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Penultimate

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Chozo, Apr 23, 2008.

  1. Katharina27

    Katharina27 Eeveelution Breeder

    All right, this is excellent! The humor is right up my ally and the characters are being beautifully developed. By the way, ignore bobandbill and keep the paragraph about American politics and progress. It was a gem!

    I also loved the reference to old pokemon fans who do nothing but complain about the new pokemon and game play. Thumbs up, I definitely intend to continue reading the series.
     
  2. Angelique

    Angelique transcending love~

    Chozo, you are a god. Your divine sense of humour really lights up my day. XD

    You made me laugh a few times with the pink excuse of a lump known as Chansey and Gallade was wittily written.

    Have to the love the way you satirise things without losing that awesome touch of light humour. Definately a talent you should be proud of.

    Anyway, keep up the great work and don't stop writing unless Muyo tells you to. XD
     
  3. Sike Saner

    Sike Saner Peace to the Mountain

    Epi is priceless, in my opinion. :D She's already proven to be a very amusing character--and of course she has; she is, after all, a member of the Chansey line, a line which continues to be awesomely portrayed in this. :D

    And I loved the part in which the nurse put the sherriff in his place in a nice, profanity-laden manner. X3 That was effing classic, and I loved the way it was executed, too. :D

    Highlights:

    That's one of my favorites out of all the descriptions of teleportations I've read over the years. I just love that choice of words, especially with regards to the "reality was seemingly edited" part. ^^

    XD A funny image, I thought.

    XD Nice one.

    XD

    That made me laugh, especially with regards to the use of "randy". XD

    A nicely-worded paragraph--I especially like the bolded part. :D

    I loved this part. X3 I think that implying the presence of the profanity rather than showing it outright in her exact words somehow had the effect of making it all the more clear that she was REALLY swearing up a storm there. And that second paragraph is awesome. XD

    Especially funny in that context. XD

    Cool. o.o I especially liked the "sickening keening wail of psychic energy" detail.

    I thought that the chaos of the scene in which that happened came through well, especially in that paragraph. ^^

    X3 Nice.

    Another choice of words that I liked...

    ...And another (I frelling loved that XD)...

    ...And another. XD

    Both of those are great examples of why I love your portrayal of the Chansey line. XD

    ...Wow. XD;

    XD

    XD I loved that.

    Wow... o.o Awesomely creepy Chansey there. XD That was a great moment.

    XD Loved the repetition of "metaphorical" there.

    Those Chansey are just effing priceless, I swear. XD And I couldn't help but be particularly amused by the use of, "Stop! In the name of love!" X3

    o.o That's certainly a memorable image.

    Again, I love the way Chansey are portrayed in this. XD

    XD Awesome way of putting it.


    Yep, I continue to enjoy the frell out of this story. :D
     
  4. flameswy

    flameswy Lord of Light

    hey, can i be on the pm list to? i realy love terry pratchets book,s and this is a great pokemon alternitive!
     
  5. Chozo

    Chozo My Serebii face

    lol k

    Next chapter should hopefully come sometime next week, when I have the week off. ~100 pages in a year, I truly am the literary moon master.
     
  6. iAmDewgong

    iAmDewgong Not too shabby

    I'd love to get on that PM list :'D
     
  7. Chozo

    Chozo My Serebii face

    I'm not sure what people in the ASB told you, but paying tribute my e-pole won't make me give you any SP.
     
  8. iAmDewgong

    iAmDewgong Not too shabby

    Not?

    K.

    I'd love to get on that PM list :'D
     

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