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Operation GEAR: The Angel of Reckoning (R)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by The Great Butler, May 5, 2012.

  1. The Great Butler

    The Great Butler Hush, keep it down

    It ended where all the setup for the actual battle finished. If I had advanced any further, it would have left off at an even more awkward place, and also what comes next with the group conversing might not have been a great ending place either.

    I think what you've seen to this point, and what was intended to be, is that Bunny is more uncompromising morally. This is not something that's acceptable to her, but at the same time she probably believes that Nekou *is* helping Olivia, so she isn't doing anything about it immediately - it might not be the perspective you see the events from, but Bunny has her own conflicted viewpoint of what's going on and I think it's an equally valid one.

    See, I think Matt does have some conflict internally about it, but he’s the kind of person who really tries to keep his promises and everything he said to Nekou in the previous chapters, he completely meant. Not to mention that he did have suspicions when he said those things, so he meant them.

    I’m glad you liked all those things. When it comes to how I expanded N’s backstory, given that this is a retelling of a Team Plasma story that could have taken place within the anime’s timeline, I needed a way to explain where the Zekrom in the first BW episode came from. I didn’t want it to be a wild one, and I always thought that Zekrom suits N better than Reshiram, so I came to the conclusion that N was able to summon Zekrom but not entirely bond with it, causing it to go off and be drawn to another potential hero (Ash) before vanishing until N could fully bond with it.

    Yes it does, and yet, he wouldn’t dare forget.

    I think that this is a case of him knowing there’s nothing he can do to undo what already took place. That doesn’t mean that he isn’t beating himself up internally for it, far from it. The fact that so much harm was done to Mitsumi through things he had no idea were actually happening (like his augmentation leaving a horrible impression on her because of the similarities to what Cyrus did to her, or Mercury rescuing the other test subject and leaving her behind) gets him, badly, because he rightfully feels totally helpless about them.

    That’s an astute observation. It satisfies her desire to mess with people, but much more importantly, you’re right about her identity issues.

    She was still wearing the costume described in the Nacrene Museum section, only with the hat swapped out for a mask.

    But anyway, boy, was that part fun to write. :p

    That’s true, I probably should have caught that one. And thank you for the compliment.

    I hope I can deliver within a reasonable time.

    Glad you could make it!

    Yeah, there’s a lot I would have done differently in the past, but like you said what’s done is done and given that it’s a cornerstone of how Anabel and Olivia evolved into the characters they are now, I can’t ignore it. I want to tackle what I have head-on and see what I can make of it now.

    I think you’ll like what she’s heading off to do. I have some ideas for a subplot Bunny will get, and we’ll see how it plays out.

    I think while I was developing that backstory I might have unwittingly made it more… real than I first intended, let’s say. That said, perhaps it is for the better, since the issue at hand is something that’s a matter of public conversation right now.

    Yes, in this version Ghetsis used N to pursue Zekrom. I always felt Zekrom was the more appropriate one for him.

    I don’t think I’d call it a backfiring. Everything she did there was deliberate.

    It just struck me as… right, somehow. Colress’s raging egomania fits someone who came from another egomaniac like Faba.

    Thank you!
    diamondpearl876 likes this.
  2. GastlyMan

    GastlyMan Ghost Type Trainer

    Took a bit, but I’m caught up! :D

    I thoroughly enjoyed these past few chapters. Because of me playing catch-up, this will be a (relatively) brief review, as has been customary for me lately. But rest assured, I’m very excited to see what happens next! ^^

    Here are a few of my thoughts. A bit disorganized. Also, my memory is a bit rusty from previous chapters, so hopefully I haven’t overlooked anything too important. :)
    • I enjoyed the scene where the Prophet initially preaches of the utopia she wants to build, then confesses that she simply wants revenge on Polaris. It shows a very relatable side to her…although, I must admit I was surprised at first. But who wouldn’t want revenge on Polaris for what they’ve done?
    • I might have said this before. But I really admire the way you are able to incorporate Pokemon canon places, characters, and events into your work. It all fits together so seamlessly.
    • I wonder what will happen when Matt learns of Gabriella’s true nature...
    Clever save there, Pierce.

    Oh man. While I feel bad for her, it should be interesting to see where this leads.

    Yeah, I loved this. A lot. Actually took a picture of it and saved it onto my phone. You’ve created a special dynamic between these two, and it’s really sweet.

    Heh, nice band name. But little things like this do wonders for building a convincing world.

    Nice explanation of how the fairy type came to be. Again with what I mentioned earlier, with your amalgamation of canon with original work. Awesome!

    Oh, good old Colress. Arrogant as always. Also enjoyed the scene where Nekou took him out with Stun Spore!

    Love little lighthearted moments like these. You do a good job of balancing them with the darker and more emotive scenes. Of course the Mawile should get the cookies. If I had a Mawile, it would get all the cookies I could find, heh.

    So messed up! But still, it does give insight into N…

    An excellent assessment, if I do say so myself! ;D

    All in all, nice job! I look forward to reading more!
  3. The Great Butler

    The Great Butler Hush, keep it down

    Thank you! It's great to hear from you again!

    It makes me very happy to hear that. You don't need to worry about it being brief, it's still a very good review.

    That scene was not part of the plans for how the story would go for a very long time. Originally, her true identity would not be revealed until near the very end of the entire story. That changed more recently, when I decided I wanted to make her a more prominent character. She could be considered a main character now, but her true identity was always the same person even in the earliest forms of this story.

    Thank you for that. That's something I work very hard on doing, taking canon material and spinning it into a new direction. I have some big ideas for the future that I think you'll enjoy, in the far future when we finally get to them.

    Oh, he's not going to react well. I think you can guess that.

    GastlyMan likes this.
  4. Sike Saner

    Sike Saner Peace to the Mountain

    HI AGAIN. :D It's definitely been much too long. Let's get right into it!

    Oh ffs, Ghetsis. Someone keep this dipwad away from solar eclipses. And laser pointers.

    Well. That's certainly one way to do it! Nikolai's probably going to have pins and needles for a month or something, but I guess that beats being incinerated. :B

    Precious little thing.

    I will always wonder what's with the pokédex's apparent fascination with dump trucks.

    That's the thing about a big ol' brawl with lots of combatants against a shared enemy: odds aren't bad that someone's efforts against the opposition could negatively impact their allies in the process. Neat to see that come up here; it provides a fun li'l bit of added realism.

    And that's a neat depiction of mirror move. :D

    Ouch. D: That's gotta feel really fricking horrible.

    Gotta love a brutal transformation! :D

    Gotta press that X button next time, Bunny!

    Snausages, Hoopa. So many Snausages.

    Lol. It really is amusing to see a guy like that in such a state.

    Oh. And, uh, somehow I get the feeling that Olivia has not seen nearly the last of stress in her life. In short: uh-oh Spaghetti-os.

    (Unless Father’s b.s.-ing, which I can’t rule out.)

    Colress just does not give a single frick, does he. What a little ****. XD

    (Iirc he’s not actually little, but that’s beside the point.)

    Silently laughing to himself all the while, I’d imagine.

    Gotta make the popcorn first.

    Oh, if you only knew…

    Why yes, she does. Secrets that matter. Dark secrets. ;)

    Yes, but you’re still Big Mclargehuge with a hairstyle best described as an explosion. And you’re dressed like that. Kind of narrows it down, doesn’t it. :p

    A king he happens to be related to.

    ...Lysandre confirmed for (very, very distant) Tenganist lineage?

    Yeah, best get used to those, Mercury. Lysandre is basically made of passion.

    Passion, and hair. :B

    genuinely laughs

    Uh-oh. That’s liable to suck for Mareep!

    And indeed it did! That’s a pretty darn nice hidden power for a bug/steel-type to have, I might add.

    You know, I imagine she’s kicked more than enough butts in her time to have evolved for the usual reasons, mean little thing that she is. But it also would not surprise me in the least if she evolved out of sheer hecking rage, because if anyone could do it, it’s her.

    Makes sense! I get the feeling that where any pokémon with static is concerned, there’s going to be parts of them where the electricity is more concentrated and parts where it’s less so—hence why static’s effect only activates some of the time.

    Keep this man away from laser pointers, and don’t let him dress himself.


    Well that's certainly a surprise!

    Speaking of surprises, them possibly-not-dead people. :eek: Somehow I'm still just evvvvvvvver so slightly hesitant to assume that yeah, Father = Olivia's father, but tbh that's probably just me hedging my bets and/or what-iffing for the sheer heck of it. I only have one other potential candidate in mind anyway, and only barely at that.

    Meanwhile Saeko's most definitely not a character I expected to see in the present or future. And incidentally no, I'm not ready to assume she really is alive again, either. :p But I won't assume she can't be, either. When even the remote possibility of people being brought back from the dead is on the table, the best course of action would appear to be to Expect Anything. Or at least, Expect Anyone.

    One last little note, and maybe it's something I've brought up before, but I've gotta say: I'm legitimately impressed by the fact that you're able to juggle just so. goshdarned. many characters. That's not easy even with a cast a fraction that size. Kudos. :D
  5. The Great Butler

    The Great Butler Hush, keep it down

    Thank you, it's great to see you! I apologize right away that this story has been on a hiatus. I've just been feeling more motivated to work on Gardener of Gratitude lately.

    Let's just keep him away from everything, lol.

    Nekou certainly knows to cut to the chase and do what needs to be done at the right time.

    Diamonds in the rough like that will certainly be more and more appreciated the rarer they get going forward, lol...

    At least he didn't send out an Indian Elephant…

    The funny part is, I didn't really plan it out that way. It simply came about as a result of me assessing what pieces I had on the proverbial table and working from there.

    [​IMG]I can’t take credit for that, to be fair. That’s the way Mirror Move appeared in its debut in the anime.

    You know it, and then some.

    I had a lot invested into getting that moment right. Since I built up the mystery surrounding what would happen to her if the other side took full control quite a lot, I had to deliver when that time finally came. Seems like I did, luckily.[​IMG]

    Well played, my friend, well played.

    He wishes, lol.

    This moment was really what Ghetsis’s entire character arc to this point was leading to, to be honest. The revealing of the one person who could swiftly turn his arrogant manipulations around simply by being present – ironically provoking him to lose all hope, as he so enjoys doing to other people.

    No, this is quite serious.

    You’ve got a good feeling on his character, that’s for sure.

    She was right when she said it was something he couldn’t bear to know right now. Oh, was she ever.

    I’ll quote you. “Oh, if you only knew…”[​IMG]

    I wanted to get some humor out of the Paper-Thin Disguise trope and since his “costume” is literally just the mask, I felt he was the best chance to do so. Unlike Ghetsis, who makes no effort to hide his identity at all, Lysandre is the one with the least in terms of a disguise. Also, in this context, this version of him is being a stickler for the rules and literally wasn’t expecting to have his identity revealed, despite how obvious it is.

    That is true.

    He’s going to be one on that panel who’s both dramatic and frightening while also being able to be played for humor. I think you already have a good idea of how – his bizarre outbursts of passion are a gold mine for reactions.

    True there!

    I won’t lie, I had a blast when I got to write that scene. That one feels so… her, you know?

    To speak about this, and about the battle overall, I wanted to challenge myself to write some more uncommonly-seen Pokemon. I could have given Helena the typical Steel-types – Skarmory, Steelix, Scizor, and so on – but I wanted to try something new, and I think it worked out.

    It’s probably a mix of both, to be honest with you.

    That is certainly a valid viewpoint! In this case, I was building off of Flaaffy’s Pokedex entries, which describe its wool as being where it generates electricity while the rubbery flesh insulates it.

    ugly laugh

    He’s a character whose interpretation in this I hope goes over okay. There’s a number of things that didn’t happen in the timeline here when it comes to the Aether Foundation, so quite a bit about them is different.

    Mohn didn’t disappear, or at least not yet. Therefore, Lusamine has never gone insane or been infected by Nihilego. They’re still working together at the Aether Foundation and doing it for noble reasons. Lillie and Gladion are young children here, while Faba still hates kids (anyone would after raising Colress) but hasn’t had the chance to become malicious in his ambition. That said, the Silvally project was in fact still created, but this time it was commissioned by the International Police following the Guzzlord incident around two years prior to this. Wicke is still pretty much the same.

    I did it because of Colress’s hair colors and personality. That’s the truth, lol.

    I’d be interested to hear who your speculation is. Privately, of course.

    If you’re in the mindset of Expect Anyone, then I did my job. And it’s a good mindset to have, is it ever.

    Thank you so much! Honestly, I have a lot of trouble managing to pull it off. I think that might be why I needed to take a hiatus to write Gardener of Gratitude, but don’t worry, I have every intention of coming back and really tearing into this again. I’ve got so much I want to do now and I’m excited to get to it. That said, I don’t intend for every single character to have a major part to play. It’s a big picture situation where some people come and go around the periphery, so for that reason I would like to write little side story shorts involving various characters at some point.

    Thank you for the excellent review! I hope you enjoyed reading the chapters as much as I enjoyed reading your review!

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