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Marriage

I don't plan on getting married. Too much trouble involved -__-
 

Kutie Pie

"It is my destiny."
For those who know me, you should all know how I hold the idea of marriage. But I don't mind repeating myself, I should always stand up for what I believe in.

Marriage is beautiful, it really is. I've watched my parents like I have with other people's parents, as well as my grandparents, who are like opposites of each other, not kidding you. My grandma thinks she's a little senile, she's very OCD, has little to no tolerance for a lot of things, and yet she and my grandpa have been married for as long as every other elderly married couple. Papa even told me himself he couldn't live without my grandmother. He hopes that if he was to die first, that she would die shortly afterward, he doesn't like the idea of her living alone, and same vice versa. If anything, that's a happy marriage.

As for me, I'm of marrying age (yeah yeah, it sounds weird, but bear with me). When a girl turns twelve in the Church, she graduates from Primary to Young Women's, and stays there until she turns 18. While there, we learn about what it takes to be a woman, we're taught the traits of a woman, the values of a woman (faith, divine nature, individual worth, knowledge, choice and accountability, good works, integrity, virtue), and the importance of family. We have this little booklet called Personal Progress which is filled with little activities, in a way, that helps us learn the values and important life skills for when we are adults. I'll admit, I hardly did anything in the Personal Progress, and I kinda regret it now. I still have the booklet, thankfully, so I can look over in it and work on the areas I need more experience in, but I'm not that patient.

My mind somehow came up with the idea that after I get married, I'll learn a lot of these things as a young wife and mother. But who am I kidding, I don't feel ready to be independent or even in a marriage. But I'm of age where I should be considering getting married. I've never dated, I can't cook, drive, properly do housework (though I know the basics), don't have a job, and yet I have that desire to be a wife. It could be because I made that decision as a twelve-year-old that I will marry. Yes, there's always that possibility I'll choose to go on a mission when I turn twenty-one, but I don't have to if I don't want to. Still, I've been thinking about that, so I may end up going on a mission first.

I fear being single, you can say. It could be because I have a few friends, or that I never had a sister to really have a sisterly bond with, or that I'm not as close to my mother like I should be. It could be because I'm a hopeless romantic. I have that habit of day-dreaming up a date, of a rather clever and/or creative proposal, of what my wedding dress looks like, what my children are going to look like, whether I'll finally have my Hannah like I've always wanted, just a bunch of other things. It's a strong desire.

I really hope I get married. My own mother hopes I can get married. She worries I'll be that one girl men avoid because of how awkward and weird I am. She doesn't mind me living at home, as much as she would like me to be independent as well, but as the only daughter, I guess she has that wish to prepare my wedding dress on my wedding day. Though she has said that my grandfather would be picky about my husband, since he and grandma have practically raised me as a baby, and thus I'm the favorite (they've admitted). And also because of my size, Mom has said he would worry himself to death if I was to ever get pregnant.

Which leads to another thing: children. I love children, I teach children at church as a Primary teacher. They're rambunctious little rascals, yes, but I've come to love them very early on. I just love how they have this innocent look to them even though they're all baptized now and know what decisions are good and bad. I look forward to teaching them every week, they're really sweet kids. This makes me want to get married even more so I can raise my own children. My goal is to have six kids like my own family, but if my body can handle it, however-many God decides to send down my way, I'll take. As long as I get Hannah, that's my bargain to Him. I know she's up there, I've never given up wishing for her.

I suppose you're all tired of reading what looks to be a journal entry about my feelings, but this is honestly what I'm feeling like now. It's all I can to keep from crying right now, which is failing miserably. But I've said all I've wanted to say to get off my chest.
 

Aegon

Well-Known Member
I'm not really sure if I want to get married in the future. It depends on my partner. At the moment, I don't want to, but that could change. As for kids, I'd like one, before or after the potential marriage, I don't know. Either would be fine by me. And of course gay marriage should be legalised.
 

NitroxWolf

t(-.-t) trollin
im wanting to get married, but not until im in my late 20's. marriages that start before die more then likely
 

ManhattanTheStarr

Well-Known Member
Not to offend anyone here who's married/getting married, but I just don't see the purpose of marriage. I mean, come on, you're already together, you don't need a public ceremony to prove that. =/

It's not like I'm never going to get married (though I'm not sure about that, lol), I just don't see a reason to.
 
I don't know if I want to get married or not, it's more like I want to find the right person before I even consider getting married. Ideally I'd want a secular wedding but have a huge ceremony because I love big celebrations and also love being the center of attention!


In my head I would always question people who speak of "when i get married..." when they're single, like how do they know for sure the right person will come along? I like to err on the side of caution lol

Same-sex marriage should not even be an issue and I am extremely disappointed in people who oppose it
 

Grey Wind

Well-Known Member
Not to offend anyone here who's married/getting married, but I just don't see the purpose of marriage. I mean, come on, you're already together, you don't need a public ceremony to prove that. =/

It's not like I'm never going to get married (though I'm not sure about that, lol), I just don't see a reason to.
Well it's seen as a social status by most people. Plus the legal benefits that come with it.
 

Mevejuma

Well-Known Member
Not to offend anyone here who's married/getting married, but I just don't see the purpose of marriage. I mean, come on, you're already together, you don't need a public ceremony to prove that. =/

It's not like I'm never going to get married (though I'm not sure about that, lol), I just don't see a reason to.

Well it's seen as a social status by most people. Plus the legal benefits that come with it.

Also, it's not about "proving" anything. It's about saying that you both truly love each other, and you're always going to be there for one another. You've found someone truly amazing and special, and marriage is a way of celebrating that fact with all of your friends and family, I mean come on, everyone loves to dress up, get together, eat a lot of food and have a party! I understand that some people would rather just be together and not marry, but marriage isn't just proving your relationship, it's a celebration.
 

Profesco

gone gently
I don't want to have children. I've decided years ago that I wouldn't mind raising kids, obviously provided I'm in a stable relationship and have the finances to do so, but I'm going to adopt because I'm not a selfish narcissist. Not saying all parents who produce their own kids are narcissists; I just don't understand why there is a need to have "your own" kids when so many existing kids don't have proper homes. Seriously.

Oh, now, that's not really fair, is it? Having a child isn't selfish or narcissistic any more than eating dinner is selfish or narcissistic - how can you eat when there are millions starving? And there's nothing stopping parents from procreating and adopting. =/



I appreciate marriage for the celebration and commitment it is. Unmarried couples can have just as loving and committed a relationship as married couples, of course, but of all the cultural celebrations and events and ways to physically and socially express one's happiness over a certain concept, marriage is the one for the love between two romantic partners. It's a party for you and your partner. Why not celebrate? It seems the only answer to that question is because you're too busy being cynical and countercultural to just enjoy a nice thing.
 

imperiumemperor

Emperor of Imperium
Oh, now, that's not really fair, is it? Having a child isn't selfish or narcissistic any more than eating dinner is selfish or narcissistic - how can you eat when there are millions starving? And there's nothing stopping parents from procreating and adopting. =/



I appreciate marriage for the celebration and commitment it is. Unmarried couples can have just as loving and committed a relationship as married couples, of course, but of all the cultural celebrations and events and ways to physically and socially express one's happiness over a certain concept, marriage is the one for the love between two romantic partners. It's a party for you and your partner. Why not celebrate? It seems the only answer to that question is because you're too busy being cynical and countercultural to just enjoy a nice thing.

I agree 100%. I mean, even if you ARE agnostic/atheist, why not marry? It's a display of affection and love. It's showing that you're committed to your partner for life.
 

Profesco

gone gently
I agree 100%. I mean, even if you ARE agnostic/atheist, why not marry? It's a display of affection and love. It's showing that you're committed to your partner for life.

Well, take note that the obvious response to these points is that an unmarried couple can display their affection and love every day without doing it in a wedding ceremony, and that they can show committment to their partners in daily behavior rather than in official documentation. The flaw in that response, however, is that it assumes a false dichotomy in which you either are married and have the ceremony and the paper but otherwise don't display daily love and committment, or you're unmarried and spend every day in a cocoon of love and committment that wouldn't be possible or necessary if you had the ceremony and the paper.

My point was that you can have both. Getting married doesn't diminish your ability to daily love your spouse, nor does it let you off the hook for all that affection and committment you'd be displaying while unmarried. It simply adds a specific party and some legal benefits to the relationship. =P

And religious identity or lackthereof need not be brought into the discussion.
?_?
 

Arceus94

Well-Known Member
For marriage to work, I need a boyfriend first. That's where I'm kinda f***ed.
I gave up love a long time ago xD

But the thought of waking up to a face that loves you, comming home to a guy that's only yours.
That thought is very, very soothing ...................
 

TheAceGlaceon

Statu variabilis
For marriage to work, I need a boyfriend first. That's where I'm kinda f***ed.
I gave up love a long time ago xD

But the thought of waking up to a face that loves you, comming home to a guy that's only yours.
That thought is very, very soothing ...................

I feel bad for you....
 

Arceus94

Well-Known Member

ScytheSwipe

Its whats for dinner
What do I think of marriage? I think it's the coming together of two people who hold a significant and loving bond, and wish to commit their lives to each other and always support one another through thick and thin. Though, obviously, not all marriages are like this.

I am not married, for I am only 18.

Again, being 18, marriage is way off in the future for me right now, but I think it's definitely on the cards for me at some point.

My parents are indeed married, and have been happily so for nearly 24 years now.

However my wedding takes place is obviously going to be a joint decision with my future partner, but personally, I wouldn't like it to be one of those quick registration ones. I go to church, and so a few of those I am closest to are Christian as well, and would probably like to see me in a church wedding, in fact my Reverend would probably want to hold the service, but if my future partner is not Christian and would feel uncomfortable with it, it's not something I'd try and push on her.

Gay marriage is fine in my eyes, I don't see why people have such a problem with it.

Children before marriage = definite no no. Before marriage I need to focus on myself and my own life, and the relationship I am building with whoever she will be, kids are the last thing I'd need at that point.

I like this and I find myself in a similar position to you. Good luck bro
 

Hikari Paradise

Forever Alone
"It's a trap."

I'm not going to bother because it's too much work and more often than not marriage ends in divorce. Losing half my assets and having to pay support is so not worth it. Plus it's cheaper to be single.
 

The Dark Titan

Well-Known Member
I think marriage is one of the greatest things in life, this, of course, doesn't mean that unmarried couples are not happy, it's just that for my way of seeing things, it is a great accomplishment, to have found someone who is willing to be tied to me as I am for him.

I am not married, but I will get married twelve days after my 18th birthday, on December the 12th =) I'm having a traditional wedding... wel as traditional as it can get with a gay marriage that a Father accepted to do because he's known me my whole life.

I normally would have preferred children until after I was married, but I have an adopted son and he's one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I honestly don't mind spending money on him in the slightless.

My parents are both dead, but they were married for 19 years before my mom discovered my dad was abusing me and they got a divorce... then she got a restriction order.
 

pikadon92

Raiden Maximus
Not married yet, so I don't really know what it is like, though I can imagine it to be the best thing. For now, it's too early for me to get married first off. I woud rather search for my soulmate, and marry her once I find the right girl. Equality in marrige is my preference, but if the male is supposed to be dominate, I would rather mature learn how to be a good leader MUCH beforehand. I prefer traditional wedding and sex the instant my wift strips off her wedding gown, though I may have to reconsider first; I don't really have plans on children yet.

IMO if the feelings of 2 people are true, they should deserve each other. However, I still think it's too early to say legalize homosexual marriage, though, the society not only have to accept homosexualty first (at least the majority), they also need to really understand what marriage is, it's not just a man and a kissing woman uniting together to form a family.

So ultimately, I believe in going steady.
 
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