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Making the World Go 'Round [GtI]

Venia Silente

[](int x){return x;}
Scenario Notes:
Firuz is a human Isekai'd into the PMD world of "Gates to Infinity" as a Tepig. Early during the plot of Gates, Firuz, here going under the name 'Feremiz', has been assisting their team boss Vorylina with various tasks as they look for information about a three-headed dragon Feremiz sees in his dreams. Weeks have come and gone doing chores - until suddenly Feremiz notices a "little shop of horrors" near the town plaza that no one had bothered to check before.

----


A summer morning under the rising sun, Firuz the hu-er, Tepig, went about the edge of Post Town, idling behind his partner Vorylina. This was what, week twelve or so of his misadventures? Running errands, doing community service around town, chasing outlaws, having nightmares every once in a while; all under a more or less false name and in the hopes of -last he checked with the Axew- building a paradise.

'Feremiz', as he was going around now, yawned. He would have liked to focus on some other things if they only had the resources for that, such as searching for the three-headed dragon in his dreams, but coin was hard to come by so Community Service was it today.

The two Pokémon reached to the gates of the town at last, or that was what he made of the dull voices all around... including Vorylina's.

"…at least a fair amount of quintales, if there's a bonus for selling Seeds…"

He was admittedly not paying attention, only following the Axew's tail for guidance, lost in his tiredness and his own thoughts... he just went by looking around the place and not minding anyone's business except for noticing that, as had become usual since last week, people were hushing about a criminal Pokémon lurking around town.

"…all it takes is ooooone distracted moment while you are outside and BAM!"

"All I'm saying is, if a Pokémon is 'foreign-looking', wouldn't that be something easy to notice?"

Feremiz's mind didn't even register the argument but he was inclined to agree. He absentmindedly registered the scents of many familiar Pokémon around. How hard would it be to recognize that you don't recognize a Pokémon?

"…betcha it has huge predator eyes to boot, too! And fangs like these."

"Fa's 'm concern' som'n s'gonna approach ma'kid, am gonn' smack t'er head from h're to the Glacia-"

"…The Archen? That's Tracer or something, come on! ...The new recruit! He came to the shop to sell scales friggin' YESTERDAY!"

True, everyone was being leery of each other and in general being unfriendl...ier.

"-Ow! Feremiz damn it!"

"Oh?"

Even Vorylina was testy these days, it seemed; the soft crunch of dirt underneath her feet as she turned was little warning for the roar that she let out square into the Tepig's ears.

The male frowned and was about to complain back when he noticed that the Axew had stopped and he, lost in thought as he was, had just stomped on her tail without noticing.

"Sorry..." he offered begrudgingly as he stepped off her and circled around.

"Seriously," the Axew answered. She swung her tail a few times, shook herself and glared back at him. "Shouldn't you be paying attention?"

"Uh-"

She tensed and straightened her posture, her scales rattling faintly. "Your day will feel short if you spend it sleepy and distracted you know."

"I don't... not sleep because I want to," he spat.

A brief silence.

"-Oh, the dreams again."

Feremiz tilted his head and looked away, allowing himself to let his sight wander around, which lasted for a moment. He finally heard a buff from the Axew.

"Well uh... Cheer up? There's some distractions for the day. You can check the travelling merchants?" She pointed him to the far end of the plaza where there was a creek and a road that went downhill, only the tops of a few tents could be seen that way.

The Awew and Tepig shared looks for a moment until finally Feremiz sighed. "Yeah I can do that one."

"Who knows," she added, "maybe one of the travelling merchants has seen your three-headed dragon."

Feremiz frowned at his partner and finally nodded. "What about you?"

"Coins in, coins out," answered Vorylina, pointing to the team's bag. "And keeping an eye on any scams Dunsparce might fall into."

"See you later then?"

"Later, luck."

The two Pokémon patted each other for a goodbye and headed each their way. Feremiz crossed the Plaza and headed to the far end of town, passing over a water stream, and easily reached the end area, in lower and much less frequented terrain. From the rumours going around, tenants didn't exactly like the place because it was less visible and they found the Cofagrigus hosting a store there... creepy. All Feremiz saw when he arrived at the end stands was a Mienfoo hastily setting up one of the Visiting Stands; Cofagrigus' store was closed.

Not really feeling like up much for things, though, Feremiz decided to ignore the two shops there and went to sit by a third, unoccupied stand by the side, one that he could recall having seen a number of times, always empty.

Feremiz looked around the place. It was just a half-made stand made of some logs serving as a wooden counter where various little trinkets and ornaments lay, as well as random embroideries, and an open tent giving some sunshade. The Tepig took a look at the trinkets, there were such as a twirling wool stripes, leather cords painted with various colours, little silver coins, scrolls and at the very centre of the desk a small cap-like object made of some soft material.

Now that one was at least somewhat interesting, and unique among the objects in the tent. The Tepig approached and examined it. Small, apparently mushroom like with a nice red and a white half and a circle-like pattern in the middle, and not much of a mushroom-like odor at least. He felt it reminded him of a Poké...something.

Feremiz wondered what made this particular object unique and why it and everything else was left unguarded. His Tepig side got the best of him and he approached to sniff the object, and while he thought for a moment that he saw it wiggle, he found nothing strange and leaned closer.

"...Boo!" spoke the little ball-like top suddenly, adding a wiggle for effect.

"...Aaaah!" Feremiz almost skipped a heartbeat as he yelped and jumped back. Indeed, the little ornament had moved!

"Ooooh? You look like a good customer."

"...L-like what?" Feremiz breathed hard a couple of times, still taken aback. "...Wha? What are you?"

"Well look around, I'm a shop tenant!" spoke the creature.

Feremiz inched closer, lowering his head so that he could look under the cap. What met him was the eyes of this sort of... creature, this little mushroom-like blob. Now the Tepig could understand how it had gone unnoticed for so long- but why?

"You are... a Pokémon then," he spoke tentatively.

"D'uh look *who's* speaking," answered the creature in a surly tone. "And you are a totally native Tepig, aren't you?"

"I er–"

Feremiz could not help but step back and look away for a moment.

"Well, pioneer," spoke the creature wiggling, "don't just stand there! Are we going to trade or talk?"

"I'm sorry," the Tepig excused himself. "I'm new around here and I don't... I don't really know that many people."

The creature seemed to snicker at the comment. "'People', eh? Get comfy with them, don't worry about the ones back home then. Well, I've seen you around for a while."

Feremiz did not like the comment about the townspeople, if he had interpreted the creature's tone right; he dug his feet on the ground in response as he wondered what the creature meant with other people back home, feeling uneasy around the critter.

"Well and who- what are you anyway?"

The creature hopped around the desk, inching closer, and "bowed" to the Tepig. "I guess you haven't seen anyone like me before. And I'm not even a rare sight like say a... a... let's see..." the Foongus seemed to think for a moment and hushed. "...three-headed dragon".

Feremiz frowned and tensed. The idea raced by his mind that if this creature had been listening- or even spying...

He turned to look for Vorylina wondering if it was a prank or something but no, for starters from his position he could not see to the town plaza, only the tops of some stores such as the Box Buster. He wondered for a moment if he had actually gotten up from a night of sleep.

"And good thing I'm not as rare!" continued the creature, bringing Feremiz back to reality. "See, this is my little super-secret store, and I have good passcodes and wares if you have coin."

"Pass...codes...?"

"Yeah, the cool stuff. Now, who might you be, pioneer?"

"I'm- well..." Feremiz froze and looked down to his Tepig feet for a moment. It always took him a moment of surprise when he woke up every morning, to fully swallow that sensation that even if he was who he thought he was, he could see nothing beyond it and the veil of amnesia. Most of what he could recall was having hands and something about taxes.

For now though, he'd stick to his story. "I'm Feremiz and I'm a recent recruit," he offered weakly. All the while the Foongus kept his eyes on him.

"Aha. A Tepig, suuuure," teased the Foongus, prompting Feremiz to snort in discomfort. "Like I'm a Foongus 'amoong' us. So, what do you think eh? Well-hidden place that looks just like random storage."

"It... isn't?" Feremiz spat back, recalling the so-called 'passcodes'.

"I already told you: I have the good stuff," insisted the Foongus. "I work with a very select clientèle. Otherworldly, even! My clients leave satisfied and *never* come back," the critter spoke, almost hissing the last part.

"'Not coming back' doesn't sound like good business," spat Feremiz before even thinking about it.

The Foongus wiggled. "It is when what your clients desire is to leave."

The Tepig just looked at some of the random trinkets and then back at the clerk, trying to make sense of the conversation, though his mind promptly drew a blank. The Foongus took long note of the Tepig's blank stare and hopped back.

"Geez, you look tired. You did save after waking up this morning did you?"

"I'm sorry, 'save'?" Feremiz shook his head.

To that the Foongus simply nodded, and stared at him threateningly. The two Pokémon just looked at each other for a while, half of Feremiz' mind wondering when would his Axew partner come in to take him off this calvary. And besides them the only noise around was the Mienfoo unpacking and setting shop a couple tents over and the water stream besides them.

"Uhhhh," began the Tepig, not even sure how to answer.

He gulped, wondered if he should say anything more. The mention of the three-headed dragon and the impression he was being teased about things only exacerbated his usual feeling of being the more ignorant around the town's lot.

It took a bit longer of an uncomfortable mutual stare until Foongus simply hopped forward and wiggled vigorously.

"You really are this new!" he insisted. "You need to save your money!"

"-Wha?"

"Well, have you noticed how those Kecleon hold the only banks and loans around?" inquired the smaller creature with a single hop. "Even in the Dungeons...?"

"I-"

“They can’t be trusted I tell you, they even-” The Foongus stepped back. "Nevermind. That's irresponsible of me, offering unsolicited investment advice like that. Where are my manners!"

The critter then hopped around the desk, looking at some of the items as if looking for something, but then inched closer to Feremiz.

"Why don't we start again? I'm Gamañel and this is my store."

"...Feremiz," offered the Tepig, moving closer to the desk.

He then made attempt to lift a paw for a greeting, instinctively, but stopped as he realized Gamañel was looking at him inquisitively.

"...Yeahhhh no," ventured the Foongus. "Handshake's not gonna work, I see we both find ourselves short of them hands at the moment."

Feremiz fumbled at the comment. Hands were a thing he had been missing ever since he arrived despite him not remembering really what did he do with them, but the Foongus clerk had just hit the nail on the issue. Besides, all the teasing was making his fur stand on end at moments.

"I... could offer a nosebump...?" he ventured shyly.

"Eugh," recoiled the Foongus, slithering away from him. "Even in your world that's just right out sappy."

"...W-wha?" A cold ran down Feremiz's spine. Who was this creature. "What did you-?"

The Foongus let out a soothing scent and wiggled at him, motioning for him to come closer. "Worry not, pioneer. I've been around for a while, trading on DLC with a few humans."

His instincts fighting him for a moment, Feremiz had to make an effort to follow the Foongus to the end of the table. He looked around, then behind him wondering if Vorylina was somewhere nearby; no luck.

The Tepig breathed hard. No pleading for help this time. He turned back to the Foongus- he had to find out more even if it would sting.

"...Dee-ellllll-see? Is that a kind of item?" he asked, ears perked.

The Foongus presented Feremiz with a few trinkets such as little embroideries on silk and wool. "'Item' might not be the best word... By themselves, these little trinkets do not more than make your room look prettier, don't you think?"

The Tepig raised himself over the counter to take a better look at the various patterns in front of him. Wool dyed with various colours and silk following various shapes. He shook his head.

"Well the ones I sell are cooler. Each one is a map to a place that doesn't exist until you buy it."

Feremiz opened his mouth trying to come up with something to comment as he tried to make sense of the idea. The first thing that came to his mind was the newest "part-timers" around town.

"When you say places," he asked with some hesitation, "you mean like the Magnagates?"

"The card ones? Don't compare me to those rookies, well-intentioned as they are."

"I mean... I don't see how-?"

Feremiz stopped as Gamañel walked around over his own embroideries.

"All you have to know for now is what I already told you. I can offer you to literally remake the world, for a fair rate."

The Tepig looked around and took a step back, a sense of some sort of danger encroaching. "Remake the world? I don't think we have that kind of currency. We go- uh, we barely go around our ends meet."

"Currency? I'm quite willing to negotiate." The other creature seemed to hop around contently. "See, I can be a valuable partner. Your guide to Downloadable Content of course!"

Feremiz tilted his head, wondering for a moment if he was now high on the creature's scent or if there was some whole new level of weirdness around town, as if summoning gates from cards was not enough.

"That said, I'll only take real money," announced Gamañel haughtily. "No Steam wallet. No Brave credits. And none of that Bitcoin crap."

"Uh... look..." Feremiz rubbed his feet on the grass and shuffled around nervously. "I don't even understand what are you talking about. All I see here is trinkets and artwork..."

"Aha, my friend, then you better catch up fast," offered the Foongus looking at him and pointing his hat to the various pieces of artwork in the little desk. "Lest a better client come along, and go."

The hint at a change in attitude was not lost to Feremiz, who frowned at the Foongus and maintained his stare as well as he could.

"You look like you have some adventure out for you," Gamañel explained, "but it'd be a shame if you are disappeared before spending any money."

"...Disappeared?"

"Like the others. Probably didn't make it back to the human world, even. And to think some of them had really good coin, the idiots..."

Feremiz' heart froze and he took a couple hard steps back, not believing what he was hearing. Gamañel caught the gesture immediately and stepped forward.

"Now now pioneer, don't expect me to pat you in the back. Like I said: we find ourselves short of hands."

"Wha- what do you know?" inquired Feremiz, in between a couple difficult breaths.

"All you see in this tent is for sale."

"For sale!" Feremiz found in himself the force to involuntarily let out a growl. "For f- ...Did you do... do THIS to me?" he demanded, suppressing some tears.

Gamañel seemed to squirm for a moment before hopping out of an embroidery and on to his counter, and he watched as Feremiz breathed soundly. "I've set shop here for seven years. Your kind is far too difficult to find," he offered as his only explanation.

The two Pokemon stared at each other for a moment, the Tepig calming down from his initial anger and now sensing the dread at the confirmation that there were... or, had been, other humans around. He could feel himself sweating.

He pointed his nose to the Foongus, motioning for him to continue.

Gamañel snorted.

"What I'm offering you can open new maps... new roads to a different fate. If you are willing to buy."

Feremiz shook and tried to speak harshly. "The others. What others?"

"That's for conversation once a... partnership has been established."

The Tepig stepped back, incredulous at he was hearing and fearful of what could the other Pokémon know of him. And as soon as his conscious mind drew the realization that he could return later with some money and with his partners for support, the promise of a road to death allowed his instincts to take the reins; before he realized, Feremiz turned and bolted out of there.

Gamañel watched Feremiz run away. "Let's do establish a partnership later though, the world is not getting any younger!" he yelled to the parting Tepig.

He hopped in place for a moment and let out a last quip.

"You're welcome to buy from the best... or die like the rest!"

Feremiz stormed past the bridge on the road to the central plaza and out of sight.


----



Betareading and help various provided by @Virgil134 and @Spiteful Murkrow . Prodding to keep playing the game provided by, well them too. Title help provided by @Spiteful Murkrow .

Wiki entry here. Also available on AO3.
 
Last edited:

Virgil134

PMD Writer
Hey, here with a review just like I promised! Looks like this little story could use some more love anyway ~

"…at least a fair amount of quintales, if there's a bonus for selling Seeds…"

I don’t remember whether I already asked during proofreading, but what are quintales?

…The Archen? That's Tracer or something, come on!

XS5LK.gif


The male frowned and was about to complain back when he noticed that the Axew had stopped and he, lost in thought as he was, had just stomped on her tail without noticing.

“The male” is kind of an awkward epithet to use right here.

"Seriously," the Axew answered. She swung her tail a few times, shook herself and glared back at him. "Shouldn't you be paying attention?"

"Uh-"

She tensed and straightened her posture, her scales rattling faintly. "Your day will feel short if you spend it sleepy and distracted you know."

Wait, was the partner in GtI also this crabby or is that just Vorylina? It’s been a while since I’ve played that game.

My clients leave satisfied and *never* come back," the critter spoke, almost hissing the last part.

"'Not coming back' doesn't sound like good business," spat Feremiz before even thinking about it.

My thoughts exactly. :p

"You really are this new!" he insisted. "You need to save your money!"

Heh, I totally thought the Foongus was talking about saving the game. You did a good job at making this moment as awkward as possible though. XD

"You look like you have some adventure out for you," Gamañel explained, "but it'd be a shame if you are disappeared before spending any money."

"...Disappeared?"

"Like the others. Probably didn't make it back to the human world, even. And to think some of them had really good coin, the idiots..."

Gamañel definitely knows how to appear ominous lol. Doesn’t he know that will scare his customers away?

Alright and made it to the end. Gotta say, I really like the premise behind this little one shot! Usually stuff like NPCs talking about DLC is treated the same as characters saying that you have to press certain buttons on your controller to perform actions: namely something that’s part of the gameplay and not really canon to the story. So seeing a fic tackle something like that and making the DLC seller some otherworldly reality warper is pretty creative.

My only gripe with the story is that the ending seemed rather abrupt. It made the fic feel more like a scene of a larger story than a one shot that stands on its own, so that was kind of a shame. But other than that I quite enjoyed it!
 

Venia Silente

[](int x){return x;}
This has taken a bit long but I wanted to say thanks for taking the time to leave that review.

On to a few answers to questions:

I don’t remember whether I already asked during proofreading, but what are quintales?
You did ask once, I think, since you were one of the proofreaders to work on making the story understandable. Quintales was (were?) a measure of weight for grain and other similar products once used as a form of currency in Latin America. Felt like referencing that kind of currency since I imagine PMD worlds being far more focused on direct trade of goods than our IRL is, but you did point out that the context of the line didn't make it easy to explain or give a feeling of what the thing is about.

"Seriously," the Axew answered. She swung her tail a few times, shook herself and glared back at him. "Shouldn't you be paying attention?"

"Uh-"

She tensed and straightened her posture, her scales rattling faintly. "Your day will feel short if you spend it sleepy and distracted you know."
Wait, was the partner in GtI also this crabby or is that just Vorylina? It’s been a while since I’ve played that game.
It's just her - my interpretations of the PMD partners at times can get a bit weird (see: Dalvin). The partner in GtI is far more affable (except at a certain point during the Virizion-Dunsparce "affair", I think) but Vorylina here has a bit of baggage which will hopefully see the day in another story. I don't know when but tl;dr in the meantime: she deserted her clan, has likely been conned and/or done the conning herself at least once while trying to get the money for her "paradise", and for a fair portion of the storyline sees Firuz as added muscle to get things done while she focuses on the logistics more than anything else.

"You really are this new!" he insisted. "You need to save your money!"
Heh, I totally thought the Foongus was talking about saving the game. You did a good job at making this moment as awkward as possible though. XD
tbf, half the story so far was build up for that singular interaction, but yeah. I tried. :p

(I mean, it does still weird me out sometimes how GtI tackles the gameplay and story segregation aspects for some NPCs in particular Victini)

Gotta say, I really like the premise behind this little one shot! Usually stuff like NPCs talking about DLC is treated the same as characters saying that you have to press certain buttons on your controller to perform actions: namely something that’s part of the gameplay and not really canon to the story. So seeing a fic tackle something like that and making the DLC seller some otherworldly reality warper is pretty creative.
Thanks! I'll pass it along to the little critter too next time I play the game.

My only gripe with the story is that the ending seemed rather abrupt. It made the fic feel more like a scene of a larger story than a one shot that stands on its own, so that was kind of a shame.
Story of my life :eek: but I'll see what can be done about that. There are ideas, it's just the effort aaaaah! :p


All in all, thanks for the review!
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Early Game Encounter
Heya @Venia Silente ,

Somehow it completely slipped my mind back when I first wrote this review in -checks notes- January to crosspost it here where you had a version of Making the World Go Round. Whelp, better late than never, since I found it a cute piece, and hey, it could stand to have a bit more attention. As a fair warning, but this review is based off a version of your story that was posted 2 years after this one, so if there's any discrepancies here or there in content in the quotes, that's where they're from.

Alright, enough chatter. Let's get right into the nitty-gritty:

A summer morning under the rising sun, Firuz the hu-er, Tepig, went about the edge of Post Town, idling behind his partner Vorylina. This was what, week twelve or so of his misadventures? Running errands, doing community service around town, chasing down outlaws, having nightmares every once in a while; all under a more or less false name and in the hopes of -last he checked with the Axew- building a paradise.

'Feremiz', as he was going around now, yawned. He would have liked to focus on some other things if they only had the resources for that, such as searching for the three-headed dragon in his dreams, but coin was hard to come by, so Community Service was it today.

Ah, yes. All the boring drudgery that gets summarily ignored by the PMD games less they scare off even more of the audience away that the Roguelike mechanics don't. :V

Firuz: "Follow the disembodied voice to another world, they said. It'll be fun, they said." >_>;

The two Pokémon reached to the gates of the town at last, or that was what he made of gathered from the dull voices all around... including Vorylina's.

"…at least a fair amount of quintales, if there's a bonus for selling Seeds…"

He was admittedly not paying attention, only following the Axew's tail for guidance, lost in his tiredness and his own thoughts... he just went by looking around the place and not minding anyone's business except for noticing that, as had become usual since last week, people were hushing gossiping about a criminal Pokémon an Outlaw lurking around town.

"…all it takes is ooooone distracted moment while you are outside and BAM!"

"All I'm saying is, if a Pokémon is 'foreign-looking', wouldn't that be something easy to notice?"

Firuz: "(Nooooot really sure if I like where this conversation is going.)"
701630550720512120.png


Feremiz's mind didn't even register the argument but he was inclined to agree. He absentmindedly registered picked up the scents of many familiar Pokémon around. How hard would it be to recognize that you didn't recognize a Pokémon?

I feel as if it might be logical to drop in some sort of commentary about how Firuz/Feremiz has been getting used to Pokémon life over the past 12 weeks given that I really doubt he'd have found it natural to pick out strangers by their smell at the start of that time.

"…betcha it has huge predator eyes to boot, too! And fangs like these."

"Fa's 'm concern' som'n s'gonna approach ma'kid, am gonn' smack t'er head from h're to the Glacia-"

"…The Archen? That's Tracer or something, come on! ...The new recruit! He came to the shop to sell scales friggin' YESTERDAY!"

True, everyone was being leery of each other and in general being unfriendl...ier.

"-Ow! Feremiz damn it!"

"Oh?"

e68d3709f15a1899fedcc48da664ac0b.gif


Cute nod, though. :V

Even Vorylina was testy these days, it seemed. The soft crunch of dirt underneath her feet as she turned was little warning for the roar that she let out square into the Tepig's ears.

The male Femeriz frowned and was about to complain back when he noticed that the Axew had stopped and he, as lost in thought as he was, had just stomped on her tail without noticing.

Firuz: "... I swear, it's genuinely easier than it looks to do this."
701630550720512120.png

Vorylina: "How do you not notice what's a foot in front of your face?!" >_>;

"Sorry..." he offered begrudgingly as he stepped off her and circled around.

"Seriously," the Axew answered. She swung her tail a few times, shook herself and glared back at him. "Shouldn't you be paying attention?"

"Uh-"

Firuz: "I-Is there a way for me to say 'no' without either looking like an idiot or getting a Dual Chop to the face?" ._.;
Vorylina: "What do you think?" >:|

She tensed and straightened her posture, her scales rattling faintly. "Your day will feel short if you spend it sleepy and distracted you know."

"I don't... not sleep because I want to," he spat.

[A brief silence.]

"-Oh, the dreams again."

Feremiz tilted his head and looked away, allowing himself to let his sight wander around, which lasted for a moment. He finally heard [a buff] from the Axew.

I feel as if this part has a couple bits that could stand to be expanded if you're so inclined.

The "A brief silence." paragraph in my opinion is the one that's in most dire need of an expansion, since you could say a lot about Firuz/Feremiz's internal thought process or Vorylina's thought processes about the topic of Firuz/Feremiz's nightmares that aren't really being communicated at the moment.

As for "a buff", I wasn't fully sure what Vorylina was doing there, but if it's was the equivalent of a soft smack or a biff, you probably want Firuz/Femeriz to feel that instead of hear it.

"Well uh... Cheer up? There's some distractions for the day. You can check the travelling merchants?"

She pointed him to the far end of the plaza where there was a creek and a road that went downhill, only the tops of a few tents could be seen that way.

The Axew and Tepig shared looks for a moment until finally Feremiz sighed. "Yeah I can do that one."

"Who knows?" she added. "Maybe one of the travelling merchants has seen your three-headed dragon."

Firuz: "Vorylina, why on earth would I want that?!" >.<
Vorylina: "... To get a chance to face your fears instead of constantly shedding your scales over it?"
720106605982646283.png


Feremiz frowned at his partner and finally nodded. "What about you? What will you be up to?"

"Coins in, coins out," answered Vorylina, pointing to the team's bag. "And keeping an eye on any scams Dunsparce might fall into."

[ ]

"See you later then?"

"Later, luck."

I feel as if this sequence could use a bit of body language between Firuz/Feremiz and Vorylina before they bid each other farewell. One of those "chance to see the gears turning in the two's heads" sort of moments that feels like it's been left on the table presently.

The two Pokémon patted each other for a goodbye to bid farewell and each headed each their own way. Feremiz crossed the Plaza and headed to the far end of town, passing over a water stream of water, and easily reached the end area of the travelling merchants' stands, in lower and much less frequented terrain. From the rumours going around, tenants didn't exactly like the place because it was less visible and they found the Cofagrigus hosting a store there... creepy, to say the least. All Feremiz saw when he arrived at the end of the stands was a Mienfoo hastily setting up one of the Visiting Stands; Cofagrigus' store was closed.

What, you're telling me going full 'my precioussss' about anything and everything made of gold isn't endearing?

I mean, you're not wrong, but Cofagrigus would probably contest that. :V

Not really feeling like he was up [much for things], though, Feremiz decided to ignore the two shops there and went to sit by a third, unoccupied stand by the side, one that he could recall having seen a number of times, always empty.

Feremiz looked around the place. It was just a half-madefinished stand made of some logs serving as a wooden counter where various little trinkets and ornaments lay strewn about, as well as along with some random embroideries, and an open tent giving that provided some sunshade from the sun. The Tepig took a look at the trinkets, there were which included things such as a twirling wool stripes, leather cords painted with various colours, little silver coins, scrolls and at the very centre of the desk a small cap-like object made of some soft material.

Now that one was at least somewhat interesting, and unique among the objects in the tent. The Tepig approached and examined it. Small, apparently mushroom like with a nice red and a white half and a circle-like pattern in the middle, and not much of a mushroom-like odor at least. He felt it reminded him of a Poké...something.

Narrator: "It's not a cap. Or at least not one you can wear."

Feremiz wondered what made this particular object unique and why it and everything else was left unguarded. His Tepig side got the best of him and he approached to sniff the object, and while he thought for a moment that he saw it wiggle, he found nothing strange and leaned closer.

"...Boo!" spoke the little ball-like top suddenly, adding a wiggle for effect.

"...Aaaah!" Feremiz almost skipped a heartbeat as he yelped and jumped back. Indeed, the little ornament had moved!

Sounds like a really great way to ensure that you almost never get business when you greet your customers like that.
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Firuz:
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Gamañel: "Oh pipe down, it's not that surprising."

"Ooooh? You look like a good customer."

"...L-like what?" Feremiz breathed hard a couple of times, still taken aback. "...Wha? What are you?"

"Well look around, I'm a shop tenant!" spoke the creature insisted.

Feremiz inched closer, lowering his head so that he could look under the cap. What met him were the eyes of this sort of... creature, this little mushroom-like blob. Now the Tepig could understand how it had gone unnoticed for so long- but why?

Firuz: "Seriously, how on earth is this good for your business?" >_>;
Foongus: "I'm just starting out, so I'm still experimenting with what works?"
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"You are... a Pokémon then," he spoke tentatively.

"D'uh look who's speaking," answered the creature answered in a surly tone. "And you are a totally native Tepig, aren't you?"

"I er–"

Feremiz could not help but step back and look away for a moment.

I take it that Firuz doesn't exactly have a great poker face if some random Foongus merchant can trip him up this badly.
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"Well, pioneer," spoke the creature spoke, wiggling, "don't just stand there! Are we going to trade or talk?"

"I'm sorry," the Tepig excused himself. "I'm new around here and I don't... I don't really know that many people."

The creature seemed to snicker at the comment. "'People', eh? Get comfy with them, don't worry about the ones back home then. Well, I've seen you around for a while."

Firuz: "I'm sorry, you what?"
Gamañel: "Did I stutter?"
Firuz: "But I've never- and- How?" ._.;

Feremiz did not like the comment about the townspeople, if he had interpreted the creature's tone right. He dug his feet on into the ground in response as he wondered what the creature meant with other people back home, feeling uneasy around the critter.

"Well and who- what are you anyway?"

The creature hopped around the desk, inching closer, and "bowed" to the Tepig. "I guess you haven't seen anyone like me before. And I'm not even a rare sight like say a... a... let's see..." the Foongus seemed to think for a moment and hushed. "...three-headed dragon".

Feremiz frowned and tensed. The idea raced by his mind that if this creature had been listening- or even spying...

I mean, he's apparently seen you even though you've never seen this guy before. I think it's already a fair assumption the Foongus has been snooping in on you, Firuz. :V

He turned to look for Vorylina wondering if it was a prank or something but no, for starters from his position he could not see over to the town plaza, only the tops of some stores there such as the Box Buster. He wondered for a moment if he had actually gotten up from a night of sleep.

"And good thing I'm not as rare!" continued the creature continued, bringing snapping Feremiz back to reality. "See, this is my little super-secret store, and I have good passcodes and wares if you have coin."

"Pass...codes...?"

"Yeah, the cool stuff. Now, who might you be, pioneer?"

Firuz: "You do realize that we live in a setting with exactly nothing in the way of meaningful electrical infrastructure, right? What on earth am I supposed to do with passcodes?"
Gamañel: "I'm getting to that, Porky."

"I'm- well..." Feremiz froze and looked down to his Tepig feet for a moment. It always took him a moment of surprise when he woke up every morning, to fully swallow that sensation that even if he was who he thought he was, he could see nothing beyond it and the his veil of amnesia. Most of what he could recall from beyond it was once having hands and something about taxes.

For now though, he'd stick to his story. "I'm Feremiz and I'm a recent recruit," he offered weakly. All the while the Foongus kept his eyes on him.

"Aha. A Tepig, suuuure," teased the Foongus teased, prompting Feremiz to snort in discomfort. "Like I'm a Foongus 'amoong' us. So, what do you think eh? Well-hidden place that looks just like random storage."

I know that pun is canon, but it's still horrible. Amazing, but horrible. o<o

"It... isn't?" Feremiz spat back, recalling the so-called 'passcodes'.

"I already told you: I have the good stuff," insisted the Foongus insisted. "I work with a very select clientèle. Otherworldly, even! My clients leave satisfied and never come back," the critter spoke, almost hissing the last part.

"'Not coming back' doesn't sound like good business," spat Feremiz before even thinking about it.

Firuz: "It also sounds like I really, really don't want to find out what happened to your clients..."
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The Foongus wiggled. "It is when what your clients desire is to leave."

The Tepig just looked at some of the random trinkets and then back at the clerk, trying to make sense of the conversation, though his mind promptly drew a blank. The Foongus took long note of the Tepig's blank stare and hopped back.

"Geez, you look tired. You did save after waking up this morning didn't you?"

"I'm sorry, 'save'?" Feremiz shook his head.

Firuz: "... Is it even legal for you to break the fourth wall like that?" .-.
Gamañel: "Who's gonna stop me?"

To that the Foongus simply nodded, and stared at him threateningly. The two Pokémon just looked at each other for a while, half of Feremiz' mind wondering when would his Axew partner come in to take him off this calvary. And besides them the only noise around was the Mienfoo unpacking and setting shop a couple tents over and the water stream besides them.

"Uhhhh," began the Tepig, not even sure how to answer.

He gulped, wondered if he should say anything more. The mention of the three-headed dragon and the impression he was being teased about things only exacerbated his usual feeling of being the more ignorant than he ought to have been around about the town's lot ongoing events.

It took a bit longer of an mutually uncomfortable mutual staring until Foongus simply hopped forward and wiggled vigorously.

"You really are this new!" he insisted. "You need to save your money!"

"-Wha?"

Firuz: "I thought Vorylina was handling that. Shouldn't you know that if you've been stalking me enough to know about my dreams?" .-.
Gamañel: "Bold of you to think that I was talking about Poké..."

"Well, have you noticed how those Kecleon hold the only banks and loans around?" inquired the smaller creature with a single hop. "Even in the Dungeons...?"

"I-"

“They can’t be trusted I tell you, they even-” The Foongus said, stepping back. "Nevermind. That's irresponsible of me, offering unsolicited investment advice like that. Where are my manners!"

The critter then hopped around the desk, looking at some of the items as if looking for something, but then inched closer to Feremiz.

"Why don't we start again?" the Grass-type offered. "I'm Gamañel and this is my store."

Firuz: "... I'm beginning to think that I should head off right about now." >_>;
Gamañel: "Ah ah ah! Introductions first!"

"...Feremiz," offered the Tepig, moving closer to the desk.

He then made an attempt to lift a paw for a greeting, instinctively, but stopped as he realized Gamañel was looking at him inquisitively.

"...Yeahhhh no," ventured the Foongus. "Handshake's not gonna work, I see we both find ourselves a bit short of them hands at the moment."

Feremiz fumbled at the comment. Hands were a thing he had been missing ever since he arrived despite him not remembering really what did he used to do with them, but the Foongus clerk had just hit the nail on the issue. Besides, all the teasing was making his fur stand on end at moments.

"I... could offer a nosebump...?" he ventured shyly.

Gamañel: "Oh yeah, that totally sounds hygenic there." >.<
Firuz: "Look, give me something to work with here already!" >_>;

"Eugh," recoiled the Foongus, slithering away from him. "Even in your world that's just right out sappy."

"...W-wha?" A cold ran down Feremiz's spine. Who was this creature. "What did you-?"

The Foongus let out a soothing scent and wiggled at him, motioning for him to come closer. "Worry not, pioneer. I've been around for a while, trading on DLC with a few humans."

Oh no...
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His instincts fighting him for a moment, Feremiz had to make an effort to follow the Foongus to the end of the table. He looked around, then behind him wondering if Vorylina was somewhere nearby. No such luck.

The Tepig breathed hard. No pleading for help this time. He turned back to the Foongus- he had to find out more even if it would sting.

"...Dee-ellllll-see? Is that a kind of item?" he asked, ears perked.

Worse, it's a license to download bits of data. Unless if you can get it by... -ahem- alternative means. But I'm pretty sure I don't want to find out how Gamañel would react to someone who uses them just strolling into his shop.
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The Foongus presented Feremiz with a few trinkets such as little embroideries on silk and wool. "'Item' might not be the best word... By themselves, these little trinkets do not more than make your room look prettier, don't you think?"

The Tepig raised himself over the counter to take a better look at the various patterns in front of him. Wool dyed with various colours and silk following various shapes. He shook his head.

"Well the ones I sell are cooler. Each one is a map to a place that doesn't exist until you buy it."

Firuz:
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Gamañel: "Think I'm joking? If you've got some spare dosh, I'll show it to you right now."

Feremiz opened his mouth trying to come up with something to comment as he tried to make sense of the idea. The first thing that came to his mind was the newest "part-timers" around town.

"When you say places," he asked with some hesitation, "you mean like the Magnagates?"

"The card ones? Don't compare me to those rookies, well-intentioned as they are."

[ ]

"I mean... I don't see how-?"

Feremiz stopped as Gamañel walked around over his own embroideries. [ ]

"All you have to know for now is what I already told you. I can offer you to literally remake the world, for a fair rate."

I think that this bit could be improved had it had a bit of an expansion to show off more of Firuz/Feremiz and Gamañel's mannerisms and maybe thought processes. Firuz/Feremiz's in the first set of brackets, and Gamañel's in the second.

The Tepig looked around and took a step back, a sense of some sort of danger encroaching. "Remake the world? I don't think we have that kind of currency. We go- uh, we barely go around our ends meet."

"Currency? I'm quite willing to negotiate." The other creature seemed to hop around contently. "See, I can be a valuable partner. Your guide to Downloadable Content of course!"

So what happens if I just go full "yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me" right in front of Gamañel, anyways?
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Feremiz tilted his head, wondering for a moment if he was now high on the creature's scent or if there was some whole new level of weirdness around town, as if summoning gates from Espeon and Umbreon's cards was not enough.

"That said, I'll only take real money," announced Gamañel haughtily. "No Steam wallet. No Brave credits. And none of that Bitcoin crap."

boo-boo-this-man.gif


I still have to wonder what on earth Spike Chunsoft was thinking with their business model for DLC dungeons in GtI, since... yeah, it's basically anti-motivation to actually pony up and buy anything with how many purchases you have to make to get everything. Alternatively, you could just use FBI since the eShop's most likely going offline within 12 months anyways, but we probably shouldn't be talking too much about that, now should we? Least of all around around Gamañel.
701630550720512120.png


"Uh... look..." Feremiz rubbed his feet on the grass and shuffled around nervously. "I don't even understand what are you talking about. All I see here is trinkets and artwork..."

"Aha, my friend, then you better catch up fast," offered the Foongus looking at him and pointing his hat to the various pieces of artwork in the little desk. "Lest a better client come along, and go."

The hint at a change in attitude was not lost to Feremiz, who frowned at the Foongus and maintained his stare as well as he could.

"You look like you have some adventure out for you," Gamañel explained, "but it'd be a shame if you are disappeared before spending any money."

"...Disappeared?"

"Like the others. Probably didn't make it back to the human world, even. And to think some of them had really good coin, the idiots..."

Firuz: "I-I have plot armor and don't have to worry about that?"
701630550720512120.png

Gamañel: "Yeah, I certainly heard that spiel before. Look bub, do you want to remake the world before you get turned into a ball of light floating up into the sky or not?"

Feremiz' heart froze and he took a couple hard steps back, not believing what he was hearing. Gamañel caught the gesture immediately and stepped forward.

"Now now pioneer, don't expect me to pat you in the back. Like I said: we find ourselves short of hands."

"Wha- what do you know?" inquired Feremiz, in between a couple difficult breaths.

"All you see in this tent is for sale."

"For sale!" Feremiz found in himself the force to involuntarily let out a growl. "For f- ...Did you do... do THIS to me?" he demanded, suppressing some tears.

Gamañel: "Oh just a little peek beyond the fourth wall. So... purchase?" /人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\
Firuz: "Yeah, I'm just going to leave now..." O_O;

Gamañel seemed to squirm for a moment before hopping out of an embroidery and on to his counter, and he watched as Feremiz breathed soundly in and out heavily. "I've set shop here for seven years. Your kind is far too difficult to find," he offered as his only explanation.

The two Pokemon stared at each other for a moment, the Tepig calming down from his initial anger and now sensing the dread at the confirmation that there were... or, had been, other humans around. He could feel himself sweating.

He pointed his nose to the Foongus, motioning for him to continue.

Gamañel snorted.

"What I'm offering you can open new maps... new roads to a different fate. If you are willing to buy."

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I'm pretty sure that all of the DLC missions in GtI have exactly zero bearing on the plot, not that it would be wise to expect someone who doesn't accept Steam wallet to be a reputable salesman. Though at this rate, Gamañel might as well offer to spoil the rest of the plot to get Firuz to part with that sweet, sweet CC info.
803821849384583219.png


Feremiz shook and tried to speak harshly. "The others. What others?"

"That's for conversation once a... partnership has been established."

Gamañel, you'd have greater odds of success if you weren't doing your damnedest to put on a Kyubey act right about now. >:V

The Tepig stepped back, incredulous at he was hearing and fearful of what could else the other Pokémon might know of him. And as soon as his conscious mind drew the realization that he could return later with some money and with his partners for support, the promise of a road to death allowed his instincts to take the reins; over, and before he realized it, Feremiz had turned and bolted out of there Gamañel's shop.

Yeah, I'd run too with that turn that Gamañel took towards the end there.
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Gamañel watched Feremiz run away. "Let's do establish a partnership later though, the world is not getting any younger!" he yelled to the parting Tepig.

7ef.jpg


Track down Latios instead. He canonically has some experience with software piracy in PMD Canonworld. Perhaps he could help you pull some strings to get those DLC dungeons another way.
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He hopped in place for a moment and let out a last quip.

"You're welcome to buy from the best... or die like the rest!"

Well that's anti-persuasion for ever going back to Gamañel's shop if I ever heard it.

Feremiz stormed past the bridge on the road to the central plaza and out of sight.

Latios: "Hey buddy, want a chance to reshape the world without being on the hook for credit card expenses-?"
Firuz: View attachment 2055

Alright, final thoughts:

It's definitely a distinctive piece. Gates stories aren't exactly super common, let alone Gates stories that acknowledge the DLC dungeons in any way, shape, or form. So I've got to give some kudos for uniqueness there, especially with the fun "peeking past the fourth wall" dynamic Gamañel has going on that he uses to torment Firuz there.

My main complaints are mostly related to some word choices, and a couple places where I felt the story could've used some more meat on its bones. Otherwise I didn't have too many quibbles with it. It's a fun little story that gets a bit trippy towards the end, and it works fairly well to that end even in its current form.

Good work, and I'll be looking forward to seeing more of Firuz/Feremiz and Vorylina one day, since I know that you have other plot bunnies in the pipeline dealing with them and the inhabitants of your take on PMD Canonworld around the time of Gates. ^^
 

Venia Silente

[](int x){return x;}
Heya @Venia Silente ,

Somehow it completely slipped my mind back when I first wrote this review in -checks notes- January to crosspost it here where you had a version of Making the World Go Round. Whelp, better late than never,
Same I can say, since it took me one month to reply :p

But thanks!

Ah, yes. All the boring drudgery that gets summarily ignored by the PMD games less they scare off even more of the audience away that the Roguelike mechanics don't. :V

Firuz: "Follow the disembodied voice to another world, they said. It'll be fun, they said." >_>;
Well yes someone has to do that community service and keep the various in-game services running. Or in the case of Firuz do the required community service. I mean it's that or — if taking from the more fanonically (in)famous take on the subject of Isekai — remain dead at your origin world, so "follow the light" doesn't sound that bad of a choice ^_^


I feel as if it might be logical to drop in some sort of commentary about how Firuz/Feremiz has been getting used to Pokémon life over the past 12 weeks given that I really doubt he'd have found it natural to pick out strangers by their smell at the start of that time.
Yeahhhh did not think to go there for a commentary on the moment I wrote it, and it was a quite a lost chance. Alas, it'll have to be for another story that better explores the earlier times of the adventure, because by the point that Feremiz's been around doing exploration and outcast hunting and the like, this kind off "smelling" thing has become rather transparent for him.

(the Tracer nod)
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Cute nod, though. :V
Thanks! Tracer the Archen is still a recurrent team member. In charge of nabbing all those loose coins on quests. Plus, I can always see his face on the status screen. Though now (Jun 2022) I'm unsure if maybe I should rename him to Fobbie canonically since that's the penname you're more known for in these various Pokémon fandom spaces. Technically, your call. :p

Firuz: "I-Is there a way for me to say 'no' without either looking like an idiot or getting a Dual Chop to the face?" ._.;
Vorylina: "What do you think?" >:|
I like that. She's channeling her version of Guardia :p

And to be fair, Feremiz is (instinctively) more used to existing in a physical space such as an office or a supermarket where bumping onto other people on the line is just a more normal, if still unwelcome, occurrence.

The "A brief silence." paragraph in my opinion is the one that's in most dire need of an expansion, since you could say a lot about Firuz/Feremiz's internal thought process or Vorylina's thought processes about the topic of Firuz/Feremiz's nightmares that aren't really being communicated at the moment.
That is something that's more likely to make it into a rewrite or continuation, yes. Where we Live and Work kind of hinted that she regards these situations about him as a sort of chronic illness, something that when another person has it you just have to deal with it and let them rest; but I think it would do good service to her as a character to eventually see how she reaches that (obviously wrong) conclusion given she's pushing him to get it solved (in as much as what little she has to offer other than "why don't you just ask around about a dragon?").

As for "a buff", I wasn't fully sure what Vorylina was doing there, but if it's was the equivalent of a soft smack or a biff, you probably want Firuz/Femeriz to feel that instead of hear it.
That and/or I meant a "huff". I'm not even sure anymore so yeah THAT one is getting rewritten into something more useful. :p

I feel as if this sequence could use a bit of body language between Firuz/Feremiz and Vorylina before they bid each other farewell. One of those "chance to see the gears turning in the two's heads" sort of moments that feels like it's been left on the table presently.
[jolts down notes] Yeahhhh, it was too stiff in the release version. It kinda suits Feremiz here in this particular case but... no, not Volyrina.

What, you're telling me going full 'my precioussss' about anything and everything made of gold isn't endearing?

I mean, you're not wrong, but Cofagrigus would probably contest that. :V
Well, if I can find anything villainous for the Cofagrigus tenant to do I'm totes doing "get help" "my precioussss". It's just the villainesque sorts of positions are currently taken.

Sounds like a really great way to ensure that you almost never get business when you greet your customers like that.
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Firuz:
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Gamañel: "Oh pipe down, it's not that surprising."
To be fair and as it's mentioned later, Gamañel has been tracking Feremiz of sorts. Seeing that this moment was going to come, he probably added some flair to it. I don't think he's this dramatic to normal, non-hman customers who can't buy DLC o3o

Firuz: "Seriously, how on earth is this good for your business?" >_>;
Foongus: "I'm just starting out, so I'm still experimenting with what works?"
You jest but technically, Gamañel can't have had this store for longer than the game has been active, in in-universe time, so he is probably just a noob who first set shop a few months ago.

...I'm just kidding! He does mention later that he's had his store for about seven years which is the time the game had been up at the time I published this story. Yup, the confrontation against the Bittercold is going THAT bad. So depending on how many heroes you want to interpret to have failed and died before Feremiz... all this could just be a faux-pas, or that Gamañel is just that detached from the fates of his actual customers (or the ones that don't try, or that don't even find him out).

See? I can do cosmic horror as well! Admittedly I wasn't counting on it

Firuz: "I'm sorry, you what?"
Gamañel: "Did I stutter?"
Firuz: "But I've never- and- How?" ._.;

I mean, he's apparently seen you even though you've never seen this guy before. I think it's already a fair assumption the Foongus has been snooping in on you, Firuz. :V
Considering Gamañel has quite some meta and fourth wall privileges, he's probably just have been reading the game log that shows every time you load a save~ eg.: as in Marriland's GTI adventure log (that coincidentally has a Tepig and Axew team~)

Ooooor he could have been spying, sure why not, he's smol who's gonna notice? :p

- back at the Paradise hut -
Volyrina: -waters the plants, also happens to water Gamañel while at it-
Gamañel: "...I didn't sign up for this."

It may or may not have canonically happened.

The amoongus pun. You know the one.
I know that pun is canon, but it's still horrible. Amazing, but horrible. o<o
Thanks! I tried my best ^_^

Firuz: "... Is it even legal for you to break the fourth wall like that?" .-.
Gamañel: "Who's gonna stop me?"
Some sources do say his contract for breaking the fourth wall is gonna expire ca. March 2023 with the 3DS eShop closing :p

Now what does he think of that, hmmm....

Gamañel: "Oh yeah, that totally sounds hygenic there." >.<
Firuz: "Look, give me something to work with here already!" >_>;
This just has a whole different punch in a post-COVID world doesn't it...

Oh yes...~ You are now free to imagine allll the ways this can go wrong.

Worse, it's a license to download bits of data. Unless if you can get it by... -ahem- alternative means. But I'm pretty sure I don't want to find out how Gamañel would react to someone who uses them just strolling into his shop.
Considering the eShop closure, he's probably gonna have to shut up and bite it. Then again that requires that Feremiz fails in his adventure and dies and that more adventures have to keep coming up until 2023-ish...

How many humans have died in this again? Do we ever get something like a Bittercold kill count in the game?

Firuz:
592603469265764372.png

Gamañel: "Think I'm joking? If you've got some spare dosh, I'll show it to you right now."
Are you suggesting Feremiz should invest real money into videogames for children? XD

I think that this bit could be improved had it had a bit of an expansion to show off more of Firuz/Feremiz and Gamañel's mannerisms and maybe thought processes. Firuz/Feremiz's in the first set of brackets, and Gamañel's in the second.
I'll add that to the notesd for a rewrite or continuation to the story. I'm more interested in Gamañel's thought process ATM given his kind of noobness at dealing with actual customers. Or, who knows... I haven't even decided how many humans came and died before Feremiz yet.

So what happens if I just go full "yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me" right in front of Gamañel, anyways?
It'd be hilarious to see. I mean he's gonna fume a bit, or a good long, but then again who can he reasonably complain to? It's not like any one other than the Voice of Life is gonna believe him...

Good thing that Foongus can not suffer from bruxism, at least not that I know of...

I still have to wonder what on earth Spike Chunsoft was thinking with their business model for DLC dungeons in GtI, since... yeah, it's basically anti-motivation to actually pony up and buy anything with how many purchases you have to make to get everything. Alternatively, you could just use FBI since the eShop's most likely going offline within 12 months anyways, but we probably shouldn't be talking too much about that, now should we? Least of all around around Gamañel.
701630550720512120.png
Gamañel would be among the most interested to know about this and find a way to solve it! That is, assuming there was anything he could even do to help. But hey, alas I don't work at Nintendo.

But yeah basically assuming he has enough meta powers to know of the impending closure of the shop, he likely wouldn't react too badly to a pirate's life. It'd be a kind of saving grace or compensation that he could recognize the situation of how much does the DLC matter for the campaign (another fact that you bring up below).

Firuz: "I-I have plot armor and don't have to worry about that?"
701630550720512120.png

Gamañel: "Yeah, I certainly heard that spiel before. Look bub, do you want to remake the world before you get turned into a ball of light floating up into the sky or not?"
If the conversation did went like that, it'd to WONDERS to Feremiz's paranoia considering that by this time in the game's plot at least one ball of light already happened onscreen IIRC.

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I'm pretty sure that all of the DLC missions in GtI have exactly zero bearing on the plot, not that it would be wise to expect someone who doesn't accept Steam wallet to be a reputable salesman. Though at this rate, Gamañel might as well offer to spoil the rest of the plot to get Firuz to part with that sweet, sweet CC info.
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To be fair, it's not Gamañel's fault that Nintendon't really partner with third-ecosystem stores or networks. I have lots of friends still waiting for MonHun Rise cross-save (you yourself might even be among them?). But yeah no Bitcoin. it's bad for the environment and we *are* trying to save at least one world here in Post Town! :p

As for the DLC having no bearing on the plot... yeah, that's a thing in the real game. Other than readier access to particular Pokémon that have bad recruit rates in the base game, and the music tracks for the box, the DLC in Gates doesn't really give you anything that could be considered game-changing. But I took the liberty of changing that of all things and tying it a bit to the kind of power the Magnagates have. I don't really think I have the dedication to write a Multiverse of Madness but, the long story short is, if Gamañel somehow spawned an embroidery DLC that opened a gate to a world where there exists an anti-Bittercold vaccine, that world shall instantly have to exist within the Suocéverse since a gate for it now exists. So, as he says, his business is a good notch above that of Espeon and Umbreon's.

Basically it's my new excuse for crossovers or joint RPing / joint writing, yeah, I'm that silly.



Well that's anti-persuasion for ever going back to Gamañel's shop if I ever heard it.
Gamañel: "Any publicity is good publicity! ^_^"


It's definitely a distinctive piece. Gates stories aren't exactly super common, let alone Gates stories that acknowledge the DLC dungeons in any way, shape, or form. So I've got to give some kudos for uniqueness there, especially with the fun "peeking past the fourth wall" dynamic Gamañel has going on that he uses to torment Firuz there.

My main complaints are mostly related to some word choices, and a couple places where I felt the story could've used some more meat on its bones. Otherwise I didn't have too many quibbles with it. It's a fun little story that gets a bit trippy towards the end, and it works fairly well to that end even in its current form.
Thanks for the general feedback. I got the same common note among the various commenters elsewhere, that Gates stuff is not really like, common, so I set out to fix that a bit. Like, one storyline at a time.

Honestly, from what I've played, Gates is not a bad game. I know people complain about it but they do complain more about PSMD's school arc, yes?

Good work, and I'll be looking forward to seeing more of Firuz/Feremiz and Vorylina one day, since I know that you have other plot bunnies in the pipeline dealing with them and the inhabitants of your take on PMD Canonworld around the time of Gates. ^^
One more is in the works, yes, I just have been having trouble getting it out from the production pipeline. But knowing that people care helps!

All in all once again thanks for having taken the time to review. And for doing your part in helping these kinds of silly adventure log-esque stories continue.
 
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