VampirateMace
Internet Overlord
Alright, looks good.
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Penthouse of the Vampire King (Rated R) SU
- Thread starter VampirateMace
- Start date
VampirateMace
Internet Overlord
GoldenHouou (Samael - Angel, Slayer/Exorcist, Sorcerer) Accepted
Monster Guy (Adam - Human, Slayer, Sorcerer) Pending, looks good in general
- The op pendent is op in an op game, at 8+ powers (some of which are undefined). I would say pick if it gives him damage resistances, hightens his physical ablities, or gives him new abilities. But, He should already have better physical attributes then a normal human from the years of training, if that helps you decide. You coul also have multiple talismans, but use some restraint.
& (Cadence - Human, Exorcist, Chef, Witch, Wizard) Pending, looks good in general
- The Halberd, is it iron or silver? It reads like you just didn't decide.
- There's a sentence fragment in the armor description "It is decorated with various The skirt"
Everyone else, it's been about 2 weeks, let's get those SUs finished up.
Monster Guy (Adam - Human, Slayer, Sorcerer) Pending, looks good in general
- The op pendent is op in an op game, at 8+ powers (some of which are undefined). I would say pick if it gives him damage resistances, hightens his physical ablities, or gives him new abilities. But, He should already have better physical attributes then a normal human from the years of training, if that helps you decide. You coul also have multiple talismans, but use some restraint.
& (Cadence - Human, Exorcist, Chef, Witch, Wizard) Pending, looks good in general
- The Halberd, is it iron or silver? It reads like you just didn't decide.
- There's a sentence fragment in the armor description "It is decorated with various The skirt"
Everyone else, it's been about 2 weeks, let's get those SUs finished up.
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Monster Guy
Fairy type Trainer
K, I think I fixed it.
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VampirateMace
Internet Overlord
Vern (Chloe - Human, Slayer, Uni Student, Witch, Sorceress): Pending, minor stuff.
- Can we move the magic resistance to the hood? It already has that type of enchantment and talismans should really only do one thing.
- Um the non-specificity of her weapon collection is not great. I assume you'd mention if she had any magic weapons. Maybe make a short list of her go-tos after the sword?
Mon: Way better.
- Weapons look good.
- The talisman is way more reasonable, but talismans should still have just one purpose. But if you want to split the currently listed powers between two items though (one that gives him strength/speed, and one that gives resistances), that would be just fine.
- Can we move the magic resistance to the hood? It already has that type of enchantment and talismans should really only do one thing.
- Um the non-specificity of her weapon collection is not great. I assume you'd mention if she had any magic weapons. Maybe make a short list of her go-tos after the sword?
Mon: Way better.
- Weapons look good.
- The talisman is way more reasonable, but talismans should still have just one purpose. But if you want to split the currently listed powers between two items though (one that gives him strength/speed, and one that gives resistances), that would be just fine.
Monster Guy
Fairy type Trainer
The magic resistance has been split into a bedazzled bracelet.
VampirateMace
Internet Overlord
Mon, Vern: Okay, I think you're both good to go.
GoldenHouou
antagoonist
Omg I did it I completed the challenge. The main sections (appearance, personality and history) are all exactly 8 sentences and 100 words long.
Name: Sootsnout “Sally”
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Species: Werewolf
Occupation: Desperately trying to keep a part time job
Magical Studies:
Magical Aids:
Appearance:
Sally is of average height at 5’5’’, with an athletic build - owing to all the physical activity she engages in. She looks a little scruffy, with messy brown hair that’s definitely not cut to follow any sort of fashion. Her clothes tend to show wear and tear, and her shoes are often torn. They rarely follow any sort of colour theme. She does like earthy colours though.
Bruises and bandages attempting to cover them are also a common sight. Sometimes you can even find a little dried blood on her. Her eyes are red and sharp, full of life.
Personality: Sally is impulsive. Having grown up feral, she’s not used to having to keep up appearances, play nice or not bite someone when they’re being an idiot. She finds humans and the many rules of their society confusing.
Sally is very nosy, has no sense of personal space and can ask the weirdest, bluntest questions with a straight face. She also likes to fight. A lot. Not necessarily to hurt someone, but as a means to bond or play. She’s yet to forgive humans for what they did to her pack, even if she does find herself intrigued by them.
History: Sally’s ancestors originally hail from Eastern Europe. However, Sally was born in White Mountain National Forest, where her pack migrated to few generations ago.
From birth, she had magical powers. Due to this, she was assigned the apprentice of the tribe’s shaman, who was also born with magical abilities.
She spent the majority of her life in the forest, hunting, playing and praying to the gods of sun and rain. Then, a year ago, her tribe was forced to flee. Slayers found their den and attacked in great numbers. Only a handful made it out, escaping to New York City.
Other:
Name: Sootsnout “Sally”
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Species: Werewolf
Occupation: Desperately trying to keep a part time job
Magical Studies:
Psychical magic - Telekinesis | In addition to her werewolf powers, Sally was born with a weak knack for telekinesis. She can move any object or creature up to five kilograms (11 pounds) in weight, provided she has a direct line of sight to it. This power is limited to only one object at a time.
Magical Aids:
A talisman given to her by the pack’s shaman, said to ward off evil. Essentially, it will glow when someone with ill intent towards her draws near. In particular, it will turn silver if anything made of silver is brought to its vicinity. This has helped Sally stay out of slayers’ way despite her own recklessness.
Appearance:
Sally is of average height at 5’5’’, with an athletic build - owing to all the physical activity she engages in. She looks a little scruffy, with messy brown hair that’s definitely not cut to follow any sort of fashion. Her clothes tend to show wear and tear, and her shoes are often torn. They rarely follow any sort of colour theme. She does like earthy colours though.
Bruises and bandages attempting to cover them are also a common sight. Sometimes you can even find a little dried blood on her. Her eyes are red and sharp, full of life.
Personality: Sally is impulsive. Having grown up feral, she’s not used to having to keep up appearances, play nice or not bite someone when they’re being an idiot. She finds humans and the many rules of their society confusing.
Sally is very nosy, has no sense of personal space and can ask the weirdest, bluntest questions with a straight face. She also likes to fight. A lot. Not necessarily to hurt someone, but as a means to bond or play. She’s yet to forgive humans for what they did to her pack, even if she does find herself intrigued by them.
History: Sally’s ancestors originally hail from Eastern Europe. However, Sally was born in White Mountain National Forest, where her pack migrated to few generations ago.
From birth, she had magical powers. Due to this, she was assigned the apprentice of the tribe’s shaman, who was also born with magical abilities.
She spent the majority of her life in the forest, hunting, playing and praying to the gods of sun and rain. Then, a year ago, her tribe was forced to flee. Slayers found their den and attacked in great numbers. Only a handful made it out, escaping to New York City.
Other:
Wears a collar around her neck. This is so that if she transforms into a wolf and gets caught within the city, she can try to pretend to be someone’s wolf-dog pet.
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VampirateMace
Internet Overlord
GoldenHouou (Sally, Werewolf, Shaman/Psychic): Very nice, Accepted
- One note; Sorcery should be Psychical (as per the OP guidelines for werewolves and sorcery)
- One note; Sorcery should be Psychical (as per the OP guidelines for werewolves and sorcery)