• Be sure to join the discussion on our discord at: Discord.gg/serebii
  • If you're still waiting for the e-mail, be sure to check your junk/spam e-mail folders

MPH (Metroid Prime Hunters) the virus planet.

Mr. Bikini fan

I love Dratini's :D
This story goes like this.

Chapter 1 Mission breifing
It's the year 3014 in the trooper module proceeder, our hero has returned and also get's ready to practice, and her name is Samus Aran! The sirens were wailing fast so then she bowed to the screen at the middle platform the computer responded to her "Good morning Samus, today's important mission is very addictive and also very immobilizing, the 5 hunters named, Sylux, Spire, Trace, Kanden & Noxus are infected by Dark Samus infection weapon called the infection beam, it take control to evil hunters like Dark Samus" Samus interuppted "Wait so your telling me that these thing were infected and destroying our planet?" Then the computer responded "Correct Samus, prepare yourself and take this to add to your power beam" She replied "What is this?" The computer responded "It's the disruption clip, this clip can be only shot if you surround these 5 hunters i told you and also destroy Dark Samus's infection gadget, you'll be heading to the Desert cliffs that were you will meet trace, DATA trace, discription identifeid as a powerful hunter and this hunter has been for 500 years and he has souurce of protecting old life in 1 country, he needed peace, he couldn't if Samus Aran teams up with him, WEAPON DATA lasers, eye laser and turbo snatch good hunting Samus Aran" She said, farewell! She turns into a morphball to her destonation to find and cure trace before it's too late.

Next chaper will come tomorrow!
 

Poison Master

A Local Person
Look, this is a great idea and it seems you have some good ideas too, but for god's sake, DEVELOP THEM. This is a paragraph at most, little to no description, who is samus? what does she loook like? what is the morthball? these are all questions that need to be answered in your fic, as soon as characters are introduced, develop them, give them looks etc.

This isn't even worth rating, if you manage to change things around and produce something that is around 1-2 pages, re-submit it and I'll gladly rate it.
 

Mr. Bikini fan

I love Dratini's :D
You know to be honest PM i don't even know wth are you talking about so why don't you show the site in this thread instead so quit mucking around this fic!!!
 
M

macBad0

Guest
Poison master c'mon man. I had the same problem with my fic as well.
 
Top