So, Dawn is training outdoors. Fun, I'm sure. Everybody attacking randomly doesn't seem so good, really. And then Team Boring show up! Zoey and Dawn talk for a while. I can't be bothered to listen. Zoey is booooring.
Team Rocket are gorging themselves at the buffet! Well, everyone except 'jessilina,' who says... stuff. Then we cut to the twerps in the waiting room, and who shows up but Ursula and Gabite! She's pissing everyone off, except for the Emotionless Brock. But we love her anyway.
Lots of talking from the Announcer Woman. I forget her name, too. Why no second appeal round? I feel cheated out of water and ice. Next eight to battle are... six random people and Ursula and Dawn! Gee, I didn't see that coming. Rockets are selling merchandise again. Ursula picture <3. Want.
Darn, those are some cool Seals. And it's... Mamoswine and Pachirisu VS. Gabite and Flareon! How exciting. We'll never see poor dear Jiggles and Wormadam again. This makes me upset. Fantina falls in love. Team Boring are talking again. I. Want. To. Shoot. Them. Ursula VS Dawn should be the finals, nagdabbit.
Wow! For once, Electric-type moves do not affect Ground-types! Put this in your diaries, kids. What a cool move- electrically charged Mamoswine charging at the opposition! Gee, that must've hurt! And the lifebar moves once again. I hate it. So bloody erratic. Sit down, Fantina, for Pete's sake. There's enthusiasm, and then there's you.
But Ursula fights back with a Sandstorm!... Or is it Sand Tomb? I can never tell the difference. Pachirisu is blown away. The music is cool. That was reeeally cool. Amazing Scary Face. I love Flareon. Note to self: use one in next Diamond playthrough. And then... Dawn tells Mamoswine to snap out of it, just to be trapped in a Double Team! And then Flareon Shadow Balls'em away.
Another Double Team trap! And Dawn falls for it again! Blimey, Mamoswine is a strong defender. Things seem like they may improve- but Flareon Fire Spins it all away. And then Gabite's Dragon Claw tears up Pachirisu. Random TR talking...
Back to the battle! Dawn's side is tired while Ursula's have barely broken a sweat. Then- Ursula gets caught offguard and Pachirisu slams into Flareon. And now... more bloody ice. It just looks the same as Buneary and Cyndaquil. Team Boring are talking. Shut up. But this time the function is different! Rolling balls of doom attack Gabite and Flareon! Well, ball. But more great tactics- Gabite and Flareon jump down a hole! Then they jump out! And attack! With Shadow Ball! Wow! Exclamation!
Not very varied tactics, but I suppose Shadow Ball is Ursula's quickest hit-and-run move. The points are very different- a loss is the conclusion for Dawn, surely? Now they use the holes against Ursula! The tables have turned! Pachirisu is now a rolling doomball again, and it's supersped up by Ice Shard! Bang. Gabite and Flareon are down, so no matter what, Ursula now loses with seven seconds left!
And now we say goodbye. Goddammit Ursula, you were Dawn's best rival. Definitely the fandom's favourite. Now we see Team Boring in their battles! How delightfully watery and grassy, as per usual. Yaaaawwwwnnnnn. But Jessie wins her battle, and that's the main thing.
Welll... At least Dawn didn't sweep Ursula. Instead, Ursula used her best tactics yet for the perfect sendoff. Nobody pretend- we all know she's gone now. But she was the best character to come out of DP, definitely. Gabite and Flareon were in perfect synch and made for quite the threat to Dawn. If only she hadn't tired them out with all that Digging and Shadow Balling, maybe she could've stalled for seven more seconds and won. Who knows?