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Ocean Rose (PG-13) CS

Discussion in 'Shipping Fics' started by Xiang, Sep 19, 2006.

  1. Xiang

    Xiang Well-Known Member

    It's the fic you've all been waiting for, Contestshippers! My best effort ever into this story about Shuu and Haruka as mermaids under the sea.


    My life in the sea was perfect until he came.

    His light green hair shone on his head like flower petals and his eyes were brighter than the sun on the surface. And his voice was like the strange, soothing tunes I heard above my head everyday.

    He stood out in the cool shades of our cerulean hued world. His colors were blazing and standing out. He was different. Everything was perfect about him until I met him.

    “Who might this be?” he said flatly, clearly not in a good mood.

    After watching him from afar (stalking, he calls it) I didn’t think he would be that disrespectful. I tensed up and gritted my teeth. How dare he!

    “I happen to be the princess of this Seadom!” I huffed. I hated to be all bratty like that, but I had my dignity.

    “I suppose that would make me a commoner,” he sighed, but I could see the slyness building up in his eyes. He was up to something.

    For that moment I was sorry I was rude. Then he smirked and my sorrow floated away with a gentle current coming by.

    “I’m Shuu,” he finally introduced himself.

    “Shoe? That’s a strange name,” I said, confused.

    He clearly was not amused. “It’s Shuu, get it right,” he said icily.

    Ouch and oops. After a few lame tries, I got closer. “I’m Haruka.”

    He held out his hand. I reached for it, but then stopped as a green light gathered into the center of his palm. A strange red thing on a stick with horns appeared in his hand. He held it carefully and offered it to me.

    “Uh? What is this?” I asked.

    He looked disappointed. “You don’t get out much, do you?”

    I remained silent. Actually, this was my first time outside castle grounds for a while, so I don’t know much about the outside world.

    “This is a rose,” he explained. “It’s a flower from… from far lands. These sharp things on it are thorns. They can hurt you if you’re not careful, but if you get to smell a rose, it’s worth the trouble.”

    I grasped it carefully and breathed in the scent. It smelled fresh and… different. Not like the salty smell of the ocean (I don’t notice it unless I go to areas where it seems saltier). It smelled pure.

    Of course, I only smelled pure water once and it was fantastic.

    “Oh. Thanks.”

    We talked for the rest of the day before I had to go home, but I learned that he was a year older than me and he was a foreigner (which might explain the strange name). He came alone too. I looked deep into his eyes again and instead of seeing a sly cover, I could see evergreen-colored loneliness.

    I enjoyed talking with him, and he seemed to get in a better mood after a while. I sure regret putting him in a good mood.

    I like seeing him happy, but then he started teasing me a little and I felt a little uncomfortable. Right before I was about to leave for home, he offended me.

    “Alright. See ya, flat chest.”

    The nerve—I was only seven! What could he expect? Early development?

    The next day, and the day after that, he started teasing me repeatedly, but I didn’t feel as bad as before, because I knew he wasn’t being truly mean.

    One morning when I was eight, and Shuu was nine, my doctor pulled me into the office. It was made of coral and stone and the floors shimmered from being cleaned so much.

    She examined me and wrapped a red cloth around my chest.

    “You’re developing rather early, but it’s normal for girls born in this Seadom.”

    Doctor smiled at me and explained about the cloth and several other things.

    “You live in the Hoenn Seadom. Girls born in this kind of weather, diet, and water conditions begin development around age eight to ten. Kanto, where I was born, we usually start around age eleven or twelve.”

    I hid from Shuu that day, because I knew I would feel embarrassed. By then we were friends and I knew he would be nice about it because he didn’t like to hurt my feelings or make me feel uncomfortable, but I couldn’t face him for a whole week.

    And during that week, my tail fin grew longer and my tail overall sprouted a painful two inches.

    I would have to face him eventually.

    And when I did, he glanced at the cloth and shrugged. “Wanna come and play?” he asked.

    I was relieved and for a while we chatted and played with other boys and girls, but I noticed that he kept glancing at me, then quickly reverting his gaze elsewhere.

    I had a hunch it wasn’t about my growing tail.

    In a couple of more days Mother got me a strange object and told me to replace the cloth with it. It had two slightly curved cups that was connected by a strap. The strap was trimmed with gold and jewels were engraved into it. A slightly transparent layer of cloth hung over my belly and back.

    “This will be for special occasions. This cloth you can wear for the rest of the time, okay?” she told me and smiled kindly.

    I was glad, too, because the fancy one was sure tight and uncomfortable.

    I wore it to the celebration of my ninth birthday.

    “You look really nice in that,” he told me.

    My face was turning pink. He never gave compliments to his other friends! “Er, thanks,” I managed to wheeze. Ugh, it was really tight. They must think I have a microscopic waist.

    “Are you okay?” he asked, and I couldn’t remember anything after that, because then I passed out.

    I woke up in Doctor’s office on a bed. Shuu was at my bedside. My super tight party suit was replaced by my regular cloth.

    I was told that apparently the thing was much too tight and eventually I couldn’t get enough air to stay conscious, so Shuu had to remove the thing from my body and call the Doctor.

    I wanted to pass out from embarrassment. He didn’t seem effected by it right now, though.

    “So…uh…” I couldn’t find any words to say.

    “You could’ve died,” he stated.

    I stared at him. “You… really care?” I asked meekly.

    He nodded. I began to cry. He was the best, best, best, best friend I could ever ask for.

    I never thought he was mean, sly, or anything bad again (or at least meant it). He had proved that he was mature and kind… and that I could trust him.

    After that, I knew for sure that he was only being playful when he teased.

    And now, at age ten, I’m thinking that it wasn’t just playful.

    End Prologue
  2. Abba-chu

    Abba-chu Green Day Stalker

    Good stuff! Maybe a bit more descriptions of the sort of events and feelings and things , but otherwise, I'm waiting to read the next part! It's a great entrance to a alternate universe fanfic! (I love Alternates! ^^ ) Update soon!
  3. Xiang

    Xiang Well-Known Member

    I'll get more indepth after the prologue, it's just that as I'm doing prologues, I prefer to keep it a bit simple and save the bulky stuff for later.
    I'll keep that in mind ^_^ Although I try to avoid over-describing things as much as I can.

    Thank you for replying, although I would prefer a better review, I appreciate you even bothering to post ^_^
    PM List? Uh, sure!

    Shuufan234 added
  4. Xiang

    Xiang Well-Known Member

    Another chapter! Just so you know, I'm not going to use the Japanese honorifics very often in this fic, and Advanceshipping appears on the scene (because I like it now more than I did then)

    Rated PG-13! Haruka's eleven now, remember.

    Chapter One
    Newcomer! Haruka’s Love?

    The way morning greets me as I wake up everyday can vary extremely. If you slept in my room you’d understand.

    Some mornings lacked light bright enough to wake me up fully. Shuu told me those are “cloudy days” and that “clouds” are these clumps of water-air that can shade the sun. I laughed and asked him if he was kidding and how he would know.

    He didn’t reply.

    Other mornings had yellow rays pouring into my room. The reflections of light on the corals and mineral materials framing my room would shimmer like the surface in midday.

    On other “cloudy” mornings, I hear a rumbling and splattering above me, crying continuously. That’s when it’s raining. It’s like listening to an orchestra of some sort, but the rhythms tend to lull me back to sleep. Shuu said it was “rain” and it fell when “clouds” carried too much water. I still don’t know how he figures these things out.

    I could go to the surface to take a look for myself, but it’s heavily guarded by Father’s troops and I know not to. He said it was dangerous up there. I believe him, even though I don’t understand how “clouds” and “rain” could be dangerous.

    This morning was rainy. I could feel the proportion of salt and water in my room shift unsteadily. It was less salty today, and that’s how I like my water.

    Stretching my aching muscles as I gently swam to my dresser, I recalled what I was planning to do today. Tomorrow was Shuu’s eleventh birthday so I would have to find a good present for him. I took the red cloth in my hands and ran my thumbs over its gentle, soft folds.

    This cloth I had been wearing for two years. By the day it was getting tighter and tighter, so in a couple of weeks I would have to get a new one. I wrapped it around my chest and managed to tie it firmly in the back.

    I flicked my tail to swim towards the door, but then a jolt of pain shot up my spine. Ugh, my tail must’ve sprouted again.

    I swam past the patch of algae and the pink corral plain to a stone dome-shaped building where the seaweed waved with the currents while sitting in pores in the dirt and rocks. I knocked on the door and anticipated an answer.

    A groan was Shuu’s reply. “Ugh… Haruka? Come in, the door isn’t locked…?”

    I swam in. I’ve been here before, so I knew to wait in the living room until he could come down to greet me. Shuu was never much of a morning person.

    While I was waiting, I examined the glass cabinet standing against the walls. Inside were items representing our memories. I smiled fondly as I looked at the shiny, white stone shaped like a disc that we tossed to each other when we had nothing else to do.

    There was also a time where I got seaweed tangled in my hair and was too embarrassed to go to anyone else for help, so Shuu used the nearest thing he could find to get it out. It was silver and had a flat handle, with thick needles sticking out in a parallel way- three of them.

    I kept wincing as he ran the thing through my hair.

    “What are you using?” I asked.

    “It’s called a fork,” he told me. “I’ve used them to… I’ve used them when I was little.”

    He got the seaweed out soon after that.

    So the fork was next to the disc. I glanced at a few more- a blue bead he gave to me for my tenth birthday but somehow ended up here and a coral Luvdisc I carved myself that I gave him for HIS tenth birthday. He loved Luvdiscs.

    He swam down at last, still looking quite sleepy.

    I stifled a giggle as I glanced at his expression. “Did I interrupt your sleep?”

    “Pfft,” was his reply. “If you hadn’t, I would’ve been sleeping for too long…”

    Too long by his standards was six hours.

    “You should sleep earlier,” I suggested to him, but he shrugged. A lot of his responses were silent and unclear. He’s just mysterious like that. “Breakfast is ready at the palace,” I told him.

    “What are they serving today?”

    “Sake and Unagi Maki and Shrimp Tempura…” I listed all those I could remember as we headed on our way to the palace dining hall.

    Sake is an alcoholic drink. Unagi Maki is a seafood dish made with eel.

    “I think I’ll go for the Okonomiyaki dishes today,” I said.

    Shuu frowned. “Too much Okonomiyaki might make you fat,” he said.

    “I don’t suppose you have any proof, do you?” I shot back.

    He sneered. “I guess you look in the mirror every morning so you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.”

    “HEY! Okonomiyaki is delicious! I’d eat something because I like it, not because I want to be as skinny as a twig! B-besides! Okonomiyaki does NOT make me fat!”

    Shuu didn’t reply again. I sighed. I feel like the nuclear reactor here, blowing up every time he makes fun of me a little. Still, I don’t like it.

    “I think you’re still okay,” someone said shyly behind me. I turned around and smiled.

    “Wakana! Thank goodness you’re here! I just can’t stand this guy!” I whined, pointing at Shuu. Wakana had shy green eyes like Shuu’s and short red hair.

    “Oh, um, I was talking to Shuu-sama,” she said.

    I swam right into the palace wall. Wakana could sometimes be just so annoying. She was sometimes more mature than me, but she doesn’t even wear a cloth yet! Well, that’s because she’s the Doctor’s daughter and won’t start anytime soon.

    “What the…” Shuu rasped.

    But it turned out my collision wasn’t just embarrassing, it hurt a hell lot more than usual. I backed away, wincing in pain. Shuu and Wakana gaped at me, and I couldn’t help but blush.

    “I know, guys, I’m a klutz, you don’t have to…”

    They didn’t stop gaping. I wanted to laugh at their silly faces, but I turned around and gaped too.

    I had blasted a crack in the wall.

    “Oops?” I said.

    They still wouldn’t stop gaping at me.

    “H-Haruka,” Wakana managed to say. “You’re…”


    “You’re bleeding.”

    Doctor told me she figured it was bound to happen eventually that I would get this kind of injury. I sat on the hospital bed as she bandaged my forehead.

    “Does it hurt?” she asked.

    “Not much,” I said honestly.

    “You’ve got to watch where you are going,” she reminded me.

    I turned red. I always had a habit of bumping into things (or people) and hurting myself and the victim somewhere.

    I gathered several heavy and plain-looking textbooks into my arms after I got to my room. At least ten times a moon I had morning or evening lessons. They cut into my free time like carving knives, but I knew they were necessary. Some of them were so terribly boring it was like floating in front of a wall and looking at it for hours. Other lessons were fun and interesting, like the one with literature.

    Luckily today was a reading lesson. Our basic language in the ocean is Japanese, but it was important for us to learn our native language from the beginning, the Kisha text. It was complicated at first, but after the basics became second nature to me, everything else ran along like a stream.

    The lesson ended after two hours and I was free!

    I drifted through the market and outskirts of palace property into the Hoenn Seadom village of Bendaturufu (Vendaturf). It was peaceful and tranquil. The flowers waved together on their own, without the currents, and the light from above shone more calmly here.

    I still needed a gift for Shuu.

    “Excuse me,” a voice said to me. I looked up into the face of a boy- he looked older than Shuu. His skin was a light shade of tan and he had messy black hair. “I can’t find the palace of this Seadom- you see, I’m new to this-“

    “Eh?” I interrupted him, not meaning to be rude, but I was surprised. “For what reason?”

    He rubbed his head. “My mother is going to work there as a gardener,” he explained.

    I stared at him. “Er, I can show you the way. What’s your name.”

    “Satoshi,” he replied. “And yours?”

    “H-Haruka,” I replied a little bit shyly. He stopped abruptly, causing me to fall over.

    “Oh! Sorry, let me help you up here,” he apologized and held out a hand to me. I took it and he helped me up. “You’re Haruka, the princess of this Seadom?!”

    “Um, yeah?” I replied. Great, now he’s going to treat me like I’m some sort of goddess.

    “Pleased to meet you,” he said. I was relieved that he wasn’t saying something like “please let me be of service/ use to you” like the other dopes that want to get on the royal good side. Too bad they’re getting on the bad side of ME.

    “So, uh, where are you from?” I attempted at getting a conversation rolling.

    “The Kanto Seadom,” he replied. Doctor and Wakana were born there too! “It’s a pretty boring place.”

    “I heard it’s wonderful.”

    He shrugged. “It’s kinda overpopulated, but it’s okay.”

    “So, are you a mage?”

    Mages were people with magical ability or some supernatural power. Their numbers were starting to diminish gradually.

    “Yeah,” he answered.

    “Cool! Can you show me your power?” I asked.

    “I can predict any romance in your future,” he said. “But my power doesn’t suit my tastes. I’m not into romance. It makes my stomach flop.”

    “Oh, I see. Well can you predict mine?”

    “Sorry, my power doesn’t work efficiently. I’ll need a source of energy in order to perform it, otherwise I’ll lose consciousness,” he said.

    “What do you need?”

    “A memory,” he said. I looked at him with a strange expression of surprise and doubt. “Don’t worry, I’m not taking it away forever, I’m using the energy from it.”

    I didn’t know memories had energies. “Well, how do you get the energy?”

    “You tell it to me, then I’ll be able to identify it in your mind.”

    “Holy crap, wait a minute,” I said to stop the both of us. “You can see what’s on my mind?!”

    “Um, yeah? It’s more accurate if you tell me,” he replied.

    “We’ll leave that topic aside for now,” I said, getting a bit more uncomfortable with this mind reader guy. “And I’ll tell you about something that happened to me when I was eight.”

    A fitness examiner carried his portfolio of records through the corridors. The glass doors that had just been polished that day opened gently and he swam in. He had just recently become of age (fifteen) and this was his second time with us, only this time he wasn’t the apprentice.

    “Hello there everyone,” he greeted. “I’m sure some of you remember me.”

    We, the children, smiled and socialized a little bit as he set his equipment up. He was going to record our weight and height according to age, like his master did last time.

    “Princess Haruka, you’re first,” he said. I was the youngest one there and nervously swam up to the contraption.

    “Hm, you’ve gained ten pounds since I last saw you, good job. 50!” he said. The other children applauded politely. “You get to pick the next person.”

    Was Shuu here? Yes, he was here! “Shuu!” I said. He was surprised at being picked first (because we had only just become friends) and swam up to the scale.

    “Shuu, is it? Let me see, this is your first record, and you’re 57! How old are you?”

    “I’m nine,” he answered.


    After measuring the rest of the children, I swam over to Shuu so I could talk to him.

    “Shuu! Over here!” I waved at him. He came over rather gloomily. “Shuu, what’s wrong? You don’t look happy.”

    “Don’t tell anyone, but…”

    “But? Yeah! What?” I poked him, nudging him towards going on. He started to look annoyed.

    “Stop that!” he yelled at me.

    “Sorry,” I said. “But I’m the princess. You should treat me like one.”

    “Sorry,” he imitated. “Yeah right, look, I’m your friend, well you think so, but that doesn’t make you more special than I.”

    “Oh, well, it does! Because…” I was losing points with my weak argument. He was right- if I wanted to be a good friend to everyone else, I should be more modest. “Okay, you’re right, but what did you want to tell me?”

    He shook his head rigorously. “Never mind, it’s kinda early for that.”

    “Argh! You’re always keeping things from me! Look, you just said I’m your friend! Or you’re my friend!”

    “I never said anything of the sort!” he shot back.

    “Did too!”

    He blushed. “Did not!”

    “You should tell me anyway! You’re always hiding things! That’s way I don’t understand you and we don’t get along!” I hollered.

    The rest of the children were watching us like we were part of a play. I turned red.

    “Hey! Mind your own business!” I said to them, and that’s what they did.

    “Okay, okay,” he said. “The truth is, I don’t have…”

    “You don’t have…?”

    “I come from…”

    I listened intently.

    “I… this isn’t working!” he yelled in frustration. “Okay, look, I’ll make this simple. I like somebody and I don’t know what to give them for their birthday!”

    “Who is it! When is their birthday?!” I asked excitedly. Shuu! In love! What are the odds?!

    He blushed again. “No way I’m telling you!” He was sure in a bad mood today. Usually he’d tease me, I remembered.

    “Let’s change the subject then,” I decided. “Um, well, my birthday is in eight days and I want… I don’t know what I want. I don’t really care, as long as it’s from somebody who cares!”

    “Okay, gotcha!” he said, and then I looked at him strangely. “It’s not like that,” he explained, “because… there’s no way you’re that person I like.”

    I blinked, then shrugged.

    The height measurements were afterwards. He was three inches taller than me.

    “There’s a surplus of energy here,” Satoshi said. We floated there for a minute and I waited quietly, unable to shield myself from the suspense.

    “You will… have a very romantic future with a person whom you love most. There will be tragedies and times where you want to… er, cut his head off, but you will be soulmates someday.”

    Someday? Maybe when I’m eighty and wrinkly? Hopefully not.

    The glowing walls and flying buttresses of the palace came into view.

    “Wow, you live in THAT?!”

    “Er, yeah, I couldn’t live… anywhere else,” I replied to his outburst.

    “Hm,” he paused. “I hope we will become friends, Haruka.”

    “Why ask that? Of course we’ll become friends!”

    “No, I’ve had many friends, but I don’t think I’ll ever have one like you, Haruka,” he explained.

    I turned pink and looked away. I dropped him off at the palace without another word and went on my own way.

    I wandered around until sundown, when the water was dark but illuminated every few meters by lamps. Shuu was swimming around, appearing to be deep in thought.


    “Huh? Oh. Haruka.”

    We sat down on a roadside bench.

    “So after you went to the Doctor, Wakana had to go run some errands, so I wandered around for a bit, and you know what I found?” Shuu told me.

    “No,” I replied simply. “What?”

    “A school of Luvdisc,” he answered. “They swam really fast and their movements were synchronized. There were even a couple of discolored ones.”

    I listened closely. Luvdisc were rare in this area during this time of year, so this appearance was strange. Shuu didn’t seem happy though, despite being enthusiastic.

    “What was strange about them wasn’t just them appearing, but they were heading north. This is autumn- shouldn’t they be heading south where the waters are warmer?” he reasoned.

    I trembled. He was right. This was unusual. Luvdisc weren’t very hardy creatures so they put their good speed to use as they searched for better environments. But heading north was like heading to their death.

    I searched his face for his reaction, but he looked pale.

    “Shuu? Are you okay?”

    He stared at the dark half of the waters (the other half was lit by the dim, setting sun). “Something isn’t right,” he said. He swam towards the dark waters.

    “Shuu?” I called after him.

    He ignored me, so I followed him, yelling after him repeatedly. “Shuu? Shuu!”

    “Quiet! Can’t you hear it?” he replied impatiently.

    I bit my lip, stunned, and listened for any sound in the water. Nothing but the waves colliding on the surface…

    “I can’t hear anything,” I said, but he ignored me again and swam forward.

    We swam closer and closer and I realized that the dark waters were really thick clouds of dust and rock formations. I heard nothing still.

    “It’s a… it’s something,” Shuu said. “Someone is… speaking.”

    I listened harder and heard the voice of my mother.

    We located a doorway in this rock dome and swam inside. Inside was a large audience.

    “Silence please,” my mother said. She stood with a serious expression on a raised platform in the middle of the dining hall. Her blue eyes sparked warningly at a group of teenagers who had ignored her order. They immediately stopped their chatter.

    “As some of you have seen, there has been several strange occurrences of Pokemon in this area,” she began. “Around this time of year, as you should know, Pokemon are migrating south for the winter season where the water reaches freezing point occasionally. Most of these Pokemon need to go to more comfortable conditions to stay alive, including the Luvdisc. This brings up the question of why they are heading north.”

    An elderly woman next to her began to speak. “This occurrence is a bad omen.”

    Her voice ran like a low-pitched bell in my ears.

    I know it lacks transitions but that's because I spent forever on this. I deleted whole pages and edited things in and out and added scenes, changed dialogue, got rid of unnecessary descriptions... so it might seem kinda spontaneous @_@

    Flames are welcome, but you'll be punished for it ;)
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2006
  5. Shuufan234

    Shuufan234 Crazy Drew Fan

    I really like this fanfic, you have real talent. I have a new love for AU fanfics thanks to you and i think its a good thing. Please update soon.
  6. Xiang

    Xiang Well-Known Member

    Thanks ^_^

    I want to clear something up for anyone out there:

    This is a basic skill of the sea people: to be able to create an object from thin... water. One item only. Apparently Haruka hasn't been taught this skill yet. She will eventually.
  7. Xiang

    Xiang Well-Known Member

    sorry this took so long, but life's been busy.

    Chapter Two
    Shuu’s Great Secret…!

    “As some of you have seen, there has been several strange occurrences of Pokemon in this area,” she began. “Around this time of year, as you should know, Pokemon are migrating south for the winter season where the water reaches freezing point occasionally. Most of these Pokemon need to go to more comfortable conditions to stay alive, including the Luvdisc. This brings up the question of why they are heading north.”

    An elderly woman next to her began to speak. “This occurrence is a bad omen.”

    Her voice ran like a low-pitched bell in my ears.

    She was Hoenn’s oldest and widest. Mother said these people are wise because they have experienced much more than we have in their life.

    “Eighty years old, when I was still a child, this same occurrence was sighted around Hoenn and in fact, the majority of the sea. Eventually a mage force had swept through the land and destroyed villages, plants, and even killed people effortlessly.

    “We rebuilt with the little resources that had been left (with the little population that still was alive).

    “It happened again forty years later, and then thirteen years later. Every time it followed strange migrations of Pokemon everywhere. We sent mages to the south to investigate. All but one returned.”

    Some people in the audience looked at each other, remembering all this. I wasn’t alive, so I had no idea.

    “That person was me.

    “Most of the elders were hardly surprised. I told them all I knew, keeping it confidential. But the situation is getting more dangerous, thus I decided to tell you to prepare yourselves.”

    “Firstly, the force takes time to build power. I’m not here to tell you an adventure story, but I witnessed the gathering itself but I do not know the energy source. I did the first thing I thought of- shield myself. At the time my power was at its strongest- yet I survived with a hole in my stomach. The force has unbelievable, so I looked into a better way of protection after receiving some medical treatment.

    “I found the Moonlit Cave.”

    The Moonlit Cave is where mages like Satoshi go to receive their mage name, which is their secret password to their power.

    “The mass energy seemed to be drained more than usual, so I assumed that the force that was scaring these Pokemon used the moonlight as energy. But I was wrong.

    “Moonlight is strong and pure energy, but we don’t know much about it. Moonlight couldn’t be used for darkness. With nothing else to do, I borrowed some magic energy, with the mage code and all. I was lucky I did.

    “On the way back I was attacked by a Sharpedo. He had similar energy to that of the force’s, and using the magic energy I had just borrowed by instinct, I blocked his attack without a scratch.

    “Moonlight was the answer to a shield. According to the mage code (which I cannot reveal to you, duh) you can only take so much away from the cave before it power is exhausted. If we exhausted the moonlight’s power, all of it, it would rid us of the Moonlit Cave forever, but we would need that much power.

    “Now about the depleting energy. It wasn’t much of a deal, but it is just being withdrawn more often because of the current Johto war.

    “I have also met with the Council and decided that we can’t tell you everything. But we found a way to magnify the power of the moonlight.

    “We are testing for some mages to go search for this magnifier.”

    The assembly ended, but my mind was swimming wildly with confusing thoughts. History was happening but the information was passing through my head without it absorbing anything!

    “Argh, Shuu, do you get any of this?” I cried, scratching my head.

    “Can’t say,” he said.

    We went to bed late that evening, and the next morning I woke up feeling like I swallowed a bee.

    I cursed to myself. I still hadn’t gotten a gift for Shuu.

    I spent the rest of the time before breakfast frantically browsing every shop in the area for a gift. I finally picked out a glass flute for him- he knew how to play any instrument. I knew he would love something like that.

    After I had knocked on his door I realized I hadn’t combed my hair that morning, since I was in such a rush. He opened the door.

    “I know, I know, you can laugh your head off now,” I grumbled, but I was surprised to see that he wasn’t.



    He was silent for a couple of seconds before he finally welcomed me in.

    “I brought this for you,” I told him as I held out a glass flute to him. He took it in his hands, examined it, then held the pipe to his lips. He began to play each note carefully. Each note was like a soothing breath that passed through my body like a current.

    “Thank you, Haruka, I will treasure it,” he said kindly. I felt warm inside and started to say “you’re welcome”- but he continued. “And I have news.”

    “I’m listening,” I replied, a bit startled.

    “I’ve signed up for the mage test tonight.”

    I stared at him for a moment before laughing rather loudly, as if I was forcing it too much. “Very funny, Shuu, good one!”

    He glared at me with those green eyes, and I felt like his were thorns, so I chose the moment to shut up. “I am, Haruka, and I want you to accept this.”

    “Shuu, quit messing around. Firstly, you’re underage. Secondly,” I scoffed in between. “You’re not a mage anyway.”

    He just looked at me.

    I started to feel weak in the tail. “You are?” I asked, my voice breaking.

    He nodded.

    “Then why are you telling me now?” The last thing I wanted to do is get angry at him, since he was my best friend, but I felt lied to.

    “Can’t say,” he said simply.

    I tensed up my shoulders as my fury woke like an aggravated dragon. “Can’t say? That’s all you ever tell me! You’re always saying that, and now you surprise me with a secret you could’ve trusted me with!”

    “Hey, it’s not like I’m supposed to tell you everything,” Shuu shot back. “I’d like your nose out of my business.”

    “And I’d like you to leave this room at once!” I commanded.

    “This is my house.”

    He sure knew how to get to me. I shook with anger and then took a deep breath. Getting angry wouldn’t do any good.

    “Okay, so happy birthday, Shuu, and good luck with your test.”

    He lifted an eyebrow. “Do you realize that if… never mind.”

    I swam out the door that instant. He’s always keeping to himself and making me miserable! My tail moved so quickly that it was a sapphire blur behind me. I swam into my room through my window and threw myself at my bed.

    I spent the rest of the day crying my eyes inside out. I made sure I was quiet enough so nobody could notice, but by the time I was done I forgot why I was crying.

    I’m probably being an awful friend by acting like this, I realized. I’m going to go watch the test.

    I swam to the rock arena half-a-mile south from the palace to the arched entrance. There were two guards at the door in armor and armed with spears. I attempted to enter, but one of the guards stopped me with his weapon.

    “I’m sorry, but only testing mages are-“

    The shorter one interrupted. “Takeshi, let her in. She’s Haruka, the princess!”

    “Ah! My apologies, your-“

    “Whoa!” I shouted in surprise. The shorter one showed his face, then the taller one. Satoshi and an older boy stood there, smiling humorously.

    “Satoshi!” I said. “Who is this?”

    He grinned. “This is my cousin, Takeshi. He came here from Kanto too, only he came a bit later than us.”

    He bowed. “Pleased to meet you, Your Highness.”

    “It’s nice to meet you too, Takeshi!” I replied back. “I’m really in a hurry though, so if we could get acquainted later…”

    “Sure!” Satoshi said, and he held his spear upright next to him again. “Tell me about it later, okay?”

    “I will!” I said as I progressed into the stadium.

    It was very crowded in there. There were more mages than I thought there would be, but that was really an understatement. I squeezed my way into the empty audience seats, which circled the center of the stadium like a horseshoe. The seats were smooth and neatly cut out of stone. I took a seat closer to the center and looked around for Shuu’s very noticeable green hair.

    “It doesn’t seem like he’s here yet,” I muttered to myself. I took a seat and waited.

    It seemed like at the moment they were signing on a list and getting organized. I nearly dozed off for the hour that took, and then I woke up as soon as the crowd of mages poured onto some of the audience seats, waiting to begin.

    A cage was pushed into the arena and a mage was chosen to come first. The cage was opened.

    We all waited with a breath-holding suspense, but the elderly lady from before spoke to her audience.

    “We have a special guest today, Princess Haruka over there,” she began. I waved at the people around me. They smiled back.

    “Here is the test. You will fight this creature using your powers. If you win you pass. If you forfeit or cheat you are disqualified. If you are injured too severely to continue you will have to be disqualified. We will not let the creature put you in a very potentially dangerous state, however, but still fight your hardest.”

    The first person didn’t last two seconds before he ran screaming out of the arena. The second person seemed to have some courage, although his legs were shaking visibly.

    The cage was already opened, but the creature wasn’t coming out.

    “Topaz,” the elder called and whistled. Topaz, apparently, was the name of the creature.

    If only the first mage could’ve seen the creature! It was magnificent to look at. Its feathers were golden and they stole your breath because they shimmered like the sun. Its beak was hooked and sharp but creased with a kind smile and it had a set of wings! They were enormous and stretched a quarter of the way through the arena when spread out from tip to tip.

    Its eyes were brown and deep, and it had two feet with three, thin toes armed with claws.

    “This is Topaz, and SHE is a bird. A bird is a creature from above the surface and it cannot thrive underwater unless bred with the help of our magical powers. Topaz is fairly gentle and I ask that when she kneels down to you you will acknowledge that she has been defeated and you will stop immediately.”

    “Let the preliminaries begin!”
  8. DanK84

    DanK84 Manyula Trainer

    It's always something different than "May and Drew go on a journey" when you compile CS stories. This one in particular is one I probably never would've thought of. The part that sticked with me was when Haruka mentioned "early development" in the beginning of the prologue. It almost made me laugh, but then again if I would've laughed my mom and my brother would probably think I'm going crazy laughing at the computer. XD Anyway, this is interesting.

    I'll be a guard dog again if that's what you desire. I just want my fair share of bones. :D

    (By the way, I'll use Haruka and Shuu instead of May and Drew if you want me to. ^^)
  9. Stephy

    Stephy candies!!!11

    ...I wonder why I didn't find this earlier. XD

    Great story! 8D

    It's so different from the rest of the "Shuu x Haruka" stories about them going on a journey and yadda...

    I like how you made Haruka a mermaid & Shuu a mage. It's so interesting seeing them in a different way other then coordinators. 83

    Good luck with the other chaptors! :3
  10. Xiang

    Xiang Well-Known Member


    Arigatou, Arigatou, etc.!

    (translation) Thank you for the reviews.

    Haruka, Shuu, May, Drew (rhyme :3) whatever the heck makes you feel like you're typing something you know about.
    Yeee! A guard dog! Yay!

    You know why I'm so happy! I had ice cream and spaghetti today, and I didn't type a word of Ocean Rose!
    Which means I should get started!
    Thank you again!
  11. AHHH!!! This is EXCELLENT. I just started reading this, and I'm already in love with the fic. lol. I like the concept of Shuu being a mage, and Haruka being a princess. It adds a little pizazz to the story. Good job, Hyuuga Hinata!

    Add me to the PM list, please!

    ~!MK!~ ;258;
  12. Xiang

    Xiang Well-Known Member


    ~!Mudkip Kitteh!~ added
    ~Cecilia~ added

    PM list

    ~!Mudkip Kitteh!~
  13. Shadow Princess

    Shadow Princess Plain Trainer

    *BUMPING* I know so sorry.

    But still I really like your fan-fiction, the details are awesome, i'm speechless. It's so good. Anyways i'll make sure add this to my favorites.
  14. Esperon

    Esperon An old PS luva!

    Great fic, sorry I haven't time to review properly at the moment but I willl do you a really big nice one after the next chapter.
    Please can I be on the PM list?

    EDIT: Have a little more time to review to your ficcy now:

    The concept and angle is very interesting, giving your fic it's original angle. The descriptions of when May's tail has sprouted again is very amusing and wonderfully written. Her clutz streak is also added in, but not to an extreme, just a fault she has that can be used later at the wrong moment.

    The idea that merpeople from different regions mature at different stages and levels is really good and gives the reader a feature to help determine from what region they're from.

    Your story line is well thought out and the fic feels like it's going in the same direction and that you've got the whole plot already done in your head and all there is to do is commit it to keyboard. (I likes that)

    Drew keeping his sageness a secret until now is great as it's left moments in May's life where she has felt annoyed and angry at him for not fully explaining stuff to her cos it has something to do with his secret. Ash turning out to be a Sage is also highly amusing, especially as his skill is quite the opposite to how he is in the anime(no romance sense). I'm also beginning to wonder what Drew's little power is and how it will relate to May.

    The description throughout is wonderful and has allowed me to get a picture in my mind of what the background is at any given moment.

    o_O Thinking of that and back to the moment when May is waiting for Drew to come down before going to breakfast and she thinks of when she got seaweed in her hair and he had to comb it out with a fork made me think of Drew's origin...he said he'd used that before for something...does he come from the surface perhaps...

    Well, I've got to go now (ugh, seem to have to say that on all my reviews) and I wait with baited breath for the next thrilling enstalment when I suppose Drew Vs the birdy thing!
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2006
  15. Xiang

    Xiang Well-Known Member

    Thank you for keeping the thread alive ^_^ I appreciate your reviews very much, especially since homework has been keeping me from being active.

    I'm already well into four pages or so of the next chapter while juggling a research paper and several other things, but I work on it a bit of each day.

    I feel I've been lazy anyway, so I took a random bit of the next chapter just as a preview:

    Shuu looked right at me, his eyes striking through waving arms and hands to lock onto mine. Right then I felt as if he had sent me a message with that look: he was going to win no matter what.

    I looked to the crowded aisle. I probably couldn’t stop him in time if I tried to swim through, and if I swam higher I would be noticed, since I have a bright red tail. I was helplessly stuck, and Shuu was going to get hurt. Maybe even die. I shuddered.
  16. lara lynx

    lara lynx meow

    I like it! I didn't think it would be much when I found out they were mermaids to be honest, but you really pulled it off! Add me to the PM list please ^_^
  17. Xiang

    Xiang Well-Known Member

    Next chapter- and for the sake my need for a life, I shall do an analysis of this chapter at the end. Feel free to skip that, but it's for clarification if anyone feels that I add a lot of dead fat to this fanfiction.

    Chapter Three
    Topaz Tournament! Anyone Victorious?

    If only the first mage could’ve seen the creature! It was magnificent to look at. Its feathers were golden and they stole your breath because they shimmered like the sun. Its beak was hooked and sharp but creased with a kind smile and it had a set of wings! They were enormous and stretched a quarter of the way through the arena when spread out from tip to tip.

    Its eyes were brown and deep, and it had two feet with three, thin toes armed with claws.

    “This is Topaz, and SHE is a bird. A bird is a creature from above the surface and it cannot thrive underwater unless bred with the help of our magical powers. Topaz is fairly gentle and I ask that when she kneels down to you, you will acknowledge that she has been defeated and you will stop immediately.”

    “Let the preliminaries begin!”

    The mage’s name was Ryuumaru. His face was now determined and calm, unlike before. With hands covered in mage gloves, his hand waved in a moon shape. His staff, red as his hair, materialized before him.

    Topaz waited patiently for his weapon to finish up its entrance. Her brown eyes glanced indifferently at the polished red metal pole with a crimson plaque of a moon. The entrance was complete, and she charged at Ryuumaru.

    She moved so quickly that she was merely a brilliant flash of gold on the arena. Ryuumaru darted up with a flick of his tail, moving almost just as quick.

    Topaz didn’t stop there. She bounced off the arena wall silently and was moving even faster towards him. He dived towards the sea floor to dodge it, but Topaz just bounced off another wall, going at him even faster.

    Seeing that he couldn’t avoid the attacks for much longer, he whipped out his staff to block it, but Topaz disappeared right before she was about to hit him.

    Ryuumaru and the audience looked around for where she went. The redhead gritted his teeth in anxiety.

    I blinked, since my eyes were watering from staring in anticipation for so long. A clank and a shriek were heard right as I closed my eyes.

    Ryuumaru had been struck so hard he flew to the wall opposite the side of the arena he was swimming around in. Topaz stood tall on her two clawed feet, ready to attack again, but Ryuumaru was finished. He fell to the ground, unconscious.

    It was a horrific sight from all the blood that had to be drained, and I squeezed my eyes to avoid watching.

    It was the same for the rest of the first quarter mages- they were knocked into the ground or the wall so hard they missed death by a kelp width. If this was Shuu’s or Satoshi’s fate, I would stop them with all my power. This journey wasn’t mandatory to them, surely they wouldn’t have to risk this!

    Few were enjoying it, the rest shuffled around in their seats, getting more uncomfortable by the minute.

    “Wasn’t Topaz supposed to be gentle?” I asked a silver-haired mage next to me. He was in his thirties, and blinked his blue eyes.

    “Your Highness, this is gentle, compared to other monsters,” he explained. “And just looking into Death’s eyes in a battle is the maximum danger allowed.”

    I felt like someone dropped a block of iron into my stomach. That meant that whatever was out there would be worse than this.

    For the next hour my stomach wouldn’t stop churning. The world around me started spinning with an annoying whirr sound until the announcer yelled rudely into the microphone, “we have a victor!”

    I blinked and slowly turned my attention to the arena. Topaz was bowing down to a purple-haired girl. She had a wide, friendly grin on her face and she faced the cheering crowd. The applause drowned out even the microphone.

    “What a surprise! Our first winner is a young woman? What is your name?”

    “Kanata,” she replied. “Also known as the Lesbian Pig Tamer!”

    The crowd hushed and a cricket could be heard outside the arena.

    “Just kidding!” she said afterward. The crowd laughed nervously, still shaky from the surprise.

    This girl’s funny, I guess. She seemed like the optimistic type who loved to joke around. I really wished I could see her winning move, though. Her wand was really short and hardly majestic- but beautiful wands aren’t necessarily powerful wands.

    “I come from a city to the east! I specialize in cooking and I love hanging out with my girlfriends, but it’s an honor to be here! I’ll guess I’ll be moving on to the semifinal round!” she said. “I’m also thirteen and ready to set on my way! Thank you, Hoenn!” She waved as she swiftly swam off the stage.

    The crowd spouted cheers even after she left the field. The excitement was coming back with an increasing scale!

    In all the excitement, no one noticed a hooded figure enter. I could see a light green tail stick out from underneath the cloak. I had a suspicion, and it was true, I realized, as the person drew back his hood, indifferent to the ignorant audience.

    Shuu looked right at me, his eyes striking through waving arms and hands to lock onto mine. Right then I felt as if he had sent me a message with that look: he was going to win no matter what.

    I looked to the crowded aisle. I probably couldn’t stop him in time if I tried to swim through, and if I swam higher I would be noticed, since I have a bright red tail. I was helplessly stuck, and Shuu was going to get hurt. Maybe even die. I shuddered.

    I forced myself to stay in my seat, and the crowd calmed soon after as the announcer called for attention.

    “Our next challenger is Shuu. He prefers to not have any information released, but his origins are unknown.”

    The voice melted into a murmur in the background of my thoughts. The announcer, and all these mages were gathering around for their demise. If the test didn’t get them, the wilderness would. If no one went, everyone is hurt. Someone has to die. Someone had to be sacrificed.

    I didn’t want to imagine Shuu getting hit in a vital area, then falling onto the ground with a deadly plummet. Or some scenario like that. But that image flashed in my mind. I bit my lip so hard I must have bled, for the mage next to me stared at me.

    “Princess Haruka! You’re bleeding!”

    My clumsiness again? I quickly swiped the trickle away before I attracted attention.

    The moment that the match commenced, I felt at loss with words. Shuu had hidden this from me for all my life, and I was angry with him.

    I recalled the look he gave me and realized it was also full of hurt, just like the time when I first met him. He had looked like that. I hurt him more than this match ever will.

    I felt like rushing to my room to drown myself in my own tears of self-pity, but I wanted to stay and make sure Shuu would be okay.

    Shuu had a staff in his possession. It was long, thin, and prickly. Just like the stem of a rose. Topaz attacked first and I squeezed my fists. He merely twirled the heavy stick around like it was as light as air. Each rotation sent out a wave of sharp projectiles.

    I realized that they were rose thorns. Topaz avoided each wave, but I noticed that every layer of thorns was thicker than the one before it. Topaz found it harder to avoid as she got closer and closer. Several of them bounced off her golden feathers, but a few managed to sink themselves into her body.

    Topaz shook it off and came too close for Shuu’s comfort. Shuu backed away a little, surprised. His emerald eyes grew wide and he prepared his staff. Topaz knocked him to the ground. I flinched.

    Topaz had pinned Shuu to the ground with her talons next to either side of his neck. If he moved his throat would be slit.

    Shuu knocked his wand right into the bird’s face. Topaz was starting to display some aggravation and lashed out again. Shuu retreated to the other side of the arena with some gashes on his arm.

    “Ooh, he was lucky that time!” the announcer commented.

    Lucky? Shut up! I wanted to throw a rock in the announcer’s face.

    Topaz’s gentle demeanor vanished immediately and her eyes turned red. The crowd stirred up in discomfort. Someone yelled, “the damn thing is going berserk! Stop it!”

    I wanted to repeat the words, realizing the magnitude of the rising issue. But my voice disappeared from my throat.

    Topaz repeatedly struck Shuu until he was cornered. The announcer looked serious and several people were swimming out. They were the bird’s trainers, I realized, and relaxed.

    The bird sent them flying.

    I gaped in horror.

    Shuu was going to die.

    I’m sitting here while my best friend in the entire sea was being torn to shreds.

    My voice found itself. “Shuu,” I cried softly.

    Shuu opened his eyes. “Shuu!” I cried louder.

    He turned to face me. I could fear in his eyes.

    I found a renewed energy in my spirit. “You can’t die!” were the words on my mind, but instead, I shouted “I believe in you!”

    I flushed red, realizing how ridiculously cheesy I sounded, but I shouted again. “I believe in you!”

    All my surroundings disappeared. I could only focus on Shuu, with his surprised expression. I shouted until my throat was bleeding. But I just looked at his face, watching as the blood dripped down his eyelids and his cheeks and off his chin…

    I realized that feeling sorry wasn’t going to save him. My faith in him would mean more.

    Nodding to me, he slammed the bird away with his tail. I felt a sense of accomplishment in myself.

    Darkness enveloped me right after that.

    “…is alright,” a voice said.

    I opened my eyes and found myself in a white room. Doctor’s office. I looked around. She was on the phone.

    “Shuu! Is he alright! Is he okay?” I said immediately, sitting up.

    Doctor walked over to me with her clipboard resting on her arm. She glanced at me, and then her eyes froze into a glare. She used her pointer finger to shove me back onto my pillow.

    “Haruka, you’ve got to be careful. Luckily you and Shuu are alright, but I don’t have much time to talk since I’ve got a handful of mages coming in by the minute!” she swam off to leave me alone in my sector of the office.

    I rubbed my nose. Shuu’s rosy scent was probably in the sector next to me. These curtains couldn’t shut off the stenches of blood either.

    “Shuu?” I asked with uncertainty. My voice cracked painfully and I gulped.

    “Yeah?” was the reply, clear and calm on the other side.

    “What happened?”

    “You passed out from yelling. I didn’t think that was possible.” He wasn’t teasing. “But the test had to be delayed because the announcer passed out from yelling too.”

    I could picture him smiling in amusement. I couldn’t help but smile too.

    I waited for him to speak, but there was a silence.

    He spoke again. “I won, Haruka, thanks to you.”

    I stared at the ceiling in wonder. “I doubt it. I was awful earlier.” I was referring to his secret discovery.

    “I can’t deny that,” he sighed. “But I know you’re with me either way.”

    I found his wording peculiar. “Uh, okay. Did you get hit anywhere?”

    “My arm is bandaged up,” he said briefly.

    I bit my lip gently. “You’re hiding something.”

    “Fine,” he said, getting tired of talking behind a curtain. “I’ve got gashes all over my abdomen. I escaped with my organs intact. Hooray,” he added sarcastically.

    I laid my head back on the pillow and pulled the covers closer. I didn’t realize how cold this room could be if I didn’t have my cloth on. Colder still was his tone. But he was okay.

    “You sounded really cheesy though,” he teased.

    I felt color spring to my face and I turned away from his sector. “Shut up.”

    Doctor opened the curtain and grinned. “You kids sound like a bickering couple. Calm down.”

    My body temperature sky rocketed in a mixed emotion. If it was anger, embarrassment, or confusion, or all of them, I couldn’t tell. Doctor came to my bedside and took my temperature.

    “Haruka! You really need to calm down! Your temperature is high!” she seized a bottle from her tray and offered me a glassy pill.

    I shook my head. “Ah! I’m just… nervous! It’ll go down in a little while.”

    Doctor didn’t look convinced, so she took the temperature again. She looked at the thermometer and nodded. “Wow, it did go down. Alright, I’ll have to check on the other patients. If you want, you can leave or you can stay to rest. See you,” she said. She handed me my red cloth before she left.

    Doctor paused on her way out. “Also, I forgot to tell you. Satoshi, the gardener’s boy, won the preliminaries after Shuu’s match.”

    I hit myself on the head over and over. I missed his match! Doctor looked a bit humored from my reaction and I sighed.

    “Press the HELP button if you need me.”

    I ran my fingers over my cloth and put it on. In the next second I couldn’t breath, and I nearly jammed the HELP button.

    Doctor had to send a nurse to the patients and she swam in immediately. With one jerk she untied the cloth and it fell to the floor, color torn from the tight fitting. I gasped for air while lying on my bed.

    She picked the scrap of red up and played with it a little. “How long have you been using this one?”

    “Two or three years,” I said, panting. She frowned.

    “Alright, you need a new one pronto.”

    She gave me one of Wakana’s tank-tops to wear while we went upstairs to her closet. She dug around in the neat piles of silk and kelp strips of color until they were scattered every where.

    “Your mother saved two for you somewhere- Ah!”

    She came out with two of them- one green and the other red. Both were longer than my old one and trimmed with a gold-colored lining.

    “You can alternate daily, although I suggest this green one for now because the red one might be too big,” she told me, and sighed. “I’m envious, you know, because I don’t wear a cloth, I just wear this white hood and cloak because I’m the doctor.”

    She paused in thought for a moment.

    “Haruka, I feel like something might happen to you soon,” she said. She squatted down in front me and laid a hand on my shoulder. “I’ve always felt as if you were like my own daughter, because you spent a lot of time with me. More time with me than Wakana, who’s your age.”

    We both giggled a little.

    “Please take care of yourself,” she finished.

    I always felt like she was more of a mother to me than my real mother, who was too busy to have much interaction with me. I didn’t say this to her though.

    Doctor looked at me over her shoulder. “And Haruka, my real name is Abby. I want you to call me by that from now on.”

    I looked at her hair- it was always the first thing about her I noticed. It was a soft, clean, teal color. I looked at it and felt happy. I didn’t know why.

    “Okay, Abby.”

    She had to leave to tend to patients again, so I tugged at Shuu’s curtain, as if to ask if I could come in. I was in a good mood.

    Shuu snorted. “Haruka, if you want to come in, quit being a kitten.”

    I swam in slowly, headfirst to see how he was doing.

    Not so great. I looked at him covered in little Band-aids. He looked like an undressed mummy.

    “Big eyes and stares are a bad combination,” he sighed, and I blinked, as if that would bring him comfort. “Haruka, you have to promise not to cry.”

    “Huh?” I instinctively responded, confused.

    “I don’t like to bring people down, but I feel that because I’ve been hiding a lot from you, I should tell you that those mages that have passed the test, even though it’s only a preliminary round, will leave for that magnifyer.”

    My brain wasn’t processing anything. Shuu knew that, so he paused to let me think.

    “That means I’ll be gone for a long time.”

    It registered. Shuu was saying in a nice way that after he left I probably would never see him again. Or Satoshi, who had just became my friend.

    I wanted to feel heartbroken again, then I thought about how Shuu would feel. I wanted to be a more emotion-smart person when I saw how hurt he was. It was taking him a lot of effort to say this truthfully.

    “Once everyone heals, we’ll leave.”

    Don’t heal then, I wanted to say. But it would be ridiculous. Nothing good would come out of it anyway.

    “When will you heal?” I asked slowly.

    “In about two weeks or so- I’ll do some training in the meanwhile.”

    He’s going to avoid me? I felt like if someone was narrating my life the sentences would become choppy.

    An idea dawned on me. It was almost maddening how simple and how stupid it was. Maybe I was misunderstanding the magnitude of what I was planning to do, but maybe I didn’t.

    If I told Shuu he would stop me. If I told anybody they would stop me. That meant that I was on my own.

    “Okay,” I said quietly.

    I felt unstoppable and overwhelmed.

    I’m going with him.

    Ryuumaru's battle was introducing the reader to the whole battle thing and Topaz's capabilities. You could say it served as a transition from Topaz's entrance to Shuu's battle. Perhaps an element of suspense is in there too.

    Shuu's battle- served as a moment of shipping and realization for Haruka about some emotional things. It also reflects my view as a writer on believing in someone, even if that sounds terribly cheesy.

    Convo with Shuu in the curtains- a bonding moment and shipping.

    Abby and the cloth- Abby served as Haruka's mother figure. This moment foreshadows something and shows and reinforces the bond between the two, which will be very important.

    Last convo with Shuu- that moment of climax (although I'm not good at the climax and suspense thing- I'm studying it) and Haruka's decision.

    Thank you.
  18. Esperon

    Esperon An old PS luva!

    This is such a great fic! One of a kind I believe and I think I noticed a few things i wanted to say but i've forgotton them now...not so good...

    Can't wait for the next chapter ;)
  19. DanK84

    DanK84 Manyula Trainer

    *trys not to bark loudly* Oh wait, I'm a guard dog. Okay, how about I just say this. Please review this fic properly. (Such as: Give Hyuuga Hinata some proof you read her story. Such as, quotes, etc.) Thank you, and it's time to get my guardogging, mini-modding mode off.

    Now. Great chapter. (I'm a broken record.) Hmm..Lesbian Pig Tamer. I was not expecting that joke to come out of her mouth. XD I actually thought that the Topaz vs. Shuu fight would be so emotional it would barely even start. Meh, I guess I was wrong. Overall, very nice.
  20. Shuufan234

    Shuufan234 Crazy Drew Fan

    I love this! This is one of the best fanfics I've ever read! :D I'm happy for no reason and this fanfic make my mood better! I love the part where Haruka decides to go with Shuu :If I told Shuu he would stop me. If I told anybody they would stop me. That meant that I was on my own.

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