Pletora's Story

[Sike Saner]

“Listen, I-I know it sounds weird, but parts from mon of all types are needed to create a body for -- for Arceus, Lord Arceus, so He can descend into our realm and save us from the calamity that threatens our world!”

“Body? What, you mean that hodgepodge of rot over there? That's not how bodies work!”

Mill defensively extends his hand to his creation. “Well, n-not for mortals, and I know it doesn't l-look like much right now, but Arceus will fix its faults. He will make it… full! Like its name says… Type-Full.”

Well then. That's, uh, certainly one way to make a null, isn't it. A horribly smelly and probably COMPLETELY nonviable way, but Mill was sort of the right track in the aesthetic sense, I guess?

A white-hot flame erupts from the typhlosion's snout, cloaking the berry in her paw. Her arm flings the burning lump across the room in a great, blazing arc, right onto the Type-Full.

As if it didn't smell amazing enough already!

“Yeah, kid, you should listen to your mom,” the scolipede says. “I mean… I also said your mom was a bad mom when you were lost, but --”

“I’m sorry, what?” Catai interrupts.

does a snorty little laugh

“Alright, then it's settled,” says Catai and stands up. “We'll go to Heatmor Harald's Bakery and get some treats!”

“Yay!” Sisi bounces off her bed and skitters out the room, followed by Catai telling her to slow down.

Pletora exits the room too, but then pauses in thought.

Heatmor…? Isn't that what the durant…

I wonder if there's ground-up durant armor in the flour or something. Good source of iron...?


All in all, this has been a fun story. Cute in some ways, twisted in others. Congrats on completing it, and thanks for posting.

 

[Namohysip]

Well! And so comes an end to this little story. I think the ending happened at an oddly anticlimacic way, but at the same time, I wasn't really sure how it would turn out. To be honest, considering your usual genre style, I'm surprised it turned out this way to begin with!

Not to say I'm disappointed, though. I'm actually pleased! This chapter was a bit odd regardless, though. I feel like the intensity and perilousness didn't come across that strongly. I think adding a bit more tension could help there during the encounter with Mill. It seems like they immediately know what they have to do, even if it's not explained to the reader, when I think it would'be helped to emphasize the fact that they had an urgency to do something yet no way to actually do it. Pent up action, in a way, without a means to fix it.

Still, that aside, I thought it was also interesting how you somewhat alluded to a bigger picture--a sort of Arceus replica cult--without really going right into it. The fact that they were dismissing Mill as being a lunatic only makes me think that perhaps there's more to it, particularly because he's not just some dastardly evil Pokemon in terms of his actions. But, sure, he can also just be crazy. Not really sure.

Anyway, those were my overall thoughts. You wrapped up the main plot points nicely and introduced some minor "bigger picture" hints as well... but perhaps could work on tension management. Onto quotes!

“Don't go silent on me now!” Mill screams.

And this is actually what makes me think there's more to it. This implies he's either so cracked that he hears voices (which considering how oddly stable he is, I'm less inclined to believe), or something actually is talking to him, or was, prior.

“Well, n-not for mortals, and I know it doesn't l-look like much right now, but Arceus will fix its faults. He will make it… full! Like its name says… Type-Full.”

Oh, interesting. Another fic with their unique PMD-style take on the Arceus wannabe. Huhuhu...

and if he managed to kill all those mon, he can't be weak

I mean just end him with a Psybeam. That should be enough... Oh wait, nobody here has that. What a shame.

he was… actually a thief! He was going to make us pay him to let you go, but we... taught him a lesson and got you back safely.

...I mean, all things considered, that's a pretty good way of telling Sisi what's up. She's just a kid.

A warm, gentle wind blows, and in the clear sky above, the sun continues to rise.

Not a bad way to end things off, actually! Camera pan to the scenery to signify an optimistic ending tone. Overall, nice! Good finish.

 

[Firaga Metagross]

Finally got around to reading your fic. I usually don't read PMD stuff, so this was a good introduction to the format! I liked the set-up in the first chapter; I think I did a good job of establishing the kind of world Pletora lives in and how that's shaped her personality. Also, liked how all of the interactions tied into the later parts of the story, but I suppose that's natural considering the length of the story.

The contrast between the guild society and the rest of the Pokemon was a good source of tension in the story. None of the Pokemon in the story come off as "feral" so much as they just had established different forms of society that clashed with each other. Despite being the most "civilized" the guild Pokemon came off as just as fearful of outsiders as the rest.

I have mixed feelings about Mill as the villain. I think he's an interesting character and his end goal of calling forth Arceus via Type: Null was a creative use of the Pokemon, but I wish he'd been introduced a bit earlier in the story. Hearing about the monster early on was a good choice, but even something like having him briefly converse with Pletora or Sisi in chapter 2 would make his reveal as villain seem a little less "last moment".

I think the ending works well, considering the story's theme of trust between different groups. Having Sisi not know what happened kind of deflated the impact IMO though.

I'm glad I got to read this and I'll be sure to take a look at what you next write!

 

[Chibi Pika]

Finally got a chance to check this out after everyone and their mom read it back in September! And I have to say, this was quite a fun read! For starters, I'm a tooootal sucker for the jerk with a heart of gold trope, bonus points for their soft side coming out from having someone to protect.

At first it was a bit hard to see how this was PMD (even though I already knew it was a 'loose' PMD) but then we've got Pokemon living in guilds and a distinction between guildren and wildren (love those terms btw) and prejudices between the two. Nice details that made the world feel more fleshed out for what little we got to see of it.

I like the way you dropped various hint to how exactly things were going to go south, but only certain ones played into the climax. We've got an unusual bug shortage, the Red Death, the mysterious killer, and the Glowrock Caverns. And while those last two ended up being the main ones, having multiples potential plot theads helps keep a reader interested after it becomes clear that there's more to the story than Pletora returning Sisi to the guild.

And speaking of the Glowrock Caverns, I think it was around the point where Mill and Sisi arrived there that my brain was like, "...wait. isn't this the place where... ohhhhh nooooo." So that earlier mention definitely made this scene tense long before he even started doing anything suspicious. Actually, in general, I like everything about how set up the serial killer subplot, from the initial mention, to Pletora finding the corpses, to the slow buildup of things being very wrong when Mill and Sisi arrive at his home. His genuine, adamant belief that this was all worth it in service of Arceus making things better for everyone added a lot to his character. And that Type:Null reveal was deliciously creepy and totally unexpected. I love when authors figure out ways to bring Null into a story outside of the SuMo plot.

And at the end we've got a well-earned happy ending for Pletora, with tasty foods to go with it. All in all, this was a fun little story with some great character moments, an intriguing mini-mystery, and some creatively disturbing imagery during the climax. I'm glad I finally got to check it out!

~Chibi~