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My 1st Card (Umbreon EX Sparkle)

R

RiverStone

A Trainer of Shadows
G

Gliese

Banned
RiverStone said:
My ist card ever... The picture of Umbreon is a bit small though...

http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j199/RiverdaleRegion/UmbreonEXShiny.png

(Constructive critisism welcome)
(please just dont say you like it or not... say why...)
Click to expand...

Its a really good one for you first time but its a bad one in quality.


1:picture to small(but u relized that)
2:If its shiny in the card it doesnt say spackle.It has a star
3:The Attacks are not supposed to be underlined
4:There is a white outline around umbreon
 
R

RiverStone

A Trainer of Shadows
Oh... Well the card pack was EX Sparkle, should have said that... Ok, thanks... i'll try to fix it..

EDIT: I can't find any Shiny Umbreon sigumori (sp) art like the one on the card, if anyone could help me... just post)
 
Last edited:
G

Gliese

Banned
Also when you read under its poke body its w for when is capitilized.

But its a really great first card
 
S

SUPER BLASTOISE

Well-Known Member
i do not like it. BUT if it ur 1st then good job
 
G

greatchikorita

~It's Raining here!~
Ok. Let me review the card.

First of: No Illustrator. Ken Sugimori is the one who drew the art. Second, art is small. Try to resize it into 250-325 pixels for its width. Third, HP's color is down, it should be color white, Fourth, Placements are wrong, read the tuts plz, Fifth, :), atk name shouldn't be underlined, lastly, you missed the -30 text near the resistance.

Overall = 7/10

And....

Grammar correction:

Syncronize:

If Umbreon EX Sparkle is Poisoned, Burned, or Paralyzed, the Defending Pokemon is affected by the same Special Condition affecting Umbreon EX Sparkle.

(I think that's the appropriate.)

Shadow Wave:

Flip a coin. If Heads, remove damage counters halve the remaining HP of the Defending Pokemon to Umbreon EX Sparkle. If Tails, remove damage counters halve the remaining HP of Umbreon EX Sparkle to the defending Pokemon.

Psyboom:

Discard all energy cards from your opponents hand and Pokemon into the Discard Pile.

I think that they are the most appropriate Grammar for the effects of the cards. But I think Psyboom is a bit overpowered. :)
 
C

Cipher 2008

Well-Known Member
For a first card, good. You've picked faking up quickly.

A few problems:
1. The HP should be in white.
2. Name should be 'Umbreon ex'.
3. Shadow Wave seems too powerful, I'd take one Darkness Energy off the cost.


GC: Don't think me rude, but I'd use this correction.

Synchronise
If Umbreon ex Sparkle is affected by any Special Conditions, the Defending Pokémon is affected by the same Special Conditions.

Shadow Wave
Flip a coin. If heads, remove damage counters from Umbreon ex Sparkle equal to half the damage done to the Defending Pokémon (rounded up) (after applying Weakness and Resistance). If tails, remove damage counters equal to half the remaining HP of Umbreon ex Sparkle from the Defending Pokémon.

Psyboom
Discard all cards from your opponent's hand, and all Energy cards attached to the Defending Pokémon (before they would affect the attack).

Reason why I've changed Psyboom so much? You can't be certain your opponent has discarded all Energy cards from their hand without checking it. Also, the (before they would affect the attack) is new text that Nintendo is starting to put on some of their cards. It refers to cards such as Metal Energy, which would reduce the damage done by 10HP per card. Also, discarding every one of your opponent's Energy cards in play is a bit much.

All that aside, for the first card, as I said, it's good. 6/10.
 
G

greatchikorita

~It's Raining here!~
Double Dash said:
GC: Don't think me rude, but I'd use this correction.

Synchronise
If Umbreon ex Sparkle is affected by any Special Conditions, the Defending Pokémon is affected by the same Special Conditions.

Shadow Wave
Flip a coin. If heads, remove damage counters from Umbreon ex Sparkle equal to half the damage done to the Defending Pokémon (rounded up) (after applying Weakness and Resistance). If tails, remove damage counters equal to half the remaining HP of Umbreon ex Sparkle from the Defending Pokémon.

Psyboom
Discard all cards from your opponent's hand, and all Energy cards attached to the Defending Pokémon (before they would affect the attack).

Reason why I've changed Psyboom so much? You can't be certain your opponent has discarded all Energy cards from their hand without checking it. Also, the (before they would affect the attack) is new text that Nintendo is starting to put on some of their cards. It refers to cards such as Metal Energy, which would reduce the damage done by 10HP per card. Also, discarding every one of your opponent's Energy cards in play is a bit much.
Click to expand...

That's a very nice correction. I would suggest this one the best effects. As for mine. I just corrected the grammar of the cards. (not suggested a diff. effect.) So I would go for this.
 
R

RiverStone

A Trainer of Shadows
Ahh, im no good at drawing but i'll see what i can do. Thanks for all the help yall, i'm probably going to redo it, so come back and take a look later... An i dont know how to get rid of that white outline, if you scan the drawing. And, how would you color it on MS Paint? On mine, it just does like one pixle at a time
 
King Shuckle

King Shuckle

Don't be daft
To get rid of the white outline, select the layer Umbreon is on and use the eraser tool carefully (if the program your using has one >.>)

All the mistakes have been pointed out. The link in my sig has everything you need for making Fake Cards.

7/10.
 
E

Emeralda

plays with spoons
I don't like it.

Am I the only one here who thinks Psyboom is overpowered? Discard ALL energy? That's a bit unfair. Maybe Discard all energy, but do no damage.

Just my opinion.
 
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