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Mars & Venus

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
Yes, another original story from me, and my third one I'm going to be balancing along with the other two. Anyways rating is PG-13/R. This is set in an alternate universe and well, just read and you might understand.


~
:prologue:
The Crises
~​

Her name was Venus, but right now, she wouldn't have cared if it was Mud she had been named. Or anything else, if it would just keep her safe from Him. Her brother was still most likely, a good five minutes away, and the man she was trying to hide from was nearing her hiding place. The young woman covered her eyes in fear, she was going to be found, she was going to be found-

But it wasn't to be as a loud bellow rang through the air, swiftly followed by sounds of a scuffle and someone swearing, and beating a hasty retreat. Heavy panting filled the air now as the closet door was all but ripped off from where Venus was hiding. Squeaking in fear, Venus feared the worst. But the squeak died almost instantly as she saw the form of her brother, bleeding and beaten: a black eye to boot. But there he stood in all his glory.

That is untill Venus cried out in joy and jumped him, clinging to an arm with all her might as she broke out sobbing. Sighing, Mars ran a hand over his smaller sister's head, mindfull of her ears. “Sis, how many times did I have to tell you, not to get involved with that Wyrm?.”

~​

Venus sat on a couch in her brothers apartment. He had been adamant about not leaving her alone in their parents house anylonger while the two were on a cruise. Her light crimson ears were flat as can be, and nearly lost in creamy colored hair. She tried not to show her nervousness, but it was a lost cause as she constantly smoothed down the shorter, darker red fur on her arms or fidgeting with a shirt her brother had given her. Twin long, puffy red and black tails wrapped around her waist as best it could as she sat.

Venus, was a Kitsune. her brother, whom she admired- mostly as he was protective of his little sister, is a Kirin, on the verge of 'puberty', as his horns upon his slightly muzzled head was just starting to split at the ends: starting to go from six inch long ‘buttons’ to bone like antlers. His short hair was slowly becoming a mane, and his tail was elongating as scales started to grow between his eyes and down to his nostrils.

Mars paced back and forth, ignoring his sister watching him for the moment as he ranted to the police over his cellphone. But things seemed to not be going his way as he let off a growl that would make his father proud of, before hurling the small phone away from himself so hard, it struck a wall on the far side of the room and shattered upon contact.

Trying to calm himself down, Mars looked over at his sister after several moments. “The police aren't going to do anythying. It's a he said she said matter now.” Crossing his arms, Mars turned enough to shoot a glare at the broken phone. “Why didn't you listen to me in the first place sister?”

Looking down, Venus only murmured something, and her brother sighed. “No I'm not mad at you ... just mad that you did something stupid, Venus,” He was cut off by another sigh before he ran a clawed hand over his face for a few seconds. “Look, lets just get some sleep, and we'll figure something out tomorrow, ok? You can go sleep on my bed, I'll take the couch.”

“Alright,” the kitsune murmured softly, ears still flat as they could be as she stood up, still fidgeting also but atleast she was calming down. Mars only watched his younger sister leave the living room, disappearing down the hallway and persumably into his room. Once he was sure she was asleep, or atleast in his room, Mars allowed his shoulders to slump. This wasn't good. Not good at all. His parents had charged him with making sure his sister would be safe.. but how? He had a job, and couldn't just take his leave of it as he pleased…

Unless…

Quickly, before he could change his mind, Mars headed to the kitchen and grabbed the phone that was hanging there, pulling it of the charger attached to the wall, Mars dialed in a series of numbers carefully, but swiftly. Once done, he pulled the phone up, a bit akwardly, to his left ear and mouth. Then waited for the person on the other end of the line to pick up. The wait wasn't long, as it barely entered the third ring when it was picked up and a ‘Hello~’ rang out.

“Carlos, it's me. Mars. I've decided to take you up on the offer. Oh, no .. not for myself. God Carlos I love you man but like a brother so stop that. And don't pout. I'm straight, go find some other guy to hit on. Shut up already, ok? I've found someone else you can play dress up with. My sister- no I'm not being a pervert! I should bite your head off! Listen,” Mars cupped his hand over his mouth as he whispered, not wanting this to have a chance to be heard by anyone but Carlos.

“Ok, you got it? Good. I want you over here at five sharp. My sister usually doesn't wake before six, so we'll have an hour or so to prepare. Alright? Good, see you tomorrow…

“No I will not wear short shorts for you.”

~​

Venus stirred as she started to wake up. Cracking a golden orb open, Venus found that the sun was just starting to peer through a window and light the room up slightly, and the young fox girl would have started in fear if she didn't recognise her brothers room. She really was safe, and her former boyfriend hadn't succeeded in kidnapping her from her parents home.

Closing her eye, she yawned greatly: mouth parting wide as sharp, white canine teeth were revealed poking out from the pink flesh of her gums. Allowing her mouth to shut, the young girl pulled herself up into a seated position and scratched at her back before scritching behind an ear. And idly wondered if her brother had ever gotten a flea bath as it felt like fleas were biting her. Then she wondered if fleas even went after Kirins, even partial ones.

Allowing another yawn to escape her, the young kitsune slunk out of bed, still scratching at her back as she left her brothers bedroom. Her ears flicked slightly as she heard the muffled speaking of her brother with someone else, none the wiser, Venus headed towards it. Still bleary eyed and half asleep. And just hoping her brother ordered out for breakfast instead of making it.

Mars had shown he had no ability to cook that time he blew up the kitchen in their parents home. Then he'd been banned from even thinking about cooking with anything, anywhere the time he turned their father's barbeque into a rocket. They still hadn't found it either.

With a third yawn, Venus made her way out of the hallway and into the living room. As her mouth shut and eyes opened a bit more, she stood there just watching before saying, “Brother? What are you doing? Who is that?”

The ‘who’ Venus was refering too appeared to look like a peacock, though his coloring was wrong. Instead of being emerald or sapphire in color, he was a beautiful shade of red and yellow. And just about looked like a burning ember. Instead of hair, he had long flowing feathers that seemed to spark and flicker like flames. His legs and arms were scaled somewhat, making her think of her brother. And they were a different color to his plumage: a soft grey.

“This is Carlos,” Mars said while gesturing to the bird after a moment. The, Venus presumed Phoenix, waved slightly, his beak parting a bit and he seemed to smile at the younger girl. “And he is going to be helping you get dressed today.”

Venus blinked in confusion before spotting what Carlos was picking up. Blinked again. And just said: “... It's not halloween yet…”
 

Literate

black cat, black cat
Kool. @.@ Entertaining. Very. Entertaining. *slaps herself upside in the head* I can't say anything more, besides that this was well written and very very cool to read.

On another note, I noticed that you kinda made several mistakes in grammar. Lookie out for those, kays? There was a several words uncapitalized and you missed some commas. But no need to worry, it was enjoyable.

And I've got to ask, is this kind of like half-human, half-whatever-their-animals are?

~Literate
 

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
well atleast my grammar isn't getting worse. >> though am annoyed that I've only done one chapter for one fic, with no mistakes.

;-;

moving on from my errors and to answer your question: They're not really half human. The creatures are what I think are dubbed 'Anthromorphic' or 'furries' or something. Not human, but humanoid in some appearences.

o.o oh I think I spotted a place where I thought I placed a comma. And man I can't blame small errors like that on the keyboard >> got a new ones. A better one. One where the ink on the keys isn't gone on the vowels!

:x yes I write too much. And I babbled now XD
 

Lady Myuu

Damsel mostly Stressed.
Pretty good, though some words got jumbled to me :p then I realized I read em wrong so it was my bad.

Its a wee bit confusing but then again you always like to make us guess around until later chapters. Characters seem well enough and I'm sad Carlos is gay cuz I like the name Carlos.

I think you skipped out on some description that was needed, as kirin aren't a commonly known mythology animal. Kitsune are and Carlos is a pheonix right? When your doing anthros you gotta really help us ge hte picture because we had no heads up really. Well I did but others readers didn't :p it got confusing as to what they were.

Not much else to comment on until the next chapter. Though is Venus unable to dress herself? XD
 

Sike Saner

Peace to the Mountain
Okay, after reading two really good fics from you in one day, I just had to check out this one too when I saw it here. And just as I’d anticipated, this one’s good too.

The characters are my favorite aspect of the story so far – they’re fricking cool. *_* I love the design of them. Especially Carlos; phoenixes are just pretty as hell, but an anthro phoenix! Now that’s just effing awesome. ^^

Venus sat on a couch in her brothers apartment. He had been adamant about not leaving her alone in their parents house anylonger while the two were on a cruise. Her light crimson ears were flat as can be, and nearly lost in creamy colored hair. She tried not to show her nervousness, but it was a lost cause as she constantly smoothed down the shorter, darker red fur on her arms or fidgeting with a shirt her brother had given her. Twin long, puffy red and black tails wrapped around her waist as best it could as she sat.

Venus, was a Kitsune. her brother, whom she admired- mostly as he was protective of his little sister, is a Kirin, on the verge of 'puberty', as his horns upon his slightly muzzled head was just starting to split at the ends: starting to go from six inch long ‘buttons’ to bone like antlers. His short hair was slowly becoming a mane, and his tail was elongating as scales started to grow between his eyes and down to his nostrils.

Okay, those two are officially cool-looking. I bet they’d be very fun to draw…

“Carlos, it's me. Mars. I've decided to take you up on the offer. Oh, no .. not for myself. God Carlos I love you man but like a brother so stop that. And don't pout. I'm straight, go find some other guy to hit on. Shut up already, ok? I've found someone else you can play dress up with. My sister- no I'm not being a pervert! I should bite your head off! Listen,” Mars cupped his hand over his mouth as he whispered, not wanting this to have a chance to be heard by anyone but Carlos.

“Ok, you got it? Good. I want you over here at five sharp. My sister usually doesn't wake before six, so we'll have an hour or so to prepare. Alright? Good, see you tomorrow…

“No I will not wear short shorts for you.”

XD Oh, that was amusing… ^^

Allowing her mouth to shut, the young girl pulled herself up into a seated position and scratched at her back before scritching behind an ear. And idly wondered if her brother had ever gotten a flea bath as it felt like fleas were biting her.

XD Nice.

Mars had shown he had no ability to cook that time he blew up the kitchen in their parents home. Then he'd been banned from even thinking about cooking with anything, anywhere the time he turned their father's barbeque into a rocket. They still hadn't found it either.

Oh, man…the little movie that there caused to play in my head…XD Classic.

The ‘who’ Venus was refering too appeared to look like a peacock, though his coloring was wrong. Instead of being emerald or sapphire in color, he was a beautiful shade of red and yellow. And just about looked like a burning ember. Instead of hair, he had long flowing feathers that seemed to spark and flicker like flames. His legs and arms were scaled somewhat, making her think of her brother. And they were a different color to his plumage: a soft grey.

*_* Oh my God. And there’s someone else who begs to be drawn. I just love the way you describe these characters.
 

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
Invasion of the Sike :O

Anyways glad for the reviews- and Myuu, you gotta wait. This is third person, centered around Venus. And she's not gonna go into well thought out detail over her brother for no reason XD

And yay everyone loves Carlos it seems XD

*Throws cookies to Sike, Myuu and Literate*

And yes :O the first chapter is finally here!

~
:Chapter One:
The New Kid On The Block

~​

“Stop fidgeting,” Carlos said in a lightly scolding tone to the young boy by his side as he lead him through the throng to the acadamy. “Your cousin will be here later to pick you up. Alright?”

The younger, and smaller fox boy nodded his head; shortly cut cream hair bouncing as his red ears were lain back against his skull. Nervously he glanced around before shifting closer to Carlos, “This is a flyers school. I'm not a flyer.” He said in a hushed and worried whisper.

Carlos waved a hand slightly. “You have the genes though, Mars and I did some history digging in your family, and we found your mother, on her father's side, has several pegasus ancestors, and, not surprisingly, a dragon. So now we know why you fell for tall dark and perverted.”

The young lad blushed and ducked his head, trying to hide with his hair- only to find it impossible now since it was so short. As if sensing his distress, Carlos continued. “Now now, everyone makes mistakes. Even if Mars had warned you, he was just being an over protective brother... to tell you the truth,” Carlos lowered his voice slightly, “if he is as handsome as you claimed he was one time, I would have hit on him faster than a fly to honey.”

This seemed to calm the kit down some as he looked up to Carlos after a moments pause. “So he doesn't hate me? ... this isn't punishment?”

“.. hate? Hate you? Oh dear thing you are niave!” chuckled Carlos as he ruffled the young kits hair. “If he hated you, Ven, he'd not have gone through the trouble of calling me to help you get in here! Though between you and me, I think in a way he sees this as punishment for going against his orders. Oh, all hail lord Mars.”

Carlos gave a birdy grin when ‘Ven’ snickered softly into his paws at that. Though this joyful moment was interupted as three shadows loomed over the two. Carlos glanced up, and his cheerful demenor was cast aside in a cloud of what appeared to be some anger. And the young kitsune found himself roughly shoved behind Carlos.

“What do you three pieces of shell want.” Carlos snapped out, his beak actually making a clacking sound with how forcefully he threw it out.

Peering around Carlos, Ven managed to catch sight of the perpitrators of Carlos's anger. They were insanely tall things, of the likesVen had never seen before. The middle one reminded him slightly of Mars. The scales and all, but the likeness ended there. The muzzle was long, and broad. Teeth much sharper and more dangerous than his own shown from the scaled lips. Wolflike ears sat proudly on his head as dark sapphire and emerald shaded scales glistened in the light. Long golden/blue whiskers twitched slightly as they hung from his muzzle, as a tail ending in a furred ruffle of gold twitched back and forth lazily behind him. The two others were much the same in this wolf-dragon like appearence.

“So the want to be shell layer has come back?” The middle one said, ignoring Carlos's question. Ven didn't get what he meant, but by the way Carlos flinched, it was an insult. Ven looked back towards the trio and almost shrank back. They'd come closer..

“I said, what do you want?”

But once more he was ignored, and the gold-orange one grabbed one of Carlos's arms, all but hauling him into the air. “Do you hear this brothers? This little feather duster demands to know what we are doing.” The other two smirked, and everyone seemed to have forgotten about Ven, even when he squeaked in surprise at Carlos being hauled into the air.

“You've been shirking your duties again,“ The other one, the black-gold one quiped out mockingly. “Or did you think we wouldn't notice?”

“I think plucking this little fowl is in order,” the taller brute sneered out, and was about to add something when he paused and then let out a howl of pain.

“Leave him alone you slug brains!” Ven cried out, dropping the blue ‘demons’ tail before sprinting off. Carlos was dropped as the middle bully roared out an ‘after that brat!’.

Carlos yelped as he landed on the ground, before picking himself up. Violet eyes wide with fear at the thought of what these people might do to Ven if they caught him. Pushing himself to his feet, Carlos wobbled slightly before dashing after them all.

~​

‘What was I thinking, I can't fight these guys! Oh my god I'm going to be ate or killed. They're going to rip me to shreds!’

These thoughts and those simalur ran through Ven's mind as quickly as he ran over the ground. Just about sprinting on all fours in places as he took corners too closely, or had to dive to avoid other students unprepared for a barreling by fox. Or just plain too stunned to take in the fact diving out of the way was something much needed.

Venus probably would have kept running, as he was doing so as he crashed into a room- if he hadn't also crashed into someone else.

But it seemed Ven's luck, and sense of direction were no help for him today, as he stumbled for his balance from trying to hault his heedless rush into the room, the young kitsune crashed into a large, tall, blue form. There came a terrified yelp from Ven, and an injured bellowing from the blue form as they both went down hard.

Two hissing snarls of surprise came from several feet away, but Ven still didn't realise what danger he was in, untill he was grabbed cruely by his two tails and hauled into the air by a jet black hand. “You little brat! Assaulting our brother like that!” The gold streaked ebony dragon like creature roared at Ven, ignoring the pained yelp from the young fox kit. “You will pay dearly for that!”

If Ven wasn't absolutely terrified about being ate or killed right then and there on the spot, he'd have noticed the two loud hissing agrements coming from the golden-orange one, and the blue one he'd run into. The poor kit had jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire. For if biting the tail of the blue one hadn't been enough. He'd gone and really hurt him it seemed. And now Ven was going to pay…

Flinching, the young kit waited for the blow as he hung upside down. Fearing that the world was going to end for him.

But it never came…

“Just what in the blazes of Seya, are you doing in my wing?” A voice snarled out, and Ven heard an exclimation of pain and fear, as it seemed someone had interupted the blow meant for him. Ven didn't dare open his eyes yet: so he didn't see the arm that wrapped around his waist and pulled him from the cruel bully, righted him and set him upright. But then ignored him as the focus of its attention was turned towards the three.

So no one saw that Ven grew dizzy and fell over.

“Your wing? This isn't your wing yet you fuzz ball!” Hissed the blue wolf-dragon creature as his tail swished side to side from his anger. "You are an arrogant student! Our father owns this school, not you!”

Piercing ice blue eyes narrowed as white fur bristled on the back of the humanoid being. “If you don't believe that your father gave me this wing, why don't you go speak with him, Darian.”

‘Darian’ was apparently the blue one. For that was who smirked at the ‘opponent’ he was facing. “Oh I will, kitty-cat. And I'll bring it up to him that you're protecting someone that injured his first son!”

Growling at the insult, he snapped out: “I doubt your father will believe you, as you appear to be putting wieght on your injured leg.”

There was a long and silent pause, before a vicious, and meaningless snarl escaped Darian and he whirled around, rushing off. His two lacky like brothers hissing at their new found ‘enemy’ before hurrying after their brother.

After a long pause, it seemed the mysterious hero finally realised that the one he had saved was on the floor. With a quirked eyebrow, he bent down and helped pull the little fox kit up. Even if he was only a foot shorter than himself, the fox kit was of slimmer build and appeared to be like a feather manipulated by wind.

“Hey, hey are you alright?”

Ven started to come around, even before being righted, or hearing the voice. Mumbling a bit, as he was still a bit disorintated, Ven slowly opened his eyes and first thought he was looking up at an angel. Then realised, no, not an angel. Even though he was a dazzling snow white, with dark grey to silver stripes along his arm, face, and what else Ven could see. And even though he had wings that were a dark silverish color, Ven knew after a moment it wasn't an angel.

For Mars wouldn't have let him die so easily. And it dawned upon him that this was a ‘Cagryph’ and not an angel.

The tiger like face obtained a grin and his blue eyes lit up. “Hey you are ok little buddy, thought you were a gonner or something for sure. Amazed you survived this long though after running into the terror trio,” he continued on, ignoring the still somewhat shocked expression on the kit as he started to lead him off, still bantering away.

~​

Ven learned many things about the school he was going to attend, as the Cagryph helped him in trying to find Carlos, as Ven was worried for the Phoenix, and new Carlos was probably having kits from anxiety about Ven's welfare.

And so Ven was unprepared for what happened next.

“So,“ the Cagryph started as he lead Ven through the halls, ocassionally getting side tracked long enough to say a hello to a friend or classmate as he passed them. “I never caught your name.”

“Oh,” Ven said a bit nervously and fidgeted a moment before saying, “Ven, it's Ven Rien.” Ven was nervous, because the ‘Rien’ family, was very well known, and well, powerful. They were his family really, but it was only because his father's sister had married into the family- and they were trying to pass Ven off as an offspring of her and her mate.

The Cagryph whistled in awe. “You're lucky there bud. Anyways the name's Mars Strom.”

Ven actually looked like he hit a wall at the mention of the Cagryph's name. That was the same as his brothers. And the irony of his thought earlier, came back to laugh at him. “Mars?”

‘Mars’ laughed. “Yeah. Pretty common name, I know. But it was popular like ‘Venus’ and ‘Neptune’,” Mars paused long enough to chuckle. “There was this hype, I learned from my mother, that the names of the planets and the ‘old gods’ would bring power to those that strived for it.”

Ven is left where he's standing a moment before realising Mars hadn't stopped walking, or noticed Ven had halted, and he hurried to catch up with him.

And inwardly something made Ven think this was gonna be a long, long school year.

Maybe it was the fact he had made three very serious enemies of those dragons… or maybe it was something else entirely...
 

Sike Saner

Peace to the Mountain
Though between you and me, I think in a way he sees this as punishment for going against his orders. Oh, all hail lord Mars.

XD Good ol' Carlos...

They were insanely tall things, of the likesVen had never seen before. The middle one reminded him slightly of Mars. The scales and all, but the likeness ended there. The muzzle was long, and broad. Teeth much sharper and more dangerous than his own shown from the scaled lips. Wolflike ears sat proudly on his head as dark sapphire and emerald shaded scales glistened in the light. Long golden/blue whiskers twitched slightly as they hung from his muzzle, as a tail ending in a furred ruffle of gold twitched back and forth lazily behind him. The two others were much the same in this wolf-dragon like appearence.

And there are some more cool-looking beings to add to the mix. I just love these character designs…


I continue to love the hell out of Carlos. He has priceless dialogue, he really does. *wants to hug him* And interesting new characters have now appeared, too; I liked those wolf-dragon bullies, and I really liked Mars the Cagryph. Oh, yes. His demeanor is easy to like. Plus...he sounds hot. *_*
 
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