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Operation GEAR: The Angel of Reckoning (R)

The Great Butler

Hush, keep it down
“Now, the truth shall reveal itself! Go, Poké Ball!”

Having taken an empty Poké Ball from his bag, Matt threw it in a sweeping motion at the Roggenrola, who was struggling to pull herself up from the dirt. When the capsule hit the Rock-type Pokémon’s body, it split open and absorbed Roggenrola in a flash of light before closing and falling to the ground.

“I cannot say I approve of dealing with this situation in such a way…” Nikolai uttered in a severe tone while the others all watched the ball shake.

To the surprise of even him, though, shortly thereafter the Poké Ball shattered. Now freed and growling in rage, Roggenrola turned to face Matt and Charlotte.

“Looks like you pissed it off,” Nekou slyly said, fully knowing that Matt was perfectly aware of this already.

“Don’t give me that now!”

“Matt, watch out!” Olivia hastily cried.

Roggenrola was charging again, this time squarely at Matt. He hadn’t noticed because he’d turned his head to address Nekou.

Grunting, he covered his mouth with his arm and shouted, “Charlotte, Thunder Wave!”

Despite having tiny feet, Roggenrola was able to build up enough force to jump directly at Matt. Charlotte got in the way, though, and intercepted Roggenrola. She was releasing electricity from her body when they collided, causing paralysis to overcome Roggenrola while she was flung back herself. Matt barely avoided getting knocked down by his own Pokémon.

“I think that ought to do it,” he said to Bunny, Olivia and Nikolai, who were the only ones still paying attention to what was going on; Dante was already walking to the door of Mr. Pokémon’s home, while Nekou was spending her time looking at the trees surrounding the road. Sighing, Matt took out another Poké Ball and wordlessly threw it at Roggenrola. This time, the Pokémon put up little resistance and was successfully captured.

“I hope you will treat that Roggenrola properly…”

“You don’t have anything to worry about,” Matt said, dismissing Nikolai’s incessant concern while he picked up the Poké Ball that now contained his Roggenrola. Turning his head, he asked, “Nekou, what are you doing?”

“I love how the trees look in autumn…”

“I guess she’s just being herself again,” he conceded, sighing.

Meanwhile, Dante had long since stopped being concerned about what the younger members of his traveling group were doing. He was standing in front of Mr. Pokémon’s front door, waiting after having rung the bell.

“Come on, I know you’re home!” he called, his voice clearly conveying the irritation he felt.

“The Pokémon want to come in here and eat all the food I’ve got!” someone shouted back from behind the door.

“Oy, not this again… there’s no Pokémon out here that want your food, at least anymore anyway. And if you’d stop feeding them, they’ll stop coming!”

There was a hesitation, as if the owner of the voice was considering what Dante had said. The sound of many locks being undone followed, coupled with more muttering from inside the house.

“You can never be too sure in this day and age, Dante. Blasted Team Rocket taking all our money from the banks and all… this world ain’t what it used to be.”

The door was opened slowly from the inside, and the house’s owner shuffled out. Mr. Pokémon was a man about Dante’s age, however, he appeared much older due to his rumpled clothing and unkempt white hair and beard.

“You brought the thing?” he requested, shielding his tired-looking eyes from the late afternoon sun with his arm.

“Right here,” Dante replied, holding up the briefcase with the Meteonite inside.

“Good, good. Tobias and Gabriella have been riding my *** about this, and you just made it in time. They’re coming tonight.” Peering out further, Mr. Pokémon spied Matt’s group and Nikolai standing around and talking nearby. “Look at that. Look what the feminists caused, that wench over there with her body hanging out everywhere.”

“I heard thaaaat,” Nekou interrupted, speaking in a loud, sing-song voice. “So **** you, because I don’t care!”

“And now you see what I’ve been traveling with the last couple days,” Dante chuckled. “They’re good people, though. I’ve enjoyed my company with them.”

“Mr. Pokémon, I presume?” Having walked up alongside Dante, Matt addressed the strange old man himself.

“Who are you?” Mr. Pokémon fumbled a pair of glasses out of the breast pocket of his brown suit, put them on, and squinted at Matt. “Is it already happening?”

“Okaaay…” Matt took a step back before continuing. “It might be. You see, we came from New Bark Town, and Professor Juniper told us that Professor Elm had gone to visit you. Is he here?”

“Professor Elm was here, yes, but he left with as much haste as he came. Said he was going to the Ruins of Alph, if I’m not mistaken.”

Matt shrugged in response to this news. Granted, finding Elm wasn’t number one on his list of priorities, but he still would have liked to have located the professor.

“Matt, please give my farewells to Olivia, Bunny and Nekou,” said the doctor. “I must stay here tonight to present my Meteonite research to Mr. Pokémon’s guests. I have enjoyed traveling with you and your friends.”

“And it’s been an honor to get to know you, Doctor. Hopefully we’ll meet again.”

Dante extended his hand, so Matt took up the offer of a handshake with no hesitation. The magnitude his mind assigned to shaking the hand of such an important scientist was not lost on him. After that, Dante sharply turned on his heel and entered the house, then Mr. Pokémon slammed the door shut.

“Well then…”

“So what are we doing now?”

The feeling of Nekou’s hand on his shoulder made Matt turn abruptly. She, along with the others, had come up behind him while he was speaking with Dante.

“I don’t know. Finished looking at leaves?”

“I’ll remember that, smartass.” The way Nekou was smiling gave away that she was saying this in a good-natured way, for a change. “What’s going on with Dr. Fantomos?”

“He’s staying here to present his Meteonite research. He didn’t ask me to stay behind and wait for him, so I assume that we can go ahead to Violet City.”

“It’s not far from here,” Bunny piped up. She had a map unrolled in her hands and was studying their location on it. “Yeah, we only have a little way longer to go now.”

“Then let’s hit the road!” Olivia cheered, pumping her fist into the air. “Violet City and Badge number one, here we come!”

“Always so much energy… I have to admit, Olivia, sometimes you keep me going.”

With Violet City awaiting them to the northwest, the group – now minus Dante, but with Nikolai in tow – set out. The trees, their leaves cloaked in the earthy autumn colors that so enraptured Nekou, provided a warm framing for their trip down the dirt road that led the way.

“Stop.”

They didn’t even get twenty feet away from Mr. Pokémon’s home before more trouble arrived.

“What? Who said that?”

Nekou thrust her right arm out in front of Olivia and pulled her switchblade from her blouse with the left. “Someone’s here. They’re watching us…”

“I am…”

A sound like a gust of wind tore through the clearing, and one of the members of the Shadow Triad appeared, seemingly materializing from thin air. The color drained from Nekou’s face as she stood ready to fight him, while Matt, Olivia, Bunny and Nikolai all just stared at the strange young man.

“What’s going on here?” Bunny demanded. “Who are you?”

“I am… the unbreakable steel of Chaos… I do not have any orders to harm any of you unless you get in my way. Lord N, you are coming with me.”

“N? What kind of name is that?” Olivia wondered out loud.

“Tough luck, none of us is named N,” Matt harshly added. “Leave us alone.”

“I am looking at you right now, Lord N…” Chaos announced, leveling his finger straight at Nikolai. “Cease these foolish games… Lord Ghetsis has grown impatient.”

“I don’t know who you are!” Nikolai cried out. “I am just a simple trainer. Surely I am not the person you speak of!”

The striking sincerity of Nikolai’s words gave Chaos pause. In his hesitation, he left Nekou a chance to slip into the exchange.

“So Ghetsis is still controlling your Shadow Triad?” she quizzed the ninja.

Apparently having not perceived Nekou’s presence earlier, Chaos smirked beneath the mesh covering his mouth. “Well, well, well, seeing you is certainly a surprise, Black Cat. It must have slipped your mind that we, the Shadow Triad, live only to serve Lord Ghetsis and his whims.”

“Black Cat? What is this guy talking about?

Nekou went even paler at Matt’s line of questioning, but otherwise held her cool. “He’s trying to psych you and I out. Don’t listen to him.”

“You’re lucky I do not have the time to deal with you. Lord N… if you cannot remember your place in this world, I will force you to remember! Liepard! Bisharp! Banette!”

Chaos reached to his waist and threw three Poké Balls in a single motion that was so swift it nearly could not be seen. His three Pokémon appeared before him, one of which – a lithe-bodied, feline creature covered in purple-and-yellow fur – Matt noted he hadn’t seen before.

“Go forth! Bisharp, Assurance! Liepard, Aerial Ace! Banette, Will-O-Wisp!”

With Nikolai fixated in their eyes, all three of Chaos’s Pokémon lunged forward; blue light surrounded Liepard’s front claws, while Banette crossed his arms and threw flares of blue fire and a black glow surrounded both of Bisharp’s hands.

“No you don’t! Tanya, make your mark!”

“Right alongside you! Kayla, come out!”

Blocking the path of the three Pokémon with their bodies, Matt and Bunny sent out their Heatran and Mienshao respectively to provide some additional cover. Tanya’s large, bulky body was, in fact, enough to deflect the attempted attacks of the trio by itself.

“You’re going to protect him? Your loss… not even a Pokémon like Heatran will make me stand down… Liepard, Snarl!”

A single fallen leaf crunched under Liepard’s careful steps forward. He opened his mouth as widely as possible and let out a horrific screech, filling the air with shrill noise. Matt, Olivia and Bunny all had to hold their ears to protect themselves from the terrible sound. Tanya and Kayla cringed as well, but strangely, it appeared to have no effect on Nekou and Nikolai, as they simply stood still.

“Do... do you think… that’ll actually work?!” It was a struggle for Matt to speak under the influence of Liepard’s well-practiced Snarl, but he managed to force himself through it. “T-Tanya… Flash Cannon!”

One downside of Chaos’s honed attack was that Liepard was left vulnerable to a counterattack, which came when Tanya fired a large shot of silvery light from her mouth at him. As soon as it hit Liepard, the blast exploded, cutting off Snarl from continuing. Bisharp immediately picked up his teammate’s slack, jumping in and swinging his arms to dispel the smoke. Liepard arched his back from behind Bisharp, his coat discolored from Flash Cannon’s heat.

“I am one of Lord Ghetsis’s chosen hands!” Chaos appeared to be losing his composure, slipping into behavior more suitable of his name as he clenched his fists. “I will not fail him!!”

“It’ll be hard to please him when you’re in pieces.”

Out of nowhere, Nekou was right next to Chaos, swinging her knife down with his shoulder as her target. He was forced to defend himself by swiftly pulling a dagger from his belt to block the strike.

“You’re out of luck, Black Cat!” Chaos growled. “Bisharp! Lead Banette and Liepard while I take care of this one!”

A sharp grunt and a smile indicated that Bisharp gladly accepted the responsibility Chaos delegated to him. Banette and Liepard rallied to his side, and much like a trainer, he pointed his right arm forward at their enemies and spoke in his own language to give orders, which Banette and Liepard seemingly understood.

While Banette hung back, Liepard lunged forward once more, again attempting to land an Aerial Ace. Banette backed up his ally by waving his arms back and forth to generate a gust of chilled air. However, also in much the same way as the first exchange of attacks, Tanya used her body and her natural Fire-and-Steel typing to block and absorb the Aerial Ace and Icy Wind.

“I think it’s time we fought back. Kayla, use Drain Punch on Liepard!”

Moving with great speed, Kayla immediately closed the gap between herself and Chaos’s Liepard. Before the Dark-type Pokémon could react, she threw back the long, purple-tipped fur on her arm and punched Liepard squarely in the face using the fist underneath. The welt left behind quickly transformed into light, which was absorbed into Kayla’s body.

Crying out his name in an ear-splitting hiss, Bisharp leapt over the stunned Liepard, his hands glowing black in preparation for Assurance again. His target was Nikolai, but Olivia was standing close enough to also be threatened. Seeing Bisharp coming down toward her caused Olivia to cringe in fear; she’d already had one near-death experience with a Bisharp and had no desire to go through another.

“Magma Storm!”

The tornado of fire that swirled from Tanya’s mouth failed to directly connect, but it flew closely enough to blow Bisharp back with its sheer force. Once she was out of danger, Olivia ran to Bunny, but Nikolai simply remained still.

“This is not right…” he thought. Tears were welling up in his eyes, hidden from the others due to the shadow of his hat. “ Pokémon and humans fighting each other like this…”

As the Pokémon exchanged blows, Nekou and Chaos were doing the same. Sparks flew every time the metal of Nekou’s switchblade and Chaos’s dagger clashed, but neither of them could make much headway against the other, as the rapid pace of Nekou’s attack forced Chaos to defend himself instead of fighting back.

“Let’s see how you like this!” Chaos abruptly roared.

Deciding to take a risk, the Shadow Triad member dropped his defensive techniques and attempted to directly hit Nekou. The mesh covering over his mouth ended up getting cut off, but in exchange for that battle damage, he managed to slash a long gash into Nekou’s left shoulder.

Stumbling back and looking down at the red ooze slowly trickling out of her skin, Nekou spat, “****, you got me! Well, actually, you only got my clothes… I guess Ghetsis didn’t prepare you for facing me?” Nekou lightly ran her hand over the bloody wound, then raised that same hand to her mouth and licked the liquid off. Immediately, her mind began to race. “Mmm… yeah, they didn’t tell you, so I will. You might have cut me, but the thing is… a wounded animal is the most vicious!”

When she jerked her head back up, Nekou’s eyes were filled with a bright yellow glow. She screamed loudly enough to cause her voice to crack and lunged at Chaos, assaulting him in such a bloodthirsty frenzy that he couldn’t keep up. Her switchblade first claimed his gloves, which fell to the ground in pieces, then began nicking small cuts into his exposed hands and arms.

“You’re mine now, you little ****! All I have to do is beat you before that happens now!”

Chaos knew he was in trouble against Nekou if she was going to press him so relentlessly. Becoming consumed by desperation, he began to reach for a small pouch attached to his belt.

Before any of this chaotic scene could be sorted out, however, a new element entered the fray to decide the outcome. A Haxorus came crashing through the battle with her Dual Chop move, using the first swing of her tusks to fell Banette and Liepard and the second to separate Nekou and Chaos.

“That Pokémon,” Olivia gasped, genuinely surprised. “It’s…”

“You should not be using Pokémon to cause harm to those who have not harmed you,” Dante lectured Chaos as he stepped back into the clearing. “I come out here to see what all the racket is, and what do I find? Nothing more than some white-haired ninja scoundrel making trouble for some innocents. It’s rightly disappointing.”

“Stay out of this, old man!” Chaos sneered.

“Matt, Nekou, Olivia, Bunny, take Nikolai and go to Violet City as you intended. I’m sporting enough to stay behind and deal with this common thug of a villain.”

“You heard the man!” Wasting no time in agreeing with Dante’s proposal, Matt rallied his friends to evacuate Route 30 right away by recalling his Pokémon, a move mimicked by Bunny. “Let’s move!”

“Oh no you don’t! Not with Lord N!”

Of course, Chaos was completely unwilling to let his prey escape capture. Capable of going to any length to accomplish Ghetsis’s orders, he reached into the pouch on his belt, swiftly withdrawing and flinging a dart. The dart hit Nikolai in the center of his chest, and almost immediately, he started going into convulsions.

“Nikolai?” Bunny whispered, suddenly feeling terrified unlike anything else she’d felt that day.

“Listen to me, you’re going to be okay!” Matt rushed over to support Nikolai just as the green-haired young man vomited into the grass. Though he was not an expert in the field of their study, Matt knew enough about toxins to realize quite swiftly that Chaos’s dart was surely poisoned.

“Now will you be a good prince and return on your king’s decree?” demanded the shady ninja bodyguard. “That genetic suppressant ought to be working wonders on your freak body right now.”

His suspicions of a poison dart confirmed, Matt made a motion as if he was preparing to battle Chaos directly, but all the ninja’s threat earned him was a swift, high kick in the throat from a very angry Nekou.

“If you’re gonna fight dirty, do it against me, ****er!” she screamed at Chaos as he fell backward.

“Nekou, not now!” Matt shouted over to her. He and Bunny were supporting Nikolai, who could no longer stand on his own and was suffering more violent convulsions. “Look at this… whatever he had that dart spiked with really messed Nikolai up!”

“Hurry, get him out of here! Go to Violet City’s Pokémon Center. He should be able to get treatment there!”

“You heard the man, Nekou!” Bunny called out, intending to follow Dante’s orders. “Let’s go!”

It took every ounce of Nekou’s remaining restraint, but she managed to tear herself away from her fight with Chaos, even though she hadn’t yet worked through the rush she still felt. Blinking repeatedly, she forced down her aggression, and the yellow glow disappeared from her eyes. Matt and Bunny assisted Nikolai in escaping into the woods to the west, and Nekou escorted Olivia in following them.

Stumbling to his feet, Chaos yelled after the five, “Stop! You are going nowhere!”

“No, you are the one who won’t be going anywhere,” Dante offered as a correction while his Haxorus stood in Chaos’s way. “I will dispose of you myself.”

“Hmph, like there’s anything an old man like you can do! Bisharp, Liepard, Banette, attack!”

Summoning what strength they had left, Chaos’s three Pokémon all lunged at Haxorus. Both she and Dante remained calm, however. Neither of them saw the opposing trio of Pokémon or their trainer as a threat in the least.

“Haxorus,” Dante coolly directed, even closing his eyes as he spoke, “Dual Chop.”

Just like when they’d arrived earlier, Haxorus swiftly charged forward and cut Liepard down using her right tusk, then slashed Banette with the left. Both Pokémon crumpled to the ground as a result of everything they’d taken.

“Bisharp, Iron Head!!”

“It is over. Haxorus, use Counter!”

An orange light outlined Haxorus’s body, and when Bisharp’s metallic headbutt struck her, she immediately punched him squarely in the face. Because Haxorus’s attack was twice as strong as the move she had been hit with, Bisharp was defeated just as his allies were.

“Is that it?” Dante taunted the dumbfounded Shadow Triad member. “You were not even a slight challenge for me. Be on your way if you don’t want this to get any worse for yourself.”

“Ugh… I swear on my honor, I will avenge this loss in the name of Lord Ghetsis! Harmonia shall rise!”

Chaos quickly recalled his three fallen Pokémon, then disappeared using one of his ninja techniques, leaving Dante alone in the clearing with Haxorus.

Turning to her trainer, the golden-bodied dragon questioningly growled, “Haro?”

“He will present no more disobedience, so it is not worth pursuing him further. You did well, so rest awhile.”

-:-

A few hours later, after the sun had set over Johto, a helicopter rested outside of Mr. Pokémon’s home. It was colored black with gold trim around the doors, and barely fit in the clearing.

The inside of Mr. Pokémon’s house was as much of a disorganized mess as he was himself. Towering computer hard drives and bookshelves lined the walls, while his tables were covered by sloppy stacks of papers, magazines and foreign coins. On the far side of the darkened room was a red couch, on which his guests were sitting. One was a man in a gray uniform and a short red cape, who was sitting with his arms crossed; the other was a bright-eyed woman dressed in a smart black business suit and tie. Both of them had long, flowing hair that covered the left side of their faces; the man’s was shoulder-length and blue, while the woman’s golden hair stretched all the way down to her thighs.

“Governor Tobias, President Gabriella, is there anything I can get either of you fine folks?” Mr. Pokémon was standing hunchbacked next to the couch and held his hands together as he tried to be polite to his guests.

“Have you got any coffee? I’d really like some, especially if you could throw a lot of sugar in!”

“I’ll just take a bottle of Fresh Water, if you would.”

The difference between the two couldn’t have been more pronounced. Gabriella was outgoing and very upbeat, while Tobias conducted himself in a serious and straightforward manner.

Mr. Pokémon disappeared into the kitchen of his cluttered bungalow to fetch the refreshments that had been ordered. Standing across the room, next to a table on which he’d placed his briefcase, Dante stepped forth to begin his presentation.

“Thank you for coming out, Tobias, Gabriella.” Before speaking further, he leaned his weight on his cane and bowed slightly, then opened his briefcase to reveal the Meteonite piece. “I merely have a small amount of research to present to you regarding the Meteonite, as I described.”

“I’m all ears,” Tobias said.

“You see, the Meteonite…” Dante was briefly interrupted when Mr. Pokémon returned to hand Tobias his water and Gabriella her coffee, but he quickly picked up again. “The Meteonite is composed of an element that does not exist on Earth. This alone warrants further study, for it is clearly not anything that is currently included on the periodic table. This element, therefore, should also be called Meteonite, unless a new name is decided upon later.”

“That’s fascinating, Dr. Fantomos, but tell me… does it actually do anything?”

“Yeah, you know, Tobias is right. A glittery rock is nice and all, but if you can’t do anything with it, it’s only good for looking at. And that’s really kind of boring, right?”

“I’m getting to that. One property this element appears to have is responsiveness to itself. As in, if you use a quantity of it to search, it will react when a second quantity is nearby. It appears to interfere with electronics when it is activated, as if it is generating an electromagnetic pulse.”

“Could it possibly have a medicinal use?”

Dante coughed before answering Gabriella’s question; the air in Mr. Pokémon’s house was rather dusty. “I suppose it is possible that the electrical pulses released by Meteonite can have a stimulating effect on living tissue.”

“Excellent! I wish to acquire some of this magic rock of yours right away, then, Dante. I’ll send it right off to my R&D department at the Angel Corporation, and we might discover some new medical treatments!”

“Surely this element is useful for more than just regenerative medicine?” Tobias remarked.

“I was getting to that. During my experiments with the Meteonite in my possession, I discovered a potential use for it that was unlike anything else.”

“Which is?”

“While I was experimenting with applying electrical pulses of differing frequencies to the Meteonite, it reacted and created energy pulses. Nearby, a pack of Pawniard and a Bisharp went wild after being exposed to that energy. I believe that this element may be capable of influencing Pokémon behavior when certain electrical pulses are applied to it. I tested several different frequencies, and it would appear that the Pawniard and Bisharp only responded to that frequency, so I theorize that different frequencies affect different families of Pokémon.”

“To think a simple rock from space could be so amazing…” said an awed Gabriella.

“It all makes sense. I will have to direct the Tohjo Continent officials to draw up emergency plans for if more Meteonite lands on Earth after the Ruins of Alph strike.” Rising to his feet, Tobias extended his hand to Dante. “Dr. Fantomos, I know Gabriella will have the Angel Corporation’s R&D do what they can, but your mind is very important for us to have on this study. You may be the only man who can truly understand how Meteonite affects living things.”

“I’ll be honored to continue working with you, Governor,” Dante responded, accepting Tobias’s handshake. “Anything I’m able to do to help the people of this country, don’t hesitate to let me know.”

“Dante, you know, I have to thank you for all the help you’re giving us, for real. Since those things started falling from the sky, weird stuff has been happening. I appreciate that someone with a big brain like you is giving us a hand figuring it all out.”

“You’re very welcome, Gabriella.” Dante shook Gabriella’s hand after releasing Tobias’s. “I’ll arrange the transfer of the Meteonite to your building in Viridian City right away. Be safe on your way back.”

-:-

Tobias and Gabriella left Mr. Pokémon’s house and Route 30 at the conclusion of the meeting, departing together in the helicopter that they arrived in. Dante, on the other hand, stayed at his friend’s home; the two spent quite some time discussing the most recent magazines from foreign nations to be added to Mr. Pokémon’s collection over some beer. Eventually, Dante decided to turn in for the night, but Mr. Pokémon remained up, working on his computers.

Outside in the bushes, beneath the moon and stars filling the clear night sky, James and Meowth were working with the R-Pad while Jessie and Wobbuffet observed Mr. Pokémon’s house using binoculars.

“Look at this data, it’s incredible!” James exclaimed, though he quickly tried to check the volume of his voice. “Maybe this is how we should have gone about it this way last time, stealing the data after letting Team Plasma take the Meteonite.”

“Oh, come on.” Meowth looked up from the charts of data steadily streaming in from Mr. Pokémon’s hacked servers and hissed, “You know that’s not helping!”

“Sorry, sorry.” As the download of the Meteonite data completed, James deactivated the computer and picked it up. Turning his head, he quietly called to his teammate, “Jessie, see anything?”

“It’s a house at night, James. Of course I haven’t seen anything.” Jessie sighed and slumped over. The job of keeping watch over the building for signs of any danger was an incredibly boring one to her; in fact, she found a lot of their current mission dull. Ever since she, James and Meowth had been dragged out of retirement by Pierce on behalf of Team Rocket, she had been hoping that it would at least be for an entertaining reason. Simply sitting around watching houses didn’t sate her appetite for action.

“Wobbuffet! Wobba!!”

Wobbuffet frantically tugging on her arm meant that just perhaps, action had found them in the end.

“What do you want?” she sharply demanded of her Pokémon.

“Wobba!”

Following Wobbuffet’s wild gestures, Jessie looked back through her binoculars at the house. What she saw made her gasp.

“James, Meowth, be quiet and get over here. Something’s happening.”

The door of the building had opened, and Mr. Pokémon had stepped out. In his hand was the briefcase containing the Meteonite, the same one that Dante had delivered to him.

“Where are they?” the disheveled old man wondered aloud. “They’re late.”

“Sorry to keep you waiting. We are here.”

From the westbound road, a woman wearing a plush coat of brown fur emerged, followed by four men in khaki uniforms. The woman’s most distinguishing feature, however, was the mask covering her face, which was designed to incorporate the beak and red-white-and-blue feathers of Braviary.

“So you finally showed up, Mercury?!” Mr. Pokémon growled. “It took you long enough. Getting this thing was hard enough!”

“Oh, cool it, we’re not that late. Séduire and I were making some preparations for the next stage. I trust that knowledge of the Meteonite’s purpose has been contained?”

“There’s nothing to worry about,” he assured Mercury with a smirk, which quickly vanished. “Your son and that girl he was taking care of were sniffing around here, though. I don’t have any reason to think they know anything beyond the word Meteonite.”

Mercury slouched; this wasn’t news she was hoping to hear. “I really would have liked that to not be the case, but it’s not your fault.”

Over in the bushes, Jessie, James, Meowth and Wobbuffet were watching this scene with awe.

“Would you look at that,” Meowth uttered in sheer amazement, “Mr. Pokémon is in with Polaris!”

“This is big… we have to tell someone. It’s worse than we thought.”

Nodding in agreement with James’s comment, Jessie added, “Dr. Zager and the boss need to know that nobody can be trusted.”

“Nobody needs to know anything!”

Out of nowhere, Chaos warped into the area the trio were using for their hideout. The sudden appearance of the Shadow Triad member startled them so badly that they stumbled out into the open, blowing their cover. Mercury seemed unsurprised by their presence, but her followers and Mr. Pokémon all jumped, shocked by the sudden interruption.

“Intruders!” Mr. Pokémon shouted before seeing the ‘R’ logo on the uniforms they wore under their trenchcoats. “Team Rocket! They’re here! It’s happening!!”

“What is it you want, Team Rocket?” Mercury questioned them in a severe tone, having secured the Meteonite’s briefcase for herself.

“They were spying on your meeting,” Chaos explained as he walked from the bushes. “They know about the Meteonite.”

“Well that is not any surprise, not after how relentlessly Team Rocket pursued the Meteonite in Unova.”

“Shall we dispose of them?” one of the men in Mercury’s team asked her.

“No,” she replied, looking down on the Team Rocket trio, who were in complete disarray. “Let me do it. Electivire, go!”

The Electric-type Pokémon, whose bulky, muscular body was covered in yellow fur and black stripes, materialized alongside his masked trainer. They both took a single step forward, meaning to intimidate the Team Rocket trio.

To a degree, it worked. Surrounded by Mercury, her men and her growling Electivire on one side and Chaos on the other, they constricted closer and closer to each other, searching for a way out.

“Jessie, James, you know, now would be a really good time for one of you to come up with a plan!!”

“We’re sitting ducks here,” James concurred with Meowth. “What should we do?”

“There’s no way out of this one,” Jessie quickly concluded, taking another Poké Ball from the pocket of her coat, “so the only right thing to do is go down fighting!”

“That’s my kind of talk.”

Jessie and James each opened a single Poké Ball simultaneously. Jessie’s ball released a plump bat Pokémon with a heart-shaped nose and a midsection covered in white fur, while James’s gave rise to a golden coffin cloaked in a shadow that formed four long arms and hands. These two Pokémon, immediately becoming aware of the threat they faced, moved to shield their trainers with their bodies.

“How quaint!” Mercury blew her opposition off. “Two agents of a dying crime group trying to stand up against me.”

“You be quiet!” James shot back, his emotions finally boiling over. “We don’t know what Polaris is planning, but I’ll tell you that Team Rocket will prevent you from doing it so we can rule the world!”

“If that’s what you believe in, defeat me.” Shedding her lighthearted cockiness, Mercury steeled her stance and became serious.

“So what are you two mooks waiting for?!” Meowth loudly griped at his teammates.

“Nothing! Swoobat, use Heart Stamp!”

“Cofagrigus, combine your Will-O-Wisp with that!”

Cofagrigus’s red eyes, which were peering out from an opening in the upper part of his coffin, flashed brightly. He then made a flicking motion with each of his four hands, forming a ring of blue fireballs. When Swoobat started to glide toward Electivire, these fireballs surrounded her, complementing her glowing, heart-shaped nose.

“I’ll give you credit for having the courage to attack head-on. Foolhardy, but courageous. Electivire, take all that out with Electroweb!”

Electivire thrust his right arm forward, directly at the oncoming attacks aimed his way. From each of his fingers, strings of electrically charged webbing lashed out, washing over and knocking down Swoobat while dispelling the Will-O-Wisp flames.

Once Swoobat was down, Electivire released a second, more intense shock through the web, causing the bat Pokémon to cry out in pain.

“Swoobat!” exclaimed a dismayed Jessie. “Don’t worry, we’ll get you out of there. Right, James?”

“I’ll try! Cofagrigus, use Will-O-Wisp to burn the webbing!”

“Electroweb!”

Cofagrigus started to form more wisps of fire around himself, but Mercury’s Electivire cut him off. The Electric-type Pokémon now thrust up his left hand and released an even larger amount of web, now creating a massive net that held down both Cofagrigus and Swoobat.

“Now it’s time for this to end. Electivire, shock them.”

With both hands now controlling the wide net he’d cast, Electivire sent a massive surge of electricity flowing through it. The web ultimately burned away, but not before acting as the conductor for enough energy to leave Swoobat and Cofagrigus as twitching wrecks on the ground.

“Finish them off! Wild Charge!” Mercury wasn’t paying attention to the Team Rocket members, but if she was, she would have seen that they smirked slightly when she gave this command.

A shroud of yellow electricity completely enveloped Electivire’s body, and by using his powerful legs to propel himself, he lunged for Swoobat and Cofagrigus.

“Now!” Jessie screamed. “Wobbuffet, Destiny Bond!”

To protect his trainer, her friends and her Pokémon, Wobbuffet jumped in between them and the charging Electivire. Just before Wild Charge struck him, his entire body flashed with purple light.

Left with a wide swath of his skin seared by Electivire’s power, Wobbuffet crumpled to the ground. Electivire backed up to survey his work, only to be suddenly overcome by the purple light. Despite his best efforts to tear out of its influence, Electivire was unable to escape, and ultimately ended up falling as well.

“Well played!” Mercury said while sending Electivire back to his Great Ball, genuinely impressed at Team Rocket’s tactics.

“You ain’t seen nothing yet!”

Meowth charged forward, setting his sights on the briefcase containing the Meteonite shard, which Mercury had set down on the ground when the battle had begun. As soon as they realized what was happening, Mercury’s men all drew Poké Balls of their own, but it was once again Mercury herself who threw her Net Ball. Just as Meowth secured the case, a Pelipper appeared and impeded him.

“Outta my way, you lug!”

“Not with our Meteonite, Meowth. Pelipper, use Soak!”

Before Meowth could escape, Pelipper opened her large bill and sprayed a shower of water over Meowth. He wasn’t hurt by the attack, but he hated being covered in water and tried as hard as he could to shake it off.

“What do you think you’re doing?!”

“Taking back what rightfully belongs to Polaris. Seed Bomb!”

Pelipper opened her bill again, but what came out this time was a barrage of round seeds. Meowth tried to run, but no matter which direction he took the case, he couldn’t escape. He found himself trapped within a field of small explosions that wracked his body like that of a rag doll.

However, something else happened in addition – the explosions threw the briefcase into the air, and while it reached the peak of its flight, it slipped open and the Meteonite shard fell out.

“That’s the Meteonite!” Jessie exclaimed, having recalled all her Pokémon along with James.

“Meowth, get it!”

“I’ve got this!” Meowth lunged for the rock with his arms outstretched, and surprisingly enough, he safely got under the falling Meteonite with little effort.

The Meteonite landed squarely in Meowth’s grasp, prompting him to smile in relief once he realized he had it. That happiness would not last long – sparks suddenly started flying from the glowing Meteonite, followed by a radiant energy blast that blinded everyone in the clearing, including Mercury and her followers.

At the center of it all, Meowth felt like his mind was being torn apart. Horrifying images of death and despair flashed rapidly through his imagination, and he could feel his soul warping with every vision.

When the light faded and both opposing factions recovered their sight, they found Meowth standing at the epicenter of the event, eyes closed and holding the Meteonite in his arms.

“The Meteonite became unstable again…” James immediately observed.

“Wait, what’s wrong with Meowth?” wondered Jessie.

On the other side of the clearing, Mercury knew exactly what was going on. “Meowth, come over here. Be a good boy and give us the Meteonite piece back.”

“Yes, as you wish…” the feline Pokémon mumbled. He turned and shuffled to Mercury to hand over the Meteonite, and it was not until then that he finally opened his eyes.

Meowth’s eyes were filled with red.

“What have you done to him?” James angrily demanded, stomping his foot into the ground hard enough to leave a relatively deep footprint.

“Isn’t it obvious? The Meteonite can control the minds of Pokémon! You know that! Your Meowth just exposed himself directly to its power as it became unstable, so it has changed him. He is now one of us!”

“That’s a lie! Meowth, you’d never betray me, right?”

The silence that Jessie was met with told her everything she needed to know. Something really had happened to force Meowth to switch sides.

“Well, I would call this a successful meeting. We’ve got the Meteonite and Team Rocket’s Meowth is now a Polaris member. I’d say it’s time for us to call it a day. Pelipper, Gunk Sh…”

Mercury’s final command was cut off by the sound of a speeding car. A short, black limousine came tearing into the clearing, spinning to a stop near Jessie and James, and the flash of a Poké Ball from inside released an Arbok.

“Arbok, Thunder Fang!” Ariana commanded from inside the car. Arbok immediately went off lunging at Pelipper, so Ariana then called to Jessie and James, “Hurry unless you want to get captured or killed!”

“But they got Meowth!” James yelled back.

Ariana let out an exasperated, exaggerated sigh. “Then I’ll have to just pick you up on my own. Arbok, Poison Tail!”

Pelipper was already stunned by the time Arbok brought his tail down on her. Smashed into the ground and unconscious, Pelipper would no longer be a problem for Team Rocket’s goals.

However, before they could do anything, Jessie and James had their path to Mercury and Meowth blocked by a Gastrodon, a Porygon2, a Sandslash and a Weavile. The four Pokémon under the ownership of Mercury’s henchmen glared menacingly at the now helpless Team Rocket members.

“Jessie, what do we do? We’ve got to get to him!”

“I-I don’t know!” Admitting helplessness was something Jessie hated doing, but the situation gave her no other choice. “Meowth, snap out of it!”

“If that’s the best you can do,” Mercury taunted them, “give up now. You’re in over your heads.”

Jessie and James both opened their mouths to respond, but before they could, Ariana’s Arbok slithered and coiled around them, then dragged them into Ariana’s car.

“Hurry, stop them!” Mercury ordered her subordinates.

Before the four Pokémon still under her squad’s command could launch any kind of attack, a weapon installed in Ariana’s car discharged a thick smokescreen. With their sight impaired, the Pokémon were powerless to prevent Team Rocket’s escape.

Inside the plush interior of the car, however, there was no feeling of victory. Both Jessie and James, while still trying to maintain some air of respect for their superior, felt completely outraged at what they’d been forced to do.

“How can you make us leave Meowth behind? They brainwashed him!”

“You and Dr. Zager didn’t tell us everything we needed to know!” James added. “Team Plasma? Mr. Pokémon being a Polaris member? We weren’t prepared to deal with this!”

Ariana kept her gaze fixed straight ahead and continued driving as she responded to them. “There are things even we didn’t know. We thought Ghetsis was the only Team Plasma member involved in this, and we had no intelligence to indicate that Mr. Pokémon was one of them. I’m sorry about Meowth, but there’s nothing we could have done back there. I’m taking you two back to Dr. Zager and we’ll talk to the boss.”

“Well, make it quick, because James and I are going to get him back.”

“We’ll make them sorry they messed with us. It’s personal now.”







END of CHAPTER 6
 

Matori

THE QUEEN IS BACK
This was an exciting chapter. It was shorter than some of your others, but you really worked a lot of great stuff into it.

Matt and Nekou had spent a small amount of time talking over the beer she shared with him the previous night. Somehow, it was actually a worthwhile discussion – they spoke of Olivia’s well-being for a while, then started talking about books they liked. The alcohol took its toll on Matt, though, and he soon felt tired. It was not long after that that he simply fell asleep.
This is really really cute. I love the idea of two friends just chilling with beer and talking about stuff.

The answer didn’t come immediately to him. He glanced over the four of them; the flamboyant young woman, his conservatively-dressed friend and her outlandish counterpart, and the elderly scientist wearing a brown coat and holding a briefcase in his hand. All of them merely stood before Matt and stared back as he tried to figure out what was wrong.
This really gives an idea of how much of a group of misfits they are.

On the upside, though, he slept well and felt completely reinvigorated the next day. As he had finished eating well before the others had even all gotten up, he separated from them and left the Pokémon Center to await them at the gateway to Route 30. The bright morning sun cast golden light over the flowing grass stretching out beyond the borders of Cherrygrove City; it also warmed the earthy red leaves of the autumn trees surrounding the route.

Excellent, gorgeous imagery.

At that same time, somewhere far away, Finansielle was meeting with Jeunes and Getriebe. The video screen displaying her armor-covered shoulders, head and face was so outsized that it allowed her to lord over the sterile, metallic laboratory where the two male Polaris members were.

Polaris sure isn't subtle, are they?

“But everything else is going exactly according to plan,” Jeunes made sure to hastily add, all while pushing up his Mewtwo mask to push up the glasses held underneath. “The gathering of battle data has gone smoothly. We’re tracking the Meteonite right now, and we have several teams ready to go to secure it, which I intend to personally lead. Getting back to the Pokérus for a moment, though, we have managed to find the way to trigger a transformation in its genetic makeup. We just don’t know how to get it to mutate into what we want yet.”

uh-oh.


Further up the lightly wooded road of Route 30, Renzo and his Drowzee were engaged in a battle against a wild Pokémon while three younger children watched from the sidelines. The Pokémon – a fluffy, round, white ball of cotton – used a pair of green leaf-like appendages to flutter out of Drowzee’s grasp, making it hard for the Psychic-type to land a hit.

General Renzo thoughts: I really love how you've characterized him, especially his speech patterns, and his admirers are really cute too. He's a jerk but he's sort of adorable in his own way.

“Bring it on!” Olivia immediately shot back, without even taking a moment to think. “I beat you once and I’ll do it again!”

aww, Olivia. I love how badass she is, and confident.

“Don’t you think that’s a little cruel?” By the scowl on her face, Bunny was clearly bothered by Renzo’s names for Olivia. “The way you talk, you make it sound like Olivia killed your mother or something.”

Love Bunny sticking up for Olivia.

The battle between Renzo and Olivia flows excellently, I think. The way you show how brutal a battler Gurdurr is and how loyal Olivia's Pokemon are really makes a good contrast between the two rivals- Renzo is merciless, but Olivia's Pokemon are more than willing to fight through for her even if it's futile. Watching Olivia slowly lose confidence was heartbreaking, though.

“**** this!” Nekou screeched, still trying to get through to Olivia. “Olivia, there’s no shame in throwing in the towel! This isn’t worth it anymore!”

I think this is a really important scene for Nekou because it shows even though she's supportive and a sis of sorts to Olivia, she also knows when to tell Olivia hard things and protect her.

“You would know if it was me, kid. And ‘*****?’ You wish that was the worst name I’ve been called.”

Never change, Nekou.

To the surprise of all the people gathered on the road, a tall, lithe young man jumped from the bushes to stand in the middle of the battle. His windbreaker jacket – designed with a checkerboard pattern over half-black, half-white coloring – fit loosely on his thin frame, while his long green hair flowed into a ponytail against his back from beneath his similarly-colored baseball cap.

I WONDER WHO THIS COULD BE.

I love the little detail on his jacket, nice shoutout there.

“So ungrateful, but I forgive you…” The strange young trainer continued gesturing strangely as he spoke, moving his hands and arms in wide, sweeping gestures. “My name is Nikolai, and I am a trainer… well, that’s not quite right. I am searching… for trainers and Pokémon who get along as equals. Where will you go from our meeting?”

I adore how you've characterized him so far. It matches his character perfectly, and it really makes him stand out. His speech style is also something I think you got right, I really adore it.

“Because I used to know someone who had that power.” Reaching into his coat, Matt took out a pocketwatch, which he opened. Inside was a second cover, and on that second cover was a painting. It depicted a young woman, wearing white priestess clothing and her brown hair styled into three buns, whose face was distinguished by thick eyebrows above a pair of fierce, powerful blue eyes. Matt spent a moment looking at the painting, allowing himself the memories and regrets it brought to mind, before he spoke again. “Sheena was her name. She had the power of Transcendence like you, except she could only link with the hearts of people and Pokémon, not heal them like you do.”

aww, Sheena. The pocketwatch detail is really sweet. I love how Nikolai also has that ability, it makes perfect sense with the talking to Pokemon thing.

Out on the road, Nikolai seemed to have a childlike sense of wonder as he examined Matt’s six Pokémon, the light of his power emanating from his outstretched hands all the while. He had quickly gravitated towards Matt’s Heatran, as he was aware of the kind of stories told about the stout-bodied Fire-and-Steel-type. Next, he moved on to Matt’s Sigilyph and Golurk, and the brightly-colored, three-eyed bird and towering golem both appeared more than happy to interact with him. The same could also be said about his Salamence and Beartic, but his final Pokémon – an eel whose blue body had three yellow dots on each side – visibly vexed him.

This is also really cute. You really got his childlike nature perfect, but in a way that's not insulting or degrading to him. It's more on the "innocent and curious" side than the "stupid" side.

“That scary guy on the television keeps telling us that trainers who have starter Pokémon and Pokédexes are the reason why trainers like my friends and I never get anywhere…”

“Do you mean Ghetsis?” Nekou interrupted. When the boy nodded, she asked him, “What do you mean when you say that you and your friends never get anywhere?”

“None of us have starter Pokémon. I just have my Taillow, while Julia has her Sandshrew and Ronald has his Marill. The three of us have been trying to make it to Violet City for weeks, but stronger trainers keep coming and beating us, and we don’t have enough money for medicine or the Pokémon Center…”

Having listened intently to the boy’s story, Nekou decided to give them help. She immediately looked up and called, “Matt!”

“What?” He had been watching Nikolai with his Pokémon, and as a result he was not paying attention to Olivia or the children.

“Call HR-E here. These kids are in desperate need of some supplies.”

“Hm?” Nekou’s request was so sudden that it took Matt several seconds to fully process exactly what it was she wanted. Once he fully grasped it, though, he reached up to his mask and pressed a tiny button located just under the eyepiece. “It’ll be here in a little while. What’d I miss?”

“Ghetsis has been giving speeches claiming that trainers with starter Pokémon and Pokédexes keep trainers without those things from succeeding. I think this might be a little more serious than just the typical dime a dozen television snake oil salesman.”

“Isn’t Pokémon training supposed to be about making it your own way, no matter which way you choose?” Olivia wondered out loud. “The idea of one group of trainers making it harder for another group of trainers to succeed doesn’t make sense to me.”

This scene really hits on something a lot of stories don't cover, mainly the differences in class that must be lurking under the surface in the Pokemon universe, the implications of prize money in battles, and the power of the media.

Meowth reached under James’s arm and pressed his paw against the R-Pad’s screen, triggering a pre-recorded video of Dr. Zager sitting in front of a camera.

“Welcome. If you’re watching this video, something has gone wrong with the mission to capture the Meteonite from Route 29, and therefore you require the pre-prepared contingency plan. On Route 30 is the home of a man known as Mr. Pokémon, who collects and researches rare treasures. It is highly likely that he possesses information on the Meteonite. You are to remotely hack into his servers and download any data you can find, then forward it on to me.”

I love the idea of pre-recorded backup plan videos.

The house, a modest, two-story building made of wood, was being attacked by a Pokémon. They had to look carefully to see it, but there was a blue rock Pokémon shooting energy blasts from its yellow core at the structure.

“What is that Pokémon?”

Even before Matt finished asking his question, Olivia had her Pokédex out and was already in the process of scanning the Pokémon.

“Roggenrola, the Mantle Pokémon. The hexagonal-shaped hole is its ear. It has a tendency to walk in the direction the sound is coming from.”

Roggenrola are really, really weird. The image is hilariously awkward.

“Ro-genn!” she cried, rushing forward on her tiny brown feet. She threw herself at Charlotte, but the Eelektrik weaved away, allowing the failed Headbutt attack to sail harmlessly past. Roggenrola ended up sliding into the dirt just beyond where Charlotte stood.

DEAD.

“I think that ought to do it,” he said to Bunny, Olivia and Nikolai, who were the only ones still paying attention to what was going on; Dante was already walking to the door of Mr. Pokémon’s home, while Nekou was spending her time looking at the trees surrounding the road. Sighing, Matt took out another Poké Ball and wordlessly threw it at Roggenrola. This time, the Pokémon put up little resistance and was successfully captured.

“I hope you will treat that Roggenrola properly…”

“You don’t have anything to worry about,” Matt said, dismissing Nikolai’s incessant concern while he picked up the Poké Ball that now contained his Roggenrola. Turning his head, he asked, “Nekou, what are you doing?”

“I love how the trees look in autumn…”

“I guess she’s just being herself again,” he conceded, sighing.

haha Nekou.


I LOVE MR. POKEMON. I love how he's a conspiracy nut and some kind of Alex Jones fanboy type who's also a woman-hater on top of all that, and I love how Nekou has absolutely zero ****s to be given when he calls her a wench.

“I don’t know. Finished looking at leaves?”

“I’ll remember that, smartass.” The way Nekou was smiling gave away that she was saying this in a good-natured way, for a change. “What’s going on with Dr. Fantomos?”

hahaha

Apparently having not perceived Nekou’s presence earlier, Chaos smirked beneath the mesh covering his mouth. “Well, well, well, seeing you is certainly a surprise, Black Cat. It must have slipped your mind that we, the Shadow Triad, live only to serve Lord Ghetsis and his whims.”

>Black Cat
I see what you did there.

“It’ll be hard to please him when you’re in pieces.”

most badass one-liner ever.

The battle against the Shadow Triad was nicely brutal, I think you made it very clear how ruthless they are.


Stumbling back and looking down at the red ooze slowly trickling out of her skin, Nekou spat, “****, you got me! Well, actually, you only got my clothes… I guess Ghetsis didn’t prepare you for facing me?” Nekou lightly ran her hand over the bloody wound, then raised that same hand to her mouth and licked the liquid off. Immediately, her mind began to race. “Mmm… yeah, they didn’t tell you, so I will. You might have cut me, but the thing is… a wounded animal is the most vicious!”

When she jerked her head back up, Nekou’s eyes were filled with a bright yellow glow. She screamed loudly enough to cause her voice to crack and lunged at Chaos, assaulting him in such a bloodthirsty frenzy that he couldn’t keep up. Her switchblade first claimed his gloves, which fell to the ground in pieces, then began nicking small cuts into his exposed hands and arms.

“You’re mine now, you little ****! All I have to do is beat you before that happens now!”

This is incredibly badass, and I really love how she doesn't even seem to care she's bleeding. I'm wondering if her eyes lighting up means something... I can't wait to learn more about this.

Nekou having to fight to get herself to stop attacking Chaos really shows how she knows somehow that she can turn dangerous for whatever reason and that she's apparently prepared herself. That aspect of her is important I think- that she seems to be aware she could present a danger to herself or others and deals with it accordingly.

“It’s a house at night, James. Of course I haven’t seen anything.” Jessie sighed and slumped over.
Haha, Jessie.


“Wobbuffet! Wobba!!”

Wobbuffet frantically tugging on her arm meant that just perhaps, action had found them in the end.

“What do you want?” she sharply demanded of her Pokémon.

“Wobba!”

Following Wobbuffet’s wild gestures, Jessie looked back through her binoculars at the house. What she saw made her gasp.

WOBBUFFET

To a degree, it worked. Surrounded by Mercury, her men and her growling Electivire on one side and Chaos on the other, they constricted closer and closer to each other, searching for a way out.
I was able to picture this perfectly in my head.


Jessie and James each opened a single Poké Ball simultaneously. Jessie’s ball released a plump bat Pokémon with a heart-shaped nose and a midsection covered in white fur, while James’s gave rise to a golden coffin cloaked in a shadow that formed four long arms and hands. These two Pokémon, immediately becoming aware of the threat they faced, moved to shield their trainers with their bodies.

YES

SWOOBAT AND COFAGRIGUS

Wobbuffet using Destiny Bond was something I wasn't expecting. I really actually like seeing Jessie knowing how to take advantage of Wobbuffet's awesome power in the story because I think Wobbuffet was really wasted in the show a lot.

At the center of it all, Meowth felt like his mind was being torn apart. Horrifying images of death and despair flashed rapidly through his imagination, and he could feel his soul warping with every vision.

When the light faded and both opposing factions recovered their sight, they found Meowth standing at the epicenter of the event, eyes closed and holding the Meteonite in his arms.

“The Meteonite became unstable again…” James immediately observed.

“Wait, what’s wrong with Meowth?” wondered Jessie.

On the other side of the clearing, Mercury knew exactly what was going on. “Meowth, come over here. Be a good boy and give us the Meteonite piece back.”

“Yes, as you wish…” the feline Pokémon mumbled. He turned and shuffled to Mercury to hand over the Meteonite, and it was not until then that he finally opened his eyes.

Meowth’s eyes were filled with red.

“What have you done to him?” James angrily demanded, stomping his foot into the ground hard enough to leave a relatively deep footprint.

“Isn’t it obvious? The Meteonite can control the minds of Pokémon! You know that! Your Meowth just exposed himself directly to its power as it became unstable, so it has changed him. He is now one of us!”
Poor Meowth. :(

I really like how you're showing TR's love for Meowth, I think a lot of fans forget that Meowth is basically their best friend and one of the things that's kept them together so long and they're not the same without him.

Excellent, exciting chapter that raised questions I can't wait to see answered. Keep up the excellent work!
 

Bay

YEAHHHHHHH
Would have posted this earlier, but internet wasn't working the last couple days. >.>; Now that everything is running again, on to the review!

First part I want to say yay new version of Matt’s HR-E! XD

As much as I enjoy Olivia developing as a trainer, she does need to learn when to throw in the towel to prevent anything worse from happening. Lucky Nikolai stopped the battle just in time. Upon Nikolai’s appearance, I knew he must be N (I’m assuming he gave himself that name so that his real name isn’t known) due to his comments on Pokemon and humans must work together and his thoughts on battling. Like your take on him so far and it’s good he helped Matt out with Charlotte.

“Come on, I know you’re home!” he called, his voice clearly conveying the irritation he felt.

“The Pokémon want to come in here and eat all the food I’ve got!” someone shouted back from behind the door.

“Oy, not this again… there’s no Pokémon out here that want your food, at least anymore anyway. And if you’d stop feeding them, they’ll stop coming!”
Bwhahahaha, you showed this to me and Dawn a few days ago, so it’s great to see this bit again.

Am curious over Nekou’s Black Cat title. Fits her very well, though! I’m actually reminded of the manga Black Cat, which is about a bounty hunter who used to be an assassin. I can tell you more about the manga if you like. XD Other thoughts while reading the confrontation with the Shadow Triad scene are ouch over Nikolai being poisoned. D: And nice Dante has Haxrous. I like that for some reason. XD

The part with Team Rocket versus Mercury is nicely done. Love Jessie and James able to come up with some battling techniques there. Also woot for Ariana’s appearance! Hope Jessie and James get Meowth soon. :<

Overall some pretty awesome stuff happening this chapter. Looking forward to more!
 

Morpher01

Bewear my power
You know, I think that this is probably my favorite chapter thus far (though I anticipate that I may find a new favorite down the line).

Let's take a closer look:

Though he wanted to accept Olivia’s decision, second thoughts clouded Matt’s mind. He stood still, unable to rid himself of a lingering concern that something just couldn’t possibly be right about Olivia’s miraculous recovery. To force it out of his head, he finally turned back around to face what he had been looking at.

I believe the trope was called "Chekov's Gun"? Matt probably wouldn't be thinking so hard about Olivia's sudden recovery if there wasn't something unnatural surrounding it.

Renzo pulled a red-and-white sphere from the inner part of his tattered poncho and threw it at the Pokémon he’d just finished fighting. The Poké Ball cracked open upon hitting Cottonee’s body, allowing its inner technology to convert the Pokémon into energy before pulling her in. It then sealed up and fell to the ground, where before the eyes of Renzo and his Psychic-type, it rocked and shuddered.

“Come on...” the ragged trainer thought to himself. “I can’t afford any more Poké Balls…”

He didn’t need to worry, however, as almost immediately after he finished that thought, the Poké Ball became still and gave off a pinging sound, indicating a successful capture. Renzo’s attitude quickly changed; he excitedly ran over to where the Poké Ball lay on the ground and picked it up, while the more lethargic Drowzee simply ambled up alongside his trainer.

“Wow, great job!” called one of the children, a bright-eyed girl whose brown hair hung in a side-tied ponytail.

“Yes, thank you…” Renzo replied, before cracking the Poké Ball in his hand open once more. The Cottonee, her body visibly bruised in several places, materialized from its confines and almost immediately shrank back upon seeing Renzo and his Drowzee. “Now, now, you don’t have to be afraid, Cottonee. We’re not going to hurt you. Please, forgive us for doing what we had to.”

Lowering himself so he wound not appear as intimidating to the small Pokémon, Renzo extended a hand and waited as Cottonee nervously examined it. It took a bit of time, but Renzo’s newly-caught Pokémon did eventually decide that the situation was safe, at which point she hopped up into his hand and allowed him to hold her.

“There you go,” he said in an attempt to further comfort her, “nothing to be afraid of.”

I REALLY like this passage. It shows Renzo as being more of a three-dimensional character instead of a rival who does nothing but foam at the mouth and go "GRAH MUST BEAT HER RAAGH". I also like how he got some kids to idolize him, as well as how he told Olivia that he would be using Gurdurr to battle instead of Drowzee or Cottonee. He's clearly not a complete villain, but he's more of a grey area, and I like that.

Oshawott held up his shell in a feeble attempt to shield himself from the terrifying Fighting-type Pokémon bearing down on him, but it made no difference. The shell was no match for the force of Gurdurr’s fist, which shattered it into pieces before striking Oshawott directly in the stomach, sending him rolling back through the dirt. Oshawott was hit so hard that he dug a trail into the path as he skidded to a stop.

Something tells me that's going to be brought up later...

Also, Renzo's Gurdurr is a BEAST. It reminds me of my first Driftveil Tournament challenge, when my Krokorok completely slaughtered Colress' entire team. It was AWESOME. XD

“It was I.”

To the surprise of all the people gathered on the road, a tall, lithe young man jumped from the bushes to stand in the middle of the battle. His windbreaker jacket – designed with a checkerboard pattern over half-black, half-white coloring – fit loosely on his thin frame, while his long green hair flowed into a ponytail against his back from beneath his similarly-colored baseball cap.

Ah, now here's what I wanted (but will obviously never get) from Best Wishes: an adaptation of this guy, who happens to be one of the Pokemon franchise's most interesting characters. Maybe if we're lucky we'll get a Plasma arc post-Unova League, but knowing the anime all we'll probably be getting is more TR.

I was playing N's encounter music from BW while I read his dialogue. I have to say that his actions here match very well with the eerie, almost circus-like music theme he had in the original BW.

“Not that I owe you any answer,” Renzo replied with a scoff, “but I am going to traverse Dark Cave and the mountains of Route 45 beyond. My goal is Blackthorn City, where I will get a Dratini no matter what I must do.”

Hmm...have to wonder if we'll be seeing Renzo for a while, assuming he gets through Dark Cave successfully.

“Why Dratini?” Bunny questioned. “I get that it’s rare, but you seem like you have a deeper reason.”

“Dragonite was her favorite…”

Without saying anything further, Renzo wandered off with his Pokémon. heading north on the road. The others who remained had little time to ponder his bizarre behavior, as Nikolai next approached Olivia.

Gee, I wonder who he could be referring to...?

“Please explain something to me…” Matt’s attention was pulled back to its original location when Nikolai suddenly spoke up after having approached moments before. “Your Pokémon all seem at least relatively happy to be with you, as they’ve told me stories of some of your adventures… but why is your Eelektrik not responding in the same way?”

“I haven’t really used her at all yet, to be truthful. I was hoping to get in some training with her soon...”

Suddenly becoming angry, Nikolai moved in a single abrupt motion to get right in Matt’s face. “You must treat your Pokémon better! When I spoke to your Eelektrik, it told me that it feels forgotten. Simply capturing a Pokémon in one of those awful Poké Balls is not enough! You must spend time allowing that Pokémon to be free, as well!”

Why couldn't we have had this in the anime? Having Ash on the recieving end of this would have been a thousand times better than watching Jessie and James act out the James Bond movies!

On a more positive note, Nekou's responses to Mr. Pokemon's treatment of her were quite fun. Olivia's wondering at N's name was amusing, as well.

“You’re out of luck, Black Cat!” Chaos growled. “Bisharp! Lead Banette and Liepard while I take care of this one!”

A sharp grunt and a smile indicated that Bisharp gladly accepted the responsibility Chaos delegated to him. Banette and Liepard rallied to his side, and much like a trainer, he pointed his right arm forward at their enemies and spoke in his own language to give orders, which Banette and Liepard seemingly understood.

I can easily picture a Bisharp doing this, even if it isn't with a group of Pawniard.

“Hmph, like there’s anything an old man like you can do! Bisharp, Liepard, Banette, attack!”

Summoning what strength they had left, Chaos’s three Pokémon all lunged at Haxorus. Both she and Dante remained calm, however. Neither of them saw the opposing trio of Pokémon or their trainer as a threat in the least.

“Haxorus,” Dante coolly directed, even closing his eyes as he spoke, “Dual Chop.”

Just like when they’d arrived earlier, Haxorus swiftly charged forward and cut Liepard down using her right tusk, then slashed Banette with the left. Both Pokémon crumpled to the ground as a result of everything they’d taken.

“Bisharp, Iron Head!!”

“It is over. Haxorus, use Counter!”

An orange light outlined Haxorus’s body, and when Bisharp’s metallic headbutt struck her, she immediately punched him squarely in the face. Because Haxorus’s attack was twice as strong as the move she had been hit with, Bisharp was defeated just as his allies were.

“Is that it?” Dante taunted the dumbfounded Shadow Triad member. “You were not even a slight challenge for me. Be on your way if you don’t want this to get any worse for yourself.”

Dang...Chaos was giving Matt and co. so much trouble, and yet Dante just wipes the floor with him. Have to wonder what other secrets he's hiding...


The Rocket VS Polaris scene was actually pretty good. After a long time of seeing the trio as goofs, it was refreshing to see them acting comptetantly. Kudos to Jessie for the Destiny Bond trick, although Meowth being mind-controlled is something of a problem. Might be a while before that gets resolved...

Well, with "Nikolai" poisoned and with the team in disarray, the action is definitely starting to pick up. Can't wait to see what happens next!
 

The Great Butler

Hush, keep it down
This was an exciting chapter. It was shorter than some of your others, but you really worked a lot of great stuff into it.

I was concerned that this chapter would end up excessively long, with how much I had to put into it.


This is really really cute. I love the idea of two friends just chilling with beer and talking about stuff.

It was probably a lot less intimate than you're making it sound, but on the other hand, they certainly weren't hostile towards each other.


This really gives an idea of how much of a group of misfits they are.

As if there was any question. XD

Excellent, gorgeous imagery.

Thank you!

Polaris sure isn't subtle, are they?

If you think this is non-subtle, you haven't seen anything from them yet.


Yeah, things are about to get serious.

General Renzo thoughts: I really love how you've characterized him, especially his speech patterns, and his admirers are really cute too. He's a jerk but he's sort of adorable in his own way.

Yeah, I think you're going to have some... complex feelings about him by the end.

aww, Olivia. I love how badass she is, and confident.

Yeah, if there's one thing she's not putting up with right now, it's Renzo's nonsense.

Love Bunny sticking up for Olivia.

Good. I wanted to add Bunny in a bit too.

The battle between Renzo and Olivia flows excellently, I think. The way you show how brutal a battler Gurdurr is and how loyal Olivia's Pokemon are really makes a good contrast between the two rivals- Renzo is merciless, but Olivia's Pokemon are more than willing to fight through for her even if it's futile. Watching Olivia slowly lose confidence was heartbreaking, though.

That contrast is definite, but I think there are some parallels between them, too.

I think this is a really important scene for Nekou because it shows even though she's supportive and a sis of sorts to Olivia, she also knows when to tell Olivia hard things and protect her.

Nekou was always more complex than she initially appears on the surface. You'll see a lot more of this going forward.

Never change, Nekou.

Don't worry, she won't. XD;

I WONDER WHO THIS COULD BE.

I love the little detail on his jacket, nice shoutout there.

The jacket actually went through a couple of revisions along with other parts of his design. Originally, he was going to simply get a black trench coat and hat, then the jacket was half-black/half-white while the hat stayed the same. After that, the checkered pattern was added to the jacket, and he otherwise maintained his original design, which is what you see here.

I adore how you've characterized him so far. It matches his character perfectly, and it really makes him stand out. His speech style is also something I think you got right, I really adore it.

Thanks!

It was hard to get his portrayal right. His character in the games has a lot of circumstance behind it, so to get a handle on just how he should act isn't easy.

aww, Sheena. The pocketwatch detail is really sweet. I love how Nikolai also has that ability, it makes perfect sense with the talking to Pokemon thing.

This actually isn't the pocketwatch's first appearance - it was in The Firestorm Rebellion too. Matt talked about it with Nekou and Agenta in the deepest part of the temple.

It made perfect sense to me for Nikolai to have the same power as Sheena, or at least a close variant of it. That power is something that'll come up again, too.

This is also really cute. You really got his childlike nature perfect, but in a way that's not insulting or degrading to him. It's more on the "innocent and curious" side than the "stupid" side.

His childlike nature was never born from stupidity in the first place. He is profoundly smart, but he is naive - he has plenty of literal knowledge but no practical skills or experiences to apply it, so he still acts childlike.

This scene really hits on something a lot of stories don't cover, mainly the differences in class that must be lurking under the surface in the Pokemon universe, the implications of prize money in battles, and the power of the media.

Well then prepare yourself, because we're just getting started on this.

I love the idea of pre-recorded backup plan videos.

It was foreshadowed a few chapters ago, although, back then I had planned for Ariana to appear in the video as well in some regard.

Also, since the new R-Pad is based on a Wii U controller, I've devised some new ideas for ways the plans can be communicated the next time such a need arises.

Roggenrola are really, really weird. The image is hilariously awkward.



DEAD.

This is exactly why I decided to use Roggenrola for that scene instead of Boldore - because of how ridiculously awkward Roggenrola is.

haha Nekou.

Yeah, that's her alright.


I LOVE MR. POKEMON. I love how he's a conspiracy nut and some kind of Alex Jones fanboy type who's also a woman-hater on top of all that, and I love how Nekou has absolutely zero ****s to be given when he calls her a wench.

And this is why I enjoy using obscure game characters like Mr. Pokemon and the Guide Gent; I get to expand on their characters, which is something that doesn't happen regularly. In the case of Mr. Pokemon, since he is a character who is built up to be very important but only plays a tiny role based around his collecting things, I eventually decided to incorporate elements of the Doom Paul meme into his character. Meanwhile, the crack at Nekou he makes is a gag reference to Kenji from Katawa Shoujo.


She probably will remember it, too.

>Black Cat
I see what you did there.

Do you now?

most badass one-liner ever.

It wasn't really said to be badass, though. She said it coldly, not screaming like usual.

The battle against the Shadow Triad was nicely brutal, I think you made it very clear how ruthless they are.

Well, here it was just Chaos, not the entire Shadow Triad. But your impression is true nevertheless - they've shed their identities to become ninja spies working for Ghetsis and are fully aware of what kind of person he is. 'Ruthless' is something that went out the window a long time ago.

This is incredibly badass, and I really love how she doesn't even seem to care she's bleeding. I'm wondering if her eyes lighting up means something... I can't wait to learn more about this.

It's not that she doesn't care that she's bleeding, it's that in a fight, a cut like that that draws a little blood is something she likes. It causes her to loosen up while focusing her mind, and it gives her a rush too.

Yeah, if you haven't figured it out yet, she's crazy.

Nekou having to fight to get herself to stop attacking Chaos really shows how she knows somehow that she can turn dangerous for whatever reason and that she's apparently prepared herself. That aspect of her is important I think- that she seems to be aware she could present a danger to herself or others and deals with it accordingly.

I'm not going to say anything here out of risk of spoiling something.

Haha, Jessie.

To me, that seemed like a thing Jessie would say.

WOBBUFFET

And that seemed like something Wobbuffet would do.

I was able to picture this perfectly in my head.

Good. It was a visual scene.

YES

SWOOBAT AND COFAGRIGUS

They finally get some love!

Wobbuffet using Destiny Bond was something I wasn't expecting. I really actually like seeing Jessie knowing how to take advantage of Wobbuffet's awesome power in the story because I think Wobbuffet was really wasted in the show a lot.

He was wasted, that's for sure. That's part of why I brought him back, but his having a role to play in this fight just kind of happened as I was writing it, to be honest.

Poor Meowth. :(

I really like how you're showing TR's love for Meowth, I think a lot of fans forget that Meowth is basically their best friend and one of the things that's kept them together so long and they're not the same without him.

Definitely. They survived for a long time with nothing to rely on but each other, so I see them having each others' backs above all else.

Meowth's forced betrayal isn't only going to be a plot device to motivate Jessie and James, though. It does have a purpose.

Excellent, exciting chapter that raised questions I can't wait to see answered. Keep up the excellent work!

Thank you! I'm happy you enjoyed it!

Would have posted this earlier, but internet wasn't working the last couple days. >.>; Now that everything is running again, on to the review!

Glad you worked everything out!

First part I want to say yay new version of Matt’s HR-E! XD

This was actually meant to be foreshadowed back in XD^3's final battle. The original HR-E was blown up by one of Arceus's Judgment attacks, and I had it envisioned but simply never put it into the actual story. Though it took place off-screen, it did still happen, however.

As much as I enjoy Olivia developing as a trainer, she does need to learn when to throw in the towel to prevent anything worse from happening. Lucky Nikolai stopped the battle just in time.

That's definitely a lesson she's going to have to learn.

Upon Nikolai’s appearance, I knew he must be N (I’m assuming he gave himself that name so that his real name isn’t known) due to his comments on Pokemon and humans must work together and his thoughts on battling. Like your take on him so far and it’s good he helped Matt out with Charlotte.

Right, the fact that he is N is not the surprise here. The mystery is why he does not remember Ghetsis, the Shadow Triad, Team Plasma or seemingly anything else.

Bwhahahaha, you showed this to me and Dawn a few days ago, so it’s great to see this bit again.

There was some great comic potential with the two of them. XD;

Am curious over Nekou’s Black Cat title. Fits her very well, though! I’m actually reminded of the manga Black Cat, which is about a bounty hunter who used to be an assassin. I can tell you more about the manga if you like. XD

That's what that manga is about? I've seen it many times but I've never actually investigated it. If you'd like you could tell me more.

Nekou's nickname is something that does have plot importance, which you'll see sometime later. It is important.

Other thoughts while reading the confrontation with the Shadow Triad scene are ouch over Nikolai being poisoned. D: And nice Dante has Haxrous. I like that for some reason. XD

Dante's Haxorus actually debuted in the chapter in which he debuted himself, in fact. She was walking with him when he found Olivia injured.

The part with Team Rocket versus Mercury is nicely done. Love Jessie and James able to come up with some battling techniques there. Also woot for Ariana’s appearance! Hope Jessie and James get Meowth soon. :<

It's going to be quite a ride with them... I bet you've guessed already that it's hit the fan when it comes to Team Rocket now.

Overall some pretty awesome stuff happening this chapter. Looking forward to more!

Thank you, and let me say, I don't think you'll be disappointed.

You know, I think that this is probably my favorite chapter thus far (though I anticipate that I may find a new favorite down the line).

Really? I'm kind of surprised, pleasantly so. I was worried about this chapter and I didn't have a lot of faith in it going in, owing to it being sandwiched between major arcs and having to deal with a lot of different content at once.

Let's take a closer look:



I believe the trope was called "Chekov's Gun"? Matt probably wouldn't be thinking so hard about Olivia's sudden recovery if there wasn't something unnatural surrounding it.

If I point out that it's a Chekhov's Gun, then it doesn't really qualify as one anymore, but...

Think of it this way: this is the second time something like this has happened.

I REALLY like this passage. It shows Renzo as being more of a three-dimensional character instead of a rival who does nothing but foam at the mouth and go "GRAH MUST BEAT HER RAAGH". I also like how he got some kids to idolize him, as well as how he told Olivia that he would be using Gurdurr to battle instead of Drowzee or Cottonee. He's clearly not a complete villain, but he's more of a grey area, and I like that.

This is exactly what I want to do with him. He's not a bad person, in fact, he might very well be decent. There's just something with Olivia that gets him really, really upset and sends him off the deep end.

He cares for his Pokemon, too, even if he's harsh on them and works them hard. That's born of his circumstances, though - at this point, you should be able to piece together a good explanation for why he must be so self-reliant and keep his Pokemon strong without overworking them.

Something tells me that's going to be brought up later...

It kind of has to.

Also, Renzo's Gurdurr is a BEAST. It reminds me of my first Driftveil Tournament challenge, when my Krokorok completely slaughtered Colress' entire team. It was AWESOME. XD

Just imagine the terror when it evolves into Conkeldurr. I don't even have to worry about spoilers when I say that this is not the last time that thing is going to be a threat.

Ah, now here's what I wanted (but will obviously never get) from Best Wishes: an adaptation of this guy, who happens to be one of the Pokemon franchise's most interesting characters. Maybe if we're lucky we'll get a Plasma arc post-Unova League, but knowing the anime all we'll probably be getting is more TR.

I was playing N's encounter music from BW while I read his dialogue. I have to say that his actions here match very well with the eerie, almost circus-like music theme he had in the original BW.

I personally think an adaptation of B2W2 Team Plasma is coming to fill in the rest of the space in Unova, but that's neither here nor there. It'll at least give us Insane Ghetsis.

You know, I should have tried that. Now that you mention it, his theme song does match up with this all pretty well. I guess that means I did him right?

Hmm...have to wonder if we'll be seeing Renzo for a while, assuming he gets through Dark Cave successfully.

His current subplot is only just getting started. Olivia may not see him for a while, but that doesn't mean that you won't see him.

Gee, I wonder who he could be referring to...?

Not saying anything.

Why couldn't we have had this in the anime? Having Ash on the recieving end of this would have been a thousand times better than watching Jessie and James act out the James Bond movies!

I prefer Bond Rockets, if only for the simple fact that I trust myself to handle N more than I trust the anime's writers to handle him.

But anyway, you've got it now with this cast of characters instead, so I hope it's a fair substitute. I'm also able to take him in directions no canon material ever could, as you've already seen.

On a more positive note, Nekou's responses to Mr. Pokemon's treatment of her were quite fun. Olivia's wondering at N's name was amusing, as well.

When you have Olivia and Nekou snarking things, I don't see how you can go wrong.

Seems like Mr. Pokemon was quite a popular character despite his minor role. Maybe I'll use him again.

I can easily picture a Bisharp doing this, even if it isn't with a group of Pawniard.

I... didn't even do this deliberately, believe it or not. I only had it assume the leadership role because Bisharp is the signature Pokemon of the collective Shadow Triad (by the last time they're fought, there is a total of six Bisharp between them, two for each one.) I never even realized that I was essentially showing a Bisharp adapted from the leadership role seen earlier with the Pawniard into a role leading other Pokemon.

Dang...Chaos was giving Matt and co. so much trouble, and yet Dante just wipes the floor with him. Have to wonder what other secrets he's hiding...

Well, he did also catch Chaos completely off-guard, just as Chaos had himself caught Matt's group earlier. Dante had a chance to see exactly how he wanted his attack to play out before he made his move.

Also, if Haxorus didn't have Counter, he would have been stopped cold by Bisharp.

The Rocket VS Polaris scene was actually pretty good. After a long time of seeing the trio as goofs, it was refreshing to see them acting comptetantly. Kudos to Jessie for the Destiny Bond trick, although Meowth being mind-controlled is something of a problem. Might be a while before that gets resolved...

It was refreshing to write them as humorous but competent, too. I really feel like my concept of how they should be depicted came into its own in this chapter.

As for the fight itself, once again, one side really had no chance because they were not prepared for the confrontation. If Chaos hadn't forced their hand, they probably never would have gotten involved with Mercury in the first place. Once they were put against Mercury they were in a hopeless situation, because as you saw, she was carrying reserves to back up Electivire.

Meowth, on the other hand, pretty much had his mind turned inside out by the Meteonite's power through no direct fault of anyone. Of course, that's not going to stop Mercury from taking advantage of his reversed mentality to get him to change sides. And yeah, this isn't going to be resolved immediately.

Well, with "Nikolai" poisoned and with the team in disarray, the action is definitely starting to pick up. Can't wait to see what happens next!

Yeah, things are going to really pick up from here. You should be in for quite the ride.
 

Scaldaver

Limitless
Well, you asked for me to review and to review I shall. However, it must only be brief as my studying is really hot on my tails.

So far I've finished chapter three, and, just by the stories told by Matt, it's clear there's a much more in-depth world to which I have just seen. Encounters with a golden city, Heatran, Dialga, a split personality named Janus, presumably after the Greek God of choice with two heads. Oh, and the main character is Cybernetic. Looks like you've got the whole shebang here!

My favourite bit of this chapter is the emotionally and action-charged bit with the Pawniard - they make the Beedrill that plagued ash throughout Kanto look tame! Seriously, surely there should be some for of global pest-control about these guys. Sheesh.

The moment with Olivia falling off the cliff is absolutely masterful - you manage to completely sop the pace and literally slow everything down. It was a joy to read.

Just a quick question from a chemistry nerd - this new Element - Meteonite. It seems to play a large part of the story, so what I want to know is this: any more elements in the periodic table would have extremely short half-lives, so how does it stay working. Of course, the radiation given off a new element such as this would be phenomenal - a great source of energy indeed! Are you going to implement some sort of quality to the element to make it seem more likely to stay around forever (Poke/Magic stuff or whatever)? Of course I'm probably looking waaaay too much into this and you are free to ignore me ^^

Oh, and just something I noted from chapter 2:

“Stalking that boy you’re infatuated with on the Internet does not count as ‘busy,’ Séduire,”

'busy', - the comma and apostrophe are the wrong way round.

I must say, I also enjoy your battles - they seems very in-depth and thoughtful. The ways moves are used are described brilliantly and are very creative.
 

The Great Butler

Hush, keep it down
Well, you asked for me to review and to review I shall. However, it must only be brief as my studying is really hot on my tails.

That's okay. I'm glad you shared even a bit of time with me.

So far I've finished chapter three, and, just by the stories told by Matt, it's clear there's a much more in-depth world to which I have just seen. Encounters with a golden city, Heatran, Dialga, a split personality named Janus, presumably after the Greek God of choice with two heads. Oh, and the main character is Cybernetic. Looks like you've got the whole shebang here!

Yes, there certainly is quite a bit of backstory, isn't there? I hope I conveyed it all effectively.

I want to create a world on a bigger scale than just the basic adventure the four main characters are going on, in which events are bigger than them. I think you'll see this take shape going forward.

My favourite bit of this chapter is the emotionally and action-charged bit with the Pawniard - they make the Beedrill that plagued ash throughout Kanto look tame! Seriously, surely there should be some for of global pest-control about these guys. Sheesh.

What you raise gives me an interesting thought: what would happen if the Beedrill, who are indigenous to Johto and Kanto, fought the Pawniard that were migrated from Unova, who would win? I might actually decide to do something with this...

There's a little more to the Pawniard and their Bisharp leader than what you see now.

The moment with Olivia falling off the cliff is absolutely masterful - you manage to completely sop the pace and literally slow everything down. It was a joy to read.

That was something vital for that scene - in order for the full impact of the events to hit the reader, you have to put them in the shoes of someone in the scene, and I would imagine that for Matt, time would feel like it stopped as he watched her go over the cliff. Doing that also helped me play into the next event, where he snaps and goes all out to defeat Bisharp immediately, because the whiplash between a fast-paced confrontation, a slow event and back to fast-paced helps make it exciting.

Just a quick question from a chemistry nerd - this new Element - Meteonite. It seems to play a large part of the story, so what I want to know is this: any more elements in the periodic table would have extremely short half-lives, so how does it stay working. Of course, the radiation given off a new element such as this would be phenomenal - a great source of energy indeed! Are you going to implement some sort of quality to the element to make it seem more likely to stay around forever (Poke/Magic stuff or whatever)? Of course I'm probably looking waaaay too much into this and you are free to ignore me ^^

I wouldn't think of ignoring anyone, especially someone who takes enough care to give thoughts like this. ^^

Honestly, many of those details are mostly just going to be handwaved as "lol, Pokemon world physics." Although, if you wish to have some explanation, I suppose I can offer the detail that Meteonite reacts to itself; essentially, having some of it can "activate" larger dormant amounts once the two become in proximity to each other, almost like recharging a battery. However. it's unstable and needs to be handled carefully, which is something you'll see in a more recent chapter.

Oh, and just something I noted from chapter 2:



'busy', - the comma and apostrophe are the wrong way round.

Noted.

I must say, I also enjoy your battles - they seems very in-depth and thoughtful. The ways moves are used are described brilliantly and are very creative.

Thank you for this. My aim here is to take the mechanics the games are capable of and display them in a "visual" style like the anime.

Thank you for your kind review, and I certainly do hope to see you again soon!
 

The Great Butler

Hush, keep it down
Okay, good news, bad news time.

The good news is that the chapter is nearing completion and will likely be done within this week.

The bad news is something that is beyond my control.

I plan out my chapters before I begin writing them now, therefore, the plan for this has been on paper for some time. Yesterday's horrific school shooting in Newtown, Connecticut has rendered me unable to release the chapter with a clear conscience right away. This is because the chapter was planned from the start to feature a vital scene at Earl's Pokemon Academy that involves the students being threatened; because of the terrible real-life circumstances going on right now, I cannot feel that it is appropriate to release this chapter at this time.

Currently, my plan is to hold the chapter back and release it as a double-bill with the chapter after it. This will give me a few weeks to a month of buffer space, at which point I feel it will be acceptable to put the chapter out.

In order to tide everyone over until then, I'm going to go ahead and post a brief summary and character list for the chapter under a spoiler. Please feel free to speculate in any way you wish using this information; in fact, I encourage it. This is under a spoiler because there is, in fact, previously never-before-known information and characters in it.

"Flying Toward an Unseeable Future"

Summary: While Nikolai recovers from the effects of the genetic suppressant used on him by Chaos, Matt, Nekou, Olivia and Bunny meet up again with Dominic. They may think that things will be peaceful as they visit Dominic's children - Avril, Helena and Monroe - at Earl's Pokemon Academy, but with Nikolai still in his sights, Ghetsis's plans are closing in...


Character List*:
*Presence on this list does not necessarily mean screen presence

-Matt Chiaki
-Nekou Langley
-Olivia Mistbloom
-Bunny Spruce
-Nikolai
-Dr. Zager
-Pierce
-Jessie
-James
-Meowth
-Ariana
-Ghetsis Harmonia
-Chaos
-Concordia
-Anthea
-Zinzolin
-Finansielle
-Mercury
-Séduire
-Dr. Colress Antimony
-Dominic
-Avril
-Helena
-Monroe
-Earl Dervish
-Amanda Chiaki
-Nurse
-Anchorman
-Reporter
-Ruins of Alph Researcher
-Protesters
-Students
-Dr. Sutter Chiaki
-Jacob Alexison
-Tenganist people
-Saeko Oryo
 

The Great Butler

Hush, keep it down
Well, here it is. This is the chapter that had to be delayed because of the Connecticut school shooting. As I’ve alluded to, this chapter contains a scene of conflict at a school with students in danger, which may in these difficult times be triggering to some people. I've decided after talking to some of my readers that enough time has passed, so I'm releasing it now. Please try to enjoy the chapter despite the terrible circumstances marring it.

Jacob Alexison appears from Nothing, Everything by Bay, with the original author’s permission.

-:-

CHAPTER 7: Flying to an Unseeable Future

-:-

The low hum of his many machines provided a constant source of quiet sound in Dr. Zager’s laboratory. Having used many such devices for decades, he found that he had grown to be comforted by their soft noises. His mind was soothed by the unceasing din.

While Galvantula sat nearby gorging herself on a plate of berries Zager had given her, the doctor himself sat at his computer console, casually clicking through a message board website sporting blue message bubbles against a black background. The red script at the site’s top identified it as ‘RChannel.’

“How dull,” Zager said to himself as he absentmindedly scanned past multiple post threads. Many threads on RChannel talked about Pokémon training and collecting, but there were a vast number that focused on other things, ranging from discussion of television programs to bizarre posts such as a recently popular urban legend about an Aerodactyl in a graveyard.

However, the RChannel website had another purpose. While available to the general public as a message board, the site was actually created and run by Team Rocket; its creator had used the ridiculous but somehow correct logic that an uncontrolled forum would be the perfect cover for exchanging information and intelligence between members via the Internet. That was what Zager was scanning the site for – intelligence – and soon, he finally found it.

The thread’s first post, instead of being in a blue bubble, was contained within a red one; this was due to it being posted by “Admin,” the creator of RChannel.

“There is something I do not understand,” the post read. “Ghetsis Harmonia is a member of Polaris. That is something that anyone who watches television knows. But, he is not the only one from Team Plasma to be connected to Polaris. I saw a member of the Shadow Triad on Route 30 today. Not only that, King N of Team Plasma was there too. So what is going on? What is the true connection between Team Plasma and Polaris?”

“Holy ****, it’s Admin!” the next post, by ‘Slowpoke Tail,’ said. “And she’s got another crazy conspiracy theory!”

“Posting in epic mod thread,” added an anonymous poster.

“Hey Admin, Asuka or Rei?”

The fourth reply was by the username ‘Sam’ – Pierce’s alias – and was the first to take the topic seriously. “That is an excellent question, Admin. I do not know all of the details of Team Plasma’s relationship with Polaris, but I’ve determined that Ghetsis was likely always working on behalf of Polaris. If he was ever loyal is another question entirely. I’ll do more studying and get back to you.”

“That’s a good idea,” Zager spoke out loud to the screen, as if he were speaking directly to Pierce. “To defeat an enemy, you must first understand them.”

-:-

A somber tone hung over the group’s rented room at Violet City’s Pokémon Center. Bunny and Olivia sat and listlessly stared at the television in the room, which was playing a news report on several recent Pokémon Contests, while Nekou sat on her bed and quietly worked on her laptop with the headphones for her music player planted firmly in her ears.

The heavy, aged wooden door of the room produced a loud creak as Matt slowly entered. Almost immediately, Bunny began asking him questions.

“Well?” She wanted to address the subject that was weighing on all of their minds right away. “How is he?”

Feeling utterly exhausted, Matt took his hat off and threw it onto one of the beds, then ran his hand through his hair. “He’ll live, but he got messed up pretty bad. The dart that that ninja hit him with was tipped with a poison that caused his body to go into shock.”

“That guy was scary,” Olivia mumbled into the pillow she was embracing, which muffled her voice. “We’re going to be dealing with a lot like him, aren’t we?”

“We’ll beat them, I’m sure,” Matt immediately answered, though he was forced to quietly add, “but you’re right, there probably will be…”

“In other news, we will now go to a new address delivered by the spokesman for the Polaris organization.”

The pending speech seemed to be timed perfectly to match up with what Matt said, and as they focused on the television, their nerves each tightened to the breaking point. By the time Ghetsis appeared on the screen, Nekou had even taken out her headphones and folded the screen of her laptop down, turning it into a tablet computer.

“People of the Tohjo Continent, I bid you good evening. Tonight I am here to speak to you about traditions. What exactly is tradition, would you say? It is called a tradition for children to be sent out into the world and compete against each other for supremacy. With how long that tradition has stood, should we accept it?” Despite delivering the first part of his address calmly, Ghetsis was soon overcome by his characteristic intensity. “No! We should not accept such a thing! We are a species capable of building a civilized society! Or, at least I thought we were. That we call the practice of sending young people into a lifestyle offering most of them no future just so we can watch their suffering a ‘tradition’ speaks to how far we have to go to truly reach civilization. That is why I call upon you all, people of this nation! Polaris shall perform a miracle to prove the validity of our drive toward true civilization! Please, support us in our endeavor! With your help, a hopeful future is ensured! Thank you for your time tonight.”

“Do you think he even knows how much of a madman he sounds like?” Bunny wondered of Ghetsis.

“That’s not even a question. Ghetsis is a man who is fully aware of his own actions, and he delights in what he does to others.”

Nekou’s words didn’t soothe Olivia, who was further shaken after listening to the thundering speech. “What if he has a point, though?” she grumbled into her pillow. “Look what happened to Nikolai, and all he did was help us. Not only him, either. What about Renzo? There really might be something to what he says... I’m scared…”

“Olivia, you can’t think like that.” Matt tried to put on a strong face, masking his own unsettled emotions over the recent events. “Look, tomorrow you’re going for your first Badge, right? Focus on that. You finally made it to your first Gym.”

“Matt’s saying something smart this time,” Nekou added, putting some sarcasm in her words to lighten things up a bit. “I can tell you that Ghetsis is not a man worth listening to. I disgust myself even using the word ‘man’ to refer to a piece of **** like him.”

Olivia sighed and rolled over onto her side. “Maybe I’m just tired, then. Thanks for talking to me, but I want to go to bed.”

-:-

By the next day, things had brightened considerably for the group. A good night’s sleep turned out to do wonders for easing their minds after the previous day’s confrontations. They felt especially better when, once they’d all awoken, Matt went to check on Nikolai only to learn that he was rapidly recovering.

“That sure is a relief to know,” Matt said to his companions as they made their way into the lobby of the Pokémon Center. “After how bad a shape he was in last night, to see that he’s recovering quickly is great news.”

“I wonder what that toxin actually was…” Because she was mumbling to herself, Nekou’s musing went unheard.

“So what are we waiting for? Next stop, Violet Gym! It’s time for that first Badge!”

However, Olivia’s loud declaration attracted the attention of the Pokémon Center nurse, who had been standing nearby at her desk. She stepped over to the group and interrupted, “I’m sorry, but I overheard that you want to go to Violet Gym?”

“Yeah, why?” Olivia questioned.

“With our luck, she’s about to say it’s…”

“Sorry, but the Gym is closed right now. Nobody can get to it.”

“…I ****ing knew it,” Nekou finished her thought.

With Olivia unable to speak further due to a mix of surprise and extreme disappointment, Matt instead asked the question on their minds. “But why? Has something happened?”

“Come with me, I’ll show you.”

The nurse stepped out from behind her desk and beckoned the four to follow her, which they did. Together, they went across the lobby, stopping at the lounge area. Once again, many people were gathered around the television there, which Matt quietly noted to himself was becoming a regular occurrence.

On the screen, someone was being interviewed. Both the person taking the interview and the reporter conducting it were standing in front of a large, gray building on a stone road. Around them, a large group of people were gathered, some holding signs.

“So what prompted you to come out today and join the group picketing your hometown Gym?” the reporter asked. Once he was done speaking, he held his microphone up to his female subject.

“Well, the speeches by Polaris have really opened my eyes. I never really considered before just how many people have it bad, even though we all work hard for everything we have. There are those who have it too easy if you ask me, getting Pokémon and medical care for free while others pay for it. I want Falkner to come out here and tell us how he can participate in this. That’s why I’m here.”

Immediately upon the young woman finishing speaking, the screen shifted back to the news anchor at his desk. “We do not yet have a statement from Violet City Gym Leader Falkner addressing the protests currently taking place outside of his Gym. However, for safety purposes, the Gym has been closed until the tension dissipates.”

“Well that just sucks.”

“Now, Olivia, look at the silver lining,” Bunny encouraged her, “at least this gives you more time to prepare for the battle.”

“Eh… I suppose that’s true.”

“Mister Chiaki? Mister Chiaki, you came to Violet City after all!”

Having just entered the Pokémon Center, Dominic had spotted Matt and his group almost immediately, and now rushed over to meet them with his suitcase still in his hand.

“Oh?” Matt failed to register immediately who he was being approached by, but seeing Dominic’s rumpled suit and tie again quickly rang the bell in his mind. “That’s right, Dominic was it? Sorry I sort of forgot...”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you actually came to Violet City like we arranged!”

Dominic’s overflowing gratitude was a little off-putting to Matt, and even though he didn’t know it, Nekou and Olivia were a little nervous themselves. Bunny was the only one who saw him right away as the overly eager but kindhearted man he truly was.

“You do remember, right? I asked you to meet my kids at Earl’s Pokémon Academy?”

As soon as the memories of his speaking to Dominic in Cherrygrove City resurfaced in full, Matt brought his hand to his forehead in disbelief. He couldn’t understand how he’d forgotten such a simple thing.

“That’s right, I do remember now. Olivia, if I might say… with the Gym closed, going to the Academy might be a productive way to spend the day.”

“It’s better than nothing,” replied the girl, her facial features becoming hardened with determination. “Let’s do it!”

“And don’t forget me,” Nekou chimed in, tossing herself over Matt’s shoulders, much to his visible discomfort. “Remember what I get there. Books. One of my six basic food groups.”

“And what are the other five?”

“Bacon, hamburgers, potato chips, chocolate and beer.”

Matt sighed, quickly realizing that asking Nekou such a question was probably a mistake.

“I’m glad that you’re all on board, then,” Dominic said with a smile. “I think you’ll all enjoy visiting there.”

-:-

“Now this is truly a surprise!” Stepping away from one of the glass-surfaced tables in the laboratory, the mustachioed scientist spread his arms as he welcomed his guests. “To think Father sent us not one but two of the Sacred Helix’s Chromosomes. Today must be an especially important day!”

“Father still hasn’t come back, actually,” Mercury corrected him. “Right now Finansielle is giving directions, and Archer is holding down Father’s seat on the Sacred Helix.”

“I see. Well then, let’s have a look at that stone you brought.”

Standing next to Mercury, Séduire – the Entei-masked Chromosome who wore a school-themed uniform with a skirt and bow tie – wordlessly presented the scientist with the briefcase passed on from Mr. Pokémon. He eagerly accepted it and took it over to one of the tables, where he opened it.

“Be careful with handling the Meteonite,” Mercury warned. “If it destabilizes, you might end up like this.” As she finished speaking, she gestured down to Meowth, who was listlessly standing next to her.

The scientist took a magnifying lens out of the pocket of his brown suit and leaned in to look at the Meteonite. “This is the real deal, alright. It’s beautiful!” Sitting back up, he questioned, “So what’s the next step?”

“That small Meteonite is going to lead us to the large one that crashed here several weeks ago. For that, we’re going to need your maps of the Ruins so we can navigate to the point it shows us.”

“Yeah, that’s going to be a problem,” the scientist responded, frowning. “Something strange has gone on since the Meteonite landed here. It agitated all the Unown, and they used their reality-warping powers to change the structure of the Ruins of Alph. All the maps we had are obsolete now.”

“I guess we’ll be going in blindly, then. Thankfully Meteonite will react to itself, so we can use the small amount we have to track down the payload. We’ve got just the equipment for the job, too.”

“What’s my assignment in all of this?” Séduire piped up for the first time. “Should I stop Matt from bothering you, Mercury?”

“No, I need you and your henchmen with my team. The Ruins of Alph are a lot more vast than one would expect, and they hold untold dangers, especially now that the Unown rearranged everything. You’ll get a chance to see him soon enough.”

“Promise me that. Mercury, promise me I’ll see Matt again soon… I have to save him…”

“Focus on the task at hand, Séduire. Remember that one day we’ll all be saved.”

-:-

Dominic led the way, guiding Matt, Nekou, Olivia and Bunny into the lobby of Earl’s Pokémon Academy. The lobby was cluttered with cases containing medals and photographs belonging to graduates of the school, many of whom had gone on to high-profile careers as trainers.

“This is the premiere facility for Pokémon training education in the Tohjo Continent,” the salesman explained. He gestured to the wall, guiding the others’ eyes to the awards lining it. “You can’t beat this place as a school.”

“I’d beg to differ,” Matt contradicted him. “I spent some time working at the Rustboro School with a very generous research grant.”

“I wasn’t meaning to offend you at all, please forgive me.”

“Is that good old Dominic I hear?” The voice echoing down the hall was loud and rich, giving itself such strength that it shook the walls. A large man in a blue suit came bounding out into the lobby with heavy steps; his boisterous demeanor surprised all of Dominic’s guests. “Welcome back, my dear Dominic! I see you’ve brought guests, just as you said earlier!”

“Well, um… yes, Mr. Dervish, sir. Please…” Dominic turned to the others as he continued, “…allow me to introduce you. This is Matt Chiaki, and…”

“Oh!!” The rotund man charged right past Dominic, effectively silencing him, and got right in Matt’s face. Matt started sweating and his nerves only frayed further when he realized that his hands were being grasped. “Sutter’s grandson! Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Earl Dervish, and I’m in charge of this Pokémon academy. It is truly an honor to have the grandson of the world’s most legendary archeologist in my school!”

“It would be nice to get credit for some of the things I’ve done myself once in a while,” Matt nervously chuckled in an awkward attempt to inject humor into the situation.

“But of course.” Turning his attention to Olivia, Nekou and Bunny, who were all standing by in varying degrees of shock and bemusement, Earl asked, “And who might these three be?”

“This is Olivia. She’s my friend’s daughter, and I’m mentoring her. That’s Bunny, my old colleague, and this is my… well, somehow she ended up being my bodyguard, and her name is Nekou.”

“Talk about a spectacle,” Nekou mumbled under her breath.

“Well met, Olivia, Bunny, Nekou. Now, please, all of you, come with me! Dominic, your kids are already waiting for us in my office. They ought to be glad to see your friends. And Matt, fate’s brought you quite a surprise today, too!”

“What are you talking about?”

“You will see, my friend! Onward!”

-:-

Concordia and Anthea screamed as Chaos’s limp body crashed into the forcefield wall of their prison. They’d been snapped out of their usual blank states by the fury Ghetsis had worked himself into.

“You had him right in front of you and YOU LET HIM GO?!” Ghetsis picked Chaos up by the neck again, much like how he had done before throwing him, and slammed him into the barrier a second time. “That warped boy is key to my rise!”

“P-please forgive me, L-Lord Ghetsis…” It was a struggle for Chaos to speak with Ghetsis’s hand around his neck. “I was… ambushed. It would have taken all three of us…”

“I’ll have none of it!”

Whipping around, Ghetsis flung Chaos across the floor, leaving him in a crumpled heap. He then lurched over to the ninja and pinned the white-haired man’s head under the end of his cane.

“Matt Chiaki and his friends… that woman is not natural… I almost had to use the genetic suppressant on her to get her off me…”

“Finally, you say something actually useful,” fumed Ghetsis as he removed his cane from Chaos’s cheek. Moving toward the door, he said out loud without looking over his shoulder, “I’ll have Matt Chiaki dealt with before he ever becomes a problem to me.” He then turned the very top of his cane’s handle to trigger a mechanism inside, and held the knob up near his mouth. “Zinzolin!”

“Lord Ghetsis!” responded a rough, ragged voice from the other end of the communicator.

“Give me an update on the status of the protest.”

“It’s progressing nicely. The people of Violet City have taken your words to heart and are demanding answers from Gym Leader Falkner. He hasn’t come out yet, in fact, his only response has been to shut down the Gym for the day.”

“We’ll worry about him later. Listen, I’ve got a new mission for you. It turns out that our little prince is in the Pokémon Center in Violet City. Before you collect him, though, I want you to find Matt Chiaki and take him out. Do what you must to complete the mission.”

“Consider it done, Lord Ghetsis.”

-:-

Much like the lobby of his school, Earl’s office was a cluttered place. Books and folders were scattered about the office, while still more award certificates lined the walls.

The door of the office groaned heavily as Earl pushed it open to allow himself and his guests inside. Almost immediately, the three students waiting within jumped up, greeting the group as they came in; one of the two girls in the trio had a significantly delayed reaction, as if she failed to notice anything until the others had risen.

“Welcome back, Dad!” the girl who had gotten up immediately exclaimed. “Did you get what you promised us?”

“I always keep my promises, Avril,” Dominic cheerfully replied. “I promised a surprise, and here
he is!”

Realizing after a brief moment that Dominic was referring to him as the surprise, Matt shrugged and sighed, “So you promised them you’d convince me to come here, eh?”

“You all get caught up.” Earl clapped one of his large hands on Matt’s shoulder and the other on Dominic’s, then lumbered over to his desk, which was just as messy as the rest of his office. He pressed the button on the desk’s intercom system and said into it, “Would the teacher of Class 2-A come to my office, please?”

“So these are your kids, then, Dominic?”

“Indeed, Matt, they are. Please, meet Avril, my youngest…” Dominic gestured first to the girl who had verbally greeted him. Like the others, she was wearing a blue-and-black school uniform, and despite being the youngest of Dominic’s three children, she physically looked at least two years older than Olivia.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she said to Matt, her voice carrying an innate sound of confidence bordering on arrogance. “Your battle at the Battle Arcade was very entertaining to watch.”

“And this is Monroe, the middle of the three…”

The boy was much more timid in nature than his sister. He made little of an attempt to directly engage Matt or anyone else, merely saying in a shaky voice, “H-Hello.”

“And finally, my oldest, Helena.”

The eldest of the three, Helena, towered over her siblings. She stood calmly by, running her hand through her red hair, not speaking at first.

It was then that Matt finally realized that Monroe was signing rapidly to her, communicating everything going on in a flurry of masterful hand motions.

“She’s deaf?” Bunny spoke, putting words to the feeling of surprise the group of four shared.

“Since birth.”

Each of Helena’s steps was slow and measured, carrying a dignified air. She directly approached Matt and extended a hand to him.

“I am honored to meet you, sir.”

The mere fact that Helena was able to speak was enough shock Matt still, but beyond that, her voice was surprisingly smooth and refined, capturing her ladylike demeanor perfectly. Matt eventually did manage to shake her hand, but his surprise didn’t wear off, and he directed a puzzled gaze over toward Dominic.

Understanding immediately what Matt was confused by, Dominic beckoned him over and quietly explained, “She didn’t want to let her disability stop her from speaking normally, so I got some Psychic-type Pokémon to help me teach her how. It wasn’t easy, and either Avril or Monroe signs for her when they can, but I’m very proud of her and all the work she did to overcome it.”

Meanwhile, while Matt and Dominic were talking, Helena had turned her attention to Nekou. “I like your necklace,” she said, pointing at the piece of jewelry around Nekou’s neck.

“What? Oh, this.” Nekou briefly flinched, but she quickly recovered and lifted the pendant from her chest to show it off. Its gem was in the shape of an eight-pointed star whose upper diagonal points were colored red, lower diagonal points shaded light blue and four straight points hued in dark purple. “It’s very precious to me. I got it in Whitegold City.”

Monroe quickly signed to interpret Nekou’s words for Helena, and once she understood what was said, she smiled warmly. “It’s a Victory Star, then. It’s very pretty.”

Just then, the sound of something tapping against the office’s door interrupted the conversation. Whatever caused the mysterious noise persistently tapped against the door for a few seconds, before abruptly stopping. The handle turned, and the door opened to allow a woman inside. The source of the tapping turned out to be her walking stick, which provided her with the sense of her surroundings that her cloudy eyes could not give her. She had striking blue hair that curled down her back like clouds, and an Arcanine was walking closely by her side for additional support.

“You called me, Earl?”

“Amanda!” Matt instantly gasped, having been overcome by pleasant surprise.

“Big brother!” Amanda’s emotions rose in a very similar fashion. She first sharply turned her head in the direction of Matt’s voice, then rushed in his direction, crashing into him in a reckless attempt at an embrace.

“See? I told you I had a surprise for you!” Earl said jovially. “A reunion of brother and sister!”

“Miss Chiaki is the little sister of Matt Chiaki after all,” Avril said out loud. “Now I believe it.”

“Amanda, you’re a teacher here now?” This question was the only coherent thing that came to Matt’s mind right away. He was so internally consumed by emotions – joy in seeing his sister for the first time in a while, pride in the accomplishments she’d been implied to have made, sadness that she still struggled with her blindness – that he couldn’t put many words to those thoughts.

Separating herself from her brother, Amanda gently shook her head. “Not permanently. I’m just taking some time to do something on my own for a while.”

“But you didn’t tell your students you’re Matt’s sister?” Olivia suddenly piped up.

“Huh?” Amanda turned her head in confusion, trying to perceive where the voice was coming from. “Olivia?”

“Yeah, it’s me. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“Several years now,” Amanda replied with a smile. “Anyway, I didn’t tell Avril and my other students about my brother because I didn’t want to live in his shadow. I wanted them to look up to me because they wanted to, not because of who my brother is.”

“Aw, come on, Amanda, don’t give me that much credit,” Matt chuckled in an attempt to sound humble. “All of us know you’re far more skilled as a trainer than I am.”

“You know what would be inspiring to my students? Let’s you and I show them a battle between the two of us! You really are better than you give yourself credit for!”

“That’s a great idea!” Earl quickly interrupted. “I’ll run ahead and get everything set in the outdoor battlefield!”

Bounding across the office, Earl was gone in a flash, leaving a mass of exasperation in his wake. Even Dominic found himself a bit stunned at the headmaster’s enthusiasm.

“I guess my answer is yes,” Matt sighed. “It doesn’t matter, though. I was going to say yes anyway.”

“Matt, you don’t stand a chance. Not even my dad could beat Amanda, remember?”

Closing his eyes, Matt thought back to five years earlier. Back then, Amanda had been the champion of a regional competition, and Olivia’s father Rich earned the chance to battle her. He failed completely against Amanda, however, at least in no small part because of her tactics throwing him off. She had in her team of Pokémon a Zoroark, a Pokémon with powers of illusion. Those powers made it possible for her to disguise the Dark-type Zoroark as a Hariyama, which drew Rich into attempting repeatedly to damage what he believed was a Fighting-type Pokémon. Amanda ended up winning the match without losing a single one of her Pokémon.

“Well, at least this time I know she has Zoroark,” he finally said, slowly reopening his eyes. “Rich had no idea what he was up against.”

“Wait, before we go…” Dominic spoke up, “would you be willing to see the Pokémon my kids have as well?”

“I would like to,” answered Olivia. “Matt, hold up.”

“I see someone hasn’t changed much,” Amanda said, smiling once again. “Avril, Monroe and Helena have some interesting Pokémon. I think you’ll like them.”

“May I go first?” Helena volunteered, having stayed fully updated on the situation through Monroe’s signing. “Klink, come out!”

Helena took the single Poké Ball she possessed from her waist and opened it, producing a burst of energy. The Pokémon it turned into had the form of two interlocking silver gears with six teeth and a simple face on each gear.

“It looks familiar, but not exactly like what I remember…” Olivia commented as she took out her Pokédex.

“Klink, the Gear Pokémon. Type is Steel. Two bodies comprise a fixed pair. They spin around each other to generate energy.”

“I know, it’s a previous evolution of Klinklang,” Bunny guessed.

“That’s correct!” Helena confirmed once she was aware of what Bunny had said. “Do you like my Klink? It’s been my friend for a long time now.”

“It’s cute, and it should be strong once it evolves. I’d like to battle you later on.”

“I’ll look forward to that day, Olivia.”

“I… guess I’m next.” Monroe’s manner continued to be as timid as ever, even as he opened up his own Poké Ball. “Vanillite, I ask you to come out.”

Whereas Klink was fairly straightforward in appearance, Monroe’s Vanillite was more unusual, appearing to be a small ice cream cone with a wide-eyed, smiling face on top of a body made of ice and snow.

“Vanillite, the Fresh Snow Pokémon. Type is Ice. Theoretically, this Pokémon formed from icicles bathed in energy from the morning sun. Their breath is -58° F.”

Another difference between Vanillite and Klink was that Vanillite was a lot more outgoing, floating right up to Olivia and laughing.

“Aren’t you a cute one?” she said to the Ice-type, laughing along with her. “I just love you!”

“Thank you…”

Avril scoffed at the praise Olivia was heaping upon her brother. “If you think that thing is a good Pokémon, wait until you put your eyes on what I’ve got. Servine, go!”

Much like his trainer, the green, vaguely serpentine Pokémon that emerged from Avril’s Poké Ball had a haughty, arrogant air about himself. Balancing on tiny legs, he stretched his body to its full height and cast a scornful look downward upon Klink and Vanillite.

“Servine, the Grass Snake Pokémon. Type is Grass. Evolved form of Snivy, When it gets dirty, its leaves can't be used in photosynthesis, so it always keeps itself clean.”

“Wait a minute…” Remembering something, Olivia hesitated. “Snivy was one of the three Pokémon Professor Juniper said she could offer me, but it specifically was missing. Are you the one who got Snivy?”

“The one and only.” Putting her hands on her hips, Avril leaned forward and smugly asked, “Did you get stuck with one of those inferior ones that were left?”

“He is not inferior!”

“Then let’s see him.”

Without a second thought, Olivia pressed the button to open Oshawott’s Poké Ball. He materialized looking sleepy and still missing his shell, prompting both Avril and her Servine to laugh.

“Wow, you didn’t even take the good one,” she taunted, “but then again, someone who’s childish in both body and spirit taking a childish Pokémon makes sense!”

“Avril!” Dominic snapped, showing a seriousness that he hadn’t before. “Behave yourself!”

“Fine, fine. But let me ask one thing. What happened to its shell?”

“It got broken in a battle with a Gurdurr yesterday.”

Avril managed to suppress another outburst of laughing into little more than a snicker, and she walked toward the door with Servine. “You better pay attention outside and learn something, because you’re gonna need it.”

With that, Avril and Servine left Earl’s office, letting the door slam behind them as they departed. Their sudden exit left Olivia seething in silence over the flood of condescending insults she’d just faced.

“Please, accept my apologies,” Dominic hurriedly said as he too went for the door. “I’ll deal with her.”

“Is she always like this?” Matt questioned once Dominic was out the door.

“It wouldn’t be proper of me to discuss that in front of so many people,” Amanda replied.

“Oh, well, I understand. Let’s just go meet up with Earl then.”

As the remaining group headed out, Monroe approached Olivia. “I’m sorry about my sister. She gets really mean a lot.”

“Yeah, I figured.” Though she initially didn’t look at him, Olivia did eventually turn to Monroe. “Thanks for that.”

-:-

Outside, next to the school building, there was a small battlefield, flanked by a three-tiered bleacher structure. The children comprising Amanda’s class filled said bleachers; Avril, Helena and Monroe were all sitting together in the front row, with Klink, Vanillite and Servine nearby, while Olivia, Nekou and Bunny were nearby.

Matt and Amanda, meanwhile, each stood in squares on opposing sides of a battlefield etched in white paint on the grass. Having taken on the role of referee for the match, Dominic positioned himself at a point near the middle of the battleground, while Earl stood, arms crossed, next to the students in the stands.

“This battle will be between Pokémon Academy instructor Amanda and her challenger, Matt!” Dominic announced to the onlookers. “It will be a full six-on-six Double Battle that ends when all of one side’s Pokémon have fainted. Begin!”

“I’ll take the lead!” Amanda forcefully declared, shedding her quiet demeanor from earlier. “Big brother, see if you can keep up with me! Hariyama, Arcanine, come into the light!”

Amanda, despite her inability to see, had no difficulty taking two Poké Balls from the waist of her gray suit and throwing them. Two large-bodied Pokémon, Hariyama and Arcanine, appeared from them and landed, crashing their immense weight into the ground. Hariyama growled and struck a pose to show off his readiness for battle, and Arcanine simply howled. Both had an air of great discipline.

“Boy, Amanda, you sure aren’t going easy on me, are you?”

“Of course not, so don’t you go easy on me either!”

Matt took a step back. In the very back of his head, behind how much he admired Amanda’s courageous attitude, he actually felt somewhat intimidated by having to face her.

“F-fine, I won’t go easy at all!” he sputtered, throwing out a regular Poké Ball alongside a Dusk Ball. “Hethna and Tanya, make your mark!”

Two more large, heavy Pokémon – Matt’s Golurk and Heatran – entered the battle to oppose Amanda’s pair. Both of them appreciated their opponents on equal footing with themselves, although Hethna – whom Matt had only recently captured, and thus did not know Amanda or her Pokémon – immediately was overcome with an instinct to defend its trainer and allies from what it perceived as threats.

The students in the stands started cheering and talking excitedly over the Pokémon they were seeing, especially Heatran, a minor Legendary Pokémon. From his vantage point next to the bleachers, Earl found himself lost in thought.

“If he were still with us, Sutter would be proud. His grandkids are sure putting on a hell of a show for these kids.”

“Arcanine, Close Combat!”

Before Matt could react, Amanda’s Arcanine was on top of Tanya, striking her with a flurry of vicious blows. Each hit was fueled by the powerful muscles in Arcanine’s legs, lending the assault enough strength to not only shove the nearly half-ton Heatran back significantly, but to also break chips out of her steel armor. All of this came at the price of leaving Arcanine worn out and panting for air, his body weakened against any potential counterattacks.

“Tanya, hold steady!” Having his Heatran put on the defensive so quickly was not the scenario Matt had envisioned at the start of the battle.

“Are you already beaten, big brother?” Amanda taunted him, albeit in her usual endearing way. “Don’t tell me it’s over already!”

“It’s nowhere near over, Amanda. Try this on for size! Tanya, target Arcanine with Earth Power! Hethna, get Hariyama with Shadow Punch!”

“Hurry, Hariyama, use Role Play on Hethna!”

Orange light radiated from Tanya’s feet, indicative of the energy that soon surged through the ground and exploded beneath Arcanine, cracking the earth and pitching the imposing Fire-type onto his side.

Amanda could perceive her Pokémon’s injury even without seeing it by the howl of pain he let out. “Arcanine, hold firm...” she whispered.

Meanwhile, Hariyama extended one of his arms in Hethna’s direction and briefly became enveloped in a Golurk-shaped shadow. The real Golurk struck Hariyama cleanly in the stomach with a blast of shadow shaped like a clenched fist that came from its own arm.

“Hm,” Matt grunted, calculating exactly what Amanda was planning. As soon as he realized what she had just done, his mind and heart began to race. “Hurry, both of you!” he called out, gesturing wildly all the while. “Stop Hariyama with Flash Cannon and Shadow Punch!”

“Big brother, don’t underestimate me for even a moment!” Amanda shouted while tightening her grip on her walking stick. “Arcanine, strike Hethna with Flare Blitz! Hariyama, take Tanya head-on with DynamicPunch!”

All four Pokémon made their moves nearly simultaneously as chaos broke out on the battlefield. Amanda’s Arcanine was the first to land a blow, roaring through the clash in a veil of fire to collide with Hethna, knocking the Golurk onto its back and inadvertently dissipating its Shadow Punch.

While Arcanine collapsed onto Hethna, Tanya managed to take aim at Hariyama and launch a wide beam of bright, shining silver light. Hariyama was undeterred by any possible danger this presented, however, and simply charged right into it with his right arm pulled back. Slowly but surely, he pushed through the continuing assault of Tanya’s Flash Cannon, and once she was within his reach, he swung with all his might.

The resulting collision of Hariyama’s fist with Tanya’s face caused a loud, echoing metallic sound to ring through the area. Despite her immense weight, Tanya ended up getting flung through the air like a ragdoll, ultimately crashing into and crushing a nearby tree. She slumped down onto the ground and stopped moving.
 

The Great Butler

Hush, keep it down
“Heatran is unable to continue battling!” Dominic announced, his voice somewhat drowned out by the excited chatter of the students behind him.

“Amanda just tossed aside a Legendary Pokémon like that...” Bunny said in awe. “She really is strong…”

“I wonder how she got to be so much more powerful than Matt is,” Nekou scoffed, taking a bite out of the frosted croissant in her hand.

“Well, I do think he’s doing a little better than my dad did against her,” Olivia offered in Matt’s defense.

“Tanya, return!” As Matt sent Tanya back inside her Dusk Ball and returned the sphere to his bag, Hethna rose back to its feet, its chest covered with a large burn mark. “Amanda, that was… really something. You figured out that Hethna’s ability is Iron Fist?”

“I had a hunch. I knew that if I copied Hethna’s ability and it turned out to be Iron Fist, defeating Tanya would be no big deal at all.”

“I shouldn’t have put it past you,” he said, smiling. Having come to view Amanda as a true opponent and not just his sister, Matt narrowed his focus off of the spectators and resolved to at least give her a challenge.

Before he could throw the Poké Ball he’d selected, Matt found himself overcome by a sudden blast of cold air. His body immediately began to spasm.

“Wh...what…”

“What’s goi…”

Running with only her sight, Helena had already traced the source of the disruption. She pointed into the air and unwittingly interrupted Bunny by yelling, “Up there!”

“****!” Nekou spat once she saw the blue blur in the sky above Matt. “Get out of there!”

As Matt was unable to move due to the cold, Nekou sprinted in and dragged him off to the bleachers, where Bunny and Olivia immediately clustered around him. Dominic, meanwhile, climbed to shield his three children in the stands themselves.

Amanda, meanwhile, was lost. Without her ability to see what was going on, she was completely in the dark, as all she could hear was the increasingly loud confusion of her students. “Big brother!” she called out, “what’s going on? Earl?!”

“Amanda, shield yourself!” was all Earl could shout back.

The blur had since stopped spinning, revealing itself as a hexagonal snowflake Pokémon with a body of reflective blue ice. Two glowing eyes peered out from inside its body, and chains of ice crystals hung from its mouth.

“Cryo-gonal!” it cried in a voice that sounded as if it were electronically distorted. Setting its eyes on Amanda, the Cryogonal took a deep breath and expelled another gust of icy air. However, Arcanine, Hariyama and Hethna all jumped into action, leaping between Amanda and Cryogonal to protect her from the Frost Breath attack.

Once she appeared safe, Earl hurried to Amanda’s side. The students in the stands by this point had all seen Cryogonal and were rapidly becoming more and more unsettled.

“What…?” Matt groaned as he gradually came to. “Where’d that cold air come from?”

“That Cryogonal,” Olivia pointed out, breaking from the circle surrounding Matt so she could point to the floating Ice-type Pokémon. “It looks different than the one we saw before, though…”

“What’s a wild Cryogonal doing here?” Monroe asked Avril, before signing the same question to Helena.

“I don’t think that’s a wild Cryogonal,” Avril replied almost immediately, pointing off in the direction where the Cryogonal had seemingly come from.

Having breached the fence on the edge of the school’s property, the crowd of protesters who had been picketing Violet Gym earlier in the day advanced toward the battlefield. Leading them was a stout, elderly man wrapped in a thick purple coat whose heavy boots left deep footprints behind in the ground. At his side walked a Jynx and a Weavile, and Cryogonal soon joined them.

“Zinzolin…” Nekou quietly seethed, her voice not rising above a whisper.

“H-huh?” Matt’s shivering was slowly subsiding, but he was still far from well.

“He’s another of Ghetsis’s goons.” Standing, Nekou stared at Zinzolin and angrily added, “These ****ing guys keep coming, and they’re clearly involved with Polaris...”

Zinzolin stopped his advance once he was nearly on the battlefield and turned around. In his thickly-gloved hand, he had a megaphone that he raised to his mouth. “Halt!”

The somewhat-civil mob of protesters following him heeded his order and stopped as well. They continued making a significant amount of noise with their attempts to shout over each other, but they remained more or less in line.

“Before you stands a symbol of the system that has so corrupted our way of life,” Zinzolin explained to the protesters through his megaphone. “Earl’s Pokémon Academy… it is merely a factory to which we supply the raw materials of our children and they are manufactured into the next generation of believers in the ideal of becoming Pokémon masters! Consider how many of them fall by the wayside, forever struggling in the wilderness if they’re even lucky enough to survive... that a place like this would even exist to introduce our children into such a system is preposterous!”

While he was not quite as eloquent as Ghetsis, Zinzolin more than held his own as a speaker. His words held the attention of the protesters, whose internal discussion grew in volume as Zinzolin turned slowly to face Matt and the others.

“And look who is pushing these ideas into innocent young minds… two people who have so little regard for the divine grace of life that they have fouled their bodies using modifications of modern technology. Indeed, Matt and Amanda Chiaki have straddled the boundary of life and death!”

“Silence yourself!” At long last, Amanda shot something back at Zinzolin. Even though she wasn’t directing her blank eyes directly at him, she clearly had a basic idea of where he was standing. “What you say is false! Because big brother and I have suffered and used what we could to recover does not make us bad people. Ask any of my students, who until you ruined it were having quite a pleasurable class today!”

“I see you have some fighting spirit in you. How curious. But, what good would asking any of your students accomplish? Their minds are already poisoned by your lies.”

“We will battle, then…” Amanda growled at the strangely-clothed old man, “…and when I defeat you, you will leave.”

“Don’t count your Torchic before they hatch, girl.” Zinzolin had begun plucking more of his Poké Balls from the black bands wrapping around his coat. “I am not the right hand of Polaris’s spokesman for nothing!”

With that, Zinzolin threw the three remaining Poké Balls. One of them was a blue-and-red Great Ball, which released a Glalie. The two others were regular Poké Balls, one containing an Empoleon and the other letting out a Pokémon that looked like a bigger Vanillite.

“He has Vanillish, Miss Chiaki!” Monroe called to Amanda. “Vanillite’s evolved form!”

“Those Torchic aren’t just already hatched,” Amanda sternly reproached her adversary, “they hatched, matured and laid eggs of their own. Take this!”

Amanda called forth her remaining four Pokémon to join Hariyama and Arcanine. A Snorlax appeared, as did a Gothitelle, who was a feminine, humanoid creature who appeared to be wearing a black dress with many conical sections and white bows. She also possessed a Pokémon very similar to Vanillite and Vanillish but with two heads, with a straw-like protrusion coming from one. Her final Pokémon was her Zoroark, who was a fox Pokémon with a lean black body and a thick black-and-red mane.

“We of Polaris stand for the people,” Zinzolin declared. “Bring your worst!”

“Gladly! I’ll make you regret asking for it! Zoroark, use Flamethrower, and Arcanine, use Wild Charge!”

“Cryogonal, bring in Hail! Glalie, follow with Blizzard!”

Amanda’s Arcanine shrouded himself in sparking yellow electricity and forcefully tackled Empoleon, who made no effort to dodge. This was to buy time for Cryogonal, who was flying overhead, to cry out to the sky. That cry caused dark clouds to gather, which in turn soon gave rise to a steady hailstorm.

These conditions made it ideal for Glalie’s move, as the hailstorm gave greater range to his icy blast. Zoroark dropped her budding Flamethrower and instead formed a shield of glowing hexagons of light in front of herself. Despite this, Amanda’s other Pokémon still were subject to the harsh attack, but they all weathered it well, at least on an immediately apparent level.

Meanwhile, Nekou, Bunny and Olivia clustered even more tightly around Matt, who was shivering and beginning to lapse out of consciousness from the persistent cold.

“Don’t you black out on me!” Nekou yelled at him. “You can’t just let a little ****ing cold stop you!”

“Zoroark, stay over by big brother and use Protect to keep him from getting colder,” Amanda said, having heard Nekou’s shouting. Zoroark immediately followed this direction, freeing up Amanda’s attention so she could once again focus on the battle. “Snorlax, Heavy Slam! Vanilluxe, Signal Beam!”

“Don’t get overconfident! Jynx, use Sweet Kiss!”

A glowing light in the shape of a pair of lips emerged from Jynx’s face and washed over Amanda’s Snorlax as he stood, leaving him wobbling in confusion. He overcame it, though, and managed to leap high into the air. Alongside him, Amanda’s ice cream-like Vanilluxe gathered energy at the tip of her straw and fired a rainbow-colored beam from it.

Seeing these two attacks barreling toward his Pokémon, Zinzolin hastily ordered, “Weavile and Empoleon, block those with Blizzard and Drill Peck!”

Weavile opened her mouth and exhaled an icy gale right into the Signal Beam heading her way, while Empoleon leapt into the air while spinning rapidly, hoping to deflect Snorlax away from Jynx. Neither counter worked, however, and both Weavile and Empoleon were struck down. Snorlax then landed squarely on Jynx, crushing her under his immense weight. His weight, combined with the fact that Heavy Slam was a Steel-type move and thus super-effective on the partially Ice-type Jynx, left her completely unconscious when Snorlax rolled over off of her.

Zinzolin grunted, then recalled Jynx while Amanda called Snorlax back herself. “Well played, curious trainer. But, this is not yet over. It’s about time I showed you the true power Polar…”

“Gothitelle, attack Empoleon with Thunderbolt!” Amanda called out, interrupting Zinzolin’s attempt at a lecture.

“Goth-ii!” Gothitelle shrilled in her deep, womanly voice. Lightning shot out from her body and arced through the air, ultimately making contact with and electrocuting Empoleon. Due to the accidental damage Empoleon had suffered during his attempt at stopping Snorlax, he couldn’t weather Thunderbolt, and he collapsed.

“You were saying?” Amanda taunted a moment later.

“You will not stand in the way of progress, abomination!” fumed Zinzolin as he recalled a Pokémon for the second time in less than a minute. “It’s time I opened up another front in this battle,” he stated, turning his head to Amanda herself. “Cryogonal, Flash Cannon. Weavile, Glalie, use Blizzard. Vanillish, Ice Beam. All of you, target that monster brainwashing these children!”

Amanda immediately gasped in horror; this was what it took to finally cause her to panic. “You won’t hurt my students!!” she screamed, apparently misunderstanding Zinzolin’s intentions and not realizing that he was targeting her. “Arcanine, Hariyama, Gothitelle, Vanilluxe, stop them!”

Amanda’s Pokémon, however, were too slow to respond. Zinzolin’s four remaining Pokémon all powered up and released their attacks simultaneously in the blink of an eye.

Seeing the combined strength of two Blizzards, a Flash Cannon and an Ice Beam going towards their teacher, some of the students began fleeing while screaming in fear, while others froze up and didn’t know what to do. Dominic pulled Avril, Helena and Monroe close, intending to shield them himself if he had to.

Thankfully, it never came to that. Hethna lurched in between Amanda and Zinzolin’s assault, taking all the power infused in the four attacks itself. Hethna couldn’t stand up any longer after taking so many powerful hits at once, and wobbled back and forth briefly before falling forward, its front completely covered in ice.

Amanda’s Pokémon charged forward at their enemies, who were now left wide open. Hariyama attacked first by sending a barrage of jagged stones at Weavile. He then played a second use when Arcanine leaped off his head to gain the altitude necessary to hit Cryogonal with the blazing body slam of Flare Blitz. Glalie ended up the target of both Gothitelle and Vanilluxe, who double-teamed him using Psyshock and a red, pulsing Hyper Beam.

“H-How dare you!” Zinzolin sputtered in indignation, having to recall his fainted Glalie, Weavile and Cryogonal all at once. “I will defeat you! I still have Vanillish!”

“It’s over now. Zoroark!”

All too suddenly, Zinzolin realized the critical error he’d made – he had written off Zoroark for participation in the battle even though she was standing on the sidelines, ready to go at a moment’s notice. He could only watch as Zoroark landed right in front of Vanillish and hit him with a point-blank Flamethrower, rendering him fainted as well.

“I…I…” For a brief moment, Zinzolin had visibly lost his nerve. His hands were shaking, and he bent over as if he were about to fall. He quickly recovered his composure, though, and took a deep breath before recalling Vanillish. “I have failed, and Lord Ghetsis will not be pleased with me. But do not let it be said that I am not a man of my word.”

Turning back to the now-stunned protesters, Zinzolin once again raised his megaphone to his mouth.

“Today’s protest is now concluded. Please, return to your homes and your ordinary lives. Polaris will speak to you again soon.”

The protesters briefly became paralyzed by a collective sense of confusion as they attempted to understand what had just happened. “What about Falkner?” a man in the crowd called out.

“It may be true that we have not yet obtained a statement from a Gym Leader addressing our concerns,” Zinzolin replied, “but we have effectively put our ideals upon a national stage. Be proud of what you accomplished today.”

With their concerns largely soothed by Zinzolin’s explanation, the protesters slowly dispersed, heading back into the city one by one.

Coming around to a sense of satisfaction with his work, Zinzolin started to leave as well. He was forced to stop, however, when he felt a hand grasping the back of his head.

“You’re not going anywhere,” Nekou whispered to the old sage, digging her fingernails into his scalp ever so slightly. “At least, not until you tell me what’s going on.”

“What makes you think I’d ever tell one of you people anything?” Zinzolin didn’t even seem slightly afraid. In fact, he looked relaxed. “You people are just common criminals with no larger sense of purpose beyond personal gain. We stand for justice in society.”

“We have ways of making life very painful for you if you don’t give us the intel we want. Oh, and don’t lecture me about taking things for personal gain. The way I live is none of your ****ing business.” Tightening her grip on his head, she sneered, “Now talk.”

“Hah! The suffering that comes through life is what makes me feel alive in the first place. There’s nothing one of you street thugs could do that would make me talk. I’d lay down my life in the service of Lord Ghetsis before I would ever help one of you.”

“Have it your way.”

“I know you haven’t got it in you to voluntarily kill me,” he said, even while feeling Nekou scratching his head even further, “so let me go now and let’s end this farce.”

“Nekou, just let him go. He’s useless to us anyway.”

Matt had approached Nekou without notice, and she struggled with what he said. Finally, she accepted that he was right about Zinzolin’s uselessness and released the elderly Polaris member from her grasp.

“I don’t know if you’re one of them too or not,” Zinzolin stated without turning around, “but in our eyes, you are all the same. You best prepare yourself, because this idyllic world you live in will soon be turned inside out.”

While Zinzolin walked off, rubbing the back of his head in an attempt to alleviate the pain caused by Nekou’s attack, Nekou herself immediately shot her attention to Matt.

“Why’d you make me release him?! He could have given us valuable intelligence!”

“There’s an even better source of potential information compared to an old man in a winter coat, and it’s right under our noses.” Matt nodded as he spoke. “Let’s make sure all of the students and everyone else are okay, then we’ll go to the Academy’s library.”

-:-

Several hours later, the sun had almost completely set over Johto, leaving Violet City covered by the soft glow of early moonlight and street lamps.

A path on the northern end of the city, consisting of two bridges over a lake, led to a tall pagoda surrounded by trees. Olivia and Avril, who were approaching the structure, stopped on the small island halfway down the path to observe it from the light of the lanterns dotting the road.

“So this is the Sprout Tower?” Olivia asked out loud. “It looks nice, but why bring me here exactly?”

“I shouldn’t have expected a kid like you to know,” Avril scoffed. “They won’t let you challenge the Violet Gym in the first place unless you get approval from the Elder here.”

“And I suppose that’s why you’re here, because you already got permission?” Olivia’s sarcastic taunt was said with full realization that Avril actually hadn’t done so either.

Briefly at a loss for words, Avril hissed back, “I’m more than you’ll ever be, wait and watch. Have your laughs while you can.”

“Oh, whatever. Let’s go.”

Without speaking another word to each other, Olivia and Avril walked the rest of the way to the tower and entered, finding themselves inside an aged chamber constructed nearly entirely of wood. Statues of the Pokémon Bellsprout dotted the room, and a thick, swaying pillar stood at the center, piercing the ceiling to reach into the upper floors.

“Greetings,” a bald-headed monk wearing a black robe said to the two young women as they entered the pagoda. “Welcome to Sprout Tower. Please state your purpose.”

“I want permission to battle Falkner!” Avril demanded.

“Hey, me too!” Olivia added.

“Very well. If you wish to earn our Elder’s permission to battle Falkner, you must reach him on the third floor of our temple. Each of you, take one of the flights of stairs in the back of this chamber. On the above floor you will find a series of chambers where the monks here will test your worthiness for an audience with the Elder. May the gentle luck of the Bellsprout be with you both.”

“I’m going to get up there and win before you even come close,” Avril boasted, putting her hands on her hips.

“As if! I’ll leave you in the dust!”

“You’re on, washboard!”

-:-

The many large wooden bookshelves in the school’s library made the room rather cramped and difficult to move around in. Bunny and Amanda were sitting together at a table on the far side of the library near a window; they weren’t alone for long, as Matt soon returned carrying a thick, heavy book that he dropped on the wooden surface.

“This is the book you mentioned, Amanda,” Matt said as he sat down. “The one with information on Reshiram in it.”

“Yes, big brother. If you’re looking for that Pokémon, there should be a hint in that book, based on what Earl’s told me.”

“I thought Amanda couldn’t walk,” Bunny questioned Matt. “Did something change? What did that old man from Polaris mean about ‘modifying your bodies’ and ‘straddling the boundary of life and death?’”

“Well, you see…” Taking a deep breath, Matt looked down at the table. His thoughts were difficult to process into words. “Like how my body was repaired with machinery to restore my mobility, Amanda has a pair of artificial legs now, so she doesn’t need her wheelchair anymore. My hope is to one day make a workable cybernetic eye so her sight can also be restored.”

“I don’t think those Polaris people like it when humans modify themselves with machines,” Amanda observed.

“No, it’s more than that. Bunny, do you remember what they said in Whitegold City? I don’t think it’s just humans… they oppose the blending of machinery and DNA, period. It’s all organic life.”

“That’s right!” Bunny exclaimed. “The object of their worship is DNA itself, then.”

“Based on what I recall, that would be correct. Something doesn’t add up, though… why would they be campaigning against the Pokémon League system, then?”

“It’s all very frightening…” Amanda listlessly commented.

“I agree,” Bunny concurred.

“There is only one way to cut through all the mystery surrounding everything, and that’s to find Reshiram.” Opening the oversized volume, Matt quickly flipped through the pages until he found one displaying his target, a majestic, blue-eyed dragon with grand plumage on its white body.

“There it is!”

Nodding to Bunny in acknowledgment of her exclamation, Matt began reading out loud.

“The Vast White Fire of Truth, Reshiram.

Legend states that this creature was wielded by a hero centuries ago in Unova. It was once part of a single Pokémon along with Zekrom, and when they were split up, Kyurem was created. But what is the meaning of this? What brought about the splitting of this single Pokémon into three and how can such a thing even be possible? Modern science is unable to provide a certain answer, but theories exist.

Research by Professor Lenora Hawes, director of the museum of archeology in Nacrene City, Unova, suggests that Reshiram, like Zekrom, does not have normal biology in terms humans ordinarily consider. Professor Hawes’s hypothesis states that Reshiram’s body is formed from the flames of truth it controls. This amorphous nature grants Reshiram the ability to alter its body structure, which is most well documented when it takes on the dormant form of the Light Stone. However, research on the last known Light Stone led Professor Hawes to a startling hypothesis regarding Reshiram’s origin – it may be impossible to locate Reshiram or the Light Stone in the traditional sense. Instead, Reshiram may be drawn to individuals who seek the truth with their entire being, hence why the essences of Reshiram and Zekrom were removed from the original Pokémon they once collectively were.”

“It doesn’t have a fixed location? Is that possible?”

“No, no, I won’t accept this!” Matt slammed his fist on the table, not even bothering to pay attention to Bunny’s question. “Reshiram has to be somewhere! I’m no hero, so the idea of finding it by matching the ancient hero’s drive for the truth… I can’t pull that off!”

“Matt, think back to what Dante said!” Bunny pleaded, unwilling to simply sit by and watch Matt destroy himself with doubt. “Remember what you told me he said to you back on Route 29? ‘the Light Stone only appears before an individual who has put in overwhelming effort into finding the truth.’ That’s consistent with what it says here. We have to keep searching.”

Nekou was watching Matt, Amanda and Bunny verbally spar over the Light Stone and Reshiram from a vantage point that mostly obscured her behind a bookcase. She was waiting for when she felt comfortable that they would not notice what she was doing.

Several minutes passed before that feeling finally came. Nekou slid into the narrow aisle defined by the bookcases and removed her glasses, tossing them into a nearby garbage bin with a sharp flick of her wrist. She then took out a new pair that was more rectangular in shape with frames that didn’t cover the tops of the lenses, put them on, and tapped the left-hand stem. This activated a computer built into the glasses, and she used them to scan the shelves.

“Where are you…” she uttered to herself. There was one particular book she wanted to find, and all of her attention was focused on locating it. After covering several rows of books, a signal on her computer glasses flashed. “Well, that wasn’t so hard.”

Nekou switched off her glasses and pulled the book from its place on the shelf. It was not particularly thick, but she knew that it was nevertheless important despite its size.

“A Documentation of Ancient Cultures and Peoples,” she read off the book’s heavy brown cover, “by Sutter Chiaki and Jacob Alexison.”

Opening the book, Nekou skimmed the first page, which revealed that the tome was a collection of writings by Sutter and his then-young assistant, Jacob, centered around the study of its titular subjects. After peering around the bookcase again to confirm that Matt, Bunny and Amanda were still discussing Reshiram and thus not paying attention to her, Nekou thumbed through the book, bypassing several sections until she found the material she sought.

“September 8, 1952 – Jacob and I have begun what we hope will be our most exciting study yet. We wish to find the holy land of the Tenganist people, which may be key to understanding how our world began, as it is said that the Tenganists of this era are descended from the first humans to live on Earth. Most notably, the people of this culture possess a power, Transcendence, with which they can harness powers similar to those of Pokémon. It is documented that they discovered a way to create an object called the Jewel of Life using the elemental Plates occasionally unearthed by archeologists. If we could discover this secret, we may be able to learn ways to help impoverished areas of the world. This is the purpose of our quest.

October 12, 1952 – The original homeland of the Tenganists was near Mt. Coronet in Sinnoh, where our world took shape. However, they fanned out across the world. What we seek is the place where the most direct descendants of those original people now live. This is the holy land of the Tenganists and where the truth must lie. Our search will focus first on places in Sinnoh near Mt. Coronet.

December 31, 1952 - We are spending New Years’ in Snowpoint City. Spent Christmas here too. This isn’t the place we’re looking for, although there are plenty of Tenganists here. It’s not Eterna or Oreburgh either.

January 4, 1953 - We learned from the shrine maiden guarding Snowpoint Temple that we might be able to learn something in Celestic Town. As soon as this snow ends, we’ll be able to make it there.

January 22, 1953 - A breakthrough? The people of Celestic Town seemed to know where what we seek is. We must go south, into the borderlands between Sinnoh and the Tohjo Continent. This may be the last entry for a while.

September 5, 1953 – One year into our quest to find the Tenganist holy land, and we’ve had our biggest breakthrough yet! While visiting a Tenganist village in the borderland region, we met a young woman named Saeko Oryo. She is an oracle living in another village, whose Transcendence power is to see the past and future. Our previous research has indicated that the powers of prophecy – actual seeing, not merely premonition – are difficult to achieve by anyone other than the most pure-blooded Tenganists. When we asked her to take us to her home, she agreed. Has our work finally paid off?

October 3, 1953 – Here in the snowy wasteland between Sinnoh and the Tohjo Continent, Jacob and I have found the Tenganist holy land! With the help of Saeko Oryo, of course. Without her, we would never have had the big breakthrough we did. This village is literally a time capsule… it’s like time doesn’t even pass here.

October 31, 1953 – Neither of us wants to leave. We enjoy the company of Miss Oryo and the other Tenganists far too much, and this village is a lovely place, even if it is cold. –Jacob

November 11, 1953 – Something strange is going on. I was spending some time with Saeko and she used her power. I think she saw something unusual in her vision.

November 12, 1953 – The other people of the village are acting strangely around Jacob and I, and Saeko seems to have withdrawn. Something is definitely strange.”


When her eyes glanced down to the last entry, Nekou’s blood ran cold. It was written in a different style than the others, coming across as panicked and terrified.

“December 8, 1953 – It’s a disaster… the village elders decided to exile Jacob and I, and Saeko was sentenced to burn at the stake as a witch. But it’s not that simple. She tried to run. She ran, and in her desperation, she swallowed that little stone they hid away in the village, and now it’s burning and everyone is dead. Should anyone read this in the future, let it be a warning to you. Stay away from that accursed thing… that Jewel of Life… all it brings is despair! It is cursed! We should never have searched for it in the first place!”

Rattled, Nekou closed the book, tucked it under her arm, and quietly headed to leave the library. “This changes things,” she thought to herself. “I have to find out more about what this means...”

-:-

“Ha! I made it here before you!”

“Be quiet, you bottom feeder. I obviously set foot on this floor well before you!”

For all of Olivia’s bragging and Avril’s insults, their race was too close to call. Both of them had reached the top floor of Sprout Tower at nearly the exact same time.

“I see you have passed the tests posed by my followers.”

Olivia and Avril turned themselves in the direction of the ragged voice. It belonged to an old, bald-headed man dressed in purple and gold robes, who was approaching them from his place of meditation in front of a Bellsprout mosaic.

“Are you the Elder?” Olivia questioned.

“I am. My name is Li, and I welcome you to the Sprout Tower! What have you learned from your training here? I would like the two of you to reflect on that. Since you came here, you must wish to challenge Falkner. I’m the final test before Violet Gym for the two of you. Which one of you will go first?”

“I will!” Avril loudly declared, pushing Olivia aside.

“You’re clearly very eager. What is your name, girl?”

“Avril! And I’m going to be the Champion!”

Li smiled under his thick white moustache. “Very well, Avril, I accept your challenge. Go, Bellsprout!”

As soon as the Bellsprout emerged from Li’s Poké Ball, Avril took out and threw her own, a variant with a green top. The Nest Ball burst open, revealing a small, dinosaur-like Pokémon with a stout blue body and black fur growing on its neck and head.

“That Pokémon is so cute!” Olivia squealed as she scanned the growling creature.

“Deino, the Irate Pokémon. Type is Dark/Dragon. Lacking sight, it's unaware of its surroundings, so it bumps into things and eats anything that moves.”

“Yeah, none of your Pokémon can measure up to her,” Avril snidely boasted regarding Deino. “Deino, open strong. Use Work Up!”

“A wise tactic. I think I shall copy it. Bellsprout, Growth!”

-:-

Dr. Zager was working intently on collecting intelligence from RChannel when he heard the door of his laboratory open. Before he knew it, Jessie was towering over him, holding him up by the collar.

“Why didn’t you tell us everything?!” she cried out. Zager needed a moment before he noticed a tear in the corner of her eye.

“What are you talking about?” Dr. Zager was genuinely naïve of what Jessie was so upset over. He tried to pry her hands off of his collar, but failed.

“You didn’t warn us about what the Meteonite could really do,” James explained as he entered alongside Ariana. “Because of that… Polaris brainwashed Meowth into joining them!”

“What?!”

When Zager started coughing, Ariana ordered, “Jessie, put him down now or I’ll have you written up for insubordination.”

“Fine.”

Jessie didn’t let go of Zager as much as she simply dropped him, and he came close to falling down once he landed. She then fumed back over to rejoin James and Ariana. Meanwhile, Galvantula was hiding under the laboratory table.

“Explain what you’re saying,” the doctor demanded.

“The Team Plasma members who are in Polaris attacked us and we got into a fight with them. During the battle the Meteonite became destabilized, and when Meowth touched it, it changed him. Ariana came to take Jessie and I to you before things got any worse.”

“So help us, Doctor!” Jessie added.

“I’m…” It was difficult for Zager to accept what he was being told. Beneath his occasionally gruff demeanor, he did genuinely care about those under his command, so he felt a strong desire to get Meowth back as well. On the other hand, though, he knew far more than Jessie, James or even Ariana just how hard defeating Polaris would be. “I’m afraid I can’t do anything right now but contact the boss for help. Do you have the R-Pad?”

“Right here,” Jessie said as she held the computer up.

“Then we shall get to the data analysis right away.” Zager narrowed his eyes, and his face became darker. “What could Polaris actually be planning?”

-:-

Polaris’s Adenosine Base stood in the Johto ocean like a massive iron monolith supported by legs on four small islands. The brisk sea breeze blew over the structure as it sat under the bright moonlight.

On one of the four islands, a vast landing area was set up. Several scientists were there, as was Finansielle, the winds blowing the sheer cape running down from her armor to cover the nightgown she wore underneath.

Soon, a large, military-grade helicopter came from over the surface of the sea and settled into hovering over the ring of lights on the landing pad. Its pilot carefully guided the craft downward, landing with little fuss.

A staircase emerged from the side of the chopper and descended in front of Finansielle and the scientists. The cabin door opened, and a blonde, bespectacled man in a flowing white lab coat stepped out. He walked calmly down the stairs and only stopped once he was face-to-face with Finansielle.

“Dr. Colress Antimony, as I live and breathe,” Polaris’s financier greeted him. “Welcome to the Adenosine Base. We shall help you finish your work on Pokémon strength here.”

“So you’re Finansielle, then?” Colress asked, twirling his finger through the long curl of blue hair that wrapped around his head. “I’m looking forward to getting to work. The key of the latent potential of Pokémon…”

“Did you bring those objects I requested?”

“Yes, I did.” Upon Finansielle’s request, Colress held up the briefcase he’d been carrying and opened it, revealing two sharp pins colored in stripes of blue, black and white preserved in orange fluid.

Immediately upon seeing them, Finansielle breathed heavily. “The DNA Splicers… finally, after so long, the key to Polaris’s promised world is finally in our possession…”

“I’ll be more than happy to help you reach that world, too. My expertise will be necessary to create the perfect DNA that we both seek.”





END of CHAPTER 7
 

Blue Saturday

Violet Prince❤️
Since I can't go blow by blow with these reviews, since my memory isn't as nearly as fresh with the material as before and in an effort to catch up, I'll point out key things.

Chapter 1

*Professor Zager's characterization and normal behaviors were pretty spot-on for some of his character.
*Kiss of Death, killer. I wonder if this is foreshadowing an encounter or if it was simple throwaway dialogue.
*The dynasty-ish group of Pokemon-masked people has me interested. Wonder what's up with them.
*Your characterization for Team Rocket was pretty spot-on.
*Professor Juniper being in place for Professor Elm, seemed a tad weird.
*Seems like the Unova Dragons will be playing a part in this story as well.

Chapter 2

*The Battle was decently written, so Renzo is the rival for Olivia? :O Seems a bit upper crust and overbearing.
*Olivia certainly did get on my nerves a bit with her constant whining over Totodile. How old is she again? She was so ungrateful.
*Nice throwback to the anime where Juniper and Fennel were college roommates.
*Didn't quite understand why Olivia was in need of a starter Pokemon, she has a Minccino and Roselia.
*Oshawott's personality gave me the vibes of a toned down anime Oshawott, it was cute.
*I thought Zager's spider was pretty cute, cool expansion right there.
*So, Olivia is aiming for Gym Badges and Contest, reminds me of Nando in a way. Though it's a fun goal since I really enjoy both of those.
*Nekou's bad bitch personality was fun no doubt.
*The fact Olivia does what she does in an attempt to bring back her father seems interesting, though I can't help but wonder about her with her age and all and how long Matt has been keeping this a secret from her. It almost seems cruel to let her walk this path without letting her know sincerely her father is dead and not coming back. It almost seems pretty insulting toward her intelligence that they would continue to deceive her with the false notions her father is living.
 

The Great Butler

Hush, keep it down
Since I can't go blow by blow with these reviews, since my memory isn't as nearly as fresh with the material as before and in an effort to catch up, I'll point out key things.

That's perfectly okay.

Chapter 1

*Professor Zager's characterization and normal behaviors were pretty spot-on for some of his character.

Thank you. He's someone I wanted to get in.

*Kiss of Death, killer. I wonder if this is foreshadowing an encounter or if it was simple throwaway dialogue.

Always assume everything means something.

*The dynasty-ish group of Pokemon-masked people has me interested. Wonder what's up with them.

They're the leaders of the Polaris organization, so in other words, they're very important.

*Your characterization for Team Rocket was pretty spot-on.

I continue to be surprised by how well-received they are. Of all the characters, they were the ones I was worried about writing the most.

*Professor Juniper being in place for Professor Elm, seemed a tad weird.

I wanted to give a slight spin to the usual "trainer gets starter Pokemon from the regional professor" device, and it will come back to be relevant again later, too.

*Seems like the Unova Dragons will be playing a part in this story as well.

Yes.

Chapter 2

*The Battle was decently written, so Renzo is the rival for Olivia? :O Seems a bit upper crust and overbearing.

I think you'll find him to be a bit more than he initially seems right now.

*Olivia certainly did get on my nerves a bit with her constant whining over Totodile. How old is she again? She was so ungrateful.

14.

I didn't want the characters, particularly Olivia since she is the 'trainer' of the group, to be too perfect or likable. I wanted to make them characters who you'd grow to like over time instead of simply loving them immediately.

*Nice throwback to the anime where Juniper and Fennel were college roommates.

Thanks. I might do more with it.

*Didn't quite understand why Olivia was in need of a starter Pokemon, she has a Minccino and Roselia.

It's a sort of rite of passage/formality, though it's a little difficult to really say that much about this without giving spoilers.

*Oshawott's personality gave me the vibes of a toned down anime Oshawott, it was cute.

I think the big difference is that where Ash's Oshawott is cocky and then cowardly, Olivia's Oshawott is very eager to please her.

*I thought Zager's spider was pretty cute, cool expansion right there.

Galvantula is meant to provide a humanizing force in Zager's sphere of influence. Her presence gives him something to show affection toward, and considering that I'm portraying him as fueled by regret, having something like that gives added dimension to his character.

*Nekou's bad bitch personality was fun no doubt.

Heh, well, there's certainly going to be more where that came from. But at the same time, like Renzo, there's going to be more to her than just this.

*The fact Olivia does what she does in an attempt to bring back her father seems interesting, though I can't help but wonder about her with her age and all and how long Matt has been keeping this a secret from her. It almost seems cruel to let her walk this path without letting her know sincerely her father is dead and not coming back. It almost seems pretty insulting toward her intelligence that they would continue to deceive her with the false notions her father is living.

Now this, this is the big one. I agree with everything you've pointed out. That said, I wanted to show Matt making the massive mistake you see here - he's pretty spineless when it comes to difficult, personal issues like this, and while it might have started as a simple "don't explain what happened to Olivia right now" thing several years ago, it got out of control and he only found it harder and harder to do.

Thank you for the review so far!
 

Matori

THE QUEEN IS BACK
Okay, let's do this.

While Galvantula sat nearby gorging herself on a plate of berries Zager had given her, the doctor himself sat at his computer console, casually clicking through a message board website sporting blue message bubbles against a black background. The red script at the site’s top identified it as ‘RChannel.’

Too cute. Galvantulas are great.


“How dull,” Zager said to himself as he absentmindedly scanned past multiple post threads. Many threads on RChannel talked about Pokémon training and collecting, but there were a vast number that focused on other things, ranging from discussion of television programs to bizarre posts such as a recently popular urban legend about an Aerodactyl in a graveyard.

..oh dear. Poor Zager, the Internet must be too much for him.

“There is something I do not understand,” the post read. “Ghetsis Harmonia is a member of Polaris. That is something that anyone who watches television knows. But, he is not the only one from Team Plasma to be connected to Polaris. I saw a member of the Shadow Triad on Route 30 today. Not only that, King N of Team Plasma was there too. So what is going on? What is the true connection between Team Plasma and Polaris?”

“Holy ****, it’s Admin!” the next post, by ‘Slowpoke Tail,’ said. “And she’s got another crazy conspiracy theory!”

“Posting in epic mod thread,” added an anonymous poster.

“Hey Admin, Asuka or Rei?”

It's like I'm really on /a/!

The fourth reply was by the username ‘Sam’ – Pierce’s alias – and was the first to take the topic seriously. “That is an excellent question, Admin. I do not know all of the details of Team Plasma’s relationship with Polaris, but I’ve determined that Ghetsis was likely always working on behalf of Polaris. If he was ever loyal is another question entirely. I’ll do more studying and get back to you.”

Pierce, I'm not sure you understand how imageboards work.

A somber tone hung over the group’s rented room at Violet City’s Pokémon Center. Bunny and Olivia sat and listlessly stared at the television in the room, which was playing a news report on several recent Pokémon Contests, while Nekou sat on her bed and quietly worked on her laptop with the headphones for her music player planted firmly in her ears.

Nekou seems to have the right idea here, I gotta say.

“That guy was scary,” Olivia mumbled into the pillow she was embracing, which muffled her voice. “We’re going to be dealing with a lot like him, aren’t we?”

Poor Olivia. I can only imagine how she must be feeling realizing she and her friends will probably be in danger for a while now.

“In other news, we will now go to a new address delivered by the spokesman for the Polaris organization.”

The pending speech seemed to be timed perfectly to match up with what Matt said, and as they focused on the television, their nerves each tightened to the breaking point. By the time Ghetsis appeared on the screen, Nekou had even taken out her headphones and folded the screen of her laptop down, turning it into a tablet computer.

“People of the Tohjo Continent, I bid you good evening. Tonight I am here to speak to you about traditions. What exactly is tradition, would you say? It is called a tradition for children to be sent out into the world and compete against each other for supremacy. With how long that tradition has stood, should we accept it?” Despite delivering the first part of his address calmly, Ghetsis was soon overcome by his characteristic intensity. “No! We should not accept such a thing! We are a species capable of building a civilized society! Or, at least I thought we were. That we call the practice of sending young people into a lifestyle offering most of them no future just so we can watch their suffering a ‘tradition’ speaks to how far we have to go to truly reach civilization. That is why I call upon you all, people of this nation! Polaris shall perform a miracle to prove the validity of our drive toward true civilization! Please, support us in our endeavor! With your help, a hopeful future is ensured! Thank you for your time tonight.”

This speech is as chilling as the previous speeches Ghetsis has given, but reading it, I realized something made me really angry about the universe in your story- that the media is broadcasting his speeches and giving him the outlet and attention he wants for his cause. It made me think of the equally repulsive people in the real world the media gives a pulpit to, and I love just how much your work seems to sometimes mirror real-world issues.

“That’s not even a question. Ghetsis is a man who is fully aware of his own actions, and he delights in what he does to others.”

Nekou’s words didn’t soothe Olivia, who was further shaken after listening to the thundering speech. “What if he has a point, though?” she grumbled into her pillow. “Look what happened to Nikolai, and all he did was help us. Not only him, either. What about Renzo? There really might be something to what he says... I’m scared…”

Poor Olivia.

“Olivia, you can’t think like that.” Matt tried to put on a strong face, masking his own unsettled emotions over the recent events. “Look, tomorrow you’re going for your first Badge, right? Focus on that. You finally made it to your first Gym.”

“Matt’s saying something smart this time,” Nekou added, putting some sarcasm in her words to lighten things up a bit. “I can tell you that Ghetsis is not a man worth listening to. I disgust myself even using the word ‘man’ to refer to a piece of **** like him.”

Olivia sighed and rolled over onto her side. “Maybe I’m just tired, then. Thanks for talking to me, but I want to go to bed.”
I love everyone's responses here. Matt is awesome to Olivia as always, Nekou is being herself and trolling, and she's right about Ghetsis IMO, and Olivia's reply is perfect considering after all she'd gone through, I'd do the same.


However, Olivia’s loud declaration attracted the attention of the Pokémon Center nurse, who had been standing nearby at her desk. She stepped over to the group and interrupted, “I’m sorry, but I overheard that you want to go to Violet Gym?”

“Yeah, why?” Olivia questioned.

“With our luck, she’s about to say it’s…”

“Sorry, but the Gym is closed right now. Nobody can get to it.”

“…I ****ing knew it,” Nekou finished her thought.

Olivia just can't catch a break, can she? I feel sorry for her, it seems like nothing is going right so far.

“So what prompted you to come out today and join the group picketing your hometown Gym?” the reporter asked. Once he was done speaking, he held his microphone up to his female subject.

“Well, the speeches by Polaris have really opened my eyes. I never really considered before just how many people have it bad, even though we all work hard for everything we have. There are those who have it too easy if you ask me, getting Pokémon and medical care for free while others pay for it. I want Falkner to come out here and tell us how he can participate in this. That’s why I’m here.”

Immediately upon the young woman finishing speaking, the screen shifted back to the news anchor at his desk. “We do not yet have a statement from Violet City Gym Leader Falkner addressing the protests currently taking place outside of his Gym. However, for safety purposes, the Gym has been closed until the tension dissipates.”
Remember what I said earlier about Ghetsis getting a pulpit he didn't deserve from the media? This is why I said it.

“Mister Chiaki? Mister Chiaki, you came to Violet City after all!”

Having just entered the Pokémon Center, Dominic had spotted Matt and his group almost immediately, and now rushed over to meet them with his suitcase still in his hand.

“Oh?” Matt failed to register immediately who he was being approached by, but seeing Dominic’s rumpled suit and tie again quickly rang the bell in his mind. “That’s right, Dominic was it? Sorry I sort of forgot...”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you actually came to Violet City like we arranged!”

Dominic’s overflowing gratitude was a little off-putting to Matt, and even though he didn’t know it, Nekou and Olivia were a little nervous themselves. Bunny was the only one who saw him right away as the overly eager but kindhearted man he truly was.

Dominic is awesome. I love how enthusiastic he always is.

“That’s right, I do remember now. Olivia, if I might say… with the Gym closed, going to the Academy might be a productive way to spend the day.”

“It’s better than nothing,” replied the girl, her facial features becoming hardened with determination. “Let’s do it!”

At least Olivia is being more optimistic now. Good to see her feeling better.

“And don’t forget me,” Nekou chimed in, tossing herself over Matt’s shoulders, much to his visible discomfort. “Remember what I get there. Books. One of my six basic food groups.”

“And what are the other five?”

“Bacon, hamburgers, potato chips, chocolate and beer.”

oh u Nekou

“Be careful with handling the Meteonite,” Mercury warned. “If it destabilizes, you might end up like this.” As she finished speaking, she gestured down to Meowth, who was listlessly standing next to her.

I feel so bad for Meowth right now.

“Yeah, that’s going to be a problem,” the scientist responded, frowning. “Something strange has gone on since the Meteonite landed here. It agitated all the Unown, and they used their reality-warping powers to change the structure of the Ruins of Alph. All the maps we had are obsolete now.”

I hate when the Unown render my maps obsolete.

“I guess we’ll be going in blindly, then. Thankfully Meteonite will react to itself, so we can use the small amount we have to track down the payload. We’ve got just the equipment for the job, too.”

I really like how you've created science for Meteonite. It's the little touches and bits of research like this that make the story so fun to read.

“What’s my assignment in all of this?” Séduire piped up for the first time. “Should I stop Matt from bothering you, Mercury?”

“No, I need you and your henchmen with my team. The Ruins of Alph are a lot more vast than one would expect, and they hold untold dangers, especially now that the Unown rearranged everything. You’ll get a chance to see him soon enough.”

“Promise me that. Mercury, promise me I’ll see Matt again soon… I have to save him…”

“Focus on the task at hand, Séduire. Remember that one day we’ll all be saved.”

Seduire terrifies me, and that's why I love her. Mercury's last line is really creepy, as well.

“Is that good old Dominic I hear?” The voice echoing down the hall was loud and rich, giving itself such strength that it shook the walls. A large man in a blue suit came bounding out into the lobby with heavy steps; his boisterous demeanor surprised all of Dominic’s guests. “Welcome back, my dear Dominic! I see you’ve brought guests, just as you said earlier!”

“Well, um… yes, Mr. Dervish, sir. Please…” Dominic turned to the others as he continued, “…allow me to introduce you. This is Matt Chiaki, and…”

“Oh!!” The rotund man charged right past Dominic, effectively silencing him, and got right in Matt’s face. Matt started sweating and his nerves only frayed further when he realized that his hands were being grasped. “Sutter’s grandson! Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Earl Dervish, and I’m in charge of this Pokémon academy. It is truly an honor to have the grandson of the world’s most legendary archeologist in my school!”

Hahaha, I love Earl already. He's quite the character.

“It would be nice to get credit for some of the things I’ve done myself once in a while,” Matt nervously chuckled in an awkward attempt to inject humor into the situation.

I always imagined it must be awkward for poor Matt to have to grow up in the shadow of his grandfather.

“Talk about a spectacle,” Nekou mumbled under her breath.

Haha, Nekou, never change.

Concordia and Anthea screamed as Chaos’s limp body crashed into the forcefield wall of their prison. They’d been snapped out of their usual blank states by the fury Ghetsis had worked himself into.

“You had him right in front of you and YOU LET HIM GO?!” Ghetsis picked Chaos up by the neck again, much like how he had done before throwing him, and slammed him into the barrier a second time. “That warped boy is key to my rise!”

“P-please forgive me, L-Lord Ghetsis…” It was a struggle for Chaos to speak with Ghetsis’s hand around his neck. “I was… ambushed. It would have taken all three of us…”

“I’ll have none of it!”

Whipping around, Ghetsis flung Chaos across the floor, leaving him in a crumpled heap. He then lurched over to the ninja and pinned the white-haired man’s head under the end of his cane.

This whole scene caught me completely offguard and terrified me, and I love it for that. You really showed once again just how brutal and merciless Ghetsis is.

“Finally, you say something actually useful,” fumed Ghetsis as he removed his cane from Chaos’s cheek. Moving toward the door, he said out loud without looking over his shoulder, “I’ll have Matt Chiaki dealt with before he ever becomes a problem to me.” He then turned the very top of his cane’s handle to trigger a mechanism inside, and held the knob up near his mouth. “Zinzolin!”

I love the idea of Ghetsis' cane as hiding a microphone.

“It’s progressing nicely. The people of Violet City have taken your words to heart and are demanding answers from Gym Leader Falkner. He hasn’t come out yet, in fact, his only response has been to shut down the Gym for the day.”

Once again, you show just how much Ghetsis is affecting the rest of the world very effectively.

“Welcome back, Dad!” the girl who had gotten up immediately exclaimed. “Did you get what you promised us?”

“I always keep my promises, Avril,” Dominic cheerfully replied. “I promised a surprise, and here
he is!”

Dominic really is an awesome dad. He's just adorable.


“Indeed, Matt, they are. Please, meet Avril, my youngest…” Dominic gestured first to the girl who had verbally greeted him. Like the others, she was wearing a blue-and-black school uniform, and despite being the youngest of Dominic’s three children, she physically looked at least two years older than Olivia.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she said to Matt, her voice carrying an innate sound of confidence bordering on arrogance. “Your battle at the Battle Arcade was very entertaining to watch.”

“And this is Monroe, the middle of the three…”

The boy was much more timid in nature than his sister. He made little of an attempt to directly engage Matt or anyone else, merely saying in a shaky voice, “H-Hello.”

“And finally, my oldest, Helena.”

The eldest of the three, Helena, towered over her siblings. She stood calmly by, running her hand through her red hair, not speaking at first.

Perfect description and characterization in this passage. You really do present a complete picture of each of Dominic's kids.


The mere fact that Helena was able to speak was enough shock Matt still, but beyond that, her voice was surprisingly smooth and refined, capturing her ladylike demeanor perfectly. Matt eventually did manage to shake her hand, but his surprise didn’t wear off, and he directed a puzzled gaze over toward Dominic.

Understanding immediately what Matt was confused by, Dominic beckoned him over and quietly explained, “She didn’t want to let her disability stop her from speaking normally, so I got some Psychic-type Pokémon to help me teach her how. It wasn’t easy, and either Avril or Monroe signs for her when they can, but I’m very proud of her and all the work she did to overcome it.”

I am absolutely loving Helena. Disability representation in the Pokemon fandom is sadly very lacking, and you managed to portray Helena perfectly, showing her as empowered and in control of her life. You're doing a great job with her, and I'm happy to see a writer include disabled people in their work.
“Amanda!” Matt instantly gasped, having been overcome by pleasant surprise.

“Big brother!” Amanda’s emotions rose in a very similar fashion. She first sharply turned her head in the direction of Matt’s voice, then rushed in his direction, crashing into him in a reckless attempt at an embrace.

AWW

“Amanda, you’re a teacher here now?” This question was the only coherent thing that came to Matt’s mind right away. He was so internally consumed by emotions – joy in seeing his sister for the first time in a while, pride in the accomplishments she’d been implied to have made, sadness that she still struggled with her blindness – that he couldn’t put many words to those thoughts.

More awesome portrayals of disabled people- women, no less. I love it. Thanks for writing a story where disabled people are able to do things everyone else can do. There need to be more stories like that.

“Several years now,” Amanda replied with a smile. “Anyway, I didn’t tell Avril and my other students about my brother because I didn’t want to live in his shadow. I wanted them to look up to me because they wanted to, not because of who my brother is.”

“Aw, come on, Amanda, don’t give me that much credit,” Matt chuckled in an attempt to sound humble. “All of us know you’re far more skilled as a trainer than I am.”
Amanda keeps getting more badass.


Closing his eyes, Matt thought back to five years earlier. Back then, Amanda had been the champion of a regional competition, and Olivia’s father Rich earned the chance to battle her. He failed completely against Amanda, however, at least in no small part because of her tactics throwing him off. She had in her team of Pokémon a Zoroark, a Pokémon with powers of illusion. Those powers made it possible for her to disguise the Dark-type Zoroark as a Hariyama, which drew Rich into attempting repeatedly to damage what he believed was a Fighting-type Pokémon. Amanda ended up winning the match without losing a single one of her Pokémon.

Nice flashbacks to your earlier work. Excellent way filling readers in.

“Wait a minute…” Remembering something, Olivia hesitated. “Snivy was one of the three Pokémon Professor Juniper said she could offer me, but it specifically was missing. Are you the one who got Snivy?”

“The one and only.” Putting her hands on her hips, Avril leaned forward and smugly asked, “Did you get stuck with one of those inferior ones that were left?”

“He is not inferior!”

“Then let’s see him.”

Without a second thought, Olivia pressed the button to open Oshawott’s Poké Ball. He materialized looking sleepy and still missing his shell, prompting both Avril and her Servine to laugh.

“Wow, you didn’t even take the good one,” she taunted, “but then again, someone who’s childish in both body and spirit taking a childish Pokémon makes sense!”

Yes, I can tell already Olivia and Avril are going to get along great. Snivy is a perfect match for Avril, too.

“Avril!” Dominic snapped, showing a seriousness that he hadn’t before. “Behave yourself!”

Dominic really has a handful on his hands with Avril.

“Is she always like this?” Matt questioned once Dominic was out the door.

“It wouldn’t be proper of me to discuss that in front of so many people,” Amanda replied.

I really love how professional Amanda is, really. Even to her brother she won't discuss her matters as a teacher.

The Matt vs Amanda battle is EXCELLENT. I really enjoyed the action and the descriptions, and you definitely threw me a curveball there with Hariyama's use of Role Play and the results of said move.

Before he could throw the Poké Ball he’d selected, Matt found himself overcome by a sudden blast of cold air. His body immediately began to spasm.

ohhhhh crap. I didn't expect this coming at all, either. Things really took a turn for the worse.

Having breached the fence on the edge of the school’s property, the crowd of protesters who had been picketing Violet Gym earlier in the day advanced toward the battlefield. Leading them was a stout, elderly man wrapped in a thick purple coat whose heavy boots left deep footprints behind in the ground. At his side walked a Jynx and a Weavile, and Cryogonal soon joined them.

OH ****. I did not expect this in the least. Good job.

The somewhat-civil mob of protesters following him heeded his order and stopped as well. They continued making a significant amount of noise with their attempts to shout over each other, but they remained more or less in line.

It's chilling how they'll listen to Zinzolin.

“Before you stands a symbol of the system that has so corrupted our way of life,” Zinzolin explained to the protesters through his megaphone. “Earl’s Pokémon Academy… it is merely a factory to which we supply the raw materials of our children and they are manufactured into the next generation of believers in the ideal of becoming Pokémon masters! Consider how many of them fall by the wayside, forever struggling in the wilderness if they’re even lucky enough to survive... that a place like this would even exist to introduce our children into such a system is preposterous!”

As insane as Zinzolin's rants are, like Ghetsis, you can really see why people might latch on to them.

“And look who is pushing these ideas into innocent young minds… two people who have so little regard for the divine grace of life that they have fouled their bodies using modifications of modern technology. Indeed, Matt and Amanda Chiaki have straddled the boundary of life and death!”

“Silence yourself!” At long last, Amanda shot something back at Zinzolin. Even though she wasn’t directing her blank eyes directly at him, she clearly had a basic idea of where he was standing. “What you say is false! Because big brother and I have suffered and used what we could to recover does not make us bad people. Ask any of my students, who until you ruined it were having quite a pleasurable class today!”

“I see you have some fighting spirit in you. How curious. But, what good would asking any of your students accomplish? Their minds are already poisoned by your lies.”

“We will battle, then…” Amanda growled at the strangely-clothed old man, “…and when I defeat you, you will leave.”

“Don’t count your Torchic before they hatch, girl.” Zinzolin had begun plucking more of his Poké Balls from the black bands wrapping around his coat. “I am not the right hand of Polaris’s spokesman for nothing!”

With that, Zinzolin threw the three remaining Poké Balls. One of them was a blue-and-red Great Ball, which released a Glalie. The two others were regular Poké Balls, one containing an Empoleon and the other letting out a Pokémon that looked like a bigger Vanillite.

“He has Vanillish, Miss Chiaki!” Monroe called to Amanda. “Vanillite’s evolved form!”

“Those Torchic aren’t just already hatched,” Amanda sternly reproached her adversary, “they hatched, matured and laid eggs of their own. Take this!”

HELL YEAH. Amanda is a freakin' badass.

“Zoroark, stay over by big brother and use Protect to keep him from getting colder,” Amanda said, having heard Nekou’s shouting. Zoroark immediately followed this direction, freeing up Amanda’s attention so she could once again focus on the battle. “Snorlax, Heavy Slam! Vanilluxe, Signal Beam!”

Amanda is also the world's most awesome sister.

Zinzolin grunted, then recalled Jynx while Amanda called Snorlax back herself. “Well played, curious trainer. But, this is not yet over. It’s about time I showed you the true power Polar…”

“Gothitelle, attack Empoleon with Thunderbolt!” Amanda called out, interrupting Zinzolin’s attempt at a lecture.

“Goth-ii!” Gothitelle shrilled in her deep, womanly voice. Lightning shot out from her body and arced through the air, ultimately making contact with and electrocuting Empoleon. Due to the accidental damage Empoleon had suffered during his attempt at stopping Snorlax, he couldn’t weather Thunderbolt, and he collapsed.

“You were saying?” Amanda taunted a moment later.

oh snap

“You will not stand in the way of progress, abomination!” fumed Zinzolin as he recalled a Pokémon for the second time in less than a minute. “It’s time I opened up another front in this battle,” he stated, turning his head to Amanda herself. “Cryogonal, Flash Cannon. Weavile, Glalie, use Blizzard. Vanillish, Ice Beam. All of you, target that monster brainwashing these children!”

Amanda immediately gasped in horror; this was what it took to finally cause her to panic. “You won’t hurt my students!!” she screamed, apparently misunderstanding Zinzolin’s intentions and not realizing that he was targeting her. “Arcanine, Hariyama, Gothitelle, Vanilluxe, stop them!”

Zinzolin, you are a horrible person. Seriously, Zinzolin is terrifying just because he willingly goes after a teacher in front of her students in the name of his demented cause. Your villains in this are all pretty chilling as a whole, but then you get to people like Ghetsis and Zinzolin who just keep getting worse.

Thankfully, it never came to that. Hethna lurched in between Amanda and Zinzolin’s assault, taking all the power infused in the four attacks itself. Hethna couldn’t stand up any longer after taking so many powerful hits at once, and wobbled back and forth briefly before falling forward, its front completely covered in ice.

Hethna confirmed for sis-tier Heatran. I love how loyal Hethna is to do that to protect Amanda.

“I…I…” For a brief moment, Zinzolin had visibly lost his nerve. His hands were shaking, and he bent over as if he were about to fall. He quickly recovered his composure, though, and took a deep breath before recalling Vanillish. “I have failed, and Lord Ghetsis will not be pleased with me. But do not let it be said that I am not a man of my word.”

You can tell how frightened Zinzolin is from his reaction to losing. After what happened to Chaos earlier, I can't blame him.

The protesters briefly became paralyzed by a collective sense of confusion as they attempted to understand what had just happened. “What about Falkner?” a man in the crowd called out.

“It may be true that we have not yet obtained a statement from a Gym Leader addressing our concerns,” Zinzolin replied, “but we have effectively put our ideals upon a national stage. Be proud of what you accomplished today.”

With their concerns largely soothed by Zinzolin’s explanation, the protesters slowly dispersed, heading back into the city one by one.

urgh, they never give up, do they?

“You’re not going anywhere,” Nekou whispered to the old sage, digging her fingernails into his scalp ever so slightly. “At least, not until you tell me what’s going on.”

I'm happy Nekou stepped in at this point. She's scary enough to try and get what she wants.

“We have ways of making life very painful for you if you don’t give us the intel we want. Oh, and don’t lecture me about taking things for personal gain. The way I live is none of your ****ing business.” Tightening her grip on his head, she sneered, “Now talk.”

Badass. Man, this chapter's just full of badass ladies doing badass things, and I love it.

“Hah! The suffering that comes through life is what makes me feel alive in the first place. There’s nothing one of you street thugs could do that would make me talk. I’d lay down my life in the service of Lord Ghetsis before I would ever help one of you.”

This didn't make Zinzolin any less terrifying.


“Nekou, just let him go. He’s useless to us anyway.”

Matt had approached Nekou without notice, and she struggled with what he said. Finally, she accepted that he was right about Zinzolin’s uselessness and released the elderly Polaris member from her grasp.

I actually appreciate that Matt has to call off Nekou sometimes. I think it shows he can tell when it's best not to get into too much trouble and also in some ways that he's looking out for her at this point and doesn't want her wasting energy or starting trouble when it's not worth it.

“I shouldn’t have expected a kid like you to know,” Avril scoffed. “They won’t let you challenge the Violet Gym in the first place unless you get approval from the Elder here.”

“And I suppose that’s why you’re here, because you already got permission?” Olivia’s sarcastic taunt was said with full realization that Avril actually hadn’t done so either.

Briefly at a loss for words, Avril hissed back, “I’m more than you’ll ever be, wait and watch. Have your laughs while you can.”

“Oh, whatever. Let’s go.”

Avril and Olivia's fighting is adorable and endearing in a way. I really like how dynamic their relationship is.


“Very well. If you wish to earn our Elder’s permission to battle Falkner, you must reach him on the third floor of our temple. Each of you, take one of the flights of stairs in the back of this chamber. On the above floor you will find a series of chambers where the monks here will test your worthiness for an audience with the Elder. May the gentle luck of the Bellsprout be with you both.”

“I’m going to get up there and win before you even come close,” Avril boasted, putting her hands on her hips.

“As if! I’ll leave you in the dust!”

“You’re on, washboard!”

The monk is endearing, in an odd way. I really love him. And Olivia and Avril trash talking each other is more cute.

“I thought Amanda couldn’t walk,” Bunny questioned Matt. “Did something change? What did that old man from Polaris mean about ‘modifying your bodies’ and ‘straddling the boundary of life and death?’”

“Well, you see…” Taking a deep breath, Matt looked down at the table. His thoughts were difficult to process into words. “Like how my body was repaired with machinery to restore my mobility, Amanda has a pair of artificial legs now, so she doesn’t need her wheelchair anymore. My hope is to one day make a workable cybernetic eye so her sight can also be restored.”

“I don’t think those Polaris people like it when humans modify themselves with machines,” Amanda observed.

“No, it’s more than that. Bunny, do you remember what they said in Whitegold City? I don’t think it’s just humans… they oppose the blending of machinery and DNA, period. It’s all organic life.”

“That’s right!” Bunny exclaimed. “The object of their worship is DNA itself, then.”

“Based on what I recall, that would be correct. Something doesn’t add up, though… why would they be campaigning against the Pokémon League system, then?”

“It’s all very frightening…” Amanda listlessly commented.

Another fantastic recap, and it feels very natural.

“No, no, I won’t accept this!” Matt slammed his fist on the table, not even bothering to pay attention to Bunny’s question. “Reshiram has to be somewhere! I’m no hero, so the idea of finding it by matching the ancient hero’s drive for the truth… I can’t pull that off!”

Poor Matt. I can really understand why he's having this breakdown- Reshiram is all he really wants to find, and even the suggestion it might be harder than it looks must really tear him up.

The scene of Nekou reading the journals is perfectly-handled horror. The final entry sent chills down my spine. Things sound average, even cheerful, until the **** really hits the fan. The backstory about the Tenganists was also fantastic and answered some questions while asking more.

“Ha! I made it here before you!”

“Be quiet, you bottom feeder. I obviously set foot on this floor well before you!”

I love them so much.

As soon as the Bellsprout emerged from Li’s Poké Ball, Avril took out and threw her own, a variant with a green top. The Nest Ball burst open, revealing a small, dinosaur-like Pokémon with a stout blue body and black fur growing on its neck and head.

“That Pokémon is so cute!” Olivia squealed as she scanned the growling creature.

I agree, Olivia.

Dr. Zager was working intently on collecting intelligence from RChannel when he heard the door of his laboratory open. Before he knew it, Jessie was towering over him, holding him up by the collar.

“Why didn’t you tell us everything?!” she cried out. Zager needed a moment before he noticed a tear in the corner of her eye.

“What are you talking about?” Dr. Zager was genuinely naïve of what Jessie was so upset over. He tried to pry her hands off of his collar, but failed.

“You didn’t warn us about what the Meteonite could really do,” James explained as he entered alongside Ariana. “Because of that… Polaris brainwashed Meowth into joining them!”

“What?!”

When Zager started coughing, Ariana ordered, “Jessie, put him down now or I’ll have you written up for insubordination.”

“Fine.”

Okay, I can totally see Jessie reacting this way. I think a lot of people forget she's very assertive and protective of those she cares about, and when her friends are in trouble she'll do whatever it takes to help them. Ariana having to call Jessie off is a nice touch- poor Zager didn't know what hit him.

Jessie didn’t let go of Zager as much as she simply dropped him, and he came close to falling down once he landed. She then fumed back over to rejoin James and Ariana. Meanwhile, Galvantula was hiding under the laboratory table.
Poor, nervous Galvantula.

“I’m…” It was difficult for Zager to accept what he was being told. Beneath his occasionally gruff demeanor, he did genuinely care about those under his command, so he felt a strong desire to get Meowth back as well. On the other hand, though, he knew far more than Jessie, James or even Ariana just how hard defeating Polaris would be. “I’m afraid I can’t do anything right now but contact the boss for help. Do you have the R-Pad?”

I agree that Zager is definitely the kind who looks out for those he works with. He's the cool science grandpa, after all, and I'm happy you pointed this out.

Polaris’s Adenosine Base stood in the Johto ocean like a massive iron monolith supported by legs on four small islands. The brisk sea breeze blew over the structure as it sat under the bright moonlight.

On one of the four islands, a vast landing area was set up. Several scientists were there, as was Finansielle, the winds blowing the sheer cape running down from her armor to cover the nightgown she wore underneath.

Soon, a large, military-grade helicopter came from over the surface of the sea and settled into hovering over the ring of lights on the landing pad. Its pilot carefully guided the craft downward, landing with little fuss.

Excellent imagery here. I love how atmospheric this scene is.

A staircase emerged from the side of the chopper and descended in front of Finansielle and the scientists. The cabin door opened, and a blonde, bespectacled man in a flowing white lab coat stepped out. He walked calmly down the stairs and only stopped once he was face-to-face with Finansielle.

Oh crap, could it be?

“Dr. Colress Antimony, as I live and breathe,” Polaris’s financier greeted him. “Welcome to the Adenosine Base. We shall help you finish your work on Pokémon strength here.”

IT IS! Nice last name, it works perfectly.

“So you’re Finansielle, then?” Colress asked, twirling his finger through the long curl of blue hair that wrapped around his head. “I’m looking forward to getting to work. The key of the latent potential of Pokémon…”

I don't think I've ever hnnghed so hard reading a fanfic. That mental image is just too much for me. >:D




Fantastic chapter. The battles were all exciting and well-written, with excellent description of the attacks and their effects, the characters were all really well written as well, and this was definitely a thrilling chapter. Once again, keep up the excellent work.
 

Bay

YEAHHHHHHH
Like the RChannel scene, thought it’s pretty neat Team Rocket created it. Heh some of the messages are fun.

Moving the review ahead to the school scenes since this is where most of the plot in this chapter will be focused on (I think this is handled fine IMO by the way). Heh, totally forgot about Amanda’s appearance back in Pokemon XD^3 until it’s briefly mentioned. It’s great to see her again, though. Thought it’s interest psychic Pokemon helped Helena able to speak normally while still deaf. Really shaking my head at Avril’s rudeness to Olivia there.

“You will not stand in the way of progress, abomination!” fumed Zinzolin as he recalled a Pokémon for the second time in less than a minute. “It’s time I opened up another front in this battle,” he stated, turning his head to Amanda herself. “Cryogonal, Flash Cannon. Weavile, Glalie, use Blizzard. Vanillish, Ice Beam. All of you, target that monster brainwashing these children!”

Amanda immediately gasped in horror; this was what it took to finally cause her to panic. “You won’t hurt my students!!” she screamed, apparently misunderstanding Zinzolin’s intentions and not realizing that he was targeting her. “Arcanine, Hariyama, Gothitelle, Vanilluxe, stop them!”
To be honest, I’m scratching my head as to why Amanda would misunderstand the “target that monster brainwashing these children” unless she didn’t catch Zinzolin saying “that monster”, which she should.

Other than that, the battle between Amanda and Zinzolin is enjoyable. Her Pokemon are forces not to be reckon with for sure, heh. Also good thing Matt’s Golurk saved her.

Sutter and Jacob’s entries I like a lot. Like Dawn said at first everything seems calm and peaceful until the last entry. Woah on the burning village. D:

“I’m…” It was difficult for Zager to accept what he was being told. Beneath his occasionally gruff demeanor, he did genuinely care about those under his command, so he felt a strong desire to get Meowth back as well. On the other hand, though, he knew far more than Jessie, James or even Ariana just how hard defeating Polaris would be. “I’m afraid I can’t do anything right now but contact the boss for help. Do you have the R-Pad?”
Favorite part of the part with Zager and TR since this shows a different take on him I like a lot.

Hi Colress! XD His line at the very end of the chapter…oh my. :p

Overall another satisfactory chapter there! Looking forward to the next one!
 
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The Great Butler

Hush, keep it down
Too cute. Galvantulas are great.

Yes, yes they are.

..oh dear. Poor Zager, the Internet must be too much for him.

I don't think he knew what he was in for when he helped RChannel's creator create it.

It's like I'm really on /a/!

Only if Admin answered Asuka.
They would have chosen Mari. Make of that what you will.

Pierce, I'm not sure you understand how imageboards work.

This isn't your average imageboard.

Nekou seems to have the right idea here, I gotta say.

Isn't that always the right idea?

Poor Olivia. I can only imagine how she must be feeling realizing she and her friends will probably be in danger for a while now.

Yeah, she is not in a good situation, and it only gets worse from here.

This speech is as chilling as the previous speeches Ghetsis has given, but reading it, I realized something made me really angry about the universe in your story- that the media is broadcasting his speeches and giving him the outlet and attention he wants for his cause. It made me think of the equally repulsive people in the real world the media gives a pulpit to, and I love just how much your work seems to sometimes mirror real-world issues.

Good; I encourage you to continue thinking about things in this way, because I want to get people thinking with this story.

But consider this: you know Ghetsis is a terrible person and is most likely using these ideals for a more self-centered end, but put yourself in the position of someone who lives in-universe and doesn't know all these things. I think how these speeches would affect you would be different.

Poor Olivia.

Can you blame her?

I love everyone's responses here. Matt is awesome to Olivia as always, Nekou is being herself and trolling, and she's right about Ghetsis IMO, and Olivia's reply is perfect considering after all she'd gone through, I'd do the same.

I enjoyed writing that part.

Olivia just can't catch a break, can she? I feel sorry for her, it seems like nothing is going right so far.

And you KNOW it's only going to get worse.

Remember what I said earlier about Ghetsis getting a pulpit he didn't deserve from the media? This is why I said it.

Just keep in mind what I mentioned, too. These people do not know the truth about Ghetsis as you and I do, so their minds are more open to the points he has to raise.

Regardless of that, though, if the media didn't afford him the chance to get Polaris's word out, Ghetsis would do it on foot like he does in the first BW games.

Dominic is awesome. I love how enthusiastic he always is.

He's basically an older Barry, I'd say.

At least Olivia is being more optimistic now. Good to see her feeling better.

She really was out of it because she was tired.

oh u Nekou

Matt walked right into that.

I feel so bad for Meowth right now.

If it helps at all, he doesn't even know anything is happening. He's essentially asleep.

I hate when the Unown render my maps obsolete.

Aren't they annoying enough when you actually know where you're going?

I really like how you've created science for Meteonite. It's the little touches and bits of research like this that make the story so fun to read.

Thank you.

Seduire terrifies me, and that's why I love her. Mercury's last line is really creepy, as well.

Both of them were being remarkably genuine in that scene. Everything they said they truly meant.

Hahaha, I love Earl already. He's quite the character.

I tried to keep him accurate to his game character, but I had to drop his verbal tic. If I didn't, he would have sounded exactly like Looker.

I always imagined it must be awkward for poor Matt to have to grow up in the shadow of his grandfather.

He actually doesn't mind it all that much, since he respects Sutter greatly.

Haha, Nekou, never change.

She won't. for now anyway

This whole scene caught me completely offguard and terrified me, and I love it for that. You really showed once again just how brutal and merciless Ghetsis is.

Exactly.

I love the idea of Ghetsis' cane as hiding a microphone.

It's capable of doing a lot of things, actually. You can tell from the games (when he uses it as an EMP signal jammer of some kind to block use of Poké Balls) that it has a lot of uses.

Once again, you show just how much Ghetsis is affecting the rest of the world very effectively.

Well, that one was just building on what was shown earlier, but thanks nevertheless.

Dominic really is an awesome dad. He's just adorable.

He'll do anything for his kids.

Perfect description and characterization in this passage. You really do present a complete picture of each of Dominic's kids.

I really wanted to make them each very distinct characters, instead of being simply different age/gender versions of the same character.

I am absolutely loving Helena. Disability representation in the Pokemon fandom is sadly very lacking, and you managed to portray Helena perfectly, showing her as empowered and in control of her life. You're doing a great job with her, and I'm happy to see a writer include disabled people in their work.

That lack of representation is something I wanted to address. And if you like Helena now, I assure you you'll like her even more later.


Amanda's just like that. I'm looking to work in some backstory about how Matt practically had to raise her even when he was young himself, so with that in account you really can understand why she loves him so much.

More awesome portrayals of disabled people- women, no less. I love it. Thanks for writing a story where disabled people are able to do things everyone else can do. There need to be more stories like that.

You're welcome. The Pokemon world finally started addressing the existence of different racial backgrounds this generation, but disabilities still haven't been seen. Like I alluded to earlier, that was something I wanted to incorporate into the story as a result.

Amanda keeps getting more badass.

And I'm not stopping there!

Nice flashbacks to your earlier work. Excellent way filling readers in.

That flashback was necessary to establish Amanda's character. Originally, as I mentioned before, there was going to be more backstory for her and Matt in this chapter but I couldn't fit it in.

Yes, I can tell already Olivia and Avril are going to get along great. Snivy is a perfect match for Avril, too.

With that kind of attitude, you bet a Pokemon like Snivy/Servine fits Avril.

Dominic really has a handful on his hands with Avril.

Yes, yes he does.

I really love how professional Amanda is, really. Even to her brother she won't discuss her matters as a teacher.

I wanted her to stand more as her own character separate from Matt than she had before.

The Matt vs Amanda battle is EXCELLENT. I really enjoyed the action and the descriptions, and you definitely threw me a curveball there with Hariyama's use of Role Play and the results of said move.

Thank you. As always, I try to make my battles as unique as I can.

ohhhhh crap. I didn't expect this coming at all, either. Things really took a turn for the worse.

Yes, yes they did.

OH ****. I did not expect this in the least. Good job.



It's chilling how they'll listen to Zinzolin.

He's the one who was leading the protest the whole time. Really, until now, he was just providing the spark to start the fire and not really guiding it.

As insane as Zinzolin's rants are, like Ghetsis, you can really see why people might latch on to them.

It's still Ghetsis's theme, Zinzolin is just spreading it around.

HELL YEAH. Amanda is a freakin' badass.

You bet she is.

Amanda is also the world's most awesome sister.

After everything Matt has done for her, of course she would be.


Zinzolin status: told

Zinzolin, you are a horrible person. Seriously, Zinzolin is terrifying just because he willingly goes after a teacher in front of her students in the name of his demented cause. Your villains in this are all pretty chilling as a whole, but then you get to people like Ghetsis and Zinzolin who just keep getting worse.

The thing is, it's not his cause at all. It's Ghetsis's and Polaris's. What you're seeing is someone who has willingly given up his free will out of devotion to something so much that he's willing to actually do this.

Hethna confirmed for sis-tier Heatran. I love how loyal Hethna is to do that to protect Amanda.

Minor correction: Hethna is Golurk, while Tanya is Heatran.

You can tell how frightened Zinzolin is from his reaction to losing. After what happened to Chaos earlier, I can't blame him.

Here's the terrifying part: he doesn't know about what happened to Chaos. This time.

urgh, they never give up, do they?

Well, really, the march on the school wasn't the point of the protest originally anyway.


I'm happy Nekou stepped in at this point. She's scary enough to try and get what she wants.

Oh, you better believe it. Notice how serious she got.

Badass. Man, this chapter's just full of badass ladies doing badass things, and I love it.

And every word she spoke was the truth.

This didn't make Zinzolin any less terrifying.

And all of his words were the truth, too.

I actually appreciate that Matt has to call off Nekou sometimes. I think it shows he can tell when it's best not to get into too much trouble and also in some ways that he's looking out for her at this point and doesn't want her wasting energy or starting trouble when it's not worth it.

That's accurate. It goes to show that she isn't always the dominant one in the group.

Avril and Olivia's fighting is adorable and endearing in a way. I really like how dynamic their relationship is.

I'm glad you like it.

The monk is endearing, in an odd way. I really love him. And Olivia and Avril trash talking each other is more cute.

Fun fact: At one point two of the Seven Sages were going to appear having moved into Sprout Tower.

Another fantastic recap, and it feels very natural.

Not really all that much of a recap, though, unless you mean the mention of why Amanda can walk now. The point of that part really essentially was "okay, we just encountered these people [Polaris] directly, what do we know about them?"

Poor Matt. I can really understand why he's having this breakdown- Reshiram is all he really wants to find, and even the suggestion it might be harder than it looks must really tear him up.

His entire life, he's learned that things you look for usually are located somewhere. The idea of something not having a fixed location, but instead depending upon the resolve of the person seeking it, does not fit at all with what he knows.

The scene of Nekou reading the journals is perfectly-handled horror. The final entry sent chills down my spine. Things sound average, even cheerful, until the **** really hits the fan. The backstory about the Tenganists was also fantastic and answered some questions while asking more.

I'm glad withholding details was a good idea. I had considered spelling out what happened to Saeko Oryo and revealing all the details, but that wouldn't be any fun.

I love them so much.

Olivia needed her Georgia - meaning, someone who is so much like her that they interact like two trains speeding into each other.

I agree, Olivia.

I don't think many don't agree.

Okay, I can totally see Jessie reacting this way. I think a lot of people forget she's very assertive and protective of those she cares about, and when her friends are in trouble she'll do whatever it takes to help them. Ariana having to call Jessie off is a nice touch- poor Zager didn't know what hit him.

Yeah, I really just thought that everyone was perfectly in character in this scene.

Poor, nervous Galvantula.

She doesn't like her peace getting disrupted.

I agree that Zager is definitely the kind who looks out for those he works with. He's the cool science grandpa, after all, and I'm happy you pointed this out.

Even if he doesn't personally like the people he's assigned to work with, I think he would watch out for them anyway if for no other reason than they're important assets.

Excellent imagery here. I love how atmospheric this scene is.

I bet you could visualize it perfectly, right?

[quoted]Oh crap, could it be?



IT IS! Nice last name, it works perfectly.[/quote]

Hinted at in an earlier chapter when Finansielle mentioned she was calling in an expert on Pokemon strength.

last name is there for a reason

I don't think I've ever hnnghed so hard reading a fanfic. That mental image is just too much for me. >:D

What better way for Colress to be smug than to use what he naturally has?

Fantastic chapter. The battles were all exciting and well-written, with excellent description of the attacks and their effects, the characters were all really well written as well, and this was definitely a thrilling chapter. Once again, keep up the excellent work.

Thank you!

Like the RChannel scene, thought it’s pretty neat Team Rocket created it. Heh some of the messages are fun.

There's more to it than just that, of course.

Moving the review ahead to the school scenes since this is where most of the plot in this chapter will be focused on (I think this is handled fine IMO by the way).

I'm glad to hear that. I was very worried about the whole thing coming completely off the rails after the issues it presented.

Heh, totally forgot about Amanda’s appearance back in Pokemon XD^3 until it’s briefly mentioned. It’s great to see her again, though.

Well, it's good I reminded you then, isn't it?

Thought it’s interest psychic Pokemon helped Helena able to speak normally while still deaf. Really shaking my head at Avril’s rudeness to Olivia there.

It was a way for Helena to maintain some semblance of dignity and independence despite her disability, as Dominic indicated.

As for Avril, she's the Alpha ***** of the school, and she just doesn't take kindly to someone showing up to steal her thunder (in her mind).

To be honest, I’m scratching my head as to why Amanda would misunderstand the “target that monster brainwashing these children” unless she didn’t catch Zinzolin saying “that monster”, which she should.

I have to be honest here: at first, the scene was written with Zinzolin actually attacking the students. After I wrote it, I realized that it didn't make any sense in the story for that to happen, since Polaris advocates freeing children from the system. I reworked everything I could from the scene, but that one part I just couldn't figure out how to fix. The best explanation I can give in-universe is that Amanda was overwhelmed with all the noise around her and simply couldn't process everything.

Other than that, the battle between Amanda and Zinzolin is enjoyable. Her Pokemon are forces not to be reckon with for sure, heh. Also good thing Matt’s Golurk saved her.

Let's just say that Zinzolin was way, way out of his league.

Sutter and Jacob’s entries I like a lot. Like Dawn said at first everything seems calm and peaceful until the last entry. Woah on the burning village. D:

You can probably guess that that book will come up again.

Favorite part of the part with Zager and TR since this shows a different take on him I like a lot.

Yeah, he's not in control there, which is a position that is unusual for him.

Hi Colress! XD His line at the very end of the chapter…oh my. :p

He definitely brought some serious stuff with him, that's for sure.

Overall another satisfactory chapter there! Looking forward to the next one!

Thank you! Hopefully the next chapter will not take as long to come out.
 

diamondpearl876

Well-Known Member
As you can see, this story has an R rating, which has been approved by Dragonfree after some rigorous testing. It will be tackling some darker material than what I usually do; among these subjects are cults, extremely unethical scientific experimentation, various types of discrimination, strongly implied sexual content and homelessness. In addition, war and mental illness may be touched on, there’s a plotline about a serial killer, and a plotline will have discussion of a character who was raped – before anyone jumps to conclusions about this just from reading that, I have literally put months of work and research into ensuring that the subject will be handled tastefully and respectfully, and I can promise that it is relevant, not simply included for edginess.

This sounds like my kind of fic already.

The young doctor, dressed sharply in an immaculate white lab coat, adjusted his glasses nervously as he surveyed the computers surrounding him. Many of the machines bore the same logo that was stitched onto the man’s breast pocket, a letter ‘P’ formed out of the red-and-yellow strands of a double helix.

All around him were monitors of the situation unfolding in an operating room directly linked to his lab. He was in charge of what was happening in the other room, and had to address the scientists under his command through a microphone affixed to the desk. Large machines, many of them at least the size of a refrigerator, were clustered in one portion of the lab, while a small kitchen unit sat opposite them. There was also a lounging area that consisted simply of an old, rotting bookcase, drab sofa and decrepit television set; on the wall right next to the bookcase was a framed document assigning a doctorate to the man, whose name was Gabriel Zager. A tiny yellow spider Pokémon, Joltik, skittered hyperactively around the room.

He knew the operation in the other room was going horribly simply from the barrage of noise coming back at him through the terminal’s speakers. The sounds of several men rushing about the room could be heard, but even louder than that were the alternating sounds of a woman screaming and then briefly gasping to try and catch her breath.

“Just keep at it, all of you,” the doctor said in an attempt to encourage his men, while nervously eyeing the screens monitoring the woman’s heart rate, blood pressure and temperature. “We’ve come too far now. There’s no turning back.”

You used “nervously” and “simply” very close together in just these few paragraphs. I’m sure that you can find a better way to portray these things than using the same word, no?

“Are you alright?!” This was a bad sign, and the doctor knew it. He had been assured that the team he was commanding was comprised of very well-trained scientific and medical professionals, so to see one of those very same people unable to handle their own job struck him deeply.

“It’s… it’s horrible...” The scientist was clearly deeply disturbed by what he had seen. He spoke in a shaking, terrified voice, and did not even turn to face his boss. “That thing is a monster… it’s parasitized the very fibers of her being… we never should have played God and done this…”

Same here with “deeply”.

I also want to add that I haven’t read your other reviews so sorry if I repeat anything. And I’m liking your dialogue a lot so far here.

The first of the two women to speak was the one with flowing purple hair. “When the vast white flame of truth burns out…” she said in a breathy, flat voice, “…and the deep black thunder of ideals dissipates into nothing…”

“That gray void of nothing…” her counterpart, distinguishable by her green ponytail, completed. “That is the Day of Reckoning.”

I really like these pieces of dialogue here. Very poetic and full of imagery.

“Watch it, Jeunes,” reproached the number-four executive, a woman whose nearly-full head and shoulder armor left her slightly-aged-looking nose and mouth areas as the only indications of her gender.

What about her voice?

His complacence was directly the reason why he did not notice the infiltrator who slipped into the museum.

And this is exactly why I could never work in a place like this at night… I’d be so scared…

Also like how you separated this one sentence from the other paragraphs. Adds a lot more suspense.

However, he was too slow to act, and when the power system shorted out, the museum went into automatic lockdown – which included the door in and out of his small room.

This guy should be fired, effective immediately.

Both were dressed in plain brown clothes, and the male half of the duo had blue hair of a moderate length. The only unusual characteristic between the two of them was the extremely long ponytail worn by the woman.

Yeah, because blue hair isn’t unusual or anything…

Outside, the building Jessie, James and Meowth lived in exploded in flames. All three of them gasped, and much to her frustration, Jessie’s Wobbuffet escaped from its ball to join the chorus of dismayed groans.

“What do you think you’re doing, you punk?!” Meowth screeched.

I think this portion could have been done better. This is, to me, a part that’s supposed to contribute to all the suspense that’s going on, but I’m not feeling it. First, the first sentence sounds really awkward. Try saying it out loud. The word “outside” seems misplaced because it indicates to me that only the outside of the house exploded. The two “in”s so close to each other also makes it hard to read. I had to read it a couple times to stop being confused. Also, there’s no other description here, and you’re very good at description, so I know you can describe more. I’ll leave the Wobbuffet thing alone since that’s just very likely to happen even in a not-funny situation LOL.

“Oh, he’s probably off jerking around somewhere, probably literally.” Nekou sighed and sipped her beer before adding, “Don’t worry about it. We’ll get some pizza and leave him out of it. **** him if he doesn’t want to hang out with us.”

God, I like Nekou already. Just saying.

Feeling a spike of sorrow, the man adjusted his glasses and brushed aside the lock of his shoulder-length blonde hair that hung over his right eye.

You seem to like pointing out hair/masks/whathaveyou that hangs out someone’s left or right eye(s). I wonder if that has any significance?

They were unable to leave until Nekou and Matt joined them, so they were conversing further between themselves.

I just wanted to point out that I like the name Matt… because every Matt I’ve ever met is a wonderful person. Woohoo.

I have to say that I am very intrigued by your prologue/chapter 1. You introduced an awful lot of information all at once, but not enough to deter me from the fic or make me think “oh god I’m going to have to struggle to remember all of this.” I hope to see more development in the future, which I am sure you will provide. I also liked where you ended each part of each introduction. It felt perfect in all places. I also like your descriptions, though it gets a bit wordy at times. You seem to like to describing every little thing, which isn’t exactly necessary. Focus on description that matters, descriptions of characters, description that adds to the current mood. My favorite part so far I think, though, is your dialogue. Very realistic on the girls’ part and very suspenseful (though a bit dramatic) on the scientists’ part.

Turning her frustrated anger on Matt, Olivia threw his hand away and yelled, “You’re not my dad, so don’t tell me what to do!”

Olivia sure has a lot of daddy issues…

“Please, Olivia, I ask that you give these two a chance,” requested Juniper. “They, along with the Grass-type Pokémon Snivy, are the starter Pokémon of the Unova Region. Tepig is a dependable partner who will ultimately evolve into the powerful Fire-and-Fighting-type Pokémon Emboar…” Tepig responded to Juniper’s praise by snorting enthusiastically, snorting out some small embers. “…while Oshawott fights with the shell on its stomach, and as it passes through evolutionary stages toward its ultimate form, Samurott, it first gains a second shell and then a pair of formidable shell swords.”

Oshawott kicks *** with his razor shell attack, Olivia. Just saying.

Also, I think the proper format for showing actions in between dialogue would be this:

“Tepig is a dependable partner who will ultimately evolve into the powerful Fire-and-Fighting-type Pokémon Emboar”—Tepig responded to Juniper’s praise by snorting enthusiastically, snorting out some small embers—“while Oshawott fights with the shell on its stomach, and as it passes through evolutionary stages toward its ultimate form, Samurott, it first gains a second shell and then a pair of formidable shell swords.”

“I guess,” she answered bitterly. “But don’t expect me to decide quickly. My starter Pokémon was supposed to be something that could stand right alongside me, Minccino and Roselia as we won badges and Ribbons, which would force my dad to notice me again. It was never supposed to start like this.”

I thought the whole idea was that she wanted a water-type pokémon. What’s wrong with Oshawott, then? Is she just being a baby? Seems like it.

Time had not been kind to Doctor Gabriel Zager.

You said something along the lines of “Time had not been kind to the researchers” or something in the first chapter. Seeing the same sentence is kind of jarring.

The other was a curvaceous woman in a white blouse and skirt, an outfit accented by bits of black around her neck, midsection and wrists as well as down at the end of the skirt, near her knee-high white boots. Her bright red hair stood out like a spotlight against the rather droll surroundings of the laboratory, and in her boredom, she was lounging in a chair next to a coffee table away from Zager’s work space, her feet up on a torn ottoman.

Just wanted to say that I like how you have at least one distinguishable feature per character appearance. It might help a lot since there seems to be a ton of characters I’ll have to keep track of.

“Ah, medicine you have to take with coffee instead of water. A miracle of modern science.”

Interesting. Wonder what medicine she’s taking? Must be important or you wouldn’t have taken the time to point it out.

However, she then remembered a trainer to whom she’d given a Snivy some years ago; at the time, he kept saying that he only wished to become stronger at any cost, but eventually, he learned to understand his Pokémon more and eventually became a respected Gym Leader in Unova.

Wonder if this is a reference to Cheren? Haha

Nekou opened her Poké Ball, releasing a Sneasel.

Senori doesn’t like you right now.

Olivia strode back to her battle position while eating the roll one bite at a time. She felt like things were happening incredibly fast – the day wasn’t even over yet, and she’d already met a professor, suffered a setback in her quest before it even began and received a substitute for the starter Pokémon she wanted. Now she was in her very first battle as an official trainer and halfway to fully winning it, and it excited her beyond her original goal of impressing her father. Winning, she was quickly coming to discover, felt good.

Sounds like a long day indeed. Question—why isn’t Olivia an official trainer already since she has Minccino and Roselia? Are trainers only official once they receive a starting pokémon from a professor or what?

Someone who should not exist has no right to consider themselves entitled to anything more than the air they are lucky enough to breathe! Now… Drowzee, leave port!”

She shouldn’t even exist? Geez, this guy’s harsh.

Second chapter was good too. I appreciated the retelling of events that I assume happened in your other fics. Even if it didn’t happen in your other fics it still brings your characters to life by giving them a past. I also like your battles, though I feel they’re lacking a bit in description. They remind me of the anime in the sense that there’s a ton more dramatic dialogue than needed. But I like the strategy you put into it and the fact that the cloaked guy kept saying Olivia reminded him of her father. I really can’t wait until she finds out he’s dead, as evil as that sounds. She’s going to go crazy.

God, just glancing over your past reviews, I hope that mine at least helped you out a little bit or told you something new. You have a great following for this fic so far, which tells you a lot. I’ll be back for more.
 
“You had him right in front of you and YOU LET HIM GO?!” Ghetsis picked Chaos up by the neck again, much like how he had done before throwing him, and slammed him into the barrier a second time. “That warped boy is key to my rise!”

Ghetsis Harmonia! I never knew you were that.... strong.

Whipping around, Ghetsis flung Chaos across the floor, leaving him in a crumpled heap. He then lurched over to the ninja and pinned the white-haired man’s head under the end of his cane

...and that violent... (well actually I can kinda believe that, just never pictured him)

Having breached the fence on the edge of the school’s property, the crowd of protesters who had been picketing Violet Gym earlier in the day advanced toward the battlefield. Leading them was a stout, elderly man wrapped in a thick purple coat whose heavy boots left deep footprints behind in the ground. At his side walked a Jynx and a Weavile, and Cryogonal soon joined them.

“Zinzolin…” Nekou quietly seethed, her voice not rising above a whisper.

Never really pictured him, with a jynx though. so he's the master of ice types in this world?

While he was not quite as eloquent as Ghetsis,

No one's as eloquent as Ghetsis... lol

“We will battle, then…” Amanda growled at the strangely-clothed old man, “…and when I defeat you, you will leave.”

is that a threat?

“Don’t count your Torchic before they hatch, girl.” Zinzolin had begun plucking more of his Poké Balls from the black bands wrapping around his coat. “I am not the right hand of Polaris’s spokesman for nothing!”

Not as good as Ghetsis but I CAN picture him making comebacks like this;

“Gladly! I’ll make you regret asking for it! Zoroark, use Flamethrower, and Arcanine, use Wild Charge!”

“Cryogonal, bring in Hail! Glalie, follow with Blizzard!”

Amanda’s Arcanine shrouded himself in sparking yellow electricity and forcefully tackled Empoleon, who made no effort to dodge. This was to buy time for Cryogonal, who was flying overhead, to cry out to the sky. That cry caused dark clouds to gather, which in turn soon gave rise to a steady hailstorm.

These conditions made it ideal for Glalie’s move, as the hailstorm gave greater range to his icy blast. Zoroark dropped her budding Flamethrower and instead formed a shield of glowing hexagons of light in front of herself. Despite this, Amanda’s other Pokémon still were subject to the harsh attack, but they all weathered it well, at least on an immediately apparent level.

Meanwhile, Nekou, Bunny and Olivia clustered even more tightly around Matt, who was shivering and beginning to lapse out of consciousness from the persistent cold.

“Don’t you black out on me!” Nekou yelled at him. “You can’t just let a little ****ing cold stop you!”

“Zoroark, stay over by big brother and use Protect to keep him from getting colder,” Amanda said, having heard Nekou’s shouting. Zoroark immediately followed this direction, freeing up Amanda’s attention so she could once again focus on the battle. “Snorlax, Heavy Slam! Vanilluxe, Signal Beam!”

“Don’t get overconfident! Jynx, use Sweet Kiss!”

A glowing light in the shape of a pair of lips emerged from Jynx’s face and washed over Amanda’s Snorlax as he stood, leaving him wobbling in confusion. He overcame it, though, and managed to leap high into the air. Alongside him, Amanda’s ice cream-like Vanilluxe gathered energy at the tip of her straw and fired a rainbow-colored beam from it.

Seeing these two attacks barreling toward his Pokémon, Zinzolin hastily ordered, “Weavile and Empoleon, block those with Blizzard and Drill Peck!”

Weavile opened her mouth and exhaled an icy gale right into the Signal Beam heading her way, while Empoleon leapt into the air while spinning rapidly, hoping to deflect Snorlax away from Jynx. Neither counter worked, however, and both Weavile and Empoleon were struck down. Snorlax then landed squarely on Jynx, crushing her under his immense weight. His weight, combined with the fact that Heavy Slam was a Steel-type move and thus super-effective on the partially Ice-type Jynx, left her completely unconscious when Snorlax rolled over off of her.

Zinzolin grunted, then recalled Jynx while Amanda called Snorlax back herself. “Well played, curious trainer. But, this is not yet over. It’s about time I showed you the true power Polar…”

“Gothitelle, attack Empoleon with Thunderbolt!” Amanda called out, interrupting Zinzolin’s attempt at a lecture.

“Goth-ii!” Gothitelle shrilled in her deep, womanly voice. Lightning shot out from her body and arced through the air, ultimately making contact with and electrocuting Empoleon. Due to the accidental damage Empoleon had suffered during his attempt at stopping Snorlax, he couldn’t weather Thunderbolt, and he collapsed.

“You were saying?” Amanda taunted a moment later.

“You will not stand in the way of progress, abomination!” fumed Zinzolin as he recalled a Pokémon for the second time in less than a minute. “It’s time I opened up another front in this battle,” he stated, turning his head to Amanda herself. “Cryogonal, Flash Cannon. Weavile, Glalie, use Blizzard. Vanillish, Ice Beam. All of you, target that monster brainwashing these children!”

Amanda immediately gasped in horror; this was what it took to finally cause her to panic. “You won’t hurt my students!!” she screamed, apparently misunderstanding Zinzolin’s intentions and not realizing that he was targeting her. “Arcanine, Hariyama, Gothitelle, Vanilluxe, stop them!”

Amanda’s Pokémon, however, were too slow to respond. Zinzolin’s four remaining Pokémon all powered up and released their attacks simultaneously in the blink of an eye.

Seeing the combined strength of two Blizzards, a Flash Cannon and an Ice Beam going towards their teacher, some of the students began fleeing while screaming in fear, while others froze up and didn’t know what to do. Dominic pulled Avril, Helena and Monroe close, intending to shield them himself if he had to.

Thankfully, it never came to that. Hethna lurched in between Amanda and Zinzolin’s assault, taking all the power infused in the four attacks itself. Hethna couldn’t stand up any longer after taking so many powerful hits at once, and wobbled back and forth briefly before falling forward, its front completely covered in ice.

Amanda’s Pokémon charged forward at their enemies, who were now left wide open. Hariyama attacked first by sending a barrage of jagged stones at Weavile. He then played a second use when Arcanine leaped off his head to gain the altitude necessary to hit Cryogonal with the blazing body slam of Flare Blitz. Glalie ended up the target of both Gothitelle and Vanilluxe, who double-teamed him using Psyshock and a red, pulsing Hyper Beam.

Okay...

that WAS a pretty awesome battle. Especially for a kid up against the sages.

When Zager started coughing, Ariana ordered, “Jessie, put him down now or I’ll have you written up for insubordination.”

She can do that? And yay~ Zager.

“Dr. Colress Antimony, as I live and breathe,” Polaris’s financier greeted him. “Welcome to the Adenosine Base. We shall help you finish your work on Pokémon strength here.”

“So you’re Finansielle, then?” Colress asked, twirling his finger through the long curl of blue hair that wrapped around his head. “I’m looking forward to getting to work. The key of the latent potential of Pokémon…”

“Did you bring those objects I requested?”

“Yes, I did.” Upon Finansielle’s request, Colress held up the briefcase he’d been carrying and opened it, revealing two sharp pins colored in stripes of blue, black and white preserved in orange fluid.

Immediately upon seeing them, Finansielle breathed heavily. “The DNA Splicers… finally, after so long, the key to Polaris’s promised world is finally in our possession…”

“I’ll be more than happy to help you reach that world, too. My expertise will be necessary to create the perfect DNA that we both seek.”

and Colress appears with the slicers. This is getting good.

But yeah, this is really good so far and I do apologize for the lack of commentary.
 

Morpher01

Bewear my power
Well, here we are. (side note: love the "restore auto-saved content" button. XD)

And, right off the bat, more fun times with Ghetsis. Is no one aware of what happened in Unova? Because I would think that Ghetsis' use of speeches to trick people would have been public knowledge by this point. Unless Polaris has more influence than I initially suspected...there's a disturbing thought.

“Olivia, you can’t think like that.” Matt tried to put on a strong face, masking his own unsettled emotions over the recent events. “Look, tomorrow you’re going for your first Badge, right? Focus on that. You finally made it to your first Gym.”

“Matt’s saying something smart this time,” Nekou added, putting some sarcasm in her words to lighten things up a bit. “I can tell you that Ghetsis is not a man worth listening to. I disgust myself even using the word ‘man’ to refer to a piece of **** like him.”

Have to agree with Nekou on the subject of our favorite Plasma head.

However, Olivia’s loud declaration attracted the attention of the Pokémon Center nurse, who had been standing nearby at her desk. She stepped over to the group and interrupted, “I’m sorry, but I overheard that you want to go to Violet Gym?”

“Yeah, why?” Olivia questioned.

“With our luck, she’s about to say it’s…”

“Sorry, but the Gym is closed right now. Nobody can get to it.”

“…I ****ing knew it,” Nekou finished her thought.

I see Nekou has a decent understanding of Murphy's Law. XD Also, the fact that people are protesting the Gym is kinda bad news. Have to say this for Ghetsis: he always did know how to deliver a convincing speech.

And Dominic returns. I'm still not sure about this guy, but after meeting his kids I may be wrong.

“Is that good old Dominic I hear?” The voice echoing down the hall was loud and rich, giving itself such strength that it shook the walls. A large man in a blue suit came bounding out into the lobby with heavy steps; his boisterous demeanor surprised all of Dominic’s guests. “Welcome back, my dear Dominic! I see you’ve brought guests, just as you said earlier!”

Oh, dear...this guy.

Didn't Earl Dervish wear a tutu in the anime, or does he only wear it when it is summoned by the power of anime gag physics? XD Been a while since I've seen that episode.

And then more Ghetsis. What else can be said about this guy? Nasty, cruel, downright insane...the list goes on.

The eldest of the three, Helena, towered over her siblings. She stood calmly by, running her hand through her red hair, not speaking at first.

It was then that Matt finally realized that Monroe was signing rapidly to her, communicating everything going on in a flurry of masterful hand motions.

“She’s deaf?” Bunny spoke, putting words to the feeling of surprise the group of four shared.

“Since birth.”

Each of Helena’s steps was slow and measured, carrying a dignified air. She directly approached Matt and extended a hand to him.

“I am honored to meet you, sir.”

The mere fact that Helena was able to speak was enough shock Matt still, but beyond that, her voice was surprisingly smooth and refined, capturing her ladylike demeanor perfectly. Matt eventually did manage to shake her hand, but his surprise didn’t wear off, and he directed a puzzled gaze over toward Dominic.

Understanding immediately what Matt was confused by, Dominic beckoned him over and quietly explained, “She didn’t want to let her disability stop her from speaking normally, so I got some Psychic-type Pokémon to help me teach her how. It wasn’t easy, and either Avril or Monroe signs for her when they can, but I’m very proud of her and all the work she did to overcome it.”

Hmm...have to wonder if there's more here than what we're seeing. I have a feeling that Helena's going to be important later, especially given her sister's new rivalry with Olivia.

Speaking of which...

Avril scoffed at the praise Olivia was heaping upon her brother. “If you think that thing is a good Pokémon, wait until you put your eyes on what I’ve got. Servine, go!”

Much like his trainer, the green, vaguely serpentine Pokémon that emerged from Avril’s Poké Ball had a haughty, arrogant air about himself. Balancing on tiny legs, he stretched his body to its full height and cast a scornful look downward upon Klink and Vanillite.

“Servine, the Grass Snake Pokémon. Type is Grass. Evolved form of Snivy, When it gets dirty, its leaves can't be used in photosynthesis, so it always keeps itself clean.”

“Wait a minute…” Remembering something, Olivia hesitated. “Snivy was one of the three Pokémon Professor Juniper said she could offer me, but it specifically was missing. Are you the one who got Snivy?”

“The one and only.” Putting her hands on her hips, Avril leaned forward and smugly asked, “Did you get stuck with one of those inferior ones that were left?”

“He is not inferior!”

“Then let’s see him.”

Without a second thought, Olivia pressed the button to open Oshawott’s Poké Ball. He materialized looking sleepy and still missing his shell, prompting both Avril and her Servine to laugh.

“Wow, you didn’t even take the good one,” she taunted, “but then again, someone who’s childish in both body and spirit taking a childish Pokémon makes sense!”

“Avril!” Dominic snapped, showing a seriousness that he hadn’t before. “Behave yourself!”

“Fine, fine. But let me ask one thing. What happened to its shell?”

“It got broken in a battle with a Gurdurr yesterday.”

Avril managed to suppress another outburst of laughing into little more than a snicker, and she walked toward the door with Servine. “You better pay attention outside and learn something, because you’re gonna need it.”

And of course Snivy goes to the utter snob. XD Avril's going to be one worth watching, I can tell.

I have a sudden urge to create a Tepig trainer, now...as if I didn't have enough characters already. XD

“Please, accept my apologies,” Dominic hurriedly said as he too went for the door. “I’ll deal with her.”

“Is she always like this?” Matt questioned once Dominic was out the door.

“It wouldn’t be proper of me to discuss that in front of so many people,” Amanda replied.

And this is why I said that Avril would be one to watch. Amanda's line here doesn't just indicate how well she goes about her job, it may actually be hinting at some deeper issues that Avril may have which cause her to act the way she does.

...or, then again, I could just be reading a little TOO deeply into this. XD Maybe I should just save that for when we meet Renzo again.

Moving on, Matt and Amanda's battle was quite well-done. Interesting tactic Amanda's Hariyama used to beat Tanya, and Arcanine's use of Close Combat was a decent surprise move.

And then comes Zinzolin. Amanda VS Zinzolin was satisfyingly intense, although I have to wonder one thing.

“You will not stand in the way of progress, abomination!” fumed Zinzolin as he recalled a Pokémon for the second time in less than a minute. “It’s time I opened up another front in this battle,” he stated, turning his head to Amanda herself. “Cryogonal, Flash Cannon. Weavile, Glalie, use Blizzard. Vanillish, Ice Beam. All of you, target that monster brainwashing these children!”

Amanda immediately gasped in horror; this was what it took to finally cause her to panic. “You won’t hurt my students!!” she screamed, apparently misunderstanding Zinzolin’s intentions and not realizing that he was targeting her. “Arcanine, Hariyama, Gothitelle, Vanilluxe, stop them!”

...how did she misunderstand Zinzolin's intentions? He pretty much blared out that he wanted to kill HER, not necessarily the students. Not really a major flub or anything, just...a little odd.

Next, Olivia and Avril at Sprout Tower.

“I shouldn’t have expected a kid like you to know,” Avril scoffed. “They won’t let you challenge the Violet Gym in the first place unless you get approval from the Elder here.”

“And I suppose that’s why you’re here, because you already got permission?” Olivia’s sarcastic taunt was said with full realization that Avril actually hadn’t done so either.

Briefly at a loss for words, Avril hissed back, “I’m more than you’ll ever be, wait and watch. Have your laughs while you can.”

“Oh, whatever. Let’s go.”

“Greetings,” a bald-headed monk wearing a black robe said to the two young women as they entered the pagoda. “Welcome to Sprout Tower. Please state your purpose.”

“I want permission to battle Falkner!” Avril demanded.

“Hey, me too!” Olivia added.

“Very well. If you wish to earn our Elder’s permission to battle Falkner, you must reach him on the third floor of our temple. Each of you, take one of the flights of stairs in the back of this chamber. On the above floor you will find a series of chambers where the monks here will test your worthiness for an audience with the Elder. May the gentle luck of the Bellsprout be with you both.”

“I’m going to get up there and win before you even come close,” Avril boasted, putting her hands on her hips.

“As if! I’ll leave you in the dust!”

“You’re on, washboard!”

Ah, the glory of interactions between rivals. Love both reading and writing about it. XD

Nekou was watching Matt, Amanda and Bunny verbally spar over the Light Stone and Reshiram from a vantage point that mostly obscured her behind a bookcase. She was waiting for when she felt comfortable that they would not notice what she was doing.

Several minutes passed before that feeling finally came. Nekou slid into the narrow aisle defined by the bookcases and removed her glasses, tossing them into a nearby garbage bin with a sharp flick of her wrist. She then took out a new pair that was more rectangular in shape with frames that didn’t cover the tops of the lenses, put them on, and tapped the left-hand stem. This activated a computer built into the glasses, and she used them to scan the shelves.

“Where are you…” she uttered to herself. There was one particular book she wanted to find, and all of her attention was focused on locating it. After covering several rows of books, a signal on her computer glasses flashed. “Well, that wasn’t so hard.”

Nekou switched off her glasses and pulled the book from its place on the shelf. It was not particularly thick, but she knew that it was nevertheless important despite its size.

“A Documentation of Ancient Cultures and Peoples,” she read off the book’s heavy brown cover, “by Sutter Chiaki and Jacob Alexison.”

When her eyes glanced down to the last entry, Nekou’s blood ran cold. It was written in a different style than the others, coming across as panicked and terrified.

“December 8, 1953 – It’s a disaster… the village elders decided to exile Jacob and I, and Saeko was sentenced to burn at the stake as a witch. But it’s not that simple. She tried to run. She ran, and in her desperation, she swallowed that little stone they hid away in the village, and now it’s burning and everyone is dead. Should anyone read this in the future, let it be a warning to you. Stay away from that accursed thing… that Jewel of Life… all it brings is despair! It is cursed! We should never have searched for it in the first place!”

Rattled, Nekou closed the book, tucked it under her arm, and quietly headed to leave the library. “This changes things,” she thought to herself. “I have to find out more about what this means...”

THE PLOT THICKENS! XD Heh, always wanted to say that. Seriously, though, have to wonder what Nekou's up to. Is she doing this for Matt's benefit, or for someone else's...?

“I am. My name is Li, and I welcome you to the Sprout Tower! What have you learned from your training here? I would like the two of you to reflect on that. Since you came here, you must wish to challenge Falkner. I’m the final test before Violet Gym for the two of you. Which one of you will go first?”

“I will!” Avril loudly declared, pushing Olivia aside.

“You’re clearly very eager. What is your name, girl?”

“Avril! And I’m going to be the Champion!”

Li smiled under his thick white moustache. “Very well, Avril, I accept your challenge. Go, Bellsprout!”

As soon as the Bellsprout emerged from Li’s Poké Ball, Avril took out and threw her own, a variant with a green top. The Nest Ball burst open, revealing a small, dinosaur-like Pokémon with a stout blue body and black fur growing on its neck and head.

“That Pokémon is so cute!” Olivia squealed as she scanned the growling creature.

“Deino, the Irate Pokémon. Type is Dark/Dragon. Lacking sight, it's unaware of its surroundings, so it bumps into things and eats anything that moves.”

“Yeah, none of your Pokémon can measure up to her,” Avril snidely boasted regarding Deino. “Deino, open strong. Use Work Up!”

“A wise tactic. I think I shall copy it. Bellsprout, Growth!”

Hmm...I wouldn't think one would find a Deino in the vicinity of Violet City. Have to wonder where she caught it.

Jessie didn’t let go of Zager as much as she simply dropped him, and he came close to falling down once he landed. She then fumed back over to rejoin James and Ariana. Meanwhile, Galvantula was hiding under the laboratory table.

“Explain what you’re saying,” the doctor demanded.

“The Team Plasma members who are in Polaris attacked us and we got into a fight with them. During the battle the Meteonite became destabilized, and when Meowth touched it, it changed him. Ariana came to take Jessie and I to you before things got any worse.”

“So help us, Doctor!” Jessie added.

“I’m…” It was difficult for Zager to accept what he was being told. Beneath his occasionally gruff demeanor, he did genuinely care about those under his command, so he felt a strong desire to get Meowth back as well. On the other hand, though, he knew far more than Jessie, James or even Ariana just how hard defeating Polaris would be. “I’m afraid I can’t do anything right now but contact the boss for help. Do you have the R-Pad?”

“Right here,” Jessie said as she held the computer up.

“Then we shall get to the data analysis right away.” Zager narrowed his eyes, and his face became darker. “What could Polaris actually be planning?”

I like how Zager is shown as caring about his underlings, rather than just being the mustache-twirling mad scientist the anime generally showed him as being. Expansion of canon is always great when done right.

Polaris’s Adenosine Base stood in the Johto ocean like a massive iron monolith supported by legs on four small islands. The brisk sea breeze blew over the structure as it sat under the bright moonlight.

On one of the four islands, a vast landing area was set up. Several scientists were there, as was Finansielle, the winds blowing the sheer cape running down from her armor to cover the nightgown she wore underneath.

Soon, a large, military-grade helicopter came from over the surface of the sea and settled into hovering over the ring of lights on the landing pad. Its pilot carefully guided the craft downward, landing with little fuss.

A staircase emerged from the side of the chopper and descended in front of Finansielle and the scientists. The cabin door opened, and a blonde, bespectacled man in a flowing white lab coat stepped out. He walked calmly down the stairs and only stopped once he was face-to-face with Finansielle.

Dr. Colress Antimony, as I live and breathe,” Polaris’s financier greeted him. “Welcome to the Adenosine Base. We shall help you finish your work on Pokémon strength here.”

....COLRESS! YESSSS! XD

As you know, I freaking love this guy, and I'm happy to see him here. I already can't wait for him to enter a battle so I can start playing his awesome music as I read. XD

“So you’re Finansielle, then?” Colress asked, twirling his finger through the long curl of blue hair that wrapped around his head. “I’m looking forward to getting to work. The key of the latent potential of Pokémon…”

“Did you bring those objects I requested?”

“Yes, I did.” Upon Finansielle’s request, Colress held up the briefcase he’d been carrying and opened it, revealing two sharp pins colored in stripes of blue, black and white preserved in orange fluid.

Immediately upon seeing them, Finansielle breathed heavily. “The DNA Splicers… finally, after so long, the key to Polaris’s promised world is finally in our possession…”

“I’ll be more than happy to help you reach that world, too. My expertise will be necessary to create the perfect DNA that we both seek.”

How did I know he would be working with the villians. How did I freaking know that he would ally with the WORST POSSIBLE PEOPLE just to get what he wants. That's very in his character though, and even if it was a little predictable, it's still good to have. And his bringing in the DNA Splicers can only mean problems.

More fun times shall follow, I can tell. Avril is here, Nekou's got something going on, and of course COLRESS HAS ARRIVED! Can't wait to see what happens next!
 

diamondpearl876

Well-Known Member
chapter 3

“Oh, be quiet!” his hot-tempered female companion snapped back. “The boss wouldn’t have selected us for this mission if he didn’t trust us to get it done.”
Man, I don’t know why Giovanni trusts them to do anything at all.

Having reached into her blouse and produced a Poké Ball, Nekou opened it to free her Zorua.
That’s an interesting place to keep her pokéballs.
Shaking off the small amount of injury she’d received – which amounted to little more than being shaken up at most – Zorua barked and flipped over in the air, drilling downward until she disappeared beneath the ground.
Seems redundant to say there was a “small amount of damage” and then “it amounted to little to…” It’s even more jarring when you use “shaking/shaken” so close together.

Little did they realize they were being watched. At least a dozen pairs of yellow eyes glistened in the darkness within the foliage just off the main road, carefully observing the movements of the new invaders in their territory. Behind them, a single pair of larger, triangular white eyes watched as well.
That’s not creepy at all.

Jessie, James and Meowth had moved south, just as Pierce had directed them, and now had a makeshift encampment set up in the woods just off of Route 29.
They’re all around the same place. Wonder if they’ll run into each other? Would be interesting.

He hastily raised up his arms to protect himself, resulting in a loud crashing sound when Bisharp’s steel blades hit the metal of his prosthetic limbs.
Seems redundant to say “raised up” when raised automatically means “up”. You tend to do things like this a lot. You should try to be as concise as possible and as clear as possible, unless redundancy is important.
“I’d like to take you apart,” Nekou wryly commented at the exact moment Matt finished speaking. “Your insides sound fascinating.”
Exactly what I was thinking. Always have found multiple personality disorder fascinating, too, so I’ll be interested to see if Janus happens to show up ever again.
Nekou did not have much of a visible reaction to Dante’s warning, but Matt noticeably shrunk back and tensed up. He didn’t need any reminders of how difficult or risky his goal was, and even though Dante meant well, the comments he’d made only served to unnerve Matt even further.
Matt seems to be incredibly bold and incredibly nervous-like all at the same time. It’s an interesting combination. I like it.

“Let’s dig in!” Meowth added. “Before a big mission, a big meal does the trick!”
Yes, I just ate before tackling the next monstrously large 2 chapters. I agree with Meowth entirely. edit: only doing this 1 since next 2 are in parts

All I have to say is that chapter 3 was very action packed and crazy. I think you have quite a knack for alternative POVs, and you are very good at deciding the right times for when it’s appropriate. So kudos on that. I think my favorite part was also the talk between Matt and Nekou. It was very heartwarming and deep. I’d like to see their relationship delve a bit farther. And it tells a lot about Nekou’s character seeing that she’s getting so drunk so often; I wonder why that is. What exactly have they all seen? It makes me wish I had read your other fics.

The scene where the Bisharp/Pawniard also attacked was very intense, though I think it could have been better if… well, if you have written it better. You are very good at description and such, so that’s not a problem, but when it comes to describing battles, it seems like you lose the very fast-paced and suspenseful feeling that I feel I should get when reading a battle. Your style of writing seems to slow everything down. I would argue that you should try to make your writing style more battle-oriented during battles… Shorter, intense sentences, and not drawn out explanations of what’s happening bit by bit. Only describe what’s important. I’m not very good at battles myself so I’m not sure what else to say, but it was something I thought I’d touch on anyway.

I’d also watch out for making too many bad things happen to your characters at once. Not only will that have a crazy psychological impact on your characters when the time comes that they actually need to act rationally and calmly, it just risks you making look desperate to try to make your characters look more… tragic. You have a lot going on, but you can’t make it seem like TOO much, you know?
 

The Great Butler

Hush, keep it down
Well, it sure looks like I've got quite a bit to respond to. I'm going to get diamondpearl876's two posts first, then make a second post to reply to Gothitelle K and Morpher's reviews.

This sounds like my kind of fic already.

I'll admit, I was rather nervous that you'd be turned off right away by seeing all of that.

You used “nervously” and “simply” very close together in just these few paragraphs. I’m sure that you can find a better way to portray these things than using the same word, no?



Same here with “deeply”.

I see what you mean.

I also want to add that I haven’t read your other reviews so sorry if I repeat anything. And I’m liking your dialogue a lot so far here.

It's fine, though if you don't mind, I'm going to avoid repeating myself by not replying to all of the word choice-related ones. I'll reply to your larger point about the description at the end.

Thank you for the compliment on the dialogue.

I really like these pieces of dialogue here. Very poetic and full of imagery.

I really had a vivid picture in my head of how that scene would play out, so I like how it ended up.

What about her voice?

...that's a really stupid oversight on my part. Looking at it now, I don't even know how I messed that up.

And this is exactly why I could never work in a place like this at night… I’d be so scared…

Who knows, maybe I'll decide to revisit the Pewter Museum much later.

Also like how you separated this one sentence from the other paragraphs. Adds a lot more suspense.

I felt it added a bit of emphasis, and I'm pleased to see that it appears to have worked.

This guy should be fired, effective immediately.

I'll admit, I was kind of going for a darkly comedic angle with him.

Yeah, because blue hair isn’t unusual or anything…

Not in this world it isn't.

I think this portion could have been done better. This is, to me, a part that’s supposed to contribute to all the suspense that’s going on, but I’m not feeling it. First, the first sentence sounds really awkward. Try saying it out loud. The word “outside” seems misplaced because it indicates to me that only the outside of the house exploded. The two “in”s so close to each other also makes it hard to read. I had to read it a couple times to stop being confused. Also, there’s no other description here, and you’re very good at description, so I know you can describe more. I’ll leave the Wobbuffet thing alone since that’s just very likely to happen even in a not-funny situation LOL.

Yeah, the way that scene came out isn't my proudest moment, I'll admit. Sometimes you just get something where no matter how hard you try, it just doesn't come out quite right.

Wobbuffet here was intended to be another darkly comedic moment.

God, I like Nekou already. Just saying.

Oh boy, you know not what you are in for.

You seem to like pointing out hair/masks/whathaveyou that hangs out someone’s left or right eye(s). I wonder if that has any significance?

The masks worn by the Sacred Helix of Polaris do have significance. The rest is coincidental.

I just wanted to point out that I like the name Matt… because every Matt I’ve ever met is a wonderful person. Woohoo.

Interesting.

I have to say that I am very intrigued by your prologue/chapter 1. You introduced an awful lot of information all at once, but not enough to deter me from the fic or make me think “oh god I’m going to have to struggle to remember all of this.” I hope to see more development in the future, which I am sure you will provide. I also liked where you ended each part of each introduction. It felt perfect in all places. I also like your descriptions, though it gets a bit wordy at times. You seem to like to describing every little thing, which isn’t exactly necessary. Focus on description that matters, descriptions of characters, description that adds to the current mood. My favorite part so far I think, though, is your dialogue. Very realistic on the girls’ part and very suspenseful (though a bit dramatic) on the scientists’ part.

I think I'll address the description issue more as we go on, but right here in response to this, I want to admit I'm probably overcompensating. My descriptions used to be so bare-bones that they literally meant nothing, and I swore I'd stop doing that.

I'm glad to hear that you think the introductions were effective.

Olivia sure has a lot of daddy issues…

Yeah, she does. Those issues aren't going to help at all either.

Oshawott kicks *** with his razor shell attack, Olivia. Just saying.

She'll come to know that. Eventually.

Also, I think the proper format for showing actions in between dialogue would be this:

“Tepig is a dependable partner who will ultimately evolve into the powerful Fire-and-Fighting-type Pokémon Emboar”—Tepig responded to Juniper’s praise by snorting enthusiastically, snorting out some small embers—“while Oshawott fights with the shell on its stomach, and as it passes through evolutionary stages toward its ultimate form, Samurott, it first gains a second shell and then a pair of formidable shell swords.”

I can see what you mean here, though I have to admit, I don't think I would have thought of it on my own.

I thought the whole idea was that she wanted a water-type pokémon. What’s wrong with Oshawott, then? Is she just being a baby? Seems like it.

She really is just being a baby, but in her mind, she's upset because she had a very particular plan in mind for how it all was going to go and it got disrupted.

Some have guessed before that Olivia isn't entirely all that well, and I think I would agree with that.

You said something along the lines of “Time had not been kind to the researchers” or something in the first chapter. Seeing the same sentence is kind of jarring.

Here's something else that I'll probably find more to say about later on, but I admit that finding words to keep my language diverse is something that I have difficulty with, even outside of writing. I'm working on trying to fix it.

Just wanted to say that I like how you have at least one distinguishable feature per character appearance. It might help a lot since there seems to be a ton of characters I’ll have to keep track of.

I think this is something you can expect in general. The characters all will hopefully stand out as their own unique selves.

Interesting. Wonder what medicine she’s taking? Must be important or you wouldn’t have taken the time to point it out.

You're right.

I'll say nothing more.

Wonder if this is a reference to Cheren? Haha

Yes, it is actually.

Senori doesn’t like you right now.

Considering where they are right now, that's a particularly keen observation...

Sounds like a long day indeed. Question—why isn’t Olivia an official trainer already since she has Minccino and Roselia? Are trainers only official once they receive a starting pokémon from a professor or what?

Yes and no. While anyone with a Pokemon of their own can be a trainer, going through the formalities of getting a starter and a Pokedex from a professor is generally considered a rite of passage, plus it affords financial benefits that you'll come to find out about quite soon. It's better if I let you see those play out instead of trying to explain the entire system all at once, I think.

She shouldn’t even exist? Geez, this guy’s harsh.

He has his reasons. He has his reasons.

Second chapter was good too. I appreciated the retelling of events that I assume happened in your other fics. Even if it didn’t happen in your other fics it still brings your characters to life by giving them a past. I also like your battles, though I feel they’re lacking a bit in description. They remind me of the anime in the sense that there’s a ton more dramatic dialogue than needed. But I like the strategy you put into it and the fact that the cloaked guy kept saying Olivia reminded him of her father. I really can’t wait until she finds out he’s dead, as evil as that sounds. She’s going to go crazy.

One thing about the battles is that additional text is necessary when using a written medium, I feel, because you don't have the luxury of visuals to easily convey what is going on. I agree that streamlining the description (as you've alluded to both before and after this individual point) would be beneficial, though.

You're right to look forward to how Olivia will take it.

God, just glancing over your past reviews, I hope that mine at least helped you out a little bit or told you something new. You have a great following for this fic so far, which tells you a lot. I’ll be back for more.

Oh, don't worry at all. Every review has something to contribute, and you did a really good job. ^^

I'll edit in the second of your posts and get to the other replies tomorrow.

EDIT:

Man, I don’t know why Giovanni trusts them to do anything at all.

He's short on manpower right now... and they did do a pretty good job annoying Team Plasma for him.

That’s an interesting place to keep her pokéballs.

She's very practical-minded when it comes to things like that - anywhere or anything that she can use to her own convenience, she will.

Seems redundant to say there was a “small amount of damage” and then “it amounted to little to…” It’s even more jarring when you use “shaking/shaken” so close together.

Good point. Like I've mentioned before, wording issues are a significant challenge for me, so pointing them out is always helpful.

Exactly what I was thinking. Always have found multiple personality disorder fascinating, too, so I’ll be interested to see if Janus happens to show up ever again.

Oh, he will, but not entirely in the sense you might be thinking.

Matt seems to be incredibly bold and incredibly nervous-like all at the same time. It’s an interesting combination. I like it.

He gets bouts of boldness that eventually sputter out, because most of it is just a front of bravado he puts on so things get done. He's not the most comfortable person with showing himself outwardly all the time.

His personality being unbalanced is a natural outcome of having certain parts of it messed with.

All I have to say is that chapter 3 was very action packed and crazy. I think you have quite a knack for alternative POVs, and you are very good at deciding the right times for when it’s appropriate. So kudos on that.

Thank you! I'm not especially fond of scene cutting from one scene involving certain characters to another scene involving the same characters, so when I can, I try to play out an entire scene involving one set of characters and then use a scene involving another character or characters to add a little variety before going on to the next scene with the first set of characters. It's especially helpful with villains, because it makes it possible to show small scenes involving the villains' movements and plans so they can be developed slowly instead of having to be infodumped whenever they make a major move.

I think my favorite part was also the talk between Matt and Nekou. It was very heartwarming and deep. I’d like to see their relationship delve a bit farther.

And your wish shall be granted.

I really do love writing them together, because they're so opposite and yet so very much alike at the same time that their interactions just seem to click. I've definitely got some things planned for the future that ought to work out.

And it tells a lot about Nekou’s character seeing that she’s getting so drunk so often; I wonder why that is. What exactly have they all seen? It makes me wish I had read your other fics.

On some level, she does it just because she simply likes doing it, but there definitely are some deeper underlying reasons that I can't get into too much right now.

The previous two stories she was in do have some overarching narrative, but their actual plots were largely stand-alone, so you haven't missed much in terms of importance, I think. Most if not all of the stuff they've seen that's important here will be brought up here.

The scene where the Bisharp/Pawniard also attacked was very intense, though I think it could have been better if… well, if you have written it better. You are very good at description and such, so that’s not a problem, but when it comes to describing battles, it seems like you lose the very fast-paced and suspenseful feeling that I feel I should get when reading a battle. Your style of writing seems to slow everything down. I would argue that you should try to make your writing style more battle-oriented during battles… Shorter, intense sentences, and not drawn out explanations of what’s happening bit by bit. Only describe what’s important. I’m not very good at battles myself so I’m not sure what else to say, but it was something I thought I’d touch on anyway.

I understand everything about what you're saying. I don't want to slip back into my old bad habit of not describing enough, but just coincidentally enough, I've got a battle coming up that I'll try to incorporate some of your suggestions into.

I’d also watch out for making too many bad things happen to your characters at once. Not only will that have a crazy psychological impact on your characters when the time comes that they actually need to act rationally and calmly, it just risks you making look desperate to try to make your characters look more… tragic. You have a lot going on, but you can’t make it seem like TOO much, you know?

I think this may actually be because the first chapters are more heavily focused on this main group of characters, thus leading to more about them coming up in a shorter amount of time. Going forward, the focus should balance out.

Thank you for your reviews so far, and I hope you'll enjoy it going forward!
 
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