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Nothing, Everything [PG-13]

katiekitten

The Compromise
x3 Lovely! Balin is just adorable, and the image of the lady chasing after him with the ladle... xD Priceless.

The plot is starting to thicken! *shuffles excitedly from foot to foot* Lovely slice of foreshadowing in the first part, it really caught my attention. And I absolutely adore the relationship between Violet and Bunny, their characters are filling out quite nicely and complimenting each other. Great job! ^.^

Two tiny errors that slipped though the net...

That last sentence made Driftblim change his mind and nod slowly in agreement.

“A Ninetales is eating the soup!

x3

I'll say it again, great job!
 

Bay

YEAHHHHHHH
katiekitten: Hehe, thanks! ^^ Glad you like Balin. I like him too! Hehe, lucky he wasn't slapped! XD

Glad you like Violet and Bunny's interaction. I tried my best to make it as realistic as possible. ;D

Also, thanks for complimenting on the foreshadowing. Seriously, I am bad at those, mainly because I slipped a clue accidentally whenever I tried to do one! XD

Again, thanks for the review! (hugs)

Well everyone, sorry no update. I sent Chapter Two to Saphria, but she said she was going to be busy, so now I am just doing the waiting game. It will come...well, not sure. XD Hope to have Chapter Two posted before Thanksgiving, though! ^^

For those readers that want to catch up and review, now is your chance before you have to read a few more pages! XD And yeah, edited the font of the chapter titles because I am a bit bored. XD
 

Bay

YEAHHHHHHH
All righty, here is the second chapter! Sorry for the wait, everyone! I had been busy studying for my midterms and one of my beta readers was busy. Also, sorry in advance if this chapter is a bit rushed. I wanted to get this chapter posted as it has been a bit since the last chapter update. That, and also I will be even more busy tomorrow and for the next couple of weeks. Ack, my schedule is quite hetic. >.> Promise I will try to make chapter three better.

Anways, enjoy the chapter! And oh, thanks Hanako Tabris and Saphira_Thorn for betaing!


Chapter Two
The Things They Carried

The festivities continued as the afternoon rolled on. The crowds got bigger and louder, with more people coming in. Cheers and claps could be heard from the tournament, the audience reacting to every move. Bunny’s battle against Chris Knotty, a red haired man in an armor suit, was already in progress.

Balin already had many bruises and scratch marks on him while his opponent's furry brown and white fur was only dirty with a few brunt ones. The Ninetales stared at the Linoone’s big eyes in full focus while the other Pokémon wiggled his tiny nose and then smiled.

"All right, Linoone, now for Fury Swipes!" Chris commanded.

The raccoon Pokémon stared at his trainer, grinned, and then dashed towards the Ninetales. In an instant, Linoone began swiping Balin with his claws. The fire type closed his eyes and cried in pain.

While watching that scene, Bunny started biting her nails. Only a couple minutes in and she was already losing. Her Pokémon’s screams made her anxiety worse, so she bit her nails faster.

Should I call off the battle or not? I do not want my Pokémon to get seriously injured, but then the crowd would be disappointed. Ugh, me getting nervous with crowds.

At the stands, while many people were cheering, Violet sighed disappointedly and then shook her head.

This is not going so well for Bunny. She needs to do something or else Balin is in serious trouble. Also, hope her nervousness won't be too much of a problem.

After the attack was over, the Linoone sprinted a few steps back and then chuckled at his opponent. Bunny glanced at the normal type and then at her Pokémon. She bit her lip when she saw Balin close his eyes and his body slightly trembling.

I do not care about the crowds any more! I am going to call off the battle!

The woman was about to open her mouth until she saw the Ninetales open his eyes. Despite injury marks everywhere and breathing very deeply, Balin glanced at Bunny and smiled, as if he knew already that she wanted to call the battle off. The woman gasped when she saw a glow of determination in his eyes. Somehow, that made Bunny calmer, thus she nodded and then smiled.

I must think of an attack to use. I can do this!

"Balin, Iron Tail!" Bunny ordered in a more confident tone.

The Ninetales ran towards his opponent and then his glowing tails slammed onto the Pokémon’s body. The raccoon Pokémon fell down, but soon after slowly got up while panting. His blue eyes glanced at Balin, burning with revenge.

Bunny grinned. She now thought she might win this. Confidence rampaged through her mind.

Cannot believe Balin can handle blows that well sometimes. Maybe I can be able to go to Round Two!

At the stands, the crowd whistled in great approval and cheered louder than before. Violet smiled, quite satisfied at the turn of events.

"All right! Now, use Flamethrower!"

"Go through the Flamethrower and then use Headbutt!" Chris commanded in an assured tone.

The Ninetales released a stream of flames that was going towards the Linoone, but the rushing Pokémon went through the attack and then rammed into Balin.

"Nine!" the Ninetales screamed before he fell down on the ground.

"Haha, good work!" Chris cheered.

What the?

Bunny’s eyes went wide and she bit her bottom lip, anxiety pounding her head once again. When she glared at Chris, his smile made her even more nervous.

Why is he always so confident?

"Now for a Thunderbolt!"

"Get up and then use Shadow Ball!" Bunny yelled in a fearful tone. She was not sure if that would work, but knew something must be done in order to win this fight.

The Linoone’s fur faintly glowed yellow and then electricity exploded. Before the attack hit Balin though, he got up and dodged. The Ninetales unleashed a green ball, which then hit the Linoone’s body. After the normal type screamed, Balin chuckled and grinned.

"Yes!" Bunny said with her hand up in the air. "Finish off with Fire Blast!"

The Ninetales let loose a flame shaped like the letter X and was going towards the Linoone in rapid speed. Bunny glanced at Chris, whose smile grew bigger.

Wonder what next attack he has in mind now.


"Hyper Beam!" Chris yelled with poise.

The Linoone emitted a very bright beam from his mouth. The Hyper Beam was going towards the Ninetales at a faster speed then the Fire Blast.

Hyper Beam? Both of the Pokémon might get hurt!

Bunny knew Hyper Beam was one of the most powerful attacks a Pokémon can learn. That and Fire Blast colliding together could spell trouble. Her mouth began to tremble at the thought of that.

Both the fiery X and the white beam smashed together and then an explosion occurred. Puffs of smoke came out and then everyone either gasped or stayed silent with eyes wide open. Violet's eyes blinked rapidly and her thumb touched her bottom lip. Her heart began drumming in slow but loud beats.

Hope Balin is alright.

When the aftermath of the collusion faded, Balin was on the ground while the Linoone grinned and still stood strong. His breaths were loud and his fur was dirty, though.

"Winner, Chris’s Linoone!"

While Chris picked his Pokémon up and hugged him, Bunny went towards her Pokémon and lifted his head. She felt her breath getting louder but thinner. A single tear gushed down on her cheeks.

"Balin, are you okay?" Bunny asked in a whisper.

Please be all right, please be all right, please be all right…

The Ninetales slowly opened his eyes and then smiled.

"Tales!" he said weakly and then licked Bunny’s face.

The woman smiled and then quickly glanced at the Linoone. She sighed in relief, glad both Pokémon were okay.

Everyone suddenly whistled, clapped, and cheered, all very glad of the result of the battle. Violet sighed in relief and smiled, not minding Balin's loss. She then got out of her seat and sprinted downstairs.

"Okay Balin, I need to take you to the Pokémon Center."

Balin yelped in a happy tone. Bunny took out the Ninetales’s Pokèball and returned him. She then left the battlefield and saw Violet already out of the stage and waiting for her.

"That was really good, Bunny! See, you are a great battler! You looked nervous there, though."

Bunny chuckled and then said, "I am not that great. Seems Chris has been through a few Pokémon Leagues. Don‘t worry, I am better now."

Violet nodded and then said, "I guess we should go to the Pokémon Center now, right?"

Bunny nodded and then the two walked away from the tournament, the crowds cheering while the next battle was going on.

*****

SPLASH!

Shoot, another puddle of water.

He bolted as fast as he could. His heart kept beating faster and faster and he was always looking back and forth. The right hand was tucked under the pockets of his tan colored coat.

SPLASH!

He looked down and saw mud all over his new shiny boots.

Damn, another one!

Even though his surroundings were a blur to him while running, the man saw glimpses of the city in the night life. All of the buildings were closed except for the Jubilife TV Station and a few bars. On the ground, he saw confetti, broken bowls, and even blood. When he glanced at the moon, he groaned.

Wished for the night to go away.

He took deeper breaths. The man felt as if someone was strangling him, but knew he would need it.

I have to call her, NOW!

*****

"Hello, Officer Banks here…a DUI? Okay, got that!"

Inside the blue colored walls of the police station, almost everyone had his or her hands tied. There were many phone calls from citizens and police, which mostly dealt with drunks disturbing the peace and DUIs. Police officers kept coming in and out of the buildings, most entering with a troublemaker or two. Many cops were also busy with paperwork. One blue-haired officer’s phone would not be off the hook anytime soon.

"Hello, this is Officer Jenny…a couple of people vandalizing your shop? Okay, a couple of officers will have a look at that."

The female officer hung up on the phone and then wrote something on her notepad. After she finished, another officer, a black-haired male who did not look too fat or too skinny, waved to her. His brown eyes shone with delight and he grinned, the cheeks almost a pinkish color.

"Hello, Timmy," Jenny said while staring at his almost square-shaped face.

"Hi. Hey, do you think you can have a look at this case?" Timmy said while waving a blue note with his skinny fingers.

After Timmy handed her the note, she looked through it and then nodded.

"Hey, Jenny, when can…"

"I don’t like to be called Jenny," the female officer Jenny said with a sly smile. "I am not like my sisters and cousins, you know. Ella, remember?"

Timmy coughed and then said in an embarrassed tone, "Um, right, Ella. Anyways, do you want some coffee?"

Jenny shook her head and then said, "No, thanks. Sweet of you to ask, though."

Timmy coughed again but he began to blush. Officer Jenny did not notice his red cheeks, however. She was busy looking at the note.

I shouldn’t have asked her out like that just yet! Tonight is a busy night. Maybe next time I will tell her how I feel about her.

"Okay. Well, I will go make a few calls. I’ll be at my desk if you need me. See you later!"

Timmy waved to her good bye and then the female officer was about to get back to work until her cell phone suddenly rang.

Huh? Note to self: turn off cell phone while at work.

Despite that though, she answered the phone with a heavy sigh.

"Sweetie!" the voice said urgently.

Jenny gasped when she heard that voice that called her earlier. That made her insides flip.

"What the? Why you again?" she asked in a hissed tone, not wanting to create a commotion.

"I am being chased by someone! Please help me! And don’t forget what I told you this morning!"

Jenny’s eyes blinked and then rolled. She had a de ja vu feeling splashing in, her mind taking her back on that phone call. Annoyed of this repeated event, her fingers began drumming on the desk.

After she sighed heavily, the officer replied, "Okay…like before, I am confused. Can you tell me what is going on?"

"Sorry, can’t! Just do what I say! All will be revealed in due time!"

Jenny shook her head violently and her head began to spill with raged thoughts. No turning back to go to think it over.

DAMN HIM! Why is he always like that? Can’t he just say the truth for once?

She just wanted to say those thoughts aloud. For now, the officer kept it inside, afraid she might scare him away. Jenny wanted answers, she was very greedy for them.

"Look...I cannot help solve your problem unless…"

The phone hung up before she managed to finish it off.

"…you tell me".

For a few seconds she stared at the phone and then slowly gripped it harder.

Second time this happens today. He thinks I am going to help him, even if all he says is "Just help me!" For once, I wish he would tell me something that he isn’t keeping as a secret.

*****

It was quiet inside the Jubilife Museum, except for the snoring of a security guard. The building’s glass ceiling had made the bright full moon reveal the paintings and artifacts inside. The necklaces, orbs, and weapons shined intensely, as if they were engulfed in white flames. The paintings suddenly had glitter put onto them.

All of a sudden, someone’s foot stomped on the marbled floor. The person had his right hand inside the pocket of his long coat and whipped off the sweat from his forehead with his left hand. He stopped in an instant when he saw a painting and smirked.

Perfect.

The man took out a purple marker from his coat pocket and wrote something down on the painting. Apparently, no words could be seen when he finished writing it. The man then went up the stairs. His breathing was harsh and wheezy. He took a quick look at the security guard, who was still asleep.

Must be a heavy sleeper.

When he made it to the second floor, his eyes scanned the ground, and then ran towards the middle. He took out his marker and noted something on the ground. Like what happened to the painting, no words could be seen to the naked eye.

If I die, she will see this eventually. If I don’t, then I can at least show this to her and then instantly show her the rest…

For a while, the man stared down at the ground. He knew what he wrote might be unnecessary, but he was not taking chances. That writing was just in case something might happen to him.

The man was about to go back downstairs until he saw his worst fear.

In front of him, there was a man with a black jazz-like hat. There were wrinkles around his light blue eyes and his forehead. The gray suit and pants made him look like a businessman, but he was not one.

"Jacob!" the man yelled. He choked when that name soared out of his mouth.

"Ernest," Jacob said softly. "You think I am going to hurt you?"

"Yes," Ernest said nervously. His body began shaking and he was not able to control it. "I know what you want from me! It’s those things, huh?"

Jacob said nothing but just smiled and then nodded.

"Look, I am not giving them back!" Ernest yelled. Some spit attached on the man’s face.

Jacob sighed and then wiped the spit away. He thought the inside of his body felt colder.

"I knew you would say that."

"Go ahead, hurt me. Still, I will not tell you where they are. When I am gone, your search will be worth nothing."

Ernest spread out his arms, letting any target get to him. When he saw that, Jacob chuckled and shook his head.

"Ernest, again I am not going to hurt you. I am the one that should be hurt since I will keep nagging you about it," Jacob said with a tiny smile. The tone of his voice was of careful thought, of hidden deception.

Half of Ernest’s body went back a little bit. He knew that Jacob was right, that the pestering would stop if he were to be hurt. On the other hand, his reputation will be ruined.

Never heard of an archeologist committing a crime. My career would go downhill if I hurt Jacob. Over my dead body, then!


"Well, whoever gets hurt, I am not giving away where they are," Ernest said while lifting his chin up.

Jacob thought the coldness took hold of his body more than ever. He thought his friend would co-operate after three years. Boy, was he wrong.

"You know what, Jacob, the more I think about it, the more I realized that you actually want them for yourself," Ernest continued. "I am one hundred percent."

The flames suddenly melted the coldness inside Jacob’s body, but also confusion came of it. Now his mind froze.

"What?"

"The things you said in the past, you did that so that you can get them," Ernest said in a soft but positive tone. "I think you really wanted it for yourself!"

"What?" Jacob asked again, fury and bewilderment inside him almost to the boiling point. "I do not get what you mean!"

"You heard me! You wanted what I discovered, you wanted it all to yourself! That is why I hid them from you! JUST SAY SO, YOU DAMN IDIOT!"

That was when Ernest crossed Jacob’s boiling point. Automatically, Jacob punched Ernest’s head, which then made him fall down the stairs. Each time he fell down the thumps got louder and harder. When Jacob did not hear the crushing noises any more, he felt coldness inside his heart.

"Ernest, are you all right?"

No sound.

Jacob’s mouth shuttered when he heard nothing. Realization hit him hard, more than Ernest’s fall.

No…he can’t be!

He was about to go downstairs to check to see if Ernest was fine, but then heard someone’s voice.

"Huh? Who’s there?"

Jacob quickly hid behind a statue of the legendary Pokémon Suicune nearby. The beautiful dog Pokémon with flowing ribbons on her body and some sort of crystallized sphere on her head took his breath away. He smiled at it, already forgetting about what had happened to Ernest. Underneath the statue, there was some writing, which Jacob read inside his head:

Suicune, the Legendary Pokémon of Johto
Tames the northern winds, purifies the gentle water
Believed to create the clean Johto waters

So that was whom the people of Johto believed causes the creation of water, Jacob thought in amazement. In truth, he knew about Suicune, but had never seen that Pokémon in real life, or at least a life-size replica of it. He turned his gaze away from the Suicune statue when he heard the guard’s voice.

"Oh my gosh, he could be dead!"

Jacob felt as if his heart stopped thumping, his focus back on Ernest. His worst fear became true. He bit his lip very tightly, and blood almost came out.

Dead? DEAD? I really didn’t mean to do that. I must get out of here while I still have a chance!

Taking advantage of the opportunity, Jacob ran as fast as he could and managed to make it outside the museum. The guard did not notice anything, as he was too busy calling 911.

*****

Back at the police station, it was still quite busy. Disturbing the peace were more calls from citizens and police rummaging through them. Officer Jenny did not answer any phone calls as something went through her mind.

Maybe he is in a rush. Now these days time seems to matter to everyone. Still, he kept everything secret…unless, he is forced or has no choice but to have to?

Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt a tap in the shoulder. She turned around and saw the same male officer whom left a note to her an hour ago.

"Oh, hello Timmy. Done with that vandalizing shop case?" Jenny asked with a gigantic smile. Seeing Timmy was a rush of relief to her.

"Yep," Timmy said with a grin. A blush bloomed on his cheeks, but it was too small for Jenny to see. "However, I think you will like this one, and it is not from the Fair aftershock. There was a break in case at the Jubilife History Museum."

Jenny’s eyes went wide with excitement and her smile became larger.

"Really? He or she must have picked the right time to come in, then. I heard the security cameras aren’t working now at the moment because of a few Rattata eating the wires."

"Yeah, but this is a weird one. The security guard said that he found a body lying still on the floor. Also, when the paramedics arrived, they pronounced him dead. And oh, his name is Ernest Norrison."

The woman’s smile faded away in an instant and her mouth became spacious. She felt her world turn upside down.

Timmy stared at her with his right eye wider than his left. He could tell something was definitely wrong while looking at her.

"Hey, are you okay?"

The blue-haired officer shook her head and then said, "Huh? Um…yeah. So, what are we going to do over there?"

"We are going to question the security guard and then check in some possible clues."

Jenny said nothing more but nodded. Inside her head, though, there was a haze of confusion. Part of her wanted to mourn the loss of Ernest. Part of her wanted to just dance the whole night away.

The male officer was not satisfied by her answer. His eyes blinked speedily and he looked at Jenny for a long time before he smiled back, though it was a fake one.

Wonder what is going on in Ella’s mind. Maybe that is none of my business. Hope she will be okay soon.

***

Hehe, someone else besides Brock likes Jenny! XD

Here is a bit of a new feature. Each time there are a few scenes similar to "Da Vinci Code", I will do a quick compare/contrast thing in spoliers ( for those that hadn't read the book yet ^^). Also, sorry in advance if I wrote anything wrong. Has been a bit since I read the book. XD I did this to show the differences between this story and the book and how I am trying my best to make it my own. ^^

-All right, one of first similarities is the museum. Originally, I was thinking of having it in the Canalave Library, but for some odd reason, it won't work out. XD Yeah, I could have use the museum where you get the first badge on D/P, but...that won't work either. XD
-One of my main irks on the book is how they didn't do much depth on the policemen. So yeah, going to try my best to do that (and not make it cliche o_O). Remember Timmy's crush on Jenny? That will be important later on. ;)
-There are a few more stuff, but will say those things as the story progresses
-The second difference is there is no albino man that is doing the job for someone else. XD
Again, hope you guys enjoy the chapter! Hope to get the third chapter posted sometime next month! ^^
 
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duncan

Well-Known Member
Heh, I was thinking about the Da Vinci Code throughout the whole museum scene as well. Not quite as violent, but you recreated the scene very nicely. I loved the original, and you did a good job.

The battle with the knight looking guy again reminded me of the beginning of the Lucario movie. The whole festival was one of my favorite parts of the movie, and you did a good job here as well.

I don't know why, but lately I've been a lot pickier in my reviews. Ah well, on with the pickiness!

After the attack was over, the Linoone sprinted a few steps back and then chuckled at his opponent. Bunny glanced at the normal type and then at her Pokémon. She bit her lip when she saw Balin close his eyes and his body slightly trembling.

This didn't flow very well. Instead of just listing off what happens, try making it more interesting. Add description wherever you can and make it sound interesting. That didn't make much sense, but just try not to list what happens off. Okay?

The raccoon Pokémon fell down, but later slowly got up while panting.

This didn't sound right, either. Later would be better if he would have gotten up after a while, which you didn't specify. This happened several times through out the chapter, so slow down and try to catch things like this.

The Linoone’s fur faintly glowed yellow and then electricity exploded. Before the attack hit Balin though, he got up and dodged. The Ninetales later unleashed a black and red ball, which then hit the Linoone’s body. After the normal type screamed, Balin chuckled and then grinned.

Here again, you're just listing off what happens. Make it sound more interesting, you know? Add what the Pokemon were thinking, things like that. Oh, and a side note. Ghost type attacks usually don't do anything to normal types. Not a big deal or anything, but it's something to keep in mind.

His right hand was tucked under the pockets of his tan colored coat.

His should be here instead of the.

After she finished, another officer, a black-haired male who did not look too fat or too skinny, waved to her.

Not to fat or too skinny? Erm, interesting description there...

The person had his right hand inside the pocket of his long coat and whipped off the sweat from his forehead with his left hand.

The instead of that. I understand that you didn't have your beta reader, but small things like that can be caught by just reading it to yourself aloud. That way if something doesn't sound right you'll catch it easier.

I've got to say, this is getting very interesting. I really liked the Da Vinci Code, and you did a fine job recreating it here. I really look forward to see what happens next!
 

DarkPersian479

Well-Known Member
but later slowly got up while panting.
I'd get rid of either "slowly" or "later" depending on how long it took Balin to recover from the hit.

I can't believe Balin can handle blows very well sometimes.
The "very well" there irks me for some reason. Personally, I'd replace it with "that well" or "that easily."

Inside the blue colored walls of the police station

Okay, a couple of officers will have a look at that.

Jenny wanted answers, she was very greedy for them

In truth, he knew about Suicune, but had never seen that Pokémon

Most of what I quoted above were examples of choppy sentences that didn't flow all that well. There were a few others, but these stood out the most.

Description was decent, but the battle could have used some more descriptions (i.e., of the reactions of the Pokemon). However, I'm not going to tell you that you have to include the thoughts of the Pokemon, as it's more of a writing style than a requirement (I don't go into the Pokemon's thoughts, and I noticed that you didn't in the last chapter, so I figured it was your style of writing.)

The mystery at the museum was intriguing, though I haven't seen any of the Da Vinci Code (and I really don't have the time to do so in the forseeable future...) Still, i thought it took an awful lot of shouting by Ernest and Jacob to awake the guard. maybe the guy sleeps with earplugs or something.

And I thought the inter-office romance between Timmy and Jenny (Ella) was cute. And w00t for her trying to differentiate herself from her sisters.

I'm sure that whatever secret Ernest had (and that Jacob desperately wanted to find out) will play a big role in the mystery. What that secret is, though... I'm drawing a blank. Your betas have fixed up the tense mistakes but some of the choppy sentences remain.

Nonetheless, you've crafted a very engaging mystery here, and that is what's keeping me glued to this fic. Well, that and the fact that Bunny is one of my fave characters for reasons I've already said in previous reviews:)
 

Bay

YEAHHHHHHH
All right, luckily my midterms are out of the way and Thanksgiving is coming soon, so have some time to reply! ^^

duncan: Some good pointers you make there. Well, the reason I sort of make it into a list is I am trying to make the battle go fast pace. Okay, will try to beef up battle descriptions. About Timmy's size...I guess medium would be a better word! XD

Also, the battle reminds you of the beginning of the 8th movie? Dang it, still hadn't seen it yet. >.> I just look at the pictures and that is how I got inspired to do that scene, actually. ^^;;;

The Great Butler: Glad you enjoyed it. And about the archelogical find...you will find out sooner or later! ^^

DarkPersian479:Hehe, glad you like the romance between Timmy and Jenny, although it is Timmy that has a crush on her! XD And about the secruity guard...well, he is a very heavy sleeper! I can be too sometimes! XD

Again, thank you all three for reviewing! Will correct the grammar mistakes either a bit later tonight or tomorrow. Yay for having no discussions tomorrow night! XD

Now, sorry everyone that I didn't do a preview when I posted the chapter. I was in a bit of a rush. ^^;;; Also, this preview is a bit different. It's more like those scenes TV shows do after the end of an episode. All righty then, here it is:

+Preview for Chapter Three: Cold Feelings+​

[Scene opens with an old woman staring at a statue of Giratina. Her wrinkled face showed fear and sadness mixed together.]

"I don't know why, but something is not right."

[Scene changes to Bunny and Balin about to go to sleep but then someone was knocking the door. Both woke up and then the woman opened the door, only to see Officers Jenny and Timmy.]

[Scene back to the old woman. Her face grew more with fear.]

"I can feel it, hundreds miles away."

[Scene changes to Bunny about to close the bathroom door, but was staring at Officer Jenny].


"Something is definetly wrong."

[Scene changes to the two officers, Bunny, and Balin inside the Jublife Museum. Bunny's eyes gleams with excitement.]

[Scene back to old woman, this time staring at her Misdreavus]

"Mis?"

“I feel…something isn’t right here. The sprits are mad.”

[Scene goes black but the old woman's voice is still heard].

"Chapter Three, Cold Feelings, coming in December."
 
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Sike Saner

Peace to the Mountain
Oh snap, Jacob accidentally killed Ernest. o.o See, Jacob, this is why doing something reckless like punching someone at the top of a flight of stairs is generally an unwise thing to do. X3

And one thing I find myself wondering is if there might be extra significance to the fact that a statue of Suicune was briefly given the spotlight in the museum scene. Is it simply that Jacob took particular notice of the statue he was hiding behind because it caught his attention and interest, or might there be something more to it... might the brief focus on the subject of Suicune hint at Suicune being of further significance to the story?

Well, at any rate, I'll be here again for the next chapter! ^^
 

Bay

YEAHHHHHHH
Sike Saner:

Oh snap, Jacob accidentally killed Ernest. o.o See, Jacob, this is why doing something reckless like punching someone at the top of a flight of stairs is generally an unwise thing to do. X3

Yep, yep. XD

And one thing I find myself wondering is if there might be extra significance to the fact that a statue of Suicune was briefly given the spotlight in the museum scene. Is it simply that Jacob took particular notice of the statue he was hiding behind because it caught his attention and interest, or might there be something more to it... might the brief focus on the subject of Suicune hint at Suicune being of further significance to the story?

Well, you are getting warmer. XD I will tell you this: Suicune is not going to be in the story. However, the inscription of the statue is important and one of the things I am aming for.

"Legendary Pokemon of Johto" and if you read the preview back when I posted it in late August. That's all the hints I am going to give at the moment. :X

Thanks for the review and glad you will be sticking around.:)

Okay guys...hadn't really made much progress on the editing of the third chapter because of college and work. >.> However, here is something sweet. If any of you read the preview thread I posted in late August, I put in two previews of Chapter Three. I added a bit more meat on those scenes so I hope it is better then before.

Well, I will try to get the chapter by December, but I will busy with a lot of things. Stay tuned guys. And oh, I can't believed that I am voted "Most Improved Writer" at the Fanfic Awards. Thanksies to who voted for me! I promised to keep improving! ;)
 

Bay

YEAHHHHHHH
Oy, here I bring a new chapter!

I was originally going to wait until I finish with my finals, but decided to post this at midnight before I go to sleep for a couple of reasons. I will be busy with work and also going to focus on this little four week competition at another forum (won’t say much about it because of spam). Okay, enough of me talking. Here is the new chapter! And oh, thanks to Hanako Tabris for betaing this chapter! Thankies! ^_^

Chapter Three
Cold Feelings

That night Bunny was staying in her hotel room. Balin was on the bed while she was talking on her cell phone. The Ninetales began watching a commercial of PokeChow, his nine tails wagging in swift motion.

"PokeChow…now with twenty percent more meat inside!"

Balin bounced up and down and then yelled, "Nine, nine!"

"Balin! Keep quiet! On the phone right now!"

That made the Pokemon quiet down. He turned back to the television with a sly smile on his face. Bunny’s eyes stared at the walls while listening to the caller. One sniff of the vanilla scented candle on top of the drawer made her sigh quietly in a happy tone.

"Oh, that’s great, Bunny! Glad you had fun."

"Yeah. Too bad you could not have made it to the fair, Mrs. Davis."

"I know. Just a couple of hours ago I came back from my cousin’s wedding. Maybe one day a couple of my Pokemon can go against yours."

Bunny giggled and then answered, "Yeah, that would be great. Well, see you soon."

"Can’t wait. Bye, Bunny."

Bunny hung up on her cell phone, put it on the small desk beside the window, and fell onto the bed. Her hands ruffled Balin’s fur.

"Excited to go back home, boy?"

"Tales!" the Ninetales cheered.

"Good. Now, remember to behave, all right?"

The Ninetales nodded and then cried "Tales" cheerfully again.

After Bunny chuckled, she turned off the television and then both were getting ready to sleep. The two were not able to shut their eyes though when they heard loud banging noises coming from the door.

"What?" Bunny complained while Balin tilted his head.

The woman quickly grabbed a bathrobe to cover her nightgown and then opened the door. She gasped when she saw two police officers, a male and female.

"Um…can I help you?"

Her heart began beating quickly. Part of Bunny told her the reason why the officers came.

If it is about that noise disturbance, it is from that man a few doors down that is watching football.

"Are you Bunny Spruce?" asked the male officer.

Bunny just nodded, but her eyes began blinking quickly. Each second her heart pounded faster and faster.

Is it something serious?

"Well, this is Officer Jenny here and I’m Officer Timmy. We got a few questions of the death of Ernest Norrison and also we would like you to come with us at to crime scene."

Confusion struck her mind. The male officer’s words were just scattered puzzles to Bunny.

Questions. Death of Ernest Norrison. Crime scene. Why am I being involved in all of this?

After Bunny shook her head and opened her eyes bigger, she only managed to answer, "What?"

"There are some things at the crime scene that maybe you can help us with. It won’t take long."

At first Bunny wanted to tell them to get out, but she did not want to be rude. Besides, they are the police. Not only that, that name actually rang a bell to her, but very softly.

Ernest Norrison. Heard that name before. Hm…maybe this could be my chance to see if I can remember that guy.

Even though it was weird of her to accept the police’s invitation to solve their case, the archeologist liked to explore new things. Wanting to know more about Ernest was like a couple of her archeological trips. She faintly heard about artifacts from books and documentaries but then found out more about them each time she dug a scoop of sand from the spot where they were hidden.

Bunny sighed in relief, knowing she made her decision. Balin’s ears twitched when he heard that, and was not sure what kind of emotion was brought out, a happy or sad one.

"Okay, I will tag along. Let me change first."

The two nodded and then Bunny went to grab a couple of clothes from the drawer. She then went inside the bathroom, Balin following behind. Before the woman closed the door though, she stared at Officer Jenny. Something about that woman made Bunny take an interest in her.

She had not said a word yet.

When she brushed off that thought, Bunny closed the door.

***

I don't know why, but something is not right.

The winds blew violently on Route 209, the waters rippling and the trees shaking. The Pokemon under the grass covered themselves their heads, hoping to not fly away. The only thing that did not move or take cover was a five story stone building.

Up on the fifth floor of the Lost Tower, a white haired woman took out the glasses from her beady gray eyes and used the top part of her dress to clean it. After she finished cleaning them, the woman, Brenda, put them back on and saw a black colored ghost with hints of violet on the bottom tips of its hair. The Misdreavus’s red necklace on its neck gave off a faded glow.

"Misdreavus!" the ghost Pokemon cheered to the old woman. Brenda turned around and smiled.

"Hi, Misdreavus. Can’t seem to sleep again."

Something on the woman’s mind made her shiver, but she did not want to say it to her Pokemon. She always hated to see the Misdreavus being worried. Thinking about that had her hands quivering.

I can feel it, hundreds of miles away.

Brenda sighed and then stared at a huge statue in front of her. Its tiny eyes made the two shuddered. Misdreavus squeaked and then went behind Brenda. Compared to its petite wings, the armless Dragon Pokemon’s six legs were much thicker. Underneath was the writing of its legend:

Giratina, the Legendary Pokemon of Sinnoh
Believed to live in another world and wander around in cemeteries
Thought to cause death to Sinnoh humans and Pokemon

In an instant, Brenda felt something weird inside her body. She really could not explain what kind of feeling it was. It was more like of rain and snow clashing together, if that was possible. Even though she could not explain it, Brenda knew what it meant and gasped.

Something is definitely wrong.

After looking at the statue for a while, Brenda turned around to face her Misdreavus. The ghost Pokemon could tell from the look on the woman’s newly pale shaded face that something was wrong.

"Mis?" the Pokemon asked with her mouth in a frown.

"I feel…something isn’t right here. The sprits are mad."

***

Bunny was in the backseat of the police car. The leather seats and Balin on her lap made her body sweat. While the car drove slowly, she saw a few drunken men run away behind a liquor building, one male police officer running after them. The lady sighed with her eyes closed.

Afterparties.

"So Bunny, ever met Ernest before?" asked Timmy.

"Huh?" Bunny asked, now paying attention to what the police were going to say.

"I said, have you ever met Ernest before. Or at least, heard of his name?"

The bells rang softly again. Once more, Bunny wondered where she heard that name.

Ernest, Ernest, Ernest…Sounds familiar. Have I met him before?

She thought hard of all the historians, archeologists, mythologists, and any other person who worked in a profession related to history. Besides, it was weird to her that she was in question for someone she was not too familiar with. The memory suddenly struck her mind and then Bunny grinned in victory.

"Wait, I think so," Bunny answered after she snapped her fingers. "He’s a friend of my Sinnoh Pokemon History professor, Mr. Alexison. My professor invited me to see him a few times for a cup of tea, quite a nice and witty guy. The last time I met Ernest was a few days before graduation, which was four years ago."

For some reason, the thought of not having seen Ernest since four years ago made Bunny twitch.

"Kept in touch with your professor a lot? Also, what kind of profession does Ernest work in?" asked the male police officer.

"Yeah, once every while. Had not talked to him in a few months though because of our busy schedule. And for your other question, I think he was a Pokemon archeologist like my professor. Mr. Alexison said that there were some projects the two did together."


After that, there was silence on the rest of the way. During the silence, Bunny could not help but notice the female officer’s quietness again. She let herself think while petting Balin, who slept ever since they entered the car.

For some reason, that police woman is quiet. I wonder why.

***

Canalave City, the port city with many sailors and sea loving people living there. The sea flowed soothingly, a few Wingulls just trying to catch some fish. Hundreds of boats parked next to the wooden ports. The small city was empty except for a few sailors cleaning or getting ready their boats.

A small flash of rainbows instantaneously appeared. The glow later faded and revealed Jacob and a skinny, tall bird Pokemon that used the Teleport technique. The Pokemon folded its white wings against its green body.

"Xatu!" the psychic Pokemon screeched.

"Come on, let’s go to the inn!"

Jacob and the rounded face bird Pokemon turned around and saw a stone building with a statue of a Wailmer on top of the roof. A sign was on top of the building with the words "Harbor Inn" in medieval writing. In great haste, the two went inside that inn.

***

Bunny, Balin, and the two police officers went inside the museum. Both Bunny and her Pokemon felt a cold sensation inside their hearts. The woman rubbed her arms to keep herself warm while Balin used his tails.

"Tales," Balin muttered softly. His shoulders began to tremble.

"I know Balin, I am scared too," Bunny whispered. Despite smiling, her shoulders shook too.

The two walked slowly behind the officers. They could not help themselves but take a peek at the artifacts and the paintings. Balin smiled while Bunny gasped. The woman’s eyes became wide and glittered the same way some artifacts were.

Man, many beautiful artifacts and so much history behind it. No wonder I became an archeologist.

Before Bunny knew it, she was upstairs and saw her Pokemon and the police officers in a circle. The young woman craned her neck but was not able to see what they were looking at, though she got an idea of what it could be.

Dead body?

That thought made Bunny squeak and her shoulders shuttered. Despite that, she moved closer and when she was next to Balin, she sighed in relief but then instantly got confused.

There was nothing. At least, at first.

Good, there is no dead body…but why are we looking at the floor?

Bunny turned around when she felt a tap on the shoulder and saw Officer Timmy with a nightlight.

"Have a look."

Even though Bunny had an uneasy feeling about this, she just grabbed the nightlight and then turned it on. A flash of purple lit up the ground. Bunny moved the light upwards and then stopped at the writing:


-E:
Check out the Lapras

At first, Bunny did not take those words seriously and shook her head. She just assumed it was a logical thought.

Probably wanted "E" to check out some Lapras.

That was when she knew something was not right there. One of her eyes went wide.

Hold on…why would he leave a message here, during closing time?

"Hey Bunny, are you going to hunt down Lapras anytime soon?" Officer Timmy asked with a chuckle.

Bunny turned around and stared at Timmy with wide eyes and mouth open.

"No. Why you ask that?"

"Just wondering," the male officer answered causally.

Balin growled softly, already knowing there was something up. Bunny glanced at her Pokemon and nodded, agreeing with him. Luckily the officer did not hear it, busy looking at his watch.

Something is fishy here. Maybe it’s just a guy thing, to hunt.

"Well, I’ll right back. I’ve an important phone call to attend to. Jenny, watch over her." He got up and then went down the stairs.

Bunny turned around to look at the words again. She now felt that there was some meaning behind the words.

E. Check out the Lapras. Hm…maybe my first guess is wrong.

"I actually know why Officer Timmy asked that."

That actually scared Bunny to death. Half of her body rose up and she screamed so loud a few of the items quivered. Her heart began pumping quickly. When she turned around, she saw both Officer Jenny and Balin laughing.

Okay…Officer Jenny not able to talk is out of the question, she thought sourly.

"Sorry, Bunny. I always get kicks out of people being scared in the right opportunity."

"Well, maybe it is because this is the first time ever that I heard you talk."

Balin had stopped laughing and then nodded. Officer Jenny did that too but her huge smile turned to a frown.

"Okay, I know you are confused as to why you’re here. Long story short, you’re actually going to jail."

***

Yeah once again, the ending scene is similar to Da Vinci Code. As to how the next few scenes will be…to tell you the truth, there are some that are almost like that novel and some that I make my own twist. ;)

Now, for the differences:
-On the hotel scene, I had Bunny wondering about Jenny’s quietness.
-I don’t actually remember if the main character Ron and the dead victim from Da Vinci Code knew each other very well, but in this one I have Bunny met Ernest a couple times before…which will be important later on this story. ;)

I think that’s all I can think about at the moment.

Well, sorry if this chapter isn’t much. This is to get the main action warm up. ^^ Also, about Brenda, she is loosely based on one of the old woman in the Lost Tower in the D/P games. She’s really fun to write about. XD

Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy it. Chapter Four shall come in January. Will do trailer later…right now it’s almost one o’ clock in the morning and I’m tired (dang finals coming up >.>).
 
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duncan

Well-Known Member
Hmm, not a bad chapter. There were problems, however:

That made the Pokemon quiet down and he back to watching the television with a smile.

Here is a case of show don't tell. Instead, try something like this:

That made the Pokemon quiet down. He turned back to the television with a sly smile on his face.

See how that sounds and looks better?

Up on the fifth floor of the Lost Tower, a white haired woman took out the glasses from her beady gray eyes and used the top part of her dress to clean it. After she finished cleaning them, Brenda put them back on and saw a black colored ghost with hints of violet on the bottom tips of its hair.

This is pretty small, but you actually didn't introduce her as Brenda. It might have looked better by revealing her name, not just throwing it in as a side note.

Brenda sighed and then stared at a huge statue in front of her. Its tiny eyes somehow got to both the old woman and her ghost Pokemon. Misdreavus squeaked and then went behind Brenda.

This was slightly confusing. Try rewording it to make more sense. :)

For some reason, that police woman is quiet. I wonder why?

Canalave City, the port city with many sailors and sea loving people living there.

Here again this doesn't work. Lots more description is needed here. Not much else I can say about that, though.

The woman was rubbing her arms while they were tucked on her chest while Balin used his tails (at least, half of his body was able to be covered).

Huh? Yeah, that didn't make much sense.

Sorry for the negative review, but it was a good chapter. I'm quite looking forward to see what happens next. :D
 

The Great Butler

Hush, keep it down
That was interesting.

Were you going for a surprise twist at the end when Jenny told Bunny she was going to jail? Sorry, but I saw it coming quite a ways earlier.

The Harbor Inn? Hmmm....

And Giratina. I've been on a big Giratina kick since Giratina and the Bouquet of the Sky was announced, so I like its presence here.
 

DarkPersian479

Well-Known Member
Yeah, taking a break from studying to review (especially since I don't want to have a lot to review when the actual exams hit...)

First... STOP! GRAMMAR TIME!
That made the Pokemon quiet down and he went back to watching the television with a smile

put it on the small desk beside the window, and fell onto the bed. Her hands ruffled Balin’s fur.

She faintly heard about artifacts from books and documentaries but then found out more about them each time she dug a scoop of sand from the spot where they were hidden.
Number agreement with plural, "artifacts."

We got a few questions of the death of Ernest Norrison and also, we would like you to come with us to the crime scene.

Bunny sighed in relief, knowing she made her decision.

The winds blew violently on Route 209, the waters rippling and the trees shaking. The Pokemon under the grass covered themselves with their heads

"Huh?" Bunny asked, now paying attention to what the police were going to say.

"I said, have you ever met Ernest before? Or at least, heard of his name?"

I wonder why
Missing punctuation. Not sure if you wanted a question mark or an ellipsis.

They could not help themselves but take a peek at the artifacts

A few other things:
Jenny, watch over her." He later got up and then went down the stairs.
Here's the usage of "later" again. Granted, this isn't as hectic as a battle, but the "later" still feels out of place.

a white haired woman took out the glasses from her beady gray eyes and used the top part of her dress to clean it. After she finished cleaning them, Brenda put them back on
Not the best way to introduce a character, as it's rather ambiguous. Actually, it would have worked better if you reworded it, "After she finished cleaning them, the woman, Brenda, put them back on" as then it's clear that Brenda was the woman described in the previous sentence.

And a couple of passages that didn't flow all that well.
"Yeah. Too bad you could not have made it to the fair, Mrs. Davis."
Not sure if this was your intention, but she almost sounds too stuffy and formal with how she avoids the use of contractions. In normal, everyday speech (such as downtime with a Pokemon) speech is usually more relaxed.
Long story short, don't be afraid to say "couldn't have" instead of "could not have." It just sounds more natural for casual conversation.

but she did not want to be rude. Besides, they are the police.
Again, "didn't" and "they're" would flow better.

Now, I understand that you're paralleling the Da Vinci Code here, but Bunny's arrest seemed drawn out and risky on the part of the officers. If she was suspected of the murder, I would have fully expected the police to do a "COPS"-style takedown, complete with the officers ramming down the door and shouting, "On the floor! Hands behind your back! Now!" By transporting her to the crime scene, with her Ninetales outside of his Pokeball, no less, the officers risk her pulling off an escape or using her Pokemon to burn them to a crisp. Now, I know Bunny's not the type of person to do that, but the officers don't know her personality. Plus, people can act strangely out of character if they feel threatened.

The scenes with Jacob and Brenda seemed... random. I'm sure that both play a part in the plot, but the way that the scenes quickly switched interrupts the flow. If you were to expand on those brief scenes, perhaps adding in additional detail and thoughts, it would work better, as then the scene shift wouldn't be so abrupt.

With all that crit though, the mystery of Giratina and Bunny's arrest certainly thickens the plot, and I am looking forward to the next chapter! And you'll have plenty of time over break to go over and make sure it's the best it can be:)
 

Bay

YEAHHHHHHH
duncan: Seriously, that sentence of Brenda and her Pokemon being scared of the statue is probably the hardest sentence I had written! There was an original sentence of that that Hanako told me to rewrite. XD

Again, thanks for the review and glad that you made some good pointers. Yeah, now at the moment trying to make the sentences flow better and also trying to rid of the "show, don't tell" thing. Am trying! ^^

The Great Bulter: Really? I admit that I am not the best person when dealing with mystery! XD I am not that worried though. I am actually more worried about the characters and the themes. So yeah, I do hope that even if this story has not the greatest plot in the world that at least the themes and characters are memorable. :)

And yeah, heard of that 11th Pokemon movie. Weird I posted this chapter the same day the title of that movie came. o_O


DarkPersian:Yeah, I think I could have think more through of how Timmy and Jenny approach Jenny. However, in the next couple of chapters there will be an explination of why they did that (and I hope it will be a good one. ^^; )

Also, I admit that the Ernest scene is a bit random and would have been better in the next chapter (which will go a bit more indepth of his character). The Brenda one...well, I had revised that scene about two/three times. I guess it didn't work out. :( However, she is an important character (though much later) and I had fun writing her.

And on that contractions problem of Bunny...

Yeah, that is my intention because later on in the story Bunny reveals how she is trying to act more mature than everyone else and thinks she is better than some other people. Later though, Jenny will ask about that. XD

If another character did not used contractions though, then it's probably because I didn't catch that. ^^; I tend to just type without thinking of using or not using contractions. And of no contractions because of no narration...to tell you the truth, the reason I did that is because I kept having English teachers telling me to not write in contractions on my essays. Because of that, I am used to trying to not having contractions in my writings. o_O

So yeah, I am going to try to have contractions on the speeches and thoughts (besides Bunny's) but not in narration because I am used to having narraiton not in contractions. So sorry. ^^; However, will fix those grammar mistakes when I have the time and also will try to find them harder. ^^

Again, thanks for the reviews everyone! Also, thanks duncan and DarkPersian for recommending this fic, despite many bumps in this one! ^^;

Okay, so far I got done editing Chapters Four, Five, and Six (at least the first rounds of them). For now I want to focus of the flow, descripton, and the emotions of the chapters first before I tackle grammar. However, I hope to get done editing Book 1 and ready to be betated by Hanako by the time winter break is over. It will be a slow process as this winter there were a few things I need to get done. Well, happy holidays!
 

Sike Saner

Peace to the Mountain
Good ol' Balin. I thought he was very cute in that chapter, especially when he was going nuts for that PokeChow commercial and when he was wrapping himself up in his own tails as best as he could in an effort to try and ward off that creepy, chilling sensation he was getting. ^^

I'm interested to see what significance Giratina might have to the plot. That's assuming Giratina will have significance to the plot, of course. Well, right now I'm inclined to think it will, but even if it won't, I'm interested to see what happens next. ^^
 

Bay

YEAHHHHHHH
Sike Saner: Yeah, he's very cute and that's why I love him! (hugs Balin)

And well, yes and no on Giratina. I will say though that like Suicuine, the statue is important. ^^

Again, thanks for the review!

Okay, an early Christmas treat for everyone. I'm going to now review the rest of Part One's titles. (They'll be also put on first page in a few):

Chapter 5: Realizations
Chapter 6: Almost Vanished from Earth
Chapter 7: Of Flights
Chapter 8: History Books
Chapter 9: Circumstances
Chapter 10: High Sky Battle
Chapter 11: Intentions and Truths
Chapter 12: All in Perspectives
Chapter 13: An Unlucky Interlude: Carved in Silence

Yeah, a couple of them are spoilerish. :X

EDIT: Shoot, got a couple announcements!

1) Expect the release date of this fic on January 1st if my beta can get it done by that date. ;)

2)So far I've been busy editing the rest of the fic and I'm actually now at the last chapter (which will need some editing). So yeah, I hope to get the fic as much polished as possible before I go back to school on January 5th. XD

Happy Holidays, everyone!
 
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Bay

YEAHHHHHHH
Happy New Years, everyone! All right, here's Chapter Four! And oh, thanks Hanako Tabris for betaing!

Chapter Four
Zap, and You’re Safe​

The Xatu looked outside the window. The night started to become foggy. After the long gaze, the bird Pokémon flew towards Jacob. The man just lied there on the bed and stared at the old paintings of boats pinned onto the walls.

"Xatu?" the bird Pokémon asked.

Jacob slowly turned around, smiled, and patted his Pokémon’s head.

"Hi there, buddy. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine."

Jacob lied. He knew everything was not fine. The accidental murder of Ernest was still fresh in his mind. He felt his head swirl in a thousand directions.

Me, a murderer. But it was an accident! I didn’t mean to do it!


His eyes swiftly became watery. Everything seemed blurry except for the digital clock on the wall. The time was now ten minutes to eleven. He cried silently, wanting all this to be a dream. The same thought kept repeating in his mind.

This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening.

Eventually his eyes became drowsy and he fell asleep.

***

The last few seconds felt like forever to Bunny. Her going to jail. She felt her body numb up and Beautifly flying inside her stomach. Her breath began to deepen and slow down. When she finally opened her mouth, her voice echoed in the museum, but luckily not loud enough to shatter some of the artifacts.

"Wait, JAIL? HOW?"

All of a sudden, Jenny grinned and then grabbed Bunny’s arm. The Pokémon archeologist’s eyes widened and she heard Balin screaming the loudest he could muster. A hint of gladness came inside her heart. She was happy her Pokémon was concerned for her. However, she was still worried about what was going on.

Is she going to take me to Officer Timmy? Oh dear no!


Her prediction went wrong. Instead of going downstairs, Jenny led her to the bathroom. When the three came inside, the female officer took out a photo from her shirt pocket and gave it to Bunny.

"This should probably answer half of your questions."

Taking her word for it, Bunny looked at the photo and gasped. It was a picture of the writing on the floor that she saw earlier, except for five extra words:

-E:
Check out the Lapras.
First though, get Bunny Spruce.


’First though, get Bunny Spruce.’ Then that means…PLEASE NO!


Once again Bunny felt her body numb and her throat being strangled. She tried to tell herself maybe it was something else she was going to jail for. No matter how much she wanted that to happen, it was highly unlikely. The police were asking questions of Ernest’s death and they found their possible murderer.

"You two think I murdered Ernest Norrison? Are you two trying to play a game on me?"

Just like that, Jenny gave an uproarious laugh. Both Bunny and Balin could tell that she was very embarrassed when the officer put her hand on her head and her cheeks were blushing.

"Well…Timmy’s sort of, but not me. You see, he thought what he did is a better way to catch criminals instead of the usual catch and then questioning. In a way, it’s true as most criminals don’t come out and say they committed the crime."

While Jenny laughed loudly again, both Bunny and her Ninetales stared at her in disbelief, mouths closed tight and eyes blinking slowly.

"How about the risks? You do not know me and I have a Ninetales here that could have easily burnt you two to ashes!"

"Nine!" the Pokémon said and nodded.

"Aw, don’t tell me this sweet Pokémon would do that!" Jenny cooed in a tone someone would use while holding a baby.

The officer kneeled down and began petting Balin. The fire type growled softly to himself. He had a very patient mind when he was not in battle, but each stroke made him want to bite her hand more.

Bunny’s eyes went wide in disbelief. She was surprised the officer would pet a Pokémon during a serious situation like this. What was even more shocking to her was how Jenny did not answer her question.

Maybe she is fine being toasted?


"Um…can we get back to talking about Ernest’s murder?"

Jenny stopped petting Balin, the Pokémon sighing in relief, and then she got back up. She was about to open her mouth to speak until her walkie-talkie produced static sounds.

"Officer Jenny? Officer Jenny?"

Bunny felt hot sweat flow down on her cheeks. For a second she feared Jenny might turn her in now.

"Officer Jenny, are you…"

Jenny gave a "hush" sound and winked. Bunny’s eyes blinked a few times while Balin’s right eye opened wide.

"Yes, Officer Timmy?"

"What happened to you watching over Bunny? Did she kick you or something?"

"Yes, she did!" Jenny exclaimed in a fake panting voice. "And it hurts…ouch!"

Balin was about to open his mouth to laugh, but Bunny covered it.

"Well, right now she’s at the bathroom. Get her before she gets away or something."

"Got it, Timmy. I’m on it right now!"

After that was done, Jenny turned around and smiled at both Balin and Bunny. The two, on the other hand, returned that smile with shocked faces.

"Wait…how does he know I am here?"

"Check your bag," Jenny said simply.

Not wanting to be rude, Bunny just did as she was told and opened her bag. That was when she noticed red flashes.

***

Outside of the museum, Timmy waited for the chief. He had his hands moving up and down on his arms, trying to keep himself warm.

Dang, very cold at night. Also, where’s the chief? Probably more of those stupid drunks.


His mind began to think back on Jenny. Like Bunny, he too noticed her quietness back at the hotel room and during the car ride. He frowned and rubbed his chin.

I probably made Jenny mad at me. However, the chief’s fine with it. I don’t know what is going on in her head, trying to save Bunny. Speaking of that woman…

The man was about to take something from his pocket when he recognized a huge black car parking next to Timmy and Jenny’s police car. When the door opened, it revealed a tall man in a black jacket and gray pants. He then walked closer to Timmy with a smile on his face.

"So, I guess Officer Jenny’s keeping an eye on Bunny, right?"

"Yes, Chief Lucas. Just a moment ago, Bunny ran away into the bathroom and Jenny’s catching up to her."

"Good. Tell her I’m here and that we’ll be up there soon."

Timmy nodded and then talked on his walkie-talkie.

"Officer Jenny, come in. Are you there?"

"Officer Jenny here, and over. What seems to be the problem?"

"Well, Chief Lucas is here and he just wanted to say that we’ll help you try to find Bunny."

"Um…there seems to be a problem. I was just about to tell you before you called me that Bunny just jumped through the window."

The male officer felt like his head was about to explode. Inside, he felt very disappointed in Jenny. Wanting to make sure, Timmy took out a rectangle-shaped device, which had a "blueprint" model of the museum and the surroundings around the building. Outside of the museum, a red dot kept blinking.

"Timmy, anything the matter?" Lucas asked when he went to check the red dot too. His mouth opened a little when he saw that. "She isn’t…dead, right?"

"Could be. Not one hundred percent sure… Oh my gosh, she moving again!"

Timmy and Lucas leaned their heads closer to have a better look at the dot first moving at a steady pace but then speeding up quite a bit.Both had concerned thoughts over this.

"How can she live after a fall like that?" asked Lucas.

"A Pokémon, I bet. I got an idea." Timmy held the walkie-talkie closer to him and then said, "Officer Jenny, stay at the bathroom. Chief Lucas and I’ll come by soon. Got that?"

"Got that," answered Jenny in the walkie-talkie.

The male officer turned around and said to the chief, "Let’s roll!"

The two men rushed towards the museum door, wanting to get to the top as soon as possible.

***

While Timmy was outside with Lucas, a few things happened.

When Bunny saw the little tracking device in her bag, she took it out and held it up high. The red flashes made Balin close his eyes.

"Tales nine!" the fox Pokémon complained in a soft voice.

"Yes, it is too bright," Bunny said when she closed her left eye.

The archeologist felt lightheaded. She could not believe that she was being watched. She thought tracking devices were weird inventions because they could pinpoint where you are. That was one of the things that fascinated her about history. Everything was being advanced every century, every month, every second.

"Great, I am being tracked. How did this thing get inside my bag?"

Before Jenny answered her question, she smiled confidently. She already knew how she would be able to handle this.

I’ll tell her everything little by little. Don’t want to overwhelm her too much with information all at once.


"All will be revealed later. I got an idea of how to get you out of this mess, though. First, do you’ve an object you really don’t need and some sort of tape?"

This time, Bunny just stared with her right eye wider than her left one.

"Why did you ask that?"

"Just trust me on this," Jenny answered coldly.

Not wanting to get on the officer’s nasty side, Bunny rummaged through her bag and got out a towel and yellow tape. In an instant, Jenny swiped the items away from her hands. When that happened, Balin growled softly again, still not fully trusting the officer. However, part of him made him decide to give her a chance, so he stopped.

"Perfect!"

Still with her right eye wide open, Bunny just watched to see what the officer was going to do next. Jenny took out a piece of tape and made it into a square. She then put the tape on the tracking device and after that put them on the towel.

"Okay, good so far. Now Bunny, does Balin know Psychic?"

Bunny was about to answer but saw Balin shaking his head.

Jenny’s eyes blinked a few times and then she asked, "How about another Pokémon?"

Bunny nodded and then rummaged through her bag again.

I hope whatever she is doing will help me. Stupid Balin, trusting humans easier than me, she thought to herself with a sigh.

Balin stared and smiled at the police officer. Despite a part of him still unsure about her, he decided to trust her for now after seeing that Jenny was not a huge threat to the both of them.

It took a few seconds for Bunny to grab a Pokeball and then throw it on the ground. The ball cracked and Sky came out, his eyes sleepy.

"Drift, drift!" the Pokémon complained.

Jenny smiled and whispered something to Balin. The Pokémon nodded and then spoke to Sky. While the two were talking, Bunny’s mind began to wonder. There were too many questions left unanswered.

Did Ernest write that? If so, why me? Why was there a tracking device stuck inside my bag? Why were the two officers risking themselves trying to arrest me this way than just bluntly doing that? Why did she decide to let Balin tell Sky what to do and not me?

After Bunny had finished thinking, she saw Balin smiling and Sky nodding. All of a sudden, the Drifblim’s eyes turned dark blue and then the towel went up high. The towel smashed through the window. Jenny, Bunny, Balin, and Sky went to the broken window and saw the towel fall on the ground.

Okay, things are getting weird now!

"Why did you not let me tell Sky to do that?" Bunny screamed when she turned around and faced Jenny, her eyes wide and blinking rapidly.

Jenny chuckled and then answered, "I just want to leave you in suspense."

Confusion hit hard in Bunny’s mind. She now was not actually one hundred percent sure if Jenny was saving her. Bunny and her two Pokémon jumped a little when a male voice could be heard from the walkie-talkie.

"Officer Jenny, come it. Are you there?"

Bunny’s heart raced with anxiety. Fear grabbed her with its claws deep inside her body. There was one thought she clutched onto.

I hope Officer Jenny will not turn me in. I hope Officer Jenny will not turn me in. I hope Officer Jenny will not turn me in…

She was about to say something, but Jenny winked. Bunny turned around to see Sky and Balin both smiling in anticipation. Her eyes then gazed at Jenny once more. The officer just smiled back, which made Bunny’s eyes grow big.

She won’t be nervous after this.

"Officer Jenny, here and over. What seems to be the problem?"

"Well, Chief Lucas is here and just wanted to say that we’ll help you try to find Bunny."

Jenny smiled and then said in a fake nervous tone, "Um…there seems to be a problem. I was just about to tell you before you called me that Bunny just jumped through the window."

Jenny stared at Sky and then snapped her fingers. The balloon Pokémon nodded and then Bunny turned around to look outside once more. She saw the towel move again, this time very quickly. Eventually it made it into a dusty brown car.

"Now Timmy will think you hitchhiked a car," whispered Jenny with a giggle. Both Sky and Balin chuckled when they heard that. Timmy’s voice was soon heard again.

"Officer Jenny, stay at the bathroom. The two of us are on our way right now. Got that?"

"Got that," said Jenny in the walkie-talkie. This time though, she did not smile.

Okay, things won’t turn out how I had planned unless Bunny cooperates. So far everything’s going okay.

"Now what?" Bunny asked while her eyes blinked quickly.

"Hide in one of the bathroom stalls, you and your Pokémon. Hurry!" the officer commanded.

Not wanting to be seen, Bunny grabbed her two Pokémon and they went inside the nearest bathroom stall. It was somewhat crowded inside, so Bunny had to sit on her Driftblim, which enabled her eyes to see what was going on.

She saw Jenny looking outside, getting ready for the two officers to come. That time came when both Timmy and another man she never saw before burst inside.

"Jenny, did you see which car Bunny went to?" Timmy asked while taking deep breaths.

"Yeah, she took the brown one at the stop sign!"

The two men rushed to the window and saw the car at a stop sign.

"Why didn’t you stop her?" Lucas asked after he turned around to look at the female officer, his chest going up and down.

"Well, it’s too dark to see. Not only that, I also thought she was dead until those streetlights showed Bunny hitchhiking one of the cars."

Both policemen frowned and their breathing became deeper and deeper. There was silence until Lucas spoke.

"Okay, here’s what’s going to happen. Jenny, you stay here for now and check to see if Bunny comes back. Timmy and I are going to check on that car. Let’s go, Timmy!"

The two men ran and got out of the bathroom. Jenny smiled and then whispered, "You three can come out now!"

The bathroom stall slowly opened and the three came out. Sky and Balin smirked while Bunny frowned. She was still confused about what was going on, her head still repeating the questions she wanted answered.

At least I know why she did that to the tracking device. Still, there are many things that I want to be clear on.

"Okay, we should get out, but first we got some business to take care of."

"Business?" Bunny asked.

Jenny just grabbed Bunny’s arm and the two ran out of the bathroom, Sky and Balin trailing behind.

***

Okay, I'll be honest in that this chapter and the next two chapters (Chapter 5 and 6) are the closest ones relating to "The Da Vinci Code". After that, there will be twists of my own. ;) All right, time for a quick comparision time:

-I remember one scene where the female character in "Da Vinci Code" let Robert listen to a phone message saying he's in trouble. In this fic Officer Jenny just told her straightout.
-In "Da Vinci Code" the tracking device is put on a truck. XD

And I think that's all I can think about at the moment. Probably will edit this...

Well, I hope you guys enjoyed it. What do you think of the little action in there? ^^ Well, expect the fifth chapter to be probably either in late January or early February. My beta is going to be busy for a bit and so am I as I'm going to be back at school soon. >.>

Oh, and Darkpersian, expect the next chapter to explain more as of why Timmy and Lucas are going through with the plan and also why those two are risking themselves. Sorry I didn't do it this chapter. Blame Timmy. :X

EDIT: Decided to do this after Great Bulter's review brought up the attention. Okay, if you guys are a bit confused as to what happened, I'll give the explaination in a minute. I know probably a few of you might be a bit confused as there were a few things going on and also some things that weren't explained yet. Even though I felt doing this make it felt as if I didn't execute the chapter very well, on the other hand sometimes explainations are good to clear things up. I know sometimes I try to look up summaries of what happened from a chapter of a literature novel I'm reading because I was confused what happened! XD

-Jenny took Bunny to the bathroom and then told her of how she's accused of murder and then showed her a photo of one extra sentence from that writing Ernest wrote on the floor that was wiped out. She then showed Bunny that there's a little tracking device inside her bag. Jenny then was about to explain how Bunny got in this situation until Timmy called on the walkie talkie. Jenny lied and said Bunny hit her and ran away in the bathroom. (How he knew that is later on one scene reveals Timmy having a track meter with him).

-Outside, Timmy waited for Chief Lucas. When the chief came, both Timmy and Lucas looked at the track meter and saw the red dot on the screen not moving at first but then at rapid speed. Timmy then talked to Jenny to ask what has happened and then the female officer said of how Bunny escaped, put it simply. (The officers didn't know that she lied)

-Back at the bathroom Jenny had devised her plan on making it look like Bunny jump out of a window. The plan is to put the tracking device on some object (in this case, the towel), and then have a Pokemon that knows Psychic to put that thing on some random car. Timmy then talked at her walkie talkie again about what happened. Jenny lied to Timmy of Bunny jumping out of the window and hijacking a car. Jenny then told Bunny and her Pokemon to hide. (This part happened while Timmy and Lucas are outside)

-Timmy and Lucas came in real quick to check up on Jenny. When they didn't saw Bunny anywhere, they told Jenny to stay put while they go for that car.

-After cost is clear, Jenny led Bunny and her Pokemon outside.

Well, that's the best I can explained of what happened. Yeah, there are some holes like how Jenny knew there was a tracking device and how she got that photo. Don't worry, everything will come together and explain in more detail next chapter. If this still doesn't make sense, I hope at least it will be a bit more clear next chapter.
 
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Bay

YEAHHHHHHH
The Great Bulter: You didn't? o_O Well...either it's because the action went too fast (which I did purposely), there were some holes (purposely also XD), or both. All right, I'll do a quick summary as to what happened:

-Jenny took Bunny to the bathroom and then told her of how she's accused of murder and then showed her a photo of one extra sentence from that writing Ernest wrote on the floor that was wiped out. She then showed Bunny that there's a little tracking device inside her bag. Jenny then was about to explain how Bunny got in this situation until Timmy called on the walkie talkie. Jenny lied and said Bunny hit her and ran away in the bathroom. (How he knew that is later on one scene reveals Timmy having a track meter with him).

-Outside, Timmy waited for Chief Lucas. When the chief came, both Timmy and Lucas looked at the track meter and saw the red dot on the screen not moving at first but then at rapid speed. Timmy then talked to Jenny to ask what has happened and then the female officer said of how Bunny escaped, put it simply. (The officers didn't know that she lied)

-Back at the bathroom Jenny had devised her plan on making it look like Bunny jump out of a window. The plan is to put the tracking device on some object (in this case, the towel), and then have a Pokemon that knows Psychic to put that thing on some random car. Timmy then talked at her walkie talkie again about what happened. Jenny lied to Timmy of Bunny jumping out of the window and hijacking a car. Jenny then told Bunny and her Pokemon to hide. (This part happened while Timmy and Lucas are outside)

-Timmy and Lucas came in real quick to check up on Jenny. When they didn't saw Bunny anywhere, they told Jenny to stay put while they go for that car.

-After cost is clear, Jenny led Bunny and her Pokemon outside.

Well, that's the best I can explained of what happened. Yeah, there are some holes like how Jenny knew there was a tracking device and how she got that photo. Don't worry, everything will come together and explain in more detail next chapter. If this still doesn't make sense, I hope at least it will be a bit more clear next chapter.
 
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DarkPersian479

Well-Known Member
Jenny led her to the bathroom.
Lead=present tense. led=past tense.

She was about to open her mouth to speak when her walkie-talkie produced static sounds.
For this type of sentence, "when" is used if the action (in this case, speaking) is cut off before it starts. "Until" is used when the action has already started and then gets interrupted. So, if Jenny was already speaking when her walkie-talkie went off, you would use "until."

The man was about to take something from his pocket when he recognized a huge black car parking next to Timmy and Jenny’s police car.

Oh my gosh, she's moving again!"

Timmy and Lucas leaned their heads closer to have a better look at the dot first moving at a steady pace but then speeding up quite a bit.

She thought tracking devices were weird inventions because they could pinpoint where you are.
Number agreement.

How did this thing get inside my bag?"

All of a sudden, the Drifblim’s eyes turned dark blue
Note that there is no "t" in the Pokemon species name.

She saw the towel move again, this time very quickly.

"Now Timmy will think you stole a car,"
"Hitchhike" more or less means that someone stops and gives you a ride. Typically hitchhikers walk down the side of the road, holding out one hand with their thumb raised. "Carjacking" technically doesn't fit in either because a carjacking is a type of auto theft where the car is stolen with the owner still in it, and is usually a violent crime (the driver may get shot or shoved out of the moving car).

Oh, and Darkpersian, expect the next chapter to explain more as of why Timmy and Lucas are going through with the plan and also why those two are risking themselves.
Good, because I was wondering why the two officers wouldn't find the situation suspicious. Odds are that if a car was stopped at a stop sign (especially if it was stolen) when Jenny radioed Timmy, it would be long gone by the time Timmy and Lucas made it up to her location.

I think someone needs to tell the officers that the whole plan is needlessly complex. Like Bunny (and apparently Butler as well), I was confused as to why certain things were done and how they were done. The tracking device did seem to come out of nowhere. Then there's the car parked at the stop sign instead of driving off.

Now, I do like the idea of the "arrest" serving as merely a ruse for some bigger and more elaborate plan, and you did handle it well enough, but there were a few things that just seemed unrealistic.

With that said, I am definitely looking forward to the chapter when everything is explained, including the real motives of the officers.
 
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