My pokemon adventure

[mew 2000]

Intro/back story

back in second grade you would get stickers for writing books and stuff which if you got five you got a prize so being into pokemon i choose to write up a pokemon story with myself and my friend as the main characters, this story didn't take place in any particular region but after i got pearl it became sinnoh,normally i would have used cards for movesets of the pokemon we had but when i lost my cards i didn't have any way of knowing their moves so i stopped writing them. Unfortunately it was that same friend who made me give up pokemon for some number of years but i want to remake the stories i used to write and even include him like always, the names have been changed as they used to be the original names. I will be using some anime characters like i used to.

Edit- A great thanks to shaymin: http://www.serebiiforums.com/member.php?293762-Shymain for the help making this look more detailed and awesome

Prologue: The Journey Begins


One morning, early in the summer, a young boy named Fred woke up. He rubbed his eyes and looked out the window, peering at Professor Rowan's lab. Sleepily, he flopped out of bed and looked at the calender.Finally, it was the day he had been waiting for for years. His birthday. And now he was finally old enough to own a Pokemon! He quickly got dressed and headed downstairs.

His friend, Jacob was already down there waiting. His hair was sliding sideways, and he was hunched against the wall, impatiently tapping his foot against the ground.

"Would you hurry up? I want to get my Pokemon, already." he said with an air of frustration.

Jacob had been waiting for Fred for awhile, so he had a bit of a temper. The only reason he had waited to go on an adventure was because Fred was his friend, and he wanted to go with him.

"Sorry I'm late, let's go!" Fred said.

Fred's mom intercepted him on the way to the door, gave him a bag lunch and hugged him. Tears dripped from her eyes.

"I can't believe my little boy's about to go." she said, sniffling.

She emphathetically said this with great sorrow. Like all mothers, she didn't want her child to go out into the world all by himself– she didn't want to lose him.

"Come on, mom, you're embarrassing me." Fred said, disengaging from her swiftly.

"Be safe on your travels, son."

Fred's mom kissed him on the cheek and gave him another hug.

"I'm sure he'll be fine, dear. He's a responsible young man, after all." said Fred's father.

His mother sighed.

"I'm sure you're right, dear." she said sadly. "Goodbye, Fred. Goodbye, Jacob."

"Bye!" chimed the two friends simultaneously.

She watched them go, sniffling, and her husband patted her on the shoulder.

"Don't worry, he'll be back some day. He has Jacob, he'll be fine."

She found comfort in his words and decided to believe that he was right.

As the boys were walking down the route which led to Rowan's lab, Jacob asked Fred a question.

"Do you know which Pokemon you're gonna get?" asked Jacob quizzically.

Fred started to answer, but then stopped, puzzled. He hadn't put much thought into it– he didn't know what Pokemon he wanted! He looked straight ahead at Rowan's lab.

"I'm not sure yet." he replied tensely.

They reached the lab and knocked on the door. There was silence for a few minutes, so Jacob knocked on the door one more time, but no answer once again..

"Is he not here?" queried Fred anxiously.

Jacob felt that something was wrong. Rowan's lab was always open at this time of day! So why was the lab empty today? Curiosity took him over. He wanted to know what was going on.

"Let's check out back." suggested Jacob.

They walked around the to the back and found nothing. They preceded to check the windows the entire lab was dark. Fred, still worried, started thinking that he might be dreaming since all the lights were out.

"Is he not awake yet?" asked Fred worriedly.

Jacob felt the tension. He knew something was wrong. But then again, maybe Fred was right, and he was asleep, or away, or something. But he wanted his Pokemon NOW. He couldn't wait any longer.

"Let's just sneak in and grab a pokemon." said Jacob.

Jacob slowly opened the window, being careful not to make any noise. He checked the surrounding area to make sure no one was watching. The window came up slowly until it was fully open. He crawled in, then helped Fred get in as he was to short to reach the window.
As they walked through the lab, they checked each hallway for lights, in case he was in a room. Near the very back of the lab, a single door had light seeping though the slight opening in the door. They tiptoed slightly closer. Fred thought he might be studying.


"Maybe he's in there researching something." said Fred.

"Shhh, I hear voices." replied Jacob in a whisper.

They crept towards the door and opened it slightly enough to see what was inside. A Team Galactic member had Rowan in a head lock. Rowan's only Pokemon lay on a desk too far away for him to reach. He was flustered from being grabbed, but remained mostly calm. The grunt spoke:

"Give me your research papers– or else..." snarled the grunt.

"I do not answer to men so rude as you, and your fashion sense is as just as good as your haircut– in other worlds, awful." replied Rowan with indignation.

"You wanna get it, old man?" growled the blue-haired man.

Fred became furious seeing Rowan being held up. He didn't want that man to get away with this. He turned to Jacob.

"He's in trouble, we should help him." said Fred firmly.

Jacob looked at him like he was insane.

"With what Pokemon, genius?" he mumbled back.

Rowan and the grunt still stood there, the grunt continuing to threaten him.

"I won't give you those papers." said Rowan.

The grunt then threw Rowan into a desk. Three Pokeballs that were on it rolled over towards the ground by the door where Fred and Jacob were. The grunt, then taking a Pokeball from his belt, threw it at the ground. A Glameow popped out of the ball. Fred grabbed the closest Pokeball without thinking.

"Let's see how you'll answer to me after I rough you up. Glameow, use Scratch!"

Fred threw the Pokeball, not even knowing what pokemon was inside and gave a single command:

"Please save Professor Rowan!"

A Turtwig burst out in a flash, tackling the Glameow before it could touch Rowan, knockin it into the desk across the room.

"Get away from the professor." shouted Fred.

"A kid? You should go back to the playground, adults are doing business here "

Jacob saw what Fred had done and scanned the remaining two Pokeballs. Wanting to help as well, he picked up a ball and summoned the Pokemon out of the ball to find it was a Chimchar. He became excited seeing that his Pokemon had a type advantage to Fred's Pokemon. He gave Chimchar a command: "Use Ember on his stupid bowl haircut!"

Chimchar used Ember, setting the grunt's hair on fire. The grunt panicked and started flailing his arms about, hitting his hair repeatedly. He ran out of the lab, towards the ocean, to put it out.

"Thank you, boys! Thanks to you, I'm unharmed." congratulated Rowan earnestly.

Jacob was confused at this statement.

"He threw you against a desk and messed up your office. You call that unharmed?" replied Jacob.

"It's nothing, compared to what could have happened." stated Rowan grimly. The Professor looked at the Turwig and Chimchar next to the boys. Surprisingly, the seemed to have taken a liking to the boys.

"Well, you two seem to have bonded with these Pokèmon already. Why don't you take them, as a gift of thanks?

Fred grinned and said "Thanks!"

Jacob, already intending to take the Pokemon, pretended to be surprised and grinned. He didn't bother to mention the fact that he intended to steal it in the first place.

With that they visited the Pokecenter in Sandgem Town to heal up their Pokemon. The two boys were excited ready to start their adventures. They wondered eagerly what was to come.

The two began their journey, walking towards the next town together.

comment on how to improve it thanks for reading ^.^

 

[TestTales]

I'm normally not a fan of script-based fanfic, because I find it very limiting and confusing, but if that's how you want to write, I'm not stopping you. I just personally prefer the usual way, because I find them more versatile and just find them more enjoyable to read. Just remember it’s up to you, and whatever style you write in, write to your best ability.

Anyways, my tips…

Remember basic grammar; capitals, apostrophes, commas and such, as it can be a bit confusing when you read. It's hard to understand because there's quite a few run off sentences, and punctuation is a bit neglected.

Example, instead of:

jacob slowly opened the window being careful not to make any noise he had fully opened it and crawled in he then helped Fred get in as he was to short to reach the window. As they walked through the lab only a single closed door had any lighting coming from it.

And,

Jacob: would you hurry up i want to get my pokemon already.
Fred: sorry, let's go!

We could try:

Jacob slowly opened the window, being careful not to make any noise. He had fully opened it and crawled in, then helped Fred get in, as he was too short to reach the window. As they walked through the lab, only a single closed door had any lighting coming from it.

And,

Jacob: Would you hurry up? I want to get my Pokémon already.
Fred: Sorry, let's go!

Or, if we want some more information:

Taking care to not make any noise, Jacob slowly slid the window open, looking over his shoulder in case anyone was watching. After the glass frame was pushed aside and the opening was clear, he bent his head down and crawled in, careful with his footing; the last thing he needed was to crash to the floor and cause a racket. Successfully crossing without making too much noise, he turned around and poked his head through the window. Jacob reached his hands out and helped the shorter boy reach the window. With his friend now accompanying him in the lab, the two began searching for doors that had any lights seeping from the cracks.

They only found one. Just one, shut tight.

And,

Jacob: Would you hurry up?

He huffed and stopped his foot, his short patience thinning by the seconds.

Jacob: I want to get my Pokémon already.

The shorter of the two gave a slight dip of his head in apology.

Fred: Sorry, let's go!

I'm not saying my example is perfect, but you get the idea. See how much more can be told and how much easier it is to understand? This is a general idea of what you should be aiming for, in my opinion.

A bit of description wouldn't hurt, but don’t become too overwhelmed with flowery language. A little goes a long way.

Also, the characters seem a bit bland; you might want to show a bit more personality via their actions and words. If you need any help with this, I’m more than glad to; characters are something I focus a lot on, and I wouldn’t mind to help develop them. :3

Also, try to avoid the generic journey fic plot. Add some twists to set it apart. There are a few threads concerning clichés and such that are related to journey fics, which can be helpful.

One more thing...don't call your work bad or good. Think of it as something with weak points and strengths, and learn how to work on them. Trust me, thinking that your work is good or bad can often influence most people, and these influences aren't always positive.

Anyways, that's all I really got. I hope it helped, because that’s what my intention is. I hope this didn’t come off as mean or stuck up, because that’s not what I want. I just want to help. :3

Wish you luck!

 

[Shymain]

Script format can be difficult to work with, especially if you're not an experienced writer. I mean, anyone can write in script format, but not everyone can do it well. I would recommend the third-person omnipotent perspective– basically, that's where you're a narrator who knows all and can tell all, as opposed to third-person limited, where you only know what the readers know– because the latter is more difficult than the first, and thus the first is a better choice for inexperienced authors.

Now, on to capitalization. You really need to work on capitals. At the beginning of each sentence, you should always put a capital, as well as at the beginning of a Proper Noun, e.g. Rowan, Paris, Atlantic in comparison to professor, city, ocean. A Pokemon's name DOES count as a name, so you should capitalize them as well. Just in case you don't know, a Proper Noun is a certain person, place or thing.

On the topic of Pokèmon-related things, they should all be capitalized, such as Pokèball, Pokedex, Pokècenter and Pokemart.

Now, for spelling, you should really use a spellchecker. It's worthwhile, and it catches annoying mistakes, so that grabbed doesn't become garbed, etc. Oh, and Glameow is spelled like that, not Glamemeow. Yes, I know if you listen to the name, that could be a phonetic spelling of it, but it's not the correct way to spell it.

On the topic of the plot, it's really very cliché, but has a few spins to it, I suppose. You might want to consider reading this, especially if you're continuing with the script format, as this was not done very well in that format.

Now to deal with run-on sentences. Sentences such as this:

the grunt then threw rowan at a desk 3 pokeballs that were on it rolled over towards the door behind the ground where Fred and Jacob where the grunt then send out his glamemeow.

Are incorrect and should be multiple sentences, like so:

The grunt then threw Rowan into a desk. Three Pokeballs that were on it rolled over towards the door behind the ground where Fred and Jacob were. The grunt then send out his Glameow.

Oh, yeah– unless a number is over twenty, I believe it is, you should always write it out in words.

Anyways, notice how different the second quote is? After the run-on sentences and capitalization errors are fixed, it becomes a really good fic, minus the description!

So, I'm really glad that another person's getting into writing, and I hope you don't take my crit too hard, I just like to be thorough.

Keep Writing!

-Shymain

EDIT: Damn you, TestTale, damn you! I hate ninja's! JK LOL.

 

[TestTales]

@Shymain

I'm a ninja now? :< Damn it, I wanted to be a pirate. XD

Haha, it's okay, you covered a few things better than me, plus I always doubt my advice as an immigrant child. It's good I have backup.

(My second post didn't show up for some reason... :<)

I'm a ninja now? Damn it, I wanted to be a pirate...XD

Haha, it's okay, you covered some things better than I did, and being the immigrant 14 year old I am, I always doubt my advice, so I'm glad I have you as backup.

Oh yeah, one more tip; never give up.

PS-It's TestTales, not TestTale. You can call me Tale for short, if you want.

 

[mew 2000]

I'm normally not a fan of script-based fanfic, because I find it very limiting and confusing, but if that's how you want to write, I'm not stopping you. I just personally prefer the usual way, because I find them more versatile and just find them more enjoyable to read. Just remember it’s up to you, and whatever style you write in, write to your best ability.

Anyways, my tips…

Remember basic grammar; capitals, apostrophes, commas and such, as it can be a bit confusing when you read. It's hard to understand because there's quite a few run off sentences, and punctuation is a bit neglected.

Example, instead of:

jacob slowly opened the window being careful not to make any noise he had fully opened it and crawled in he then helped Fred get in as he was to short to reach the window. As they walked through the lab only a single closed door had any lighting coming from it.

And,

Jacob: would you hurry up i want to get my pokemon already.
Fred: sorry, let's go!

We could try:

Jacob slowly opened the window, being careful not to make any noise. He had fully opened it and crawled in, then helped Fred get in, as he was too short to reach the window. As they walked through the lab, only a single closed door had any lighting coming from it.

And,

Jacob: Would you hurry up? I want to get my Pokémon already.
Fred: Sorry, let's go!

Or, if we want some more information:

Taking care to not make any noise, Jacob slowly slid the window open, looking over his shoulder in case anyone was watching. After the glass frame was pushed aside and the opening was clear, he bent his head down and crawled in, careful with his footing; the last thing he needed was to crash to the floor and cause a racket. Successfully crossing without making too much noise, he turned around and poked his head through the window. Jacob reached his hands out and helped the shorter boy reach the window. With his friend now accompanying him in the lab, the two began searching for doors that had any lights seeping from the cracks.

They only found one. Just one, shut tight.

And,

Jacob: Would you hurry up?

He huffed and stopped his foot, his short patience thinning by the seconds.

Jacob: I want to get my Pokémon already.

The shorter of the two gave a slight dip of his head in apology.

Fred: Sorry, let's go!

I'm not saying my example is perfect, but you get the idea. See how much more can be told and how much easier it is to understand? This is a general idea of what you should be aiming for, in my opinion.

A bit of description wouldn't hurt, but don’t become too overwhelmed with flowery language. A little goes a long way.

Also, the characters seem a bit bland; you might want to show a bit more personality via their actions and words. If you need any help with this, I’m more than glad to; characters are something I focus a lot on, and I wouldn’t mind to help develop them. :3

Also, try to avoid the generic journey fic plot. Add some twists to set it apart. There are a few threads concerning clichés and such that are related to journey fics, which can be helpful.

One more thing...don't call your work bad or good. Think of it as something with weak points and strengths, and learn how to work on them. Trust me, thinking that your work is good or bad can often influence most people, and these influences aren't always positive.

Anyways, that's all I really got. I hope it helped, because that’s what my intention is. I hope this didn’t come off as mean or stuck up, because that’s not what I want. I just want to help. :3

Wish you luck!

Thanks, yeah that's how i have written in the past with scirpt, but i'll change it in later chapters. Also thanks for the suggestions! If you could help me with future chapters i'd like that greatly.

Script format can be difficult to work with, especially if you're not an experienced writer. I mean, anyone can write in script format, but not everyone can do it well. I would recommend the third-person omnipotent perspective– basically, that's where you're a narrator who knows all and can tell all, as opposed to third-person limited, where you only know what the readers know– because the latter is more difficult than the first, and thus the first is a better choice for inexperienced authors.

Now, on to capitalization. You really need to work on capitals. At the beginning of each sentence, you should always put a capital, as well as at the beginning of a Proper Noun, e.g. Rowan, Paris, Atlantic in comparison to professor, city, ocean. A Pokemon's name DOES count as a name, so you should capitalize them as well. Just in case you don't know, a Proper Noun is a certain person, place or thing.

On the topic of Pokèmon-related things, they should all be capitalized, such as Pokèball, Pokedex, Pokècenter and Pokemart.

Now, for spelling, you should really use a spellchecker. It's worthwhile, and it catches annoying mistakes, so that grabbed doesn't become garbed, etc. Oh, and Glameow is spelled like that, not Glamemeow. Yes, I know if you listen to the name, that could be a phonetic spelling of it, but it's not the correct way to spell it.

On the topic of the plot, it's really very cliché, but has a few spins to it, I suppose. You might want to consider reading this, especially if you're continuing with the script format, as this was not done very well in that format.

Now to deal with run-on sentences. Sentences such as this:

Are incorrect and should be multiple sentences, like so:

Oh, yeah– unless a number is over twenty, I believe it is, you should always write it out in words.

Anyways, notice how different the second quote is? After the run-on sentences and capitalization errors are fixed, it becomes a really good fic, minus the description!

So, I'm really glad that another person's getting into writing, and I hope you don't take my crit too hard, I just like to be thorough.

Keep Writing!

-Shymain

EDIT: Damn you, TestTale, damn you! I hate ninja's! JK LOL.

Thanks for the suggestions and help. If you could help me on future chapters i would appreciate it.

Also its meant to be a unique story so it won't be straight forward like the games I'll try to add my own personal twists and character development.

Edit: Would either of you mind if i replace those sentences with what you wrote?

 

[Shymain]

Not at all. In fact, that would be a great idea, if OU want to, because it does change the quality of the fic. Of course, you van't really use both styles, so if you use what he wrote, you'll have to re-write the rest of the story to be like that. It's really up to you, but you have full permission to use my writing.

 

[mew 2000]

Edited to include more description removed script added more narration.

 

[Shymain]

I see a ton of mistakes here, but it's a heck of a lot better than before. Umm... It would take forever to post everything here, so I'll rather send a PM.

 

[TestTales]

Bah, late reply, but I'm here now!

It's better, but there's still some things that can be improved. I also don't want to write it all here, so if you want I can PM you about it.

I'm glad to help with your future chapters as well, just send me a PM if you want it, and we'll see what I can do for you. I'll definitely be able to help with characters, if anything. :3

As well as using my examples...um, I sort of would like to edit them a bit and know a bit more about the story before you do that, if you don't mind? >///<

Also, if you are going to use my examples, you'll need to match the rest of the story to it, so it may be difficult. I think it'd be easier for you if you used your own style, but you're free to use my examples...after I edit them a bit.

Just send me a PM and we'll discuss together. :3

 

[Shymain]

Bah, late reply, but I'm here now!

It's better, but there's still some things that can be improved. I also don't want to write it all here, so if you want I can PM you about it.

I'm glad to help with your future chapters as well, just send me a PM if you want it, and we'll see what I can do for you. I'll definitely be able to help with characters, if anything. :3

As well as using my examples...um, I sort of would like to edit them a bit and know a bit more about the story before you do that, if you don't mind? >///<

Also, if you are going to use my examples, you'll need to match the rest of the story to it, so it may be difficult. I think it'd be easier for you if you used your own style, but you're free to use my examples...after I edit them a bit.

Just send me a PM and we'll discuss together. :3

Lol, I covered that stuff and I've sent him a PM with a fully edited version of the chapter, and a request to check all of his chapters before he posts them.

 

[TestTales]

>///< My bad.

I'm glad you've got Shymain to help you, though, and I'm sure you'll do a better job than me at helping, anyways, Shymain. XD

 

[Shymain]

Well, I don't know about that– I can't say that I'm better than you because, one, it wouldn't be polite, and two, I don't know how good you are. But I can tell you that I have edited a book that is now published (but I doubt that you would be able to find it, and if you did, it wouldn't be the latest, edited, version).

 

[mew 2000]

i didn't get a a pm from you though >.>

 

[TestTales]

(From Shymain? If you mean me, it's because I didn't send one, as Shymain seems to have taken care of it. Also, Shymain, I'm sure you'd do better than an immigrant 14 year old. )

 

[Shymain]

Ah... Forgot the space in the name. Hang on...

 

[mew 2000]

thanks i edited it with what you wrote and gave you a thankyou in the beginning of the thread.

 

[Shymain]

Thanks a ton!!!

I'm always glad to help a new(ish) author– and experienced writers, too! I just LOVE doing stuff like that in my spare time, so it's really no problem.

 

[TestTales]

I'm also glad to help, if you ever need it. Keep writing on, and wish you luck! :3

 

[mew 2000]

A great thanks to shaymin http://www.serebiiforums.com/member.php?293762-Shymain

who helps me write this and reworded the chapter to be more crisp and organized

Chapter 1
The New Team Member
​

The two boys walked on leaving Sandgem town with their Pokemon in hand. A sign was ahead of them that read: 'Route 202'

Jacob grinned, feeling confident that he would become a Pokemon Master, and this was just his first step. Fred, however, was nervous, since he had rarely left town before. Turtwig picked up on his nervousness and pushed its head against Fred’s leg. Turtwig looked determinedly at Fred. Fred relaxed, knowing he had his new partner at his side.

“Thanks, Turtwig.” Fred said, starting to calm down.

Jacob had got ahead while Fred was talking to Turtwig, so Fred ran to catch up to him. He noticed Chimchar was in its Pokeball and not walking beside him as Turtwig was with him.

“Why do you have Chimchar inside its Pokeball? You should walk with him.” Fred said, wondering why Jacob didn’t have Chimchar out.

“I don’t need him right now. If a wild Pokemon attacks us, I’ll use him.” Jacob replied, almost devoid of emotion.

“But walking with them will make the bond with your Pokemon stronger.” Fred said, confused.

“We’ll bond through battle as well.” Jacob stated, gripping the Pokeball on his belt tightly.

They had reached the first patches of tall grass. Jacob knew wild Pokemon were lingering and waiting to attack. He took the ball off his belt and summoned Chimchar out of it.

“Now, let’s catch some Pokemon.” said Jacob, dashing into the grass with Chimchar's ball in hand. Fred tried to intercept him, but Jacob moved swiftly around him.

“We don’t have any Pokeballs to catch them with!” Fred shouted to his friend.

Jacob stopped in his tracks. In his rush to get started, he had forgotten to buy Pokeballs. He took out Chimchar's Ball and returned him to it. He walked out of the grass and started walking towards Sandgem town. Fred started to follow, but Jacob stopped him.

“I’ll get the Pokeballs for both of us. Just wait there.” Immediately after he said this, he turned and began walking into town. Fred sat down and played with Turtwig to pass the time. Jacob returned a few minutes later, 12 Pokeballs in his cradling arms.

“Here, six for each of us.” he said, handing the balls to his friend. He then took Chimchar out again and charged into the grass.

“Let’s try to catch some Pokemon! We’ll meet up in Jubilife when we’re done.” shouted Jacob to Fred as he ran into the grass, and eventually out of sight.

Fred walked into the tall grass and wandered around for a while. Strangely, no Pokemon seemed to be appearing. He was only a short distance away from Jubilife and still hadn’t seen Jacob. He assumed Jacob was done catching his Pokemon, and had gone ahead into town.

Not wanting to meet up with Jacob empty handed, Fred wandered around a little longer. The sun was setting now– but still there were no Pokemon to be found. Fred was tired and Turtwig had taken a seat on his head. Up ahead he saw a cage full of Pokemon. Next to the cage he saw a man in a black uniform, a woman in a blue uniform and a man in a red uniform. The man in black had a large red R on his chest, the woman had an A that looked like a skull-and-crossbones, and the final man had a M that was remniscient of a volcano. Fred spotted many more cages, all of them filled with Pokemon, except for one with a single Pokèmon– a Luxray.

The man in the black uniform began conversing with the other two.

“After so many failures, this time we’ll succeed.” The man in black said.

“I can’t believe we all choose to team up. It's just so weird!” The woman said.

“It’s even weirder for me to team up with you.” The man in red said to the woman.

Fred was confused. Who were these people, and why did they cage all these Pokemon? Suddenly a Shinx which seemed to be injured came out of the bushes, giving the man in black an angered look. It began charging towards the man.

“It’s the baby Pokemon! It must have gotten away when the mother shielded it!” The man in black said.

He waited until the Shinx was in his reach and kicked it. The Luxray let out a roar and bit the cage in an attempt to slice through it– but the bars were too strong for the Luxray to break. Turtwig could feel the Pokemon's anger and, likewise, became angry. Fred was furious.

“Turtwig, use Razor Leaf on the cage where Luxray bit it!” Fred commanded Turtwig.

Turtwig obeyed and sent out several sharp leaves at the cage where it had been chewed. The cage bars snapped and Luxray came out. The women in blue and the man in red quickly grabbed Luxray, holding it down. The man in black turned around, confused, then saw Fred.

“Kid, you just made a big mistake.” The man said, reaching for a pokeball.

“How dare you hurt that Shinx and steal these Pokemon!” Fred shouted angrily.

The man threw his pokemon into the air and a Zubat popped out. The man gave his Pokemon a command:

“Use Wing Attack!”

Turtwig was hit by the Zubat's wing and fell backwards, closing its eyes in pain. Fred became distressed upon seeing Turtwig hurt. He gave a command to Turtwig:

“Stand up and hit Zubat with a Tackle attack!”

Turtwig opened its eyes at once standing back up. It charged the Zubat but it flew into the air.

"Use Razor Leaf to hit it while it's in midair!" shouted Fred urgently to Turtwig.

Turtwig threw several sharp leaves at Zubat, but it flapped its wings, sending them back down. Turtwig was sliced all over it's body.

“Use leech life!” commanded the man wearing black.

Turtwig tried to dodge, but Zubat outsped him and got hit with Zubat's attack. Shinx stood up and angrily sent out a bolt of lightning which hit Zubat. The man turned around and picked up the Shinx by the throat.

“Why, you little...” growled the man angrily.

Fred had tears in his eyes from seeing the man’s brutality. Turtwig was too injured to stand. The Luxray became even more angered and shocked the man and woman holding it down, knocking them out. It then rushed at the man in black and bit his butt. The man let go of Shinx immediately and was thrown into the air by Luxray. Luxray was about to electrocute him, but Shinx stopped Luxray, tugging at its tail. Shinx let out a cry and Luxray calmed down. Luxray helped free the other Pokemon while the man in black fled.

“You’re a brave little Shinx. Thanks for saving my Turtwig.” Fred said with gratitude.

The Shinx licked Fred's face and he laughed. Luxray walked up to Fred, giving him a look as to say, “Thanks for saving my child.” Fred picked up on it and nodded. Shinx then pawed at Turtwig's Pokeball and looked up to Fred.

“Do you want to join my team, little guy?” Fred said quizzically.

Shinx let out a cry. Luxray looked at Fred and nodded, giving him approval to take the Shinx with him. Luxray then walked back to its other children and watched Fred and Shinx walk off. Halfway down the road he remembered he didn’t get to use a Pokeball. But before he could, Shinx had picked a ball off his belt and got into it. The ball then emitted a ding, and Shinx was officially Freds. Turtwig grinned at Fred and they walked into Jubilife. Jacob was by the trainer school, angry that he had to wait so long.

“What took you so long? There’s only three kinds of Pokemon on that route.” he said impatiently.

“Sorry, it’s a long story.” Fred said tiredly.

“Well, what did you catch?” Jacob asked.

“My new team member is Shinx.” Fred said happily, heading towards the Pokecenter. Jacob followed.

“Darn it, you got one with a type advantage to my pokemon, Starly.” He said with disappointment.

Fred grinned and went into the Pokecenter. Meanwhile, the man in red and the woman woke up. The Galactic grunt from earlier was there. The top of his hair was now completely gone.

“I thought your hair was crap before, but now...” The man said while trying to hold back his laughter.

“That doesn’t matter, what does is those kids.” replied the grunt ominously.

 

[Shymain]

Oh, now Jacob and Fred have balanced teams! That's good.

It's interesting that all of the teams are coming together... I wonder what they could be up to?