Sure got quiet in here quickly. Maybe people are thinking the same thing I'm thinking...
I tried NaNo before, and I failed it. Attempt #2, and I'm already having trouble and I'm getting reminded of why and how I flunked it before. Before, it seemed like a good idea to give it another try, and now I honestly don't think so.
Problem is, deep inside, I know this isn't the way I make a good story. In fact, half of me was asking why on earth I was getting involved with this whole thing again, but it's been a while and I didn't remember what caused the disaster in the first place, but now I can easily say I do. The time pressure just feels like I'm forcing myself to vomit up literary garbage rather than actually take the time to slowly and carefully think things over creatively and meretriciously in a way that my creative self is comfortable with. Rather than getting passionate about the story, the setting, the characters, the ideas, and letting it all flow like delicate, creative quicksilver when the time and place is right and when I'm most comfortable, I'm forcing and shoving the poor thing through rocky roads and extreme turbulence, and doing whatever it takes just to cram words down like I'm coughing up a literary hairball just for quantity's sake. Right now, the storyline, the plot, the setting, nothing really matters beyond meeting the daily requirement. I look back and see I've added paragraphs of useless filler garbage just so I was one or two hundred words closer to the daily expectation, but not doing that means not making the amount in time. Hate to say it, but if I really did pull this off, I still think I'd end up shaking my head in disbelief that I tortured and eviscerated the hell out of a good plot idea and painfully forced it out when it wasn't ready and needed more incubation. To me, that just feels like the 50K-worded waste of a good idea prematurely force-born and many lost November hours that I'll never get back.
I've started rereading things, and it's totally clear, this is definitely not my best work and I neither enjoy writing or reading it. Heck, it's writing torture, really. This is just an attempt to cram down 1,667 words on average per day for a whole month just to prove that haste really does make waste and to learn firsthand why quality is more important than quantity. Problem is, the way I see it, successfully completing a NaNo challenge doesn't prove you're a good author. Hate to say it... but it really doesn't prove anything. I wouldn't even bother to get this checked out by an editor, and I sure wouldn't bother to try and get it published either when I know I've got more important ideas that would vastly benefit from three or four months of comfortable writing as opposed to only one. Creativity is a fragile but beautiful thing, but to abuse it like this just seems like a sin and like I'm betraying the thing that gave me my writing talent to begin with.
Don't get me wrong, I like the intention of getting people spurred up to go out and write something. I just think there's a far better, far saner way to do it.