking in the beast's appearance, and his gloved hands slowly reached for his bow.
The enormous, widespread antlers of the Mebukijika rocked as the great elk-like Pokémon strolled. Copious amounts of fluffed, cloud-white fur covered its chest, and the tail that wiggled at the end of its rear looked rather like cotton. The ebony-black hooves were hidden beneath the deep snow, but would show as the Pokémon lifted them clear off the layer on the ground. Eltheo could only think of this creature as magnificent, standing so tall and proud, looking so perfect. And yet, none of its characteristics compared with the one other that set it apart. What made this particular Mebukijika more significant than others was the fact that its fur, instead of being brown, as one would normally see in the winter, was white, like freshly-washed, unspoiled wool.
The lethal wood weapon now in his hands, Eltheo removed his right glove before he reached into his leather quiver for an arrow. He drew it out, and set it on the raised bow, pulling the string back until the Noctowl feathers were touching his cheek bone.
However, rather than loosing fire, he hesitated for a moment. He had been in such a hurry to kill the creature, but now he wasn't sure he absolutely wanted to. He would have loved to wear the Pokémon's coat as his own, and to have dined on its meat, but it seemed almost a shame to kill it. It was so beautiful, a creature of legend, and were legends not meant to be passed on down, to be seen with the eyes of others to keep them alive and fresh?
As Eltheo was pondering this, the Mebujikija noticed he was there. The Pokémon gracefully raised its great head, staring at the pale boy with large, benevolent eyes of liquid gold. Then, in a flurry of kicked-up snow, it was gone, and could be seen cantering through the trees far away.
Eltheo sprinted after it, thankful that there was no wind to slap his face and that snow wasn't falling very thickly. He dodged around the coniferous trees, trying to keep the Mebujikija in sight, but it was impossible after a few seconds as the Pokémon disappeared. This did not demoralize Eltheo, for the trail of hooves was clearly on the ground, showing the boy where the Pokémon had passed.
A stone, hidden beneath the thick blanket of snow on the ground, tripped Eltheo. He fell forward, but tried to break his fall by turning it into a roll. Perhaps this normally would've been a good idea, except that he wasn't aware of the sudden declining slope ahead of him. Tumbling down the hill, Eltheo reached the bottom and tried to get up, but had to kneel down due to his dizziness.
The boy wiped snow off his face, and looked around him. The trail of the Mebukijika had vanished, and Eltheo found himself in a valley, with cliffs sloping high above his head, every one completely white. The snow was falling more thickly now, and the boy pulled his fur coats around him more tightly as he, again, tried to stand. Succeeding in staying on his feet, Eltheo tried to grasp his surroundings. He had lost all sense of direction since following the white Mebukijika, and so he decided to head back into the forest.
After wondering through the woods for half-an-hour, Eltheo finally admitted that he did not know where to go. He was able to back-track his trail for a while, but it kept on growing fainter and fainter as snow continued to cover it. Eventually, he was no longer able to make out the path. The boy looked up at the sky, and all around him. Everything looked the same: White sky, white ground, white branches, white, white, white.... It seemed as if the world had become devoid of color. The only things that weren't colorless were the trees, with brown trunks and some visible needles, and his body.
Eltheo decided that the only thing he could do was to keep on walking; he was bound to find something familiar eventually. However, the longer he trotted on, the more tired and hungry he became. Often, he would lose his footing and fall down into the snow, and each time was harder to get up than the last. He dearly wished that he had never left behind his bag of game; his family would be so upset, and they would have to go with less food until the weather was okay for hunting again. He also wished he had his right glove back, as the uncovered hand was becoming numb from the cold, despite Eltheo slipping it inside his coat.
Once again, Eltheo left the woods, but when he came out onto cleared land, it didn't look familiar at all. The ground was rocky, and sloped downward into a valley before sloping upward in other parts. The boy buried his face in his coat as the wind, now very strong and blowing much snow, stung his face. It was as though somebody was taking icicles and jabbing them through his skin. Eltheo tried to walk back into the woods, but misplaced his foot and slid down the slope, landing in a heap in about half-a-meter of snow. The boy tried to stand, but his legs did not want to move, they would rather just curl up under the furs of his overcoat and rest. Shivering, Eltheo covered his head with hands, almost feeling as though he was going to cry. He was going to die, and he knew it. There was absolutely no way he would be able to regain his feet and walk back home; he was too tired and hungry. He shivered from the cold as he felt it numbing his body. Eltheo cursed violently as he lay there, cursing the Mebukijika and its legends that had made it so prized and wanted. It had been a magnificent creature, but sighting it was most certainly not worth dying for.
Closing his eyes, Eltheo thought of everybody he loved: his family, his friends, and everyone in his village. He wished there was some way he would be able to redeem himself for all the wrongs he had done them in the past, though it was becoming more difficult to remember what he had done. Allowing himself one last smile, Eltheo willed himself into his immolation as he gradually slipped into unconsciousness.
"I love you all..," he whispered these words gently, aware that they were his last, before his mind went blank.
The snowstorm felt nothing short of wonderful. Piercing, cold air and snowflakes pecking one as they flew was refreshing and exhilarating. To put it bluntly, it was perfect. His wings, thick with bright cerulean feathers, kept him warm, and any snowflakes that hit his eyes did not harm them. Flying through the mountains was nothing out of the norm for Articuno, yet it was an enjoyable pastime of which he was naturally suited for.
He saw something dark on the ground as he glided through the blizzard. Normally, he may have thought it to be a rock. But because he was flying low, he was able to make out that the figure was no stone; it had legs that were slightly apart, and was mostly covered in thick, chestnut-brown fur. This, in and of itself, was not unusual to happen, for many people and Pokémon died in the mountains. And yet, as though he felt it some sort of duty to examine the creature, Articuno tilted his wings and slowly flew down to the shape on the ground.
Close up, he was able to see that it was a human. The boy’s bangs, the same color as the coats he wore, fluttered before his unmoving eyelids. He had, apparently, not lain there for very long, for most of him was still visible above the snow. A faint trace of blood wafted around his body.
Articuno's piercing, crimson eyes stared at the human indifferently. The boy had killed mountain creatures, the bird knew. He had hunted and murdered the mountain's Pokémon in a season when they were most scarce, though this was not completely a bad thing. All creatures had to eat, and even Articuno would kill other Pokémon to fill his own stomach; it was the natural way of things. Feeling some empathy for the human, the enormous Pokémon grabbed the boy in his talons, and took off through the blizzard, leaving behind a hole in the snow blanket on the ground where the pair had once been.
Marya opened the door as soon as the snowstorm had calmed. She peered outside, concerned. Eltheo had not made it home yet, and the heavy blizzard had gone on for at least two hours. She had experienced first-hand the dangers being out in a snowstorm in the mountains, and realized how fortunate she was to still be alive. Worried that her son may have gotten lost out there, she was prepared to look for him, even though her chance of finding him was slim.
Upon pulling the door open, however, it became apparent that there was no need to go outside. Lying on the doorstep, with his hat and bow missing and face white, Eltheo lay. Whether he was asleep or unconscious, she knew not, but Marya made no hesitation in sweeping her son up in her arms and hustling inside with him.
The boy woke less than an hour later to find himself on the couch in the family room, with his mother holding a cup of heated soup. Ravenous, he had quickly devoured the mixture. After he had finished, he told his mother what had happened, from finding and catching the game to seeing and chasing the white Mebukijika up until he passed out. All while he told her this, he just tried to stare at anywhere but her, usually glancing guiltily at the floor or fidgeting with his pillow. Her face remained stony and expressionless, as though she was undecided on how she was to react to all this.
As to how he had wound up on the doorstep, he was every bit as surprised as his mother. He remembered passing out in the storm, and doubted he could have slept walked back home through it, especially when he had no idea where he had been.
When Eltheo finished telling the story, he slumped back on the couch and stared uncomfortably at his mother. Her expression had softened a little, and she took a seat down beside him. She was not as angry as Eltheo had anticipated; the lines on her face seemed a little more prominent at the prospect of less food, but she did allow herself a wan smile.
"I'm not as upset as I may have been, had I not been so concerned about you," she told her son. "I'm happy you're alive, and that really is what's most important right now. I don't totally blame you for getting lost."
"You don't?" Eltheo's eyes widened in slight disbelief as his mother wrapped her arms around him.
"No, I don't. Once, when I was a little older than you, I went on a hunting trip with my father. It was winter then, too, but it was fairly warm without as much snow as usual, and so my father thought it would be safe to try and hunt. Later on, we had gotten lost, and a strong snowstorm came. I felt certain that we were going to die, but then my father saw a giant bird, blue and shining in the sky. 'Follow the shining bird!' he shouted out. He had to shout, for it was impossible to hear each other otherwise. My father believed the bird to be good luck, and so we followed it. Eventually, we did get home after following it for around twenty minutes, but we had lost our bows, traps, and food in the snowstorm."
Marya sighed as she finished her monologue. She looked so weary and stressed that Eltheo's guilt formed a tight knot around his heart.
"I'm sorry I lost the food and chased after the Mebukijika. I should have known that I wouldn't have been able to bag something like that, anyway. I really am sorry, mom," Marya's son murmured sadly.
Marya just nodded her head a few times. "It's all right, Eltheo. We'll be more tightly pressed on food, but I think our family will be able to make it through until spring." She sighed again as she said, "I suppose it is partly my fault that you went after the white Mebukijika, and that I should have told you not to go after it when you saw it, or that it didn't exist. I didn't want to lie to you, but I had also doubted that you'd ever find it."
Eltheo’s dark eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You knew it existed?"
Giving out a small laugh, Eltheo's mother stood up as she replied, "Yes, I did. Going after it is the reason your grandfather and I got lost in the first place."
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