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Olive Trees

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by katiekitten, Sep 6, 2008.

  1. katiekitten

    katiekitten The Compromise

    olive trees​


    A oneshot.​



    She stood in the center of the almost empty room, a swift breeze shifting lightly around her as she almost embraced the silence, eyes shut briefly as dusty-brown strands of hair fluttered around them. She could taste, almost feel the rain that billowed in sheets just outside the window, stray flecks flicking across the drawn curtains as she stood facing them just a meter away.

    Her heart almost broke for it.

    It’s a sorry world, she supposed, when the soft click of a cocked gun is the sound of safety.

    She could feel the storm swelling around her, her imagination painting the amassing clouds that would be clustering on the horizon in her minds eye. She allowed her thoughts to fly through the thickening air with them, trilling with the humming winds and cries of fleeing birds. She was the city, and she shivered with the slivers of frost that slipped from the rusted corrugated iron of the roof, arcing in their final descent as the entire building seemed to tremble with anticipation.

    But that was the world she lived in, a world of anger and violence – and she accepted it.

    Lips twisting into a thin smile, she listened in almost earnest as the first brilliant streak of lightning lit up the world behind her closed eyelids, almost reaching forward towards the swaying curtains and the jubilant rumble of thunder like heavens heralds that chorused behind them. Only the bared, frayed strands of what was left of her sensibility prevented her from doing so, but they themselves were slipping from their moors, slowly snapping under the onslaught.

    For when was the world ever not like this? A paradise of peace? Even in the so-called Golden Age of the Jhoto Empire, tyrants ruled with an iron fist almost legions of Orean slaves, forcing almost an entire civilisation to its torn and bloodied knees, their traditions fluttering behind them in tattered ribbons.

    A sudden shift of pressure, and suddenly the very air was singing to her, twining around her little shack in a chaotic dance, shrilling their glee. Her lips trembled with restrained words, whispers of her answering call clustering on her tongue as she wove herself into the song instead, her power trilling into the winds.

    There was no time of peace, and the word, as well as the concept, she thought, was merely a myth.

    Sensing the warmth of a responding presence twisting around her, her smile grew, her cloak now whipping around her in the force of the gale, roping around her form.

    But why hold animosity against inevitability?

    A dulling of sound, a brief lull in the barrage- glinting shards of hail bounding off of her unprotected skin as she stepped forward once, a single slide of sandaled foot, until she was inches from the threshold.

    It was life, and life was simply an existence.

    Her eyes opened.

    Like his was.


    End.


    …xD;

    I’ll be honest with you. While I enjoy writing these little confusing things, what I really want to write are these cute little romantic stories written in a, surprisingly, un-confusing manner with no little extra meanings or what the heck. And I am actually planning one, too. xD My only problem is that I worry about the reception of the not highly unsurprising outcomes here, in a place that likes to be surprised, so the ones I post here, the short ones, end up like this.

    But ah well! I am determined that my next one will be romantic AND surprise you. ;D Although you will have to read it with an open mind and believe me when I say it has everything to do with pokemon… But I’ll get into that when I actually release it.

    On to this one, then. x3

    Confusing, a little, but if you know who at least one of the characters are it should fall into place: Our dear and well loved friend, the north wind. :3

    Reason for name: I like olive trees. :x For the oddest reason I was determined to get one a couple years ago. Pestered and pestered until I got one for my birthday. It’s all planted in my backyard now. x3 I love my little olive tree. Curse those strangler vines!

    I planted this ‘chocolate’ plant too, although it died after a month. ;_; Planted it too close to concrete. It really did smell like chocolate, hence the name…

    Cue the end of the random tangent. xD

    I’d like to apologise right here, actually, for the distinct lack of really direct pokemon links in my stories. :x Although that can’t really account here, for without Suicune this doesn’t exist, but still. I have noticed it, and I wanted to take the opportunity to apologise. :)
     
  2. Bay

    Bay YEAHHHHHHH

    I assume this is a one shot about Eusine and Suicune? You were inspired by purple drake's one shot about those two, huh? XD

    I say, interesting one shot. I assume this is all in Suicune's POV? If it is, nice you mixed in both description and emotions together. Can really feel what's she's thinking about while she was attacking and all. One thing confuses me, though. Why were some parts itaclized? ^^;
     
  3. Maze

    Maze I review too!

    I'm going to have to re-read this another time. I'm a bit confused by some of the language, but I'm also a bit tired, so I'll come back to it and see if i can glean more of your intended meanings later. EDIT: but maybe it's hopeless. I don't know what the story is with Eusine and Suicune.

    But I wouldn't be posting if I didn't have at least one thing to comment on! Something that really struck me was the questioning of when there had ever been peace. It's a very good question. I think, a lot of the time, we have this idealization of the past that's based on a whole lot of things that we feel now, it's based on how we view ourselves and our culture now. You grow up, become mature, become responsible, learn to respect others and all of a sudden you confabulate in your memory some kind of golden era of peace and respect that may or may not have been that great. It's easy to get depressed about how things are if your memory of how they were isn't that accurate. So I like that your character has considered this.

    Well, I'll probably edit this post some time tomorrow. I'm probably going to go to sleep now. But good work!
     
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2008
  4. katiekitten

    katiekitten The Compromise

    Bay-gel: xD;; ...Not quite. Who is Eucine? *goes to google him up* The oneshot is sorta not from Suicunes perspective either... God, do I suck. xD; I think this one's too confusing, neh? But thank you for reviewing, hun! *glomps with cookies* It's all my fault, no worries. I should've explained a heck of a lot more.

    Although I've got to say, looking back, your explanation really does fit, better than mine, in fact. :x

    The italics were meant to be the girls thoughts while she's waiting in the empty room for him. (Suicune. Didn't want to say it outright 'cause it sounded kinda dumb. :x *shot*) Suicune is making a storm for her, and at the end, he comes. x3;; The thoughts focussed on her randomly thinking that she can hate the world no more than she hates him, for he is part of it. Part of the brutality of life. But she doesn't hate him, so...

    But thank you again, hun! I'm glad you liked it, at least. Sorry for the utter confusion of this one. xD;

    *pummels with cookies and hugs tightly*


    Maaaaze! *glomps* Thank you for reviewing! *hugs*

    x3 I'm really glad you liked the thought section- I was slightly worried that people would think I'm spouting trout and scorn it. :x So I'm really glad you liked it. And that is something I have been considering recently, astonishingly enough. xD;

    Thank you! :3 I hope you sleep/slept well, hun.

    And I'd like to apologise to you for the confusion as well. :x *hugs and gives cookie*
     
  5. duncan

    duncan Well-Known Member

    How I so enjoy your style. XD Very nice, very nice. Yes, I'll agree it was moderately confusing, but once you said it was about Suicune then I understood it just fine. I think my biggest problem was that your end notes were nearly as long as the one-shot itself. XD

    Although I'm sure I've said it a million times before, the way you write really just makes the fic come alive. You painstakingly describe what needs to be described (in a very poetic, beautiful way), and leave what isn't necessary to our imagination. The characters just pop out, how you portray their thoughts and actions...just wonderful. As always.

    I certainly enjoyed it, nice work. :D
     
  6. katiekitten

    katiekitten The Compromise

    xD Thankies, hun. :3 *hugs and cookies* Just what I needed to perk up my homework laden afternoon. *sighs and snuggles*

    But I like babbling on about nothing-! *shot*

    x3 I am glad you like it, and my (albeit, odd) writing style - you can't believe how much the support means to me. You own, hun. :D

    And now it's time for me to write something for you. ;D *starts prodding in arm*
     
  7. Ejunknown

    Ejunknown be creative

    ...I never posted on the actual thread, did I? XD *headesk* I loved it, you crazy fool. :heart: Beautiful, as always, and you caught her emotions and his presence perfectly. :D *hugs*
     
  8. Sike Saner

    Sike Saner Peace to the Mountain

    This, I suspect, is one of those things in which I'll see something slightly different each time I read it. o.o Even knowing what it's actually intended to be about, I can see how it could lend itself to other interpretations, as well, which I think is pretty cool. ^^

    Something about the language in this seemed really appropriate, really fitting of the atmosphere in this piece. I thought it was rather lovely, too. ^^ And I particularly liked the italicized parts, especially this:

    I loved that. ^^
     
  9. katiekitten

    katiekitten The Compromise

    Siiiiiike! *glomps* Thank you, hun! x3 I'm glad you liked it.

    xD; I wasn't so certain on that bit - so I'm really glad it made the cut. xD And I'm also relieved you liked the language, for I have to admit, I was slightly worried that I went over the top. :x
     

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