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My Fanfic (finally done editing)

bluwirz

An Ode to the Fallen
Dungeon of Control [PG-13]

Info on fic:
# of Chapters: 11
Rating: PG-13
Point-of-View: First-Person
Main Character: Raik (a Raichu)

Fanfic Progress
Prologue: Awoke in the Dark--(Complete-100%)
Chapter 1: The Dungeon--(Complete-100%)
Chapter 2: Blackout Tests--(Complete-100%)
Chapter 3: Insane--(Complete-100%)
Chapter 4: The Vent--(Complete-100%)
Chapter 5: The Facility--(Complete-100%)
Chapter 6: Database--(Complete-100%)
Chapter 7: Crimson Rain--(Complete-100%)
Chapter 8: Falling Bullets--(Complete-100%)
Chapter 9: Sanctuary--(Complete-100%)
Chapter 10 (Epilogue): Reflection--(Complete-100%)

Author's Note:
I love AN's because I get to explain things that might be confusing in the story or just to tell the reader something. The main character, Raik the Raichu, is named after the Raichu on my Pokemon game. Just thought that might be slightly interesting...... Anyway, this is my first fanfic, modified from the original. Give me some good reviews and also give me tips on what I can do to improve it, because I want to continue and finish this fic. I will submit this in portions, chapter by chapter, so that im not overloaded. Hope you like it! :D

-bluwirz ^_^

******

Prologue: Awoke in the Dark

...where am I?.... I slowly started to wake up. The ground I was laying on was cold and hard, and felt like stone. I opened my eyes and was staring a gray concrete ground in the face. It looked worn and it had rust stains in certain spots on the ground. I stood up and checked where I was. Well.....this is a change of scenery.... I was in a.......prison cell? Why am I in a cell? The cell had 3 walls made of old, cracked, rusty large gray bricks, and then where a 4th wall should have been, there was an opening, covered by iron bars. There was no way I could squeeze through them. I looked around the cell. The only things in the cell were a small window with more iron bars that produced no light at all, a mirror, and and a chain on the wall. I followed the chain and it ended.....at my neck! I was chained to the cell! What the hell!? I'm chained! I tried to yank on them, but these looked brand new, and weren't rusty like everything else in the cell. The only thing left to do was check the mirror. The mirror was grimy and looked pretty old, but I could still see my reflection. I looked like a mess. I wasn't injured, but I was dirty, and covered in dirt and dust. I looked fine. The messy fur was normal. I never had clean fur. To me, appearences meant nothing. The only real things different about my body were a small headache (which I just tried to ignore), and an imprint on tail. That was what confused me the most about his whole thing. There were numbers and letters on my tail which looked like they were burned with hot metal, like when you brand a cow. What it said just confused me more. It simply said: MCTS14. What does this mean? I thought, confused. The headache started to get worse, but I ignored it. Probably from sleeping on that hard concrete for who knows how long.

I tried to remember what had happened, and how I got here. Then slowly started to remember. I was wandering throught the forest when I got lost. Then I I felt something prick me in the back of my neck. I reached back and felt it. It was small, hard, and felt like glass. I pulled it out and brought it up to my face to get a better look. I was shocked when I discovered it was a dart. After that, I blacked out. Then I remembered stuff from when I had woken up during the black out. I hadn't been awake for long, but I had woken up a few times, long enough to remember things that were happening. All I can remember is something with needles, knives, and something about "operate" and "chips." Great! I had woken up just in time for snack time and a game of Operation! Thinking about chips made me hungry. There wasn't any food in the cell, so I just sat there, my hunger growing.

I looked out the barred gate that prevented me from getting out. I got a good look at where I was. It was probably the most uninviting place I had ever had to be in. It was dark and very musky and smelled funny. All the walls and floors were made of the same worn stone that was in my cell. In the distance, I saw other cells. Some of them were empty, but a few had Pokemon in them. They looked very tired, and in pain, as though someone had beaten them. That thought, along with the enviroment of the room, made me very worried about what was going to happen to me. I looked over to one wall and saw a rack of....weapons such as whips, and sticks. That made me fall to the floor in shock. I sort of huddled into a corner and stood there. Now I know that something bad is gonna happen to me! I thought, very scared. What else would torture weapons be used for besides torturing? Definitly not cleaning. Also, it matched together: beaten Pokemon in cells, rack of weapons, and dark musky room in the middle of nowhere. I was in a torture chamber! I slid down to the ground, still stunned. Beads of sweat were now rolling down my body. It was a cold sweat. The sweat you experience when your scared. Great! I'm in a torture chamber! Why did I have to get brought here!? Why a torture chamber of all places!? With that horrific discovery, I sat down and tried to sleep, the headache now receading.

******

........come on..........good reviews, good reviews........ :D
 
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Xtra

You will be missed:(
You should have described the main character better. I know it's a pokemon 9since it has fur and a tail), but we don't know what species.

Other than that, it looks good. Short, but good.
 

bluwirz

An Ode to the Fallen
I did tell what species he. Look at the top and the author's note.
Yes it is short. Its only a prologue, so it wont be too long. My other chapters will be longer though. :D


....aww.....someone voted one star....ah well! ^_^
 
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bluwirz

An Ode to the Fallen
Just tryin to keep this bumped so I can get some more reviews. :D
 

Psychic

Really and truly
*pokes* Bumping bad. Bumping against rules. Do not bump. For it is bad and against the rules. And a cheap, silly way to stay on the first way and get reviews. This is what we call SPAM. SPAM is bad. SPAM is against rules...

Hopefully, you get the picture.



Anyways, this was...okay. But it could still have been better, and you still could have spent a bit more time on it.

One big problem is that this Prologue shouldn't be just three large paragraphs. I know there isn't any speech for you to use to start new paragraphs, but I think you could have started a new one whenever your main character had a thought. By the way, just putting something in italics won't tell the reader immediately that it's a thought- instead, put 'I thought' at the end, and add adjectives too, like 'I thought angrily, shutting my eyes and tensing every muscle in my body'. And just in general, whenever you start talking about something new, begin a new paragraph.


Another thing you really need to know is we shouldn’t need to read the author’s notes to understand what is going on in a story. I do not want you to tell me right off the bat that your character is a this and his name is that. In fact, I didn’t even read your Author’s Note. In Harry Potter, did Rowling have a note at the very beginning saying “oh, and before you begin, you should know that Harry has black hair, he wears glasses, he has a scar on his face and he lives with his uncle, aunt and cousin who are all very mean to him”? No, because she showed us this through the story instead. You could easily have described…Rake, is it? Yes, you could have easily described Rake when he was looking in the mirror, or examining his tail. Buuuuut you took the cheap way out and instead said “Rake is a Pikachu” at the beginning. Congratulations, you have already lost part of my respect. :/

Anyways, the description during the entire Prologue was decent, but nothing really special. It was more like you were just listing detail after detail, though, and let’s face it- nobody likes to read lists.

Another thing, is I think you really could have described the process in which Rake got kidnapped. I mean, instead of him just saying ‘and this happened, then I saw this, and I did that’, make it into an actual scene all on its own. heck, you could even have made the entire Prologue being Rake being all happy bouncy in the woods, then suddenly he gets attacked, he runs, falls unconscious, and then END PROLOGUE. Leaves the reader with a hearty cliff-hanger that, if done right, will make them want to read on so as to find out what happened. Depending on if you want to or not, you can even have a quick half-scene at the end of the Prologue where Rake is drifting in and out of consciousness, half awake and half drugged. :p or you could have started Chapter 1 with the drugged scene.

Oh, and one last thing about description- this lacked a bit of atmosphere and mood. Rake’s surroundings should impact his mood and the way he thinks and feels, but it felt as if he were acting as if he were just stuck inside a tree trunk or something, no big deal. Clearly, there are other Pokémon around him that are beat-up and are in a great deal of pain, scared for their lives. You easily could have described a poor Houndour Rake sees in another cell, with a long gash down its side and maybe missing a leg or something, depending on how cruel the torturers are.



Now, grammar was not very impressive either. The fact that you failed to use Microsoft Word or a similar program makes Psychic loose even more respect for you. :/ Seriously, the program helps, and would have helped you find and fix these mistakes (which my own word processor picked up):


The only things in the cell were a small window with more iron bars that produced no light at all, a mirror, and and a chain on the wall.
Only one and.


To me, appearences meant nothing.
‘Appearances’.


I was wandering throught the forest when I got lost.
It’s spelled throughout, but in this case the word is just ‘through’.


Then I I felt something
Only one I.


That thought, along with the enviroment of the room, made me very worried about what was going to happen to me.
‘Environment’.


Definitly not cleaning.
‘Definitely’.


With that horrific discovery, I sat down and tried to sleep, the headache now receading.
‘Receding’.




Really, just work on it. I mean, it looks interesting so far, and it has potential. You just need to put a bit more time and effort into it, and save it on a Word Program, as I could have sworn we told you in your thread in the Café. Have a look at the Stickies, read the fics of writers like Dragonfree, Kiyohime, Chibi Pika, Burnt Flower and so on. See what/how other people write to get a feel for fanfiction, and most importantly, listen to what your reviewers tell you.

I'd give this three stars for now, but I don't want to judge just yet. I'll...wait. :3


Good luck,
~Psychic
 

bluwirz

An Ode to the Fallen
Yes, I see. Well, thanks for the help. I now know what to do when making the first chapter (which I am currently working on right now as I speak).
Yes, I had typos......I do that sometimes. I try to catch myself when I do them, but I see that I only got half of them.
You wrote this review just in time because now I can fix anything that I did wrong in Chapter 1. Thank you! :D

heck, you could even have made the entire Prologue being Rake being all happy bouncy in the woods
Yeah.....happy and bouncy......lol thats pretty funny, though hes not that kind of character..... ^_^
And its Raik not Rake.......I dont name characters after garden tools! LMAO!! XD

P.S. Sorry for bumping. Didnt know.....
 
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Info on fic:
# of Chapters: Unknown for now
Rating: PG-13
Point-of-View: First-Person
Main Character: Raik (a Raichu)

Author's Note:
I love AN's because I get to explain things that might be confusing in the story or just to tell the reader something. The main character, Raik the Raichu, is named after the Raichu on my Pokemon game. Just thought that might be slightly interesting...... Anyway, this is my first fanfic, modified from the original. Give me some good reviews and also give me tips on what I can do to improve it, because I want to continue and finish this fic. I will submit this in portions, chapter by chapter, so that im not overloaded. Hope you like it! :D

-bluwirz ^_^

******

Prologue: Awoke in the Dark

...where am I?.... I slowly started to wake up. The ground I was laying on was cold and hard, and felt like stone. I opened my eyes and was staring a gray concrete ground in the face. It looked worn and it had rust stains in certain spots on the ground. I stood up and checked where I was. Well.....this is a change of scenery.... I was in a.......prison cell? Why am I in a cell? The cell had 3 walls made of old, cracked, rusty large gray bricks, and then where a 4th wall should have been, there was an opening, covered by iron bars. There was no way I could squeeze through them. I looked around the cell. The only things in the cell were a small window with more iron bars that produced no light at all, a mirror, and and a chain on the wall. I followed the chain and it ended.....at my neck! I was chained to the cell! What the hell!? I'm chained! I tried to yank on them, but these looked brand new, and weren't rusty like everything else in the cell. The only thing left to do was check the mirror. The mirror was grimy and looked pretty old, but I could still see my reflection. I looked like a mess. I wasn't injured, but I was dirty, and covered in dirt and dust. I looked fine. The messy fur was normal. I never had clean fur. To me, appearences meant nothing. The only real things different about my body were a small headache (which I just tried to ignore), and an imprint on tail. That was what confused me the most about his whole thing. There were numbers and letters on my tail which looked like they were burned with hot metal, like when you brand a cow. What it said just confused me more. It simply said: MCTS14. What does this mean? I thought, confused. The headache started to get worse, but I ignored it. Probably from sleeping on that hard concrete for who knows how long.

I tried to remember what had happened, and how I got here. Then slowly started to remember. I was wandering throught the forest when I got lost. Then I I felt something prick me in the back of my neck. I reached back and felt it. It was small, hard, and felt like glass. I pulled it out and brought it up to my face to get a better look. I was shocked when I discovered it was a dart. After that, I blacked out. Then I remembered stuff from when I had woken up during the black out. I hadn't been awake for long, but I had woken up a few times, long enough to remember things that were happening. All I can remember is something with needles, knives, and something about "operate" and "chips." Great! I had woken up just in time for snack time and a game of Operation! Thinking about chips made me hungry. There wasn't any food in the cell, so I just sat there, my hunger growing.

I looked out the barred gate that prevented me from getting out. I got a good look at where I was. It was probably the most uninviting place I had ever had to be in. It was dark and very musky and smelled funny. All the walls and floors were made of the same worn stone that was in my cell. In the distance, I saw other cells. Some of them were empty, but a few had Pokemon in them. They looked very tired, and in pain, as though someone had beaten them. That thought, along with the enviroment of the room, made me very worried about what was going to happen to me. I looked over to one wall and saw a rack of....weapons such as whips, and sticks. That made me fall to the floor in shock. I sort of huddled into a corner and stood there. Now I know that something bad is gonna happen to me! I thought, very scared. What else would torture weapons be used for besides torturing? Definitly not cleaning. Also, it matched together: beaten Pokemon in cells, rack of weapons, and dark musky room in the middle of nowhere. I was in a torture chamber! I slid down to the ground, still stunned. Beads of sweat were now rolling down my body. It was a cold sweat. The sweat you experience when your scared. Great! I'm in a torture chamber! Why did I have to get brought here!? Why a torture chamber of all places!? With that horrific discovery, I sat down and tried to sleep, the headache now receading.

******

........come on..........good reviews, good reviews........ :D

Thumbs up...
 

bluwirz

An Ode to the Fallen
Author's Note:
Yeah, Chapter 1 was supposed to come out yesterday, but Halloween took some time away from finishing it. Sorry if it's a little on the short side. Also, Raik is pronounced "rike" or "reich." Thought I'd let ya know...
Hope you like Chapter 1! Tell me what I can do better because Chapter 2 is currently in production! Remember, description isn't my strong point! Happy Halloween! :D

-bluwirz ^_^

******
Chapter 1: The Dungeon

I woke up huddled in a ball, shivering. The cell was cold, as if it were made of solid ice. No warmth at all. Heck, there wasn't even an old rag to help keep me warm. Whats worse was that the chain was making me even colder. It froze my neck to the point where it hurt. It felt like being jabbed in the neck with a small cold knife. S-s-so c-cold... I thought, still shivering. I had never had a night this cold before. This told me I was near the mountains. The mountains were the only place where it could get this cold. I looked out the small barred window to see how late it was. Just like before, there was no sign of the sky or the outside world. I was beginning to think that it wasn't a window, but that was the lest of my worries. My biggest priority was to figure out where I was.

Just then, I heard a metal door open in the distance. It creaked loudly through the silent room. I heard footsteps on the hard floor, heading in my direction. Then I saw them. There were two men, both young looking. The first one had long black hair and wore dark clothing, almost as if he were trying not to be seen in this dark room. He stood in front of the other guy, and what worried me was what he was carrying. In his hands, he carried a large gun. The gun was mostly wood and had metal parts around the top. That gun looks pretty strong..... I thought, staring at the large weapon, eyes enlarged with amazement. The second guy had dark blonde hair and wore the same clothes as the first guy, as if they were in a cult or something. He was behind the guy, with something in his hands. Upon a closer look, I discovered it was a chain, just like the one I had, and on the other end, was a Pokemon. I saw that it was a very badly beaten Sandshrew. He wasn't moving. He looked as though he was out cold. They dragged him to a cell about 20 feet from mine. They opened the door, threw him into the cell, and shut the door. When I say they threw him, I mean they THREW him into the cell, hard! He hit the wall, and fell to the ground with a lound thud, and they shut the gate. They started over toward
door they had come through, until the blonde haired guy took a quick glance in my direction, and stopped. He signaled the other guy to follow him. They walked over to my cell, went up to the door, and peered at me through the bars.

"Hey, look who's up!" said the blonde guy, staring down at me with an evil grin. He then silently laughed, as if he found this amusing. What's so funny... He looked over at his partner and asked, "Which one is this?"

I was still in the corner at the far end of the cell so he couldn't reach me. He found a way though. Just then, the black haired guy put his arm through the bars and reached for the part of the chain that was attatched to the wall. He grabbed it and pulled it as hard as he could. I almost went flying over to the bars. Instead, I flew up and landed hard on the ground. Then I was yanked over to the bars, where I hit my head on the cold steel bars. He then reached over and grabbed my tail and checked the weird inscription
that was burned onto my tail. He stared at it and muttered to his partner, "He's in the MC tests down the hall, and he's #14. Our newest addition to that section, and hopefully, for his sake, his tests wont fail." Hearing that mad me scared as to what would happen if these "tests" did in fact fail.

Then, for an unknown reason, I attempted to shock them. I must have gotten annoyed when they abused me like that and my instincts told me to defend myself beacuseat that moment, I jumped up and tried to shock them......but nothing happend. I tried again, but with the same results. My cheeks sparked, but nothing else happend. They both laughed. Then, the
black haired guy said, "Well, it seems he has discovered what our new injections do," he smiled with an evil look. He dropped the look, got serious and said, "Foolish Pokemon!" He then took the gun he had been holding and hit me directly in the face with the back of it. When the gun collided with my face, I felt as though something had broke, and I heard a strange cracking sound. I landed hard on my back and hit my head hard on the stone
ground. I was stunned. He actually hit me.... I thought, laying on my back. He then said, "You will learn respect, one way, or another.....or else!" He then pulled out the metal part at the top of the gun, and then pushed it back in. I noticed that something flew out of it. With that, he turned, and he and his partner left the room.

When they left, I got up, still in a tremendous amount of pain, and I went to see what had flew out of the gun. I picked it up and looked at it. It was long, small, made of metal, and was a bronze color. It was a bullet. But, there was something wrong with it. It was empty. It had been used! I dropped it in fright. I didn't want to know what the bullet had been used for, but I already had a greusome idea. I then limped over to the dirty mirror. I wanted to check the damage done to my face. When I looked, there was a large red mark in the shape of the back of the gun, and blood. I was sure that he broke my nose. I simply wiped it off and went back to the corner. It hurt badly. I tried to ignore it like I did the headache I had earlier, but it was worse than the that. As I sat there, I realized that since this was a torture chamber, this was only the beginning.

"I see that you met the Dungeon Keepers," said a voice nearby. I looked for the source of the voice, but I saw no one. I then heard him say, "I'm over here. In the cell next to yours." I walked over to the left side of my cell where there was small hole in the large stone wall. I looked through and saw who was talking to me. It was a Pichu. He looked more beaten than me. His fur was messy and looked very unwashed. But, even with all the
injuries, he looked so familiar. After, a few seconds, it hit me. He looks almost like I did when I was a Pichu! I had never seen anyone that looked like me when I was young. He looked through at me and said, "So, when did you get in?" Just like before, I had no idea what the time was or how much had passed. I looked at him and said, "I'm pretty sure it was a day ago. What about you?" He looked like he had to think about it for a while, as if he had been here forever. After a few seconds of dead silence, he finally said, "Not sure. It could be anywhere from 2-3 weeks to almost a month." The second I found out he had been here a long time, I wanted to ask every question about this place that I could, but I just thought to myself, Don't bombard him with questions.....

I decided to ask a few questions first, then see what happened from there. I started out simple and asked, "What's your name?" He simply said, "Just call me Sparks. It's basic. So, what's yours?" I said, "Raik."

Before I could ask him anything else, he began asking me questions. "What's your number?" he asked, sounding very curious. I simply looked at him and said, "It just says 'MCTS14'. Why? What does it mean?" He looked over. "Well, I can't be sure of that. If yours said 'DSTS' instead of 'MCTS' I could tell you what your headed for. My number is 'DSTS03'." I was confused. All of this was hard to understand. "What does yours mean?"
I asked. He knew I was confused, even before I asked him the question. I could tell he was getting ready to explain either something long or complicated because he took a long deep breath and let it out before continuing.

"In this place, you are branded with a number. The number stands for a different experiment. Take yours for example. 'MCTS' is just an acronym for one of their experiments. They use the acronym for 2 reasons: For a smaller branding, and so that we don't find out what they're doing to us. I'm not sure what 'MC' means, but 'TS' stands for 'Test Subject'. I know, it's on every branding." I nodded in response. I was wondering why he didn't use his as an example.

Then, I started to wonder, what does his mean? I wanted to find out now, so I asked him, "What does yours mean?" He didn't respond. I looked through the hole and saw him in a slump, staring at his feet. He had this almost depressed look on his face, and I felt as though I had asked the wrong question. I wasn't expecting him to tell me. "Nevermi-" he cut me off and said, "No, I'll tell you." He was still in the same position as before. He took another deep breath, just as before, and started to explain. "Just to let you know, when I tell you, you probably wont believe me." I gave him a funny look. After everything I've seen in the past 2 days, your story probably wont surprise me a bit. I thought, same expression on my face. I simply responded, "Try me."

******

It's done......yup..... :D
 
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bluwirz

An Ode to the Fallen
Author's Note:
Yes, it's finally done. I finished Chapter 2. It's LONG! Enjoy! :D

-bluwirz ^_^

******

Chapter 2: Blackout Tests

The conversation had really slowed down after that question. After another deep breath, he continued with his explanation. "Their tests are insane, yet they're so advanced," he started in a low voice. He was talking as though he didn't want anyone to hear, which confused me. Why's he talking so low and monotone? I thought. I decided to not pay any attention to it. Didn't seem like a big deal. I was confused though as to what he meant by that sentence. I found myself asking him, "What do you mean?" He was now out of sight from the hole. He had moved out of view so that he could lay against the wall behind him. "Their tests are "bizzare" tests that have either never been thought of, or were always thought of as inhumane and cruel....only, they test them," he said, now in a more quiet voice. I turned slightly and asked, "What do you mean inhumane and cruel? What kinds of tests could have been thought of, but were never put into action?"

He gave a faint low laugh and said, "Anything that could alter DNA or the evolutionary path. Splicing, altering evolution, untested viral seirums, and anything in that catigory." I almost laughed myself. He knew some big words for such a small guy. I asked, "They do those kind of experiments?" He simply said, "Yes, they do." I didn't believe him. "How would you know?" I asked with great disbelief. There was a long pause until he finally responded, "Because, I'm in their experiments too, obviously."

"Well, what catigory would you fall under?" I asked. Another long pause. He started again. "My tests," he began, "would most likely fall under evolutionary altering." Now I had gotten confused again. "What exactly were your tests?" I started to ask. He gave a short sigh and said, "'DSTS' stands for 'De-Evolutionary Stone Test Subject'." For a second, I hadn't understood what he had said, as though what he had said was completely unbelieveable. All that came out of my mouth was, ".....what?"

He gave another sigh before explaining. "They have created what they're calling the De-Evolutionary Stone. The goal was to create a stone that can basically reverse evolution. Why? I have no idea. All you need to know is, I was Test Subject #3. They brought me into a room, had some guy take a colorless crystal looking stone and chuck it at my head, and I blacked out. Hurt like hell. When I woke up, I was a Pichu. So basically, I was a Pikachu, but after the test, I'm a Pichu," he concluded.

For a while, I sat there and just let my mouth sort of fall open in shock. My eyes had widened to the size of tennis balls. I was just stunned that they could actually acheive that kind of technology. From the look of where I was, I wouldn't even have believed they had running water, let alone rocks that can mess with our evolution. He could tell I was really shocked. He said, "Told you. It's unbelievable that they can make stuff like that, isn't it?"

I then said, "This place doesn't even look like it could house anything high-tech!" I heard him laugh. "You think the entire facility looks like this?" he started, still laughing slightly. "Entire facility"....There's more?! I thought, still listening to him explain. "This...all this....it's for show. This room was made to look as though we had been brought to a torture chamber, so we wouldn't know what they were doing to us. It still is a torture chamber for the most part, but thats not all it is. I saw one room, full of computers and high-tech equipment. They're messing with us! They're trying to break us. Do you get it?" He was finally in view of the hole. He had looked me straight in the eyes for that entire explanation. I could tell he was being serious now. "So what does-"

Before I could finish my question, the door at the end of the room opened. Through the door came those 2 guys from before, including the one that had hit me. I stared at them with a look of hate, especially towards the black-haired guy. He's the one that hit me..... I thought, still staring at him. To my surprise, he came right over to my cell, and opened the door. He looked at me with the same look I gave him. I was expecting another blow to my face with the back end of the gun, but instead, he just unhooked my chain from the wall, and held it in his hand, firmly. He then said in a slightly deep grim voice, "Time for your tests." A dark smile ran across his face as he said that. The only thing that ran across me though was a cold shiver down my spine. Just the way he had said that, added with the stories that Sparks had told me made me feel quesey, like I would throw-up.

He then yanked on the chain, attempting to lead me out of the cell. A thought to run crossed my mind, but then I thought of the consequenses. He could hit me again, or even shoot me..... I thought, still running over my options. I didn't have much time to think because at that moment, they made the decision for me. He pulled the chain with great force and dragged me out of the cell. It wasn't very comfortable, as my had head crashed into the thick concrete floor without even the slightest warning, and then I was dragged across it. I tried to stand, but they were walking at a fast pace and everytime I attempted to get up, I would just fall flat on my face right back into the stone cold floor. I finally just gave up trying to stand and just laid there as they dragged me through the door and into a hallway.

The hallway looked the same as the room did. Rusted stone walls and floor, rusty lamps hanging from the celing with dim flickering bulbs, and the same cold temperature. Did he lie? I thought, taking a good look at the new enviroment. Still dragging me, they walked down the hall, passing many doors along the way. I really wanted to know what was behind them, but I knew I would never find out. They went through another door leading into another hallway, only this one had some other humans. They were all dressed in white coats and they carried papers and many other objects that I wasn't able to identify. I saw a few other Pokemon being led into rooms as well, and the same thought crossed my mind each time I saw one: I wonder what their number is...

Finally, after what seemed like forever, they stopped at a door. This gave me ample time to stand up and brush off what little dirt I could. I looked ahead of me to check for the reason we had stopped. They were at another rusted door, only this one had some kind of lock in which they had to scan some kind of card to open it. There was a wierd buzzing noise and then they opened the door, threw me inside, and shut it. Yet again, I landed on my face, right on the hard ground. I was getting sick of this. My nose started to bleed again, so I wiped it off. It wasn't as bad as when I had been hit with the gun, but it still hurt badly. My biggest concern at that moment, though, was to figure out where they had brought me.

I took a look around the room. It was pretty much like the cell, only bigger and minus the bars. The room was a rectangular shape and was lit by a long, dim, flickering lamp hanging from the ceiling. There wasn't much to the room. On the other side of the room, lay a Bulbasaur, not badly beaten like all the other Pokemon I saw, but still beaten. He sat there, staring at me with a blank expression. I looked to my right and saw what looked to be like a large mirror. It was strange looking though because it had a yellowish tint to it, and I could swear I saw movement behind it. Next to it, another door leading to who knows where.

There was another human in the room. He wore a white coat like the ones I'd seen in the hallway, but was much older looking, and much taller. He had thin glasses perched on the tip of his nose. The 2 guys left when they threw me inside so it was just me, that Bulbasaur, and this creepy scientist. The scientist finally looked away from the papers he was reading, and looked at me. He studied me for a second, peering through his glasses with a strange gaze. Finally, he reached over and grabbed my tail, then continued to study that for a while. Why the hell is everyone yanking my tail!? I swear, just one more.... I thought angrily, giving an evil stare towards the scientist. He didn't notice.

Finally, he let go of my tail and went over to the papers, scanned them quickly, layed them on a desk he was standing next to, and walked through the door next to the "mirror." I caught a quick glimpse of what was behind the door. For the first time, I saw a room that didn't look the rooms I had seen so far. It was cleaner and well lit, with brighter lamps lighting it. I felt warmer air blow over my body once he opened the door. I enjoyed every second of it, as I had not felt any warmth since my arrival to this place.

He came out after a few minutes, and went over to his papers, but didn't pick them up. Instead, he stood by the desk and started to watch me. I knew that the test was starting. Then, he raised his hand, like some kind of signal, and then lowered it. I was very nervous. I had no idea what was supposed to happen or what was going on. All this pressure started to give me a small headache. I was expecting something to rip out of my body or for me to suddenly go blind........but nothing happened. Moments went by, but nothing happened. I looked over at the scientist. He was watching me very anxiously, like he was expecting the greatest thing ever to appear. Then I got an idea. This was my chance to get a laugh outta this entire experience. I was gonna toy with him, mess with him, do anything to piss him off.

I started simple. I scratched my head where my headache was growing. He looked pretty mad once I did that. He then stormed back through the door, and I heard him yelling, "All he did was scratch his head! Increase the intensity now, or your all fired!" He came back out, stomping his feet loudly, and returned to his original spot.

Once again, he watched me with the same expression on his face. My headache was now getting worse, mostly because all the screaming he did echoed really loudly throughout the empty room and it hurt my ears. I looked over to where the Bulbasaur was, and I started to laugh once I saw him. He had layed down and was now sleeping. That was the most enjoyable part about being here so far. But it didn't last long. The second he saw me laughing at the napping Bulbasaur, he became enraged and stormed over to the door once more. It was a funny site, as he had started to go balistic and was threatening everyone in the room with their jobs once more. He then went back to the same spot yet again.

Now I started to realize something was wrong. My headache just kept getting worse, and I was having headaches more than I usually did before I came here. These experiments must be tied to my headaches some how......but how? I thought as the headache increased. As it got worse, I started to put my hands on my head and grab in a desperate attempt to stop the pain. The scientist was now becoming overjoyed, like a kid on Christmas. He signaled his hand in an upward motion, which I guessed it meant to increase whatever he was talking about earlier. Just as before, the headache increased, causing pain to now flow down my body. I was now on the floor, still clutching my head, my eyes closed tightly. As it got worse, I could feel myself getting more and more tired, knowing that any minute, I would lose all consciousness. Finally, the pain became too intense, and everything faded into black.

******

YES IM DONE!!!......now on to Chapter 3......>_< Wahhh!!!
 

bluwirz

An Ode to the Fallen
Author's Note:
Well, it took a while, but it's done. I had a hard time with introducing a new character because I couldn't think of a Pokemon and a name. But I did it! So to whoever is reading, here you go! :D

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Chapter 3: Insane

******
"If we couldn't laugh,
we would all go insane."
-Jimmy Buffet​
******

I awoke to a loud sound echoing through the musky room. I stood up, head thumping violently, pain pulsing down throughout my body. I was so dizzy, I was getting quesey just by standing in that one spot. What the hell happened? I thought, grabbing my head tightly. I looked around. I was back in the cell. Then, the sound that woke me up got even louder. I scuffled over to the bars, looked around the room, and discovered the source of the noise.

A few cells across the room, in another cell, there was a Marill. I watched him for a few seconds before I noticed that the sound he was making, was a sound I thought I'd never hear in this place. He was laughing? I couldn't believe what I was seeing, but upon a closer look, I realized it wasn't what I thought. Upon further inspection, I noticed that he was laughing like some insane lunatic from an asylum. He was on the floor, pounding his fist into the floor, and clutching his stomach. He must have been through a lot for him to laugh like that. I had also noticed that he had more wounds on his body than me, suggesting that he had been here for a rather long time. This little show went on for about 6 minutes or so, until security finally came bursting in. They rapidly opened his door, took him out, and then dragged him out of the room, through a different door on the other side of the room, him still laughing every second.

There was a long silence after he was taken away, until I finally said, "Ok, that....was messed up!" I looked around the room again. Other Pokemon in cells had went up to their doors and watched the bizzare scene in surprise. Most of them were still staring, eyes widened. Then, a small thought crossed my mind. How.....how far am I from ending up like that guy? From going completely insane and being dragged out to who knows where? I thought, still absorbing what I had just seen. Of course, I knew what would happen if was dragged out of here.

That's when I heard it. A really loud bang. It rang throughout the room, echoing off the rusted walls and through all the cells. Instantly, I knew what the sound was, and an ice cold feeling swept down my spine, and I became almost completly paralyzed with fear. That was a gunshot!

Thats when terror set in the room. Everyone heard that! You could tell by the horrified looks on their faces. All the Pokemon had now become nervous looking with terrified gazes on their face. Some had even backed up against the cell walls and huddled up in a corner, mubbling to themselves. This was one of the worst sights I had ever seen, and one of the most terrifying sounds I had ever heard.

"Don't worry, it wont be too long before we all end up like that. Laying on the floor, huddled into a ball, quivering like souless jelly molds, mumbling to ourselves like some insane lunes trying to keep our sanity, while unknown to us, it is so far from gone. Get someone to talk to, you might last a bit longer than the loners. Loners are always the first to go...." said a nearby voice. I thought it was Sparks, so I went over to the hole to talk, and try and keep my sanity. I definitly didn't want to end up like that crazed Marill. There was something wierd about his voice today. It sounded higher pitched, almost female.....but I ignored it. When I looked through the hole, I was stunned at what I saw.

Sparks wasn't near the hole. In fact, he was all the way on the opposite side of the cell, asleep. I noticed that he was in a funny position. He was in the corner, huddled up for warmth. He was pushing his ears down to his head, as to block out every sound he could, and he had a strained look on his face as he slept. It was obvious that he was cold and had heard the insane laughter and gunshot, and was desperatly trying to ignore it and remain asleep.

Now only one thing confused me. Who was just talking to me? I thought. "Oh, please don't say I'm hearing imaginary voices! Am I losing it too!?" I said aloud.

"No, your not hearing imaginary voices and I'm not sure, but you might be losing it. I'm in the cell next to you." the voice said again. I was sure that the voice was female now. So, I went over to the source of the voice. It was very great satisfaction to know that I wasn't losing it, or hearing voices.

There wasn't a hole on this side so I couldn't see her, but somehow she knew I was there. Finally, she said, "Well, I thought you'd never find me. Of course, I also thought that everyone here had already snapped and become mentally unstable, but I guess that I can be wrong twice in the same day. So, are you going to give me some details about yourself or what?."

She was definitly a strange one. She used lots of sarcasm, attempting to make jokes out of everything she could. She also, seemed a bit demanding, but I blamed this place for that. Although, she was sarcastic and bossy, she had an innocent sound in her voice, which sounded calm and quiet. I could tell that she was only acting like this. I wondered what kind of Pokemon she was, but because her cell was right next to mine, I could not.

"Well?" she said, snapping me out of my daze of thought. I shook my head to wake myself up and then answered, "Well what?" Boy, that was a stupid question! I thought, smacking myself in the head. She sighed and said, "Just tell me your name and where your from...."

"Well," I started, "My name is Raik, I'm a Raichu, and I used to live in the forest until I was brought to this place." I had lied about where I lived because I really didn't have a home. Sadly, I was a loner. I never wanted to stay in one place. I traveled mostly in the mountains and forests, very rarely near fields or clearings near cities. I found it too open and it would put me at the risk of encountering trainers. I never wanted to be imprisoned in a ball and forced to fight other Pokemon just so the trainer could get some cheap plastic that allows him to battle harder trainers. Thats all trainers did. But none of this was really important. I then asked her, "What about you?"

She simply replied, "Well, my name is Mikka (Mee-Kuh), and I'm a Squirtle. I used to live by the ocean, in a small quiet grotto. I really do miss it, and I would give anything to get back there....." Well, it was nice to know what Pokemon she was, so my curiousity could now stop pestering me.

"So, what experiments they got you doing?" she asked out of curiousity. I should have known this was going to come up. Asking others what experiments they've got you in was like some game around here, probably the only thing keeping most prisoners sane. I simply answered what I always did when asked this question, "MCTS14. I'm still not sure what it stands for..." She sighed again, sounding dissapointed. I knew that she must not be in my section.

She then replied, "I haven't found anyone with the same number as me yet.....I fell like I'm the only one..." Now she sounded depressed. I thought that I may be able to help her out if I knew what her's was. So I asked, "What's yours?" She replied, "PDITS02, and before you ask, it stands for Power Draining Injecton Test Subject." Well, she read my mind because that was exactly what I was about to ask. I didn't have to ask about what that meant because I had been injected with the stuff according to those 2 guys. I wanted to know one question though.

"So, if you've been injected with the same stuff I was, then you must know how long it lasts, right?" I asked. There was a short silence until she finally said, "Well, it depends. You were injected when?"
"I have no idea. I just woke up. They could have injected me while I was asleep."
"Well, how long were you out?"
"Dunno."
"Ok, when were you brought here?"

I had to think for a while because I wasn't sure. I just made an estimate and said, "I'm guessing somewhere around a day or 2...." She then said, "Well, it should have worn off already. The newest ones only last about 15 hours. Try and use an attack." I didn't want to know how she knew it took that long. I attempted a Thundershock, but nothing happened besides a few sparks, followed by quiet crackling. "Nothing." I said unhappily.

"Well, they must have given you a fresh injection while you slept. So, 15 hours of no power whatsoever. Welcome to my life here." she concluded. I was pretty disappointed now knowing how long they actually last. Great.....15 hours! Just perfect....and then after that wears off, I can go for ANOTHER 15 hours...... I thought, now sitting in a slump.

I had to get out of here, but I had no ideas. Everything here seemed to work perfectly. I saw no flaws in security, and I saw no way of escaping. The only things that seemed to be exits were the 2 doors at each end of the room, and the "window" in my cell. Of course, it didn't look like a window. It never produced light, and it never opened. And if it wasn't a window, then why was it barred up like one? I sat there and thought about everything for a long time. I thought of everything that I learned about this place, and everything I saw. Then, it hit me like a sack of rocks. I knew instantly what it was. Everything added up! Now there was only thing left to do. I had to plan the escape.....

******

Enjoy! I have to work on Chapter 4 now......
 

bluwirz

An Ode to the Fallen
Author's Note:
I got lucky and finished this in just one day! And a good hello to my friend that I know is reading this right now! (thats right 666, I mean you![not the devil]) Enjoy this chapter because I spent every second today writing it! :D

-bluwirz ^_^

Character Reminders:
Raik = Raichu;026; = Male
Sparks = Pichu;172; = Male
Mikka = Squirtle;007; = Female

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Chapter 4: The Vent

I'm not sure how long I was there. It was impossible to tell time when your cut off from the outside world for so long. It felt like I had been there for months, when it could have just been a matter of days. Lucky for me, now I had 2 others to talk to. We formed a group, and together, remained sane.

Everyone had been on edge since the Marill incident. Today though, everything seemed more quiet than usual. Dead, lifeless, as though everyone had dissapeared, but they were not. They were mearly hiding in fear, trying to live in the shadows, to keep away from any pain. No matter where you hid, they would get you. You cant escape from pain, and suffering in a place like this. It was inevitable, like death. One way or another, your time comes, and there's nothing to do....

It was colder than usual today, and in a stone and metal cell, no warmth could be obtained. I knew that we must be dead-smack in the center of winter. There was no doubt about that. Over the extended time I had been here, I have had 5 more tests like the one before, where I lost consciousness. They were just the same, only with different Pokemon in the room. I did see that Bulbasaur during the next test I took. The wierd part of it was that he seemed deathly afraid of me once I entered the room, with a look of pure terror on his face. It confused me because I had no idea why he reacted like that. Of course the test after that one, I never saw him again...

Each test, the headaches got even worse, causing me to drop to the floor in pain in a shorter amount of time. Everytime, I woke up in the same position, face first on the cell floor, head throbbing uncontrolably. I was now expecting all of it to happen in the same order, like a daily routine.

I sat there, huddled in the corner, trying my best to remain warm. It was a feeble attempt, but I had no other option if I wanted to get warm. I wasn't going to go crazy. but I was getting really ****** off. I couldn't stand this place anymore! I had eaten nothing since I got here, causing my stomach to cramp horribly. I was freezing, and the chain only made it worse. Plus, to top it all off, I was getting skull spliting headaches everyday, and it was driving me mad! My only hope now was for my escape plan to work, but I didn't have everything I needed yet.

The discovery of what the "window" really was made this plan possible. I had discovered that what I thought was a window, was actually an air vent, which blew cold air into the room, giving the dungeon atmosphere. Thanks to what Sparks had told me before about this place, everything added up. He said that everything was made to look like a dungeon. Then, there was the warm air from the one room I felt during the first tests I'd taken. Finally, the vent never produced light like a window should in the day. That all added up to only one thing: a vent.

The only problem with the plan so far was that I had to get one more item that would be hard to get in order for the plan to succeed. I needed a scalpel, to remove the screws off the barred grate that sealed the vent shut. I already had a hairpin for picking the locks on the chain, and a couple bricks to stand on to reach the vent. Those were easy, but I wasn't sure how I was going to get a scalpel. I managed to think of a way to get one, but Mikka would have to get it. She would need to hide one in her shell when they brought her in for a quick test. It all depended on her.....

I had to wait a while, she had only been gone about 5 minutes. While I waited, I started to talk to Sparks about the escape. He had seemed to like the idea of getting out of this "hellhole" as he called it. "I would give a leg to get out of this cell and get some food!" he had told me before. He looked desperate to get out of here, just like everyone else in here. Unlike everyone though, we were getting out of here later today, when all the guards left.

After another few minutes, they finally brought Mikka back, and put her in her cell. Surprisingly enough, it was the same 2 guys who brought me to around the facility. They looked the same everyday, with same clothes and hair. They even carried the same guns I had seen them with before. The one black haired guy gave me a dirty look before he left with the other guy.

Once they left, I walked over to the right side of the bars and tried to see if she was okay. "Mikka? Are you alright?" I asked with concern. I heard a groan, and then a cough. She sounded hurt. I asked again, "Are you okay?"

Finally, she answered, "Yes...*cough*...I'm fine. They just threw me into the cell is all. Can't wait to get out of here..." I wondered if that meant she had gotten the scalpel after all. I had to know, so I asked, "Did you get it?"

"It took a while to get, but I mangaed to grab one while they were distracted with the papers. Here." she said. There was a metal-hitting-stone sound and I looked to the ground to be greeted by what I had wanted for so long. A scalpel, and my chance at escape. I picked it up and studied it. It was a nice gleaming silver, pretty much brand new, and looked completely unused. Now that we had everything that we needed, all that was left was to wait for the chance.

The chance came sooner than expected. Only about a few hours after Mikka brought the scalpel, the guards made one last check on all the Pokemon, walked out the door, and locked it behind him. This would be our only chance to get out of here. Quickly the plan set in.

The first step was to pick the locks on the chains hooked to our necks. It was a tedious task, making me very frustrated. I had to jam the pin into the little hole and try to release the lock, which I spent forever doing. Once I finally got it, I handed the pin over to Sparks, so that he could try to pick his. While he did that, I stacked the bricks on top of each other, and used them as a stepping stool to reach the grate. Then, I had to use the scalpel to unscrew the screws to open the grate. This, like the lock picking, was tedious and annoying. The screws were brand new and were screwed in tightly, forcing me to strain every muscle in my arms to twist them out.

Once I got 2 out, there was a tap on my foot. I jumped and fell off the bricks, landing on my head. When I opened my eyes, I was greeted by Sparks. He was hovered over me, staring at me with a smile, holding up the hairpin. Sneaky little devil must have crawled through the hole while I was distracted.... I thought as he brought the pin to Mikka. I climbed back up onto the bricks, and finished pulling the last 2 screws out. The grate almost fell, but I managed to catch it before it could. If it had hit the ground, we might have gotten caught.

The only thing left to do now was wait for Mikka to get her chains off and unscrew the grate on her vent. There was no hole for her to crawl through to my cell, so she couldn't come with us. We would have to meet her in the somewhere ventilation system.

"I got the chain off. Hand me the stuff!" she said. I slid the bricks and the scalpel to the front of her cell, and she took them. I gave her instructions on what to do, and she okayed me. I heard her struggling to remove the screws, but she managed to get them out after a while. Finally, she we heard her gently put the grate on the floor and and then ask, "Now what?"

This was going to be very difficult to do since she wasn't in my cell. I told her to pass the bricks to me. I stacked the bricks so that I could get into the vent. Once I climbed in, I told Sparks to take the bricks to her and let her climb in to the vent in her cell. "Well, how am I getting up?" he asked, looking up at me. I turned around and dropped my tail out so that he could grab it and said, "Okay, try and climb up my tail. But do it quick because I'm gonna be feeling a lot of pain."

"Okay," he said, reassuringly. He gave a quick countdown, jumped up, and grabbed my tail and began oulling himself upward. It was really painful, as I was not used to carrying that much weight on my tail. I got lucky and he managed to get up really quickly. Afterwards, my tail was sore, but we had made it! The vents.

The first thing I noticed was how cold it was in the vent. As an added bonus, the whole vent was made of metal, so it made it worse. We managed though. The vent went straight for a few feet, and then forked in 2 defferent directions. Just as we got to the fork, Rikka came crawling from the left path. This was the first time I got a good look at her, but it was dark and hard to tell. There was some light from behind us pointing on her, allowing me to see her better.

She was barely injured, and was actually quite clean. She looked sweet with a soft complexion, and had a charming smile that swooned you in a way. She looked at us with the sweet smile, and said, "It's nice finally to see you guys!" She looked at me for a second and then said, "Wow, your in bad shape," she turned towards Sparks and said, "and so are you! How hard did they beat you guys?"

I looked at her and said, "That's not important right now. We have to get to the end of the ventilation system, find the exit out of the facility, and go get some officers or something to help us." Her and Sparks nodded in response. We started through the vents, passing many forks and turns. It seemed endless, like a maze, only we weren't hitting any dead ends. We had to be quiet or someone could hear us crawling around and contact security, then we'd be screwed...

It seemed as though the end of the vent system would never come, but we found it. We took many turns we thought might be wrong, but we had succeeded! I studied it carefully. It seemed rusted slightly, a first so far. I grabbed hold of it and yanked on it, and to my surprise, it popped right off. That was easy! Another first... I thought, still holding onto the rusted grate. I layed it behind me against the vent wall, and cautioned Mikka and Sparks to be careful to not step on it.

After a conformation hand signal from them, I slowly began to climb out of the vent. Strangly, the vent exit was right near the floor, so climbing out wasn't a big deal. I touched the floor, it's nicer, warmer feel on my feet making me happier every second. I took a quick look at the new surroundings, and was quite pleased with them. A small thought crossed my mind, making the experience greatly enjoyable. We're in the facility!

******

On to Chapter 5!!! Im gettin far!
 

bluwirz

An Ode to the Fallen
Author's Note:
I finally finished Chapter 5, but it's really short. I've been working on a sequal which I promise will be better than this by a mile! So, to whoever is reading still, here's your chapter.

-bluwirz;026;

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Chapter 5: The Facility

For once in this place, happiness had overswept me. We got out of those dank cells and were one step closer to getting out of this dump. The outside world had been out of my reach or so long, and now, I could almost feel the wind blowing through my fur, the bright sun greeting me in the sky. I couldn't wait, and nothing was going to stop me from reaching it.

Rikka and Sparks had crawled out of the vent and were standing behind me, getting a good look at the room we had obliviously entered. It was definitly a change of scenery. The room was filled with large pipes, all leading through the walls. The walls were a white plaster, and the floors were stone, like in the cells, only cleaner. We were in the main vent room, where they could control the temperature of the whole facility. I had an idea to make the base freeze and warm some of the Pokemon that were still in the cells, but I knew it would give us away. So we continued onwards, to the door at the end of the room.

We opened the door, which took a few seconds, considering we weren't the tallest guys here, and entered the next room. We had entered a hallway. We looked down both ends of the long passageway. The only lights on were very dim, and had a dull yellowish tint to them. Back-up Lights. They probably use them for night use, as to not burn power. I thought, still studying them.

We decided to turn left and head down that way. Something in the back of my head had told me to take the left side, so, I listened. My instincts would usually point me in the right direction. They always did. When I was wandering the forests, my instincts would tell me to go in the directions that normally wouldn't be taken, but I followed. I was always lead to food and a warm place to sleep, and sometimes, other Pokemon to chat with. Of course, being a loner, I had almost no friends. In fact, Rikka and Sparks were my only true friends. But, right now, none of this mattered. What mattered now was to find the exit, and get out of here.

We traveled down the hall, blissfully unaware of what we might encounter, but it did not stop us. We were fueled by the urge to escape. After finally reaching the end of the hall, we came to a door. This door was strange for a few reasons. For one thing, it had nothing on it that opened it. No handle.....no button.....nothing at all. Secondly, it was more sleek looking than the other doors I had seen. I was confused as to how we would open this one, but just as we came close to it, it shot open with a quiet wooshing sound, making us jump in surprise.

For a second, we thought that someone opened the door and that we'd be caught and punished. When we realized no one was passing through the threshold, we came to the conclusion that it was an automatic door. My pulse had quickened from the shock of the stupid door. If the door made me jump like that, I can only imagine what will happen if they find us.....probably have a heart-attack.... I thought.

When we entered the new room, we were overswept with curiousity on the look of the room. It was bigger than the vent room by a big some of feet, and was a bit more empty than it too. It had a few metal tables that were topped with an assortment of papers and office supplies, and one computer in the corner. We went over and checked it. It was broken because it wouldn't turn on, even when plugged in. There was another door at the end of the room so we left.

We had entered another hallway, only this one was smaller. I swear, this place is getting more confusing with every turn... I thought, still trying to navigate through the facility.

We kept on entering door after door, only to hit dead ends. We must have been wandering for at least an hour. Very surprisingly, there were no guards anywhere, and it creeped me out. The silence in the facility was ominous, and dead-like. I couldn't believe that there was no night security. They must think that escape is impossible, but we proved them wrong. Of course, we were still lost, which made no difference. If we didn't get out in time, they'd find us and kill us.

We came up to another door and entered. This room was very small, lika a small office. There was a desk loaded with an assortment of office supplies, papers, and files. Along with the stuff, there was a small computer on the desk, the screen flickering. Out of curiousity, we went up to it and observed it. The screen was black, and had one word on the screen that read: Password: _________.

I attempted to enter some. I first tried: Pokemon. The screen read: Incorrect Entry. I tried some more.
Experiment
Incorrect Entry
Facility
Incorrect Entry
Test Subject
Incorrect Entry

I wasn't getting anywhere. I looked around the desk for any hint for what the password was. There wasn't much. Drawers filled with paper. A few folders. Nothing useful. I looked over at the wall where there were sticky notes posted up. They were all labeled with times, dates, meetings. Yet again, nothing useful. I was about to give up when I noticed a sticky note sticking out from under the keyboard. I pulled it out and looked at it with a smirk. The paper read: User. I entered it into the computer and it froze for a second. Suddenly the screen turned white and read: Password Accepted.

******

Well, I'm done with this Chapter.......on to 6......
 

bluwirz

An Ode to the Fallen
lol! :D
Sadly you cant....but its nice to see someone reading!

-bluwirz;026;
 

7thmagi

God of Pastries
*likes*
This is a good story. I'm thinkin they're gonna get caught.
 

Chaotic Pink

Let the zephyr blow.
Typos in the prologue:
staring a gray concrete
Gray = Grey.

a mirror, and and a chain on the wall.
You used and twice with needing to.

. To me, appearences meant
appearences = appearances

I was wandering throught the
Throught = through out

Now I know that something bad is gonna happen to me! I
Gonna = going to or Goin' to

Definitly not cleaning. Also, it matched
Definitly = Definitely

the headache now receading.
Receading = receding.

I'll post up a proper review later :)
 

bluwirz

An Ode to the Fallen
Yeah, please dont remind me of all those spelling errors from my crappy prologue......I would redo the prologue but Im really busy....

And 7thmagi, youll just have to wait and see! ;)

-bluwirz;026;
 

bluwirz

An Ode to the Fallen
Author's Note:
Well, after 15 cans of Safeway brand Pineapple soda, a box of Christmas cookies, and a few puffs of weed (jk), Chapter 6 is up! I know that I have a few fans that were eager to read this, so to them, here you go now stop pestering me, lol! :D

-bluwirz;026;

******
Chapter 6: Database

The screen had become filled with file-shaped buttons. I had no idea what to do, or how to work computers. I could use a keyboard just fine because all the buttons are labeled, but the mouse was completely clueless to me. I then turned to Sparks and Mikka who were just standing there watching in confusion. I looked at them for a second, then asked, "Do any of you know how to work this thing?"

Sparks shot me a look that said 'you dont know how to use it?' Then he said, "Well, maybe.....but what is all this stuff?" directing a motion towards the keyboard and mouse. I guessed that he might be a quicker learner than me. I signaled him to come on up. He hopped up and began studying all the equipment.

"Ok," I began, pointing at the keyboard first, "this is a keyboard. Use it to type words and other things we might need." He gave a quick nod, and let me continue. I pointed towards the mouse and said, "This is a mouse. I have no idea what it does.....thats your job."

Mikka looked up at me and said, "But Raik, that looks nothing like you." I stood there with total confusion on my face. All I could say was, "What?" She got a big smile on her face and said, "Well, it's a mouse right?" I nodded in response. "And your a mouse right?" she asked.

"Technically, yes....but where are you getting at?" I asked, still a bit confused. She kept her smile and said, "Well then, if your both considered a mouse, then why dont you look alike?" I gave a look and said, "Your kidding, right?" She kept smiling which I guessed ment 'yes.'

"No, wait. Look. Here's the super long tail!" Sparks said laughing, and grabbing the mouse and showing the cord which plugged into the back. He then smiled too and said, "I always wondered why your tail was so long, and today, I got my answer!"

Mikka chuckled quietly. I just looked at him and said, "Haha, very funny. Just remember, you'll be a Raichu soon too, and your going to have the same sized tail!" Sparks looked at me and said, "It's a joke. Have some fun. I mean were leaving this place, so why not party?"

"We can party, but save it for when we get out of here, okay?" I asked. Sparks and Mikka both said, "Fine," and we continued with the computer. Sparks was now messing around with the mouse, trying to see how it worked. After a few minutes, he managed to figure out the basics and we could now start to search for some kind of floor plan for the facility so we could find the nearest exit and leave, once and for all.

The files appeared on the screen vertically, and read:
Basic Facility Procedures
Facility Resources
New Staff
Facility Experiments
Other

I watched and read down the list, and stopped when I read "Facility Experiments." Thats what I wanted to know.....the acronym on my tail! I quickly said, "Go into the experiments one." He nodded and got in.

There were more files listed, only these were all of the acronyms:
BSTS
RPTS
MCTS
KDTS
DSTS
PDITS

I looked at him, and he looked back, with surprise. First, I let him check his first. He entered the DSTS file and the screen flashed more files:
DSTS01
DSTS02
DSTS03

We decided to read some of the other logs, just to see how it went with the other Pokemon subjected to this experiment. We opened the file and a typed document appeared on the screen. It wasn't very long:

"The De-Evolutionary Stones we have tested are going to change Pokemon capture forever. The stone is the same size as any average evolutionary stone, only it has no symbol embeded into it. The using of the stone is basic, simple, and will require good aim and a Pokemon that has a either evolved or has a pre-evolutionary stage. Once the stone hits it's target, it reverts them to childhood, literally. The stone has the negative effect of the evolutionary stones, making the Pokemon weaker and easier to capture."

Well, that explained the reason Sparks was a Pichu instead of the Pikachu he claimed he was before. He looked more satisfied now knowing what was happening to him. We continued to read:

"Subject 01 was administered the test at 19:00 hours. The test rendered him unconscious for an average of 3.4 hours and had no effect. The only major difference was a large lump from where the stone had hit him. The first prototype was trashed and discontinued."

The only question was what had happened to the 'failed test subject.' I didn't want to know, so we ignored the question, and read the next subject's file:

"Subject 02 was issued to test the newest prototype of De-Evolutionary Stone. The newest one had increased strength to make-up for the weaker one. The testing began at 03:00 hours and ended with surprising results. The subject did revert back to the childhood form, but after 4 minutes, it quickly changed back, showing the new prototype to be a failure. The flaw, yet again, was the lack of strength the stone had. The stone was expected to put them in their childhood form for an average of 30-45 minutes. We had to fix that before testing another prototype."

One more file left. Sparks number. He quickly opened it and rapidly scanned through it. I followed:

"Subject 3 is the latest of the test subjects for the De-Evolutionary stone. The newest model had a high energy level, and was up to the point where it was believed that the Pokemon would be out for the expected amount of time. The suject was brought in at 23:00 hours, and was quickly administered the test. The tests were proving very successful, up until it reached the expected amount of time. The 45 minute time limit had been greatfully surpassed, and was going on 1.4 hours. The energy levels in the stone had been set too high, causing an irreversible reversion to the childhood stage. The subject is still in good condition for more experiments, but nothing has been released about whether or not to put him into a new experiment, or just condemn him to execution."

After reading that, I had a stunned look on my face. The words irreversible and execution haunted my mind like Ghastly haunted an old house. I looked over to see how Sparks had taken it. He had a grim look in his eyes, and despair looked as though it had swept through his entire body. I walked over and patted him on the head and said, "Sorry, man."

He looked up at me, tried to flash a quick smile, and calmly said, "Don't worry about it. I'm fine." I saw his eye lid give a quick twitch. I knew he was just trying to cover up the real sadness he was feeling, but I didn't want to pester him.

I looked down at Mikka on the floor, who was looking up at us in confusion. I decided to change the subject, and asked, "Do you want to open your file?" She stood there and thought, and then said, "I don't mind, really..."

We opened the file marked "PDITS" and it brought up a typed document, but no other files. We bagen to read the document:

"The Power Draining Injections are revolutionary to our studies, making testing easier on us and the Pokemon. The injections are given to the Pokemon through a syringe, and the newest batch can last for up to 15-16 hours. During the time the injection is in effect, the Pokemon can use no elemental attacks such as Thunder Bolt or Psychic. The Pokemon can however use physical attack like Tackle and Iron Tail, and injections are being worked to cancel out those attacks as well. Due to the basic properties in making these, only 3 test subjects were needed to test new ones."

Well, there wasn't anything new that we didn't already know. We continued to a section where it mentioned marketing ideas:

"The goal for this was initially to help us, but ideas to sell it as a hunting aid was highly considered and is still being decided. If put into tranquilizer darts, the Pokemon could not fight back in anyway, making it easier for beginner hunters to catch their prey. The product could rake in millions, but is only a thought."

I just couldn't believe what they were thinking. They were going to sell it as a weapon for the humans enjoyment. This whole experience was questioning my trust in the humans. I thought that after this, I would be just about done with humans for good.

There was only one file left that was of any interest to me. Mine. I had to see what they were doing to me. Painful headaches that cause blackouts aren't normal, and I was going to find out what they were doing and why these headaches had been bothering me since my arrival.

I motioned Sparks to the file labeled "MCTS" and we entered it. The file brought up 3 more files:
MCTS01-05
MCTS06-10
MCTS11-14

I was tired of reading them one-by-one. I wanted to know now. I told him to click mine, and another document popped up on the screen. This one was long, but it explained everything and I was shocked at what I read:

"The Machter Mental Control-Chip is a fine piece of technology. The chip shows off only the best nano-technology has to offer. The chip is placed into the surface of the skull, and, once activated, will lock on to the brain waves of the test subject and allow them to be controlled by our computers."

I stood there, my eyes enlarged to the size of tennis balls, and my mouth agape. I thought I might pass out and die right there on the spot, but some unknown force kept me standing. Mind control!? They're using mind control!? I thought, still stunned. I turned towards Sparks, who was now looking at me with remorse and sympathy, but also with a bit of stun. I skipped the other 3 files, and went straight to mine:

"The latest subject was captured and imeadiately brought into the surgical operation room. He was unknowingly fitted with the newest model of our chips. The latest model is a Machter Model 3 Type 12, which we have proven to be more successful than the others. The subject was subjected to the testing and with positive results. Eyewitnesses say that he began to grab his head furiously and then fell to the ground for a few seconds. They then got control, and successfully made him brutally attack the other subject at the other end of the room. Due to the injections the reports said he had taken, he had beaten the other subject brutally with nothing more than his bare hands. This just shows the true power of the chips."

I tried to comprehend what I had just read, but I couldn't because it was so unbelievable. I had visiously beaten another Pokemon! I wiped my face with my hands, roughly. I was now getting a headache, and just the thought of getting another one of those made me afraid that at any minute, I could lose control and attack them. There had to be something I could do, but what?

After a while, I got my idea. I figured that maybe if I could fry the chip with an electrical shock or charge, it would no longer be able to be used by them. The only problem was that I had those stupid injections in my system still, so it wouldn't work, and Mikka was a Water-Type so she couldn't help even if she didn't have the injections.

Another problem was that I had no idea where the chip was located. Without that knowlage, I couldn't fry it. Just then, I realized the most obvious answer to that question. The computer must have had a file on the operation or something.

I quickly scrolled through some more info on my tests, and then I found it. Attached at the bottom of the document, was an X-ray with the label "MCTS14". The picture showed what was supposed to be my skull, facing to the right, and near the top, right behind the ear, was a small black dot. It had to be the chip. I felt behind my ear where the X-ray showed the chip to be located, and I felt a small bump in a straight line form. That must have been where they put the chip... I thought, still feeling the scar.

I had to worry about that later, main priority for now was to find a map to help us escape. We went back and opened the file named "Basic Facility Procedures" and found ourselves looking at another bunch of files:
Rules
Cleaning/Repairs
Emergencies
Security

None of them sounded helpful except for the "Emergencies" file. We figured it might have a map for fire exits or something of use to us. We opened the file and it brought up more files:
Fire
Break In
Escaped Test Subjects

Obviously, the one that could help was "Fire" so we entered that and were greeted.....with a map showing the exits! The facility was pretty big, but I mangaged to find the room we were in. The nearest exit was just down the hall outside. We turned the computer off, and exited the room.

We continued down the hall and found the door. The door was labeled with a small sticker on the front that said "Exit". According to the map, this wasn't a fire escape, so it wouldn't make a sound when opened. This one had to be pushed open. After some serious struggling, we got it open, and wandered into the darkness before us.

******

Thats it......now I must work on another 26 thousands things!!...and Chapter 7! ^_^
 

7thmagi

God of Pastries
Good Job Bluwirz!
an informational chapter. I figured that he had killed the bulbasaur. It was the headaches I didn't piece together.
 

bluwirz

An Ode to the Fallen
Thanks. And you think he would wouldn't you? :D

-bluwirz;026;
 
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