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...my first comic (dont know what to name it)

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uh... here is my first comic... tell me if it needs improvment...

episode 1



I'll just put the newest one here.


stupidcomic6gf.png




CrEdItS

Wally, Brendan, May: The spriter's resource (i also got littleroot from there)
brad: me
Bob: Swimmerboy91
Paint: uh Microsoft? lol.
 
no plz.

TUP-Use speech bubbles. As they make your comic look much better. And the pannel is suposed to show action. Not text.
Sprite Placement-I can't tell what's happaning in the pannels. So it's bad.
Title-If you have no title, that's no good. The title is one of the most important parts of the comic. No title means you really don't care about what your comic is reffered too.
Humor-There is none sadly. Work on jokes.

2/10
 

kapslock

Well-Known Member
Gah were to start?
were`s the speech bubbles?
It looks like you cut the house in half, and put it back together, terribly.
where`s team rocket?
If you don`t fix these,expect alot of critizem (s/p?)
 
shinz said:
There's nothing wrong with no speech bubbles. I like it

Thien it's not really a comic, the stadard of comic's have speech bubbles, these are more like storybooks then anything else.

It's not so hard to make a speech bubble, just wrap a square around your text and add a tiail and then simply place it over the person.
 
but wut's wrong wit no speech bubbles? good comics like LIS don't have speech bubbles, y don't u go tell him to make bubbles.



Dafearo said:
Eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww... Where is that guy??? It's pretty crappy that you have forget about him!


WTF?
 
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ok, fine i will have better grammar starting now. Oh, and by the way, I don't really see the problem with the text under the panel thing. I mean, as long as you know who's speaking, you're good, right? I mean, if this is COMPLETELY necessary, I'll start using them by Episode Two.



Haha, I have good grammar now!
 

Mastercougar

The Infinite Fire
Good grammar, you say? Not yet. It's really relatively easy to edit a post and fix up grammar mistakes. Here's a revised version of your last post:

Ok, fine, I will have better grammar, starting now.

See the diff? Your first sentence had a few errors. I'm not trying to be hypercritical here, I'm just telling you that unless you have close-to-perfect grammar, you're gonna get very little respect.

Why is the text-under-panel thing so bad? Cause it makes it more like a script than a comic. Spritecomics are intended to be almost identical to webcomics, which are supposed to be almost identical to real comics.

Think about it. Would a real comic strip/book ever have text under-panel? Written like a script? No. So can you see why it's unacceptable for real comics?
 

Blivsey

DATA_ERROR
Well, actually, with pokemon overworld sprites it looks much cleaner to do text-under-panel. But you should try as hard as possible to use text bubbles. Also, grammar COULD use improvement, and astericks are no substitute for shown action. All caps is never good for text, and you seem to lack ability to sprite. I see little or no motive here, too. If one has no title or solid plot, that one is not ready to make a comic.

Failure.
 
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E

Eric

Guest
Here's trick you just might want to do, actually show **** happening in your comic. You have that same goddamn thing for 3 panels, AND, you even type that wally gets off the bike. Why not just show the motherf***er doing it? And where is all this happening in your comic? Like, where is Team Rocket? This is a reason to use textboxes, the reader can know where and what is going on.
 
B

Bagonclaw

Guest
This comic is not the best out there. I agree with everyone else about the flaws. However, you used the normal background, which is good If you can't make one yourself. Also,
It looks like you cut the house in half, and put it back together, terribly.
Thank you, pok*e.
Overall, work on this stuff, and you'll be ready to start a susessful comic.
 

kapslock

Well-Known Member
What's crappy???!!1
Your comic you can never find good comic makers these days.
This comic is not the best out there. I agree with everyone else about the flaws. However, you used the normal background, which is good If you can't make one yourself. Also,
Quote:
It looks like you cut the house in half, and put it back together, terribly.
Thank you, pok*e.
Overall, work on this stuff, and you'll be ready to start a susessful comic.
your welcome :p
 

May's brother

Now to the Maxtreme!
this comic sucks, where to start, ah yes:
*You repeated the same image three times in a row
*you can't see team rocket
*wally doesn't get off the bike really

Overall 2/10
 
i want this to be closed so i will spam.






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