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Nightfall

dash142

Beginning Trainer
Ok time for a review.. or two actually.

I noticed a lot of grammar/spelling? mistakes in chapter 3 back when it first came out, but when I reread it just now I noticed you fixed them already. I thought the battle at the end there was a tad confusing at times. But over all it was good.

Chapter Four
This chapter was much better, and I don't think I saw many grammar errors, if there even were any actually... The battle was written better, and I didn't get confused at all, and good character development as well. This was probably one of the best chapters so far... but then again there are only 4 so ha ha yeah.
 

Manaphyman

Up all night
dash- Glad you liked it! Chapter 3 was corrected as people sent me PMs and I noticed some mistakes. Chapter 4 was betaed by BA and myself, to check for mistakes. Glad you like the character development, there is plenty of it on the way!
 

niedude

Don't forget to grin
Ha, MUCH MUCH better. This was what I came to expect from you! Great to see you delivered it!

Even grammar, your archenemy, was near flawless. I saw a total of three typos, and the only one I remember was "breach" instead of beach when you were introducing it (a little confusing, but you probably just pressed the R and the E simultaneously, happens to me a lot).


Description was very well done, not too little, not too much. I myself would have never been able to write as good a flight fight scene, and even after reading it I dont think I could improve it. Well, maybe the part with the grey hawk being unfezant, since I consider Unfeazent to be a mixture of a pidgeon and a turkey, but still. Very enjoyable.


I am very happy to see Meghan's "new character." Last chapter I just saw her as being a hot piece of *** with a bossy attitude, and that irritated me a bit. Now, though, she was very well done. Especially the part where she broke down in tears due to her terrible past. It is very hard to make a girl/love interest cry without making them look like a helpless example of The Chick trope, and you handled it quite well.

Zazu is awesome. baby pidgey! Pidgeotto is one of my favourite birds, particularly due to Ash's pidgeotto, so I can't wait for one in this fic xP


Good luck with chapter 5, and keep the bar at this height ^^
 

Manaphyman

Up all night
Ha, MUCH MUCH better. This was what I came to expect from you! Great to see you delivered it!

Even grammar, your archenemy, was near flawless. I saw a total of three typos, and the only one I remember was "breach" instead of beach when you were introducing it (a little confusing, but you probably just pressed the R and the E simultaneously, happens to me a lot).


Description was very well done, not too little, not too much. I myself would have never been able to write as good a flight fight scene, and even after reading it I dont think I could improve it. Well, maybe the part with the grey hawk being unfezant, since I consider Unfeazent to be a mixture of a pidgeon and a turkey, but still. Very enjoyable.


I am very happy to see Meghan's "new character." Last chapter I just saw her as being a hot piece of *** with a bossy attitude, and that irritated me a bit. Now, though, she was very well done. Especially the part where she broke down in tears due to her terrible past. It is very hard to make a girl/love interest cry without making them look like a helpless example of The Chick trope, and you handled it quite well.

Zazu is awesome. baby pidgey! Pidgeotto is one of my favourite birds, particularly due to Ash's pidgeotto, so I can't wait for one in this fic xP


Good luck with chapter 5, and keep the bar at this height ^^

Thank you! I took your comments to heart and tried really hard to work on the specific things you had mentioned. I'm a big fan of Zazu, so I'm glad to hear all the love.

Meghan's character still has a lot of developing to do, so hopefully, you'll appreciate her character even more when she "comes into her own" so to speak. Glad you liked the chapter Nie! I appreciate the comments, as always.
 

harryheart

Well-Known Member
Chapter 4

This was a great fully fleshed chapter I felt. You really had plot, pacing and setting in mind here, especially because the scense were quite action packed and eventful and on the go which meant you had to keep on top of it all and not let it drag out for unnecessary lengths of time, and it certainly appears that you managed that feat very well. I also especially loved the character development intertwinned with the plot here, and not just the human character development and growth most notably (I felt) in the form of Meghan, but also the Pokemon's developments such as Zuzu, and Bilbo (mildly) and also Luna who really seems to have accomplished quite a lot in this battle. It seemed like a hard feat for her but she's acheived it. Also must say great choice of Pokemon for Meghan, a Ledian was really quite an internesting twist and I quite like her interaction with Gliscor as well. The duo seem to pack quite a force as well and can take on some tough challenges so that sounds like Meghans had a rather interesting history as well, although that's just info I've deduced from the power shown by her Pokemon. Anyway great chapter overal! I saw no spelling or grammar mistakes and eveyrthing was kept fresh and interesting! Well done!

*ramble over - you can relax and breath*
 

Manaphyman

Up all night
Chapter 4

This was a great fully fleshed chapter I felt. You really had plot, pacing and setting in mind here, especially because the scense were quite action packed and eventful and on the go which meant you had to keep on top of it all and not let it drag out for unnecessary lengths of time, and it certainly appears that you managed that feat very well. I also especially loved the character development intertwinned with the plot here, and not just the human character development and growth most notably (I felt) in the form of Meghan, but also the Pokemon's developments such as Zuzu, and Bilbo (mildly) and also Luna who really seems to have accomplished quite a lot in this battle. It seemed like a hard feat for her but she's acheived it. Also must say great choice of Pokemon for Meghan, a Ledian was really quite an internesting twist and I quite like her interaction with Gliscor as well. The duo seem to pack quite a force as well and can take on some tough challenges so that sounds like Meghans had a rather interesting history as well, although that's just info I've deduced from the power shown by her Pokemon. Anyway great chapter overal! I saw no spelling or grammar mistakes and eveyrthing was kept fresh and interesting! Well done!

*ramble over - you can relax and breath*

Why thank you sir. I've tried very hard to develop my characters (Pokemon included) as much as possible. I mean a story is only as good as its plot and its characters. I'm glad to hear that I'm succeeding!

Chapter 3 was a big chapter for introductions...without spoiling too much, I can tell you that with the exception of some added Pokemon, our character list is close to being finalized. I know for one thing that Meghan and Gabe could really use some developing, and the dynamic of their friendship is something I'm focusing on next chapter. Thanks again for the review.

And to all, sorry about the long wait for the next chapter! Its being revised now, college just takes up so much time. And this year is much more work intensive than the last. I'm hoping to finish the chapter and have it out on Columbus Day weekend.
 
I noticed a few grammatical errors.

Chapter Three said:
her low cut shirt giving John got a quick glimpse of cleavage.

Omit the "got".

Chapter Three said:
“Are you looking at my girlfriend’s boobs?” John faked jealousy.

Bolded part sounds wrong.

Chapter Three said:
Mike said, interrupting his train of though

Thought.

Chapter Three said:
He was responsible to more important people then him.

Than.

Chapter Three said:
You and two others, (that we will choose), will be tasked with scouting out the area before the army moves forward.

Any reason why there are parentheses?

Chapter Three said:
They understand that, should the fail, the consequences would be… severe .”

They.

Chapter Three said:
Gabe felt the same way, as when the Colonel introduced her two the boys,

To.

Chapter Three said:
John could have sworn he was something moving near the house,

Saw.

Chapter Three said:
Be tripped this time, over what he thought was a root,

He.

Chapter Four said:
The two were equal in height, both in pajamas, and he was only five years old then John,

Older than.


Meghan looks like the typical girl everyone crushes on, but what's intriguing about her is her vulnerability, especially in how the Blackthorn bombing affects her emotionally, and it's even more intriguing considering that she masks it with her assertiveness and self-confidence. It's that vulnerability that makes characters of war-centric pieces really interesting IMO, and you handle it well here so good job!

I preferred Chapter Four over Chapter Three, partially because the battle scene in the former was handled much better than the latter. I thought the Mismagius battle was kinda confusing to follow, but the Birds battle was worded really good.

The first scene in Chapter Four is also really interesting, and how it was used in a later scene was good. I assume George is a character from the prequel?

Overall really good stuff so far. I'm looking forward to the next chapters. =)
 

Manaphyman

Up all night
Hello everybody!

The new chapter has been completed. I'm having a problem though...all of my betas have pulled out. I need a permanent beta in order to continue, does anyone want to help me out? All I need is a grammar check, and a bit of character advice. In return, you get my undying friendship and gratitude, as well as an early look at the chapter and spoilers.
 

Manaphyman

Up all night
First and foremost, thank you Treecko's awesomeness (TA, for short) for an amazing beta. For his first time, he did an awesome job, not only correcting my grammar mistakes but also walking me through what I did wrong. There may still be some in there, but I think between the two of us, we got them.


Chapter 5: Don’t Pressure Us

“AND ALL THESE DEMONS, THEY KEEP ME UP ALLLLLL NIGHT!”

<Make it stop, make it stop! > Moaned a medium sized green spider, its eight legs wobbling and many eyes wincing in pain.

“I don’t think he can hear you,” chuckled its trainer, a fit man dressed far too nicely to be out in the woods.

“John?” he asked. No answer. Instead the boy next to him, who, even at the age of sixteen was at least a foot taller than him, burst into an air guitar solo that made his starter Pokémon shy away in embarrassment.

<I’ll handle this,> said the Espeon resolutely, as she trotted in front of the oblivious boy. He fell, hard, tripping over his best friend, Violet.

After stumbling (and falling) on some roots, he ripped the earphones out of his ears and stopped singing.

“I’d ask what that was for, but yeah…” he shrugged, embarrassed. His gaze met Rich’s, who was clearly attempting to hold back laughter. Violet however, wasn’t as polite, and was cackling louder than he had been singing.

He contemplated looking away, but decided to save face, instead moving the sunglasses from their perch on the rim of his hat to his eyes. At least he looked like a badass.

The sun was bright, and still lukewarm, the weather around them clinging to the last bit of Indian summer. The leaves in this part of Johto were slower to change, and as such, the brilliant hues of red and orange were replaced with fading green and emerging yellow. The breeze was abundant, tousling the boy’s hair and moderating the temperature. The sky, or what they could see of it, was a majestic blue.

As they continued along in the forests of Route 32, they traveled in silence. It had been three weeks of confinement in Violet City, during which John had been a very vocal companion. The attack by the Confederation of Galactic Governments (as they had since been calling themselves) had scared the militia leaders, so much so that they had stayed in Violet for some time to both regroup and handle their fear.

The clincher came yesterday, when Richard Jordan had dropped the bomb that the “core three” of John, Gabe, and Meghan, would not be able to travel together on this scouting mission, and instead, they would be dividing into pairs. John was also dismayed to hear that Falkner would be leading the militia to their rendezvous point at Union Cave, and that he would have to travel with Rich, who he had badmouthed nearly the entire three weeks.

<You know, it wouldn’t be this awkward if you hadn’t gone on that tirade last week, > Violet half lectured, half laughed.

“I didn’t know he was there,” John muttered, “and besides, I didn’t say anything that bad.”

<You called him an idiotic penis-muncher who wouldn’t know Pokémon if a Tyrannitar sat on him, > she couldn’t contain her laughter.

“Oh, well that,” he smiled.

<I agree with John, he is a bit of a penis-muncher, > Luna chirped from her spot a few inches over John’s shoulder.

John burst out laughing, “Do you even know what that means?” he said.

<Sure I do! Penis is a kind of…fruit! In fact you could find them here on Route 32, thank you very much! > The Hoothoot’s voice got higher as she tried to defend herself.

<Penis!> Bilbo cried from his spot. He was riding inside John’s backpack, his legs and tail inside while his tiny arms and enormous jaw were comfortably out in the fresh air.

<Great, the damn Totodile learned a new word, > said Jordan’s Spinarak, who had dropped back to talk with the dysfunctional group.

“What’s going on back there?” Jordan called as he forced his way past a thorn bush and into a clearing. They had been travelling down Stantler paths for a while now, and needed an opening to see where they were.

“Nothing!” John called back as he made his way towards the thorn bushes. He glared at Legs, as he lifted his leg up threateningly.

< I didn’t hear anything, > the Spinarak muttered.

“Come ‘ere Violet,” he said, lifting her up so that she would avoid the menacing bush, adding, “my God, you’re heavy.”

<Shut up you, > she laughed, whipping her tail at him playfully as he lifted her over and placed her on the ground.

“You seem to be in a good mood today,” he smiled, lifting one leg over the side of the bush.

“Fuck” he winced in pain.

<I’m just happy that she-beast isn’t here today, > Violet smiled in return as John successfully made it through.

“Meghan is not that bad!” he said defensively.

<I meant her Gliscor, > Violet again laughed. < Say what you want about his battle skills, but he’s a keeper, that’s for sure, > she thought. <But wait until she hears that her boy was calling her names, > she winked.

“I AM NOT HER BOY!” he roared, his mind focused on the conversation, his body now focused on climbing an increasingly steep rocky outcropping.

<You’re right, you’re mine, > she smirked.

“Damn straight,” he laughed, cresting the top of the massive rock. The loose nature of the outcropping had complicated their climb, but surprisingly, the often-klutzy John did not have an incident.

“There,” Jordan breathed, pointing towards a medium sized mountain in the distance. It was completely exposed; looking like a dormant volcano- there was no vegetation, no snow, just rocks. It looked very unforgiving.

“We aren’t climbing that thing, are we?” John nervously asked. There was still some obvious tension between the two.

“No,” Jordan started condescendingly at first, but then changed his tone, “well, not exactly. We have two options, go around it, or go under it. That’s Union Mountain, and we could theoretically go through Union Cave…” he trailed off.

“But?” John asked, sensing the hesitation in his voice.

“Well we have a lot of people with us, and that cave is very cramped. So the only other alternative is to take the road around the mountain, which is dangerous. It’s close to the ocean and pretty narrow, so going will be slow,” he explained.

<So you’re worried about Galactic picking us off if we have to travel so slowly? > Violet asked, genuine concern in her voice.

“Well…to be honest, yes,” Jordan responded soberly.

“We’ll just have to be diligent,” John said, “Set out patrols and scouts and whatnot. Old Violet and I can handle anything,” he winked at his Espeon.

<Who are you calling old? > She growled in response, playfully scratching at him.

John scanned the horizon; a lush forest cut in half by a winding road led to the jagged Union Mountain. Just on the edge of the horizon, there was the beginnings of a pier, and a faint reflection of sunlight across the water. He turned west now, the forest continuing all the way up to a large building that served as a gate. Past that, he saw what appeared to be dilapidated sandstone and limestone structures attached to very unstable looking caves. They were scattered about haphazardly, and there seemed to be flood ponds breaking up the structures.

“Whats that?” he asked, pointing to the ruins.

“Oh, that?” Jordan paused, “Those are just the Ruins of Alph. They contain Unown, you know, like the ruins in the Seviis? Although these ones…they’re special.”

“Special how?” John asked.

“Nothing that you need to concern yourself with,” Jordan said, coming off as condescending, but attempting to be comforting, “besides,” he added, “you need to worry about your love life. I see what’s going on between you and Meghan.”

He blushed furiously, “it’s nothing. Honestly. I know she likes me, and if I didn’t have a girlfriend…”

“Stop right there,” Jordan said, “Trust me. Don’t even let yourself go down that road. You have enough on your plate as it is, especially since it looks like Gabe likes her too.”

“Thanks,” he said weakly. He knew that Jordan was right, he had an amazing thing going on with Lindsey, a love that was previously unknown to the usually dense boy existed between the two of them. Yet with Meghan, there was this passion, and freshness, and a rebellious drive that reminded him of… Lindsey.

“I guess I just miss her,” he said, noticed the look of confusion on Jordan’s face, “Lindsey, I mean. We went through a lot together.”

“I know you two were pretty close,” he smiled, “but you have to set Meghan straight, and soon. If this causes a divide between the group, I’m going to have to do something.”

“It won’t get that far,” John said, “I promise.”

“You’ve always been a man of your word, even if that word was spoken obnoxiously loud and with profanities,” Jordan laughed, pulling the boy into a one armed embrace. For a split second, John felt like he did when he was with family.

“Speak of the devils, there they are,” said Jordan, pointing to two tiny specks travelling down the winding dirt road. It looked like they were waving.

“They’re already near the rendezvous point for the evening, if we want to have any rest at all before leaving tomorrow morning, we’ll have to make haste.” Jordan said, packing his things and sliding down the ridge.

“Always on the move,” John muttered. He smiled briefly to himself. Except for the lack of trainers demanding a battle from him, for one of the first times since April, he felt like he was on a real journey.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“That was definitely them!” Gabe shouted, as they turned around.

“They were like two miles away, how do you know?” Meghan snorted, Vesta, her Ledian, agreeing with her.

“What other adult, teenager duo is traveling this route right now? That was either them or we’re fu-ked beyond all recognition.”

<Language! > Giallo lightly slapped him across the face.

<Yes, my virgin ears! > Emory, Meghan’s Gliscor chimed in.

“Oh be quiet, you curse worse than a truck driver!” Meghan laughed.

<I FU-KING DON’T! TAKE THAT BACK! > Roared Emory.

“Case and point,” Meghan smiled while Gabe nearly cried with laughter.

<Where are we going master? > Rohan, the tiny Cyndaquil next to Gabe chirped.

“I told you,” Gabe said, picking his Pokémon up and placing it on his shoulder, “to a dock. It’s kind of like a floor, but it’s on the water. You’ll like it!”

<I dunno…water is pretty scary. Do I have to go in? > Rohan shook nervously.

“Nah bud, you can just hang with me,” Gabe chuckled.

<You promise? > the Cyndaquil asked in the most adorable tone it could muster.

“I promise,” Gabe said, kissing the little Pokémon’s forehead.

<Awwww that’s adorable! > Emory said, hovering near Meghan, <WHY CAN’T YOU BE NICE TO ME LIKE THAT!>

“Cause you stopped being cute,” Meghan joked. Emory did not think it was funny.

“Looks like we don’t have too much further to go,” Gabe said, awkwardly, feeling as though he had interrupted Meghan and Emory.

“I can already smell the ocean!” she smiled. The trees alongside their path were finally starting to thin out, large, menacing oaks giving way to skinny, crooked pines. Bird Pokémon flew over their heads in abundance, occasionally swooping down to grab a bug Pokémon from the road or trees. When he first started his journey, Gabe found this absolutely horrifying, but he had become accustomed to it.

Zazu would do the same thing if he were a wild Pokémon, he reasoned.

The sun was brilliant today, a pleasant change from the weeks of rain they had while in Violet City. Fall, it seemed, was quite content with its sluggish takeover of summer. In Unova, Gabe’s home region, at this point in October, the temperature would rarely reach 60 degrees; here in Johto, it was nearly 70 degrees. Not that he was complaining.

He put his sunglasses on, as the glare from the waning afternoon sun had become unbearable, and shifted his hat. Down the road, perhaps only a half mile away, he caught a faint reflection of sunlight over the water. The docks were close.

<I know why you have those, you know, > the tiny flying squirrel Pokémon on his other shoulder whispered in his ear.

“What, you mean my shades?” said Gabe, playing it cool.

<Yeah… um…those, > Giallo said choking back laughter, <you got them to stare at ‘old D cups over there. >

Immediately Gabe’s skin color became the same color as his maroon Violet College shirt. “I hate you,” he managed to mutter.

“Gabe?” the question seemed to catch him off guard, although Meghan talking to him usually had the effect on him.

God if she heard Giallo then I’m totally fu-ked, he thought, paralyzed with fear.

“Can I ask you a question?” she asked.

Phew!

“You’re a guy… god this is awkward,” she paused.

“Megs, come on, you can talk to me” he smiled.

Yep, I’m smooth.

“You’re right,” she smiled back, a ray of insecurity shining through her otherwise solid armor of overconfidence, “do you know if John likes me?”

Fu-k!

“I…er…honestly?” he stuttered in response.

“I’d expect nothing less from you,” she said, rather forcefully.

Typical Meghan… he thought.

“Do you mean as…you know, more than friends? Because he has a girlfriend, and quite frankly I’m kind of shocked you’d even ask this question,” Gabe responded, resoundingly. The dock was nearly upon them, a light sea breeze now making itself known.

“I know but…I know he likes me. I can see it, I’m not stupid,” she said, her tone quickly switching from apprehensive to defiant.

“Look,” he said, growing annoyed, “we’ve talked about it. He thinks you’re really cute, but we all do. You remind him of his girlfriend back at home, not the other way around. I know those two have been having problems…I mean maybe if he wasn’t dating her…” he stopped. Pretty sure I broke some kind of bro code with that one, he sighed. “You have to talk to him about it,” he paused, breaking the quick, but still awkward silence. “Because we’re in the middle of a fu-king war, and the poor dude has to help lead a militia, the last thing he needs is a love triangle.”

“You’re right,” she said quickly.

“Didn’t know you were capable of saying those words to me,” he chuckled.

“Don’t get used to it,” she snapped, “I’ll talk to him tonight and work it out. And not to completely change the subject, but I’m thinking here is good a place as any for camp,” she said, pointing to large expanse of grass by the side of the road.

“Fine,” he smiled triumphantly. “I’ll set up camp, you can scout out a perimeter, make sure there isn’t anything out here.”

“Alright,” she smiled back, beckoning to her Pokémon to stay behind, “I’ll check it out. But all I’m going to find is a couple of Pidgey and Hoothoot,” she sighed.

“Well then maybe you can catch something, I’m sure Vesta and Emory are lonely,” he joked. She looked angrily at him in reply, and seemed to storm off.

“What did I do?” he asked, aloud to the Pokémon congregation around him.

<Well um… you see Meghan lost most of her Pokémon when Blackthorn was nuked. > Emory muttered awkwardly.

<HOW COULD YOU! YOU MADE HER SAD, GO APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW! > Roared Vesta, defiantly flying towards Gabe in a fit of rage.

<No hurt master!> Zazu jumped in front of Gabe, defiantly flapping its wings. The poor Pidgey was unable to fly; it still had most of its baby feathers, and wasn’t particularly aerodynamic. In fact, it kind of looked like a puffball.

<AWW IT’S SO CUTE! > Vesta smiled, forgetting about Gabe completely and stopping abruptly in front of the blushing Zazu. <Do you want to learn how to fly? > She asked in a baby voice.

<Yup! > Chirped Zazu, again attempting to master the ability in vain.

<Come with me you little cutie, > the Ledian smiled, taking him down the beach.

<Now, first, spread your wings out, > she said, spreading her multiple arms out as well as her wings. <It’s a little different for me, cause Imma bug, but it’s not hard!>

<Like this, Ms. Vesta? > Zazu chirped, slowly and carefully forming his words.

<Yes! But don’t you call me Ms. Vesta silly! Call me auntie Vesta, or something like that, ‘cause I’m gonna look after you, > she smiled.

Zazu was beaming.

<Now,> said Vesta, <breath in deeply, and clear your mind. For you, I would jump in the air, and very carefully flap your wings. >

Zazu did as he was told; he drew in a deep breath, jumped in the air, and rapidly flapped his wings. The end result however, was the same, he fell flat on his butt and did little more then stir the sand up.

<Don’t you worry honey, > Vesta hugged the distraught Pidgey, <We’ll get it. >

Meanwhile, just as Vesta took an interest in Pidgey, Emory had done the same with Rohan.

<Now, come on, hit me with an Ember attack, > Emory demanded.

<Right at your chest? Isn’t that…you know…going to hurt? > Rohan skittishly stared at the ground.

<Oh please honey, don’t worry about my anatomy, I was built for this, > Emory smiled, attempting to be as accommodating and nice as possible.

<All right then, here we go! > Rohan concentrated for a brief second, and sent a scorching hot Ember attack at Emory, who, surprisingly, withstood it, wincing a bit.

<There ya go! No hesitation! I’m proud of you. > She exclaimed, nursing her wounds.

<I did it! What else? > Rohan exclaimed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4:00 Johto Standard Time

“I can’t believe he could be so insensitive!” She whispered loudly to herself. She took out her aggressions on a nearby branch, ripping it from the skinny young oak tree that encroached on her path.

I don’t even know why I’m doing this, there is nothing out here, she thought angrily. The sun was setting, and not only was it getting harder to see in the labyrinth of trees, but it the temperature was dropping significantly.


“Sh-t!” she yelled, as her wide brimmed sun hat was knocked off her head by yet another large branch. As she reached down to go grab it, she felt the wind take hold of her short maroon dress, nearly exposing her panties. Not that anyone would see them, this far out into the woods.

She paused for a second, fixing her dress. She heard a faint rustling in the berry bushes a few yards in front of her. They were pretty large, so she couldn’t quite see the perpetrator, which alarmed her.

She grabbed her hat, placing it firmly back on her head, and decided to turn back. She had scanned a radius of nearly a mile, and found nothing. Most of the wild Pokémon here for either extremely weak, or hiding from her, and there wasn’t a soul anywhere near this route.

<You know, you shouldn’t curse, it’s not very becoming of a lady, > said a snarky yet familiar voice.

“Who’s there? Show yourself!” a startled Meghan frantically searched for the Pokéballs that were supposed to be on her belt. To her horror, she discovered she had none.

< You don’t remember me? > Asked a large, yellow Pokémon, as he stepped from the bushes. Its white underbelly was stained with blood and caked with mud. His stubby arms were scratched and bruised, and he walked with a limp. Still, the red orb on his head glowed with a fiery passion, and the Pokémon had a great deal of life in his eyes.

“No…that’s not possible. You died! I saw your body!” tears began to stream down Meghan’s face.

The Ampharos smiled, <It’s me, Chatham. And I have returned to you, my master, after a very long journey. >

Meghan lost herself, running toward the Pokémon and hastily throwing a hug on him. He winced, and she relented slightly, pulling back to stare into his eyes.

“How did you find me?” she asked, dumbfounded.

<Before the explosion at Blackthorn, I noticed a few suspicious people by a truck downtown. I broke away from the group to follow these people, and I ended up all the way back towards our camp, on Route 45. By then, I had discovered just what these people were up to, and I was on my way to inform you, when they shot me. When you were evacuating, you found me, and I was essentially dead. I knew that I would only weigh you down, so I allowed you to think I was gone. But nearly 20 minutes after you had evacuated, a Pokémon doctor quickly treated my wounds. Even though I was in excruciating pain, I ran for my life, to avoid the radiation. I figured, like me, you would go south. It was just luck….I saw you with that boy and ran my hardest to find you, > now he was crying as he embraced his master.

“I missed you so much Chatham,” she breathed, looking up briefly to see a small, pudgy yellow sheep, with a glowing orb on the back of its tail.

“Who’s that?” she asked, whipping away her tears.

<That is my…er son. I adopted him two weeks ago, when I saw his parents had been murdered. Can he come with us? > Chatham asked.

“Absolutely,” she smiled warmly, grabbing two empty Pokéball off her belt.

< No need for that, > he smiled, giving her a very damaged, but still functioning Pokéball with a lightning sticker on it, < I saved it. I knew I would find you someday. >

“Now, let’s get you fixed up. Jordan will tend to you when we get back to camp. You’ll meet everyone, and live with us,” she smiled, withdrawing her Pokémon.

“Come here little guy,” she smiled, showing him the Pokéball. The Mareep obliged, nudging the button with his tiny nose, and allowing himself to be captured.

Meghan was so caught up in her tearful reunion; she hadn’t heard the sounds of two obvious men creeping up on her.

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2:30 Johto Standard Time

“You see, bagged feces. They can’t be more than a half a day away,” smiled an evil looking robed man as he pulled a yellow bag from out of the dirt.

“Desolous, that’s fu-king disgusting,” Scott said, as he adjusted his purple vest, so that the distinctive “G” could be visible as possible.

“Here,” chuckled the twenty-something man, as he threw the yellow bag at a disgusted Scott. He narrowly avoided tainting his uniform, but wasn’t so lucky when Desolous threw some charcoal he found at him.

“Knock it off, “ he whined, reaching for a Pokéball.

“Don’t even think about it. No Pokémon,” barked the man.

“Why not? I just want to hang out with Slice or Quickstart. They’ve been cooped up for days now,” he complained as the duo set off again, into the bushes and trees of Route 32.

“Because I said so,” spat Desolous.

He found himself longing for the days when he could simply walk with his Pokémon, make camp, and relax with them. The beautiful weather and adventurous travel of the day reminded him of a much simpler time.

But he remembered the cause; he remembered what they were fighting for. If they succeeded, the world would be a better place, for everyone. They would be able to shape the world in their image, to create a world where war and abuse didn’t have to happen. And he would be in charge of that world. The Empress didn’t have the control over him she thought she did.

Desolous is always such an as-hole, he thought, Just a fu-king stick in the mud, that’s what he is. If I want to hang out with my Pokémon, god-damnit I will!

He again reached for his Pokéballs, but his hand was slapped away by the bitter man beside him.

“Shh,” he said, “look at this,” as he parted a section of a large thorn bush, without so much as a wince, and pointed to a large electric Pokémon, that Scott recognized as an Ampharos, and its counterpart, a Mareep, slowly limping south.

“That’s the Mareep of the Ampharos we shot!” Scott exclaimed quietly.

“I know, shut up!” Desolous barked.

“I wonder what that Ampharos is doing?” Scott said, ignoring Desolous’ order for silence, and silently removing and cocking his gun.

Desolous grabbed it defiantly, put the safety on, and stuffed it back in Scott’s holster. “Not now, idiot. Let’s follow the thing. I have a good feeling about this.”

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4:30 Johto Standard Time

“I’m sorry to break up this warm little reunion, but you’re under arrest,” cackled a triumphant Desolous, his gun pointed at the scared teenage girl.

“Fuck off! On whose authority?” Meghan barked, reaching for a Pokéball. Again she realized that Chatham was in no condition to fight, and she didn’t have Emory or Vesta with her.

“The Galactic Confederacy’s authority!” Scott yelled as he drew his gun, “Show some respect!”

“Last I checked we’re in Johto. Johto is free, so why don’t you run along before my Gliscor has her way with you,” she stood up, clenching her fists. She was bluffing, but they didn’t know that.

“Come off it girl. We’ve been here the whole time. The only two Pokémon you have are a beaten Ampharos and a pathetic looking Mareep,” Desolous snarled.

She shivered, half out of fear, and half out of cold. The wind had picked up, and the sun had essentially set. It didn’t matter; large, ominous clouds had begun their march toward the horizon, and had covered the sky.

“Fuck off! They could kick your ass,” she yelled, but with less fervor. She was trying to think of an escape plan, and couldn’t.

“Look,” Desolous growled, over a distant roll of thunder, “I’ll give you to the count of three to come over here. If you don’t, I’ll shoot you right fu-king here.”

She turned her head, and began to take slow steps toward camp.

“One,” she heard.

“Two,” she heard.

“Three,” she heard. No shot.

“Looks like you’re the one who’s bluffing,” she turned around and smiled.

“Oh yeah?” Desolous cocked his gun, and pulled his hood off. He revealed his hideously scarred, grey face; his eyes were bloodshot, and heavy dark bags hung from them. His hair was short, some of it seemed to even be charred away, and a large, open wound ran across the top.

“…Andrew?” she asked, stunned.

“So now you know the truth…” he paused, “I’m so sorry,” he snarled sarcastically, raising his boney fingers and small, black pistol, and fired.

After a loud noise, she felt a brief flash of pain her shoulder, but nothing nearly as bad as what she was expecting. She focused her attention on her arm, and saw a streak of blood but nothing else; the bullet had grazed her.

Desolous, however, was on the ground, his robes drenched and his gun on a root beside him. A tiny, triumphant Bilbo stood to his side, shooting a steady stream of highly pressurized water at the man. Meghan made an instinct move for his gun, but was kicked away by Scott, who shot at her and missed.

“Put the gun down right now!” yelled Richard Jordan, who held his pistol with poise, his gigantic Mamoswine looming behind him, gearing up for a Blizzard attack.

“Now!” he yelled again, forcefully. Scott quickly tired to retort, moving his gun towards Richard in an effort to shoot him. Richard shot him swiftly in the shoulder, knocking the gun out of his hands.

Bilbo and Violet, who had taken care of Desolous, relented slightly as John grabbed the two men’s weapons.

“You alright?” he yelled as be clumsily pointed one of the guns at the shaken Desolous.

“I’m fine!” she quietly winced.

“Grab his Pokéballs!” Richard yelled, and John obliged, moving to grab the man’s belt. He was met with a swift kick in the groin, and an ensuing punch in the jaw. Desolous grabbed his gun, and pointed it at the boy.

“Let Scott go, or the boy dies,” he screamed, shaking the gun right next to John’s head.

“Scott? You two-timing cowardly son of a bitch! Fuck you!” John spat.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, KID!” Desolous howled, slamming the gun into his head.

“HEY!” Jordan screamed, shooting Scott again, this time right above the knee. The teenager fell in pain as blood gushed from his wound. John looked away, in disgust.

Desolous grabbed at one of his Pokéballs, tossed it in the air, and yelled “Teleport!” And almost instantly, Desolous and Scott disappeared into the twilight.

To be continued....

A/N:So there is a lot of swearing in this one, didn't notice that until today. At any rate, the character bios have been updated. The next chapter is due out in early January, entitled: Up All Night. Sorry for the delay!
 
Last edited:

Treecko's Awesomeness

Treecko is claimed!
Why, thank you, MM! I'm always glad to help, so if you need me to beta again, just ask! Anyway, it was hard to find much wrong with the chapter, so I focused on being a Grammar Nazi. I don't have much to say other than what I already said so, bye! Also, first reply! Woot!

-TA
 

Manaphyman

Up all night
Being a grammar nazi was exactly what I needed, I might have to take you up on that future beta-ing offer! Thanks again for the beta and the review!
 

Air Dragon

Ha, ha... not.
As requested...

Well, isn't this a glorious ride you're taking us on? Team Galactic are only getting more brazen and we might see these double (love) triangles resolved soon...

Speaking on brackets, back in Chapter Three (?), when speech is made in an undertone or to oneself, I doubt they're needed. Just let the reader(s) know what's happened; muttering, mumbling, asides... that kinda stuff.

Most of the stuff I'd be on your case about (Oh, dear Lord... the homonym thing again?! LOL... ) has been mentioned, so you are spared.... this time. One thing did ring out as inconsistent to me though:

“Absolutely,” she smiled warmly, grabbing two empty Pokéball off her belt.

Didn't you earlier say Meghan had NO pokeballs on her when Chatham approached? Keep it consistent, sailor... :p

Guess that's about it, buddy. Read this stuff over from the "reader's" point of view, ok? Homonyms are easier to avoid that way...

L@er!
 

Manaphyman

Up all night
Thanks AD!

Speaking on brackets, back in Chapter Three (?), when speech is made in an undertone or to oneself, I doubt they're needed. Just let the reader(s) know what's happened; muttering, mumbling, asides... that kinda stuff.

Good call, and your advice will certainly help in my quest to modify the dialogue in NF. Its a work in progress, but thanks!

Most of the stuff I'd be on your case about (Oh, dear Lord... the homonym thing again?! LOL... ) has been mentioned, so you are spared.... this time. One thing did ring out as inconsistent to me though:

It seems no matter what I do I can't seem to get the homonym thing down. I promise I'm not this stupid in real life! I'll try to proofread better haha, and I'll tell my beta to pay special attention to it.

Didn't you earlier say Meghan had NO pokeballs on her when Chatham approached? Keep it consistent, sailor... :p

I think what I meant to say is that she didn't have pokeballs that contained Pokemon. I probably should have said "backpack" instead of belt, because she had empty Pokeballs with her. I guess it was a diction mistake...

At any rate, thanks for the review! Glad you're back!
 

dash142

Beginning Trainer
A great chapter. Love triangles, John knows about Scott now, and apparently Meghan knows Desolous/Andrew? That'll be a nice twist and add some more depth to both of their characters I bet.... Oh, and Bilbo learned a new word!
 

Manaphyman

Up all night
Thank you sir, I'm glad you liked the chapter. And to clarify, Desolous/Andrew does indeed know Meghan. What exactly the details and implicatons of that remain to be seen. But yes, they have a history.

Bilbo and his new words haha...I know he's a fictional character but I love the little guy haha.
 

Manaphyman

Up all night
Opening authors notes:

Hey everybody. I know it has been an embarrassingly long time. I would be kinda ticked off if the story I was reading suddenly stopped updating too. I only ask that you hear me out.

This year has been a rollercoaster of amazingness and tragedy. I have lost two members of my extended family (both of whom I was very close with), and work has been all over the map. I've been sitting on this chapter for a while, and during the summer, was briefly considering ending my writing all together. But I would like to finish this up before I leave college. So here is the next chapter. I can promise you the next few will come sooner rather than later. I still need a beta, as this chapter will reflect, so if anyone wants to volunteer, shoot me VM. I've tried to proofread it myself, (3 times) and well, you guys know I couldn't spot a grammar error if it bit me in the ***.


Chapter 6: Up All Night

“Here, drink this. It’ll help,” he said, sitting down beside the shocked looking girl. He handed her a piping cup of hot chocolate, and got up, zipping the tent for some privacy.

“Thanks, John,” she muttered unemotionally, slowly taking a sip. She crawled into her bed, wrapping herself into a cocoon in her light blue comforter. He sat down on a makeshift, foldable chair beside her.

“You want to-“ he began.

“No,” she responded flatly.

“I think it will help,” he began again, cut off a second time.

“No. I’m fine,” Meghan said.

“Fine,” he replied, offended. He rose out of his chair and headed for the door. He was almost out when he heard another murmur.

“I’m…sorry,” she said, her eyes twinkling with forming tears.

John sighed, and headed back towards his chair. “Women,” he muttered to himself, before offering up a smile.

“What was that? I didn’t hear you,” he teased.

“I said I’m sorry, you idiot,” she said, her face contorted into some sort of watery smile.

He couldn’t help but grasp her hand, “Don’t worry about it,” he smiled, “you’ve been through a lot.”

“I guess…it’s just…so weird. I was nearly assaulted, and two of my friends, who I thought were dead showed up. Its just…emotional, that’s all. This whole Blackthorn thing has been really tough on me.”

“Focus on the positive, take solace in the fact that two of your friends are alive,” he offered, not really knowing what to say. He had endured his share of tragedy, but found it trivial now, to compare experiences. He was smart enough to know that even if his burden were similar to that of Meghan’s it would be futile to compare them.

“Well, at least one of those is positive,” she said, confusing John, “which reminds me: I have something for you.”

She jumped out of her cocoon in order to retrieve her bag, and digging through it like it was an endless black hole, found a small, miniaturized Pokéball in a jar-like apparatus.

“It’s the Mareep I caught, it was adopted by my Ampharos, Chatham. I promised him that they wouldn’t be separated, but I don’t need a Mareep. I figured you could have him. Once he’s recovered, I think he’ll be a loyal friend,” she grinned, handing him the jar.

“Seriously? What’s his name?” John asked, giddy with excitement.

“Well I figured I’d leave that part up to you,” she blushed, and gently leaned in, kissing him on the cheek. “Just make sure he stays in the healing chamber until tomorrow morning.”

John, out of impulse, practically tackled Meghan with a hug. The two locked in an embrace for what seemed like minutes, the sexual tension obviously building. His heart began to speed up, and he felt Meghan’s do the same. From then on, everything seemed hazy, and his reason began to fade.

They pulled back from their embrace, Meghan’s arms still wrapped around John, the two staring deeply into each other’s eyes. In the back of his mind, he knew that this was it; he had just a few seconds to pull back, to prevent himself from cheating. His rational mind was fighting tooth and nail, just say something it pinned, but it was too late. His body overruled him, his morals dulled by his pulsing desire to kiss her. He saw their two faces slowly drifting forward, knew now that he was past the point of no return, saw her eyes closed, closed is, and kissed her. It was an instant; he felt her cool lips brush against his, her hands slowly moving under his shirt. He felt the kiss evolve; at first a harmless peck, but now her lips had parted, her tongue playfully caressing his, the pace quickening, becoming almost urgent.

They fell onto her bed, the pace now manic. One hand was entangled in Meghan’s mass of blonde hair, the other wrapping around her chest reaching for her shirt. She was on top of him, tugging at his clothes, ripping them off with the same urgency. He gently tugged at the two straps of her dress, allowing it to slide down her delicate, slightly tanned skin. He reached for her bra, a lacy, black garment, now the only thing standing between him and her round, beautiful breasts. His other hand, now freed from Meghan’s hair, worked lower.

<JOHN!> he heard a boomingly loud, familiar voice in his head. He instantly realized what he had done, and released himself from the kiss.

“Is something wrong?” she said, “you need me to help with the bra?”

“No its not…wait what? I’m a champ at that!” he protested.

“If you were, it would have been off already,” she teased, her face beat red. She was panting, her soft breaths making her chest rise and fall in an almost hypnotic way. Her body glistened with sweat, and again, the temptation swelled.

“How am I doing?” she asked.

<Get out of there right now before I come in there and hit you with a Psychic attack in the groin, > said the voice again, it was clearly Violet.

“F-fine,” he managed a weak smile, “listen Meghan,” he started.

“Good. You’re going to have to bear with me. You have protection right?” she said, still breathing heavily.

<JOHN!> again Violet protested.

Alright, alright, he thought. Just gimme a minute.

“Meghan I can’t do this,” he finally gasped, and he immediately was overwhelmed with guilt.

“What?” she innocently replied, almost taken aback.

“Look you’re beautiful. No, you’re more than beautiful; you’re the most ravishing girl I’ve ever met. It’s just…I have a girlfriend, whom I love…I think. That’s not something I’m willing to throw away. And even if I didn’t, if you hadn’t noticed, Gabe has a huge crush on you. We can’t do this. It isn’t fair to anyone,” he groaned, as if this was a chore.

“This is a joke, right?”

“Unfortunately no, it's not.”

She got up, still only clad in lacy, black underwear, and slapped him. His ears rung as he hastily put his shirt back on, and buttoned his pants. “Look I hope we can still be friends,” he muttered.

“Get out!” she screamed, tossing the jar containing Mareep at him. He unzipped the tent as fast as he could, and scurried back across the campsite, to his own tent.

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He was alone, but he wasn’t complaining. Its not like he was really alone anyway. Zazu was sleeping in his lap, Rohan was playing gleefully near the fire, and Giallo was resting on the log next to him.

<Where are John and Meghan? > Giallo asked incredulously.

“Meghan’s tent,” he said flatly, “she ‘s supposed to be talking to him about her feelings and crap.”

<Yeah, I’m sure that’s what they’re doing, talking, > the Pokémon laughed.

Gabe rolled his eyes and dropped the subject. He could honestly say he had no interest in John’s love life. Meghan’s was a different story. His mind wandered, and he surveyed his surroundings. Their camp was hardly visible; there were four tents, arranged in a circle around a large open fire. Each tent was a medium sized, visible canvass dome; nothing terribly luxurious, but not bad either. One oversight though, was the camp’s proximity to the water. Being on the beach between the rolling grasslands of Johto and the dock, they were in a glorified wind tunnel. The breeze was helpful and even wanted during the day, when it was warm, but now that the sun had set, the late fall temperatures began to take over. They weren’t quite close enough to the equator for it to be perpetually warm, and being from a continent with schizophrenic seasons like Unova, Gabe couldn’t wait.

“Hey Rohan, could ya stoke the fire a bit?’ he asked, a piercing wind causing both Zazu and Giallo to cuddle up even closer to him. This, right here, was his favorite part of being a trainer- a quiet, relaxing moment with his Pokémon curled up beside him. He looked out into the dark abyss that was the ocean, allowing himself to be drawn in by the crashing of the waves and the sweet, haunting hum of the Wailmer and Wailord.

<I’m on it! > Cried the little Cyndaquil, as he released a powerful belch of fire at the logs.

“Impressive,” Gabe smiled, “Where’d you learn that?”

<My mommy taught me! > Rohan jumped into Gabe’s arms and curled up affectionately with Zazu, Giallo, and the boy.

“Mommy?” Gabe asked, kissing the little creature gently on the head.

<Yeah, my mommy, Emory! She’s helping me with battle. >

“That’s right, I thought I saw you guys talking when I was setting up camp. I’m glad you guys are finally bonding,” he paused. “And I’m glad you’re with me right now.”

He smiled, but then glanced at Meghan’s tent butterflies suddenly fluttering to life in his stomach. He saw John storm out, looking embarrassed and furious, which eased his anxiety, if only a bit. He decided not to bother him.

“And what about me? Ya got room for an old fellow like me?” a familiar and comforting voice bellowed.

He instantly recognized it.

“Grandpa!” he shouted, standing up, grabbing his Pokémon, and hugging the man.

“Yes, yes my lad, I’m happy to see you too.”

“I take it you’re feeling better?” Gabe asked, releasing the rather large man.

“Yessir. Imma feeling much better. Although my legs are a bit tired, they aren’t used to all this hiking. That’s what a month in the hospital will do fer ya!” he smiled a wide, toothy grin, and sat down on the log next to Gabe. The boy, who had feared for Anthony’s life when he had suffered a massive stroke but three weeks prior, was ecstatic to see his childhood hero walking again.

“What brings you here grandpa?” Gabe asked with child like enthusiasm.

“Well er…to be honest, Rich, ya know, Mr. Jordan, he called me up and told me what happened. He didn’t tell me to come here or nothing, I just decided that my grandson needed me!” he burped, laughed, and pressed a Pokéball on his belt.

A massive, blue Pokémon appeared before him. It was covered in large, round masses, and looked amphibian in nature. He resembled Anthony, in size (it was rather tall) stature (it was rather chubby) and demeanor, (it had the same toothy smile as he did.)

“How are ya Mortimer!” Gabe asked the Seismitoad.

<Good! > It belched rather loudly, sitting down with a thud.

“Ole Mortimer here apparently had relations with a lady friend a couple of months ago. This here is an egg, I’m not really sure fer what, to be honest.” Anthony said, tossing him a bright blue egg.

“Wouldn’t it be for a Tympole?” Gabe asked.

<You’d think so, > Mortimer smirked, <But I had…fun with a Quagsire. So I think that there egg is gonna be a Wooper.>

“Heh, well thanks” Gabe winced, taking the egg. The thought of that gigantic mess of a Pokémon having relations with anything made him cringe.

“Yer welcome!” Anthony smiled, sitting down on the log next to him. His massive size nearly broke the rotten tree trunk, and a small, green Caterpie scurried out from under it, into the trees.

“So, er, you okay?” he asked, placing a massive arm around Gabe and bringing him close.

“Yeah I’m alright. Rohan, Zazu, and Giallo were keeping me company,” he paused, looking at Meghan’s purple tent, decided it was too hard, and averted his eyes yet again. He looked this time, to the dancing embers that leaked out of the fire, briefly illuminating patches of the night sky as the wind carried them towards the heavens.

Anthony seemed to know what was going on, and tried to offer words of comfort; “You were always a good Pokémon trainer. These young’uns are lucky to have ya.”

“Thanks,” Gabe smiled weakly, leaning his head on Anthony’s shoulder.

“Now where is that Jordan of yers?” Anthony asked, his voice growing serious.

“I don’t know. He went off to do some scouting I think. He’s been acting awfully strange lately. I think its because he’s mad at John,” he said.

Abruptly, Anthony got up. With one arm, he picked Gabe up, wrapped in a bone-crushing hug, and started towards the woods with Mortimer. “Imma go find him. He needs to know I’m here,” he said, determined.

“Wait, let me come with you!” Gabe winced, cracking his neck.

“No, you stay here with yer Pokémon and yer Egg. I just wanna to make sure everything is okay,” Anthony faked a smile and continued walking.

“Love ya,” he called out.

“Love you too,” Gabe muttered, just loud enough for his Grandfather to hear.

“Enough of this love fest!” John muttered, angry, as he shoved his black “Four Island High Track and Field” jacket on.

“When did you get here?” Gabe asked, facetiously.

“Two minutes ago,” John said, bluntly.

“What the hell happened in there?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

But he didn’t have a choice, as out of the blue tent across their makeshift yard; a very deliberate, very determined Violet was walking towards them. A pink glow began to form around John, first faint, then very pronounced, and he was lifted upside-down, screaming, above the fire.

“Violet, what the hell are you doing, put me down!” he yelled.

“I, uh, don’t think you want to be put down just yet…” Gabe muttered, as Rohan laughed with glee. John was inches away from some very unpleasant burns.

<YOU GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY I SHOULDN’T DROP YOU RIGHT NOW!> she barked.
“Because-“ John started, but was cut off.

<THAT’S RIGHT. YOU CAN’T. YOU JUST COULDN’T KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF LITTLE MISS DOUBLE-D’S. WELL I’M TELLING LINDSEY>

“Oh come on now Vi-“

<DON’T “come on Vi” ME, YOU CHEATED. YOU’RE A CHEATER! HOW MANY TIMES DID I HAVE TO TELL YOU, STAY AWAY!> And with that, she promptly tossed John in the air, threw him to the ground next to Gabe, and delivered a swift Psychic attack to the groin.

Gabe chuckled to himself, giving him a little while to recover before asking the obvious question.

“Rough night, huh?”

“You don’t even know the half of it,” John coughed, obviously in pain.

The sound of Krickitune was slowly building to a crescendo, as the night grew deeper. There were no stars tonight, no moon to light up their camp, just an ominous mist building around the two boys, sitting by the fire, their Pokémon drifting off to sleep.

“So you hooked up with her?” Gabe broke the uneasy silence.

John let out another heavy sigh, drawing up the courage to face his new friend. He paused momentarily, something stirring in the fog drawing his attention. He found himself distressed, an eerie feeling overtaking him.

“John?” Gabe asked again.

“What?”

“Did you?” He asked inquisitively.

“No….well yes….kinda. Not really. I was trying to comfort her, and one thing led to another, and we were cuddling, totally innocent by the way, and she kissed me. And we started making out and we got really close to the heavy stuff but I pulled away before the…” he paused, “…undergarments came off.”

“Were they…?” Gabe asked, and was immediately cut off, by John,

“Amazing,” he said, shaking his head.

“Yeah I figured,” Gabe smirked.
The two sat there, again in silence, for a few minutes. The fire began to flicker, embers fluttering into the sky in smaller numbers, finally succumbing to the cold night.

“So?” John asked.

“So what?” Gabe replied.

“In my whole ‘this is wrong, we can’t do this’ speech to Meghan, I might have mentioned you have a crush on her. I’m sorry dude, I’m an asshole with shitty self control. I miss my girlfriend, and I know that’s no excuse but its just hard sometimes,” he trailed off.

Gabe took a few minutes to let the apology sink in, all the while continuing to gently stroke Rohan’s fur.

“It’s fine,” he said, finally. “I mean, I’m pretty sure she already knew. I’m not gonna lie, I’m pretty pissed, but we’re at war. We have other things to worry about. So we’re straight, as long as you don’t do that again,” and with that, he stretched out his hand.

John grabbed it, “I won’t. I know I have to earn your trust back, by the way. I promise, I will make it up to you.”

Gabe didn’t respond, the boy obviously uneasy with the whole situation.

“We should probably go after your grandpa,” John offered.

The blonde boy agreed, jumped up, and startled Rohan, who was sleeping peacefully on his lap.

“I’m sorry bud,” he said, kissing the Pokémon and placing him on his shoulder, “we have to go get Grandpa.”

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Anthony had searched deep into the night, blazing trails in the dense Johto forest. He followed the faint sound of a voice, and it was beginning to become audible.

“Yes, yes, everything is fine,” a tall, middle-aged man barked into the phone. Though the sounds of Hoothoot and Poliwhirl echoed in the night, the loud, female voice on the other end of the conversation was quite defined.

He got closer still, treading carefully, trying his hardest not to step on a branch or leaves, or even worse, a Pokémon.

“The fu-k if I know,” the man said, annoyed, “Blame your idiot apprentice. He revealed his whole fu-king identity, and the damn girl knows him.”

Again, there was a long pause. Anthony continued to get closer.

“I’m not going to get into this with you, Empress, there is nothing I can do. Look, you gave me a mission, and that was to keep the boy out of sight and out of mind, so that he didn’t get mixed up in this war, and to kill two birds with one stone and destroy the Johto militia. That was my primary goal. I didn’t hear anything about you sending Dumb and Dumber over to kill him,” the man said.

“You will do as you are told. I sent Desolous and Scott. My reasons are my own,” the Empress spat, her voice barely audible over the wind, Anthony emerged from the bushes behind the teacher, into the clearing, the wind even worse now. By his calculation, they were at the top of a very large cliff, as he could hear the dull roar of the ocean.

“What the hell is the point of my mission? You sent me over here to get rid of me! You think I’m a threat! Well we’re done. I am DONE helping you, you hear me! This is my group now!” He screamed into the phone, disturbing sleeping Murkrow from their slumbers. The former teacher was making quite a ruckus.

Richard turned around, the fog of his anger slowly receding, to see a stout, older gentleman, his toothy mouth wide open, completely stunned.

“You. You work for them,” was all Hiker Anthony could muster.

“Yes, I do,” Richard said, one hand on a Pokéball, the other closing his phone. He walked over towards the grandfather, threateningly. Anthony grabbed at the first Pokéball he could find, whipping it off his belt and casting it into the air. A blast of red light illuminated the clearing, giving the fog a bloody glow.

In front of the man appeared a fortified, four legged, tank of a Pokémon. With glowing blue eyes and five steel-reinforced horn’s Anthony’s Lairon was formidable, yet also stocky.

“Obviously you heard some things that you weren’t supposed to hear. And quite frankly, it would be much easier to kill you right now, but I’m feeling generous. I will offer this only once. Join me Anthony. Join me, and we will kill the Empress of the Galactic Confederacy. Join me, and we will take her place, and shape the world in our image! Do it for Gabe.”

The offer was tempting. Unlimited power; control over the entire known world.

“No,” he breathed, “I was born free and there aint no way in hell I’m gonna enslave people! Tuck, kill this scum!”

The Lairon responded, pounding its massive grey feet into the ground, and pouncing forward, onto the unsuspecting teacher. Richard dove out of the way, casting out a Pokéball just as he escaped the grey behemoth’s attack.

“I gave you a chance,” he spat, whipping dirt off of his face, “now you must face the consequences.”

Erba, a tiny, green Chikorita, stood in front of her trainer, defiant. She wore a scowl on her face, and the leaf that grew from the top of her head was ripped and wrinkled. The pearls around her neck glowed a dim white, as her tiny claws grasped at the raw Earth.

“You brought this on yourself! She might not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts. Erba use Energy Ball!”

“Rockslide, Tuck!”

The tiny grass Pokémon artfully dodged the many falling boulders from the cliff above, gracefully making her way towards Tuck. She darted to within a few yards of the Pokémon, and the pearls on her neck glowing, released a powerful ball of green energy directly at the Pokémon’s face.

Lairon recoiled, stunned. He recollected himself, and readied for another attack.

“Takedown!” The steel rhino raced at his target, braced for impact, and slammed into the little Pokémon before Jordan could retort.

“Headbutt!” Anthony cried.

“Dodge it, and counter with Energy Ball!” snapped Jordan.

Erba waited until the last second, and just as it looked as if Tuck was going to connect with the attack, jumped in the air, riding the freezing wind that kicked up at just the right time. The Pokémon disappeared into the rapidly spreading fog. Tuck looked confused, but more importantly, frightened. A deafening silence descended upon the battle.

<Where are you!> roared Tuck, breaking that silence.

His question was answered, not by Erba, but by a fierce, bright, crippling green orb- that connected with the Lairon’s steel plated head. Out of the fob jumped a determined Chikorita, which bashed the Pokémon into submission with thick vines that came from the buds around its neck. Tuck had fainted.

“Well you certainly gave that your best effort. It really is quite a pity that you lost to my weakest Pokémon though…No matter. Erba, finish him. Hoist him over the cliff,” Jordan cackled.

Anthony darted, but his large form was no match for Erba’s vines. The grass Pokémon caught the man, wrapped him up, and levitated him above the cliff.

“You’ve been a thorn in my side for too long. Too long,” Jordan spat in the terrified man’s face.

“Please, d-don’t…” Anthony managed to say, though he was gasping for air.

Erba hesitated, a flash of compassion in her eyes.

<I…> she began to say.

“Save it. You’re weak. I’ll do it myself,” and with that, Jordan lifted up a Pokéball, and recalled the Pokémon. In a flash of red light, Erba returned to her Pokéball, and Anthony, who was being held over the edge of the cliff, fell. There was no scream, in fact, only a smug, satisfied silence, and a rather loud thud a few seconds later. The fall was nearly 150 feet, death was all but certain.

But still, Jordan checked. He shined a light to the rocks below, and saw a broken body, mangled and bloody. The tide would take care of the rest.

Using his Slowbro to toss the Lairon over the side, Jordan felt victorious. There was not a shred of remorse in the man’s heart, his humanity replaced by a thirst for power, a cunning desire to take down the Empress, instead to shape the world in his image.

He hadn’t factored in the boys though. As the ruthless former teacher walked away from the battle scene, two horrified teenagers hid in the bushes. Stunned, silence tears were flowing from Gabe’s eyes, as the boy had arrived far too late to save his Grandfather.

“What…the hell just happened?” John managed to speak, his voice cracking. He was shaking.

To be continued…
 
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dash142

Beginning Trainer
Damn that was a good chapter, and I wonder what will happen now that John and Gabe know about Jordan.... and that Meghan knows about Gabe hahaha

Glad your back dude and sorry about your family once again.


edit: Whoo I finally got to Morty!!
 

Manaphyman

Up all night
I'm glad that you liked it. The whole story is kind of in flux now, everything kind of gets crazy. I have the next chapter done, I'm just trying to ensure everything makes sense and it isn't confusing. Thank you for reviewing and sticking with me!
 

Air Dragon

Ha, ha... not.
Thanks John,” she muttered unemotionally, slowly taking a sip. She crawled into her bed, wrapping herself into a cocoon in her light blue comforter. He sat down on a makeshift, foldable chair beside her.

Thanks, John,” or “Thank John,” but I think the former's what we're looking at here, as she's actually talking to John.

“Unfortunately no, its not.”

It’s not or it isn’t.

The sound of Krikitune was slowly building to a crescendo,

Though the sounds of Hoot Hoots

Krickitune. Hoothoots.

1. They’re copyright, and spelled a certain way. You might wanna watch that.
2. I think it best you decide how you want to present plurals in your fic.

“I’m not going to get into this with you Empress, there is nothing I can do

Just how many Empress(es) are there? See why a comma comes before a person addressed in speech? The only times it doesn’t is when the person’s name is the first word spoken, then it would appear after the name. Or if the person is referred to in the third person.

and that was to keep the boy out of site and out of mind,

sight.

So things get a little toasty for John (and I'm not referring to Violet suspending him over a camp fire), and he and Gabe get that little snag out of the way of their friendship.. Jordan also working for the enemy and his violent offing of Anthony was quite the eye-opener, and not just for the hiker's grand kid. This journey's getting intense, hombre!

Welcome back!

L@er!
 

Manaphyman

Up all night
Fixed all of those mistakes, thank you for pointing them out AD, and its certainly good to have you back on board.

This was a pretty fun chapter to write, because it represents a turning point in the fic. Its an exciting time for Nightfall, we're going to be seeing John, Gabe, Meghan, Jordan, ect. all pulled in many differing directions.
 
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