• Hi all. We have had reports of member's signatures being edited to include malicious content. You can rest assured this wasn't done by staff and we can find no indication that the forums themselves have been compromised.

    However, remember to keep your passwords secure. If you use similar logins on multiple sites, people and even bots may be able to access your account.

    We always recommend using unique passwords and enable two-factor authentication if possible. Make sure you are secure.
  • Be sure to join the discussion on our discord at: Discord.gg/serebii
  • If you're still waiting for the e-mail, be sure to check your junk/spam e-mail folders

~Peaceful Lilycove~

B

Black Marauder

...
This is my first comic. It is solely based on the city of Lilycove and it's residents' everyday lives. I would really appreciate if you would comment on my comic.

COMIC 01

*~Character Bios~*
Who's Who

~*The Rumour Mill*~
(none at the moment)

*~Spoilers~*
08-12-2005: Raven finds herself in an emergency!
09-12-2005: The Seascape announces their opening date.
10-12-2005: Bredan and company arrive in La Rousse City.
11-12-2005: Lory & Amelia go pre-christmas shopping.
12-12-2005: Caroline visits Prof. Birch's workplace and is shocked!

~*Schedule For A Month*~
One comic per day: 07-12-2005 to 31-12-2005

*~Credits & Stuff~*
All maps thanks to The Spriters' Resource.
All overworld character sprites by me. Do not use them ever.
 
Last edited:
S

SoulGuardian

PICHU ROXORZ!
Good comic! Its good for your 1st comic actually! i like the graphics too!
 
♥

♥Princess Ketchum♥

#1 Ash Satoshi Lover
its so awsome XD And funny

10/10
 
B

Black Marauder

...
Dafearo(svensk) said:
o_O; Is this thread a n00b magnet or something(no offense...)???
Click to expand...
Tell me about it. It attracted you (no offence either =.=)

Anyways, I'll be posting a Family Tree up later to help you not to get confused...
 
D

Davis the Gamer

Banned
Mr OMG I'm a critic, you basicly fail at crit. Because your comic would probly get a 4 or below on your reveiw system.

BUT I wouldn't say this is teh 1337 because tyheree is things that need improving.

#1: Text Under Pannels. TUP sucks dude. Story book format does not make this a comic. To make an effective comic, the text must be in the pannel. And if that makes the comic 10 pannels long, so be it. Text bubbles is the tool to make an effective comic.

#2: Humor? really now, you coul have the crappiest comic in the world but if it's funny, who cares? Humor is an imortant part in comics, unless this is a serious comic, which it doesn't look like it. If it is serious, disregard this one.

#3: Plot. The random thing isn't going good. Make a plot and stick by it.

overall, try to attept to do these.
 
D

Davis the Gamer

Banned
It's not a journy comic CoF.
It is solely based on the city of Lilycove and it's residents' everyday lives. I would really appreciate if you would comment on my comic.
Click to expand...
See, no journy.
Just cuz it's a Pokemon comic doesn't mean it's a journy.
 
K

Kowo

Guest
Controller of Flames said:
Now some other things, you said "fee money" which should be "free money" use microsoft word next time. You used chatspeak in your comic, it shows how little you care for the english language.But your biggest problem in your first comic is the text under pannels problem and introducing multiple charachters at the same time (read rule number two).
Click to expand...

They are not rules ! Only advices.

Blaziken's Charizard ( Blazi's for now on :) ) I like multiple characters, is way more fun. With all the advices that they have given you, your comic will rock !
 
E

Eric

Guest
A new comic? Let's see how it is.
Sprites: Let’s look at the first panel. Hmm... Is that girl picked on in school for having a square head and body? The badly shaded shoes don't really help either. I would recommend going back and making the body more human, the Wendys commercial lied to you. Square is not the best. In the third panel, the two boys seem to have frog eyes. Might want to move them a bit closer to each other so they look... human. Fourth panel, it seems that the girl can move without walking and the boy’s feet are detachable. You might want to fix this up.
Plot: You dialogue sucks. I tried to think of a nice way to say this but couldn't. First of all, who the fsck says OMG? Anyone NORMAL? No. Second, have the things you are having them say are things you don't say out load. When have you ever heard someone say, "Oh I vow to destroy them all, including Littleroot itself! Muawahahaha!" This is the reason to add speech bubbles, it makes your comic look better and it helps your characters not seem like crazy people talking to themselves.
 
B

Black Marauder

...
Expect both COMIC ONE & TWO later today with SPEECH BUBBLES!, as for the character designs; ppft. That's just the way it is. They were born that way. No one's perfect in their physique :p Raven's head isn't flat. It's her hear, ever heard of something called gel?

Thanks free the comments, both negative and positive. I'll be correcting almost everything...

EDIT: I'm done re-making COMIC ONE.

EDIT: Here's the Family Tree.
 
Last edited:
D

Dafearo(svensk)

Voodoobear
Davis PKMN Master said:
1.Mr OMG I'm a critic, you basicly fail at crit.
2.Because your comic would probly get a 4 or below on your reveiw system.
Click to expand...

1.That depends on what YOU see as crit. If you see crit as making n00bs look like fools, then maybe I've failed at it.
2.What the *PIIIIIIIIIP* does that have to do with this?
 
B

Black Marauder

...
1.That depends on what YOU see as crit. If you see crit as making n00bs look like fools, then maybe I've failed at it.
2.What the *PIIIIIIIIIP* does that have to do with this?
Click to expand...

Take your immature arguement somewhere else -_-
 
E

Eric

Guest
Although I enjoy a flame war once in a while, it should be with the thread author. But since the topic starte really didn't do anything to spark a flame...

No, dude. They weren't born that way. Just fix up you sprites and stop being lazy.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top