• We are currently experiencing a flood of requests from bots scraping the forums. Unfortunately it has gotten to the point where it is negatively impacting the site. As a result the forums may be slow and you may periodically experiance an error message. We are aware of the problem and apologize for the inconvenience.
  • Be sure to join the discussion on our discord at: Discord.gg/serebii
  • If you're still waiting for the e-mail, be sure to check your junk/spam e-mail folders

Plusle and Minun's Great Adventure

Minun2

Mew of Thunder
Here is a story based on a Plusle and Minun who went on a most dangerous adventure, in order to save a bunch of baby Pokémon. Please tell me what you think of this story, and hopefully you can give it a rating between 1-5. I will update it with pictures later
[glow=blue,2,300]Plusle and Minun's Great Adventure[/glow]
It was a foggy day, when Ryan (thats me!) was in the middle of a training session with his Pokémon, Plusle, and Minun. They suddenly came across a bunch of abadoned baby Pokémon. Ryan thought it was bad to abandon Pokémon like that, so he wathced them while he was doing a training sessions. And then suddenly, without nobody noticing, a team of two villains came up and stole the Pokémon. And those villains were... it wasn't Team Rocket, or Team Magma or Aqua, or any other of the original Pokémon villains, it was a new group, they were called "Team Thunder". They had yellow uniforms on. "What will we do" said Ryan, when the trainer of the baby Pokémon suddenly came back. "YOU STOLE MY POkéMON!" he said, angrily, but Ryan explained that he was innocent, but the trainer kept going on and on, and so, Ryan explained what happened. The work "Team Thunder" rang a bell in the trainer's mind, and the trainer managed to take Ryan and his Pokémon to where they live. It was a huge castle, and the Pokémon were kept prioner at the top of the tower. And there starts, Plusle and Minun's Great Adventure

Plusle and Minun smashed there way throught the locked door into the castle, although it was locked, Plusle and Minun managed to smash it down and get in. They hear nothing but screaming Pokémon, loud from the speakers, and Team Thunder was nowhere to be seen. But there was some kind of pattern. They came across a young boy, they prepared to attack until they found out, tha in fact, it was a good, innocent boy, and they got advice for him. "This castle is some large maze" he said "I know the correct way, but it was too scary for me, go through that cave, and climb up large stones, it is scary, do you think you can handle it?" They both said yes, the boy, however did not understand them as they only said their names, like all Pokémon, but he understood they were going to go for it, and they did.

At the same time, Team Thunder was looking at them through a spy camera, and was very worried, Plusle and Minun wqere both indeed, brave, and Team Thunder were both worried that they may be able to wreck their lifes forever. Plusle and Minun both dicussed the matter with each other on how they were supposed to get throught the dark caves. Plusle suggested "We should just feel with our hands" which was the most obvious ideas, and Minun used Helping Hand to help out. Suddenly, they could not feel any stones, and had to make the jump of their life, and they didn't even know if that would be possible to work. "Should we do it" said Minun, "Of course, I think I can see a slight blur" so they risked their life, and it worked.

"Im worried" said a member of Team Thunder, "Snap out of it" said the other, "Theres no way they can defeat us, lets just place a boulder on front of the cave. "OK" said the other member. "QUICK! BEFORE THEY GET THROUGH, THIS IS NO TIME TO DISCUSS" said the other member as they went to get the boulder and blocked the cave. This did not help at all however, as Plusle and Minun managed to get rid of it in just one hit, and managed to be in view of Team Thunder. They touched tails and thunder spread and hit Team Thunder. "WAHAHAHAHA" said both of Team Thunder at the same time, these uniforms make us invincible to electric moves, as they ran away. Suddenly they saw a boy, like the one they saw before, and asked him, he said "We have been here together to save our Pokémon. We eached managed to get to different places, unluckily, im the second worst. The next task is to get across there, there are invisible holes. No problem, said Minun. They bounced, and bounced, and suddenly came down into a dungeon, but they managed to get out in no time, but were back again. They remembered their previous experience, and didn't stand where they had previously fell, and eventually, they got through. They met another boy, who said "Team Thunder have taken Pokémon from more than just you think, you have to return Pokémon to multiple trainers. Next, you have to go through the swirling slide". "FUN!" said Plusle and Minun at the same time. The boy didn't understand, if he had, he would have said, it isn't fun, its dangerous, but he didn't understand, and was just confused. Plusle and Minun now realised it wasn't fun, as they got jabbed by nettles as they slid down on the tunnel.

They met an injured boy. "Go up the super fast elevator" he said, im too tired. Plusle and Minun wondered how even Team Thunder managed to get through all this tricks, but they know it was some way. They went up the elevator, and it looked like they were in a jungle, but they were actually indoors.

It began to look like a dungeon, there were animals that attacked them, but it seemed just like a Pokémon battle, but it was actually easier, because they animals had no attacks. "And thats really so hard" said Plusle "Don't think so too quick, remember the slide" said Minun, "OH YEAH" said Plusle "I remember".
But it was easy, Plusle used his Thunder attack, and Minun used Helping Hand, but it began to get hard. They kept coming, and coming, and coming, and coming, and coming, until Plusle and Minun were tired out, and fell to sleep. When they woke up, they were back at the start. "I have a plan" said Plusle "What" said Minun. "Lets keep our tails touched" said Plusle "What will that do" said Minun, "It will defend us" said Plusle "OH YEAH!" said Minun. So they touched tails and Plusle used Thunder attack and the animals couldn't get near them.

They creeped along to the end of the hall and they managed to finally get to the end of the jungle, and were back into the castle.

Team Thunder were still worried about how it would ocme out, if they managed to get to the top of the castle, they would be out of business. "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU!" said one of the members, lets just set up better traps, all over the castle, lets block all rooms that may get them to the top. They set the bridge that connects two parts of the castle to "case sensitive" so that if someone walks across it, it will lower and they will fall to the bottom and off the castle. Great idea, so they did that.

"Maybe we should also lock the door to the top" said another member, "NO! remember how they got in", "OH YEAH!" Lets block the elevator, take the button off, and they won't be able to do it. And so they worked together, to PULL! the function button off, and the elevator was suddenly broken, and they could no longer use it.
Team Thunder then had another idea, they decided to set up more invisible holes, near the top, and Plusle and Minun wouldn't know, so they went across the bridge, and they were suddenly inflicted with their own trap, the bridge went down and they fell down to the bottom.

They had huge worries, what would happen, Plusle and Minun are onfront of them. "WHAT WILL WE DO!" said a member of Team Thunder. Lerts run, up and up. So they went close a bookcase and it asked for a password. And then they told it the password, and the bookcase moved, and there was a hole, which took them to the end of the fruit jungle. However, nothing could get them past Plusle and Minun. It was seemed that the elevator plan didn't work, as Plusle and Minun wasn't there, they were already up the elevator.

Team Thunder wondered thoroughly how on EARTH they managed to get up, but they attempted to get up, but they were tricked by their own plan, and now, they were the ones that were being tricked. Plusle and Minun were very likely to be in no more trouble, and safe.

Plusle and Minun crossed the bridge that Team Thunder had set the trick on, but they were no longer effected by the trick, as Team Thunder was already tricked by it, and so, they went across with ease.

They both wondered why Team Thunder had not thought of any further plans. "Maybe their just lazy" said Minun. That really angered Team Thunder, and they were even more determined to defeat them. Plusle and Minun made their way to the top of the castle, and then opened the door, and rescued the Pokémon from the castle.
They took the shortcut, and took them down to the bottom of the castle, where they returned to their trainers.

Ryan was exttremely impressed with the rescue, and gave them an award, it was a trophy with a picture of them on it. Next their plan was to return all the other stolen Pokémon. And so, they had a rescue booth, and they recieved lots of people looking for their lost Pokémon.
Everyone appreciated Plusle and Minun's work, and was always going to be appreciative for them. Team Thunder was upset to the death that they had lost their stolen Pokémon.
 
Last edited:

pathophobe

Well-Known Member
Very rushed. This seems like you just felt like making a story, but didn't know how. Good effort though! 1/5
 

nashie1

Well-Known Member
all chapters combined is only the acceptable length of one chapter. Don't rush it. Have another go after reading the advice for aspiring authors and thinking the story through...
 

gama85

Junior Field Assista
interesting, but the chapters are a little short. try combining your first four chapters into one, and also put some space between paragraphs
 
Top