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Overdose - PG-13

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Zephyr Flare, Nov 20, 2008.

  1. Zephyr Flare

    Zephyr Flare /pose

    Is it?

    Can it be?

    Overdose is finally being posted?!

    But ya finally got the bloody Prologue done. It's a bit of an oddball this, it's in the same universe as RT but before, after, same time? Unknown or at least I won't say. Events may be refered to in both, something might be explained in one sooner than the other. It's not essential to read both but for the curious, RT is in my signature.

    I do admit, the Prologue is full of philosophical BS (I do have a tedency to get on the subject sometimes as it does interest me) and though it might not seem like it, it's very plot relevent and possibly to the title also... But you might not realise why for a while yet.

    Oh and there's a pretty blatant hint of what this fic is based on but bet people won't realise that either less they spotted that RP I started aha.

    But regardless, this first bit is rather personal and just something to think about before the real thing gets kicking. Just as the following is.

    A man without a dream lacks a soul to live with, a humble shell that instead just exists.


    Prologue - Genesis​

    I dream of a little dream, one I may call my own that nobody else can see.
    I dream of a place, a world I shall keep locked in my head as a memory.
    I dream of who I want to be, those I will meet, what I shall do and I will never tell a soul.
    I dream of where all my wishes may come true if I just believe strongly enough.

    I just dream of a little dream where they I will be preserved forever more.


    It’s a curious concept this world of dreams. They are alluded to be hopes of the future, visions garnered in sleep, a goalpost set personally to achieve. Stretching from wishful thinking to a potential reality of many that is just waiting to be grasped with both hands.

    A blind man may dream of being able to see their loved ones one last time. It’d be seen as an honest desire that anybody would grant if they have a sense of morality at their fingertips.

    A child may dream of a world filled with chocolate and sweets galore. Somewhat foolish to an adult, but it’s of this gleeful innocence of the simple things it has to be respected and perhaps even envied a little.

    A woman may dream of finding “the one” amongst the crowd, an achievable goal with patience and a lot of searching… It just needs time so that one-day she will find where she believes her own happiness lies.

    Man dreams to fly, to extend their horizons beyond the stars, to dive beneath the waves. A largely shared dream driven by a need to explore and jealously of mere creatures doing what they themselves cannot without assistance.

    Perhaps a selfish dream, perhaps not.

    But there are more dangerous dreams in the minds of mortal, those who crave power, flirt with death and desire destruction. They imagine worlds where they rule and torment those they believe have sidelined them with some minor detail in the past.

    Often, masks of sanity are used to hide the darker desires that these people harbour to hide and blend with the common man on the street. Perhaps afraid of their own thoughts and simply want to contain the horrors somewhere that only images are put up for slaughter, not souls.

    Some however do not share the same morality and feel satisfied to allow the world to suffer under their teetering balance towards oblivion in personal insanity. They are blatant with this devastation and flaunt it like new clothes superior to all those around them and convince themselves that they have a right to reap.

    Fortunately, this type is often caught… But often not before the dreaming world blends with reality in a sick headhunting game, spreading their plague wherever they go where they decide to judge life it’s self.

    Then, there are the waking dreamers. A rarity admittedly but these are the ones of great intelligence wrapped in an honest body you could not suspect. They seek power, to influence those who surround and for new challenges to conquer almost constantly. They plan, strategise, and prepare for every nuance on their personal journeys.

    Yet despite this desire, it’s never blatant and in public, always they stride forward under the guise of another figure to give that element of risk and more fun in the proceedings. How much can the boundary be pushed? How close to the line can you go without stumbling over it and falling like the lesser breed? How can you convert even the most stubborn of minds to your cause?

    How do you make your not-so-humble dream a perfect reality?

    There is such a dreamer who stands above many of even fellow of his kind, never faltering and despite in the business for years his double life continues unabated. This man lives for his dream and is constantly forging it forward having long settled the foundations. His name even the majority of his underlings don’t know; his authority absolute and already a leading corrupting force amongst day walkers in their infinite innocence.

    He lives in the shadows yet may walk the light without chains, devoid of fear and doubt about his choice in life. With a smile and a steady hand cast forth, he is leading his own unique dynasty that is swiftly plunging forth into the upper-worlds once more and will not slow for any reason other than his choice.

    No more wishes, no more dreams. The tide is turning for a darker place not yet foreseen and the guiltless and the turned alike will be swept away in the oncoming slaughter.

    And it all shall begin with a single wave of a black cap.
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2008
  2. fishyfool

    fishyfool And a nice chianti

    SPPfail strikes back!

    In sincerity, nice prologue, hooked me in immediately, pardon the fishy pun.

    Keep me updated.
  3. psyrose3

    psyrose3 Well-Known Member

    o_O whoa.

    If my assumitions are semi correct... (This is Giovanni we're talking about, right?)

    O_O This is gonna be one epic fic. *waits to review first chapter*

    X3 ~Psy
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2008
  4. Zincspider

    Zincspider My Bloody

    *strains to keep face straight*
    This makes me want to play the Rp even more.
    I will paying attention to this.... very carefully.
    I would offer any advice I had to give, but none yet.

    Plus, me giving advice is like the Fish-Stick tellling the Bass how not to get caught. Extremely stupid.

    So far, so good.
  5. duncan

    duncan Well-Known Member

    I'm thirty minutes late, and yet three people have already beat me to it. Ah well.

    Honestly, this style suits you perfectly. Everything read beautifully, I haven't read a prologue that even resembles this in a long time. It's a style that really can be powerful if not overdone, and you did a great job with it. Very epic, and if you keep up a decent updating schedule this will be fantastic. I spotted one typo, though:

    This conflicts with itself a bit. It should either be "Blind men may dream of being able to see their loved ones one last time." or "A blind man may dream of being able to see his loved ones one last time." Whichever would work, although the first seems to fit in with the flow of it a bit better I should think.

    I've got to say, I really enjoyed the dreamer theme that was so prevalent throughout. It drew on a good emotional level, which really brought me in.

    In all, a really good start. Very nice job, here.
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2008
  6. Peter Quill

    Peter Quill star-lord

    Wow looks really good.

    It's been such a god awful ong time since I have reviewed a fic so I proabably won't be so much help. But you have hooked me in, not just because I'm in the RP but because well it looks good lol.
  7. Yami Ryu

    Yami Ryu Well-Known Member

    Here's the requested bum- er review.

    Yes. Review.

    Anyways I didn't see that many errors, tho it kinda makes me worry how Rune and Ruin are going to fair. Or is it Fare.

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