Provided she doesn't post while I'm watching this, I will have beaten Juputoru to the bullet-point-punch, thus cementing my greatness in forum hyphen history. You dare deny my greatness? Well, I dare deny your inferiority! Wait...that didn't come out quite right. Oh well, BACK TO ADVENTURE!
CURSES! I will chase you to the ends of the earth to make you pay for this, S.Suikun! (The fee is $19.99, plus shipping and handling)
-The ep opens with...Jessie vs Ursula! Hell yes!
-In Ursula's corner, there are Pichu Red Version and Pichu Blue Version. Jessie's using the infinitely cooler Yanmega and Seviper combo! Who will win? (probably not the person using the cool Pokemon)
-Pichu Red and Pichu Blue counter Seviper's haze by cheating with some sparkly thing.
-Stop using the goddamn plus/minus ability
stop it stop it.
-Jessie's actually being creative with her attacks and she's going to lose to goddamn Plus/Minus spam.
-Seriously the rat twins are glowing yellow and blue and flying around like super saiyans what the hell
-Jessie is understandably depressed at losing to someone who used zero creativity in their battle. And at losing to fu
cking PLUSLE AND MINUN.
-I see the animators are being creative with their "show a bunch of battle stills so we can pretend that people other than Dawn and her rivals are in this contest" shot transitions this time.
-Oh, THERE'S the goddamned Cyndaquil/Mamoswine combo Dawn spent so much time perfecting.
-5 minutes into the episode, Dawn loses!
-Okay,
okay, she won against generic empty husk of a coordinator #1457 by a landslide.
-Ursula has terrible taste in Pokemon(other than the Gabite), but at least she has a winning(read:interesting) personality!
-Who needs to show Dawn and Ursula when they're talking to each other, when...YOU CAN JUST SHOW PIPLUP INSTEAD!
-Hey look! Johanna's bothering to watch her daughter on TV!
-Mamoswine eats the ice ball and......WHAT. It...suddenly has ice spikes for some reason.
-Look guys, it's Tacky Out-Of-Place-CGI Swift!
-...Dawn? There's such a thing as "trying too hard."
-Ursula's a jerk! I STILL LOVE IT!
-Dawn's Pokemon...are using the wrong moves?!
-Oh, I bet they used Encore. I GET IT.
-Aw look, Dawn and her Pokemon are sparkly and their hair's all frizzed up. (...shouldn't your moves actually HITTING YOUR OPPONENT get you some kind of penalty?)
-Ursula is a Super Jerk!
-The MOOOOOOs and HEEEEEEs of Dawn's Pokemon convince her to get over her crippling phobia in a manner of seconds! Or they made her realize that she can, you know, fix her hair after it gets messed up.
-Dawn has...Cyndaquil attack Mamoswine? She's cracked! Cracked like a coconut!
-She's LOSING POINTS FROM HER OWN STRATEGY
-And now Mamoswine attacks Cyndaquil! MASS MAYHAM ON THE MAIN STAGE!
-All that to get out of Encore?
-I will SO GLAD to never have to hear that popping noise again.
-I just love how arbitrary the point counters are. Don't you?
-The "main character gets their a
ss kicked but turns EVERYTHING around in the final act" bit is cliche as hell, but I don't mind as long as I get to see Plusle and Minun
suffer.
-I am so expecting the timer to run out while everyone is dramatically waiting for Spark.
-...the timer ran out as everyone was dramatically waiting for Spark!
-Dawn wins, Ursula loses, nobody's really surprised.
-Forget Dawn. I want to see Ursula VS Jessie become the main contest rivalry!
-And to think some of you thought Dawn would lose but get into the GF with the ribbon her mom gave her(do the writers even REMEMBER that?).
-Oak's lecture is on...the Unown! With clips all from ONE episode, obviously the only one they ever appeared in(the Solaceon ruins? What on earth are those??)