Let it be known that I have the worst updating frequency known to man. But alas, I finally have this story. The story you have been waiting for all this time. (Oh yeah, and I'll update my other fics soon... hopefully...)
NARUTO C!!!
(Naruto Comedy)
By MJC CartoGuy
©2006
This is the fourth story that I am putting on here (Eevee Adventure has actually been “cancelled”), and I am very excited about it! Well, I’m not going to make it as long as my first two fanfics, but I hope I can do well with this. Maybe this time I can work on three stories at once. I’ll try harder this time, hopefully...
Anyway, this story is rated PG for the same thing as the other fanfics- violence and phrases like “shut up” and whatnot, just to let you know. It occurs sometime during the second “dub season” of Naruto, and so until we get to those episodes, it may contain spoilers. Also, this storyline does not fit in with the actual series AT ALL. For the record but the Sannin and Sasuke’s brother Itachi will be in this story. If you want to avoid spoilers, maybe you should stop reading. (Then again, I haven’t even seen those episodes yet...) This is a comedy story, so don’t be surprised if you see people acting a little bit out of character. Not surprised? Good. Well, then you shouldn’t be surprised at this story because they’ll also act a lot out of character. Basically, I’m going to destroy the original personalities of every serious character on the show. Sasuke, Gaara, Kakashi, you name ‘em. There's a character guide coming soon, and I'm probably going to edit this first chapter later on, but...
Okay, let the comedy begin again!
EDIT: Apparently, we can't use any copyrighted songs, or something like that.
Once upon a time, there was a demon fox named Mr. Kyuubi. (Kyuubi is Japanese for "ninte tales".) Now, Mr. Kyuubi was a red nine-tailed fox that had a little anger problem. When Mr. Kyuubi was headed to a village one night known as Konoha, the Village Hidden in the Leaves, the people there could easily tell that Mr. Kyuubi had... issues. With a series of different attacks, he terrorized the area near the village by attacking it. Now this freaked out the people, causing some of them to scream and run around in circles. But, the village was chock-full of ninja, the superhero-like people of those times. The people tried to attack the fox by throwing stuff at it to try and keep it from getting closer. It didn’t work. Mr. Kyubbi was a very tall fellow, and, using his tails, he shattered mountains and sent tital waves crashing to the area’s shore. Due to the fact that the villagers liked there city the way it was before Mr. Kyuubi started ruining it, the ninjas were very sad. Mr. Kyuubi hurt people’s feelings by terrorizing them. Many people cried. Many people died. Many people cried as they died. Many people are reading this story right now and are either laughing at it or rolling their eyes at this sentence and groaning. Even though they were doing badly, the ninjas tried to do all they could to keep it from going into the village. After all, if Mr. Kyuubi made it there, then he would have a terrorizing field day. (Wait a minute... field night... as it was nighttime.)
Eventually, one ninja, or shinobi, actually had the guts to face Mr. Kyuubi like a man by facing him in mortal combat. He rode on Gama Bunta, which was a giant red toad with a dark blue jacket. Gama didn’t let anybody ride on him, and the person who rode on him was known as the Fourth Hokage. (The Hokage is the leader of Konoha.) He killed the fox with his uber powers. Yaaaay. Anyway, he did a little victory dance and decided to seal it somewhere. However, he couldn’t think of a place to seal it. He couldn’t think of any jars, boxes, cabinets, or suitcases to put the spirit in, so he decided to resort to sealing it within the belly of a newborn baby. And that’s where Naruto came in…
Yes, Naruto, the boy who eventually grew up and became a ninja, developed a crush on a girl named Sakura, had an intense rivalry with a punk named Sasuke, trained with a teacher named Kakashi, yadda yadda yadda.
Oh yeah, the Fourth Hokage then died from the whole sealing thing, so the Third Hokage had to come out of retirement and rule the land. But enough about that, let’s officially begin the story!!!
Chapter 1- “Is it a Bird? Is it a Plane? Is it a Shuriken? No, it’s Naruto!!!”
So, where was I? Oh yes, twelve years had passed since the Mr. Kyuubi incident. Anyway, Naruto had made plenty of friends, rivals, and enemies as he continued being a ninja. Being a ninja, he had to always be alert whenever he was doing one of those super special ninja missions of his, and he always had to expect the unexpected. But, he could never expect the events of this story… Anyway, it seemed like a rather peaceful morning in the land of Konoha. The great yellow sun slowly climbed his way up in the sky.
“They’re both late,” a black-haired boy in a blue jacket uttered. He was sitting on a brown bench that was near a pink-haired girl in red.
“I’m sure they’ll come soon,” the girl said as she was looking out into the distant horizon. The two of them were waiting in a park filled with green grass and trees (duh). The girl turned to the boy and said, “In the mean time, Sasuke, do you think we should… well, you know, train together while we wait for Kakashi?”
The boy, Sasuke (double duh) looked at the girl and then turned away. “No thanks,” he said. “I’d rather wait for Kakashi.”
“Do you think Naruto’s coming at all?”
“Sakura, we have a better chance of the fillers ending tomorrow than Naruto deciding not to come,” Sasuke pointed out. He sighed. “Hopefully Kakashi’ll come before Naruto, so we can get somewhere else by the time Naruto does come here.”
Sakura looked at him closely. “Are you sure you don’t want us to do something while we wait?” She blushed a little.
“Yeah,” he said. “I’m sure…”
Sakura sighed, but then she unsighed (it happens, right?) and asked him, “Hey, ya’ wanna look for Kakashi with me?”
Sasuke got up from the bench. “That might be the best idea.”
Sakura smiled.
Sasuke started walking up to Sakura, but five steps after he started watching, he heard “things” come out of the ground and felt them grab him. As he looked down, he noticed that two hands were sticking up out of the ground and grabbing his legs.
“What the-?” he said as the two arms pulled him under. “AAAAAARRRRGGGHH!”
“Sasuke!” Sakura screamed as she held her head in shock. Well, Sasuke wasn’t completely underneath the ground. His head was still sticking up.
“Drat,” yelled Sasuke. “This is the third time this week!”
Suddenly, a big figure broke and rose from the ground. (The figure didn’t break and then rise. He just broke the ground as he rose from it.) The figure brushed himself off as he stood behind the head of Sasuke.
“What up?” the figure said.
“Kakashi?!” Sakura said.
“Dang it, Kakashi!” Sasuke said. “Why do you have to keep doing that to me every time you’re late… which is every time?!?!”
“It’s fun,” Kakashi, the figure, said as he closed his eyes in happiness. (^v^) Kakashi wore a blue shirt and pants with a green, pocketed vest. He had spiky and jagged white hair on his head, which had a face that was covered by a dark blue mask that only showed his right eye.
“Kakashi-sensei,” cried Sakura, “how dare you do that to Sasuke! And how long have you been done under there?”
“Oh, about five minutes,” said Kakashi. “I was waiting for Naruto to come, but he didn’t show up yet, and so I got bored. That was when I decided to grab the legs of Mr. Uchiha here without him.”
“Mr. Uchiha?!” Sakura said.
“I’m sorry,” said Kakashi. “I couldn’t help but call you that, Sasuke. After all, you’re the only Uchiha left.”
“Five minutes?!” Sasuke cried. “But Sakura and I came to this spot twenty minutes ago! Where were you?!”
“Well, first I got lost on the path of life,” Kakashi explained. “Then a black cat crossed my path so I had to take the longer route to get here. While I did, a traveling salesman was selling some manga so I decided to buy Black Cat Vol.1 because of my experiences with the cat earlier. But then the black cat came back at ate the book, so I pouted a little, then remembered that you guys were waiting here and so I traveled farther to get here, though I got back lost on the path of life again.”
“That took twenty minutes?” said Sakura.
“Actually, it took two,” Kakashi pointed out. “It only took fifteen minutes for me to get here, anyway.”
“So what’d you do the other thirteen minutes?” Sasuke demanded.
“Patience, my friend,” said Kakashi. “Anyway, I got lost on the path of life, but then I decided to follow the yellow brick road and that’s how I ended up here.”
“But there isn’t a yellow brick road in the entire village,” mentioned Sasuke.
“Don’t ruin the mood,” Kakashi warned him as he looked down at Sasuke’s head.
“Ugh,” Sasuke said.
Then Kakashi looked up at Sakura. “Oh yeah,” he said. “Where’s Naruto?”
Sakura glared at him. “We don’t know!” she cried.
“Well I was hoping you would know,” said Kakashi. “I can’t start our training without him.”
“Maybe he died choking on some ramen noodles,” Sasuke said, grinning.
“Very funny,” Kakashi said, sarcastically. “Okay guys, if he’s not gonna come, then we’ve got to do something else. Unless you want to do something while we wait for him to come.”
“No thanks,” was Sasuke’s reply. “Can’t we just forget about him just this once?”
“Uh-uh,” said Kakashi. “Let’s play a game, Sasuke. I am thinking of a number between 1 and 10. What is that number?”
“Eleven,” Sasuke said, bored.
“AAAAAARRGGHH!” Kakashi screamed, jumping up and down. “THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A TRICK QUESTION! YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO FIGURE OUT THAT WAS MY REAL NUMBER!”
“Kakashi-sensei, you shouldn’t have lied about what type of number it was!” Sakura said.
Kakashi stopped jumping and looked at her. “Well sorry, but I couldn’t resist that either.”
“Hey, um, Kakashi,” said Sasuke, “can you get me out of the ground? I can’t exactly… move.
“Well I’d like to, Sasuke, but,” Kakashi replied as he pulled out a little pink book, “Make Out Paradise doesn’t read itself, you know.” He started reading the pink book, paying no attention to the Uchiha in the ground.
“But sensei,” said Sasuke, “I think there are bugs under here... and as a member of the great Uchiha clan, I’d like you to get me out of here!”
“Shut up,” said Kakashi, like an annoyed teenager. “I’m at the climax.
“But you’re at the beginning of the book!” Sakura said, noticing that the book seemed to be at the first page.
“Sakura… Kakashi… help me!” Sasuke screamed. “They’re… they’re crawling all over me. You got to get me out before one bites me and- AAAAAAAAH!”
He winced in pain as a big ant from underground bit him. Sakura screamed as Kakashi giggled a little while reading his book. More bugs began crawlind on Sasuke’s body.
“KAKAAAASHIIIII! HEEEEEELP!” Sasuke screamed. “They’re after me… AAAAAAUGH! It huuurts! AAAAAUGH! They’re all taking turns biting my Uchiha flesh! Hurry up and- AAAAAAAUGH!”
His head kept squirming and shaking as bug after bug gave him bite after bite. Sakura ran over to help Sasuke. She bent over and stretched out her hands to try and pull out his head, but right before he touched him, another bug crawled down in his shirt and bit his stomach.
“HAAAAAAAAAUGH!” He shouted as his eyes widened and his jaw dropped. Since Sakura was so close to Sasuke when his face jerkily moved to this bizarre expression she screamed and fell backward.
“GAAAAAAAAAAAH! THE PAAAAAAIIIN! IT HUUUUURTS!” Sasuke shriked in a high-pitched voice. “CAN THIS DAY POSSIBLY GET ANY WORSE?”
“Now you’ve done it,” Kakashi said as he finally removed his pink book from his face.
Suddenly, the little black cat that Kakashi mentioned earlier leaped out of some nearby bushes and landed on Sasuke’s head. “Oh geez,” Sasuke said. Suddenly, the cat started scratching and clawing at Sasuke’s face and hair. “Eyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” he cried. “GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!”
Kakashi stared at him and replied, “Sorry Sasuke, but I’m afraid I’d be next. What about you, Sakura?”
He looked at Sakura, but all he found was her unconscious body lying on the ground from the shock of Sasuke’s weird expression from earlier.
“Oh good grief,” he said, groaning.
“I don’t know what’s worse!” Sasuke cried. “The bug bites or the cat! EYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!”
The cat got in an anime dust cloud with Sasuke’s head while the bugs from underneath the ground continued biting him. Yes, folks, he was doomed. Finally though, the cat finished his scratching and clawing and let go of Sasuke. The cat took a few steps back and then- POOF! -disappeared in a puff of white smoke. The smoke rose for several seconds and then disappeared to reveal… (duh-duh-duh-duuuuuh)… the lively body of a 12-year-old blonde boy wearing a jacket that was mainly orange (with some blue on the top) and some orange pants. His hair, by the way, was spiky enough for you to pop a birthday balloon. This blue-eyed boy looked down at Sasuke and smiled widely.
Sasuke looked up at him and growled in anger. “NARU- GYAAAAAAAAH!- TO!? YOU WERE THE BLACK CAT?”
“Egad!” Kakashi cried out. “You were the black cat that held me up?”
The boy laughed. “Yup!” he said. Yeah, his name was Naruto Uzumaki. He is obviously the same Naruto this story is named after. Just saying. Yeah.
“But Naruto- OOOOW,” said Sasuke, “why in the world did you to this? And I’m an Uchiha, too!”
Naruto ignored his statement of being in the famous Uchiha clan and answered, “Aw, I just wanted to see if I could pull it off… and I did! Besides, it was worth seeing the look on your face. Actually, I wasn’t expecting you to be stuck in the ground. I was gonna attack you regardless of where you were.”
Kakashi sighed. “I should’ve known you did this just for kicks.”
Naruto laughed again. “And that’s another thing, sensei,” he mentioned. “I held you up back there because I was hoping I could reach Sasuke before you got here so I wouldn’t get in trouble. My original plan was to hold you up, come here, attack Sasuke, gloat, leave, and come back here transformed back into myself. But, uh, you came and all, so I figured I might as well showed myself.”
“Thanks to the yellow brick road,” Kakashi pointed out.
“THERE IS NO YELLOW BRICK ROAD!” Sasuke hollered. “EYAAAAAH! STOP BITING ME YOU STUPID BUGS! GAAAAAAH!”
“Anyway,” continued Naruto, “I also decided to de-transform in front of Sasuke here because he wouldn’t be able to get me. Isn’t that right, Sasuke?”
“Naruto…” said Sasuke, “…when I get out of here, I am going to- EYAAAAAH-"
“You’re going to EYAAAAAH me?” Naruto said.
“Naruto,” warned Kakashi, “as a ninja, you shouldn’t use your ninjutsu skills on your teammates instead of the enemies you face in battle.”
Naruto frowned. “But he is my enemy, sensei!” he stated, pointing at him.
“He is your ally,” Kakashi said, firmly. “Now listen to me. If you say one more thing about any of your teammates being enemies, I am going to rip Sasuke’s head off and shove it down your throat.”
Sasuke’s eyes widened. “Wait a minute… when did I give you permission to do that?”
“You guys are both idiots,” said Kakashi. “You’re incredibly strong, but you’re both idiots. And to think that the only smart one of the group is out cold.”
“What to you mean?” Naruto said, and then he turned around and noticed the fainted Sakura. “AAAAAAAH!” he cried as he saw her and fainted with her.
The sensei looked at the two unconscious preteens and then at Sasuke and said, “Well, Sasuke, it looks like it’s just you and me now.”
“KYAAAAAAAAAAH!” Sasuke screamed as another bug bit him.
Kakashi stared hard at him and then closed his book. “Or rather… you.” He then turned around and left.
Sasuke couldn’t see Kakashi because he was already in front of the sensei and never actually saw him. Kakashi walked away from the back of Sasuke’s head, and so the only people in his path were the unconscious Naruto and Sakura. Realizing that he was all alone (except for the bugs), he began to cry a little before- “EYOOOOOOOW!” –yeah, another bug badly bit the boy. (Ain’t alliteration awesome?)
Kakashi continued walking and thought, Man, my life is incredibly weird. Oh well, back to my book.
And with that, he continued reading…
So, what’ll happen next? Well, you’re going to find all about that in the next chapter! So, stay tuned for the next installment of… “Naruto C”!
Yeah. Like I said before, I'll edit this a little more. I'm also going to add a preview for the next chapter.
EDIT:
IN THE NEXT CHAPTER...
[SPOIL]Okay, so we saw Kakashi leaving Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto, but wait... why is he running back to them? And what's this? There's another person who's with them? Well, it's certainly a familliar "guy", if you know what I mean... heh heh heh...
NEXT TIME: Chapter 2- "Get Ready! Kakashi's Newest Goal!"
Vague, I know, but you'll find out what this is all about in the next chapter![/SPOIL]
NARUTO C!!!
(Naruto Comedy)
By MJC CartoGuy
©2006
This is the fourth story that I am putting on here (Eevee Adventure has actually been “cancelled”), and I am very excited about it! Well, I’m not going to make it as long as my first two fanfics, but I hope I can do well with this. Maybe this time I can work on three stories at once. I’ll try harder this time, hopefully...
Anyway, this story is rated PG for the same thing as the other fanfics- violence and phrases like “shut up” and whatnot, just to let you know. It occurs sometime during the second “dub season” of Naruto, and so until we get to those episodes, it may contain spoilers. Also, this storyline does not fit in with the actual series AT ALL. For the record but the Sannin and Sasuke’s brother Itachi will be in this story. If you want to avoid spoilers, maybe you should stop reading. (Then again, I haven’t even seen those episodes yet...) This is a comedy story, so don’t be surprised if you see people acting a little bit out of character. Not surprised? Good. Well, then you shouldn’t be surprised at this story because they’ll also act a lot out of character. Basically, I’m going to destroy the original personalities of every serious character on the show. Sasuke, Gaara, Kakashi, you name ‘em. There's a character guide coming soon, and I'm probably going to edit this first chapter later on, but...
Okay, let the comedy begin again!
EDIT: Apparently, we can't use any copyrighted songs, or something like that.
Once upon a time, there was a demon fox named Mr. Kyuubi. (Kyuubi is Japanese for "ninte tales".) Now, Mr. Kyuubi was a red nine-tailed fox that had a little anger problem. When Mr. Kyuubi was headed to a village one night known as Konoha, the Village Hidden in the Leaves, the people there could easily tell that Mr. Kyuubi had... issues. With a series of different attacks, he terrorized the area near the village by attacking it. Now this freaked out the people, causing some of them to scream and run around in circles. But, the village was chock-full of ninja, the superhero-like people of those times. The people tried to attack the fox by throwing stuff at it to try and keep it from getting closer. It didn’t work. Mr. Kyubbi was a very tall fellow, and, using his tails, he shattered mountains and sent tital waves crashing to the area’s shore. Due to the fact that the villagers liked there city the way it was before Mr. Kyuubi started ruining it, the ninjas were very sad. Mr. Kyuubi hurt people’s feelings by terrorizing them. Many people cried. Many people died. Many people cried as they died. Many people are reading this story right now and are either laughing at it or rolling their eyes at this sentence and groaning. Even though they were doing badly, the ninjas tried to do all they could to keep it from going into the village. After all, if Mr. Kyuubi made it there, then he would have a terrorizing field day. (Wait a minute... field night... as it was nighttime.)
Eventually, one ninja, or shinobi, actually had the guts to face Mr. Kyuubi like a man by facing him in mortal combat. He rode on Gama Bunta, which was a giant red toad with a dark blue jacket. Gama didn’t let anybody ride on him, and the person who rode on him was known as the Fourth Hokage. (The Hokage is the leader of Konoha.) He killed the fox with his uber powers. Yaaaay. Anyway, he did a little victory dance and decided to seal it somewhere. However, he couldn’t think of a place to seal it. He couldn’t think of any jars, boxes, cabinets, or suitcases to put the spirit in, so he decided to resort to sealing it within the belly of a newborn baby. And that’s where Naruto came in…
Yes, Naruto, the boy who eventually grew up and became a ninja, developed a crush on a girl named Sakura, had an intense rivalry with a punk named Sasuke, trained with a teacher named Kakashi, yadda yadda yadda.
Oh yeah, the Fourth Hokage then died from the whole sealing thing, so the Third Hokage had to come out of retirement and rule the land. But enough about that, let’s officially begin the story!!!
Chapter 1- “Is it a Bird? Is it a Plane? Is it a Shuriken? No, it’s Naruto!!!”
So, where was I? Oh yes, twelve years had passed since the Mr. Kyuubi incident. Anyway, Naruto had made plenty of friends, rivals, and enemies as he continued being a ninja. Being a ninja, he had to always be alert whenever he was doing one of those super special ninja missions of his, and he always had to expect the unexpected. But, he could never expect the events of this story… Anyway, it seemed like a rather peaceful morning in the land of Konoha. The great yellow sun slowly climbed his way up in the sky.
“They’re both late,” a black-haired boy in a blue jacket uttered. He was sitting on a brown bench that was near a pink-haired girl in red.
“I’m sure they’ll come soon,” the girl said as she was looking out into the distant horizon. The two of them were waiting in a park filled with green grass and trees (duh). The girl turned to the boy and said, “In the mean time, Sasuke, do you think we should… well, you know, train together while we wait for Kakashi?”
The boy, Sasuke (double duh) looked at the girl and then turned away. “No thanks,” he said. “I’d rather wait for Kakashi.”
“Do you think Naruto’s coming at all?”
“Sakura, we have a better chance of the fillers ending tomorrow than Naruto deciding not to come,” Sasuke pointed out. He sighed. “Hopefully Kakashi’ll come before Naruto, so we can get somewhere else by the time Naruto does come here.”
Sakura looked at him closely. “Are you sure you don’t want us to do something while we wait?” She blushed a little.
“Yeah,” he said. “I’m sure…”
Sakura sighed, but then she unsighed (it happens, right?) and asked him, “Hey, ya’ wanna look for Kakashi with me?”
Sasuke got up from the bench. “That might be the best idea.”
Sakura smiled.
Sasuke started walking up to Sakura, but five steps after he started watching, he heard “things” come out of the ground and felt them grab him. As he looked down, he noticed that two hands were sticking up out of the ground and grabbing his legs.
“What the-?” he said as the two arms pulled him under. “AAAAAARRRRGGGHH!”
“Sasuke!” Sakura screamed as she held her head in shock. Well, Sasuke wasn’t completely underneath the ground. His head was still sticking up.
“Drat,” yelled Sasuke. “This is the third time this week!”
Suddenly, a big figure broke and rose from the ground. (The figure didn’t break and then rise. He just broke the ground as he rose from it.) The figure brushed himself off as he stood behind the head of Sasuke.
“What up?” the figure said.
“Kakashi?!” Sakura said.
“Dang it, Kakashi!” Sasuke said. “Why do you have to keep doing that to me every time you’re late… which is every time?!?!”
“It’s fun,” Kakashi, the figure, said as he closed his eyes in happiness. (^v^) Kakashi wore a blue shirt and pants with a green, pocketed vest. He had spiky and jagged white hair on his head, which had a face that was covered by a dark blue mask that only showed his right eye.
“Kakashi-sensei,” cried Sakura, “how dare you do that to Sasuke! And how long have you been done under there?”
“Oh, about five minutes,” said Kakashi. “I was waiting for Naruto to come, but he didn’t show up yet, and so I got bored. That was when I decided to grab the legs of Mr. Uchiha here without him.”
“Mr. Uchiha?!” Sakura said.
“I’m sorry,” said Kakashi. “I couldn’t help but call you that, Sasuke. After all, you’re the only Uchiha left.”
“Five minutes?!” Sasuke cried. “But Sakura and I came to this spot twenty minutes ago! Where were you?!”
“Well, first I got lost on the path of life,” Kakashi explained. “Then a black cat crossed my path so I had to take the longer route to get here. While I did, a traveling salesman was selling some manga so I decided to buy Black Cat Vol.1 because of my experiences with the cat earlier. But then the black cat came back at ate the book, so I pouted a little, then remembered that you guys were waiting here and so I traveled farther to get here, though I got back lost on the path of life again.”
“That took twenty minutes?” said Sakura.
“Actually, it took two,” Kakashi pointed out. “It only took fifteen minutes for me to get here, anyway.”
“So what’d you do the other thirteen minutes?” Sasuke demanded.
“Patience, my friend,” said Kakashi. “Anyway, I got lost on the path of life, but then I decided to follow the yellow brick road and that’s how I ended up here.”
“But there isn’t a yellow brick road in the entire village,” mentioned Sasuke.
“Don’t ruin the mood,” Kakashi warned him as he looked down at Sasuke’s head.
“Ugh,” Sasuke said.
Then Kakashi looked up at Sakura. “Oh yeah,” he said. “Where’s Naruto?”
Sakura glared at him. “We don’t know!” she cried.
“Well I was hoping you would know,” said Kakashi. “I can’t start our training without him.”
“Maybe he died choking on some ramen noodles,” Sasuke said, grinning.
“Very funny,” Kakashi said, sarcastically. “Okay guys, if he’s not gonna come, then we’ve got to do something else. Unless you want to do something while we wait for him to come.”
“No thanks,” was Sasuke’s reply. “Can’t we just forget about him just this once?”
“Uh-uh,” said Kakashi. “Let’s play a game, Sasuke. I am thinking of a number between 1 and 10. What is that number?”
“Eleven,” Sasuke said, bored.
“AAAAAARRGGHH!” Kakashi screamed, jumping up and down. “THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A TRICK QUESTION! YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO FIGURE OUT THAT WAS MY REAL NUMBER!”
“Kakashi-sensei, you shouldn’t have lied about what type of number it was!” Sakura said.
Kakashi stopped jumping and looked at her. “Well sorry, but I couldn’t resist that either.”
“Hey, um, Kakashi,” said Sasuke, “can you get me out of the ground? I can’t exactly… move.
“Well I’d like to, Sasuke, but,” Kakashi replied as he pulled out a little pink book, “Make Out Paradise doesn’t read itself, you know.” He started reading the pink book, paying no attention to the Uchiha in the ground.
“But sensei,” said Sasuke, “I think there are bugs under here... and as a member of the great Uchiha clan, I’d like you to get me out of here!”
“Shut up,” said Kakashi, like an annoyed teenager. “I’m at the climax.
“But you’re at the beginning of the book!” Sakura said, noticing that the book seemed to be at the first page.
“Sakura… Kakashi… help me!” Sasuke screamed. “They’re… they’re crawling all over me. You got to get me out before one bites me and- AAAAAAAAH!”
He winced in pain as a big ant from underground bit him. Sakura screamed as Kakashi giggled a little while reading his book. More bugs began crawlind on Sasuke’s body.
“KAKAAAASHIIIII! HEEEEEELP!” Sasuke screamed. “They’re after me… AAAAAAUGH! It huuurts! AAAAAUGH! They’re all taking turns biting my Uchiha flesh! Hurry up and- AAAAAAAUGH!”
His head kept squirming and shaking as bug after bug gave him bite after bite. Sakura ran over to help Sasuke. She bent over and stretched out her hands to try and pull out his head, but right before he touched him, another bug crawled down in his shirt and bit his stomach.
“HAAAAAAAAAUGH!” He shouted as his eyes widened and his jaw dropped. Since Sakura was so close to Sasuke when his face jerkily moved to this bizarre expression she screamed and fell backward.
“GAAAAAAAAAAAH! THE PAAAAAAIIIN! IT HUUUUURTS!” Sasuke shriked in a high-pitched voice. “CAN THIS DAY POSSIBLY GET ANY WORSE?”
“Now you’ve done it,” Kakashi said as he finally removed his pink book from his face.
Suddenly, the little black cat that Kakashi mentioned earlier leaped out of some nearby bushes and landed on Sasuke’s head. “Oh geez,” Sasuke said. Suddenly, the cat started scratching and clawing at Sasuke’s face and hair. “Eyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” he cried. “GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!”
Kakashi stared at him and replied, “Sorry Sasuke, but I’m afraid I’d be next. What about you, Sakura?”
He looked at Sakura, but all he found was her unconscious body lying on the ground from the shock of Sasuke’s weird expression from earlier.
“Oh good grief,” he said, groaning.
“I don’t know what’s worse!” Sasuke cried. “The bug bites or the cat! EYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!”
The cat got in an anime dust cloud with Sasuke’s head while the bugs from underneath the ground continued biting him. Yes, folks, he was doomed. Finally though, the cat finished his scratching and clawing and let go of Sasuke. The cat took a few steps back and then- POOF! -disappeared in a puff of white smoke. The smoke rose for several seconds and then disappeared to reveal… (duh-duh-duh-duuuuuh)… the lively body of a 12-year-old blonde boy wearing a jacket that was mainly orange (with some blue on the top) and some orange pants. His hair, by the way, was spiky enough for you to pop a birthday balloon. This blue-eyed boy looked down at Sasuke and smiled widely.
Sasuke looked up at him and growled in anger. “NARU- GYAAAAAAAAH!- TO!? YOU WERE THE BLACK CAT?”
“Egad!” Kakashi cried out. “You were the black cat that held me up?”
The boy laughed. “Yup!” he said. Yeah, his name was Naruto Uzumaki. He is obviously the same Naruto this story is named after. Just saying. Yeah.
“But Naruto- OOOOW,” said Sasuke, “why in the world did you to this? And I’m an Uchiha, too!”
Naruto ignored his statement of being in the famous Uchiha clan and answered, “Aw, I just wanted to see if I could pull it off… and I did! Besides, it was worth seeing the look on your face. Actually, I wasn’t expecting you to be stuck in the ground. I was gonna attack you regardless of where you were.”
Kakashi sighed. “I should’ve known you did this just for kicks.”
Naruto laughed again. “And that’s another thing, sensei,” he mentioned. “I held you up back there because I was hoping I could reach Sasuke before you got here so I wouldn’t get in trouble. My original plan was to hold you up, come here, attack Sasuke, gloat, leave, and come back here transformed back into myself. But, uh, you came and all, so I figured I might as well showed myself.”
“Thanks to the yellow brick road,” Kakashi pointed out.
“THERE IS NO YELLOW BRICK ROAD!” Sasuke hollered. “EYAAAAAH! STOP BITING ME YOU STUPID BUGS! GAAAAAAH!”
“Anyway,” continued Naruto, “I also decided to de-transform in front of Sasuke here because he wouldn’t be able to get me. Isn’t that right, Sasuke?”
“Naruto…” said Sasuke, “…when I get out of here, I am going to- EYAAAAAH-"
“You’re going to EYAAAAAH me?” Naruto said.
“Naruto,” warned Kakashi, “as a ninja, you shouldn’t use your ninjutsu skills on your teammates instead of the enemies you face in battle.”
Naruto frowned. “But he is my enemy, sensei!” he stated, pointing at him.
“He is your ally,” Kakashi said, firmly. “Now listen to me. If you say one more thing about any of your teammates being enemies, I am going to rip Sasuke’s head off and shove it down your throat.”
Sasuke’s eyes widened. “Wait a minute… when did I give you permission to do that?”
“You guys are both idiots,” said Kakashi. “You’re incredibly strong, but you’re both idiots. And to think that the only smart one of the group is out cold.”
“What to you mean?” Naruto said, and then he turned around and noticed the fainted Sakura. “AAAAAAAH!” he cried as he saw her and fainted with her.
The sensei looked at the two unconscious preteens and then at Sasuke and said, “Well, Sasuke, it looks like it’s just you and me now.”
“KYAAAAAAAAAAH!” Sasuke screamed as another bug bit him.
Kakashi stared hard at him and then closed his book. “Or rather… you.” He then turned around and left.
Sasuke couldn’t see Kakashi because he was already in front of the sensei and never actually saw him. Kakashi walked away from the back of Sasuke’s head, and so the only people in his path were the unconscious Naruto and Sakura. Realizing that he was all alone (except for the bugs), he began to cry a little before- “EYOOOOOOOW!” –yeah, another bug badly bit the boy. (Ain’t alliteration awesome?)
Kakashi continued walking and thought, Man, my life is incredibly weird. Oh well, back to my book.
And with that, he continued reading…
So, what’ll happen next? Well, you’re going to find all about that in the next chapter! So, stay tuned for the next installment of… “Naruto C”!
Yeah. Like I said before, I'll edit this a little more. I'm also going to add a preview for the next chapter.
EDIT:
IN THE NEXT CHAPTER...
[SPOIL]Okay, so we saw Kakashi leaving Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto, but wait... why is he running back to them? And what's this? There's another person who's with them? Well, it's certainly a familliar "guy", if you know what I mean... heh heh heh...
NEXT TIME: Chapter 2- "Get Ready! Kakashi's Newest Goal!"
Vague, I know, but you'll find out what this is all about in the next chapter![/SPOIL]
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