DragonGirl02
middle finger fun!^^
Peanut Butter Kills
This Fic is rated PG
But only for language and alien melting violence!
This Fic is rated PG
But only for language and alien melting violence!
2000 years ago, a massive nuclear war broke out among the earthlings. During that war, an enormous nuclear bomb went off and destroyed the entire planet. Luckily for the the human race, they had already begun colonizing Mars for fear that too many people could be hurt or killed in the war. So, the human race survived the long war. Now all of humanity resides on Mars, the red planet. But they're not the only ones there.
In year 4020, on a small section of Mars, is a city called Mars City. There,Tara goes to school at Vermillion Acadamy with her friends Karen and Jason. The acadamy is a huge building that is very shiny, and made mostly of a glass like substance. It's surrounded by many other buildings that look much like the school does. The houses are also simmilar to the other buildings. Although the buildings are glass-like, you can't see through them, which is a good thing.
"Tara, it's time for school!" called Tara's mom. "Tara, get out of bed or your going to miss the hoverbus!"
"Okay, alright, I'm up." groaned Tara sleepily.
Tara got dressed in her boring school uniform, a white blouse and a dull red skirt. Then she combed her long reddish hair and went down the escalator for breakfast.
"Aw, mom, why do we have to have dehydrated cereal every morning!" complained Tara. "I'm sick of this crap!"
"You know why; it's supposed to be good for you. It's scientifically enhanced." explanned Tara's mom. "Now eat it."
"Blech! Why is it that everything that's good for you always taste so icky?" Tara commented.
Tara unwillingly finished her "space food" breakfast, and hurried out to the bus stop.
"Now, have a nice day!" called out Tara's mother.
Tara walked to the bus stop. There she saw her two best friends, Karen and Jason.
"Hey," said Jason cooly. "Whats up?"
"Nothing much." replied Tara.
"Hey!" exclaimed Karen. "The hoverbus is here!"
The three of them climbed onto the hovering schoolbus and took their usual seats in the back of the crowded bus.
When the three of them got to school, they climbed off the hoverbus, and went inside the futuristic school building. Inside, they took the elevator to the third floor, since they were in the eighth grade. Then, they went to their lockers, which were painted red and white for school spirit. After they went to their lockers and gathered everything they needed, they headed off to first period. There, they got to attempt math problems with their evil math teacher, Mrs.Conglen.
"Now class, I want you to take out your homework, which was page 91, 1-72," commanded Mrs.Conglen. "I hope you all compleated the whole assignment. If you didn't, you'll be serving a detention!"
"Damn," whispered Tara. "Mrs.Conglen really is evil. I wish I hadn't been switched into her class..."
"What did you say?" asked Karen.
"Oh, uh, nothing..." replied Tara.
The class went on normally, or as close to normal as it could get, for about thirty minutes or so. Then Tara, and many of the other people in the room, saw strange, three eyed creatures outside the windows. The creatures were running around terrorizing the Mars city. They were orange, with many tenticles, and they were quite scary.
"What in the world is going on?" asked Mrs.Conglen.
No one answered. Everyone just stared in horror at the terrifying orange creatures scaring the crap out of all the citizens.
Suddenly, the classroom door burst open and three of the hidious creatures came into the room carrying huge gun-like weapons.
"Get off our planet!" said one of the martians.
"Go back to your own planet!" said another.
"Ahhhhh!" cried Mrs.Conglen. "Class dissmissed!"
"You fools, you cannot escape us!" screamed the third alien.
"C'mon," cried Tara. "Let's run down to the cafeteriea, maybe we can hide there!"
Tara, Karen , Jason, and a few other students ran down to the cafeteriea. Luckilly, there were no martians in there. Then,Tara realized that they were serving peanut butter sandwiches for lunch.
"Oh boy!" exclamed Tara. "They're serving peanut butter sanwiches for lunch today! That's the best thing they ever serve at this school!"
Tara grabbed a sandwich and began to unwrap it.
"Tara," says Karen. "we're being attacked by aliens, and all you can think about is peanut butter sandwiches?"
"Well," Tara said. "I'm hungry. Do you know what it's like to have to eat dehydrated cereal every morning? That stuff is terrible. You know, I think I'll take a bunch of these home so I'll have something else to eat in the morning."
Tara grabbed several sandwiches and tossed them into her bookbag.
"Well, um, ok...so you got some breakfast," said Jason. "But what are we going to do about the aliens?"
"I don't know," replied Tara. "Maybe we should just go home. I don't think there is going to be anymore school today, I mean, cause of the aliens and all."
"They said that they wanted us to get off their planet, you know, back in the classroom," said Karen.
"Do you think they were living here on Mars before we got here?"
"I don't know," said Jason. "But I do know that something has to be done. Maybe we could sign a peace treaty or something."
"Nah, I think they should just move to another planet, like Pluto." replied Tara.
"Yeah right!" exclamed Karen. "How the hell would we do that!?"
"I don't know...It was just a suggestion." replied Tara. "I think we should walk to my house. I bet there aren't any aliens there."
"Alright," agreed Jason. "Let's go then."
So the three of them left the cafeteria and started to walk to Tara's house. They took the back way through the alleys, thinking that no alien monster things would find them. They got red dust all over their feet though, since the alleys weren't paved. The three of them were almost there, but then, they were suddenly under attack of a bright orange, hideous monster.
"Aahhhh!" screamed Karen.
"Whoa, these guys are even uglier up close!" exclamed Jason.
"Tara...do something!" Karen called out.
"What am I supposed to do?" asked Tara.
"Throw the sandwiches at him!" suggested Jason.
"Okay, but alot of good that will do." said Tara.
Tara took a sandwich out of her bookbag and threw it at the alien. The top part of the bread fell off, but the rest of the sandwich kept going and landed peanut butter side down on the aliens ugly head. The alien began to scream and screach as if battery acid were being poured on it. Then the alien began to melt into a stinky orange liquid, with the sandwich half floating in the alien concoction.
"Aww! That's just nasty!" exclamed Jason. "I've heard of people being allergic to peanut butter before, but that's just rediculous!"
"But look!" cried Karen. "The alien melted! That's how we kill them! If we could get enough peanut butter, then spray it on the martians, we would get to keep Mars all to ourselves!
"Yeah," aggreed Tara. "but where are we going to get that much peanut butter?"
"Hell, there's a big peanut butter factory somewhere in Mars City. We could get it there." stated Jason. "Then we could fill firetrucks with the peanut butter and spray all the aliens."
"That's a great idea!" said Tara. "We should tell the authorities about our plan."
"Yeah, I guess we'd have to tell them. After all, we would need some help if were going to kill all those aliens." said Karen.
So the three of them set off to find the nearest police officer, tossing sandwiches halves at any martians they saw along the way. They had no luck in finding an officer, but they did find the sheriff, It seemed like
he was trying to fend off a coulple of martians that looked like they were eating his shoes.
"Sheriff!" Tara called out. "The aliens...their weakness is peanut butter!"
The sheriff acted as if he hadn't heard her. Tara, concerned for the sheriff's safety, ran up to the aliens attacking the sheriff and took her last peanut butter sandwich out of her bookbag. Then she carefully removed the wrapper and the top piece of bread.
"Hey kid!" growled the sheriff. "This is no time for lunch! Put that sandwich away and help me!"
"But Sheriff," said Tara. "I am helping you."
Tara took the sandwich half and smeared peanut butter on the aliens that were still trying to take the sheriff's shoes. They screamed like hell as they melted into smelly orange puddles around the
sheriffs feet.
"Oh, so you were trying to help me..." the Sheriff said glumly.
Jason and Karen ran over to where the Sheriff and Tara were standing.
"Um, Mr.Sheriff," said Karen. "we have a plan to get rid of these monsters."
"Well, let me hear it." replied the sheriff.
"Okay. Since the aliens melt when they come into contact with peanut butter, our plan was to spray them with peanut butter using firetrucks. What I mean is, if we could fill a bunch of firetrucks with peanut
butter, then spray and kill all the aliens with the peanut butter, we could keep Mars all to ourselves." Karen attempted to explain.
"Oh, I understand. that's actually a great plan. I might even be able to get the peanut butter and firetrucks for you. You kids just stay right here. I'll be back in a bit with every thing we'll need to kill the
aliens." said the Sheriff.
The three of them watched as the sheriff ran off in the direction of the fire station.
"I wonder how long it will take him to get back with all the peanut butter?" asked Jason.
"I hope he isn't gone too long." replied Tara.
About an hour later, the Sheriff returned with three peanut butter filled trucks and four giant sized jars of peanut butter.
"Alright kids, let's go kick some alien butt!" exclamed the Sheriff.
"Yeah!" cried Tara, Karen, and Jason in unison.
So the firetrucks spread out across Mars City. Then sprayed and killed all the aliens in the open. Tara, Karen, Jason and the Sheriff, took the jumbo sized jars of peanut butter so they could throw gobs of peanut butter at the rest of the aliens that the firetrucks could not get to.
After a while, almost all of the aliens had been melted off. Only five aliens remained; those five really didn't want to be melted.
"Please spare us!" cried one of the remaining martians. "If we come into contact with peanut butter, we'll melt!"
"Save it," replied Jason. "why should I just let you go? I mean, you guys tried to take over Mars."
"We will leave you in peace!" exclamed the martian. "We will move to Pluto!"
"You'd do that?" asked Jason. "I guess that would be okay...but you must leave now."
"Okay," agreed the alien. "we will teleport to Pluto now."
Then the aliens each pushed a button on their utility belts and disappeared.
"Hmm," thought Jason. "I guess they went to Pluto."
Now all the martians have melted or left for Pluto. Mars is safe once again. As for Tara, Jason, and Karen, they were treated like saviors of Mars City. Plus, they were on the news. And the aliens were never heard from again, for they feared that if they were to try to take Mars back again, they would be melted. Now there is only one big problem in Mars City, the huge mess of peanut butter and alien goop that needs
to be cleaned up...
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