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I have now been converted to Ianism!
This story is the single cutest thing I have ever read. The sheer little-kid-ness of it astounds me. There are so many quotable things that I can't begin to quote it all after reading in silence for so long. Ian is great, Diana is great, Todd is great, everyone's great. But the serious undertones are set, and as "I" grow up, who knows where the story will go? Clones, eh? Interesting.
*pulls up folding chair* I'll be here for it all!
And uhhh...""No it's nooa...." Your thoughts skid to a very abrupt halt. You look up at the flyign object in the sky, its six tendrils keeping it afloat on Campus's Rocky Waters. But you can see it, the grand octopus in the clowd as it waves to ground-bound classic lines." Wow. xD
I feel like the slogan on your banner for this is familiar... well, it's from Rush's song "Circumstances" - it's probably a far cry, but did you lift that from it? Not that it'll affect your overall score. I figure it's just a coincidence, but I couldn't help but note it. The earlier repetition of "Circumstances" also made me think this.
I have to say that this story is one of the few things I've found on here what I can really call recommended reading. It's that good, really. It's oddly innocent and very well-narrated, which is nice to see when all the other works are either droning or explicit - sometimes both. It's nice to see that there's some originality here - as much as you can squeeze out of Pokemon on a Pokemon forum. Please continue. Thank you very much for bringing something decent to the fan fic forum.
I assure you, they were ecstatic at the thought. XD Thanks for pointing out those typos as well, nothing like a good day of typo killing to end the weekend. I know I owe you like.. 13 reviews, amongst other things. I promise I'll get a review to you soon - will probably cover three chapters, but you're okay with that, right? XD... Oh good heavens, can't wait.. until school..is over.
So I take it that this story takes place before Mewtwo, huh? And I think I might have read over it, but is Matt Todd's brother, boss, assistant or what? Just wondering.
This doesn't go quite into animé canon. But lets just say.. if you were to consider the timeline, Mewtwo himself isn't far away from being 'created'. Though for some reason, I prefer the game version of the Mew giving birth to Mewtwo.
Ooh. I sense some forshadowing here.
Maybe Shawn has to give up Ian in the next chapter or so?
XDXDXD... Haha. Not exactly, but yes, it's foreshadowing. To what - you'll probably wonder that for awhile.
Once again, good as alaways. I love how Stella seems to have a close bond with Todd and vise-versa. I see that Todd got quite a bit of character development while he was talking about cloning, especially when he was discussing Matt's speech and how he highly disagreed on it.
Nice chapter. A bit heavy on dialogue, but that's the price for good charachter/plot development. We're finally getting more insight into what the foopy it is that Todd is doing, and the subject of cloning interests me greatly. Who knows, maybe Ian is a clone or something and will meet his true self. Or even better, maybe Ian is a superclone who has the power to scream which will amplify when he evolves to the point where he can destroy entire cities with one giant scream.
....I probably just ruined the entire plot
Anywaysss....I really really loved that last part of the chapter. It just captured the spirit of this fic to date, the gentle innocence of children and the beauty of those ages. I was actually getting kind of bored with the park, but I guess it's because I'm an ignorant teenager. I particularly liked Stella's final line because that's just so childish right there
Ahh, well I don't hate you. And thanks for beta-reading. And quite obviously, things have gotten better?
>: The part with the clones kind of bored me at 4 am. I almost fell asleep. And, well, the marshmellow reminded me of a story that you would have no interest of reading.
Sorry for the bad review, but I have to go make a thread saying that I'm going to go kill myself.
Thanks for your reviews. I always enjoy the heck out reading them. And I believe I owe you oen sometime in the near future. *slams head with mathbook. I'm barely keeping afloat on Campus' Rocky Waters, I can tell you.
I know I should have rated this earlier, but school work.......no, scratch that, procrastination. Yeah, I procrastinated. Without further ado, I'll just get on to what I have to say shall I?
I do that, too. XD School work + procrastination leads to things taking a long time getting done. XD I sympathize on teh school work part wholeheartedly.
Caterpie never grew on me, considering the fact I never did like bug pokemon, but the part where Ian spelt out happy birthday was just cute: I had to smile. You've got quite a talent for wit you know, and the whole thing was just witty. Loved it, can't go for anything less. I know it's probably a crappy review, but yeah, this is how I thought about it so far. It would be interesting to see how Ian turns out when he evolves into a Metapod. Can Metapods scream inside a shell btw? I'd say he's probably more concerned with Capri-Suns at the moment.
... What sort of geer did you have when you made that, woman? otopus clowd on Campus's Rocky Waters... For the first time in my life, I know true incoherence. XD
Lol. Yes. Though only the end part with the "Clowd" is really incoherent. XD I also have a draft of a couple scenes that were changed from how they were originally written.
This chapter is gravitating slightly to the more mature parts of the story, where Shawn actually begins to reach adulthood. The clones, in particular, sound very interesting... perhaps he'll grow up to be a protester aganst cloning, when cloning industries go rampant on a large scale.
... I can't really speculate when he's barely 8, now, can I? (Is he 8? I don't remember...)
Interesting speculation. Whether you're right or not.. you'll have to wait for awhile... from teh way I'm writing. ^^ But the future will be gone into. ^^ As teh story ends when Shawn's about (Planned anyway) 23-24.
XD As have quite a few people apparently. XD Never *once* did I expect that. He has a cult now. The little worm is probably secretly proud.
The sheer little-kid-ness of it astounds me. There are so many quotable things that I can't begin to quote it all after reading in silence for so long.
LOL. So, you're one of those extremely elusive closet-readers eh? Good to know. ^^ Yeah, the little kid-ness has been some of my favorite parts to write. Even with new chapters coming and characters getting older, there will still be a few of 'these' moments, and I hope that the future chapters will still be as entertaining and enjoyable as well.
Ian is great, Diana is great, Todd is great, everyone's great. But the serious undertones are set, and as "I" grow up, who knows where the story will go? Clones, eh? Interesting.
*pulls up folding chair* I'll be here for it all!
MHm. The story will have plenty of serious undertones, but I hope I can still manage to keep quite a bit of it lighthearted.
And uhhh...""No it's nooa...." Your thoughts skid to a very abrupt halt. You look up at the flyign object in the sky, its six tendrils keeping it afloat on Campus's Rocky Waters. But you can see it, the grand octopus in the clowd as it waves to ground-bound classic lines." Wow. xD
I feel like the slogan on your banner for this is familiar... well, it's from Rush's song "Circumstances" - it's probably a far cry, but did you lift that from it? Not that it'll affect your overall score. I figure it's just a coincidence, but I couldn't help but note it. The earlier repetition of "Circumstances" also made me think this.
My slogan? It has nothing to do with the lyrics to Rush's "Circumstances". The connection is purely coincidence. I have never heard of the band before really until you mentioned it. I don't listen to rock that much, I prefer instrumental. The Slogan just came to me randomly. It's just one of those "proverbs" that you always hear, but uet nobody knows who said it, or even where it originated from. Though after reading the lyrics to "Circumstances" (Love the lyrics to many of their songs, BTW. Thanks for inadvertently introducing me to the group. Very boss lyrics.) I assume it originated from some sort of famous French quotation.
I have to say that this story is one of the few things I've found on here what I can really call recommended reading. It's that good, really. It's oddly innocent and very well-narrated, which is nice to see when all the other works are either droning or explicit - sometimes both. It's nice to see that there's some originality here - as much as you can squeeze out of Pokemon on a Pokemon forum. Please continue. Thank you very much for bringing something decent to the fan fic forum.
Haha. Thank you for the compliment. ^^ Yeah, I'm trying to squeeze as much originality out of it as I can. My idea for starting this story was just to portray the every day life of people - and prove, perhaps, that things don't have to be necessarily 'epic' to have a good story, or to make things enjoyable. I believe what this would be called -- if you take into account the animé term for things like this -- would be "Slice of Life". And I'm quite fond of that definition. Thank you very much for your review.
0.o It would be really weird to see a Caterpie headstanding on a person's head!
"Wow! It is an octopus Cloud."
"otopus crowd! octopus cloud," she chants.
"No it's nooa...." Your thoughts skid to a very abrupt halt. You look up at the flyign object in the sky, its six tendrils keeping it afloat on Campus's Rocky Waters. But you can see it, the grand octopus in the clowd as it waves to ground-bound classic lines.
Tempus Fugit:
My slogan? It has nothing to do with the lyrics to Rush's "Circumstances". The connection is purely coincidence. I have never heard of the band before really until you mentioned it. I don't listen to rock that much, I prefer instrumental. The Slogan just came to me randomly. It's just one of those "proverbs" that you always hear, but uet nobody knows who said it, or even where it originated from. Though after reading the lyrics to "Circumstances" (Love the lyrics to many of their songs, BTW. Thanks for inadvertently introducing me to the group. Very boss lyrics.) I assume it originated from some sort of famous French quotation.
No problem. Just... spreading it, you know. Well, okay, that part was an accident. I figured that it was a coincidence, but I had to ask. Heck, looking back, a lot of the titles seem to evoke that weird mystical/'70s prog-rock imagery. Heh... It happens.
Haha. Thank you for the compliment. ^^ Yeah, I'm trying to squeeze as much originality out of it as I can. My idea for starting this story was just to portray the every day life of people - and prove, perhaps, that things don't have to be necessarily 'epic' to have a good story, or to make things enjoyable. I believe what this would be called -- if you take into account the animé term for things like this -- would be "Slice of Life". And I'm quite fond of that definition. Thank you very much for your review.
You're welcome for the review. Again, it's good to see something like this in a place like this, where, up until your fic, I was starting to run out of hope for something that wasn't just the same fic posted the day before with a few words changed and a slightly different cast.
Of course, clones are always interesting. However, they have to be executed properly, and I must say I do approve of your work with that here...
No problem. Just... spreading it, you know. Well, okay, that part was an accident. I figured that it was a coincidence, but I had to ask. Heck, looking back, a lot of the titles seem to evoke that weird mystical/'70s prog-rock imagery. Heh... It happens.
You're welcome for the review. Again, it's good to see something like this in a place like this, where, up until your fic, I was starting to run out of hope for something that wasn't just the same fic posted the day before with a few words changed and a slightly different cast.
Of course, clones are always interesting. However, they have to be executed properly, and I must say I do approve of your work with that here...
Clones are indeed a very iffy subject. Interesting, yes.. but a very awkward plot device to handle. Hopefully, I'll be able to handle it right. ^^" We'll see. As for Rush, I've started listening to a bit more of it, and I quite like the band, though I'm especially fond of the lyrics. I'm not much into old Rock music like this, but quite a few of Rush's songs are quite memorable.
