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N00by Adventures

rust

Moribund WarriorPoet
Rated 4 Stars! Yippee!

n00by Adventures
A Look At A Crazy, N00by World​

Enter J0hn, A Ten Year Old Boy who's as tall as an adult, graduated school, and has reached puberty. He's beginning his adventure in the Pokemon World...

Note: If the first three are unappealing Graphically, try 4, 5, and 6. They're much better. In which case, you do need to know what's going on:
Comics 1-3 Summary
[SPOIL]J0hn goes to Birch's Lab (With Oak Subbing Due to Birch's accident) and battles Lance, his conviently placed rival. His Rayquaza beats his Squirtle, so J0hn uses the all mighty Muffin which SelfDestructs on Rayquaza![/SPOIL]

Part 1: Beg1nn1ng The @dventure Being Redone
1: D@ M@dness Beg1ns...
2: P1ck1ng A P0kem0n
3: MUFF1N!

Part 2: R0x@nne's B@dge COMPLETED!
4: We1rdne$$ 0f R0ute 101
5: D0 N0t P@-$$ G0, D0 N0t C0llect 200 P!
6: D@ F1r$t B@ttle!
7: R@lt$1n'
8: TV'$ G00d 4 U
9: D@ 5t# J1m Le@der
10: D@ 10t# C0m1c $pec1@l
11: 0ver N0 R1ver and thru N0 W00d$
12: D@ B0@rdw@lk!
13: Ru$tb0r0
14: D@ J1m!
15: D@ J1m P@rt 2!

Part 3: C0ntest @nd t#3 3rd J1m NEW
16: C#@ng3 1z 1n D@ @1r!
17: V3rd@nturf P0k3C3nt3r!
18: 3ggee! [
19: P0w3r T0wn!
20: R3m@tc#! NEW
21: M33t Ur M@tc#! NEW
22: L1g#t @ M@tc#! NEW
23: 0b$$3$$0r (Coming 12/21/05)
24: 0b$$3$$10n (Coming 12/21/05)
25: 0v3r 0b$$1$$1v3 $1ndr0m3 (Part Finale on 12/22/05)

Part 4 Fl@nn3r33's #0t!
26: R0ut3 111!
27: D@ D3$3rt!
28: R3g1r0ck
29: D@ Ch01c3
30: D@ #1ll!

Other: $p3c1@l$
29.1: Z3 W1nt3r $0l$t1c3 (Coming Tomorrow)
29.2: @ V3ree n00by XM@$ (Coming 12/25/05)
29.3: n00by N3w Y3@r (Coming 1/1/06)
29.4: n00b3nt1n3'$ D@y (Coming 2/14/06)
29.5: @pr1l F00l$! (Coming 4/1/06)
29.6: 3v1l D@y (Coming 6/6/06)
29.7: 1nd3p3nd@nc3 D@y (Coming 7/4/06)
29.8: #@ll0w33n (Coming 10/31/06)
29.9: T#@nk$g1v1ng (Coming 11/23/06)

Hope Ya Like It!
-rust
 
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blueguy

used Metronome!
Pokefan26 said:
The battle scenes are terrible.

Pokefan, if you don't have anything constructive to say, don't say it all. Elaborate and explain WHY or your posts are useless.

The little intro paragraph immediately freaked me out! O_O I'm sorry, but - WHAT?

Sticking with black, Times New Roman text? Bad idea! Try a more smooth and cartoony font... Also, don't do text under panel. DON'T. It's unappealing. Try speechbubbles. Come ON. It'll take a few more minutes than normal, but hard work pays off.

As for the acutal words, you seem to capitalize at the wrong times... Capitalization is your friend, but hang out with her too much, and your writing looks like one big title.

The humor is at times difficult to grasp immediately... I liked the Po-Kwan-Do joke, however if this is to take place in Hoenn, I suggest you ONLY use Hoenn overworlds and locations. *refers to use of Oak and Lab* The panels were oddly placed in the second one. :S

You shouldn't use Lance... Make your own darned characters, and don't use those badly recolored pokéballs. *cringes* I choose Muffin. XD That was funny!

PWNBlast is absolutely horrendous. Try to make it like a sprite so that it'll match the game sprites, or simply take a battle effect from the real games. Again... panels are difficult to follow... A picture of a muffin is really bad... Again, sprite it or it'll look bad!

Lesson of the comics: you need some improvement, but I think you have it in you, if you gave some more effort.
 

kapslock

Well-Known Member
Even if your comics are random, at least put some effort into them! Speech bubbles would be nice, how about no badly done re colors hmm?
 

rust

Moribund WarriorPoet
blueguy: Thx. I appreciate your comment the most.

Sorry about the freakiness, I was just making fun of the anime with that... *Cough Ash is all that* The next comic is not going to be the same (I found all the menues!) and that was a geyser of blood, not the Attack.

I only have paint... Sry.

Comic 4 is up! Good Stuff and all!
 
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Pokefan26

Woot! SSB!
You can atleast try shading the attacks to make them look better.
 

rust

Moribund WarriorPoet
Pokefan26 said:
You can atleast try shading the attacks to make them look better.
Okay.

Comics 5 and 6 are up! :)

EDIT: Comic 7 is up and the titles for comics 8-10 are up too.
 
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blueguy

used Metronome!
Alright... you've done a busload of new comics, so it's time to review, and see if you've improved...

4) Remember... DON'T CAPITALIZE IN ODD PLACES! It looks, as I had said before, like one big title when you do. I still think that the muffin looks out of place, and is a bit too big... If you MUST use a real-life picture, try finding a smaller one. With the names in the battle (ex. Zigzagoon), you should match the colors to "Lv.", or else it's hard to read, looks wrong, and isn't how the game does it. >_< I thought that that would be obvious. How did Muffin evolve so soon? I'm beginning to think that this comic is a little TOO random.

5) You continue to capitalize in odd places! That's NOT good to do. I didn't really find this one funny... and I didn't get the ending... :/

6) More odd capitalization... >_< It's unrealistic for a little kid to have a beldum, and to be wearing a tube on a route with, I'm fairly certain, no water... And if he was a tuber, he should have a water pokémon... despite the fact that a tuber should NOT be on the route! I think you're really trying, but the humor just isn't doing anything for me.

7) Capitalization... what a surprise... I don't get this one, either.

8) Still badly capitalized... The joke really didn't do anything, yet again...

9) I'm sorry to say that this comic is getting more and more idiotic with each new half-assed edition... Still bad capitalization, the darn banana muffin takes up too much room, the body of the slaking is red? WTF? That looked two-dimensional and flat. It's also unrealistic that J0hn would defeat the fifth gym leader with a LVL 9.

10) ...

11) Skipping the entire forest was kind of lazy... You could have at least put something like "Later..." to indicate time had passed... If these people are muffin mean, why are there flowers everywhere, and why does one of them offer J0hn a wailmer pail? This is getting worse and worse and worse...

12) At least you've changed the names in battle... You didn't change the levels, however...

I'm overall, very disappointed.
 
T

Tai

Guest
All of these are rushed. They're still good, but you don't gice the reader enough time to grasp whats going on.
 

kapslock

Well-Known Member
All of these are rushed. They're still good, but you don't give the reader enough time to grasp whats going on.
You took the words right out of my mouth.Profanity, it burns! But really is it nessisary? I hope you improve.
 

Omega X

Im Solid Snaking it.
Man.... these "let's-just-annoy-him-bacause-he's-newbie" guys are making me sick. in fact, this fic is good for the same PokéChow is: having a good small laugh. Just PokéChow is funny for the overly sexual jokes, and stuff. N00by Adventures is funny because is godforsakenly random, and that is good. I may not be a comic expert like blueguy, but I know about waht is good fun and what is just plain boring. And this fits in the first category.

I hope you keep the N00by adventures up, rust.
 

blueguy

used Metronome!
Omega X said:
Man.... these "let's-just-annoy-him-bacause-he's-newbie" guys are making me sick. in fact, this fic is good for the same PokéChow is: having a good small laugh. Just PokéChow is funny for the overly sexual jokes, and stuff. N00by Adventures is funny because is godforsakenly random, and that is good. I may not be a comic expert like blueguy, but I know about waht is good fun and what is just plain boring. And this fits in the first category.

I hope you keep the N00by adventures up, rust.

That's certainly not where I'm coming from. I'm simply trying to help him to improve. It shouldn't make you sick. This isn't a "fic", either, it's a sprite comic... Are you trying to insult me, in your mentioning of PokéChow? Its jokes are not overly sexual; they're for a mature audience, and if you can't stomach it, you shouldn't (and certainly don't have to) read it. I'm not a comic expert, but I do know a thing or two, and I'll stick by what I have said in my reviews.
 

rust

Moribund WarriorPoet
Okay... Sorry about the odd capitalization... I made the next 3 comics a few hours ago, before you posted (And then I went to a XMas Party). Comic 16 should be better than all of these. Also, that's not Slaking, that's a pool of blood. I need a blood graphic... Badly.

Things to Work On:
Capitalization
Levels

Anyways, 14 and 15 should be good. They're guest starring Dr. Phil.

13-15 are up.

Omega X: I am so glad I have a fan! :)
 

blueguy

used Metronome!
I think you should really pace yourself... It's not required to update multiple times a day... I did this at the beginning of my "career" in Sprite Comics... I did the first four issues in one day... but trust me, it's better to work hard on an issue and then release it, than to rush.

I reccomend using a simple square border (use the square tool in paint) to surround each little panel or screen. It'll make it look a heckuva lot more appealing and organized.

I do like that, to fit in with your "n00b" theme, you've titled every comic using symbols... The wingull joke was amusing... What exactly was happening to Roxanne? o_O

>_< *random capitalization-ness* *levels are STILL bad* >_<

This comics is SO strange. O_O In some ways the randomness is good, and in others it's really bad... It's hard to explain... A little craziness is a good thing every now and then, but it is N00by Adventures' foundation, which isn't good.

OMFG! The levels are better! Thankies! You're still capitalizing, though. >_<

I still don't understand what the 'brown' surrounding Roxanne is...
 

rust

Moribund WarriorPoet
blueguy said:
I think you should really pace yourself... It's not required to update multiple times a day... I did this at the beginning of my "career" in Sprite Comics... I did the first four issues in one day... but trust me, it's better to work hard on an issue and then release it, than to rush.

I reccomend using a simple square border (use the square tool in paint) to surround each little panel or screen. It'll make it look a heckuva lot more appealing and organized.

I do like that, to fit in with your "n00b" theme, you've titled every comic using symbols... The wingull joke was amusing... What exactly was happening to Roxanne? o_O

>_< *random capitalization-ness* *levels are STILL bad* >_<

This comics is SO strange. O_O In some ways the randomness is good, and in others it's really bad... It's hard to explain... A little craziness is a good thing every now and then, but it is N00by Adventures' foundation, which isn't good.

OMFG! The levels are better! Thankies! You're still capitalizing, though. >_<

I still don't understand what the 'brown' surrounding Roxanne is...
Its a bag...

Okay! :) I still need to think of a plot for the next comic NEways, I had something in mind, then I read the "Harm" chapter of PokeChow >_<

Really sorry about the odd capitalization. I was doing something with it on a project and it became a habit for me, and now its really hard to type without capitalizing random words.
 

rust

Moribund WarriorPoet
Comics 17-20 are up! It took me about an hour for each. 19 is more plottish than funny though. 21-22 are coming tomorrow, 23-24 are coming 2 days from now, 25 in 3, and the first special on Christmas.

EDIT: 21-22 Up. Names of the next nine specials (First One TOMORROW, not on Christmas) and names of the comics up to 30 are up.

(The Specials take place after 29 if you're wondering. You'll see on Christmas Why).
 
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Cheez Puf

Just lurking.
*sorry for the bump*
Whoa. the randomness is hilarious.
But you might want to use original characters, though Lance is completely random, like everything else.
As Blueguy said, you might want to make a minor plot.
Can't wait for new episodes!
 
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