One of Many

[Bulba the Great!]

"All right class, now tell me again-what is the formula for circumference?"

"Diameter times Pi"

"Very good! Now, would you please..." Mr. Ghing trailed off as he stared at the back of his classroom.Everybody looked back at Tracey Morgan, who was carefully drawing something on the back of his notebook.
"Would you like to show us your drawing, Mr. Morgan?"

Tracey snapped his head to attention and started stuttering.
''Uh...i mean...umm..."

Mr. Ghing yanked the notebook from his student's hands. He looked down at it and looked at Tracey with fury.
"I'm going to have to call home, Tracey Morgan!!"

Chapter One
Mr. Ghing was pacing in front of Tracey and his father.
"Tracey, this is the fifth time this month!" his teacher said.
He pointed at the picture Tracey had drawn, an almost complete snapshot of a Lugia.
"I know you enjoy studying Pokemon, Tracey, but this nonsense has to stop! We agreed-"
"More like you decided and Mom gave in-"
"Your Mom and I agreed that you could not go on a Pokemon journey until you got an education!"
"Dad, everyone else I know is starting their journey tomorrow-'
"Not William"
"But he's a nerd, Dad. He couldn't care less about an Aipom, he'd rather be getting A's!"
"Tracey, we're going off topic here, and I don't want to hear another word about Pokemon. Now, until you get your act under control, you are grounded."
"But dad-"
"NO BUTS!!! NOW, YOU GO TO YOUR ROOM!!!!"
"Dad, we're in the school"
"WELL THEN COME HOME AND GO TO YOUR ROOM!!!"

And that was that. Tracey watched the next day as all of his friends went to Prof. Oak's lab and picked starting Pokemon, while he was stuck in his room.

There was a quiet knock on his door, followed by his mom's voice.
"Tracey, can we talk?"
"Go away!!"
His mom let herself in.She looked at Tracey, who had a tear going down his face as he watched the last kid take the final starter.
"Why do you guys hate Pokemon?"
"You know very well I have nothing against it"
"But dad hates them"
"Your father has just had some unlucky happenings with Pokemon"
"He doesn't have to stop me from liking it"
"You're right, he doesn't have to. He feels you're letting Pokemon take over the whole meaning of life."
"I don't care. My whole life has been leading up to today, and look what i get to do instead!"
"I understand how you feel-"
"NO YOU DON'T! YOU TWO WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND! JUST GO AWAY!"
His mom bowed her head and let herself out.
Tracey was just starting up a tantrum when a rock hit his window.
He looked down to see his friend, Logan Clements. She beckoned to him. He opened the window.
"Come on out, Tracey!"
"I can't! I'm grounded!'
"Oh. Well, I guess I can go tell Prof. Oak to just put the Bulbasaur he saved for you away!"
"You got him to save a Bulbasaur just for me!"
She nodded. Tracey looked around his room and made up his mind.
"Come back around tonight. I'll pack my stuff I'll need!"
Logan nodded, and walked away. Tracey watched her beautiful blonde hair in the wind, but broke out of his trance, and prepared to break away from his old life forever.

That night, Tracey hitched his bag over his shoulder. He had packed everything he needed, including some Poke Balls he had nicked from his Mom. He tied head band around his head, and walked toward his room door. He said goodbye to his two year old brother, Sammy, and his one year old sister, Courtney, and then set off. Logan was waiting for him at the front door. She grinned at him and he blushed. They started walking walking when all of the sudden, he heard his mom calling him. He groaned and turned around. She ran up to him and said:"Don't leave without this!" She brandished a Pokedex at him. Tracey was lost for words. "Mom... I'll miss everyone. Say goodbye to Dad for me..." He then hugged her, and his mother started crying. "Your finally my big boy!" She then waved to him and walked back to the house. He motioned to Logan, who grinned, and they headed towards Prof. Oak's lab.

To be continued...

Well, that was my first ever fan fic. Whaddya think?


EDIT: If you want to see a better copy of this chapter, go to page three!

 

[Motig]

It had good length for a first chapter of the first fic. The introduction thing before it was good, i havn't seen that before.

you need alot more description though, alot.For your next chapter you need to make it longer and you need to space it out more. like:

"Come on out, Tracey!"
"I can't! I'm grounded!'
"Oh. Well, I guess I can go tell Prof. Oak to just put the Bulbasaur he saved for you away!"
"You got him to save a Bulbasaur just for me!"

Should of been this:

"Come on out, Tracey!"

"I can't! I'm grounded!'

"Oh. Well, I guess I can go tell Prof. Oak to just put the Bulbasaur he saved for you away!"

"You got him to save a Bulbasaur just for me!"


There were afew punctuation mistakes but i certainly don't care about that. Keep it up.

Keep writing and i'll keep reading

 

[Charziken 13]

This is a nice fic you've got here, Bulba the Great, especially for a first-timer. The tension between Tracey and his Dad is good, as it adds something to the story. Anyway, keep going, I think you could make a great story out of this!

 

[Bulba the Great!]

Thanx for the reviews, they're real encouraging... can't write anymore tonight, but i'll write some more tomorrow... it's my last day of school!!!!

 

[roodude15]

For your first fic it isnt bad. It could use more description like Shiny Jolteon said but otherwise it was good. If you need some help then look at Rules for Auspring Authors or look at some other stories to help. Otherwise it was pretty good. You have talent there keep it up.

~roodude~

 

[Indigo]

Ah...

this reminds me of my first chapter...*starts reminiscing(sp?) about The Mountain.*

Anyway, very good. Maybe a bit more spacing and description, and you'll be perfectly good to go. You don't really need it, but you should still go to Advice for Aspiring Authors, where great fics begin. Hee hee, I made up my own slogan.

Anyway, me like! Keep it up!

Your friend,

~Indigo

 

[cameronius]

Looks like we might have a fic writer in the making. I agree with everybody else on spacing and description, but hey, excellent work for a first fic.

 

[Bulba the Great!]

sorry guys, there's a lot on my agenda, here's my fic:

Chapter Two
Tracey opened his eyes and sat up. He looked around the tent he had been sleeping in. He remembered the night's events and felt a pang of guilt for leaving his family. The guilt was run out of his mind as he looked down at his new companion, Bulbasaur, who he had nicknamed Bulby. He was overjoyed to finally have a Pokemon, and Bulby was the best Pokemon a trainer could wish for. Tracey looked over Bulby to see Logan sleeping peacefully, long blonde hair covering a pretty face. He smiled and reached out to wake her up, but thought better of it. He climbed out of the tent and started preparing breakfast.

Tracey was just putting eggs over the fire when Bulby walked out of the tent, searching for its trainer. Seeing Tracey, Bulby ran over to him and licked his elbow before jumping into Tracey's lap. Tracey laughed as Bulby nuzzled him and took out some Poke chow, home made, and handed it to him. He brushed his long brown hair out of his eyes and looked around the beautiful environment of Route One, long grass swaying gently in the wind.

He was brought out of his trance by the noise of Logan walking out of the tent in her pajamas. She was rubbing her eyes and yawning. Tracey grinned and said,
"Slept in, huh?"
Logan smiled and nodded. She felt a strange feeling, watching Tracey laugh and brush his hair out of his face. She shook the feeling off and walked back into the tent to get dressed.

Logan walked out, fully clothed and ready to face the day. She smiled to see Bulby sleeping in Tracey's lap. She walked over and sat next him. She looked out across the plain, seemingly endless.
"Big, isn't it?"Tracey asked.

"It is. I wonder if it goes on forever..."

There was silence. The wind blew through the trees. Tracey spoke eventually.
"Do you think I made the right decision?"
Logan thought about what he was saying.

"You pursued your dream. There's nothing to feel guilty about."
Tracey was silent. He seemed different to Logan. The journey was already taking its toll on Tracey. They watched as Bulby played with Logan's Squirtle.
There was a sudden rustle. A trainer walked out from the shadows. He had spikey yellow hair and gave off a foreboding feeling.

"You there! Are you Pokemon trainers?"
Tracey looked up.
"Yes..."he replied, testily.

"Do either one of you want to challenge my Charmander?"
Tracey looked at Logan, who shrugged.

"I will," Tracey said.

"You're not gonna win!" he cried.

"Come on, Bulby! We can beat this trash talker!" Tracey said, more confident then he felt.

"A Bulbasaur? Don't you know anything about type matching?" the trainer asked, leering at him.

"I know my Bulby's going to kick you and your Charmander out of this century if you don't stop talking and fight!"

"All right. Whatever you say. Go, Charmander!"
A bright orange Charmander popped out of its Poke ball. It had an almost evil glint in its eye. Tracey swallowed back his insults and got ready for a tough battle.

"Bulby, Tackle attack!"

"Charmander, counter with your Scratch attack!"
Bulby leaped at Charmander, who cocked its arm back...

to be continued......

so, how do you like it?

 

[Indigo]

It's still short, that's your main problem. Fix that and you'll be good to go.

Oooh...do I sense a hint of shipping?

Hmm...you really shouldn't do that this early on in the fic. In my fic, a twelve-year-old girl 's friends are a 14-year-old with dirty blonde spiky hair, and a 16-year-old boy with scruffy brown hair and blue eyes. Both sound attractive. But I'm twenty-six chapters in and nothing's happened yet, on either side.

That's exactly the way it should be.

So you might want to re-think that.

Other than that, it's good. You write like me, so it's fun to read. I write what I like to see, and this is what I like to see, for the most part.

Keep it up!

~Indigo

 

[Treecko 93]

Everyone is right; this is going to be a good fic. I especially like how it was so much like real life in the first chapter; that's something you normally don't see. It is still too short. May I suggest typing it on Word first( well, too bad, i already suggested it!)? It also still needs physical description, and Indigo's right about the relationship thing. I don't really like early relationships, especially when it's not the time to happen. However, if you gave some background history, it would make more sence for them to like each other. Keep it up!

 

[Bulba the Great!]

sorry about the phys. description thingy... i try to add it in, but it's hard
as for the shipping plot, i know it's early, but what i forgot to mention in the first chapter was that Tracey is 14, and Logan is too. The reason they started so late is because Tracey's dad grouped up with some other parents who wanted more time for their kid's education. Prof. Oak eventually changed it to age 14. Anyways...

Chapter Three

Bulby slammed into Charmander, who took a swipe at him. They both recoiled, but stood their ground.

"Bulby, Leech Seed!"Tracey yelled.

"Ember it down!!!" the mystery trainer yelled.
The Leech Seed shot out of Bulby's back and zeroed in on Charmander. Charmander sent out a flurry of fire, which burnt the Leech Seed to a crisp. Bulby looked desperately at its trainer for support.
"Uh... try to lower its attack. Growl!"

"Bulba..." it said in a low voice, which sent Charmander reeling.

"Use an Ember attack, again!" the trainer yelled. The attack went shooting at Bulby, who cringed.

"Bulby, try and jump out of the way!" Tracey cried out. Bulby tried in vain, but its bulb weighed it down, and it was singed by Ember in the foot.

"Finish this battle off with a Metal Claw, Charmander!" the mysterious boy yelled.
Charmander's arm started glowing, and it raced at Bulby, who was still trying to stand up.

"Bulby! Use your Vine Whip to jump!" Tracey cried out in inspiration. Bulby managed to pull its vines out and soared above the battlefield.
"Now Tackle it, quick!" Tracey shouted, hair whipping across his face. Bulby dropped down onto Charmander, rendering it unconcious.

"Charmander is outta there!" yelled Logan, high fiving Tracey. Bulby leaped into Tracey's arm and buried its face into his chest. Tracey looked up to see the trainer softly petting Charmander, and then gently fed it a Revive. Tracey's face clouded over. He started walking toward the trainer.

"Will Charmander be all right?" Tracey inquired.

"Never you mind," the trainer said in a harsh tone. He recalled Charmander and sloped away without a backward glance. Tracey stared after him, but was brought back to reality as Logan touched his arm.

"We've got a problem on our hands," she said softly. She indicated to Bulby's burnt foot. Tracey's face hardened and he murmured, "Let's get it to a Pokemon Center. Now." He wrapped bandages around Bulby's foot and rubbed some ointment on it. He looked up at Logan, and indicated for her to get her things. Tracey packed up the tent and picked Bulby up, not wanting to hurt it. Then he and Logan set out for Viridian City.Tracey kept careful watch on Bulby.

LATER THAT DAY...
Tracey paced in front of the checkup room, waiting for Nurse Joy to finish her work on Bulby. Logan was sitting on a chair. Tracey finally sat down next to her. She gave him an encouraging smile and placed a hand on his shoulder. "It'll be all right. Bulby just got a burnt foot, that's easily healed."
Tracey tried to smile, but failed. Logan noticed yet again how weary he looked again, and wondered why this journey was changing him so early.
Just then, Nurse Joy walked out with Bulby in her arms. He was looking happy and leaped into Tracey's arms at first sight. Tracey broke into a grin and and hugged him.
"Bulbasaur will be fine, it was a minor burn," Nurse Joy said. Tracey pet Bulby.
Bulby nuzzled his head to Tracey, and Tracey put Bulby on the floor.
"C'mon, let's head out of here!" he said. Logan nodded and Bulby hopped along with her.

Tracey finally stopped walking as he approached a bare patch of land. He signaled to Bulby, and Bulby used his Vine Whip to widen to strip of earth. He then sat down and took out a map of Kanto. Logan sat next to him and peered over his shoulder at the map.
"We need to head through the Viridian Forest to get to Pewter City. That's where the first gym is," Logan said, tracing her finger along the map.
"Do you know anything about the gym?" Tracey asked, looking up from the map and pushing the hair out of his eyes.
"Says in this guidebook that the gym leader's name is Jiroo, and he uses Rock type Pokemon. So Grass and Water types are what's needed."
Tracey looked down at Bulby.
"I guess we're set then. You've got Squirtle and I'll use Bulby." Tracey looked confident.
"That would work, only Jiroo uses three Pokemon. I don't know if one is enough." Tracey looked suddenly worried.

"What'll we do? I don't have any other Pokemon." Tracey pointed out.

"I've got a Magikarp some beady-eyed salesman sold me. Only 500 yenis!"
Tracey looked at her, lost for words.
"You were scammed! Magikarp is the weakest Pokemon in existence!"

"Well, Feebas gives it a run for its money..."

"At least it's a Water type,"Tracey said, calming down.
"Now, where am I going to get a Pokemon or two for the gym battle?"

"Try capturing one!" Logan said.

"Like what?" Tracey asked. A Pidgey flapped down and started pecking at the grass. Tracey and Logan both looked at it. "That'll work."Tracey said.
"So how do I capture Pokemon?"

"Well, first you weaken it. You can..." Logan trailed off as the Pidgey flew off.
"Well, there goes your chance."
Tracey put his face in his hands in exasperation. Bulby hopped by, playing with a wild Elektrike which had happened to walk all the way from Hoenn, somehow, seeing as Hoenn wasn't connected to Kanto. But, however it got there, it was a wild Pokemon, practically screaming to be captured.

Tracey walked quietly over and watched Bulby corner Elektrike.
"Perfect, Bulby!" He shouted, hopping out of the bushes.
"Now use Tackle!"
Bulby, looking confused, went ahead and Tackled the Elektrike. Bulby got paralzed because of Elektrike's Static abilty.
"Oh no! Elektrike's Static ability paralyzed Bulby!" Logan shouted.

"I kind of noticed!" Tracey said. Crossing his fingers, he went ahead and threw a Poke Ball at Elektrike, hoping against hope it would work. It wiggled once. And again, and again, and again. It hopped around a few times before finally stopping. Elektrike was caught!
"I'll name you Rikelec!"

"What?"Logan asked.

"It's a family name, long story." Tracey said. He then looked down at Bulby, frozen on the field.
"I guess we'd better get Bulby some care." Logan said.

"Already covered!" Tracey said, pulling out a Chesto berry and putting it into Bulby's mouth. Bulby unfroze and smiled. Tracey let Rikelec out and Bulby played with him as Tracey smiled. He was ready.

No, really, he was.

so, whaddya think?(and don't ask where Elektrike came from, i had nothing to do with it.)

 

[Treecko 93]

Oh good, that was way too short for one chapter (yes, i noticed you said you would finish tomorrow). May I suggest instead of saying 'LATER THAT DAY' that you could describe what they did the rest of the day or write stars or something (once again, it's too late! i suggested it. Mua ha ha ha ha! Mua ha ha ha ha! Sorry.).

 

[Motig]

Yes, it was short but as long as you edit it to what Treecko 93 said or edit it to add the next part, it was a good chapter tho, it worked well. You need abit more description and don't bother about stats.

Good luck with the next part of the chapter

Your mate

Shiny ;135;

 

[roodude15]

its getting there. Just focus on your length and it will be fine. Very good though. Keep it up.

~roo~

 

[Bulba the Great!]

Chapter Four:Gym Battle! Part One

Tracey walked out of the Viridian Forest after a long three day's hike. Bulby, Rikelec, and Logan followed along behind him. As nothing eventful had happened in the forest, not even a capture for Tracey, Tracey was wondering how the woods were thought to be even remotely exciting. More like time wasting. At least Logan had captured a Weedle. Not that it was a big deal, but she seemed in a better position to win than Tracey. After finding out the gym was mysteriously unoccupied in Viridian City, he was anxious to get to Jiroo's gym. He had undergone intense training, and felt he was ready to take his first real test. He was brought out of his thinking as a man's voice spoke out.

"You're stepping on my merchandise," the man said. He had a shaggy beard and darkened eyes. The man pointed at Tracey and Logan's feet. Tracey couldn't see what the man was talking about.

"All we're stepping on is rocks."

"That's what I'm selling. Now get off and take a look at the official Pewter City souvenirs!"
Tracey and Logan backed away slowly.
"I think I'll pass," Logan said.

"Bulba!" Bulby nodded in agreement. Rikelec let out a harsh bark. They all ran to the Pokemon Center in Pewter City. After healing their Pokemon, Logan pointed to a sign up on the Pokemon Center's wall. It was advertising the Indigo League.

"That's our goal!" She exclaimed. Tracey nodded, smiling.

"But you can't get to that 'til you beat at least 8 gyms," a familiar voice said. Tracey turned around to see the mysterious stranger from the battle three days ago.

"You again?"Tracey asked, a hint of anger in his voice.

"Yeah, I'm just celebrating my first badge win!" The trainer said nastily.

"How'd you win against Jiroo with Charmander?"

"I didn't just have Charmander, smarty, I had other Pokemon to help."
The trainer pulled five Poke Balls off his belt.

"All those hold Pokemon?" Tracey asked.

"Yeah, but their not hard to get if you're a REAL trainer" The boy said with a sneer.

"Why you-" Tracey leapt at the Trainer, being held back by Logan.

"He's not worth it, Tracey," She said, sitting him down.

"Only a real beginner will jump a Pokemon Master like me," the trainer boasted.
He walked towards the Pokemon desk. Tracey and Logan beckoned to Bulby and Rikelec and headed for the door.

"Just remember me when everyone is marveling over the new Pokemon Master Vincent!" he called. Vincent flashed a glare at Tracey, then turned to Nurse Joy, who seemed to have missed the entire fight and greeted Vincent pleasantly. Tracey contained his anger and moved outside with Logan. Still fuming, Tracey walked toward the Pewter Gym, with Bulby, Rikelec, and Logan in tow. Tracey threw the gym doors open and was met by a rush of cold air and darkness. He wondered if the gym was deserted when a boy's voice spoke out in a sandy voice.

"Are you here to challenge the Pewter gym?" the voice asked.

"Yes..."Tracey said tensely. The room suddenly lit up. He found himself facing a bare floor. He looked up at a platform on the far end of the gym ground to lay eyes on a boy at about eleven in age. He had messy brown hair and a determined look in his eye.
"Where's the gym leader?" Tracey called out.

"I am the gym leader!" the boy exclaimed.

"You're Jiroo?"
"Yep. And you're trainer 405 to challenge me, and only five of those challengers have defeated me." The Gym leader had a look of confidence in his eye.

"I was expecting someone..." Tracey tried to find a word that wouldn't hurt Jiroo's feelings.

"Older," Logan finished for him.
Jiroo laughed.

"Everyone says that. It's all right. The rightful Gym leader is my big brother, Brock, but he left on a journey a year ago to the Hoenn region, and he hasn't returned yet. So now my father and I run the gym. Now, are we gonna get to that battle or what?"
Tracey nodded and took out a Poke Ball.
"Wait. We need the proper battlefield." Jiroo snapped his fingers and the floor started shaking. A rock field started to slide in on Tracey from both sides. He jumped out of the way just in time. Logan was shown out of the room("You're not allowed to see the gym leader's strategies if you plan to challenge him too") and Bulby ran to Tracey's side.
"This will be a three on three Pokemon Gym Battle!" the referee yelled.
"The gym leader cannot substitute Pokemon, while the challenger can. Let the match between Jiroo of the Pewter Gym and Tracey of Pallet town begin!"

"Go, Crobat!" Jiroo yelled. Tracey yelled in surprise.
"But this is a Rock Gym!" He protested.
"That doesn't limit me to Rock Types, does it?" Jiroo asked, grinning.

"Well, in that case, Go, Rikelec!" Tracey yelled, ordering Rikelec forward. Crobat glared down at Rikelec, who growled.

"C'mon, Crobat! Use your Air Cutter attack!" Jiroo yelled.

"Rikelec, meet that with a Spark Attack!" Tracey ordered. The two attacks collided in midair. The result was an explosion that shook the battlefield. When the smoke died down, both Pokemon remained standing.

"Now, Crobat, Use your Poison Fang Attack!" Jiroo shouted. Crobat clicked in response and swooped in for the kill.

"Rikelec, Quick Attack!" Tracey retaliated. The two Pokemon met in midair, and Crobat bit down on Rikelec with fangs dripping in Poison. Rikelec cried out in pain as its skin started going purple around the bite mark. Rikelec's body sparked, and Crobat flew back, not wanting to get hit. But it was a bit too late. Rikelec's Static ability had paralyzed the Right half of Crobat's body, and it only had two wings left to keep it up, and it started to struggle to stay up.

"Great, Rikelec. Now, finish Crobat off with another Spark attack!" Tracey hollered.
Crobat watched Rikelec's fur coarse with electricity helplessly, still trying to stay in the air.

"Get out of there, Crobat!" Jiroo cried, desperately, with no real hope. Crobat just couldn't move. Rikelec howled in triumph and released Spark attack. Crobat was hit dead on, and it hit the ground, sizzling.

"Crobat it unable to battle! Round One goes to Tracey!" the referee yelled. Crobat's face dimmed on the scoreboard.

Jiroo appeared to be thinking. He made up his mind and held up Poke Ball number two.
"Try this on for size!" Jiroo cried, throwing the ball onto the battlefield. Out burst a Gravellar, massaging its rocky muscles. Tracey's pupils dialated and he gulped.

"Will the challenger switch Pokemon?" the referee asked.

"No,"Tracey replied weakly.

"Then let the second round begin!" the referee declared.

"Graveller, use Rock Throw!"Jiroo yelled, looking confident.

"Rikelec, counter it with Spark!" Tracey yelled. Spark shot toward the rocks, making them explode. It sped on towards Graveller, then fizzled out as it hit the Rock/Ground Pokemon.

"Tracey, you should know, as a trainer, that electric types don't affect Ground Types!" Jiroo yelled.Tracey cursed at himself for his stupid action, and tried to think up a new strategy...

to be continued...

how was THAT? i sorta liked it, meself.

 

[roodude15]

I got your pm.interesting chapter. It has a better description and length this time. I especially like the part where you added a cliffhanger(sp). It's getting better, keep it up.

~roo~

 

[Motig]

Pretty good. Length - getting better, way better.

Description - Could use more, describe the eyes, the colour of the pokemon, how fierce it is, rough height.

Anyway, its getting alot better. This is a good fic, all it needs is more description.

Your mate

Shiny ;135;

 

[QueenBreloom]

Wow..this is a GREAT fic!=D
Just listen to what the other more..'advanced' writers say, and you're all set! Keep on writing!

 

[Bulba the Great!]

Thanks guys, I'll have the second half finished up tomorrow, so, see you then

 

[Bulba the Great!]

I'm sorry for double posting, and not putting the fic up... my little sister deleted my entire fic, so i have to go rewrite it now... I should have it up tomorrow... sorry