My seven year old brother's sprite comic

[shinz]

Hi. My little seven year old brother has just recently learned how to write and read. He decided to do a sprite comic about a pokemon trainer called Tommy. He asked me to make a thread for his comic. He has worked really hard so please try not to critisize him. And please don't report me for posting my little brothers work.

http://*******.com/jsc8xx.png
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http://*******.com/juz76g.png

 

[Pokefan26]

Grammar: Pretty good, but "I'll cool you Kip" is supposed to be "I'll call you Kip".
The backrounds are terrible, you can help your brother shade them.

Don't make excuses of your brother's age, experience, etc.

 

[shinz]

Grammar: Pretty good, but "I'll cool you Kip" is supposed to be "I'll call you Kip".
The backrounds are terrible, you can help your brother shade them.

Don't make excuses of your brother's age, experience, etc.

Well yes but he's only 7 remeber and I don't want him to stop doing his comics but i'll tell him to try and fix them

 

[absol attacker]

you can't tell us not to say anything negative just because the guy pulling your chain just learned his ABCs. if he can barely read, i don't think he can operate a computer or process all of our words. that aside, i find it a poor parody of the anime, complete with an "evil" duo of a spinless boy and a smart-mouthed girl. your brother needs to think outside of the box.

 

[castiboy]

at least it's not jpegfied or completely destroyed XD just let him the time to grow up and improve. take care of him and let him become a n00b or give up.
the story needs some work, it's very simple but it's normal, comics need a lot of thinking on the jokes and how thr story goes. good luck kid

 

[Jade]

This comic is one of the best I ever seen done by a seven-year olds. Seriously.

 

[Capt.Miko]

For a comic made by a 7-year old, this one is pretty good (never seen any 7-year old comic makers) But he needs to learn how to add his own twists into an otherwise standard plot based on the anime, and shade backgrounds

 

[Joe Vega #4]

Lesse... two tone backgrounds, changing clouds, and I bet Tommy sees Nick & Jamie across from him, a good sign being that Mudkip's tail is exposed, an there's no cover for the two. Also spelling errors. I don't care if you don't want crit for your brother, it's the way the world goes.

Overall, 3/10

Hey, 3's better than 0. Still bad, though.

EDIT: I also doubt that expression is glued right on Tommy's face? No open mouths either. Grade just dropped to a 2.5.

 

[castiboy]

Lesse... two tone backgrounds, changing clouds, and I bet Tommy sees Nick & Jamie across from him, a good sign being that Mudkip's tail is exposed, an there's no cover for the two. Also spelling errors. I don't care if you don't want crit for your brother, it's the way the world goes.

Overall, 3/10

Hey, 3's better than 0. Still bad, though.

EDIT: I also doubt that expression is glued right on Tommy's face? No open mouths either. Grade just dropped to a 2.5.

number rating has nothing to do with crit man. -_-; it's just a useless thing as it's relative, depends on the person.
but the other stuff is, i just wanted to point that.

 

[Joe Vega #4]

Okay. Please tell your brother not to use Paint to put on expressions like in comic three. It's just plain crap. The sprites don't look like they're supposed to. I didn't even get the third panel. She gets angry and flees just like that? Ugh, just tell your little brother to stop. He's not doing a good job. Instead of lowering the number rating, I'll say it sucks poot. Have a nice day

 

[Aviano]

yeah sure, your "brother made them"
Well tell your "brother" to start over and find some better backgrounds, the bright green from paint hurts my eyes @_@

This could use a better plot too, why would a witch just give someone a starter? why would 2 bad guys (frontier brains) want it? At least the anime explained why they want pikachu.

I'm not gonna lie to your "brother", This isn't a good start, I would just give up on these comics and make some new better ones

 

[Solid Kirby]

...

Really, If you know It's going to suck, don't use a scapegoat. ¬¬

Random suspitions aside, I'm going to Rape...er...HUG your "Brother's" comic. In a giant bear hug that'll cause the characters to spew out of it like a volcano. And it'll make a BIG mess. Oo;

Graphics: Edits are...Crap. I'm going to bring up the "You're neglecting 16777184 colors" note, here, because there ARE more colors than the 32 ish colors Paint uses at default. This also a good time to say that Janie's face in Panel three of Comic Three looks like somthing I would find If I happened to let a rabid Dog into a pet store full of cats. A Bloody mess. On the same subject, You clumsily resized the sprite. Image>Strech/skew>Intervals of 100 for resizing sprites. Simple. -.-;

Humor: A Kid says someone's pretty and they run off. Double You Tee Eff. Not Ell Oh Ell. Not Ar Oh Eff Ell. Not Ell Em Aye Oh. Double You Tee Eff. >_>

Story: A Kid gets a pokemon and two people try to steal it. Who does this remind me of? OH YEAH! TEAM ROCKET! IT'S OLD AND OVERUSED, AND I DON'T LIKE IT!

Grammar: If Grammar Natzees saw this comic, This comic'd be a ASCII based Holocaust. It's really THAT bad. Capitalize names (Including the Original Names of the Pokemon), punctuate, and make sure what the characters are saying make sence. >_>

Overall, this comic is bad. Tell your "Brother" to stop making comics until he actually LEARNS how to make them properly. I'm sorry, but This is bad. >_>

 

[castiboy]

okay... i have to dissagree with you DG in one thing even if i love your zelda comic and all, the kid MUST NOT stop, or he'll not improve. the most improtant thing is not to give up, and listen to what people say.

 

[Mega]

until he learns how to make them properly he said

 

[Mastercougar]

Let's take a looksee.

Since everyone else has already hit on the worst points, I'm gonna point out the best points.

He didn't save it as a JPEG. Thank you lord!

Similarly, there aren't any ugly "stray pixels" that would uglify this thing.

The MS paint standard colors have been used, but better than some would have used them. (But by all means, do start using custom colors!)

This is actually better than one would expect of a seven-year-old, really.

I know it's totally stupid for someone to whine "for pity sex", but you really do need to keep in mind the age of the comiker when reviewing. Obviously, he's not going to perform at our par, at least not immediately. But that doesn't mean he can't get there if he learns what to do.

 

[kinglerking]

the kid's got talent and he can improve by working hard on it. Keep it up Shinz'... little brother...dude

 

[castiboy]

until he learns how to make them properly he said

and how is he supposed to know if it's properly done if no one sees it other than his brother? duh.

 

[Neopolis]

Funny that this is better then most other comics made by older people XD

A few things, the plot is... Weird. An intro comic wouldn't hurt. The special effects are a bit weird too. I don't mind two-toned backgrounds, much.

For your age, nice job.

 

[Mega]

and how is he supposed to know if it's properly done if no one sees it other than his brother? duh.

We'll his brother can teach him duh.

Funny that this is better then most other comics made by older people XD

A few things, the plot is... Weird. An intro comic wouldn't hurt. The special effects are a bit weird too. I don't mind two-toned backgrounds, much.

For your age, nice job.

The kid shouldn't have used only battle sprites. It's better then some comics. Shinz you should have helped your brother more. It seems that there is no plot. You don't really need an intro . The special effects are scary. The backgrounds keep changing.

 

[absol attacker]

even though "your brother" has now started to add comedy, it's not getting better.

"okay, what did i just say?"
"something about spongebob, right?"

-.-;