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Max's Hoenn Journey

chosen_one386

Angel of Chaos
Once again, I'm blown away by the detailed description you give for your Pokemon battles. I'm way too impatient to get on to the next plot point to do that. >_< Bravo.

I noticed a few spelling errors, but they were minor. One that you continued to misspell was Dewford. I think you spelled it Dewnord a bunch of times in there.

Another suggestion would be to put more description in when you have a new random character appear on the scene. I was a bit confused when April appeared, and didn't even know she was a girl until halfway through the conversation. Plus, I like to get a picture in my mind of a character at the very beginning...

Great job! Keep it up! :)

*Buss and Cassidy for the win!*
*It's Butch!*
*...Whatever*
 

harryheart

Well-Known Member
Hey guys thanks for reviewing so quickly! Now onto your comments!

Once again, I'm blown away by the detailed description you give for your Pokemon battles. I'm way too impatient to get on to the next plot point to do that. >_< Bravo.

Thank you there! I love the battles and the extravagent battle scenes and these are some of my favourite aspects of writing Pokemon and this is why I'm glad I can incorporate them into the plot in so many different manners.

I noticed a few spelling errors, but they were minor. One that you continued to misspell was Dewford. I think you spelled it Dewnord a bunch of times in there.

Ah I probably should've mentioned but that's a made up Town on Dewford Island, and so it's like you have Dewford Town and Dewnord is towards the North of the Island as such! So there are plenty of places to visit but the main things occur in the 'city' as such which is Dewford but I've decieded to make Harriet go for the Dewnord Town Contest instead :p

Another suggestion would be to put more description in when you have a new random character appear on the scene. I was a bit confused when April appeared, and didn't even know she was a girl until halfway through the conversation. Plus, I like to get a picture in my mind of a character at the very beginning...

Great job! Keep it up! :)

Okay yes in hinsight that would've been a good idea. Looking back my intentions were justified but I just imagined this type of response and thusly I should've at least attempted to describe her from the onset. The reason she's not entirely characterised now is because of her more important later appearance... *and for another reason as well which is quite dastardly and cruel* but I presume I could've added some details in there. Perhaps I shall go do that now.... :)

*Buss and Cassidy for the win!*
*It's Butch!*
*...Whatever*

lol! I love that gag! I'm hoping to at least have this occur a few more times!

I second more description to COTDs, and it's great to see Butch and Cassidy again.

As said above really but I probably should've at least mentioned her main features lol!

Edit I've now updated the first sentence where the new arival speaks and thusly there is a little more description which still doesn't give too much away as that's the attention but desribes her from the word go. Thanks for the advice there guys.
 
Last edited:

Jessie_James

I have returned!
Lol yay Butch and Cassidy well done yet again :) I am gonna have to paste the story on my Word so I can print them and read em.

I may show them in my fic now and then as well
 

harryheart

Well-Known Member
The edit looks a lot better now. :) Just a little bit of description gets you a long way.

Thanks Chosen, I guess it didn't hurt her identity at all either which is good :D

Lol yay Butch and Cassidy well done yet again :) I am gonna have to paste the story on my Word so I can print them and read em.

I may show them in my fic now and then as well

Thank you very much and I hope you do enjoy it all :) And Butch and Cassidy have a lot if interesting appearances left to come so I hope you enjoy all of their future antics too!
 

Jessie_James

I have returned!
Woo hoo :)
 

Ambassador_JJ

First officer
Excellent?

Well Harry, Nice to see ya around Serebii forums again! Lol

I'm going to cut straight to the Chase on this one:
-Excellent Plot arrangement!
-Do I detect traces of situational Irony?
-Overall Great Chapter!​

However, here we are, onto the Rating part of the Show! It is with Great honor I award Chapter 26, a 9.99975 out of 10. 9.99975, because of an instantly noticeable spelling/usage error, among one or two other less noticeable errors! lol. You spelled what was intended to be "Thirst" , as, and I quote, "First". But don't worry, a 9.99975 still earns you the ;006; (Charizard) Seal of Awesomeness! and Remember if you round up, 9.99975 is approximately 10! :)

Just a notice, the whole 9.99975 out of 10 was for spelling. I certainly wasn't dissing the Plot, because that Chapter, small as it may have been, was extremely well written. You should be proud!
 

harryheart

Well-Known Member
Well Harry, Nice to see ya around Serebii forums again! Lol

I'm going to cut straight to the Chase on this one:

-Excellent Plot arrangement!
-Do I detect traces of situational Irony?
-Overall Great Chapter!

Well thank you very much Ambassador. Just have one thing to ask, what do you mean by situational irony here? Also I'm really excited about the relevance that this chapter has on future chapters and how it's going to be really an ongoing plot with everything that occured so it adds a lot of excitement into my writing for me :D

However, here we are, onto the Rating part of the Show! It is with Great honor I award Chapter 26, a 9.99975 out of 10. 9.99975, because of an instantly noticeable spelling/usage error, among one or two other less noticeable errors! lol. You spelled what was intended to be "Thirst" , as, and I quote, "First". But don't worry, a 9.99975 still earns you the ;006; (Charizard) Seal of Awesomeness! and Remember if you round up, 9.99975 is approximately 10! :)

Ah thanks for that one :) useful to have these things pointed out to me, I think I need to re-read these things closer and in more depth it seems to stop possible mistakes slipping through like that. If you were also referring to Dewnord as a mistake I can assure it that it's not, it's just another town name.

Just a notice, the whole 9.99975 out of 10 was for spelling. I certainly wasn't dissing the Plot, because that Chapter, small as it may have been, was extremely well written. You should be proud!

Thank you again very much! I love the story and where it's headed and I also love all my readers who stick with it, and often irregular forms of posting or just general laziness on my behalf so thank you to everyone. Until Next Time!
 

Ambassador_JJ

First officer
Reply! :)

Well thank you very much Ambassador. Just have one thing to ask, what do you mean by situational irony here?

I mean, Butch, and Cassidy being the "bad" characters they supposedly are, wanting to protect that Pokemon. Ironic, Eh?

There was another Example somewhere in there, but it is 4:30AM my time, and it's been nearly a week since I read that particular Chapter. But Either way, Excellent Chapter! :)
 

harryheart

Well-Known Member
I mean, Butch, and Cassidy being the "bad" characters they supposedly are, wanting to protect that Pokemon. Ironic, Eh?

Makes sense now. Thank you for explaining it and well yes this is something I feel that really developsthem as characters.
 

harryheart

Well-Known Member
So.... When do we expect another Chapter, eh? :)

I must apologise for the lateness! Somehow the end of College was more tiring and more work than the lead up to exams and then I've been busy these past couple of weeks with my local Churches and the time has just flown! I am truly sorry! Half of it was already written and edited and I've started work on the remaining half and it should be done before I go away on 9th August! Then towards the end of August there should be at least 1 more! Sorry for the delay
 

harryheart

Well-Known Member
I apologise firstly for the 3 month hiatus I've taken, I had half of what's here written by mid way through May and then revision and exams meant I stopped and it took me a while to get back into it, so thanks for all the encouragment to get this one done and all the support I still get from you guys! You are loyal, amazing readers and your feedback and support helps me so much!

A little info about this Chapter... It was originally one chapter but as you can see by the title I've now split it up! This continues right where we left off and goes into the Contest which I hope isn't too boring as it entertaining just like the last one was, but the reason it's so long is we get to see two new Contest rivals make way so I felt they had to have their first performance detailed in the full.

So without further ado, enjoy! And also this is the last time Max's Hoenn Journey - Intro 2 applies, from the next chapter we get a new one!​

Chapter 27: A Silhouette Backtrack (Part 1)

The bleakness swept through the creamy, usually pleasant PokéCentre foyer where the enjoyable mood had quickly been sapped from the peaceful room, leaving only blank expressions of fear on Max and Harriet’s faces. Nurse Joy was also in shock, airing her cautious feelings as she approached both trainers from behind her desk accompanied by her habitually boisterous and happy Chansey who was now trembling with a slight edge of fear from viewing the live images streamed through the PokeComs. Everyone, including the Pokémon, had the same trickling thoughts of confusion that persistently rattled their minds, unsure of what had just occurred in Rustboro.

The pink haired nurse, now directly behind the two youths, placed both of her hands on the pair’s shoulders in an effort to sooth their fears. Finally, after a few more moments of echoing silence, she opened her mouth and allowed her tranquil voice to calm the duo.

“Max… Harriet… I’m, well I’m afraid that all PokeComs devices seem to be down, and… and I can’t even contact any of the surrounding cities. I’m truly sorry.”

An angry flare flickered in Max’s eyes at this, as his pondering thoughts began to overtake his natural collected nature; his fists clenched and his eyes grew cold. He quickly thrust Nurse Joy’s hand from his shoulder, frantically storming to the other end of the foyer where he proceeded to rasp his fist against the wall in frustration. Everything seemed completely impossible to him, even in some essences pushing the natural order of reality; he only expected these constant chaotic events to occur on the big screen in a big budgeted movie…

“Nurse Joy… it’s not your fault at all,” Harriet whispered, wondering whether to ignore the distraught Max or attempt to cool him down from his rage, “Thank you for trying as well, I guess these events over the past day weren’t just on the spur of the moment but were in fact planned…”

She was quickly interrupted by Max who seemed to engage with what Harriet had just said, “Exactly what I was thinking… it’s all been planned and this means Team Sukai are deadly serious, and dangerous…” he screamed, allowing his fuming energy to be propelled by his voice as his fists slammed yet again against the ceramic tiles on the wall, “They seem much worse than Team Aqua or Team Magma were a couple of years ago… in fact I suppose they could be classed as terrorists with the violent acts they’ve now committed!”

“Come on Max, shouting’s not going to help…” Nurse Joy soothingly suggested, proceeding over to Max who was nearly balling his eyes out with tears, yet his anger was successfully suppressing them, “My suggestion to the both of you would be to carry on going to wherever you were headed and then call me later this evening for an update ok, there’s no point staying here and putting your journey on hold…”

Harriet, agreeing, nodded, now also standing side by side with Max who had finally stopped trembling because of his anger. She wrapped her left arm around his shoulders and delightfully smiled into his gaze, hoping to add some sense of hope to his depression that had quickly and overwhelmingly swamped his body.

“Do Nurse Joy’s words remind you of another wise person, Max? Roxanne wouldn’t want us to waste our time here either, and I’m sure the contest tomorrow will help us to stay focused.”

Max gulped away the brewing tears and embraced Harriet in a grateful hug, filled with his expressions of thanks and love at her ever brightening kindness. He knew he was lucky to have acquired such a joyful and caring friend as Harriet and he also knew it wasn’t fair on her if he robbed her of the chance to compete in the Dewnord Village contest. If anything could really help cheer him up, besides being able to know Roxanne and Brock were fine, it would be watching her passionately win her first ribbon.

*****​

A giant chasm of wind repelled off the ever nearing ground, spraying the surrounding foliage with great quantities of dust and lumps of dirt as the final Capsule, with Apollo triumphantly watching his plans unravel from the Bridge of his descending vessel, was nearing the completion of its landing decent right into the middle of a circular creation of five other Capsules. Finally, all movements ceased and noises faded as Capsule 1 was securely rooted on its stabilising gear that had retracted, along with a hatchway, when the decent had begun. Team Sukai’s Rustboro assault team were all now mobilised.

The silence continued to hold its lingering grip in the clearing from Petalburg Woods that neatly distributed a clear view of the city, brimming in its own confusion as the preliminary tactical assaults had begun. The sun’s rays were mightily beaming across the reflective tower blocks, a busy shopping centre that was now filled with the numerous citizens attempting to rebuild after their previous attack, and hoards of broken streets, but yet again terror now gripped their hearts.

As the horrors began to pour out of the initial helicopters, where the specially trained agents who were kitted from head to toe in a full camouflage outfit and armed with numerous PokeBalls and high yielding explosives savagely began their hostage campaign; calmness and purity only loitered amongst Team Sukai’s most top ranking officers watching from afar. Their own missions didn’t begin until the city was in complete lockdown, making their tasks fluently easier.

Apollo, who was now effortlessly strolling out of the hatch from the Capsules Delivery Bay, followed by his Principles and Subordinates to meet his five Heads and their teams, was ready to lead Team Sukai to their first victory! Hoenn was, in his eyes, ensured to his control and ready to face the wrath of his plans; following suit would be the world…

*****​

With a resounding sigh, Harriet lent against the smooth edges of the Contest Hall, patterned with splashes of colour here and there depicting images of Dewnord Village’s most iconic Pokémon, Sableye, who had been a wandering spirit amongst the town for numerous years. Accompanying him, however, were other Pokémon all in victorious stances, a Lileep, an Aaron and plenty of others, and so she presumed that these had just been a few dazzling winners of the sought after ribbon, but today it didn’t really tickle her interests to enquire any further.

She had been waiting on the announcement from Vivian for the Contest to begin for what seemed to her to be hours, and now her mind had successfully begun to worry for the millionth time about Roxanne and Brock, stuck in Rustboro amongst all the ongoing confusion and terror. Nurse Joy still had no success in reaching any communication devices in the vicinity of Rustboro, including the cities of Verdanturf and Petalburg, and this had worried Harriet even more. This led her to believe something dark was preparing to reveal itself in a disastrous way and she knew no-one was ready to deal with the consequences.

As her own feelings brewed, she scanned the perfect horizon, where brisk water was lapping the edges of the sandy, golden stained beaches, and she noticed some calm and tranquil Pokémon floating gently through the air, allowing themselves to travel wherever. The Hoppip seemed wondrously at liberty; peaceful and laid back allowing the wind to guide them. Their freedom and serenity was undoubtedly something she envied, yet just by watching them feel content amongst the relaxing sea front it brought some essences of peace to her own thoughts. Somehow things were going to work out; she truly had to believe that.

As she continued to stare into the clerical void, the overhead tannoys began to crackle, and Harriet knew, automatically out of instinct, what was about to follow: “Would all contestants please report to the waiting room, the Contest will begin shortly!”

Somehow the comforting words from Vivian soothed the inner most demons that had set about to rattle around inside and shake fear into her core being. The prospect of allowing her Pokémon to extravagantly shine was a calming remedy to her angst and for the time being she had to place worry aside and concentrate on securing her first Hoenn Ribbon. Chikorita and Mothim deserved that.

After a brief reflective time of thinking, she slithered away from the wall and proceeded towards the open archway that only moments ago had born witness to her berated sobs. Now, as she re-entered the stadium, a faint flicker of glee was apparent upon the tear stained cheeks and a brewing fire of passion was evidently present.

*****​

The stadium hall was packed with fans, all buzzing with excitement at the chance to witness another Contest in their home town, and finally after months of preparation from the Contest committee, the stage was set. The crowd overlooked the bustling, dirt covered battle arena, where a panel of three judges sat with awaiting eager plastered on their faces. The contestants were also brimming with emotion as they awaited backstage, comfortable sofas adorning the room to help keep all nerves down. The giant screen, placed centrally on the far wall, was beaming with multicoloured light as it portrayed the images of Vivian making her final pre-contest performance before she announced the start of the preliminaries.

One of the vibrant red sofas was fully covered by Harriet and her draping cerulean dress with emerald coated beads that exquisitely matched the heat of the red colour. She lay listening to the commentary, eyes shut, half day dreaming and half tuned in. She did, however, recall noticing a rather handsome looking boy, tailored with the most heart throbbing muscles and garnished with a wonderful head of navy blue hair. His presence commanded power, and she knew all that just from her glimpses of his dreamy look. Luckily for her, his red fleece was strewn across the back of another sofa and the black top underneath was quite a close fit and neatly introduced his six pack to her eyes. Yet, somehow it didn’t quite shape up in the same extent to Curtis, who had literally (to Harriet) run off with her heart back in Rustboro.

She slowly sat up; allowing the extravaganzas of the excitement to filter back into her head. She contemplated drifting back outside until her announcement was called, but that seemed like too much effort. Right now she felt content gazing upon the attractive boy that was still oblivious to her sparkling gawk.

Before she had any more time to dream about prince charming fairytales, he quickly sprang to his feet as the number 13 flashed up on the Coordinator monitor. Within a split second he was out of the room, fleece flung back over his head, and he seemed quite prepared for what was about to come.

“Now that we’ve seen all the Coordinators for today’s Contest, we can begin with the preliminaries,” the young lady, decorated from head to toe in vibrant pink colours, cheered, “Each contestant must use two Pokémon in their performance. So, without further ado, please welcome Jimmy Kenta, all the way from Johto, on his debut performance to the Contest stage!”

The young lad leapt through the violet velvet curtains, kitted with a PokeBall in each hand and his iconic yellow and black striped hat. It was carefully rotated on his head to allow a tuff of his navy blue hair to poke through and keep it from draping over his red fleece. He wasted no time in finesse or elegance and proceeded to fling the two PokeBalls into the air in a rather untidy fashion, which neatly fitted in with his scruffy look that he had mastered so delicately.

“Croagunk and Wingull, it’s time to show them how much we want this!”

As his command hurdled from his mouth, the two circular objects burst open with a crackling noise and a radiating white light that beheld two unique creatures; one slouched over the ground and the other one hovering elegantly above its trainers head.

“Wingull, fly to the top of the stadium, go! And Croagunk stand directly below!” The two Pokémon moved with lightning speed; the Croagunk springing from location to location and spewing dust beneath its webbed like feet, before even one cycle of his contracting orange pouches had been completed. The Wingull, on the other hand, delightfully twiddled its three part tail along the crease of the blue strip of feathers as a show of excitement. It was obvious that these two were full of energy.

“Wingull, it’s time for you to use Gunk Shot directly on Croagunk below!” Jimmy cried, alleviating a lot of his built up thrill through his commands.

His bird Pokémon responded by rapidly opening its yellow and black beak, where a hidden bulge of purple goo had been spawned into Wingull’s throat. The build up continued to increase until little droplets of this acidic attack were gently falling onto the golden coloured floor below, and this was Jimmy’s next cue.

“Now Wingull, tilt yourself upside down and spin… but retain your height and Croagunk spin on the spot while launching a Poison Jab at the oncoming Gunk Shot!”

The two acted as commanded by controlling their bodies, with precession, the way their trainer had asked. Neither flinched at the possible dangers that faced them, nor did they attempt to go leniently on each other. It was time to put all their practice efforts into this one stunt and make perfection.

The spiralling goo of spitting violet’s and mauve’s began its decent out of the now blurry white and blue mass that was spinning uncontrollably in the air; the crowd overlooked with amazement at the accuracy and positioning of Wingull. Somehow it hadn’t moved its position in the air at all!

The bubbling gunk was now nearing impact with Croagunk, who had also begun his own spiralling antics with one of his arms stretched higher above the rest of his body. The tip of his fist was now emanating with a fantastic vibrant purple light that glowed so beautifully amongst the rays of yellow sunshine quietly creeping into the room. However, the crowd didn’t have long to marvel at this spectacle as the gunk quickly made impact with Croagunk and he was shrouded with a veil of poison goo.

There was a rapid fire of hushed gasps as the onlookers leapt to their feet, anticipating the worst for Croagunk. The only visible thing in the whole routine was the torrent of Gunk Shot that seemed to keep continuously spouting from the speeding Wingull. The crowds’ eyes turned towards Jimmy, expecting to see shock horror spreading over his face. Yet, to their amazement, he still had his expanding grin growing over his complexion.

“Now Croagunk!”

With a blinding flash of harsh lavender coloured light coming from inside the surge, the surrounding veil of gunk that had piled up around Croagunk’s last known position burst into the air in a huge coiled mass. It quickly rose, as if on hinges, away from the Poison type, who had, through all the turmoil, managed to keep to the commands of his trainer. His spinning body was creating a wind that repelled the goo upwards until it met with the downwards resistance from Wingull’s own air force, and this combined energy created a barrier across the stadium that separated the two Pokémon. The colours were exquisite too, blending nicely together and forming bubbling sparks of energy that were able to float away as if they had no care in the world. It was symmetrical beauty.

Jimmy grinned with amazement, in awe at his Pokémon’s wondrous power. He had wished on many an occasion to show the world that his Pokémon weren’t only tough, and this was finally his moment. Now it was time for him to give his Pokémon their grand ending!

“Time for our finale guys, Wingull stop spinning and begin to flap your wings and mould the remaining Gunk Shot into a ball and surround Croagunk, then I want you, old boy, to use Endure!”

The duo once again responded accurately and swiftly to their trainers’ words, no hesitation and no fumbling about. Croagunk immediately resonated to an abrupt halt, slowly letting his pulsating wrist quell and the astonishing light to fade, leaving his usual black and orange, three fingered hand in its place. Floating gently above his head was his partner Wingull, who had begun frantically flapping both its wings to create a moulding wind that would shape the remaining Gunk Shot around the Poison type below.

Before anyone could fathom a blink of their eyes, the command had been accomplished. The harsh liquids were spiralling with grace around a pivotal point, Croagunk, as Wingull continued to flap both its wings and continue to create mirages of colours and patterns in the twirl of goo. Inside the swirling mass, a distant and faint white light began to illuminate the wondrous shapes that surrounded it in the gunk, continuously growing brighter and brighter with every second that past on the clock. The intensity grew ever stronger for the naked eye to behold; everything was undergoing radiating enlightenment, until…

“Right, Croagunk break through the barrier and enter the finishing pose with Wingull, begin!”

The veil of goo shattered to pieces as shining fists burst through the sides as if it were feeble and fragile glass, splintering the mass along the bubbling creases that had formed. The scarred remains were gently glowing in the intensity of the sparkling and heavenly light that had encompassed Croagunk’s entire body. None of his original body colours remained.

As the fragments soared through the air and flopped onto the floor below, Wingull swooped down from its height and perched on top of Croagunk’s head, which was now regaining its original blue colour. Their routine was over; finished with utter perfection. Jimmy had just set the marker extremely high for all candidates to follow, in fact, the bar seemed practically impossible to leap over.

“Wow, what a way to start of our Contest! Just… unbelievable!” Vivian cried through her microphone whilst performing a hand gesture for the spot lights to centre in upon the judges, “And now we’ll go to our judges for comments and scores!”

As the Coordinators sat backstage, they could hardly hear Vivian’s next few comments over the loud, intense roars emitting from the crowd. Everyone was stunned, bowled over by the clumsy boy everyone had witnessed enter the stage. His combination had been executed to the letter, there appeared to be no faults at all! Even Harriet had to re-think her initial thoughts about that man, maybe he wasn’t just a looker, and maybe he packed quite a punch!

“We’ll first go to Mr Sukizo for our opening comments and scores!”

“Well, absolutely remarkable if I may so, just plain and awesome remarkable! I’ll be awarding an 18.”

Plastered with a huge grin, Vivian turned back to the crowd, attempting not to let any fighting chuckles fleet through her mouth, “Well… very insightful words there, now onto Nurse Joy!”

“Wasn’t that just a show of raw imagination and talent put together?” the young lady said, while stroking one of her pink curls that ran down the side of her face, “I must say, I’ve never witnessed something quite like that before, never has anyone attempted something quite the same, so I feel originality points must be awarded as well so here’s a 19 from me… almost a perfect score!”

“And that gives Jimmy a score of 37 so far, let’s see what his final scoring will be after talking to Mr Contesta!”

“I feel there’s not much else to add comments wise, your execution was perfect and your Pokémon just delivered in every area! You’ll have a lot to live up to in your next performance young man, that’s for sure… but here and now I’ll be awarding you an 18 as well!”

“That gives Jimmy a total score of 55, everyone! That’s a fantastic way to start any Contest, and now let’s put our hands together once more for Jimmy, before we welcome our next Coordinator, Henry Bronlyn!”

A cold shiver entered the colourful backstage area, dampening the previously energetic mood. Everyone seemed to have forgotten that somebody would have to eventually follow this act, and now all eyes rested on Henry… and everybody knew that this could easily set him up for failure.

*****​

The fortified lump continued to bounce off the silver coloured arena walls, leaving deep and dark lacerations in the paint and brick work. This golden coloured body, rotating on its axis as if it was a spinning top, was also firing numerous purple spikes in all directions at the glistening sharp leaves that were being sprayed into the spaces around it, piercing them to small fragments and allowing the green waste to cover and decorate the usual dusty floor.

The small reptilian creature that was centred in the middle of this display, resembling that of a plant bulb, was standing on its two hind legs whilst it used its front two as a mode of balance. Its bulb had tilted at a rear angle, a few inches above his ivory back, and in the gap left towards the shoulders of the Pokémon, the sharpened leaves spouted out like fighter pilots launched from base, soaring as salvo into the air.

“Brilliant you two, this is just as I hoped!” the strong woman remarked, stuffing another lock of her brown hair back into the pristine white beanie resting upon her head, clearing her vision for Pokémon’s finale, “Now, Bulbasaur, grab Sandshrew with your Vine Whip in mid air, but Sandshrew, keep using your Gyro Ball but lay off the Poison Sting!”

The crowd were once again gripped to the edges of their seats, captivated by the young ladies commands and her elegant Pokémon that were swiftly enacting upon their trainer’s words. Two long, sturdy vines extended from the base of the bulb on the reptiles back and stung into the air, quickly latching on to the spinning golden glow right above his head. April stood with confidence, one hand clasped on her hip with the other packed neatly into a pocket on her also pristine white short skirt. She was basking in the greeting cheers of the crowd, overflowing with pride as she watched her Pokémon’s magnificent display of brilliance.

“Great work, now play Tennis with Sandshrew to wrap this up, Bulbasaur, and Sandshrew I want you to finish just like we practiced!”

The walking plant flicked the tip of its right vine and hurled the Sandshrew against the already scarred wall, creating a catalyst of energy to surge in the small ground type’s body as it was repelled back towards Bulbasaur. The extra energy stored from the impact with the wall allowed Sandshrew to expel it out of its dry hide as it burst from its circular shape, using all the force as an instrument to aid in gliding. It pricked its tail up on edge and began to rotate it in a clockwise motion to give it the little extra push towards Bulbasaur, until it had clasped one of the vines in both its upper and lower paw. Holding on tightly, she then spiralled down to sit nicely upon the contracting bulb of her cohort, and as instantly as that had occurred, so too did the erupting applauses breach the lips of the fans.

“That was another incredible debut here today folks with our seventeenth candidate, April!” the booming squeals resonated, blasting through the speakers that surrounded the entire Contest Hall, “Her Pokémon showed us the uniqueness of their own bodies and how it’s not all about those special attacks, what did our judges think of it though? Nurse Joy, would you like to start us off!”

Vivian’s hand gestured back over to the committee of judges, waving the spotlights back onto their beaming faces. The young nurse leant forward across the elongated table, allowing her curls to drape onto the metallic surface, and drawing in the attention of the entire crowd.

“This just goes to show you that a trainer always needs to know the capabilities of their own Pokémon, no matter what that may be…” Nurse Joy then paused, clutching the side of her face gently in her right palm whilst also regaining her posture and inhaling another take of breath, “And I do feel that the use of rare Pokémon in Hoenn was a great opportunity to grab everyone’s attention, such a superb attempt! I’ll be awarding them a 16.”

The crowd once again burst into grandiose ovation, applauding April for the great scoring she had just been awarded. Their attention then quickly flittered back over to Vivian, “And now let’s hear from Mr Contesta!”

The old man stayed seated, arms folded and a subtle smile etched into his face, “I felt that it was a definite glimmer of this young woman’s potential. Her Pokémon were synchronized and capable of coordinating their attacks in sequence yet with style… I’ll also be awarding a 16.”

“With a total so far of 32, let’s see how the scores will bear after we hear from Mr Sukizo!”

A tremendous applause flew into the stands yet again, raising the roof off the stadium with the sheer volume of noise that was being produced. Everyone was overexcited and ecstatic to be witnessing the marvellous routines that had been constant crowd pleasers, and even though they knew what words were about to befall their ears, they were still filled with utter enthusiasm.

“I’d just like to say remarkable, I shall give April an 18 for her remarkable efforts and remarkable elegance and remarkable Pokémon.”

“Well there we have it, a nice round and solid 50! A great start to her Contest career as well,” Vivian shrieked, waltzing over to April’s side and clasping her hand in a solid grip of congratulations. Still holding onto April’s hand, she turned towards the crowd, microphone pressed harshly against her lips, ready to blast them with more pep! “Let’s give it up for April as we welcome on our next Coordinator, Harriet Shelby making her second ever Contest appearance!”

The roars of ecstasy reached new pivotal levels; the men and women that had flocked into the seats in the stands were now levitated on their feet, fist punching the air and screaming adoration for April as she and her Pokémon performed one final bow before they fled out through the purple drapes pulled over the giant archway at the back of the hall. Max was also advancing his own hollers of enjoyment, rasping his hands together repeatedly as a sign of his best wishes for April, whilst also eagerly anticipating the arrival of Harriet and all she had to offer.

Meanwhile, amongst the deafening shrieks of delight blasting through the television set secured on the wall, Harriet quickly bolted from the comfy sofa that had barely seen anyone else lay rest on it at all during the first half hour of Contest Preliminaries. This time though, it was her time to allow others to marvel at what her Pokémon could accomplish and nothing was going to stand in her way.

She spent no time bursting through the double doors that cordoned off the backstage area from the main corridor. It had been designed to resemble some exquisite royal palace, or that was the excuse used for the overuse of swirls and ribbons and the vibrant attire of sky blue paint. The long passageway to the echoing applause was all that was left now; she always took it to be like an ascent to royalty, it made the most sense somehow considering the over lavished corridors with Contest memorabilia and photos of winning Coordinators in posh poses that littered the walls… and of course the double doors!

Whisking herself towards the entrance to the stadium hall, where the cameras were awaiting her entrance, another girl burst towards her, only visible to Harriet in a black silhouette because of the intense beams of light that radiated from the arena behind her. Instinctively this other girl stopped, placing a hand upon her hip and flicking another loose curl away from the corner of her eyes.

“Well, Harriet…” her soft tones entered the void of silence, “Who would’ve guessed that you’d have to follow me?” she chuckled, now resuming her movement and running towards Harriet, arms extended for an embrace, “Good luck out there, ok? Don’t mess this up! I plan on meeting you in the finals!”

Harriet only smiled in response, slightly taken aback by April’s extravert behaviour; she was slightly unsure of how best to answer her retorts.

“Well, I best not keep you… go get them girl friend!” April kindly spoke, winking with her right eye and signing a thumbs up before grabbing Harriet by the shoulders and pushing her towards the raging sounds of excitement. Surprisingly, the encouragement from April seemed to revitalise some of the lost sparks that had died away with the previous day’s news and Harriet was raring to go. This was now her moment to show Hoenn why her Pokémon were going to win!

As Vivian now introduced Harriet with a little more detail to the crowds, describing the mountainous village from which she originated, she stormed through the slight gap etched into the two velvety fabrics hanging across the archway. For some reason this time felt more nerve racking than her debut had actually been. The intensity of the cheers, the glancing eyes of the judges and the dawning light that fell upon her all added up to some subconscious poker that was jabbing her insides with forceful heat like never before. But… she wasn’t ready t give in, and she was here to prove her worth!

“Alright, Chikorita and Mothim, take to the floor!”

Her PokeBalls whizzed into the basking golden light that was illuminating the sparkling dust particles that were ascending into the heights of the stadiums top. Her PokeBalls hovered in the same light too, their purplish aura glimmering amongst the dust that were like small stars swirling around two powerful planets, ready to burst at any moment. With a noise resembling a cracking whip, the two spheres split along their joint, sending both parts as far away as feasibly possible from each other. From within the capsules erupted bouquets of roses tinted with a lingering sweet perfume that scattered across the floor staining it with the colours and fragrance of love. Soon after, they were followed by a white shimmering beam that jangled together to create the figures of Chikorita and Mothim, both whom were planted centrally upon one rather overgrown rose petal that gently unfolded to reveal the two stars of the stage ready to captivate the audience over their routine.

“What a magnificent entrance ladies and gentlemen! Already Harriet and her two Pokémon have us eagerly awaiting their spectacle, let’s see what they have to offer,” Vivian cried, her voice exploding through the enormous speakers that received the signal from her radio mic.

“You heard our cue guys, so let’s kick it up! Chikorita jump onto Mothim and then Mothim, fly into a central position and begin charging a low powered Hidden Power, whilst Chikorita, I want you to fire numerous amounts of Leach Seeds into the air surrounding you two, but be careful… we don’t want to impact him!”

Mothim began to energetically flap both of its wings, soaring into the heights of the stands in a tunnelling spiral while the edges of its body began to energize a spectacular, shimmering golden light. The small particles of this beautiful sight then merged together, forming a trail of fine and delicate light mimicking the similarities of very tender string. Whilst the crowd watched in awe at the splendour surrounding Mothim, attracted to his beauty, Chikorita stammered a barrage of small seeds from its own small necklace of green plantings to create a spherical radius around them.

“Now Chikorita, grip on tightly as we practiced, and Mothim release your Hidden Power, but only from your front!”

Instinctively, Chikorita curled the edges of its small paws around Mothim’s cylindrical, deep black spinal body. This was the moment where things could easily go wrong, and Chikorita knew that it’d most likely involve her if it were the case so the tighter she held on, the tighter their clench was around victory.

The minute Mothim felt the deeper grip on his body he utilised his wings as a utensil for spiralling that would allow the discharging Hidden Power to impact a greater area in a shorter space of time. As they both entered into the twists, their vision became blurred and heads became dizzy, incapable of really hearing anything over the intense pressure upon their bodies. These was the prompt Mothim was looking for and needed to then release the energy that had now encompassed his entire frontal body, leaving none of his original markings on display. In the blurry images that their eyes were frantically attempting to distinguish, a sudden blinding glow erupted into their surroundings, quickly engulfing every Leach Seed around them, all of which had begun to descend to the ground below.

For them, it was hard to see exactly what had occurred, although because of their practices they knew exactly what the outcome looked like… For the crowd, however, it was an entirely different story, even Max was left looking greatly shocked, captured by the magical explosion of life before them.

The small round seeds that had previously been so insignificant that they appeared harmless were now shooting stems of foliage from within their miniscule vessels. The occasional one connected with others in the sphere and intertwined and merged to create coils and twists, small works of art. On each of the elongated vines, the onset of spouting leaves and small buds began to appear in a huge variety of colour ranging across the rainbow spectrum. Some were a beautiful deep blue, others a shy and blushing violet. It was amazing!

“Look at that power… the nature… it’s… it’s just jaw dropping! Pokémon truly withhold immense natural beauty in them and this shows just how one with nature they are!” Vivian quivered, her face enriching a red as a few speckles of small rainbow petals dropped onto her brow.

Harriet’s eyes dazzled with joy and love that was enhance by a swirling pool of liquid skating across the white surface, shimmering the intricate emotions into the public’s own vision. She was overwhelmed by her Pokémon, amazed at what they could accomplish. She wished she could raise them higher on her pedestal of praise than they already were.

“Brilliant guys, absolutely superb work! And now it’s time to lavish the crowd in our floral creation! Chikorita, use Razor Leaf to split the Leach Seeds up, and Mothim create a gust of wind with your wings to blow it into the stands!”

The sharp edges of the leaves, that seemed set on a continuous mode as they were launched from the gigantic leaf planted on the tip of Chikorita’s head, sliced through the tangled vines with such ease, as if a knife was being driven through soft, fresh doughy bread. The falling, intact flower heads soon became caught in an updraft circulating the lower half of the stadium that pushed the luscious commodity into the seats, where the crowd greeted the delight with exuberant smiles. This was when Chikorita immediately stopped its Razor Leaf and leant over the edge of her partner to grab a pink flower within its teeth, ready for their final stunt. Mothim, on the other hand, continued to beat its wings against the air until every last petal had been sent, colour and all, into someone’s gracious lap as a sort of token of thanks for the ongoing applause and cheers. The two Pokémon then gently hovered to the ground where they perched on either side of their trainer, beaming with a huge and thankful smile. Chikorita then gently placed the flower that was still secured in her teeth upon Harriet’s head, delighting her even more. It was over.

“There we have it folks, and what a brilliant way to end that show of nature! I think we can all say we were showered with elegance today, and let’s see how Harriet’s points reflect that. Mr Contesta, if you will do the honours of starting us off…”

“That routine was obviously thought out in such depth and detail that I doubt any flaw could’ve occurred. Congratulations on behalf of the planning and also congratulations to Mothim and Chikorita as well, who elegantly and professionally delivered, what I think has to be called a stunning and flowery show of perfection. I look forward to your future appeals… now onto your scoring. I’m going to give you an 18!”

“A great way to start things off; now let’s see what Nurse Joy has to say!”

The fresh skinned lady sat for a moment, a big smile etched onto her face and an air of content surrounding her, “I feel that any comment I have to say won’t do your Pokémon justice…” she softly spoke, “All I will say is do come and share with me the way your brain comes up with these!”

The crowds, previously silenced in anticipation, burst into wondrous laughter that was oddly pleasing and soothing to Harriet’s nerves. Somehow, if a judge was capable of joking around it had to mean that she had done something right, and by the looks of relief on her Pokémon’s faces it seemed they felt exactly the same way.

As the volume of laughter decreased, all eyes fluttered back across to Nurse Joy who seemed to have words sealed in her lips, ready for the best moment to speak, “So for your ingenious ideas, I’ll also be awarding you an 18!”

“A solid 36 so far Harriet, well done, and by the sounds of those cries up there it seems like the crowd thoroughly agree with your high score… now lastly we’ll turn to Mr Sukizo for the final comments.”

“Remarkable, I think it was a brilliant display of remarkable attitude and perseverance… 17 from me!”

“There we have it, another high scorer with 53 points ladies and gentlemen… this could mean that selecting our final eight for the battle rounds won’t solely be on scores this time round, but only time will tell! Now give it up one last time for Harriet, Mothim and Chikorita, and welcome to the stage Ruth Taylor!”

Harriet enlarged the two PokeBalls, rid of the capsules now, in the palm of her right hand. She turned to her two Pokémon, a graceful smile speaking justice to the both of them who were also reflecting joyous smiles. Without any words, the red beams shot from the balls striking the Pokémon’s bodies and sucking them back into the warmth and comfy energy streams. They had accomplished their double performance without a hitch, and for that they deserved a peaceful rest before the results.

*****​

Silence. Pure, lonely silence. It lingered in the room, struck the depths of hearts and quivered the strongest lips. Everything was tense and nerve racking, out of place and uneven… and the silence only adhered to that. The faces of all Coordinators were solemn, inconstant – scared even. Everyone’s scores had been so close, many even matching others entirely, and this meant that the judges then had to sift through the many names and faces of those with equal scores to try and evaluate… gage who was the best, who had the best ability.

The lights of the main arena suddenly vanished, leaving only four spotlights open, shining upon the judges and Vivian. It was time. Now everyone would be put out of their misery, sweat ducts would dry up and colour would return to everyone’s faces. The final eight had been decided.

Vivian grasped a sheet of paper from the judge’s desk and slowly paced into the centre of the dusty stage. Her presence seemed commanding and justified and attracted the other three spotlights to whisk away from the metallic table and home in on her.

“Thank you for waiting so patiently, I have to apologise that this process took slightly longer than usual but it’s only because of the amazing performances each and every Coordinator has displayed here today. The final eight have been entered into the computer system and their faces will now appear behind me on the big screen… good luck everybody!”

Eight blank photo frames magically materialized in the pixels on the screen, illuminating the arena a little more from its own light. As this occurred the yellow streams originating from the four spotlights then dimmed and fizzled out and the main stadium lights began to faintly glow again. Suddenly, eight images flashed on screen and slotted neatly into the ruby and sapphire coloured frames, decorated with studded jewels. This was the moment… Who had made it?
 

chosen_one386

Angel of Chaos
Brilliant chapter! It was well worth the wait! As always, your contest appeals' description trump mine! XD Really enjoyed this chapter, and really glad to see an appearence by the HG/SS male protag (whose name in the games was Ethan)! He's going to appear in one of my far future fanfics, so I was happy to get to see him as a coordinator here! Remarkable job and I can't wait for the next chapter! :)
 

harryheart

Well-Known Member
Brilliant chapter! It was well worth the wait! As always, your contest appeals' description trump mine! XD Really enjoyed this chapter, and really glad to see an appearence by the HG/SS male protag (whose name in the games was Ethan)! He's going to appear in one of my far future fanfics, so I was happy to get to see him as a coordinator here! Remarkable job and I can't wait for the next chapter! :)

Thank you for the snappy and prompt review, as always is nice to hear from you guys. I'm glad Jimmy was a nice surprise, he was the same one back in Chapter 8 and he's going tbecome a lot more regular from this moment! Also thankyou for the response about the appeals, I'm glad they were 'appealing' and enjoyable. I love creating all the different possibilities! I hope the continuation with the storyline works in well with all the bits as well and I also hope the next chapter is prompt and a good follow up. Thanks for reviewing!
 

FlamingRuby

The magic of Pokemon
Very good choice to introduce Ethan as a main character--he needs a little bit of love.

Does (did, or will) Lyra make an appearance too?
 

harryheart

Well-Known Member
Very good choice to introduce Ethan as a main character--he needs a little bit of love.

Does (did, or will) Lyra make an appearance too?

Thanks also for that. I hope to make Jimmy (Ethan) a really good character and fleshed out, I've based this guy more on the Legend of Thunder Ethan than any of the games though but that personality may sneak in a little! I can't wait to develop him.

And she hasn't and there aren't any plans at the moment, mostly because I felt that what they did in Sinnoh with Lyra was very good and I wouldn't know how to create a diverse enough character to differentiate at the moment. So... we'll have to wait and see what time does with that one.
 

ESPNfanatic35

Catcher of Ubers
Hello harryheart! It's been forever since I've logged in and posted at seriebiiforums. I've had a busy summer and a lot going on with starting school. I read Chapters 26 and 27 and enjoyed both of them!

It was nice seeing Butch and Cassidy return in Chapter 26. The way you are able to write descriptions is absolutely great. You've come a very long way from when you wrote the first few chapters of this. I know from writing contest rounds for Dawn in my fic that creating and describing contest moves is incredibly tedious but you pulled it off very well in Chapter 27.

Nothing really to critique here. You're writing gets better with each chapter. There are a couple of spelling mistakes but they are few and far between and everyone makes those mistakes now and then.

But… she wasn’t ready t give in, and she was here to prove her worth!

A sentence shoudn't begin with a conjunction and the "o" is missing from the word "to". Just thought I'd point that out but that's all I really found. Wonderful writing!
 

harryheart

Well-Known Member
Hello harryheart! It's been forever since I've logged in and posted at seriebiiforums. I've had a busy summer and a lot going on with starting school. I read Chapters 26 and 27 and enjoyed both of them!

Hey there! It's nice to see you around again. And I know exactly what you mean about busy summers so don't worry a bit! We all need a break from things all the time! Thanks for coming back and reviewing though!

It was nice seeing Butch and Cassidy return in Chapter 26. The way you are able to write descriptions is absolutely great. You've come a very long way from when you wrote the first few chapters of this. I know from writing contest rounds for Dawn in my fic that creating and describing contest moves is incredibly tedious but you pulled it off very well in Chapter 27.

Thank you very much for that, I love the new Team Rocket that have sort of developed their personalities from how they are in the cartoon. I hope they can continue to develop and improve and become more like real human beings but obviously with their Rocket motives. THey'll have a lot of challenges ahead and I really hope that you all like it!

Nothing really to critique here. You're writing gets better with each chapter. There are a couple of spelling mistakes but they are few and far between and everyone makes those mistakes now and then.

Thank You! Yea my spelling does soemtime slip I'm afraid, although some things like colour are just the way we spell them in England.

A sentence shoudn't begin with a conjunction and the "o" is missing from the word "to". Just thought I'd point that out but that's all I really found. Wonderful writing!

Ah thanks for pointing out the to there... oops lol! And you're right about the conjunction as well, I don't know why I managed to let that slide...! Anyway thanks for your review again! I hope the next chapter can please just as much!
 
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