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My Version Of Scream (R)

T

travis_and_chelsea

Guest
Here is the prologue

hope you like

It was a time when life was settled after a harsh experience as I was looking at the memories of the past. What is left now is yet to be told to you. I’m sorry to say this was not pretty. It happened in the crack of the year 2000. But that is my point of view. It really starts when I was two back in 1996.

A man who hadn’t shaved in a few months knocked on the door. He looked into my mom’s deep brown eyes.

“Mother,” he said. “You have to take me in.”

“I don’t even know you,” she said.

The rain got harder and the sky had gotten darker.

“Please,” he said.

My mother slammed the door and locked it. She came over to protect me and that is all for this point of view. Let’s go to when I had gotten involved.

RRRRRIIIIIINNNNNGGG my mother’s cell phone had gone off. She picked it up and answered it with her nice, general tone.

“Hi mommy,” he said. “It’s me. The one you refer as (He).”

My mom had hang up the phone and ran upstairs to the room and locked up the door. When she ran by the bathroom, a man had a clean butcher knife in his hands. He wore a black costume, boots, and gloves. He also wore a mask that had a mouth that hang wide.

She ran out of the room slamming the door in (His) face. She ran to my bedroom and pushed my bike in front of the door. She locked that door too. When (He) got out he ran to my door. He saw it was wood you could cut through. He cut around the door handle and opened it. He swung it open

“Now,” he said, “your turn to die.”

He came up close and stabbed her in the heart and threw her on my bed. He left the house not leaving a trace that he was even there.

Just as I got home I walked in with a huge smile.

“Mom,” I called.

I looked in the kitchen to make sure dinner wasn’t started but it was overcooking so I turned it off.

“Mom,” I said. “You left dinner cooking.”

I walked upstairs to my room with a quirky look. When I came in I saw my mom dead. All I did was scream!

…………………………………………………………….
 

Exel 4.0

Banned
It's not too bad. Properly use your commas and tweak your description. For example:
A man who hadn’t shaved in a few months knocked on the door. He looked into my mom’s deep brown eyes.
I don't know what this man is wearing, I don't know if he's black or white, I don't know what his hair color is, I just know that he has a beard. Same with the mother. Besides her eye color, I know nothing about her.
 
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