Okay so, firstly sorry as yet again i haven't got much time free at the moment so this wil have to be short.
While, squirtle's victory was rather expected i think that a squirtle loss against a little girl would have been quit odd. It was a nice battle - hmm nothing much to say about it really.
As for the second battle... WOW! it took me ages to read i must say but it was very good, there were a variety of tactics and moves used, which is nice, and i liked how you cut to ash and max at some points, too. Some issues i found were that uses Torrent again was a bit disappointing, i thought maybe it would be a rarity so that was a shame. Also, Empoleon didn't seem to need to recover from Hydro Canon, like the gyarados did with hyper beam. Oh, and it seems as if you're drifting more to telling than showing, as well. For example you said that Empoleon was being damaged in the whirlpool - but how do we know this? you should SHOW us he is being damaged by saying it is recoiling or something rather than TELLING. Now, i won't do the grammar because i don't have much time but will hopefully soon as there were quit a few errors.
No need for apoogize, I have little time as well
So, I understand you.
Yeah, Torrent again was a bit uncreative, but I wanted to show torrent-boosted attacks.
Barry's Empoleon doesn't recharge from Hydro Cannon in the series, so why would he recharge here?)
Anyway, thanks! Glad that you liked how I described the battle=)
The 37th chapter: The show goes on!
(The third round approaches, and all the main heroes are waiting for the third round tournament brackets.)
Announcer: “And there they are, our today’s tournament battles!” (As trainers look at the screen, announcer keeps talking) “16 Pokemon trainers will clash in 8 battles, and only the strongest will advance to the fourth round! And the first battle will be against Max and Marina!”
Max: “Me? Already?”
Barry: “Go, Max! We believe in you!”
Max: “Thanks!”
(Max goes downstairs.)
Max (saying to himself): “Who am I facing?” (Remembers)
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Perry: "Kingdra, I know you can do it...Stand up!"
Kingdra (shakes, but stands): "Do-o-o-o!"
Marina: "They won't beat us, Walrein!"
Walrein (yells): "Rein!"
Perry: "Let's use Dragon Pulse!"
Marina: "Use Ice Beam, Wallrein!"
(Kingdra shoots a light blue sphere at Wallrein. Wallrein releases an icy beam. The attacks collide, and seems to be equal. They make an explosion. After a smoke disappears, Wallrein is standing firm, but Kingdra is knocked out.)
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Max: “Oh, that lady…” (As he remembers a young lady with brown hair, who has a very confident look, and has white T-shirt and jeans on her.)
(Max goes on the battlefield and sees her.)
Marina: “Go, Walrein!”
Walrein (lets out a battle cry): “Walrein!”
Barry: “Walrein, the Ice Body Pokemon. Walrein's two massively developed tusks can totally shatter blocks of ice weighing ten tons with one blow. This Pokémon's thick coat of blubber insulates it from subzero temperatures.”
Dawn (looks at Barry’s Pokedex): “Yeah, it is a huge and powerful Pokemon, that’s for sure.”
Ash (with calm and jolly voice): “Max can handle that!”
Max: “Go, Marshtomp!”
Marshtomp (comes out and looks very seriously at Walrein)
Max: “Get ready.”
Marshtomp (nods): “Marsh.”
Marina (to Max): “You did a nice job with going to the third round with a Ground Pokemon. But I will try my best to stop you.” (Looks at Walrein) “Ice Beam!”
Walrein: “Rein!” (Fires a light blue beam)
Max: “Dodge it!”
Marshtomp: “Tomp!” (Dives in the water)
Max: “Get closer!”
Marina: “Stop it with your Ice Ball!”
Walrein: “Walrein!” (Fires an Ice Ball)
Max: “The first Ice Ball won’t do much. Use DynamicPunch!”
(Marshtomp breaks the Ice Ball with its glowing right arm, and punches Walrein in the head.)
Walrein: “Wall…” (Falls onto the platform)
Marina: “No, Walrein!”
Barry: “That looked like a critical hit to me!”
Ash: “Yeah! Nice job, Marshtomp!”
Marina: “Stand up Walrein!”
Walrein: “Walrein…” (Stands up)
Marina: “Ice Beam!”
Max: “Mud Shot!”
(The Pokemon fire their attacks, and their powers are equal. In the last moment Ice Beam overpowers Mud Shot, and Ice Beam hits Marshtomp.)
Max (surprised): “Ah…”
Marina: “Use Body Slam!”
Walrein (jumps high): “Wal!”
Marshtomp: “Marshtomp…” (Stands up)
Max (becomes nervous): “Stop it with Water Gun…No, with Mud Shot, no…”
Marshtomp (breathes in air to fire a Water Gun): “Marsh…” (Hears that Max switched his command to Mud Shot) “Tomp!” (Releases brown water from its’ mouth)
Max: “What?”
(Marshtomp’s attack hits Walrein. Walrein absorbs the hit, but misses the Body Slam)
Max: “Use Tackle!”
Marshtomp: “Marsh!” (Slams Walrein, who has just landed on the platform.)
(Walrein is sent back on several meters. It breathes harshly, then falls again.)
Walrein (with spiral eyes): “Walrein…”
Max (happily): “We did it!”
Marshtomp (smiles): “Marsh!”
Ash: “Wow! This new attack really changed the pace of the battle!”
Dawn: “Yeah, but what was the attack it used?” (Takes Pokedex.)
Pokedex: “Muddy Water. The Pokemon attacks by shooting out muddy water that can lower the foe's accuracy.”
Dawn: “That was the reason Walrein missed its’ Body Slam…”
Barry: “Max battled great!” (Mas comes to them) ”Here he is! Nice battle, Max!”
Max: “Thanks! But I really was surprised when Marshtomp used Muddy Water.”
Ash: “Your Marshtomp is pretty strong, so it is not surprising.”
Max: “Yeah, maybe.” (Smiles)
Barry: “By the way, who battles next?”
Announcer: “The second battle is between Erica and Kevin.”
Barry: “Ah, not me…”
(After some time.)
Barry: “Finally!”
Announcer: “The fifth match will be between Reddy and Barry!”
Dawn: “Good luck, Barry!”
Barry: “Thanks!”
(Barry goes to his side of the battlefield. He sees a trainer in a red pullover, red cap with white stripes, and blue jeans)
Barry: “Go, Empoleon!”
Empoleon: “Empole!”
Reddy: “Blastoise, I choose you!”
Blastoise (comes out): “Blast!”
Ash: “Wow! He has a Blastoise!”
Reddy (grins): “Use Focus Blast!”
Blastoise: “Blast!” (Puts its hands together in front of it and creates a light blue ball of energy)
Barry: “Hydro Cannon!”
(Empoleon opens its' beak and fires a blue ball of water at Blastoise. Two attacks collide and explode.)
Barry: “Drill Peck!”
(Empoleon’s beak and crown glow white. It jumps and starts spinning.)
Reddy: “Focus Blast!”
Empoleon: “Empole!” (Dodges Focus Blast) “On!” (Strikes Blastoise)
Blastoise: “Blast!“
Reddy: “Hydro Pump!”
Blastoise: “Blastoise!” (Fires two streams of water at Empoleon and hits it)
(Empoleon is pushed back. Both Pokemon start to get warned out.)
Barry: “Use Hyper Beam!”
Empoleon (nods): “Empole.”
Reddy: “Hydro Pump!”
Blastoise (aims cannons at Empoleon): “Blastoise!”
The end of the 37th Chapter.
