Chapter 31: The Invasion
Finale Part I
Love.
Love is an abstract concept; we cannot verify its existence, nor can we deny its reality.
It is for this reason that love is horrifying.
Many are afraid to love; will they be rejected? Will they die alone, with only 72 cats to keep them company? Will they never meet The One?
They will be rejected. They will die alone with 72 cats, of which only one is The One.
This is why love is such a strange concept to many a carbon-based lifeform. Wee cannot measure it, yet are sure of its existence. We cannot show it truly, yet we know we feel it. How does this work?
Nobody knows.
This chapter is focused on said abstract concept to such a minimal degree that one could say this introduction is a waste of time and is only designed to make the entire chapter seem longer. To those who say this, we say; “Stop spoiling our secrets.”
Regardless, this chapter mentions love on at least three and a half occasions. [full disclosure; we are not sure where the other half went.] Thus, this episode in the… for back of a better word,
interesting fanfiction, can function as either a Halloween or a Valentine’s Special. This is up to the reader’s discretion. Or they might not discreet whatsoever, in which case we are forced to ask if you have your receipt to do said action.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Hello Lavie,” said Death, somewhat embarrassed at having a greeting as the opening and thus the introductory impression of the chapter’s fleshy meatness.
“Hi, Death,” she sighed as she sifted through papers in her work. “You can come in, you know. I’ve just been sorting through these papers sent to me, asking for reviews. I rather like this one, it’s called-“
“We can’t mention a Fanfic’s title in our own
original work without getting sued, as I’m sure you’ll recall the time we didn’t…”
“I was only introduced to the main story a few chapters ago.” She paused for a moment. “Does this have no 4th wall? I mean, I’m used to the occasional reference, but….”
“Oh, that,” noted Death nonchalantly. “Well, we had to kill it at one point. It was kinda fun, though, if I’m being honest.” He awkwardly shuffled into the smallish room.
Lavie removed her reading glasses and stared at Death, brushing her blonde hair out of her face as she did so. “Is that even possible? It’s never been attempted, and that just makes no sense!”
“We attempted it, we did it, and I think everyone regrets it.”
“Everybody,” affirmed Lavie as she returned to her work. “So, did you need something, or did you just drop by to say hello?”
Death stopped, realizing he never came up with an excuse to talk to Lavie. “I, err… just wanted to ask….” He knew he could never ask hat he really wanted to, so his brain furiously searched for an alternative. “DO YOU BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS?!”
“Goodness, no. But if this fic is anything to go by, he’s quite the trainer.”
“You avoided my question.”
“I answered it outright,” Lavie said simply, flipping a page.
“Um… what would you do if you could choose any job?” Death stuttered stupidly.
Lavie tapped a pen to her chin and thought for a moment. “A walrus,” she answered simply. “
Que diriez-vous?”
“I’ve always wanted to be Santa Claus, admittedly,” Death said as casually as he could. Out of the corner of his eye socket, he noticed Lavie was trying to refrain from smiling. “You think it’s funny.”
Lavie caught herself. “I assuredly do not. I just think it’s neat that you have such…. ah,
unique aspirations.”
Death stared at her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
To save Lavie from having to contemplate a answer that hurts no one, Verve ran into the office at that moment. “Hello, Lavie!” he grinned as she waved. “Anyway, Death, we’re under attack, so I thought you might want to try something!” he beamed pleasantly.
“Under attack?! By who?!” Death demanded.
“By
whom,” Lavie helpfully corrected.
“Everything!” Verve grinned. “Everything is attacking us with the express intent of horribly disfiguring our body with pain and grim death!” he sang out jubilantly.
“You seem excited,” noted Death. “I’ll pretend I never saw that. Lavie, can you go wake the others? I’ll go check out what’s wrong.”
“Aye aye,” Lavie said before bolting out the door and down the corridor.
Lavie burst into Zub’s chambers to find that the room was auspiciously empty. There was a bed in the middle of the far side of the room, and a few generic furniture pieces lying around, but no indication Zub had slept in here. Glancing at a conveniently placed clock, she found that it was morning, and thus could conclude that it didn’t make sense that he had not slept.
Somehwere in the room, something gave off a sound of ripping.
Glancing to the ceiling overhead, she saw Zub duct-taped to the ceiling far above her, his sticky holds slowly weakening.
Lavie barely managed to leap to her left as his body finally ripped free, crashing to the floor with such force he broke through it to the floor below, which was, by another series of meaninglessly convenient coincidences, was Ran’s chamber. Weakly, Zub gave her a thumbs up, indicating he was alive to some extent.
“Hello!” Lavie called down pleasantly. “There’s a good chance we will all die horribly soon!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Death exploded into the control room/cockpit. Literally. As he neared the doors, the ship rocked from an attack of such ferocity it flung him into the room.
“Ow,” he sent absently as he scraped himself off the floor and met with the team of operating that were, well, operating the vessel.
“What’s attacking us?!” he demanded calmly with rage.
“Drones,” grinned one whose facial expression betrayed hints of insanity. “Loads and loads of drones.”
“Fun,” said Death. “Do we not have cannons?”
“Offline,” replied another operator grimly. “And we will be unable to activate it until they cease fire long enough for us to charge it up.”
Death nodded in a silence. “I have no choice but to use the secret weapon.”
“Secret weapon?”
“But of course, I installed it myself. Remember when Snattle made a brief appearance?”
“Yes,” said Ran, who ran in with Zub and Lavie.
“Turns out there’s a hole in the continuity that allows him to be replicated to a maximum of an infinite number of times,” grinned Death. “So deploy the Snattle Launcher!”
The operators all pressed a button simultaneously. On the exterior of the massive ship, the very pinnacle slid open as a large cannon silently rose out of the now-exposed hull. It was very elaborate; wires and pipes ran all over it, giving it the appearance of deadly, despite the fact that most of it was simply for aesthetics.
“Fire when ready!” Death yelled as Verve unsteadily climbed atop his shoulders.
The massive cannon positioned itself to where the barrel was aimed directly at a largish cluster of Them.
As all the pipes hissed, tubes glowed with semitransparent, Technicolor energy. After a brief pause, a figure was launched out of the barrel and the cannon reset itself, ready to fire another.
As Snattle shot through the air, Morph Suit clinging firmly to his body, his cape was thrown off and his hair whipped around wildly. His glasses shot off, revealing some very odd eyes. “I EILL BE GOVERNOR OF ORRE!” he declared prominently. “MY AMBITION DECLARES IT AS A STATEMENT OF PRETENTIOUS FACT!”
He collided with Them, and exploded, leaving nothing but ashes, scrap metal, and a wild cape.
“Fire again!” exclaimed Death, delighted.
“We might live! We might live!” chanted Verve, Lavie, and Ran as they danced around in circles.
“Sir, there’s a problem!” reported one of the operators. “Apparently a small pod has decked on the starboard valve, and has boarded the ship!”
Death glanced at his comerades as they came to a silent agreement. The fice raced out of the chamber and headed toward the elevator shaft.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Well, Rath, here we are, the last defense between the headquarters and Zub.” Rath smiled like he wanted desperately to smash somebody’s skeletal structure. “Justy would be so proud of us right now.”
Ashleigh was silent apart from the previous statement as she rode her chair atop Rath’s shoulders through the long hallway. She was told to meet up with Matrin [she had no idea how she would find him], escape [she had no idea how to do this], then destroy the battleship [this too she hadn’t the foggiest idea on how to do].
Foolproof plan.
Then she heard voices and indicated for Rath to duck behind a pile of Trubbish.
“I see you brought a lady friend,” Death noted teasingly to Ran, who had brought along Minka, who was definitely a preexisting character, along with the group.
Ran shrugged and blushed. “We’re engaged!” he exclaimed suddenly.
“That was sudden,” Death said in reference to how sudden the sudden proclamation was.
“Very sudden,” Lavie agreed.
“Did ‘sudden’ suddenly stop sounding like a real word to anyone else just now?” Verve asked.
Zub walked along in silence, being unable to talk and all. He noticed something behind a pile of Trubbish, but figured it as nothing.
“There’s no one here,” Death said.
“Aww, look. Everyone has a love interest now! How
cute!” swooned Ashleigh as she stepped out from behind the Trubbish, with Rath following suit. She glanced over at Zub. “Oh, except Zub. But that, I suppose, is because no one likes you.” She made a broad gesture. “No one likes any of you guys either, but you make some really cute couples!” she offered helpfully.
“That did nothing to help my low self esteem,” Minka sighed.
Ran patted her. “There, there, my sweet Russain android. Maybe we should
slow down,” he said, realized there was a pun there, and fell over laughing, and promptly died.
“We’re not a couple!” Lavie said defensively.
Ashleigh shrugged. “You two look like a couple.”
“And you look like a-“ Death growled before being cut off by Lavie, who yelled “Language!”
“And you two
act like a couple,” Ashleigh continued.
“And you
act like a-“ began Lavie, before she was cut off by Death.
Ashleigh smiled at this. “You two are so cute together!”
“Death rubbed the back of his neck and blushed, something very difficult for a skull. “I guess I wouldn’t
mind being a couple….”
Lavie stared at him.
Sheepishly he shrugged. “What? For all you know, we could belong together like jelly, and…. more jelly!”
This time everyone stared at him.
“I’m allergic to peanuts,” he said shamefully.
“RAUAURGH RAWOOORGA WOO!” Rath grunted.
Ashleigh frowned. “Rath is right. We have to pummel you all now.”
Rath raised his fists and let out an unholy snarl as he charged at the group. Verve ducked between his legs and ran to Ashleigh.
“Hello, Ashleigh,” he said as he began playing a violin. “How’ve you been holding up?”
“Matrin?” she asked.
Verve absently pulled a top hat out of nowhere and put it on over his curly blonde hair. Before him, Death punched straight through a wall as he attempted to smash our heroes.
“The one and theoretically only,” he grinned.
“Wanna do a magic trick and spice things up for us?” Ashleigh asked, broadly grinning.
Matrin took off his hat, shook it so that a few hundred Lopunny poured out, then put it on again. “My pleasure.”
Suddenly all the combatants disappeared. A Regirock, Togekiss, Jynx, and Miltank had all been summoned out to engage in the fighting as well, though they too disappeared inexplicably.
“Where’d they go?” Ashleigh asked.
“They’re still there,” shrugged Matrin as he reached a crescendo on his violin. “I just made them invisible.”
“
INFIDEL! REVEAL YOURSELF!” roared a bodiless voice as a massive dent appeared unfortunately close to Ashleigh.
“Can they not see each other?” she asked worriedly.
“No, Regirock’s just stupid,” sighed Matrin.
“This is the cheapest fight scene, ever,” sighed Ashleigh.
“Rath! Try to think!” exclaimed the voice of Death. “Use reason! Be free!”
“PHREH?!” he asked.
“Free!” Ran said. “Normally, I’d be against it, but in this case, think about it! Why do you do what you do?”
“AUDUNO” Rath shouted as a very audible crunch was heard.
“Think! Try to use imagination!” urged Death.
Rath could be heard stopping in his tracks. “UHM…. EURGH…” he muttered before he crashed into a wall, leaving a sizable dent in it.
“AAAAAURGH!” he screamed. Suddenly his footsteps were filled with much more force and frenzy.
“Oh no, he’s angry again! We’re back where we started!”
“Don’t be ridiculous. He’s
much worse now!”
Upon closer inspection, Ran saw that Death was indeed correct. “I see that you are indeed correct,” he said. “My bad.”
“I feel like such a Ford,” scowled Death. The ‘scowled’ bit is just a guess; honestly, I’ve not the faintest idea about what he presently looks like.
“Ashleigh, I have a question,” squeaked Minka from somewhere within the fray. “Why
do you guys do what you do?”
Ashleigh stopped and considered. “Well, Rath just likes smashing things. I’m here for the decent hours and good pay, I think Bel just does it because it’s fun, and Matrin…. why
do you do this, Matrin?”
“It gives me hats on TF2 in exchange for my service,” Matrin shrugged.
“He gives you hats on TF2 for your service?” asked Ashleigh in disbelief.
“Wait, where did Matrin come from?” asked Death.
“How’s the battle going?” asked Ashleigh. “I’ll be honest; I’ve no idea.”
Little did Ashleigh know, a panel in the ceiling over her head slid open.
“Well, let’s just put it this way; if we were all potatoes, we would all be very damaged potatoes, with the exception of Minka.”
“I do so ever like literary devices,” said Matrin nonchalantly.
“This is so un-fabulous! I command that you dance!”
Ashleigh leaned up against a nearby wall. “Did you say something, Matrin?”
“That would be my funky-fresh words!” proclaimed Miror B. as he slipped out of the ceiling and onto Ashleigh’s shoulders, forcing her to give him a Grumpiggyback ride.
“Get off me, you freak!” she screech as she blindly stumbled into walls, his hands obscuring her vision.
“Dance for me, Charlie!” Miror B. cackled.
Finally, Matrin’s spell wore off, and everyone remained in full sight once more. Derpy Moos, battered and beaten, lied dazed in a corner, softly humming ‘The Imperial March’. Lavie’s Togekiss was attacking the Regirock as Suckish was taking it head on against Rath.
“Suckish, you might not suck that much a little bit maybe after all,” said Death approvingly. Suckish turned at him and blew a kiss.
Lavie frowned. “Does Suckish do that to everything?”
A chef ran down the corridor to supply food and supplies. Suckish curiously checked out a large slab of steak with a passion burning in her eyes.
“Suckish, stop flirting with the meat,” Death growled.
The Jynx pulled itself away from the meat glumly and tackled Rath once more.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nob patrolled up and down his office. “If we’re going to smash all their faces in with only a maximum of four hammers, we’ll definitely need some string, several dozen llamas, and a lot of paddles. But the paddles aren’t for us.”
Debbie stared at him. “What else would the paddles be used for? ….Oh.” suddenly his look if curiosity dissolved into a look of mild interest and also disturbance.
“And from there, we crush them good and even!” Nob declared.
Debbie adjusted his blouse. “Do you have a role model~”
Nob smiled. “Sun Tzu. My mentor told me he invented fighting, and beat up lots of animals.”
Debbie smiled. “Mighty impressive, for someone so dead~
Nob shrugged as an operator burst in. “More intruders that need to be taken care of!” he panted, having apparently run all the way to his destination.
“CAN WE KILL THEM?!” asked Nob excitedly.
The operator nodded. “They’re a trio of new characters. What has eben out of work for seven years, and the other two are… interesting.”
“Interesting~?” winked Debbie.
“Go see for yourself.”
TIME PASSES
AND WE DO NOT HAVE THE FUNDS TO PROPERLY EXPRESS IT
SO ALL YOU HAVE IS THIS LOUSY NOTE
-Germaine and Rectangle
Debbie and Nob marched through a listless solid metal corridor, humming the spectacular
Zub: The Adventures of Stuff theme song.
“Gee, I sure do wish we had a theme song so that we would be humming an actual tune instead of a low resonance of impeding terror~” commented Debbie offhandedly.
Nob greed, clearly not understanding what Debbie just said. He continued the resonance.
Suddenly, a large green man appeared before them, wearing nothing but a cape and a regal kilt. His green complexion appeared almost scaly in a fearsome fashion, but not overbearingly so. His pale yellow eyes were full of distate and anger, his red pupils completing the look. He also had a large serpentine tail in the place of legs, but that’s not that important.
But worst of all, he had a hideous combover.
“I am Quozmir, the Fanfician god of…. OVERUSED PUNCTUATION!!!!” bellowed his rasping voice.
“Don’t I know you?” Nob asked hesitantly.
“No,” replied Quozmir rather quickly.
“I do! I remember you from my childhood! You were in that one show, [CONTENT REMOVED; LEGAL INFORMATION CONTAINED]!”
Quozmir sheepishly rubbed his neck. “I was…. what’s the term?”
“Ingested?” offered Nob.
“Drunk~?” added Debbie.
“Yes! I was DRUNK!” Quozmir declared, before realizing what he said. “No, wait…”
“Laid off?” Nob tried.
“Ah, yes! I was laid off! One of these days, I really will have to get a dictionary….” he mumbled.
“Can I call you Herbert?” Nob asked, interrupting the god’s train of thoughts.
“No.”
“Whatever you say….
Herbert.”
“I said NO!” Herbert exclaimed, nostrils mysteriously flaming. “And don’t you start on me, narrator!”
The narrator takes this opportunity to wonder what Herbert could possibly do!!!!!!
The narrator then takes
this moment to see what he has done!!!!
“TAKE THAT!!!!” Herbert announced in a decretory fashion.
“Anyway, I’ll need to stall you before my reinforcements arrive… You’re quite troublesome.” intoned Herbert.
“We are NOT!” protested Nob.
“Go, the infamous Hypocrisy Hippowdon!” cried Herbert as he threw a Pokémon. A large yellow flesh monster appeared, with bits of grey armour covering it. Its hazy red eyes seemed to glare at everything as sand poured out its back.
“Prepositions are not something to end sentences with,” he snarled at Debbie ferociously.
“Aurgh~! This is HORRIBLE~!” he exclaimed.
They Hypocrisy Hippowdon turned to Nob.
“I respect your opinion, but your opinion is unrespectable.”
Nob clutched his face in his hands. “THE PAIN! MAKE IT STOP!” he roared.
The Hypocrisy Hippowdon got an evil grin and turned to Herbert. “You are such a hypocrite,” it said smoothly.
“You monster!” Herbert screamed as he swayed on his table, which was now trembling.
“Hypocrite,” the Hypocritical Hippowdon glowered.
“I know! I’ll use an idea totally not taken from my nemsis!” Herbert decided. Ingeniously, Herbert fashioned a high pressure water cannon using nothing but duct tape, an Emolga, and a high pressure water cannon. Securing the Emolga into place atop the water cannon via duct tape, Herbert took aim and fired water rat the Hippowdon, reducing it to little more than sand.
“We make a great team,” he sighed contentedly. “Well, I bet you’re all wondering why I did that.”
“Yes, we are,” Nob agreed as he began recovering from the onslaught.
“Good to know,” Herbert nodded.
“I hope you realize we can no longer trust you~” Debbie cried out happily.
“Did the narration say ‘happily’? What could make you say that happily?!” demanded Herbert.
“We will have to confine you,” Debbie gtrinned maliciously as he threw a Pok 33ball at Herbert, imprisoning him instantly.
“That seemed easy,” Nob shrugged.
“Apparently, the next invaders we need to take care of are criminals. How exciting~” Debbie said with mild amusement as he took out a sheet of paper with a list of offenses on it.
A man and a woman slowly stalked down a neighboring hallway toward them with an air of regality.
“I’m Debbie, and this is No~” Debbie began before getting cut off by Nob.
“Noah,” Nob said hurriedly. To Debbie, he harshly whispered, “This isn’t some stupid video game! Don’t just be throwing my name around like that!”
Debbie shot back a simple, “No, it’s not a stupid video game, it’s a stupid fanfiction~!” before returning to their guests. “And who might you be~?”
“I am Baron von Majestic!” exclaimed the woman in her regal robes. “Vice Commander of your demise!”
“And I’m Marco!” her husband waved merrily.
Baron von Majestic shook her head. “My husband is an idiot. He’s a liar. His real name is Baron von Awesome Death Bringer of Lack of Adequate Descriptions Describing His Deathliness de Smith. Or just Baron von Awesome for short.”
Baron von Awesome blushed. “You give me too much credit,” he said modestly.”
“Either way, your list of criminal offenses are astounding, sir,” said Debby as he donned a pair of reading glasses to further investigate the list. “Manslaughter, severe bombing of multiple cities, countless massacres, hijacking airplanes, terrorism, and an extremely poor taste in music.”
“I told you that would be our downfall one day,” Baron von Majestic glowered. “I mean,
country[/]?! Really now!”
“It was a good idea back in the eighteenth century. Remember that Lincoln fellow? He didn’t believe us, said he was too busy inventing some ridiculous invention called ‘stairs’. We showed him!”
“Stairs became a vital instrument to society throughout the years~” Debbie said. “Your music taste is horrible and has no excuse though, so we’ll have to annihilate you~!”
“Seems harsh,” noted Baron von Awesome.
“Very,” agreed his wife.
“Extremely~!” agreed Debbie. “But still, it’s a necessity~!”
“Except, there’s one small thing.” Baron von Majestic grinned. “You can’t kill us, missy!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meanwhile, on the opposite side of the ship, Lavie, Zub, Ran, Minka, Death, Lavie, and Zub were still fighting Matrin, Ashleigh, and Rath. Matrin had unleashed his ultimate weapon; the Growlithe of Many Distractions.
“That Growlithe is so…. Growlithe shaped, it’s uncanny!” gaped Ran.
“Wouldn’t that just make it a Growlithe-shaped Growlithe?” mused Death. “Which is then just a Growlithe, no?”
Lavie scowled. “You guys are both idiots. The Growlithe is clearly Arcanine shaped.”
Ran shook his head in wonder. “Nature is amazing.”
“Should we be focused on something now?” Death asked as he admired the adorability of the Growlithe that was now scratching itself.
“I don’t know; should we?” asked Lavie.
“You’re all idiots!” exclaimed a voice as a Gallade swooped in and defeated the Growlithe with a single swipe. Its bladed hands reached behind it to pull on a zipper, revealing it was, in fact, Bel herself. She then shot out a Pokéball containing Gallade, making one wonder what the thought process behind her entrance was in the first place.
“Why hasn’t he let go?!” demanded Ashleiogh as she desperately attempted to wrench Miror B. off her face. Eff Ecks had also leapt onto Matrin’s head, but somehow the magician seemed not to notice, idly shuffling cards in his hands.
“Hey Bel,” he said in an easygoing voice. “What brings you here?”
Bel stared him down. “Just the simple fact that you should have destroyed this place and escaped by now!”
“Technical difficulties,” Matrin said simply, gesturing bleakly to the man covering his head.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“We’ve been cursed,” admitted Baron von Majestic. “In exchange for a handsome sum of money and immortality, whenever we are lit on fire someone in the world writes a horrible country-hip-hop-folk song about our accolades.”
Debbie’s mouth flew open! “That’s horrible~!” she sympathized.
Baron von Awesome walked over and patted him lightly. “It is indeed, little lady.”
Nob sighed. “So, are you going to intrude or what?”
The Barons simultaneously waved the question aside. “We already did!” Baron von Majestic smiled. “So with that, I bid you, adieu!”
The two walked off and jumped into the airlock.
“That’s a tad disappointing,” noted Debbie sadly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“A little shabbier than I recall. A lot more fires, and a hella lotta holes,” noted a voice in calm as it slowly boarded the central hatch.
“If I recall, this is the result of your plan[/i].”
“Well, Mewtwo, there’s a good reason fpr that, and that is-“
“
Shut up with your idiocy, doctor. I am here to find Mew, and to find Mew only.”
Dr. Zubious stared hard. “No one else is this rude on this fic,” he grumbled dejectedly as he led Mewtwo on board.
“
No one else is a giant muscular purple cat. Also everyone else on this fic is an idiot.”
“Moot point,” ceded the doctor. “But I have a PhD!”
“In stupidity, no doubt.”
Dr. Zubious frowned at him. “That was supposed to be revealed later.”
“I’m sure,” Mewtwo said in a voice that revealed he was not at all.
“Just do your job,” scowled Dr. Zubious. “And you get Mew back.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Pretend it’s a taco,” Death said irritably.
“For the last time, no!” exclaimed Lavie. “Just open the hatch so we can all go back to bed!”
Death tried the doorknob, an unusual site amongst hatches. “It’s locked,” he said resolutely. “How do you open locked doors?”
“With a key?” asked Lavie.
“A what now?” asked Ran and Death simultaneously. Zub and Minka also expressed similar confusion.
Lavie tried her key. “It won’t work,” she noted. “Just keep calm, and breathe steadily, don’t hyperventilate…”
“Breathe?” asked Minka, Ran, and Death. Zub stared at her in perplexion.
“I thought they were joking when the job application said you guys were all idiots!” she said in exasperation.
An operator ran into the airlock. “Altitude is dropping critically! We’re crash-landing into that hill on the island below!”
“Hill?” asked Death.
“Island?” inquired Ran.
“Below?” wondered Minka. “Gravity is so silly here!”
“We’re going to die!” Ran exclaimed. “Well, I will come back, and Death and Lavie are immortal, and Minka is made out of titanium, so I guess it’s just Zub that will die, but still….”
This is because the universe hates Zub.
The ship crashed as it blew into flaming debris.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Hey guys, guess what? BADABOOM!” exclaimed the author as the ship suddenly was extinguished and landed normally.
“How the-?!” demanded all present.
“I used my authorly powers, duh,” said the Author.
“They were taken away, weren’t they?!” demanded Death.
“Naw. I just forgot about them.”
Ran’s eye twitched. “So all this time, you could have done a snap of your fingers and saved us, while we’ve been risking everything for you?!”
“Yup, pretty much. You guys are idiots. You’re lucky I’m doing this for community service, or else no one would take you in.”
Death sniffled. “That stung.”
“You’re doing this for community service?” she asked imploringly.
“Tell you about it later,” he promised, then pointed to the bleak and ashen landscape around them. The island had clearly seen heavy war, and probably once harboured a great city, judging by the ruinous shapes surrounding them. Far from them, a very large wooden bridge connected the island to a much smaller one. Atop the other island was a massive grey tower that loomed beyond the sky.
“Welcome to Isla de Fallecimiento, home to the mysterious Titanic Tower, Their headquarters.” the Author said solemnly.
“I’m still mad about that whole forgotten powers thing,” Death said crossly, completely ruining the cliffhanger’s desired mood.
